#dissappointment
Sorry guys I dissapeared for awhile. I went to treatment and couldnt remember my fucking password
Today has been a downwards spiral of dissapointment and anger. First off I woke up this morning and remembered that I have to take the tsi exam(a mandatory exam in texas if you wish to enroll into a college). Fuck me. On top of that I have to continue working on the house im moving into, we’ll call this house, house #2, and the house i’ve lived in for the past 12 or so years, house #1. We’re at the “moving furniture in” stage. So I took my exam and got good scores on all three topics, reading, writing, and math. So when I get into Del Mar College I don’t have to spend extra years in remedial classes. So I get home and start putting everything I can into bags for moving. My father rented a Uhual truck to make things easier. After helping my father load the last two iteams of furniture into house #2, 2 things happen at once. My sister cuts her finger while trying to remove something I don’t remember what it was, and I get a text from my girlfriend. Obviously I help my sister out first. After I assessed the situation and see that she’s not bleeding that much I move to the garage to try to inform my mother of the event that had occurred. My mother is currently trying to figure out with my dad on how to get the couch out of the uhaul and into house #2 effectively. So when im at the entrence of the bed of the Uhaul i call out for my mother saying mom. She didn’t respond so i call out louder. Take note that my grandpa is right next to me and i didn’t want to bother him with something so small. Also I don’t belive he would be much help considering that he dosn’t know whats all in the house bandaids included and he has Parkinsons. So I get closer to my mother and call out louder. She still does not respond. So now I yell for my mother at this piont, but she is still there in the uhal talking with my dad trying to figure out the best way to get the couch out and into the house. At this piont im even clapping my hands together and yelling and making crazy hand gestures to get her attention, and yet still no reaction. This is starting to freak me out because she should at the very least look at my direction. So now I yell that my sister has cut herself and then she just goes into shock and immediately asks me if she is bleeding all concerned like naturally. So I tell her “no not really is was a small cut,” and now she sighs with relief knowing that her daughter is safe. She then turns this on me and get mad at me for yelling and clapping to get her attention and for not asking her father, my grandpa for aid. Internally I was like “Nigga… wtf.” Like omg for fucking real? She had full god damned knowledge that I was trying to get her attention even in unconventional ways and she purposefully ignored me, and I did absolutely nothing to diserve this kind of treatment, like just a few hours ago she was praising me for getting good scores on my tsi. After this I was throughly ticked off at my mother for being so careless. I never yell to get her attention unless something loud is going off that requires yelling. So honestly im suprised in a bad way that me yelling to get her attention did not trigger somthing in her head that is like. “Omg my son is yelling for me . He never does that. Wtf hes even clapping. I better see whats happening.” So to cool off i see what notification I received because I was on break and it’s my gf. And im reading it and she tells me that Panic at the Disco in playing tonight. I was like “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” And then I remembered that there is a house to finish and I was like “awwwwwwwwwwwww :(” So after these events nothing significant happened. Then I finally get to home #1 and plop onto the bed tired and strained af. Then something pops into my head. The other day was dark souls reset day :(. I cant play dark souls 1. My body hurts. All I can do is post on my tumblr my problmes. AND ANOTHER THING! I missed the tavern brawl and 1 of my quests on hearthstone today :’( today was a preety big first world problem for me. Execpt the mother part that was the biggest and quite honeslty the most thing that pissed me off. I still kinda am.
you know the feeling when you disappoint loved ones who don’t blame you at all for it and accept that you tried your best? sucks unreasonably so damn much, doesn’t it?
