#hopeful quotes

please hold onto your hope. don’t let it slip away.

-shelby leigh

I am an anglerfish

trudging along in the immense darkness that is the deep sea.

someday, when our lights collide, we will find each other.

those distant little stars will glow with recognition: “this is what I’ve been looking for.”

all this time, finally

and you will bare your teeth and sink them into my belly like a wolf on a rabbit.

you will latch and you will not release.

and long after we fuse

you will wither away

until all that remains is the useless appendage of your memory, molded into me.

you will be the lumps on my flesh, feeding off my blood through our intertwined vessels.

dependent and senseless. a parasite.

all that is left of you

will be because of me

and we will be one

but you will be nothing

and I will be everything.

— alhwrites

I think you are meant to stay in my heart, but not in my life. I love you, but I can’t keep self sacrificing so much for you. I care about you, but I have to care about me too. Please understand.

— alhwrites

you will never get what you deserve if you stay with what you tolerate.

— alhwrites

you are the most permanent thing in your life. always. that won’t change. ever. so put you first. prioritize you. choose you. you, you, you. your needs, your wants, your dreams, your feelings, your happiness, your peace. never sacrifice any of that, and do not spend your entire life treating people who might be temporary better than you treat yourself.

— alhwrites

especially if they act like a temporary person: bare minimum, low effort, confusing, unkind, shitty, toxic.

I feel like other people maybe have a bigger impact on me than I do on them. I adore humanity, so I tend to hold on to whoever and whatever I can. The memories, experiences, and feelings I share with another person affect me so much. They help me change and grow, molding me into a better version of myself. I think other people are so wonderful and valuable and special, even if they weren’t the nicest to me. I think about them often, and am always thankful for the time we had together. Or, at the very least, thankful for the lessons I learned from them. A part of me will miss them forever; once you’re important to me, you stay that way, however much. I still have love for everyone I’ve ever cared about, all circumstances aside. But I can’t imagine anyone feeling the same in regards to me. It’s like I’m a speck of dust on the floor of a big house, something to overlook. A word in their vocabulary that isn’t spoken often. A fleeting moment that they won’t dwell on. A temporary character, someone they’re ready to leave behind. I can’t fathom someone remembering me once we exit each other’s lives, like all I am is forgettable. It doesn’t bother me too much, I guess, because you’re supposed to move on. That’s how it is. I just hope the people I’ve met got something positive or meaningful out of their time with me.

— alhwrites

I know this isn’t something you want to hear, but I think it’s something you need to hear: sometimes someone’s inability to love you the right way is not their fault. If you are the first person to show someone pure, genuine love, they may not know how to reciprocate because they’ve never experienced it before. In turn, they may not know how to give it back. This doesn’t mean that it’s your job to teach them, that you have to tolerate it, or that you deserve it, but I’ve found it incredibly helpful in my own healing to understand that sometimes people aren’t hurting you or treating you poorly intentionally. Sometimes people will self sabotage good things because they don’t think they’re worthy of it. Sometimes they just don’t know what to do, so they ruin it, whether that be by running away, being disrespectful, or causing pain. Sometimes, people still have their own growing to do. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you, it’s just that you happened to be there in the collateral damage. I don’t say this to justify any of their bad actions, but to offer a different perspective that may aid you in forgiving and ultimately reaching your peace.

— alhwrites

do you dream of me as often as I dream of you? when will it stop, and do I even want it to?

— alhwrites

death is a woman in love.

— alhwrites

My apartment has roaches.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not infested, and I’m not disgusting. I just moved in and noticed one too many, is all. So I’ve been fighting with them a little, placing down those boric acid capsules they’re supposed to eat and take back to the base, occasionally spraying bug poison around the baseboards. The works.

One night, I’d stayed up particularly late, and managed to single one out. The unlucky fool that came out of hiding. Mercilessly, I got my Raid and sprayed it. (And I mean sprayed it.) Then I waited. Watched it twitch and struggle. Sprayed it again. Waited. Watched it flip and roll. Sprayed it again. Waited. Sprayed it again. Waited. Repeat. Repeat. It didn’t matter that it would probably be dead in ten minutes if I’d just leave it alone. I kept spraying, just to make sure. Because it kept trying. Actually, it’s almost like every dousing brought life back into it, gave it the motivation to momentarily struggle some more. It obviously wasn’t going to last. I obviously didn’t want it there. Nevertheless, it persisted. It was frustrating, but admirable, I guess. Didn’t change the fact that it was a roach, or that I can’t stand them, but I’ll give credit where credit is due. It would’ve been so much easier if it would’ve just stopped after the first time. The second time, even. I knew—I think we both knew—how it was going to end. There was no changing the outcome. But the bastard kept trying.

It made me think of you, actually.

Anyway, my apartment has roaches.

— alhwrites