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agentminnesota187:

Damirae Masterlist

Echoes

Summary: After the death of Terra Markov and Slade Wilson, Damian Wayne felt that something was off. Turns out, he was right.

Prologue

Chapter1: Slade’s Return

Chapter2: Surprise Guest (A Good One This Time)

Chapter3: Meeting the Bigger Leagues

Chapter 4


One-shots

New Years

xaphrin:

Finally, six months later, I have finished one of my fics for DamiRae Smut Week 2021. So… here it is. The Batmobile prompt. Finally.

- - - 

She could not be serious. 

She could not be serious.

Damian’s face fell as he stared out the window of the car, his eyes firmly on the tapered waist of Raven’s body. The wind and rain picked up, making her blazer flutter around her and showing off the holster strapped to her ribs. She bent down, trying to see through the darkly tinted windows, and lifted two paper cups emblazoned with the logo of his favorite coffee shop. He bit back a groan and lifted his eyes to the ceiling on the Batmobile.

Shewasserious.  

“I know you’re in there, Batman.” Raven only reserved that tone of voice for perpetrators and when Damian was in serious trouble. “Open up the damn car. It’s freezing out here.” 

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athenadione:

‘free’

This one-shot is completely inspired by andthendk. You can view the original artwork HERE.

You can also read the one-shot on a03 HERE.

Word count:2,345

Genre: Angst and Hurt And Comfort

Rated: M for character death and scenes of violence



She’s laughing. With abandon. Even as she coughs up blood a second later and curls into herself at the short stab of pain that blossoms at her side because he’s gone.

Forever.

And I’m free.

Seguir leyendo

megwritesfanfiction:

Sins

A/N: Well. Well, well, well. Yeah I know I don’t use this site anymore but I said I would write a DamiRae fic for a friend, and I did so I figured I should post here.

Yes, I still write fanfiction. I write My Hero Academia fanfiction. I mainly use twitter now (https://twitter.com/megwritesfanfic).

But here’s the fic.

Nice popping back in! :P

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“What’s your problem?”

Damien blinked, shocked. He adjusted his posture as his fist nervously moved from in front of his mouth to his lap to the arm of the couch. “Excuse me?” His lips wobbled as he tried to keep himself from laughing.

“You’re staring,” Raven answered, not bothering to look up from her book.

“You-” His eyes darted back and forth.

Obviously tracing the path that Gar had just taken back to his room.

“You didn’t see that-” Alfred had lectured him more than once about the difference between being honest and rude. And as much as Damien hated to admit it…

Well, he would never admit it out loud, but he knew that Alfred knew that Damien knew the advice was more meaningful than ever working with a team.

“-that-” Though he was struggling with a polite way to describe that shameful display.

“You mean Garfield’s atrocious attempts to flirt with me?”

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Hahaha, love it!

roverballjam:

Chapter 3 - and so i have value ? - M. J. (Spider-Man)


Bat- Jet - from Gotham to Bluvhaven to wherever Jason was to Titans Tower

“I have never known a betrayal as profound as what you’ve experienced. But I do know that being victimised is CORROSIVE.” Raven said gently “Sometimes talking about it… it can help. So, you ever wanna talk about it, with someone who knows the story in its entirety, I’m a strong thought away”


Jason had continued to look at the ocean, so vast and unending. It made Jason feel so small and inconsequential. Warm sand slipping through his fingers, like the time he lost. His lost childhood. It flew away, with the wind.

Raven a steady presence by his side. A supporting presence, unobtrusive. Jason could just about hear Raven’s calm breathing over the roar of the ocean, surrounding them. Its salty muggy wind assaulting their skin, pulling their clothes. Inclosing them and isolating them form the world, with a wall of sound and smell of fish and birds.

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roverballjam:

It’s educational (Based on Hogfatherby Terry Pratchett)


At Wayne Enterprises- Christmas Day


Raven had volunteered Damian and herself as Mr. and Mrs. Clause. Every year the company opened its reception, ostentatiously decorated, to the public. This year Father Christmas was violently unwell. Up chucking violently during his first break. While he was being loaded into an ambulance via back entrance, Albert who was in charge of the whole thing started to panic. He’d called around and there were no replacement Santas to be had.


Damian’s grandparents had started this tradition, and thereafter it was trendy for business to show how much they cared for the underprivileged. For one day a year.


With no back up costumes available Raven magicked outfits for Damian and herself, tacking charge of Santa’s sack of presents. Tim, seeing the panic on Albert’s face, I mead Damian as Santa clause would giver anyone pause, volunteered as a helper elf.


The first child was approaching Damian, a rather convincing Santa Clause, with Raven at his side holding Santa’s sack of presents. Albert was peeking form behind Santa’s chair rubbing his hands anxiously.


“WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR Christmas ? Boomed Damian as Father Christmas.

Mother took her economic cue, and said briskly: “She wants a—”


Santa snapped his fingers impatiently. The mother’s mouth slammed shut.

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ariadnesparacosm:

Demons Within: Chapter 5

Another new chapter!

Raven finally gets help from experts

carnationmilk:

Ballet AU, smut scene taking place in Chapter 3fromPas de Deux. Hope you like it! 

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Raven’s breathing was slow and heavy, she was trying to regain her normal rhythm, but she was smiling with satisfaction. As Damian had promised, things took their natural course, and any doubts she had had about how their relationship was going to change were completely erased.

After coaching with Miss Goodness, they continued an extra hour, going over all their scenes together. And everything ran as if nothing had happened.

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Damirae Week 2020: First And Last

First(11k words)

 In a dark alleyway in the upscale part of Gotham, two figures are seen entangled around each other. The smaller figure was a woman and her back was against the wall. The broader figure was a male, his right forearm resting beside her head. The lady’s fingers lay upon the man’s jaw conservatively unlike his left hand, which lay on her hip with no such reservation. His grip was strong as he held her. She shyly placed a hand on his chest; the hesitation he felt. With his free hand he pressed her left hand against his sternum.

A soft gasp came from her lips, when she felt his firm chest against her hand. It gave her the courage to cup his cheek with her palm.

He felt her hand pressed to his chest with no fear. Their lips still locked onto one another; He had taken note of her experience, or lack thereof. She wasn’t bad, in fact she was quite well practiced, but it was clear that she was nervous at his touch and that gave away to her inexperience. 

Even so, his desire for her grew, his rationality slightly muddled. His fevered hand moved to her mid back; his thumb parallel to her spine. He pulled her closer to him, deepening the kiss. She couldn’t help but moan at his abruptness. And boy, was her moan music to his ears.

As her body was pressed against his, she felt the effect their heated kissing session had on him. Her soft body against his, made his desire grow. Before he would commit to the thoughts that he wanted to do on her, he pulled away. Her soft pants fueled him; his green eyes looked at her swollen lips dangerously.

“How old are you again?” He asked as he collected his breath too. For a moment she was confused, and her violet eyes stared at him.

“I’m twenty-four.” She replied again, he had asked her age prior to them making out, and once more before that. Her eyes were clear as she replied, so he did not doubt for a second that she was lying about her age. Although, admittedly she looked younger than twenty-four. He brought his face near her left ear.

“Good.” He mumbled near her left ear. And then his face hovered dangerously so close to her face, their lips almost touching. “Let’s not dampen the mood.” He pulled away and he gently held onto her hand as she quietly observed him.

“Let’s go bring this somewhere else.” He said in a deep voice, as he brought her fingers towards his lips and kissed them fleetingly. Her violet eyes flickered, it was a promise, and an invitation.

“I-I’m staying at a lodge on the opposite side of the city.” She offered and his eyes flickered. The hand holding hers dropped slowly from his face but still holding on to the soft hands of the lady.

That part of the city was where the criminals go rampant. But to be fair the entirety of Gotham was dangerous; it just so happened it is even more so at that shitty part of the city. And a young, small, fragile girl like the woman in front of him—well the thought of her in that part of the city did not sit well with him.

His scrutinizing gaze unintentionally put the woman in front of him on edge.

“You came a long way to get to this part of the city.” He finally remarked. His initial thoughts about her revelation masked.

“I came a long way to get to Gotham.” She replied quietly, her violet eyes so very clear to the man. He was very much attracted to it. He pulled her out of the alleyway. His black slacks and shiny dress shoes paired with a dark red button up shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, made the woman think: that the man before her suited this part of town well. His black hair was messy but with a purpose, and his green eyes were enchanting. His golden skin emphasized his muscles and even his clothing couldn’t hide how well toned he was. 

She stepped out of the shadow of the alleyway, her short black vinyl skirt glistening against the bright city lights. Her black shirt with a print and a rip below the round collar was tucked under the high waisted skirt. Her black combat boots are dusty. Her black shoulder length hair on a messy half up half down hairstyle. She had a small black purse with a silver chain, across her chest. 

Looking at the man before her made her feel that her clothes were cheap in comparison to what he was wearing. But to the man, the ripped shirt showed a peek of the curves of her upper breasts. The two slits on the front of her little skirt, made her legs even more alluring. And her all-black outfit made her pale skin almost glow as if absorbing the moonlight. All these little details he was sure she didn’t notice, made his desire for her increase. He wanted to see everything that she was barely hiding. 

“I have a place nearby—we could go there and finish what we started.” He said the offer was a bit shocking to his own ears. 

She couldn’t help but widen her eyes a bit, her hand wavering. Of course, he would have a place in this part of town. He fit the whole aesthetic well. 

Her violet eyes flickered to the club from across the street. In fact, that was the number one and top-class club in Gotham. That was where they met. 

Of course, he’d have a place in this general area. She felt even more little in front of him, and he sensed that she was self-deprecating herself. He squeezed the hand he was holding, and suddenly pulled her close to him, their lips an inch away. The bulge in his pants pressing against her pelvic firmly. His right arm held her tightly around her small waist.

And her thoughts were all forgotten because of the close proximity of the charming man before her. And particularly the thing pressing against her body. He wanted her. 

“My name is Damian.” He muttered; his green eyes locked onto her violet orbs.

“I’m Raven.” She replied back, her breathing uneven at the thought of the bulge against her lower belly.

“’Well then, Raven.” He whispered to her ear deeply. “Do you want to continue this at my place?” And she couldn’t help but nod vacantly. 

“Alright then, let’s get to the car.” He pulled away, gently pulling her hand to a certain direction.

Her eyes glanced again at the club. This was what she wanted. So, she shouldn’t be nervous and she gripped Damian’s hand maybe out of comfort or something else. A smile formed on Damian’s face when he felt her small hand squeeze his hand.

When they got to his black car, she didn’t recognize its brand, but she knew that it was expensive. A luxury sports car. She gazed at the man who was holding the door open for her. 

He must be very rich, she thought as she slid onto the passenger’s seat. He then got in the driver’s seat and made his way to his apartment building. She was slightly nervous but the drive wasn’t very long. And she was shocked to see the enormous skyscraper in front of her. 

“Who are you?” She inquired cautiously; he glanced at her with a smirk.

“I’m Damian.” He simply replied, “I will open the door for you.” She nodded in response. He stepped out of the car and the valet took the keys from him. He went around the car to open her door for her, offering his hand for her to which she gladly accepted. She glanced at the valet as they entered the building. 

Damian did not particularly like the steady gaze she had on the male valet. He slipped his right hand around her left hip and squeezed her towards him. She turned to look at Damian, his gaze slightly dangerous. The squeeze a reminder. Her face slowly turned red at the thought of how this evening would progress.

As the pair stepped into the lobby, Raven gasped at the beauty of the building. White ceilings, ivory-colored walls, glistening white tiles—a chandelier. Everything about the lobby was breathing-taking, and evidently only for the upper class. 

The lounge area was breath-taking. She was obviously out of place.

The female receptionist saw Damian enter, and stood up to greet him and his company. The fact that he even brought anyone- especially a woman here, was shocking to the female receptionist. But before she could even utter his name, Damian gave her a firm glance. A warning. He lifted his free hand and tilted his head ever so slightly. 

The receptionist’s eyes widened, and instead of uttering her greeting she merely bowed her head a bit. Raven did not miss the interaction of Damian and the receptionist, she turned to look at him inquisitively. 

“What is it, Raven?” He asked calmly with a gentle smile as he guided her to an elevator.

“Who are you really?” She asked again, and he stopped in front of the elevator that had a biometric scan.

“I think I’ve answered that, my dear.” He replied as he placed his left thumb against the scan. She stared at his thumb as he retracted it and at the same time the elevator doors opened. 

Obviously, he was someone. 

Damian released her waist and slipped his hand onto her hand as he stepped onto the elevator.

“Well?” He looked at her.

She could reject him now. He wasn’t forcing her, because once she stepped onto the elevator, he would not hold back. 

And she could see it in his eyes, and the aura that he was giving off. The promise and invitation he gave on that dark alleyway, of how this night would end. She gripped her small purse with her free hand, that she had slung on her left shoulder while in the car ride. She was certain she wanted to do this. And she stepped into the elevator without a second thought.

The moment the elevator door closed, he pulled her into him and started kissing her lips possessively. His right arm around her waist. While his left hand held the railing to steady them, he took a step back to rest his upper back against the elevator wall. 

“There is no going back now.” He told her in a husky voice, and she couldn’t help but nod as she wrapped an arm around his waist and the other hand rested on his shoulder. For a moment, she had worried about the cameras capturing them. But it was him who pulled her close, and so it should be a given that it was something not to worry about.

When the elevator pinged, Damian pulled away, the self-control he had was on its last few threads. He guided her out the elevator, and she was surprised to see a classic luxury lounge in between the elevator door and a single wood oaked door across the elevator. They passed through the lounge area and he glanced at her as they reached his door.

She knew the moment he opened the door; the last thread of his self-control would be gone. And he would take her in every way he desired. And oddly enough, she kind of looked forward to it.

Another biometric scan on a wooden door, she pondered. But as the door opened and the pair passed through the door, she couldn’t help but note that the wooden door didn’t seem to be actual wood. 

Once she stepped into the space, she didn’t even have time to register her surroundings or adjust to the darkness. The door hadn’t even fully shut and Damian had already turned her around and started kissing her. His self-control is completely gone now. Even though he did not have time to adjust to the darkness, he knew his apartment well.

He grabbed onto her butt with his right hand and lifted her up as she dropped her bag on the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist for support and his hands holding her. He moved to his right and navigated through his living room to reach his bedroom door. He opened the door with his right hand and entered his bedroom. He turned and pressed her back against the door, thus closing it too. 

Raven closed her eyes as she allowed herself to get lost on the feeling again. This was even more intense then when they were at the alleyway. Damian was obviously holding back at that time. Her hands on his shoulder and neck, as he sucked and nibbled on the skin that was revealed by the rip on her shirt. 

He just wanted to fuck her now.

“Just do it.” She mumbled almost instantly as the thought crossed his mind. As if she had read his mind, he paused. 

The invitation he needed. 

“Do whatever you want with me.” She clarified, and he inhaled deeply, that was what he needed. 

“Are you under birth control?” He mumbled absent-mindedly.

“I have them in my bag.” She replied between her moans.

“Would you want me to use protection?” He licked her neck.

“It’s okay if you don’t.” She sighed as he continued on by sucking her neck.

His right-hand slithered under her skirt as he teased her. And she moaned feeling her lace undergarments being pressed against her skin because of this man’s fingers. She arched her back as she unzipped her skirt for easy removal later. 

Damian was occupied with teasing her with a steady speed. His lips finding hers over and over. Eventually he realized her tight skirt had loosen and he pulled his hand back from under her and he ran his hand up her back. 

He felt the open zipper, and he tugged her shirt up from behind her back. He slipped his hand inside her shirt and moved his hand to her chest, lifting the shirt over her breast. He stopped from kissing her as he gazed at the skin that was enticing him from under the rip of her shirt.

Raven raised her hand to hold up her shirt for him to do what he wanted with her breasts. His hand moving down to her left rib. Her other arm tucked under his shoulder.

Her porcelain skin looked mesmerizing in the dark room. Her pink nipples erect and peeking through from under the sheer black lace bra she wore. He wondered what the point of her lace bra was. It was so thin it didn’t seem to hold any purpose. And it only covered the lower half of her breast. In fact, just one move he was sure her tits would slip out. Maybe it was for easy access and it did add an extra allurement to her body. 

But no matter, her choice of undergarment was something he shouldn’t worry about. But then the thought of her wearing a matching sheer black lace under her clothes tonight, made his possessiveness burn from within him. Her skirt was so short and her sheer undergarments just laying underneath her clothes–it was a perfect recipe for a disaster.

He sucked on her right nipple roughly from over the black lace. And she gasped as she buried her face against the side of his head. He tugged on it with his teeth and the lace gave her breast a certain kind of friction from his suckling and light biting and pulling. Her insides are heated up and her nipples hardened even more.

Damian’s mind was brought back to her bra’s sheerness. He put out his tongue and licked the lace above her nipple and brought his tongue on the skin that the bra couldn’t cover and she shivered. 

It was so sheer that he could just—he slipped his tongue under the lace, making sure his tongue’s path would meet her erect nipple. And he pulled the lace down with his tongue, hooking it under the curve of her breast and leaving a streak of saliva on her breast. 

His tongue returned to her nipple. This time no more boundary between his mouth and her breast. He switched the arm supporting her so that his left hand could cup her left breast. With his thumb he pulled the lace down her breast, as he kneaded her left breast and nipple while his mouth worked on her right breast.

Raven moaned louder, he carried her to his bed and laid her down gently. And as his hands retracted, his right hand grabbed her underwear and pulled it down to her combat boots. His left hand grabbed her skirt and pulled it off of her completely. Their eyes locked at one another, her panting echoing within the dark room. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt as he studied her body as she untied her boots to tug her underwear off. 

When she was done, her lower half was now completely naked. Raven turned her head to look at Damian and her eyes met his as his hands unbuttoned his pants, his shoes discarded when she had looked away. She lifted her shirt off of her as his pants completely fell off to his ankles. Her violet eyes staring at his erected dick.

She approached him as she tossed her shirt on the floor, the look on her face breath-taking to him. 

“Wa-wait.” He began but her lips already met his hard penis. And how she worked her mouth on him, made him think that his deduction about her inexperience must have been completely wrong. 

Damian hissed and growled at how she sucked him and licked him. Her tongue swirling around his penis, her hands deftly moving around his balls and dick. The throbbing between her legs seemed to be pulsating intensely too, but this is only something she would know.

He noticed that her black bra was still on, and Damian leaned in to unhook the thing and pulled it off of her shoulders. She felt his penis twitch within her mouth and she pulled away whilst removing her bra too. She panted as she moved back a bit, her legs spread before him, their eyes locked as he leaned into her.

He groped her and kissed her in a rougher way, but it was captivating. And as she lay completely naked before him, his naked back arched as he left kisses on her collarbone. He gathered all the strength he could to pull away. 

“You’re twenty-four, right?” He asked again. She furrowed her brows but nodded. “Good.” He mumbled as he sucked on her right nipple and groped the other. Her soft moans above his head. 

He pulled away from sucking her breast and kissed the base of her neck. His right hand that was resting below her breast traveled down and stopped dangerously near her crotch.

“Are you sure?” He mumbled again, his mind slowly drifting back into his undeniable desire. 

“Yes.” She whispered as she placed a hand on his upper back, her left hand resting near her hip. His hand traveled even lower and as his fingers touched her womanhood, her breath hitched. And he smiled with her reaction and he placed the tips of his fingers in, swirled a bit and pulled out. From what he could feel, she was pretty tight, she was after all a small woman.

He inserted his middle finger in to test her lubrication, but what he found was that his finger alone seemed to have difficulty in entering. She was too tight for sure. 

She was such a small woman, would she be able to handle him and his desires, he wondered. But her seductive moan made him forget his worry and all he could focus on was the throbbing on his dick. He wanted her now.

“Good, you’re really wet.” He said as he pulled away, and she saw his dark gaze as he looked down on her. “But a bit too tight.” Her face flushed.

“Don’t be nervous, my dear.” He said as he kissed her lips whilst inserting his middle finger slowly inside her. With a steady pace he moved his finger inside of her, while his free hand kneaded her left breast. He was gentle and didn’t force his finger in.

“Relax.” He muttered into her lips and as she sighed and moaned intermittently. After some time, his middle finger finally entered her completely. He wiggled his finger inside of her and he heard her voice hitch, he smiled as he kissed down to her sternum. He pulled out his finger and slowly worked on adding a second finger inside of her, as his lips worked around her upper body to try and keep her relaxed. 

Soon after, he finally got three fingers in and he couldn’t help but sigh. 

She really was too tight, what a small woman she was. He couldn’t help but to think as he placed both hands on her hip to steady her. He felt her stiffen ever so slightly against his fingertips.

“Relax.” He reminded her, the desire in his eyes undeniable.

She was embarrassed and so she brought her forearm to rest against her eyes. She did say he could do whatever he wanted to her. She could tell by the way he looked now that she would finally know exactly what he wanted to do to her, to the full extent.

He gripped her hips firmly, his eyes locked onto her embarrassed face, which just fueled his desire. He could tell this night was going to be particularly long. His desire for her seemed to reach a new threshold every second he was near her. It was rather astonishing.

At first, he slowly placed himself in her, but once his tip entered her, his thoughts went blank as he bit his lip.

He fully entered her with a rough and possessive thrust. She winced and whimpered, and he pressed her body down to minimize any movement that could harm her any further. His eyes widen, his golden-brown skin turning ashen. The hands on her hips were wavering a bit. He looked as though he had killed a man unintentionally.

“Did-did I hurt you?” His voice came wearily. “I- I’m sorry.”

She stole a peek at him, water in her eyes. “It’s- it’s not your fault.” Her voice sounded like she was close to crying. And it was like something clicked in Damian’s mind as his eyes widened in realization. Every piece falling into place and putting a clear image on his head.

“You-you.” He muttered, realizing what had happened. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is slightly on edge. Raven hid behind her arm again and he could tell she didn’t want to talk about it.

“You’re—you’re really twenty-four though, right?” He asked quietly, unmoving, slightly terrified at the thought of taking someone underage. It had almost happened to him once.

“I am.” Her brows furrowed. “I told you to do what you want with me, please, don’t make this a big deal.” 

He couldn’t even be mad at this point, he sighed. “You should have told me.” He leaned in to kiss her neck.

“I’m sorry, I will be gentle.” He reassured her and he took it slowly. He kissed her and groped her and sucked on her with his lips and hands to keep her distracted from the pain of losing her virginity. Eventually, the pain was gone and her moans became alluring once again, almost begging. She had become accustomed to him, but he was still a bit weary, a bit guilty.

He should have noticed her tightness, but he was too distracted with his increasing desire that was obviously out of place. He should have noticed the moment he noted her inexperience. It was a major flaw on his part. He shouldn’t have been so rash; she had blind-sided him with her experience in a blowjob, this he couldn’t deny.

“Yes, please…” She mumbled bringing him back to his current situation. He had gained speed unconsciously and she was begging him to continue on. 

Yes, indeed this night will be long. He thought as he slowed his pace to tease her.

It was hours later after multiple moans, screams, begging and orgasms from both parties that Damian truly realized how odd his behavior for the woman in his arms truly was. He wasn’t a cuddler. But look at him now, holding Raven against his chest. He certainly would never even invite a potential sexual partner to his apartment. And yet, he did for her. 

He wasn’t even the type to do a one-night stand or picking a woman up randomly and in a club of all places. In fact, he would carefully pursue a potential sexual partner, or in the very least have gotten to know them significantly before sleeping with them. And admittedly he would stick to one fuck buddy for as long as able. But he supposed there was a first for everything. As long as it wasn’t someone underage. That was a line he was not willing to cross.

He had almost after all, been a victim of trickery of an underaged woman because of his family name. 

When he had seen Raven at the club, the woman in his arms, she stood out like a sore thumb. She obviously did not belong at such a loud place, and clearly didn’t know anything about the club culture. He was just silently observing her, curious as to how she even caught his gaze. But when she looked as though she was avoiding phantom touches, he couldn’t seem to stand it. He got up from his chair, leaving his mindless companions and approached her through the sea of people on the dance floor.

He didn’t expect much. He didn’t even think that the night would end the way it did, when he had first seen her. He approached her blocking the greasy hands of a man in front of her. She had noticed Damian’s hands blocking the hands moving close to her. She followed where the hand came from and her violet eyes met his green eyes.

He genuinely did not expect anything, but when their eyes met, there was an undeniable connection. Her eyes were translucent and it clearly showed that she made up her mind about something. And that clarity in her eyes made him even more enamored by her. 

They danced a bit, as she tried her best to avoid the wandering hands of the people around her. And unwanted body parts against her certain body parts. They had exchanged names but it was rather unclear over the loud music. And soon later he invited her out, that was how they ended up on the alleyway across from the club in the first place.

The moment their eyes met she must have made up her mind on how she wanted her evening to end. She must have made up her mind that she wanted her virginity lost and to him of all people. 

He gazed down at the head on his chest.

Damian had exhausted Raven too much for her first time. And a part of him felt guilty for it, but he also felt protective—no rather it was possessive over her. He held her firmly and she softly moaned, as his eyes fluttered closed.

Raven rarely had a good night’s sleep. She was normally plagued by awful nightmares when the night came. But that night, against the chest of a man she had met at a high-end club, in the rich part of Gotham, she found that she had the best sleep she ever had in her entire life.

When she decided to lose her virginity earlier that evening, she was about fifty-fifty. She wasn’t expecting much. In fact, it wasn’t something she whole-heartedly put her heart into doing. Raven figured, that since she is in Gotham already, wouldn’t it be the best place to have her first sexual encounter. 

No one knew her, and she could just slip away after the deed was done. And it wouldn’t matter because she would leave Gotham in a few weeks. But she also wanted to at least meet someone experienced, and since she was at a place, she wasn’t familiar with, she should also try things she normally doesn’t do.

That was how she ended up at the club. With a half-hearted desire that could or could not happen that night and to experience a night life in an unfamiliar place.

She was supposed to slip away at night, if she wound up sleeping with someone. But she had the best sleep in Damian’s arms. And when she woke up, she was still on his bed, but without the owner. The sunlight peeking through the cracks of the thick curtains on her left. 

She was supposed to slip out at night, she recalled as she sat up. But it was clearly day and she was still on his bed. 

Raven studied the room carefully. The bedroom was impossibly too big for one person. She studied the stretch of thick black curtains on her left. There was a night stand on either side of the bed. The simple furnishing, yet the wide, wide space. There was a dark round oak table with two matching chairs with arm rests on the left corner of the room by the wall of black curtains.

There was a dark blue settee against the wall facing the bed which had black and white sheet over the arm. And there was a glass coffee table with dark oak wood in front of the settee. A white canvas with a black painting atop the settee, it looked to be a landscape painting of a building that looked Arabic but filled in black with trees in the background. 

The room was filled with black, white, dark blue and dark oak wood. The walls were dark blue, and the floor onyx. It was pretty grim, but the space clearly belonged to a man. The image of her first lover came to mind, and the space fit him exceptionally well.

There was a short hallway by the wall on her right. From her angle she could see that there was a white door. It didn’t appear to have anyone inside, as there were no lights from under the door.

She turned her head to look at the door beside her, he must be outside. She searched for her clothes, but it was nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was a white polo shirt neatly folded on the night stand on her right. It was clearly for her. She picked it up wearily and stood up, she felt extremely sore everywhere and particularly worse between her legs. 

She buttoned the polo shirt and on her it looked like a dress. She cautiously and carefully stepped out of the bedroom. Because of the rush last night, she wasn’t able to study the apartment when they entered. And as she looked at the living space, she was completely in awe. 

She thought that maybe she was dreaming. The bedroom she would describe as grim, but the living room looked as though it was heaven’s lounge. If she thought that the bedroom was way too big for one man, what she could see of the apartment from where she stood, could not justify a single person owning such a space. 

White, gold and glass, that was all she could see, and it stretched out till the back. But she still did not see Damian. Exactly, who was this man?

She was absolutely intimidated. 

“Raven?” She heard his voice and he stepped out through an archway she could not see from where she was. He was holding a plate of food; he wore a white shirt and plain black boxers. “I was going to give you breakfast in bed.” He said and she could hear her heart pounding in her chest. She was unsure of her situation. 

This was not how she thought her possible morning could be after her first intercourse.

“Would you like to have breakfast in the kitchen?” He asked patiently, seeing her nervousness.

“I couldn’t find my clothes.” She stated something they both already knew, but he gave her a patient smile.

“Well, I went and washed them.” Her eyes widened in response and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It’s not a big deal,” He told her, but the actual truth was: that was the first time he ever washed someone else’s clothes for them. “I’ve already seen you without them after all.” He added nonchalantly.

“No-no you didn’t have to do that!” Her face was completely red at his implication and him washing her clothes for her, even her underwear was an embarrassing thought as it was. Even though he did remove them himself last night, she was still very embarrassed at having a virtually male stranger wash her clothes– especially her undergarments for her.

“Relax, it really isn’t a big deal. I honestly didn’t want you to wear them as you go down. I don’t want to have you do a walk of shame.” He smiled charismatically at her. Raven’s initial self-consciousness was gone for a moment.

“But-but that is what I get, I- I did go here—” She couldn’t finish her words, her face completely red recalling the long, long night they had. 

“I was supposed to slip out at night. A one night-stand.” Raven confessed abruptly and awkwardly as she took a step forward. Hearing her confession Damian couldn’t help but feel a thump in his chest. He really did not understand why he would react that way towards a stranger. But she smiled at him and he forgot about the concerning and abnormal thump.

“It’s alright, you are inexperienced.” Her eyes flickered at his comment but she chuckled instead. Unconsciously she took a step forward and walked her way to him and he gave her a genuine smile.

“Uhm, so if my clothes are being washed—” She started.

“Oh, I asked someone to buy you clothes.” He cut in and her face froze. 

“Wha-what?” The thought of someone buying her undergarments crossed her mind and she felt a different kind of embarrassment surge through her.

Raven heard him laugh thus making her mind wander to him.

“This isn’t funny!” 

“I’m sorry,” He contained his laughter and cleared his throat. “Honestly, don’t worry about it. I took the liberties and asked someone to get you a selection of clothes. And from what I know of your body—” He observed her with a slick smile, his green eyes noticing her small frame in the polo shirt he prepared for her, aroused something in him, it was his shirt after all, the sight she was giving him, well, he couldn’t deny that it was very sexy.

She felt his desire and saw his gaze show the faintest hint of lust and she couldn’t stop her body from heating up under his serious stare, but he suddenly cleared his throat.

“From what I could tell and know, I think I made some good estimates of your clothing size.” His eyes looked away from her and a small part of Raven felt disappointed. “And I even asked for a number of styles, in hopes that the likelihood of you liking something at least would be raised.”

“You didn’t have to…” She mumbled and he looked at her and simply shook his head.

“It’s the least I could do after I went all out on you like that.” And her face flared up again in remembrance of the passionate night. She was surprised her throat did not feel dry at all, but she could faintly feel the throbbing pain between her legs, something she had forgotten while conversing with Damian in her shame. Standing before the man who caused it, even though there was a significant distance between them, made the space between her legs feel empty.

She cleared her throat at the thought, her eyes slightly wide.

“You must be hungry. Would you like to have breakfast in the kitchen?” She looked at him for a moment then looked at the space beside him, where he had stepped out from. She was afraid her eyes would reveal her ignited desire and so she glanced away quickly.

“Yes, that would be lovely, thank you.” She mumbled, trudging towards him.

“The kitchen is here.” He said and she noticed the archway on her left. Even the kitchen looked like perfection of its own. There was another archway across the one they passed through. On her right upon entering was a six-seater dining table. It was made of glass and had white accents. 

Damian set the plate he was holding in front of the other set of food that was identical to hers. She approached the seat he placed her plate on, and he pulled the chair for her. 

There was an island counter made of grey marble on the space right of the dining table with bar stools on the side closest to the dining table. On the other side of the island counter was the fridge, sink, oven and the same grey marble that stretched horizontally to each end of the wall of the room. 

“Your—your apartment is beautiful.” She mumbled as she heard herself gulp down her saliva. “I guess, you still won’t tell me who you are?” She nervously laughed and he shook his head with a faint smile on his lips.

“Let’s have some breakfast, I exhausted you too much last night, especially for your first time. My apologies.” Damian said politely as he waited for her to pick up her fork. The ache between her legs finally registered in her head when he reminded her of how thoroughly he released his desires on her.

“Thank you for the breakfast.” She said again as she picked up her fork.

“I’m actually quite curious about something.” He told her and she looked up from her meal. “You were a virgin up ‘til last night, right?” She nodded in response cautiously.

“It makes one wonder, if you kept it for that long, you must have been saving it for someone.” And he hit the mark on that, and he knew he did when her body stiffened. Before he could tell her that she didn’t have to say anything she looked at him softly with a smile.

“You’re not wrong.” She quietly began as she set the fork down. “I- I had a boyfriend.” He patiently waited for her story, her eyes seeming to enter a memory. 

There was the slightest anger and jealousy in his heart at the thought of her thinking of a different man, especially someone she knew longer than him. And even the thought of him reacting the way he was right now did not cross Damian as an odd thing, he was more concerned about what kind of memory she has had with her boyfriend more than anything, even his peculiar reaction.

“In fact, we only ever dated one another. We dated when we were sixteen, and we were really in-love.” He frowned as she tucked her hair behind her ear, looking away from him and recalling good memories. Her eyes sparkled at the thought of her ex, and Damian lamented.

“He knew that I wanted to save myself for marriage.” Her eyes suddenly flicker at him, and Damian was startled and he couldn’t help but think that he didn’t have a good feeling of how this story would end. 

“And he respected that. At first it was shy kisses on the cheeks, which lead to shy kisses on the lips, and then slightly longer kisses on the lips. Eventually we would make out, and then longer make out sessions. He knew I wanted to save myself for marriage.  And it was perfect, we were happy.” Raven had a faint smile on her lips, her eyes had wandered onto Damian’s plate.

“As we grew older, we tested a few things, and he kept within the line. Kissing, groping and hickeys, it’s how it started. And then as time passed, he wanted more- he wanted to experience more. So, a hand job there, then a blow job and for some time it was alright. And then he wanted more. He knew I wanted to save myself, it’s why we compromised. It’s why I compromised, even though I didn’t want to do those things.” She closed her eyes briefly with a sigh. When she looked at Damian, he looked ashen.

“Did—” He hesitated, his eyes quivering, she blinked in surprise. “Did he force you?” He asked in such a low voice. He was scared for her and she smiled faintly, touched by his concern. 

“I wouldn’t concede to what he wanted. And in the beginning, he respected that, but then he started saying that we would marry each other someday, so I should give myself to him completely. At that point, we were dating for almost six years already. And even if I was already in my twenties, I still wanted to save myself for marriage. He didn’t even formally propose to me.” Raven licked her lips as she leaned close to the table while her head was turned to the island counter on her right. Damian waited patiently. 

“He started becoming colder, would stay out late and wouldn’t tell me. It took me some time to realize, maybe I was in denial—six years— you know” She sighed heavily. “The late nights, the swollen lips paired with lipstick stains on his clothes. The undeniable smell of a woman’s perfume. He was sleeping with other people because I was unwilling.” Raven felt like she could smell the perfumes of those women and she heard Damian’s breath hitch.

“I must be an idiot, because I still stayed with him quietly for a few more months. And he would pretend and say I love you like he wasn’t doing what he was doing. At that point I saw him in the act in the shadows. Even though other women were filling what I couldn’t, he became more aggressive in his advances with me.” She felt the anger in Damian from across the table, and as she noted his clenched fists, she came to realize that it was odd that she was comfortable sharing such a thing with him. 

Raven placed a hand over his clenched fist on the table. “It’s clear he didn’t get what he wanted because it was my first-time last night.” 

Damian’s eyes cleared a little with the reminder. A rueful smile on his lips.

“And don’t you worry, I broke it off a few months ago already.” Raven quickly clarified. 

Damian thought that it was a detail she didn’t have to clarify in such a gleeful manner, but in the back of his mind, the fact was rather reassuring. it also fueled his possessiveness for the woman across from him.

“I had personal business in Gotham. It was also a good way to stay away from my boyfriend—” She realized what she had said and corrected quickly. “I mean my ex, sorry, I haven’t talked to anyone about him being my ex, it’s quite a foreign word.” She laughed awkwardly as she shook her head.

“Well, anyways, the thing I had to attend to—ended earlier than expected, and since I had free time, the thought crossed me: what if I took this opportunity to get rid of it? You know my virginity.” She waved her hand carelessly. “And that is how I ended up at the club. I wasn’t really thinking of finding someone and just doing it. I was half-hearted with the thought, but if it did happen, I planned to slip out in the middle of the night after the deed and I would finally not have it– my virginity.” She placed her elbow on the table as she covered her mouth and her cheeks turned pink.

“I obviously did not slip away last night.” She said embarrassedly and he chuckled in response. She glanced at him with a small pout.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” He quietly said, and she was taken aback by it. 

She shook her head. “You probably say that to every woman who comes here.” She was stern in her words but she noticed the soft glance and small twinkle in his eyes and then he barely shook his head.

“You might not believe this, but I have never brought a woman in here before. You are the first.” Hearing this Raven’s eyes were slightly bigger than usual. “You clearly don’t believe me.” He laughed wholeheartedly, and she glanced down on her food, her face completely red.

“You really are. In fact, I don’t sleep with just anyone, I’m rather picky, I prefer to know them significantly enough to feel like sleeping with them casually.” He said before she could say anything, she glanced up at him. His green eyes were so clear, she knew he wasn’t lying. 

“Well, there is a first for everything.” She responded gently. “In fact, last night was the best sleep I’ve ever had.” Damian was startled at what she had said, and his eyes sparkled even more and his smile grew wider and was so gentle. She knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“I honestly feel the same way.” And this time, Raven’s blush was not out of embarrassment but of love. It wasn’t crazy love, but it felt like she had met someone she really connected with.

“Your breakfast looks really good.” She said hoping that she didn’t look like some lovesick girl as she picked up her fork.

“Mmhm, I can think of other things that look good.” Even though she was looking and picking on her food, she could feel his gaze on her, and it made her entire body flush.

She cleared her throat as the doorbell rang. Her body quivered due to the sudden ringing of the bell and he chuckled as he stood up.

“That must be your clothes, why don’t you continue with breakfast while I go get it.” She looked at him as he stood up and left her in the kitchen.

Raven solemnly chewed on her food as she recalled her ex-boyfriend. It was odd, it felt like that happened years ago, when in fact, it was at least six months ago. A lot has happened since then. Although that whole situation was messed up as it already was even then.

“I laid the clothes down on the bed for you to choose from.” Was the first thing Damian said as he re-entered the kitchen. And seeing her look so serious with vacant eyes, made his heartstrings strained.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Hm?” She looked up at him, her violet eyes looking less hazy. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Thinking of what?” His tone was as light as he could muster, trying to give her peace of mind.

“That I really screwed up this potential one-night stand.” She laughed and he smiled hearing her soft laughter. Finding that he was not offended by her comment at all, as he could feel that she was teasing him. But he was genuinely glad that she didn’t slip out last night, not that she could with the way he held her.

“I think you should be flattered, you’re the first girl to ever see my apartment. And the first person who gets to taste my cooking!” He smiled at her, his eyes looking like the stars for Raven and she felt her cheeks flushed.

“Your cooking is really good.” She mumbled and he laughed.

“Well, I was extra careful, I was kind of trying to impress someone.” He leaned onto the table towards her, and she avoided his stare. “I just hope I’m a better cook than your ex.” He added lightly and she laughed.

“Oh, you definitely are.” She took a big bite of her food as she looked at him. “I hope you’d eat with me though, that is something he hasn’t done in so long.” He looked at her with furrowed brows and a thin line on his lips.

“Of course.” He finally said, picking his fork up.

“So, are you going to tell me who you are?” Raven opened up again and he burst into fits of laughter, shaking his head.

“No. I’d rather not ruin this moment.” He sounded very warm and welcoming, and Raven finally understood that his smile was so contagious. She couldn’t help but smile back at him, holding in a giggle.

“I just hope you’re not a criminal, you know?” She teased, and he quickly shook head.

“No. No! I am not!” But for a second there was a darkness in his eyes that she had detected.

“I just wouldn’t want to be left in a ditch somewhere. You just seem way too good to be true.” She quietly assessed as she took another bite.

“I’m not a bad person.” He reassured her and then hesitated. “Well, at least I’d like to think I’m not.” 

She peered at him in confusion and spoke in certainty. “I don’t think you are.” 

And Damian was completely taken blind-sided by her. And they continued on with their breakfast with such a warm and loving aura around them. It felt like they had known each other longer than their passionate evening yesterday. For the first time, Damian felt his apartment was filled with warmth, not the sheer coldness it always had.

“Oh, I hope you took your pill.” Damian recalled that they were fucking raw last night and Raven stopped drinking her orange juice.

“I have something to confess…” Raven mumbled and Damian actually felt fear. Was this all a trick? He’s mind feeling fragile, he didn’t want this to be a trick, he actually liked her. And to him, liking someone did not come so easily as this.

“I’ve– I’ve never been under the pill before, so there is that, but I do plan to take it if the deed did happen.” Raven avoided looking at his face in fear that he would show disdain towards her.

“Oh, that’s alright. I should have been more cautious and used a condom.”

“No– I was glad you didn’t, so I got to experience that…” Her face flushed “The way I did, uhm, the birth control is in my bag.” She cleared her throat.

“Alright, that is in the living room, I can go and get it real quick for you.” She nodded and she watched him stand up and leave. He returned with her bag and she smiled as she took it.

Raven held the birth control and took the first pill and downed it with orange juice.

“At least you get to see me drink it, not that I wouldn’t…but a witness is better than none.” Raven smiled at him and he smiled back.

Damian picked up his fork and continued eating, staring at the woman across from him.

“I’m glad you didn’t slip away last night.” He muttered under his breath and she looked up at him, her smile disappearing.

“What?” She asked not hearing his words.

“I’m glad we met.” He smiled at her, and she knew that wasn’t what he had initially said. It was what her gut was telling her, but his eyes were clearly telling her he wasn’t lying too.

“I’m glad too.” A simple and honest response.

When they finished their breakfast, she offered to help him clean. And he insisted that she didn’t have to.

“Why don’t you go take a shower instead.” He suggested.

“I should at least help you clean.” Raven muttered, the pair standing by the sink beside one another.

“You must be feeling sore, I think a hot shower would help you.” He whispered as he turned to her, and her mind was brought back to last night.

“I actually forget about the ache.” She whispered back, the pain completely forgotten, now it just felt like she was empty again.

“Still, a warm shower would really feel good.” He turned his back to the sink, trying not to think about the look on her face that was making him think naughty things.

“I don’t even know where the shower is.” Damian glanced back at her seriously and nodded.

“Here let me show you.” He placed down the plate he was holding and guided her out of the kitchen and back to the living room. Mid-way he realized that it would be odd to guide her there. He stopped in his tracks abruptly.

“There is a bathroom in my bedroom, the doors on the right, the left one is the shower.” He quickly explained turning to her who was startled that he stopped but nodded in response to his instructions. Raven was nearing his bedroom door and he had just turned around to return to the kitchen.

“Uh, wait.” Raven suddenly called out, turning to look at him and he turned around too looking concerned, her face red.

“Tha-thank you for your hospitality.” Raven shyly spoke and he nodded because words could not seem to come out of his lips. She entered his bedroom, her face feeling so red and recalled that he had laid the clothes on his bed and was shocked to see the amount of clothes he had prepared for her.

Raven was beyond mesmerized and shocked at the amount of clothes prepared, even the undergarments. Aside from different styles, there are also different color palettes. Damian didn’t even forget to add in accessories and shoes. She was certain the man she had slept with was some big shot. And that big shot had gone through extreme lengths for her.

Raven felt rather intimidated by all the clothing choices laid before her, and so she retreated into his shower instead. In the little hall there were only two doors, one on the left which was a white door and another on the right. She recalled that he told her to go to the one on the left and so she opened the door knob and was heavily astounded. 

Even his bathroom was surely not meant for one person. 

Raven was certain that it could be some spa room at a five-star hotel or something.

The place had white, black and gold. The floor tiles were white. The walls black. 

Damian had a jacuzzi, a big space in the center for who knows what with a marble bench, an area for showering that had a glass wall and door which had a marble bench inside. By the shower area there are two sinks in front of a mirror that reached his ceiling. 

Raven noticed that by the sink, there was a clean set of neatly stacked and rolled towels in white and black on the shelves on either side of the sink. She even happened to glance at all the expensive products by the sink as she picked a towel. She stared at the white towel in her hand and wondered if she could even afford dirtying it. 

Raven sighed heavily and dragged her feet into his shower area. Her hands shaking as she opened the glass door, wondering if she broke the glass could she even afford to replace it if she sold her kidney. The pale woman froze when she saw his shampoo and soap and other necessities inside the shower area.

“Who-who is this man.” She muttered with shaky fingers, even his bathing things were too expensive to use. Did he expect her to use these? Should she have asked him to buy her toiletries instead of all the clothing options he gave her?

Raven took a deep breath and calmed herself down. 

“He let you shower– it means you can use everything here.” She mumbled to herself trying to gain confidence. 

Eventually Raven was able to shower and found confidence to even look around his bathroom for a spare toothbrush, which she found and used.

He was right though, she felt rather refreshed after the shower, or perhaps it was because the shower was expensive that she felt the need for it to be the most refreshing thing she had ever experienced in her life. And in all honesty, this was probably the closest she would get to living such a rich life.

she also realized something, he did quite the number on her body, she was peppered with so many hickeys.

Raven stepped out of his enormous bathroom to be greeted with an even bigger bedroom, and was instantly intimidated by the clothing on the bed. She had forgotten about that. 

She was as dry as she possibly could be as she walked to the bed and studied a piece of clothing that she had refused to check, at least not until she showered. And well, the time has now come. 

Raven was dumbfounded by the branding tag of the dress on her hand. And she checked the brands of the clothes in front of her and even the undergarments. They were all exclusive and expensive brands. Damian really went all out for her. He had even removed all the price tags and so she can’t identify the price for each clothing. But she knew well that the names she could recognize were high-end brands. 

How could she possibly wear any of these?

Raven couldn’t exactly pick the cheapest items based on the non-existent price tag, so she went for the second best. Choosing simple pieces to wear instead. 

Like the black mid-thigh skirt, and a simple white shirt, but it might be a bit too cold, so she could wear those black tights underneath– or maybe wearing a dress would be better. But didn’t a dress cost more than a shirt and a skirt?

Raven contemplated what to wear, and decided on one thing with certainty: she would have to wear the shoes she wore last night. 

Raven finally decided to wear a simple pair of undergarments that surprisingly fit her perfectly, but she supposed Damian must have checked the sizes of her undergarments last night to get such a good fit. Then she wore the plainest clothes she could find. A black skirt that ended half-way from her knees and ankles, a white blouse with long sleeves and attempted to find her shoes but it wasn’t inside Damian’s bedroom. 

In the very least, this outfit would also hide all the marks he left on her body. Thankfully the man didn’t put any on her neck, but the hickeys start from her collarbone. 

Raven stared at the multitude of clothes and folded them neatly and stacked them, leaving the arranged shoes where they were, untouched by the bed. She sighed; he even got her eight pairs of shoes. This man was more than expensive and meticulous. 

“Okay, just ask for your shoes and leave…” She mumbled to herself, patting her skirt nervously. “And your purse because you left it on the table.”

Raven cautiously stepped out of Damian’s bedroom anxiously. 

“Oh, you’re done.” Damian’s voice startled Raven who had not noticed him. He was wearing jeans and a black shirt. He had a pair of dark lens shades on his shirt and a hat on one hand and a jacket slung over the arm. “While you were in my bedroom shower, I grabbed some clothes from my closet and took a shower in the bathroom.”

“Oh…” Raven mumbled, stepping fully out of his bedroom and awkwardly rubbing her arm and he studied her.

“I didn’t expect that you would wear that.” He remarked but clear amusement and respect was seen in his eyes. “It suits you well, Raven.”

“Oh… well… you know there are way too many clothes in there, I don’t think that was necessary, but thank you for giving me new clothes– I- I don’t know how to repay you.” 

Damian raised a brow at her, “Repay me? No, I didn’t buy those clothes for you to repay me, Raven.” She looked hesitant and then he added, “You have to bring all those clothes back with you, it’s all for you.”

“Oh no, no, no. That is too much.” Raven instantly replied to his offer with some hand gestures.

“Well, I am not going to wear them, Raven.” He shrugged and she couldn’t help but giggle at the mental image he had placed in her, he did put some nice lace outfits on the mix.

“But it’s too much…” She cleared her throat, the simple one-night stand seemed to be more complicated than simple.

“You keep them, I insist.” His confidence seemed to tell her that he won’t take no for an answer, “And you seem to be the type to bring your clothes back with you… well, while they are still drying… Can I be so bold to ask you out? You did say you’re not from Gotham, right?”

Raven looked at him confused and startled. 

“If you insist that it’s too much, how about I ask for you to let me tour you around the city as payment?” He smiled at her mischievously and she couldn’t help but playfully roll her eyes at him.

“You and I both know that is utter pennies in comparison to the amount you must have spent on my wardrobe. The clothes you bought me, “Raven pointed at his bedroom door, “Could literally cloth me for two weeks– a month if I mix and match them well.”

Damian merely sheepishly shrugged his shoulders and the sight was rather endearing.

Raven found herself biting her lower lip, “Things that happen in Gotham, I suppose stay in Gotham.” His green eyes steadily gaze at her lips. “I guess… if you insist, then paying you back for the clothes with you touring me in Gotham is fair.”

He smiled at her and she was mesmerized by his beauty.

“Great.” His sparkly white and perfectly straight teeth flashed at her, making Raven recall that his man was very different from her. He put on the hat, shades and jacket. “I hope you don’t mind if I look like this, if you haven’t noticed, I am kind of a big-shot, these are just safety precautions.”

Raven laughed as she glanced down on the floor with a little shake of her head, “Oh, I think I have noticed self-proclaimed big-shot.”

Damian’s smile widened at her playful tone.

“Would this humble, big-shot tell me who he is?” She ventured again and he shook his head but his eyes still sparkling in admiration and laughter at her. “Then I guess I will never know how big is big.” Raven shrugged.

“Well then, Raven–”

“Roth.” She added and he smiled.

“Raven Roth.” The smile on his lips was contagious and the way he called her name felt warm. “Would you give me the honors of showing you what greatness Gotham has to offer?”

“Yes, I’d love that, Damian.” She smiled back.

 ~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 The two returned to the apartment rather late, and the two were laughing, Raven entering the space first and Damian followed behind her.

Damian couldn’t help but note that Raven entered his penthouse as if she had been living there for a while now. And in all honesty, seeing her like that felt right.

“Thank you for today, I had so much fun.” Raven turned around staring at the man before her. He was such a mystery and he was removing his little disguise.

“It was so nice meeting you. I had a wonderful day.” Raven spoke in such a dreamy manner and Damian couldn’t help but lick his lips.

“Why don’t you take a shower?” She was startled by his offer but ultimately nodded.

Raven removed her combat boots and placed them at his hidden shoe rack that he had shown her earlier before they left. She stole a glance at him as she retreated back into his bedroom and he nodded. 

It felt right for her to be in his space, which was a rather unusual thing for him.

Raven looked back with flushed cheeks, his bedroom door open and a hand on his doorsill, “Hey, Damian?”

“Uh, Yeah?” He replied, stopping midway from taking off his shoes.

“Would you like to join me in the shower?” She barely uttered and he looked like he was punched suddenly. The shoe that he was holding fell on the floor. “Oh, uhm… if you don’t want to–”

“No, I want to!” He cut her off quickly, his eyes wide as he approached her. He still had one shoe on his foot and he removed that as he made his way to her. He was normally a very neat and kept person, but sometimes– being unorganized is fine too.

Damian rushed to her side, placing a hand by her hand on the doorsill, “Are you sure?” 

Raven deeply inhaled and his scent filled her lungs, he was so close, and she wanted him, she wanted to kiss him. Maybe sometimes being unreserved is fine too.

Raven has been doing things she normally wouldn’t do since she went to Gotham, so why stop now?

She stood on her tippy toes, placed her fingers on his strong jawline and kissed him. “Yes, I am sure.” 

And Damian kissed her back passionately. 

“I’ve never tried doing it in the shower.” He chuckled at her confession when he was busy kissing her neck, an odd thing to say for a first timer. 

Of course, she hasn’t tried shower sex before, she didn’t even try intercourse before him. But it made Damian’s heart flare up at the thought that she wanted to have another milestone with him, of all people she wanted him.

“Then, I will make it special.” He said as he went closer to her. He reached for her hand and held it gently. His lips found hers again and he lifted her up easily once more, this time his destination was his bathroom.

 ~.~.~.~.~.~.

Author’s Notes:

This was a genuine struggle to make. This is also supposed to be my Damirae Week 2020 week prompt (First and Last)….so I will still tag that as is, but man this fic, I almost deleted it.

Man. This has been stuck in WIP Graveyard for like 1-2 years, and I decided to just post it.

This is supposed to be a 3-parter. All I have made is this sadly. Maybe you guys will see an update, or maybe not. idk.

I hope you guys like it, and I will try and write the continuation, but only time will tell.

Initially, I only wanted to post this until I finished all the three parts, but this was stuck in my WIP for too long and part 2 & 3 have not even one word in it… so now I have decided to just post it.

Hope you guys like it.

I genuinely have mixed feelings, I love this, but it also gave me quite the negative emotions for this piece. Which I shall just contain and forget.

Reciprocate AU

Original:

Reciprocate I: Raven

Reciprocate II: Damian

Reciprocate III: The After *

2021 version:

Reciprocate I: Raven

Reciprocate II: Damian

Reciprocate III: The After *

*Part 3 is the same file.

Author’s Little Summary:

What if you have pined for someone for nine whole years. And just when you are about to give up, they finally looked your way. 

But what if it is also just the beginning of the end?

I guess this is that kind of story. A long pining romance filled with pain and tears.

Author’s Notes: 

I’d like to say, that I am grateful to be safe from the typhoon that passed by the Philippines a few days ago. I’d like to ask whoever is reading this to please pray and hope for the best for everyone who was hit by this destruction.

~.~.~.~.~.~.


I have lived and stayed at the same place for so many years.

This was my home. 

Home had red skies with red orange liquid streaming way down below me. The towers of dark brown rocks stretched to the horizons. My spot in this place was at the top of one of those big mountain rocks. 


Whenever I wake up, the scenery is always the same, nothing ever changes in my world, my home.

I had awoken from a long slumber and I was greeted with the same view when I had fallen asleep. Nothing ever changes here and I have come to enjoy this fact.

Red skies that stretched for miles and bright molten liquid streaming down below. Big giant towers of rocks erected around me and the temperature was as it always had been, hot– burning hot.

This didn’t bother me though as this had always been home. I was simply used to it. The same thing could be said about the other residents here. 

They were similar, no– they genuinely looked the same. White hair with black horns, yellow eyes, red skin and the same piece of clothing that oddly covered their legs. 

They too didn’t seem to mind the scorching heat.

And so, I returned to my slumber, because nothing ever changes in my home. I would simply wake every now and then to be greeted by the same environment I love: the red skies, the towers of rocks, the red liquid and the residents. And home was very warm.

And then one day, I felt something heavy lean against me, and so I was undoubtedly stirred awake. No one ever bothered me, and so I was confused as to why anyone would dare to now.

Something was gently splattering on me, later on, I would find out it was called tears.

Fully awake now, I realized that you were different from the other residents here.

You had black hair that stopped way past your chin, violet eyes and pale skin. So very different indeed from the residents here; where their skin was mostly left bare, yours was clad in more fabric than I have ever seen them wear. 

You were greatly smaller than them in terms of structure– very different indeed.

You said it was scary here.

You said you hated it here.

You said: that after all you’ve done, you deserved to be in hell.

I did not get it– was hell bad?

But this was my home, and my heart ached when you said such things about it.

Was hell really that bad?

I understood that you hated this place so much. It felt like your voice was dripping with hatred.

I decided, I will return to sleep instead. I didn’t want you to ruin my view of my beloved home. Perhaps when I wake up again, you who were greatly different from the constant that I have known, will leave too. 

When I wake again you will be gone and I can just think of you as an odd dream. So very odd to dream about someone like you, since you were the first you I had ever seen.

But you often came to visit me and at first it brought me great distress. You were not a dream, a figment of my imagination. I truly wished you were– but I guess it wouldn’t make sense to have thought of you so vividly when you were the first you I had seen. 

I never thought it was possible to have clothes the same shade as the hair of the resident’s here. This was such an interesting thought to have, now that I have realized this peculiarity.

Well, I guess you are now a resident here too. The resident anomaly.

You always wept over the same things. 

How much you hated it here.

How scary it was.

How scary your father was.

How scary your brothers were– in the very least this information was new. The residents here, who all looked like one another, were your brothers. 

Brothers, I wonder if I had any.

But why didn’t you look anything like them?

Why did you have black hair? Why are you wearing more clothes than them? Why is your stature smaller?

These were questions I had no answers to.

Eventually your grievances will start to decrease but the damage is already done, your words have already been planted in me and swayed me. But at this moment, this is something I have not realized yet.

Perhaps my home really was just as awful as you had told me. I just hadn’t realized it because this was home for way too long.

The sky was a ugly and unnatural color. The temperature was more than just too hot, and the red liquid beneath was just contributing to the unbearable heat. The same rock formations that stretched for miles in all directions was very annoying too.

These were things I came to feel about because of you.

You talked about a place you loved dearly that you had brought to its own doom.

And listening to you, I too started to believe: that maybe you did deserve to be in hell.

I wanted to see the world you claimed you brought to its own demise. I wanted to see how beautiful it was for you to call my home ugly and dreadful– and deserving for someone who had brought death to an entire planet. 

You made me want to see more than what I have always been happy with– my home that you called hell.

An existence that used to bring me agony then became annoying which eventually became endearing– you became so very endearing to me. I didn’t know when it happened, but it did, and with that fondness that grew it became a root of frustration for me too.

That should have been a sign that you, who was different, would bring another unexpected variable to my once unchanging life. That my world would be changed again. 

That I would be changed. 

It was such a clear sign, I should have known better. At this point it is clear that you are a catalyst for change.

I remember that day. You came running to me, you who looked so determined. I wondered why, what could possibly make you look so strong and  brave. I wondered what you could possibly do to make such an expression, your motivation and drive.

And then you broke me.

At least, there was another unexpected outcome from you breaking me. I finally saw how similar you are to your brothers. And yet, still, so greatly different. 

Their bodies looked so stiff and hard, and yet you, even with red skin, and two sets of yellow eyes, retained the same black hair I’ve always known you by, still looked soft and fragile with the curves your brothers did not possess. Even with your black horns, I could not fully say you and your brothers were the same.

And yet, you and them are similar enough.

You hated them, you said they were cruel– your brothers and father. Weren’t you the same?

I didn’t want to be broken. I was full, and now I was just– not even a significant fraction of what I used to be. You broke me without a second thought and placed so much anger and hatred in me.

You called it Trigon.

I was reduced to pieces. I, who had lived here for centuries. 

I, who lived under the same red sky, the same towering mountain, above the same orange liquid for centuries. 

I, who had asked for nothing and received peace and quiet in return, on the spot I have always been–was broken by a variable Trigon called: Little Girl.

You placed me on the center of your face between what you called brows and there I stayed. 

I wondered for how long would I stay against your skin, since now I have come to know that there is nothing but impermanence for me now.

Since your arrival it seems that all I have for my future is momentariness. Something foreign to me has now become the only thing I should expect because of you.

You, the harbinger of nothing but fleeting moments. And me, the one forced to deal with the repercussions you bring.

Soon, I found out that Trigon was who you had said was scary and was your father.

I wondered if all father’s made their daughters feel that way.

That was what he called you: daughter.

You ungrateful daughter, I will make you pay for this treachery, were words I often heard. The anger in his words would seep into me slowly, this at least I could foresee.

After all, I did get swayed by your words about my beloved home and you only visited me a little too often than I would have liked. But this time you have placed your father inside of me, I foresee that I will be influenced even faster by your father than your presence that kept coming to me that time I was still whole.

After you trapped Trigon inside of me, you abandoned my home, abandoned your brothers and you brought me with you to a different world.

And yet again, another change.

I had no say on the matter, after all I was forever stuck on your forehead. I wondered if I would forever be housing Trigon within me too.

But this place was so, so, different from my home. I thought that hell was beautiful, but I was wrong, this place you called Earth was even more beautiful.

I came to like it here.

Earth.

You met people that looked like you, not with your red skin when you were entrapping your father inside of me, since it is only your brothers who had such a skin colour, but that of your pale skin but they had different shades and tones, and even that was so beautiful.

Everything was so new.

They asked for your name, and I realized, I never knew your name after all these years. Or I hadn’t paid attention, it might have shown how little I actually cared for you.

Raven, was your simple response. After how many years together, I now know your name.

A name. I wonder if I had one.

For the first time, this change was something I really loved more than my home that you called hell. Living in this place, you and the ones that look like you, called Earth.

The water here was different, it was like an accumulation of your tears. It was blue and vast and had many shapes. The ground here had so many living creatures, from what you called insects to plants to animals– to you, different looking creatures that almost looked like you– humans, that’s what they are.

I loved it here so much, but the appreciation for the new was difficult with your father constantly yelling: You ungrateful daughter!

I ignore it as best as I can because I wanted to love this unique place that could not compare to home. But still, I missed the red sky and what you called lava. 

But I was now stuck to you, where you are is where I will be. So I pushed your father’s angry and hateful words away. I pushed the longing for my beloved home away too. And I tried my best to live and love the place you have brought me to instead.

This majestic place you called Earth.

And then you fell in love. 

Love.

What a weird feeling it was. What a weird thing to feel for someone that looked like you– almost like you.

Green eyes, black hair, tan skin that was toned.

A toned body– that was what your brothers had, oddly, I missed them. Their unchanging presence from the years I have lived with them. I really missed them.

It was odd to love what you called a person. You do love him a lot. And it was even more odd that I could feel your love for him. 

You loved his smile, this man with green eyes and black hair. I, too, came to be very fond of him.

You called him Damian.

And he called you, Beloved.

Did you have many names? Why are you called Raven and Beloved? 

Do I have multiple names too? 

But at this point, I was already struggling so much. It was so difficult not to be affected by your father’s presence inside of me.

I have come to loathe you.

You ungrateful daughter, trapping me in this stone, you will regret it!  I will kill him! 

Is that my name? Stone

But I didn’t ask to be shattered into many pieces either. Trigon always complained about the injustice, the betrayal, and the pay back he will surely give you, Raven. But no one asked me if I wanted to house such darkness, negativity, pain, loathing and anger.

No one asked me.

And so, that was how I came to loathe you too, exactly the way your father felt about you, maybe because he has been in me for way too long.

You did not ask me if I wanted to be broken and hold your father within me. You did not ask me if I wanted to leave my beautiful, beautiful home. You did not ask me if I was feeling alright.

But then, I saw you smile from a wall that reflected you and Damian. I heard what people called laughter from you, and I saw myself against your head. 

I was red. Red. It was the color of my home– I was the color of my home– hell.

I couldn’t bring myself to loathe you. Not like this, not because of your father– especially not when I had finally seen and heard you so… happy. Not when I can feel that happiness too.

You gave me happiness and love, just as much as Trigon gave me anger and hate.

I didn’t want to hate you, Raven, not when Damian made you so happy. Not when I also shared and relished the happiness you were feeling. And yet, the same could be said about your father’s effect on me– I shared and relished his anger on you too.

The days blurred as I struggled to balance myself between love and hate, anger and happiness. And then you placed a vast darkness around your father– cutting him off from the world you are currently living in.

You did this because you were hiding what you and Damian do when you two are alone. I, however, was not immune to Trigon’s anger, in fact, it has also become mine. I, too, was not immune to you numbing your father out from what you do and what you see because I wasn’t the one inside the stone

I saw and heard what you and Damian do. And I felt the love you two had for one another.

You and Damian seemed happy, in the very least, and that alone anchored me to at least try and fight the pure rage inside of me that was always boiling and on certain days, boiling so much I can’t help but get confused in the loathing that wasn’t mine in the first place.

I hated you, Raven, but also didn’t want to.

You brat! Give me back my sight!

Your father would yell when you pull such a stunt. He would yell for you to return his sight back, to let him hear and see and know exactly what you are doing. But you won’t and for those times when you do such a thing, you do not feel him. But I still do. And amidst this, the warmth you have for Damian, and his warmth towards you was a stark difference to the boiling heat inside of me due to your father.

This too would help anchor me.

You cannot always keep your father in the dark because it would be too straining for you, but I know you are very capable, Raven.

Your life on Earth has also made me realize the importance of life. It made me understand why you hated your father. Although, I admit in my part, it took a little too long for me to comprehend. 

You have to understand, you have placed Trigon inside of me.

The drive you, your boyfriend and peers have to protect life made me understand that life had a value. And yet, why was I not part of that equation?

Was I not life? Is my life too insignificant to be considered?

It seemed that your father’s effect on me has run too deep. I seem to keep going back to the same thing, a hatred towards you that cannot be fully resolved. I had foreseen this, I shouldn’t be so surprised.

Your father will always be angry at you and would seek release from his confinement, and I would be swayed by his anger and think of it as mine. And then I would recall the peace and tranquility I had in my home that I missed for so long now but chose to ignore, and then after that, I would be filled with guilt. 

Because, after all, how could I hate you?

You too had not asked for this. You too are suffering because of your father. 

But at least you were happy, in the arms of a man with green eyes, who had at least contributed to this warmth I came to love too.

I decided that perhaps, it is better to slumber again and never wake. Perhaps it is better to be strong enough to hold onto Trigon and let you live your life. At least if I go back to sleep, I can still see my home. 

Still see and live through a time that has long passed.

I used to live a quiet life, in a world where the sky was red and the water was burning hot, which now I know is called lava.

But it was home and I loved it.

The beings that lived there in that hot climate were all men with red skin, white hair with black horns and yellow eyes. And oh how oddly they were clad.

And then she came.

Broke me to many pieces and that alone gave me the understanding of life.

I hope for the best for you and him– Damian. I hope I will not shatter in even little more pieces so that your father will forever be inside of me, so that, in the very least, you get to live a peaceful life. 

This, I truly want for you.

Despite the fact that I did not ask to be broken and be brought here, I truly do love what you have come to love. 

And for you to live a peaceful life, I shall fall into the deepest slumber I have ever gone into, and never wake. In this, I can guarantee that I would not be swayed by your father’s aggravations and feel myself weaken because of it. In this, I can secure your happiness. 

I will just be a stone. 

As I was and always had been a stone.

As I fell into my slumber, I saw the red sky and I recalled I used to be bigger than what I was now. The residents here looked so similar. And it was always so very warm.

I will get out of here Raven! You will regret this!

No, you won’t get out of here Trigon. I will be your prison for all eternity if it has to be. And with that I felt my outer layer harden even more and my final consciousness dissipates. 

Everyone called me a stone.

If a stone was to be cold and hard, you were probably the same. After all, you did not think twice when you thought of breaking me Raven.

Author’s Notes:

This could potentially tie up to an ALTERNATEofRECIPROCATE AU.

Also loosely related to other Lazarus Pit AUs:

Lazarus Pit: The Demon Lost His Head

Lazarus Pit: The Demon Lost Her Heart


~.~.~.~.~.~


A shadow came rushing and stumbling down the cavern with another figure in their arms. When the flickers of the fire reached the two figures it was then clear who had arrived.

Damian Wayne- or Al Ghul, whatever it is he carried as his last name, looked frightened for his life. He had scratches and flesh wounds around his body, blood trickling down his forehead. But it was the woman in white robes that was stained with blood and dirt in his arms that looked far worse than him. In fact, she looked a tinge blue and she was holding onto her stomach trying to stop the bleeding from a wound there, but it clearly wasn’t working as she was dripping blood on their tracks.

She coughed blood as she tried to talk, Damian looked down at the woman. Her black bob hair was wet from her sweat mixed with blood.

“Please, Raven, don’t try to talk.” Came Damian’s shaky voice as he continued to stumble as he carried her. “We’re almost there.” His eyes locked at the green liquid that was too many paces too far from them, it might as well have been a mile. But he had brought her here, he was so close.

“Please just hold on.” His tone was begging, desperate.

Raven tried to pick herself up, pull herself by his shoulder, and he froze for a second as he looked at her with wide eyes.

“N-no, we-we don’t know how it will affect me.” She struggled as she tried to get out of his hold. His eyes darkened as he firmly held her in place, he looked ahead at the goal clearly in front of him.

He continued to walk, “I don’t care.” His paces were heavy as he was extremely weak, but he would not lose her, not when the Lazarus Pit could help her. Not when it was clearly in front of them.

“Da-damian.” She begged and then coughed blood.

“Stop talking.” His always firm voice was weak and begging, scared and hurt and so very afraid of losing her. He was afraid his name would be the last words she said, and barely with any strength. She never spoke his name so weakly until now and this fact alone made his heart ache deeply.

“Almost there.” He mumbled more to himself than to Raven. He had been mumbling encouraging words to himself, it was all he could do to keep himself sane.

“We don’t know how this will affect me or the pit.” She begged as the tears fell from her eyes and she clenched his chest.

“I don’t fucking care!” He yelled; the pain he didn’t want to manifest came as hot streaks of water from his eyes down to his cheeks.

He will not lose her, not when that vile pit existed. He continued to walk with a reignited desire to save her. The only goal in his mind, the only option, whatever comes after he would face head on as long as she was breathing and alive.

“Damian.” Raven wept but he could not be stopped. He will use the pit to save her from this fatal wound, from death’s door.

Raven wanted to call out his name again, but found that she was growing weaker, and saying his name only hurt in more ways than one. So she endured as tears fell down her cheeks too.

Who would have thought that she would see Damian cry like this? She never thought she’d see him this broken because of her.

Raven hurled and blood came out of her mouth as she coughed. Damian could only squeeze her in his arms. Almost there was the thought that made him power through the pain.

Raven’s eyes were shut as she tried to cough the blood out of her throat and willed herself to make it till he placed her into the pit. At the very least, she should try and make herself conscious till then. She didn’t want him to put her into the pit, but he wanted to– he had to, she felt his desperation as if it was hers. And so she will let him, it wasn’t like she had the strength to fight him anyways.

“Raven.” He stared at her for a second as they stood before the pit.

“I love you.” She said in reply to him calling her name as he walked into the pit and he held her closely to his chest and submerged her into the waters.

“I love you.” She whispered again as a tear slipped from her eye before her face was fully submerged. But he never said the words back, even when she repeated them.

Damian concluded that his wounds didn’t matter, they were nothing but flesh wounds and so he stepped out of the pit and waited for her on the side. She would need him in case she turned insane because of the pit’s after effects.

And so, Damian waited, in the quiet cave with flickering torchlights for the woman he loved that was dying to be fully revitalized.

But the wait was agonizing and longer than he expected. He then became too worried; he couldn’t look at the pit that had no signs of life so he turned his back on it.

Why was it not working? Was it because of the pits’ origins? Raven did warn him– they didn’t know how it would affect her.

Damian felt helpless kneeling on the floor, his back against the pit and his palms on the ground as his eyes burned due to the tears.

He couldn’t be without her. This had to work. He found himself praying to whatever entity that would hear him to– at least make it work.

Please.

But the wait continued on and the quiet cavern was now filled with a sickening silence that Damian hated more as the minutes passed.

He didn’t know how long he waited but enough time passed that he finally felt hopeless and resigned.

The Lazarus Pit probably couldn’t cure her. He wasn’t even able to tell her that he loved her, tears fell from his eyes and it did not stop. He didn’t want to say them because he thought he still had the chance once the pit healed her.

Damian squeezed his eyes and sobbed.

Raven was gone.

“Damian?” Hearing Raven’s careful voice was indescribable. Damian gasped at the sound and turned to look at her, the surprise in his face disappeared and quickly matched the confusion she had.

Raven stood in an empty pit. The vile green liquid he knew as the Lazarus Pit was gone.

“Damian?” She called out again, this time her voice tinged with fear and he too was frightened. Raven coughed and that made him rush to her side. Damian slid down the pit even more scared than a moment ago.

Damian’s shaking fingers cupped her cheek and his other hand wiped her hair off her face. He was so frightened that the pit really didn’t work, but was cruel enough to give them this moment.

Raven continued to cough. The tears streaming down his face felt nonexistent. He was so terrified.

What if the coughing was the side effect of the pit working?

What if at the next second she will just fall and turn into a lifeless corpse?

Raven coughed again as she tried to pull away and Damian’s hand froze as he saw the familiar green liquid trickle down the corner of her lips.

Was it really just a cruel trick the Lazarus Pit was giving the couple, like a cruel last miracle to haunt him after?

“Damian?” Raven called his name again, but this time it was as weak as when she had called him moments before she entered the Lazarus Pit.

Raven’s knees gave in and she fell towards him and he frantically caught her but fell on his knees too.

“No, no…” The son of Batman heard his desperate cry. The tears on his face felt searingly hot once again.

But Raven, his beloved Raven, continued to cough green liquid from her pale lips. He propped her up with his knee and cradled her.

“No…” His voice was so soft and in pain that anyone who would have witnessed such a sight would wonder if he really was the heir of the Demon’s Head.

In Raven’s weakened state she attempted to lift her hand. Damian felt the movement and looked at her shaking hand that was midway towards him. He captured that hand and let it rest against his cheek. He couldn’t let her suffer anymore.

His green eyes stared at her ashen face.

There were no words that could be said now, they were both clearly in pain.

Raven’s eyes fluttered and Damian’s heart squeezed inside his chest.

No, he didn’t want her to close her eyes. Before his objections could be said, Raven’s eyes had closed.

Her breath soon followed and came to a stop.

And he heard his sharp inhale pierce through his ears as it bounced around him within the cavern.

His body automatically crouched over her head as he cradled her lifeless corpse. He found that his voice was hoarse. He wondered if he had been screaming in sorrow when she didn’t emerge instantly from the pit. Or maybe when he approached her in the empty pit, perhaps he was screaming.

Or maybe it was now. The ‘I Love You’, the ‘Don’t leave me’ and ‘This can’t be happening’ were not registering in his head. The phrases he kept repeating despite his hoarse throat and aching heart.

At one point, Damian just knew that he couldn’t find his voice and strength to vocally scream his pain anymore.

Raven was really gone. The pit was gone and she wasn’t even saved. Her body was cold and so was the space inside the cavern, it was so terribly cold. In fact, Damian could feel the chilliness inside his body too.

The useless piece of liquid didn’t even bring her back. The liquid disappeared but didn’t even return anything to him.

Damian’s sorrow was turning into anger and then suddenly a sharp inhale from lips that wasn’t his resonated through the empty cave and more importantly his ears.

He gasped as he looked down and stared at the lips of his beautiful lover.

Raven was gasping for air like she was a fish out of water, violet eyes open. Damian’s green eyes were wide as he saw green lines all over her face. He studied her briefly and found that it was her veins all over her body that were protruding and glowing a familiar shade of green– the Lazarus Pit’s shade. Aside from green veins there were similar green lines reaching into her eyes and he felt her body heat up.

She gasped loudly again and then silence. The green lines in Raven’s eyes disappeared along with her green veins as a faint greenish glow surrounded her entirety.

Then Raven became slack again.

Damian was left confused. He couldn’t hear her breathing for at least five seconds and then– soft even breathing.

Raven’s eyes opened and it revealed the same green as the Lazarus Pit instead of her usual violet hue. Damian was very perplexed and then she blinked and her green eyes were gone. Damian was now staring at the familiar violet shade that he knows and loves.

“Hello.” She sat up studying him, a small sly smile on her lips. It was like she wasn’t injured or in pain a few seconds prior, her tone was calm and collected. It somehow eased the agitation Damian was fighting within himself.

Did he want to know what happened?

Did he want to know the consequences of his actions?

Did it really matter?

Damian cupped both her cheeks and steadily held it in place as he studied her new found vitality. She smiled back at him with a tint of mischievousness and held his face in her hands by his jaws.

He had so many questions.

“I feel– very much alive.” Raven said with a sinister smile on her lips.

He should be afraid. But Damian was the son of Batman, a trained assassin who is the son of Talia Al Ghul and grandson of Ra’s Al Ghul, afraid was only a moment he felt when he thought he had lost her.

When he thought he lost his beloved Raven?

Clearly, she was alive perhaps altered a little, but alive and that was all that mattered.

Damian leaned his forehead against hers as he exhaled, his eyes locked on her eyes. With the same smile on her lips, she inhaled his breath.

It was clear that his future is now altered too.

How can he be a hero when villains would and could take everything from him? They had already tried taking Raven away from him permanently.

He often wondered why he was holding back when he had the Lazarus Pit and could save the love of his life at any time. If needed, Damian could use the pit to resurrect her. He didn’t imagine that he’d have to use the Pit to actually save his girlfriend that could heal virtually any wounds– except the one they were faced with that night. But now, there was no reassurance that he could use the pit if anything deadly was to happen to her.

Damian might have put her into the green waters of the pit as a hero but he emerged from this incident as a different man. He noticed the darkness in Raven’s eyes and he brushed the corner of her eyes gently.

He could not be Damian Wayne, not when he used the pit like this. The League of Assassin’s would not allow it anyways. He would also need the League’s resources and data about the pit now that the situation has become like this. Now that they were on an empty Lazarus Pit. He’d also have to pay the price for this.

He can clearly see that Raven was changed because of the pit. He wondered how the pit changed his lover.

“I’m still the same.” Raven replied in a steady manner as if she had read his mind, but there on her lips was still a sinister smile.

He knew she wasn’t the same.

“I love you.” He brushed her nose with his. Whatever has transpired here, he will stick by that decision. He decided that it is the best decision to become the next Demon’s head after all.

They were both changed that day.

The decision to become the next Demon’s Head proved to be the right thing to do in the coming days after Raven was revived.

Raven was the same for the most part, however, when she bled, she bled green liquid. The color of the Lazarus Pit and her wounds would instantly heal without using her magic to heal.

It didn’t take long for them to find out that all the Lazarus Pits were now nothing but empty pits.

She did warn him that they didn’t know how it would affect her or the pit. However, who would have thought that it would affect the pit itself in this way?

Raven was also more attuned to her demonic side and took pride and joy in extracting information for the League with whatever skill or method she has in her disposal. In a simple word: torture, she had come to marvel at such a dark thing.

Raven didn’t even affiliate herself as a hero anymore, she would kill without a second thought. She wouldn’t allow anyone who could possibly bring Damian’s demise to be alive. But her love for Damian was the same, be it him as a Wayne, an Al Ghul, a Titan– she still loved him the same.

The same thing could be said about Damian’s feelings for Raven. Maybe at first, he felt trepidation over her change but ultimately accepted them because it was simply the price that came in exchange for her life.

Since the fact that there is no more working Lazarus Pit, Damian could understand her willingness to kill. Without the pit, if he was heavily injured, he could not be healed, in fact he cannot prolong his life like what his grandfather did.

But Raven is the Daughter of Trigon, she will surely find a way to preserve her lover for as long as she lives. After all, the two would spare no expense for their partner.

The empty pits in multiple places that used to house green liquid that could heal and revive the dead is a clear proof of the kinds of lengths they were willing to go for one another.

Damian will live as long as Raven would, being Trigon’s daughter had its merits after all.

THE END.


~.~.~.~.~.~.

Author’s Notes:


This is actually not how I initially wanted to make this AU. I only realized AFTER I finished it.
With that said, I plan to make the right one, entitled: Eternity (that’s the plan at least)
Details would be different from this, if you are interested keep posted on my profile or something.

Hope you guys enjoyed this work!

Reciprocate III: The After

Reciprocate[ 1: Raven ,2 : Damian

Reciprocate 2021 Version[1: Raven,2: Damian]

~.~.~.~.~.

It took two years and almost a half for Raven to finally wake up from her coma. When she woke up her first reaction was to freak out. She jumped off her bed thinking that she had to go somewhere. 

 But Raven didn’t recall where she ought to go and what it was she had to do. 

 She knocked over a vase of flowers when her feet gave way and she was confused  as to why her legs felt like jelly. 

 She knew however that she had to check her surroundings and her current state. She was fortunate enough to not have injured herself with the shards of porcelain on the floor. She held onto her bed weakly, knowing that she had to go somewhere– but where?

“Raven!” A man had called out as he burst into the room banging the door loudly. She looked up at him with no recognition but the name he uttered was familiar to Raven however she couldn’t figure out why. 

The tone in his voice was filled with so much worry that she could not help but feel anxious too.

She observed him quickly scan the room until his eyes finally met hers. She was mesmerized by his green eyes and a strong sense of familiarity hit her. 

His uneasy state was greatly calmed when he saw her. When he sighed, she did too, and she shared the relief he felt too. He slowly approached her with a gentle expression as she remained on her spot, greatly leaning on her bed for support.

“Raven.” He whispered when he was two feet away and she realized that she was Raven– that was why the name was familiar. 

It was her name.

He picked her up and carried her in his arms and even though she did not know him, she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was at peace in his embrace– in his presence, she felt safe. And she did not make a fuss even when she didn’t know the identity of this man.

The strong sense of need then engulfed her, there was a name at the tip of her tongue that she felt she had to call out.

She struggled to form the word and then, “Damian.” She whispered as she squeezed him and sighed in relief. He had not corrected her so he must be Damian and she felt at peace knowing this.

She rested her forehead on his shoulder, as he carried her back to her bed. He set her down gently as he pulled away. She grabbed his right hand as she sat up as she studied their hands.

“It feels so perfect.” She gently told him, and Damian was startled by her words. A smile slowly formed on his lips and he found himself chuckling. And she found herself enamored by his soft laughter as a faint flutter settled in her chest. A strong sense of knowing came to her: that this man rarely smiled or laughed.

“I’ve been here almost every day, holding your hand. Maybe your hand molded into mine—” He shook his head in disbelief. “Or maybe the other way around.” Hearing his words ignited her anxiousness. 

What did that mean? How long has she been unconscious? And more importantly, who was he to her?

It occurred to her that there was nothing but blankness in her mind. These questions she couldn’t answer. She didn’t even know anything about herself. 

Why couldn’t she remember anything about anything?

Even so, Raven knew she had to at least try and stay calm.

“I—my memory is kind of fuzzy,” Raven said as she laid back in bed as she tried to calm her nerves simultaneously, but the realization that she didn’t recall anything bothered her. However, this man, named Damian, gave her a calmness that was indescribable. 

She knew him somehow. She trusted him without a doubt, even when she wasn’t sure of her name a moment ago– she knew she could trust him.

“But I know you, I remember you.” Raven continued on as she connected the dots that were vaguely on her mind. “I heard you so often, it became so scary when you weren’t there.” She knew him, she finally recalled, his voice that haunted her and the fear she felt when he said he would let her go. 

She did not want him to let her go, she recalled her dread and she clenched his hand. 

Aside from him, she was uncertain about everything else, and she was afraid to know the reasons and the hows or what, but she found herself drifting into sleep. 

Raven wanted to fight the drowsiness because she was so aware that she had just woken up, but there was a part of her that wanted to go back to sleep. If she woke up and he wasn’t there at least she can pretend that this encounter was just a dream, at least then it would hurt less. She held his hand tightly until she fully fell into slumber, to which her grip finally loosened.

Damian took the opportunity of Raven falling asleep to call the doctors and scientists to inform them of her recent development.

When Raven awoke again, she was afraid, even more than when she had awoken earlier that day. She was afraid that the one she called Damian would have really left her like he had said before. Those words that haunted her dreams for who knew how long she was asleep.

“I have decided. I am moving on– I am letting you go.” Those were the words that kept ringing in her head. The fear that came felt like an assault on her soul. It was unwelcomed and it hurt, but she did not know where to find solace.

When the thought of Damian not being there with her crossed her mind, the fear felt like it was about to burst out of her. Even Raven, with her non-existent memory, could tell that her fear was more than just hearing him tell her that he can’t wait for her any longer. It was like she couldn’t breathe even though the air was just there. She could feel that the fear was very deeply rooted into her and she wondered why it is so, why or what could have caused this suffocating feeling.  

What caused this fear to be this strong that it felt like he was life itself?

She jolted up on her bed, ready to jump out to look for him, but then she saw Damian and a tear slipped down her right cheek as a loud exhale escaped her lips. She found herself breathing again, as if the fear of losing him never attacked her in the first place.

It was like air was given back to her lungs, and life was given meaning.

Damian was talking to a doctor and a scientist, but to Raven she thought that he was talking to two doctors in a lab coat. Seeing strangers made her nervous. She started to breathe heavily and with Damian’s sharp hearing, he turned to her instantly and with long strides was already by her side.

“I’m right here.” He told her as he touched her shaking hand and she grabbed his hand with strength she didn’t know she possessed.

“Who are they? What do they want?” She asked giving him a death grip. Damian was surprised by her reaction and tried to soothe her in a gentle tone.

“Raven,” He looked at the doctor and scientist. “They are the head of their department that helped me keep you safe.” He continued on but he noticed the confused look she had on her face when he said head of their departments. 

Raven opened her lips but Damian cut her off, “It’s best if I don’t explain to you your medical history, it would only cause you stress.” He cupped her cheek and caressed her face gently, wiping the stray tear away.

“I– I understand.” She replied as she glanced at the two people in their lab coats. They looked at her like she was some kind of miracle but mostly like a specimen. It was another question added to her list: Why did they look at her like that?

“You two may leave, I will contact you later.” Damian ordered in a soft manner as he glanced at the two in lab coats. His tone was controlled to not freak Raven out. 

The pair look at one another for a moment and then, “We understand.” One said and they left quietly.

“See, those people are completely harmless.” Damian said, turning around to look at Raven like coaxing a child, but he was surprised to see her teary eyes. He couldn’t help but suck his bottom lip inside his mouth as he tried to look as neutral as he could, but he was suddenly wrapped in her embrace, her small back shaking. 

“Everything is fine.” He told her as he slowly wrapped his arms around her. Raven suddenly burst into sobs.

“I thought you were gone!” She wept, hugging him as tightly as she could in terror as she caved in. Hearing this, Damian felt his heart ache and the next second he was convincing himself not to keep his hopes up.

“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” He comforted her in a low voice and she froze. She pulled away to look at him, staring directly into his green eyes as if seeing right through him.

“You said that too, I heard you. But– but–” A tear slipped down her eyes as she blinked. “You then said you were going to leave me.” The words barely got out of her mouth, as her lower lip quivered. Raven found that she could not hug him again, instead she buried her face into her hands as she wept. “You promised.”

He was frozen hearing this, he heard her? How long had she heard him? Did she hear everything?

“I–” He shakily said but Raven cut him off.

“Don’t lie to me!” She glanced up quickly at him and then sobbed back into her hands.

“No. I wasn’t going to lie.” He said and she stopped crying and looked up at him with doubtful eyes. He cupped her face in a solemn expression. “I just– I couldn’t see you like that anymore.” 

She wondered if he was lying, and he wondered the same too. Raven silently gave him another hug as she silently cried. After minutes passed, Raven finally stopped crying, but he continued to hold her for a few more minutes before pulling away.

“You need to gather strength, you need to eat a lot, and train your legs.” He told her in his best soothing voice while wiping away her tears and caressing her face. He wondered if this would be the first and only time he could hold her and touch her in such a manner. 

She nodded profusely in response. “Okay.” She agreed instantly.

“Okay,” He said as he stood up and she looked at him with slight fear. “I’m going to get a damp washcloth to put over your eyes.” He said in the same tone he had been using this whole time– gentle, tender, caring and perhaps even loving.

“Alright.” She said with a small nod and pressed lips as she slowly lay down in bed. He nodded at her and slowly left the room. She kept her eyes on him until he was out of sight and kept her gaze by the door waiting for his return. She patiently waited even though her anxiousness was growing louder as his absence grew longer. 

When Damian finally returned she sighed at the instance she saw him. He had a bowl with water and a face towel inside soaking in the water.

A thought crossed her mind, Raven felt like she was the cloth and Damian was the water, she couldn’t but absorb him into her and want to keep him with her, the basin ensuring that the two will always be together.

“Relax, I’ll be here unless you tell me to leave.” He sat down on the chair beside her bed and she frowned at what he said. “I’m sorry, I’ll be here, always.” He corrected himself and she nodded firmly, closing her eyes. Damian takes that as a gesture that he may place the cloth over her eyes. He twisted the cloth in order for the excess water to leave it, and she placed the damp cloth over her eyes.

He looked at her with grief, certain this time would pass as she was merely just confused. She didn’t actually need him, Raven will surely find Garfield again.

The next day came and when Damian went inside her room Raven was already awake on her bed. Her head turned towards the door and their eyes instantly met.

“You’re already awake.” Damian was surprised as it was still quite early in the morning. In fact, the sun had just risen a few minutes ago. 

When she saw him, her eyes watered and he came running to her side.

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Should I–” He turned around ready to call a nurse, but a cold hand over his hand stopped him. His head spun to look at Raven with an ashen expression and Raven wiped away her stray tears with her free hand.

“I just wanted you here.” She confessed in what was barely a whisper. Hearing that made Damian kneel before her as he clenched her hand and brought it to his forehead which was lowered. This had been a habit he had developed over the years he spent waiting for Raven to awaken.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized as a tear slipped away from his eye. “I–”

“You’re not going to leave me, right?” Raven’s voice broke as she asked but she still held onto her resolve to look strong. He looked up at her with green eyes that held terror at the thought. She thought that this was an image she never knew he would show, and yet she was uncertain why she thought so.

“I swear Raven, I will be here throughout your recovery. No matter what.” Damian swore tears pooling in his eyes. She withdrew the hand against his forehead and reached out to his temple, he closed his eyes as she brushed her thumb gently under his eye.

“I will hold you to that.” She replied, pulling her hand away.

“I can’t tell you how you got this way– I can tell you your medical condition– granted not in full, in order not to add stress to you.” He said his tone back to a gentleness she was certain wasn’t his norm. 

Raven placed her hand over his again and nodded in understanding. Even if something was telling her this wasn’t how he normally acted, she still embraced it, maybe only because it was only for her that he was acting like this and no one else. And she kind of hoped that this version of him was indeed only for her, even if it was a selfish thought.

“Okay, so good news is: because of your magical origin you didn’t really lose weight. In fact, because of your magic you were able to survive.” Damian noticed the confused look on her face, and he found himself rather alarmed. 

“What is your latest memory Raven?” His tone on edge, she just looked at him blankly and then eventually frowned.

“I don’t– I don’t recall anything.” She replied and Damian inhaled a sharp breath.

“Yesterday was the same?” Damian tried to confirm even though he did not want to know the answer and she nodded in reply.

“It’s just a blank haze.” Raven mumbled with a frown. 

“Okay, okay– no it is fine, okay?” Damian mumbled although his eyes were shifty. Raven squeezed his hand to try and calm him and reassure him. It was odd how she naturally wanted to comfort him over anything else– over the fact that she has known since she had awaken– that she knew nothing at all.

“I’m in no rush to get my memories– as long as– that is, you are here.” Raven looked at him with calm ease. But his expression did not look pleasant, and a blanket of fear settled over her heart. “I realize– I don’t know how we are related– you must have someone–” The tension in her voice was stifling and Damian immediately cupped both her cheeks forcing her to look at him, making her forget her unreasonable fears.

But were they really unreasonable?

“There is no one else I’d rather be with than with you.” Damian said, leaning his forehead against hers, and she sighed as she closed her eyes, cupping his cheeks in return. She didn’t want to break the silence, and she felt– she was certain he felt the exact same way. Raven couldn’t explain why she knew that but they bask at the silence and their warmth for as long as time would allow.

He told her that she was special and in an almost round-about manner that she was related to a powerful being, whose name and identity shall be omitted to ensure she will not be overwhelmed. And because of this entity, she was born with magic which then aided her rather impossible recovery. If she wasn’t this special, he feared the worst, and Raven knew what that meant.

She could have died.

 ~.~.~.~.~

 Almost two weeks had passed and Raven was utterly frustrated. She wanted to remember something– anything. She wanted so desperately to know him.She couldn’t sleep because of it.

“I know you are having a hard time remembering, so I understand why you are restless in an unfamiliar place, but you need to get some rest.” Damian urged Raven quietly with arms crossed. She looked at him with furrowed brows, she was on her hospital bed that was elevated for her to sit.

“Haven’t I rested enough?” She wondered aloud and he shook his head.

 “You know that is not what I mean.” He replied to her.

 “I just can’t sleep.” Raven confessed in a quiet voice as her eyes dodge around the white walls anxiously.

 Damian took a step closer to her, “Why?” He asked in a gentle manner and her eyes fell on him. The gentleness in his voice is almost associating to his default tone– almost.

 “I’m afraid.” She replied with watery eyes, and her hands started to shake a little. He couldn’t help but press his lips, he did not know what to say. He was supposed to show her how firm he could be but he could see that she had become weary because of exhaustion.

 “Why?” He simply asked as if talking to a child, and she suddenly held onto his wrists.

 “What if, when I wake you’re not here?” She said nervously, her eyes darting to the door momentarily. In fact, she would refuse to eat some meals if she had not seen him for the day.

 “I already don’t know much about you.” Raven looked back at him, her eyes visibly shaking. “What if– what if–” Her stare seemed to unfocus behind him which worried Damian.

 “What if I wake up and I don’t remember what little I know about you?” Her violet eyes suddenly looked at his green eyes which startled him. The fear and the distant gaze made his heart ache and made him equally worry. “I already don’t know anything about you.” Her breathing became ragged and he felt guilty.

 “But what if you remember?” He asked simply in a soft voice as he looked down, he did not want to acknowledge it, but it had to be said.  

 Suddenly Raven held his shoulders and was so close to his face that he was left startled again. Her eyes filled with terror that Damian almost mirrored the same thing.

 “What if I don’t like what I remember?” She asked as she exhaled in an almost wheezing manner. Damian’s heart sank hearing her words. 

 “But– what if you do?” He heard himself barely whisper. He was certain that the first thing she would remember was Garfield and all the happy memories they shared. He had not thought of Garfield in the past weeks, but it made him realize how he had to tell Garfield that Raven was now awake. 

 Damian looked at her with the most indifferent expression he could muster, and cupped her cheek and sighed. But the indifference in his face made her scared. He had told Dick not to tell anyone she was awake for now, as to not have any visitors that could overwhelm Raven, but it is probably time to introduce her to other people. 

 “You know, I think if I introduce you to people you knew before the accident, it can help you.” Damian said slowly, not even looking at her face. Raven’s eyes widened in sheer terror, and her shaking hand reached out to Damian’s jaw to make him look at her. She couldn’t even make him turn his head to her because she had no strength in her body left at his suggestion.

 “Please, don’t make me.” Tears fell down her cheeks as her voice broke. Looking at her like this made Damian feel a different kind of guilt that stayed heavy on his heart. 

 “Okay, okay, okay.” Damian scooped her up into his arms. “I won’t force you.” He comforted her as he rubbed her back. She wept for a few more minutes and then pulled away.

 “But you have to promise me that you will try and get proper rest.” Damian added gently and she pouted. 

 “If you sleep with me.” She replied in a serious tone, but the words shocked Damian to his core, he almost wavered and gave in to her request. Damian knew he shouldn’t.

 He sat there frozen, which made Raven frown. “I can’t do that.” He said standing up, his tone uninviting as he turned his back against her. Raven pressed her lips but did not try to persuade him. She laid back down on her bed, and stared at his back.

 “Fine.” She agreed silently. “I don’t want visitors yet.” She added in a slightly louder tone as she observed Damian nod his head.

 “Let’s just focus on your recovery first then.” Damian turned around to look at her again, but this time with a smile and Raven felt that she had no choice but to pretend to not be hurt at that moment.

~.~.~.~.~

The days passed which then turned to weeks, the doctors and the scientists were surprised with her incredible recovery. 

 In less than two weeks Raven had already found strength in her legs to hold her body. She was still frail, but she could walk a couple steps, albeit with trouble. However, they attributed her speedy recovery from her origins, her magic that she must have been unconsciously using all this time.

Damian had once mentioned to Raven that she could heal herself and be back to normal in a matter of seconds. But her response, which also frightened him, put a stop to any attempts of convincing her to heal herself– Raven simply said she didn’t know how to.

Damian’s heart ached at the implication of Raven not knowing how to do something she was currently unconsciously doing. It could mean she was never using her magic to heal herself, and surviving or waking up was sheer luck. Or perhaps she won in the gene lottery because of her father. If it wasn’t magic that got her this far, perhaps the different composition of her father’s blood in her had helped her somehow. And if that was the case, it would still boil down to sheer luck for Raven to live this long.

The implication was something that he hated. 

Luck was intangible and as untrustworthy as his own mother. If luck was the reason Raven was still here, then he was so close to losing her for all eternity. This was something he could not accept.

“I don’t understand why she can’t recall anything.” Damian asked from outside Raven’s room. Raven was leaning against the wall by her bedroom door. She had initially wanted to go out to meet him, but his worried voice from outside just made her pressed her lips instead. 

Raven felt bad that she couldn’t remember anything, but she also liked the pace she and Damian had. There was a fondness in the fact that their moments together were completely theirs and no one else’s, Raven purely enjoyed this.

“We theorize she doesn’t want to remember.” A voice replied which she recognized as the head scientist.

“Well, aside from obvious trauma.” The doctor added and she pressed her lips again. Raven decided she did not need to hear what they had to say next, as she slowly walked across the room, lost in her thoughts.

“I can’t make these kinds of decisions for her.” Damian had said in a faintly pained voice. 

The door to Raven’s room is eventually opened by Damian as he walks in quietly. Raven was standing by her window as she gazed at the lawn outside. 

“Raven, when did you wake up?” He asked her, the pain in his voice gone and was replaced with a stifling gentleness that she recognized as unfamiliar and yet that was how he had been talking to her since she woke up– gentle, tender, caring and almost so very, very loving.

“It’s odd…” She mumbled, looking out the window and then glanced at the windowsill. “ I am certain you normally don’t talk in such a manner.” She brushed her fingers on the windowsill as she heard footsteps go to her. He stopped a little behind her, and she shifted her gaze out the window again. 

“And yet, I have no memory to supplement–” She raised her hands and gazed at her palms. “This knowledge.” Damian looked down on the ground unsure on how to comfort her or reassure her without having to lie. 

“I just know… you’re not this gentle– but–” She turned to look at him. “I also feel that you are only ever gentle with me.” Raven noted his fluttering eyes which then quickly avoided her, she cupped his cheek making him look at her.

“You still refuse to tell me what we really are to each other.” She said, and she noted how he closed his eyes.

He sighed, “I don’t think you’d want to know.” Was his reply as he slowly opened his eyes to look at her. “We are–”

“I believe you.” She cut him off in a firm but gentle tone. She didn’t want to know, but she wanted to live in this moment. “I believe you’re right when you say that I don’t want to know.”

Raven’s gaze at him was patient and unhurried, she didn’t want to know especially when he said she wouldn’t want to. She smiled at him softly and he stared back at her, hiding the pain he felt. 

Damian concluded that he couldn’t get lost in this moment because when the bubble burst– when she recalls, he knew who she would run to first and it was obviously– it couldn’t be– him. No matter the small hints dropped, Damian had to believe it was unintended because she was merely confused with the missing memories.

He will endure this pain until she chooses Garfield all over again. It was always Garfield– it was never him.

 ~.~.~.~.~

 A few weeks passed by and Raven was finally walking without a problem, she had ventured through the villa and knew every room as if it was her home. Damian had just convinced Raven to take walks outside the villa and she begged him that he had to be there whenever she did go for a walk outside the building. 

They went down the stairs, but being self-aware that she was expected to walk out of the building scared her. She knew she wasn’t ready and she squeezed the hand that held hers firmly. Damian’s green eyes looked at her trying to hide the worry, but she saw through it. 

Raven knew that she had to be strong for him at least, that alone was enough to bring her to the end of the staircase. She knew he asked this of her for her own good. She knew he was worried how she had locked herself inside the villa. She knew these even when there were no words that were said directly to her. 

Raven knew and she did not know why, but she knew all of these.

Damian would ask her if she wanted to know more about her, but she would just shake her head, rejecting his offer. Raven then would tell him that she was content with what little she knew of herself. And she knew and could feel his turmoil as if it was hers, but she would not delve into the matter any further.

She didn’t want to know more about herself. Raven simply wanted to know more about Damian.

Damian guided her to the main entrance, a door she would more often than not pass by as if it did not exist. There were a couple of times she would glance at it and rarely stare for more than two minutes and then proceed to ignore it. She found she had no interest in the outside world, she liked it here, inside this huge mansion with Damian. That was more than she needed. She wanted to be with him– the man holding her hand.

Raven squeezed his hand again as they stopped in front of the door. 

Damian had reached out for the doorknob with his free hand but feeling her squeeze his hand again made him turn to her.

“Do you want to do this?” He asked sympathetically, and she tried to smile to comfort him but her uncertainty had become bigger than her. She squeezed his hand again as she forced herself to nod. 

Damian took a deep breath and opened the door and as it swung open and revealed the green grass, Raven’s legs buckled. An image in her head overlapped with the green grass. And she no longer saw the tranquil lawn outside– instead she saw destruction.

Raven’s breathing became heavy as the image remained in her sight. Cars littered everywhere, smoke and flames, and then there was–

Raven screamed as her palms covered her face. She had fallen on her knees screaming as she wept.

“Raven!” Damian yelled as he dropped to his knees to hold her in his arms. She screamed as she held onto him.

“No, no, no!” She repeated as she held onto his shirt as if she’d ripped it from how strong her grip was. “Damian!” She screamed his name in so much terror his heart dropped to his stomach and he hugged her tightly.

“I’m here, I’m here.” He repeated but her repeating words of no was louder. He called her name but she didn’t respond, just sobbed and called his name in a broken whisper. He forcefully pulled her away from his chest, and she struggled in his arms not wanting to let go. 

“I’m here Raven, I’m here.” He  forced himself to say as he kept her at a distance so she could see his face. She continued to scuffle at him, her eyes unfocused as tears streamed down her face. “Raven!” He called her name as loudly as he could so his voice would not be drowned out by her voice. He sounded like he was about to burst into tears and his chest ached even more seeing her tremble in place at the sudden sound– at his sudden burst.

Raven’s eyes found his, her hands quivering, “Damian.” She hugged him and wept in silence.

“There, there.” He patted her back and they remained that way for a moment, he adjusted his hands so that he could carry her back to her room. “Let’s go back, let’s try again some other day.” He coaxed her quietly. He felt her nod against his collar bone. 

Damian squeezed her one more time and then found his footing in order to stand up. Raven continued to cry as he climbed back up to her bedroom.

When they arrived in her room and he settled her on her bed, she confessed to him how afraid she was that night of the accident. She was afraid she wouldn’t get to experience a life with him by her side. 

Raven initiated their first kiss, and in the confusion he kissed her back with the passion he held onto and had for her for years. Raven kissed back, slipping her tongue inside his mouth and she recognized his inexperience because of it and he confirmed it when he pulled away.

Damian couldn’t help but mention she had dated before, couldn’t help but say Garfield’s name and thus had to see her expression shift right before his own eyes. 

She longed for him– Garfield.

Raven was confused because she didn’t have any memories of Garfield, but her heart beats loudly upon hearing his name. Her expression could not help but mold into longing, and Damian saw all of this. She could vaguely feel his pain behind the turmoil that was brought about when Damian said Garfield’s name.

She still wanted to choose Damian even if her heart and body remembered this man named Garfield, even if she reacted in such an extreme manner. But the turmoil inside of her made her tired, she wanted to rest and yet she still wanted Damian.

Raven asked if they could try walking outside again tomorrow and he quietly obliged. She knew she had to tell him before her feelings got lost in translation– lost in words that were never said. 

Raven had to define what she wanted with him. What she wanted with Damian and no one else.

“I would like to date you, Damian.” Her words were sincere and certain even when she was clearly reacting towards that name– Garfield.

But Damian quickly shot her down by saying, “Your memory isn’t like what it was, Raven. I think it’s too early to say that.” She pressed her lips, she hated how he replied. She hated how he shot her down so quickly. But then, she also hated herself, what could she have done to someone this good to her, to reply that easily? To reply in such a manner?

Garfield, even though the name sparked a reaction to her physically, she didn’t remember her love for him. If someone told her that her heart was beating because of the love she had for Garfield, she’d tell them instantly: that isn’t the case. 

This beating was more akin to fear, she didn’t want to know anything about Garfield because to a degree she was aware it would affect her relationship with Damian. 

Now that was something she did not want at all.

But Raven will be patient, she had to be. 

If Damian wasn’t ready now, she will wait, and she will not have someone who she didn’t remember obstruct her. She knew she chose Damian on her dying breath and that meant something stronger than this person she didn’t remember, named Garfield. 

 ~.~.~.~.~

 Raven had stopped keeping track of the days but a week ago she was finally able to step out of the mansion. Previously they would stand in front of the entrance ranging from a panic stricken melt-down to a staring contest that could last a few minutes to hours and yet she could never step out of the building. 

The first time Raven struggled to go outside helped her remember something though– her accident. She had an inkling why she was afraid of going outside and now she knew her accident took place in an open space. 

Raven found this out the first time she attempted to step out and saw the fast field. Her legs gave in as she so vaguely recalled a scene that overlapped the green grass. It was an unpleasant memory which she had not informed Damian she recalled, even if so very faint. Even when he carried her up to her room and comforted her, she didn’t tell him the details of what she had seen and felt but now it was different.

Raven knew for certain that it involved the man who was always there as she recovered– Damian. 

She tried to calm her mind in order to find peace to try and put the pieces together. And that was how she knew, just a week ago, why she held Damian so tightly every time, why she had to see him, why it had to be him that accompanied her.

Today Damian promised he would go out and join her for a walk. If he wasn’t by her side she would refuse to even attempt stepping out of the safety of the building he provided for her. They stood in front the main entrance of his villa, Raven holding his wrist with both hands in a tight grip. Even though they have gone out over a couple of times, it still wasn’t an easy feat for Raven. 

Damian rested his free hand over her cold hands that were tightly wrapped around his wrist. Even when she was evidently shaking he never forced her out. But there were so many times where she would just faint out of pure fear which then would make him wonder: if Raven knew how painful it is to catch her like that, would she refuse to leave the villa?

Did he even have the right to be hurt when he is someone she didn’t love in that way?

“Damian?” Raven called in a small voice, her eyes worried as she looked up at him. He smiled at her faintly.

“I’m sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.” He admitted, no matter what, he cannot be delusional. It might have seemed like she held her hand out for him twice, but it could be that it wasn’t– no it isn’t the case. She could have been confused and thought he was Garfield. He sighed and closed his eyes tightly.

He recalled what happened weeks ago, where they had shared their first kiss, she said doesn’t remember Garfield but when she does recall her old flame, Damian knew he’d be left with a broken heart. She didn’t know any better, and he tried his hardest to pretend it never happened. He knew Raven could see through him and did not cause any trouble, instead she played along with his unspoken wish. 

Pretend like she didn’t tell him that she was scared to not experience a love with him, pretend she didn’t kiss him and he didn’t kiss back.

“Damian.” She called his name again, her voice sounding like she was at the verge of tears and he looked at her worriedly. “Do you know why I’m scared of going outside?” She thought that even if she just knew a few days ago of the reason why she found it hard to step outside, she had to tell him, even if– when her memories return, it might not be the truth anymore. 

Even when he was clearly pushing her away.

Damian didn’t look at her, he only looked down on the floor. He did not want her to continue. 

And it made her heart ache, it made her wonder why he would act like this. When her memories return, she would know why he is like this, she must have hurt him a lot before. And there was a part of her that hoped she wouldn’t have those memories back, because there was one thing she knew for a long time– she wanted to build a future with him.

She wasn’t sure she could if she really did something awful to him. 

Was she an awful person?

Raven pressed her lips together, but she still had to take a chance, “Whenever I get to hold your hand.” She pulled one of her hands off of his wrist and laced her hand with his. “It feels so perfect, when I get to hold you like this, it makes me feel so safe. Like I would never get lost, and I would never lose you.” She leaned against his shoulder as he remained quiet.

“Please don’t tell me that I will regret this when I have my memories back.” She softly added as a tear slipped her eye which she hid from him. And they remained silent as she found the strength to open the door and step out. 

And for the first time, it was her who guided him out, not the other way around. 

 ~.~.~.~.~

 Then the day she finally met Garfield came, Garfield called her name out and it made her freeze. The beating in her chest wasn’t out of fear, it was love and Raven hated it. She hated how she recognized his voice and when she turned to look at him– she remembered him. She recalled their happy memories. She instantly knew something about him and it scared her.

Raven had been so happy these past months because of the man beside her– Damian. And yet, this person– Garfield, decided to barge into their pleasant conversation. She still didn’t remember much about Damian other than being so terrified when she thought she was dying and couldn’t spend time with him.

But with Garfield it was like her life with him was flashing through her eyes, and she was feeling everything as if it was still happening. 

It was overwhelming her, she knew she loved him. She loved Garfield so much. 

Raven could feel Damian’s turmoil– his pain. She could feel Garfield’s joy at her being awake and his anger at Damian for not telling him. She could even feel the guilt of the man behind Garfield, whom Damian called Greyson. And she can feel the love she had for Garfield for nine long years.

Damian confirmed what he knew– in her eyes Garfield will always surpass him. But this moment also made Damian realize just how much he had allowed himself to sink into this make-believe life they built within the mansion. He wasn’t her boyfriend, and she didn’t have a space for him in her heart. 

The unexpected guest that Greyson brought was a much needed wake-up call.

“Get out.” Raven said firmly and as mean as she could but her words came out gentle and tired. Damian was surprised by this and turned to her instantly, but she turned around and looked out the window. “All of you.” 

Raven was combing the memories that felt more than an assault than anything else. It was her happy memories with Gar, she was sure of it, but she hated it so much. She crossed her arms over her chest refusing to talk to anyone and they left one by one, Damian being the last to leave.

When the hours passed by she felt better with more control over her emotions. Raven sat down by the windowsill thinking of what she could or would do with these new found memories. She knew firmly how she did not want to pursue Garfield even when her memories were playing tricks on her. 

Yes, tricks that is what these memories are– tricks

Raven knew who she wanted to be with Damian, it doesn’t matter how her memories of Garfield made her so desperately want to run to said person. She had made her choice, the night of her accident, that she wanted her future to be with Damian.

And yet, why was it that she was convincing herself over and over again of that choice?

When the door opened and she heard footsteps come her way, even when her back was facing the intruder, she knew it was Damian.

“He hasn’t left has he?” She asked even if she did not have confirmation that it was Damian, but the voice that responded was the one who had been with her since she woke up– no since she was in a coma. His voice always followed her.

Damian told her how Garfield refused to leave until he talked to her, but Damian didn’t come here to convince her to talk to Garfield, he came because she had to eat dinner. 

Raven agreed to eat dinner only if Damian joined her and Damian did not complain. He was rather surprised that she would want his company, perhaps this would just be like how they have been living so far, another stolen moment– a temporary happy memory. And yet, he still could not complain, he was still rather glad, even if it was temporary he was still being chosen– for this moment, for this hour, for this day.

Damian brought the food up for the two of them and they sat across from each other in silence. Raven was picking on her food and he remained quiet and patient. 

Raven sighed and then said, “It’s odd, when I saw him, it felt like I just realized the world was a puzzle with missing pieces, and his presence just made all the missing pieces appear on it’s designated places. He was familiar, he was someone I knew— love , maybe even… but something didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t want to approach him and I didn’t want him to approach me.”

There could have been more said after what Raven confessed and yet the pair knew there was nothing that needed to be said or done. They were completely fine with each other’s company. She recognized his pain and his suffering for all these years, and he recognized how upset and angry she was at how Garfield made her react the way she did.

But they said nothing to rely on what they already knew about each other and instead remained in silence which was a comforting embrace for them both.

 ~.~.~.~.~

 Three days passed when Raven finally decided she could meet Garfield. She had to face him sooner or later and she was mostly thankful for his unexpected visit as it became the firestarter for her memories to really come back to her.

It hurt and it was overwhelming, she knew she loved Garfield, but that was a version of her who has always known nothing but loving him. She saw clearly how bad they were together and yet the love she had for Garfield was like looking at the scorching sun directly in the eyes. No matter how bright the sun was, staring at it directly would pain one’s eyes.

It did leave her so utterly confused. But her decision hasn’t changed, it was still Damian whom she wanted to be with.

The day Raven saw Garfield was the last day she had seen Damian. She grew so very anxious, she had lost her appetite to eat or go out of her bedroom. She wondered if her refusal to eat would at least prompt Damian to visit her again. 

Why had he not visited her for days? Had he seen her with Garfield that day– out on his lawn?

She had to explain herself to Damian and then she would find herself standing by her bedroom door thinking of leaving, to look for Damian herself. But her body couldn’t, it refused to go out, she would find herself puking into her toilet instead. 

Her days without Damian passed like that, she couldn’t go out of her bedroom without him. But she wanted so badly to see him and talk to him because the fear in her chest was so heavy it felt like it was crushing her ribs. She didn’t realize until now how dependent on him she had become.

Raven was currently laying on her bed, looking at the ceiling as she tried to control her emotions. She didn’t count the days that she hadn’t seen Damian after the third day because she was afraid that he might never come and being that aware of how many days she hadn’t seen him pained her too much.

She wanted to cry, she was so scared, but she couldn’t even find her voice to express her fear and pain.

Raven got up and faced the door when she felt another wave of panic assault her. She covered her face as she caved in on her emotions. The memory of the night when she was attacked flashing before her eyes.

Was it too late to tell him? Will he never come?

She wanted so badly to be with him, the fear of not being able to– was choking her.

The door suddenly opened and she shot up on her feet, hoping it was him– she catched the familiar black hair and green eyes and that beautiful tan skin of Damian Wayne. Her feet moved fast with a sob as the distance between them only felt like two steps as she gave him a tight embrace. 

Raven was scared, she was terrified that maybe she was manifesting a fake Damian because of her desire to see him. But holding the warm body and familiar aura of the man who had patiently waited for her for years– she knew, it was undoubtedly him.

Damian was confused, but when she felt his strong arms gently returning her hug, Raven held onto him even tighter as she placed her eyes against his shoulder as she wept, refusing to let him go. 

“I thought you wouldn’t come back. I was so scared.” Her pleading voice made his heart ache. 

He didn’t know what to say, “I’m sorry for worrying you.” A soft reply as he tightened his hold on her and held her down so her feet would touch the floor. But she did not let him go and he did not either and so they held each other tightly for a bit longer.

Eventually Raven pulled away as she tried to collect herself. She wiped her tears as she looked at those emerald eyes. She instantly saw the confusion in his eyes and her heart skipped a beat in fear. She reached for his hands, afraid he’d suddenly turn around– deciding to leave her for good.

So she told him all the things that were running through her head. 

“When Gar came and guided me outside, I couldn’t find the strength to step through the door. All I could think about was that I need you. I need you to hold my hand as I step outside. While that night kept flashing through my mind. But he held my hand– and it felt so familiar. And all my fears just vanished.” Raven looked down on her feet, she could remember vividly how that day went. And if Damian had seen them at the lawn, how it must have felt for him to see such a scene.

“And I found myself outside– with him.” She added, sounding distressed, but she hadn’t finished and she found herself holding onto Damian’s hand tightly as if looking for strength to continue on. A broken smile was on her lips as the tears on her eyes slipped and fell onto the floor. She didn’t want to continue, but she had to. 

“I forgot the time I was injured, till the time before he held my hands. It felt like I could breathe again.” Her eyes suddenly met his green gaze and Damian was startled, he had to admit: he hated this conversation. “He will always be someone that matters to me, we will always have history. I have loved him for nine years, we shared so many memories– so many firsts. But I do not want to be with him. I want to be with you. And I know I am asking a lot, but if all these don’t bother you– I would love it, if you would date me.” She said as quickly and calmly as she could. Raven felt like she was just ranting and making a fool of herself now. And it was worse when there was only silence that greeted her.

“I want you. I want to be with you.” She softly added, thinking that maybe it would make a difference. But the silence continued and her confidence shrank even more.

“I don’t mind.” Was his soft reply that she didn’t hear, because Raven was convinced that he did not feel the same way for her. 

She indeed was such a fool.

“If that is an issue for you, then I completely understand.” She mumbled.

“I don’t mind.” He repeated, a bit louder this time.

“I know it’s been two years, and that there must have been someone you became interested in. Or maybe you’ve even dated a bit. I know we don’t talk about it, but I get that–” She tried to rationalize because it made sense. Damian wouldn’t wait for someone who broke his heart over and over again. And yet, it hurt so much, she squeezed her eyes trying not to cry at the truth. 

He didn’t want her.

But Raven’s tone gave her away, she was so close to sobbing. She was so scared of losing him.

“Raven,” Came Damian’s steady voice that echoed into the room, she found her eyes looking straight at him. His strong hand against her cheek, his green eyes steadily gazing at her in a tender manner. “I want to be with you.” She couldn’t find the strength to believe him.

“I’ve always wanted to be with you– I waited for you.” His words finally reached Raven’s soul, she felt his relief and her tears washed away her distrust over his confession. “I almost gave up, I admit that.” He looked away and she cupped his cheeks.

“If I were in your place, even I would waver.” She admitted as she tried to catch his gaze. 

When their eyes were finally locked at one another she added in a gentle tone, “Garfield will always have some meaning to me– his all I have known for nine years, even before sleeping for two years– my history with him is half my life. I was afraid. I thought he was the only one who could possibly love someone like me– I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. I want my next memories and moments– with you. And slowly those memories I had, and my history with him, will just be a fraction of my life. I want you. I want every possible milestone with you, Damian.” She felt that she had to explain herself, had to make him fully aware that being with her would be a challenge, that it wasn’t going to be easy because of her ex. But God– Azar, this was all she wanted since she woke up. 

It was difficult to hold to the desire of wanting to be with Damian when her memories made her feel her love for someone else. It hurt so much and it was draining her, but she had to hold on because she had to see if she had a chance with him– with Damian.

He nodded and she wanted to cry in disbelief and happiness. He really chose her, despite everything and the challenges that had faced and they will face. She knows very well, first hand, how hard it is to hold onto the thought of a future with Damian.

“I never thought this day would happen.” A gentle confession from Damian as he leaned against her, resting his forehead on hers. The contact made her smile softly and they remained like that in silence.

It was Damian who would break the silence, “I was afraid to ask, or open up about this, especially since you were still recuperating– and your memories are fuzzy. But who would have thought you would catch me by surprise and open up the topic yourself?” 

Raven didn’t want to hear him talk anymore because to her ears, it was Damian confirming how closely she evaded not having him in her life. And Raven took another chance– she kissed him and she was surprised when he kissed her back shyly. 

Raven deepened the kiss, wanting to taste more of him. Her worries about losing sight of wanting to be with him are lost at the back of her mind. The kiss seemingly a symbol that anchored her to him. 

She pulled away when she recalled the last time they shared a kiss, his inexperience– the same kind that was now awkwardly against her lips.

“We will take it step by step. I might still remember more about Garfield, and I might get a little confused. But remind me that I chose you since that night.” Raven stood on her tippy toes and rested her forehead against his head. Their eyes locked at one another and she caught the surprise that flashed in his eyes for a moment and then he brushed his thumb against her cheek. 

“I finally caught up to you.” He whispered and Raven couldn’t help the small laughter that she tried to hide from coming out.

Raven felt that it was truly the other way around. It was her who finally caught him.

  ~.~.~.~.~.~

 Damian was asleep with Raven in her king sized bed and he awoke when he noticed the familiar frame that was usually resting on his chest turned to her side, away from him. His green eyes slowly opened, aware of the missing weight and warmth of his girlfriend. His eyes were still half open when he heard the shallow breathing of Raven.

“Raven.” He called out as he turned her to lay on her back, she did not respond but he noticed the sweat forming on her forehead.

“Gar…” She whispered between wheezes. Damian froze hearing her call for Garfield.

“Gar– Please.” He heard her stifle. “Don’t– please.” She turned her head from left to right. “Don’t leave me please.” She begged as tears streamed down her. 

“I love you.” She whispered and then wept, Damian felt like his heart was ripped away from him, but looking at her like that all sweaty and in tears– he couldn’t let his pain get ahead of himself. With shaking hands he wiped her tears with one hand and wiped her sweat with the other.

Raven suddenly jolted awake from the touch. “Gar?” Was the name that she called out first as she sat up and placed her hands on Damian’s chest. Damian’s expression remained as stoic as possible, but he couldn’t hide the slight widening of his green eyes.

“Gar– I thought– I thought–” Raven’s voice sounded desperate and Damian hated it. Her violet eyes were also filled with the same kind of desperation. 

Raven’s shaky eyes stared at Damian’s emerald eyes, but he could see and understand that his girlfriend was not seeing him. He saw how Raven’s gaze of despair slowly turned to pure confusion then fear.

To Raven she had seen Garfield’s green skin, but once she gazed at his eyes, she found that it was not the same shade or shape as Garfield’s eyes. And then suddenly the image of Garfield was replaced by Damian Wayne.

“Damian?” She asked in confusion, almost chokingly. “What are you doing in my bed? In my room?” She glanced around and realized she did not recognize where she was. “Where am I?” Her tone was pure fear and Damian could only press his lips in silence.

Raven stumbled as she got off the bed in her confusion, “Where– where am I?” she mumbled as she gazed at her surroundings again and she tripped backwards. Raven felt extremely hopeless, she placed her hands over her eyes as she wept.

“I don’t- I don’t.” She mumbled as she heard rustling from the bed. Damian got up and slowly approached her and knelt by her side. He was hurt, he was so hurt that she was still looking for Garfield. This wasn’t the first time he would wake up to her hysterics, but it did not make every single one after the first episode any easier. 

This started happening a few weeks after they got together and the intervals became closer as the time progressed.

He reached her hand and she heard her loud gasp as she looked up with wide amethyst eyes that showed both her confusion and fear. She felt guilty at how loud her own breath was.

“Damian?” She asked as she sniffed, there was recognition in her eyes and she hugged him as she wept. “I did it again, didn’t I? Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry.” She cried and he hugged her tightly.

“It hurts, I admit that much.” He whispered as he put his face against the nook of her shoulder and neck and there was silence from Raven as she held in her sobs by sucking in her lips. “But you are not going to get rid of me that easily. You made me promise, remember? To remind you that you chose me since that night.” 

Raven pulled away to look at him and cupped his face, the tears pooling in her eyes and she nodded as she tried to smile. 

“Yes, that’s right, I chose you. You– Damian Wayne.” She whispered her eyes searching for his pain. His thumb neared Raven’s left eye and she closed both her eyes as he wiped her tears. 

“You choose me, and I will fight whatever fucking monster I have to– to remind you that you chose me– until you don’t want me anymore.” Damian spoke gently as he rested his forehead against hers.

“Me? Not wanting you?” She repeated back, a concept she could not understand and she shook her head. “All I’ve ever wanted in my coma was you.”

Damian felt a warmth in his chest and he found a small hand rubbing against his sternum gently. Her eyes glanced at his chest for a  second.

“May this warmth bloom and grow bigger, I am not letting you go ever.” Raven then suddenly gazed at his eyes. Damian was startled by the firmness in her  eyes.

“Okay.” He couldn’t help but reply. He was more than alright with that. He smiled at her affectionately. 

Damian was always taken aback by her skills as an empath, especially on times like this; when Raven would reaffirm his affection for her by reminding her in small gestures that she can feel his love for her, and he never needed her to say that she loved him back because it was clear in her eyes, in her touch, in her voice– she loves him back wholeheartedly.

It wasn’t something  they questioned when their minds were in this kind of tranquility. 

 ~.~.~.~.~

 They had been officially dating for a couple of months and Damian could clearly see how positively this fact has affected Raven. She was laughing with him so much and she would look at him with such an endearing gaze; which was rather suffocating for Damian, only because he still couldn’t believe it himself– that they are finally together. 

Raven would run around with him through the villa like kids, and they would steal kisses from one another. Whenever he was here, the two would have so much fun. It was unbelievable that the two had been pining for someone for nine years.

When Damian would have to leave, and when his absence would be longer due to missions, he could see the fear and worry in her eyes and face. And it made him want to stay by her side, but he couldn’t do that, he was a hero, this was his job. The guilt and pain Damian felt when he had to leave Raven for long missions was worse now that they are dating.

The feeling of not wanting to leave was so strong that it made it hard for Damian to part from Raven with a tranquil mind. In fact every parting since they started dating had made the feeling even more stuffier; for a moment or two, he had considered leaving the team and Batman entirely.

The couple were in Raven’s bedroom, they were sitting on a new bed that the two had gotten to replace her hospital bed a long time ago. They even spent so much time renovating her entire space. When Damian would step into the room, he could now tell it was hers. She had a space in a house he had asked from his father for her. There was a level of permanency that could not be replaced and could not be described with this fact. He had finally grown and nurtured such an intimate relationship with someone.

However, Damian has to leave for two weeks and he can see it in his girlfriend’s violet eyes that she does not want him to be away from her.

“When you’re gone, now that we are together, your absence feels longer than it actually is.” Raven confessed, she was finally no longer lying on the hospital bed that she had slept on for years, it was oddly comforting. 

Damian was sitting across from her on her bed and he looked at her gently as he brushed her cheek, hoping he could brush off her sad expression.

“I will be careful.” He whispered, the moonlight being their only light within the room. 

“I know, it’s what you always say every time.” Raven answered back, and they stared at each other.

But this time it was different. 

Those were the words that the couple didn’t say aloud but knew was in each other’s minds and it was clear on their faces. 

But this time it was different. It is true, this time, it was different. 

To Damian this would be the first time he would leave her as her boyfriend for two whole weeks. To Raven, when he leaves she could no longer ease her mind by exploring the villa anymore, just so she would not think of the perils he would be in. She wished that she could do more, but she couldn’t remember how to use her magic or more like it wasn’t cooperating– working, even though she really wished it would.

“I need to go now.” Damian said with a heavy heart and they looked at one another. 

When Damian moved, Raven grabbed his shirt and he looked at her with a broken expression. He held her hands, squeezed them and urged her to let go by pulling her hand off of him. 

It was clear to Raven that he did not want to leave, but they both understood that he had to.

“Be safe.” She said, conceding to his wishes but he pressed his lips and Raven’s eyelid twitches.

“I will try my best.” Was his reply, and she closed her eyes, his hands no longer holding hers as he stood up. Raven stood up too and he looked at her one last time. She leaned closer to him and kissed him on his lips.

“Be safe.” She said again and for a second he rested his head against hers and then planted a gentle kiss on her lips and left her room. 

Damian refused to steal another glance; it never made leaving easy. He couldn’t be tempted into staying any longer. He knows his duties and she knows it clearly too.

Raven couldn’t lead him out of the villa, she was scared of seeing his figure out in the open at night. So she stayed in her room quietly, refusing to even take a peek outside the window to seek out his  figure. 

The thought that maybe this time would be the last time she would see him would overtake her thoughts often, tonight  was worse. Now that they are together, she couldn’t exactly not think of him on missions, she couldn’t distract herself by roaming around the mansion he got for her because all she would see was him and her now. 

They had accumulated so many memories within the mansion that it would be too difficult not to think about him at all.

What kind of dangers would he be facing? How close would he be to death’s door? What decision would save his life?

These thoughts often would haunt her mind when Damian left for missions. 

Raven gazed at her palms, wishing and hoping she would remember how to work her magic at that very moment.

She wanted to protect him. But all she remembered were things about Garfield, Damian leading them as a team– some instances with her team members and– that was all

When she tries to remember the night of her injury, she only recalled the fear of losing him. She recalle

Lazarus’ Pit: The Demon Lost Her Heart

[Disclaimer: An alternate timeline of Daughter of Trigonand Lasaruz’ Pit: The Demon Lost His Head; Both characters are 25+]

 Raven was a woman who came out of nowhere. A full-grown woman of unknown origins that had power that could not be explained had abruptly entered earth.

The Justice League saw her for what she was—a threat. 

Raven, however, simply affiliated herself as neutral but on occasion helped the Justice League when faced with an extinction level threat. Even though she fought by their side she would make it evidently clear that she was not good nor was she evil. And because she has helped The Justice League a few times; The Justice League became lax in keeping an eye on Raven and labelled her as an antihero instead.

Damian Wayne or as he is now known as– Damian Al Ghul had a different kind of story. He was more bad than he was good and he now leads the League of Assassins. However, there was a time in his teens where he allied himself under the Justice Leagues’ guidance and closely with and directly under Batman and their version of justice. Now Damian fought for a different kind of justice, one which painted him black in the eyes of the Justice League.

But on occasions, when the world faces possible extinction, he would step up and put his differences with the Justice League aside and maybe that was how the two crossed paths. 

The Justice League wasn’t quite certain if that was how Raven and Damian met, but it is a fact that they are rather uneasy with this development.

Raven and Damian became known as lovers and the Justice League was even more worried over this progression when it was revealed. 

They were dangerous. And even more so for Raven, who they recognize as a being who could level the planet, who also regularly threatens them to do so if any harm comes to Damian Al Ghul.

So, when news of Damian Al Ghul’s demise reached the Justice Leagues’ ears, it felt as though the entire earth was holding in its own breath.

“I told them, didn’t I? If anything were to happen to you, I would destroy this planet.” She mumbled to her dead lover, whose head was resting on her lap as she caressed his pale cheek. “So, tell me, why didn’t you take my threat seriously? You loved this planet more than I, so why would you allow yourself to turn out like this?”

And as natural as it is, as the dead could not speak, her lover did not respond to her.

A man running towards Raven screamed ready to swing his sword on the woman on the ground, who thought she was preoccupied with her loss. 

And oh, how wrong he was.

He stopped from his advance as he was engulfed in purple flames. Raven’s eyes that were violet had started to glow.  

The man didn’t even have the time to scream, or maybe she couldn’t hear his wails of pain, it didn’t really matter– not even a body was left of the man in the following second. She exhaled and purple flames circled her and it stretched for a meter in width.

“How noisy.” Her eyes glow brighter, the same shade as her violet eyes. She cradles her lover on her chest with vacant eyes that continue to glow a steady violet. And then everything around her seemed to slow down and turn grey. And Raven’s violet eyes slowly turned red. 

The red in her eyes matched the sky as she grew horns. Her skin slowly turned red. The grey sparrows that were flying and the grey leaves that rustled around them slowed to the point that they were close to being frozen in time.

“Raven!” Someone called out, and the transformation on her skin halted, but the earth still remained close to being frozen. Raven’s skin reverted back to its usual paper white hue, but her horns remained, her violet eyes red and the whites were now black. She turned her head to see Batman still in color and moving perfectly fine, a grim smile on her lips. Wind blows and an unkindness of ravens caw and fly overhead.

Batman covered himself from the sudden strong gust of wind and dust by using his cape as a shield. When the wind stopped and the cawing subsided, he placed his arm down. Raven and Damian were no longer where he had seen them. 

The sky was still red, everything was grey except for batman. His Justice League comms started ringing, there was color on the flashing screen.

Raven and Damian reappeared in front of the Lazarus Pit in Nanda Parbat. She looked down on Damian whose skin was blue.

“We shall reunite my love.” She said, as he was lifted up gently by her magic in a purple hue as he floated in front of her. With a small wiggle of her fingers, Damian hovered above the green liquid and slowly went down to the waters of the pit. 

Raven watched quietly as the green liquid consumed him. And an ache in her chest that she could not fully describe was felt as she stared at his body being swallowed by the Lazarus Pit. 

Damian had told her the properties of the Lazarus Pit.

And she waited. And waited. And waited.

Until instead of kneeling with her legs folded underneath her, she sat on her butt. Her knees were bent in front of her as she waited by the edge of the pool. 

And she waited.

She brought her knees closer to her chin as she continued to wait. She started to become agitated.

Was the Lazarus’ Pit not working? Could it not revive the dead?

Was Damian wrong?

And the black in Raven’s eyes turned white again, her eyes no longer red but purple and her horns resided until they were gone. Perhaps Raven reverting back to her actual appearance emphasized the pain she was feeling. It was so painful that she took the form of the woman he loved. 

If she has to, then she will put the whole human race at stake to bring him back from the dead. Her iris turned solid red with the decision as she clenched her fists.

A tan hand finally came out of the green liquid, followed by screaming and a deranged Damian aiming towards Raven with an outstretched hand. Before his hand could even touch her throat, Raven’s fingers were already outstretched towards her lover’s forehead, a violet glow emitting from her fingertips.

She shushes him gently, and his eyes slowly dims. Damian blinked and gulped down saliva, swaying a little. After a few more blinks his eyes cleared up and he looked at his lover with a gentle gaze.

“Raven…” Damian called her name out, as his face showed his confusion. His hand that was awkwardly outstretched towards Raven, cautiously touched her cheek. Raven placed a hand over his hand that was on her cheek and with her freehand she gripped his wrist. Her eyes closed as she leaned onto the hand on her cheek.

She had almost lost his touch, his body temperature that was certainly not there anymore– but now that is just a thing of the past. 

Damian Al Ghul was now alive and breathing.

“Welcome back, my love.” She softly whispered to him with a loving tone. Her red eyes reverted back to normal when she opened her eyes again. And the earth felt like it could finally breathe. Time went back as it should be, and the grey tone of the world reverted back to its original colors and hues.

“What did you do?” He asked as he too felt the shift of the entire planet, his free hand splashed on the water. He looked down, and realized where he was. He was certain that he was killed but now that he was gazing at the waters of the pit, he knew he really did.

He knew he was killed. He knew his last thoughts were seeing her one last time. He wanted to hold her and tell her he loved her so much.

He knew he had died. And yet, here he was breathing and alive.

“Raven—” His eyes locked onto hers.

“Do not worry about it.” Were her final words as she edged near him and rested her forehead against his. “I have told you this before, there is no price I am unwilling to pay for you.”

He couldn’t respond because he too would do the same if it was her, but– he stared at her and cupped both her cheeks.

He wondered how much pain she felt seeing him like that. He knew that she didn’t care much for this planet and its people, after all she had not grown up here on this planet. In fact, when Damian and Raven met she didn’t care much for anything but she then started to deeply care for him and only him.

“I would have done the same thing.” He whispered as he knew that he would. Damian leaned down to kiss her and she closed her eyes.

If Damian had died she would have destroyed this planet. She would not want this earth to remain to haunt her due to the loss of the man she loved. But she would also do everything in her power to return him to her side.

If Raven had not done this, he would not feel her warmth again. 

She wouldn’t feel his warmth again.

The thought was something she could not accept, even when she was so very close to having that as her reality. 

Raven had seen the devil, lived and grew up in hell with the devil as her father. This earth– him– Damian, was the only thing that linked her to being relatively normal. She knew she was part human, and it was him who made her really feel that part of her. 

She wasn’t going to allow herself to lose him.

“I love you.” She whispered to him, holding his head against hers. Tears falling from her eyes, this was the first time she cried and this was the first time Damian had seen her tears.

“I love you too.” He replied back sincerely.

They shared a tight hug after and Raven’s violet eyes turned red and the whites were black as she gave a sly smile. 

The beauty of this earth was only Damian, if he was not here– turning this place the way her father wants wouldn’t be a problem. 

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