A sigil to stop forgetting things! I made this specifically for my phone as a background so I can stop leaving it everywhere and panicking when I can’t find it.
She grabs the cigarette and stares at the sky, while the smoke becomes memories, while the smoke becomes an illusion just like he was. Tears fill her eyes while she remembers everything that went down, every laugh, every smile, his voice, his jokes, his hugs and their talks, the good and bad ones. She remembers their golden moments, all of their moments, she imagines him blending in with the smoke, she imagines him standing next to her, talking to her.
The tears flow freely now, tears of happiness and sadness, and she laughs, smiling the way only he can make her, her laugh radiates shocking her. She grabs the cigarette and blows another smoke, imagining him lecturing her and trying to stop her before she starts her addiction, before she tastes the first cigarette. She imagines him distancing himself, progressively ignoring her, starting to replace her, she imagines him forgetting about her. The tears of sadness flow freely now, the only person that she could cry for.
She imagines him pulling away progressively and forgetting about her, she imagines him walking on thin ice around her, she imagines him replacing her and hurting her in ways only he can. She imagines him forgetting about everything they went through together but she wasn’t truly imagining wasn’t she? The cigarette is making her see clearer than before. She blows again and throws the end of the cigarette on the ground, crushing it with her feet the way the cigarette crushed their friendship, or was it just an illusion he chose to believe?
She wasn’t the one drowning in illusions, he was, and while he was drowning in those illusions and replacing her, her love for him started to fade, the way the cigarette’s smoke blows away in the wind. Everything crumbled just like the cigarette under her foot and she realizes, the love he had for her was only worth a cigarette and just like that it faded but the ruins are still burning deep in her soul because losing him made her choose the cigarette and thus his illusion became a reality.
It’s a rough one tonight. Lack of sleep has drove me to forget my next move. My next thought. Where am I suppose to be going? What I am suppose to be doing? Am I suppose to have tears rolling down my cheeks? It sounds like water is trapped in my ears and it’s making it hard to hear. It’s making it hard to think. What should I think next?
