#detransitioning

fabfemmeboy:

metapianycist:

detransitioning stories that don’t need more publicity:

1. i detransitioned because my feelings were entirely due to internalized misogyny, and I believe that all trans people are just gnc people of their birth assigned gender who either suffer from internalized misogyny or are fetishizing women
2. i detransitioned because i was confused about my identity and I blame doctors / trans people
3. i detransitioned because transition isn’t God’s plan for anyone

detransitioning stories that need to be boosted:

1. i detransitioned because my identity changed, and i don’t regret my transition.
2. i detransitioned because i was confused about my identity, and I regret transition, but i don’t blame other people for my own choices, and I don’t believe that my experience is representative of most people who transition. i believe that further restrictions on who is allowed to medically transition would do more harm than good.
3. i detransitioned for my safety, because I live in a place where it’s not safe for me to transition socially or medically.

terfs prey on detransitioning people. detransitioning people are at great risk of getting sucked into terf echo chambers. we trans people need to support detransitioning people because they are not our enemies. the trauma of heteronormative gender roles can be difficult to tease apart from dysphoria, and we need to be sensitive to our fellow humans who just want to feel comfortable in their skin. we need to make it okay for people to change their identities, and try out identities to see if they work.

fearmongering directed at young trans people like “make sure you’re REALLY trans before you [medically] transition, because if you’re not it will give you dysphoria” introduces social pressure to prove to other trans people that you’re really trans, which actually increases the likelihood that a person will transition and regret it. because you’re holding validation of their current identity hostage. if someone eventually detransitions, you shouldn’t add to their trauma later by now giving them an inner “i told you so, you weren’t really trans” voice.

Other detransition narratives that need to be boosted and respected:

4. I detransitioned because it was simply far too expensive for me to be able to afford a body that reflected my identity, and I decided that I would rather live in my sad-but-familiar form than an expensive hybrid.

5. I detransitioned because I did not have the necessary time and energy to keep up the absurd amount of work that it took to reliably pass as female.

6. I detransitioned for my mental and social health, because I live in a place/situation where the act of transition was causing me to be cut off from all support.

7. I detransitioned because my medical circumstances were incompatible with continued physical transition.

These, like #3 above, are not situations where detransition is particularly voluntary, but are a product of the circumstances and society in which a person transitions.  I’ve known several people who have detransitioned for precisely these reasons, and it was certainly not an easy choice for them or one that they took lightly.  Their identities have not changed (to the best of my knowledge), and if they could wake up tomorrow in a body that matched their identity they would.  But that’s unfortunately the way life goes sometimes.

butchofthemoon:

butchofthemoon:

butchofthemoon:

just saw a post where someone put “detrans dni” and like… hey we should be supporting detransitioned people bc if we don’t terfs will

sometimes you’re wrong about your identity and that’s ok like i used to think i was bi but it turns out i was wrong and i know ppl who thought they were trans but it turns out they were wrong and it should be ok and accepted that sometimes people don’t get it right on the first try

@shadowknight1224 this is an excellent way of putting it thank you

There’s literally no point in telling teenagers online that gender ‘does not exist’ and therefore their gender is also ‘fake’ and that they /are/ their biological sex.
I was there. I was a dysphoric teenager. I did not see how I could possibly not be an FtM; everything fit. Random people online sending me messages about how I was actually ‘just’ a lesbian did not make me change my mind or reconsider things. In fact, it just made me more convinced that I’d have to show everyone what a good guy I could make. And that’s what I did. It worked for quite some years.

Now I’m in my late twenties and I identify as a lesbian; not as an FtM anymore. It hurts to see people approaching those with gender dysphoria the way I was approached, as it doesn’t make anything better. It only made me bitter.

What does help, is to see diversity. Different stories. Know that there are many options. Feeling understood; that you’re not alone.

It all boils down to the fact that I’d prefer everyone to see me as a woman again, except for straight cis men that I’m not befriended with.