#horoscope meme

Horoscope: For the last time: Yes, there is a parasitic life form growing in some sort of pod deep inside your body, but this is perfectly normal for a pregnant woman.

What’snotnormal is that the spiciest thing you’ve done lately is eat an all-jalapeno-popper diet and yesterday you didn’t have a gut. 

Horoscope: That high school experiment where you had to take care of an egg for a week like it was your baby will prove nightmarishly prophetic.

Here’s hoping she doesn’t try to give her a bath. 

Horoscope: Exciting changes await you in the coming days as Evolution decides you’ve been getting a little TOO comfy in your unique evolutionary niche.

Laura is pure evil and she’s not even trying to hide it. I haven’t seen this level of pure big-bitch debochin energy since Milk Prime. 

To be clear, this is a VERY VERY GOOD THING. 

See you all on friday! 

Horoscope: The little voice inside your head will be powerless to stop the barrage of Q-tips this week.

Finally, she had managed to get that song out of her head. 

Horoscope: One day you’ll buy the underwear you will die in. Go love somebody.

If she’s taking it as encouragement, so should you. 

Horoscope: The stars want to encourage you in your core beliefs, specifically your saying of: “If you can’t handle me at my worst (crying in the shower), you don’t deserve me at my best (crying in the shower while eating cake).”

The only version of ‘Cooking by the Book’ Hime has heard is the one with Lil’ Jon in it. It got awkward when Megumi and Yuko first brought it up. 

Iona sang along with Hime. 

Horoscope: Much like the little mermaid, you will sell your soul to a dark power for the chance to become human. Unlike the little mermaid, however, you’re selling yours to get a shamrock shake.

So the magical wish-granting rock that made Mofurun human thought that humans had fluffy bear tails and ears. It’s either not sure what a human is or not that all-powerful. 

Horoscope: Conflicts at work and at home are cleared up instantly this week when you decide that all women are basically just crazy bitches.

You, most of all. 

Horoscope: You’ll feel like a million bucks this week when security guards escort you across town, unload you from the back of an armored truck, and lock you deep inside a bank vault.

Ever wonder how many world-saving items are lost in Labyrinth’s vaults? I do. 

Horoscope: Financial experts know that a number of factors are to blame for the downturn, but they won’t be able to shake the hunch that it was all your fault somehow.

Kirara hates Wall Street pass it on.