#horoscope meme

WATER
(We’re sooo close to 4.000 followers OMG)

EARTH

Sorry for not posting I didn’t really know what kind of content I wanted to upload further but I think I’ll stick with both memes and regular zodiac facts what do you guys think? Any suggestions?

Horoscope: The stars have swiped left on your love life.

Not surprised, exactly, but the email was a nice final cherry on that particular pile of-

Horoscope: Actually, Frankenstein is the doctor. The monster is you.

Be fair, the doctor ain’t jockeying for first in the halo-handout line. 

Horoscope: You know what they say, gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelette. Unfortunately for you that means sacrificing someone close to you to gain immortality. Your lucky color today is yellow.

Please bear in mind that Kurumi here is one of my favorites, and not one of the ones I’d leave behind at a gas station on a long car trip. 

I’m guilty of a lot but playing favorites ain’t one of them. 

Horoscope: Look at you. Barely a month into the new year and you’re already breaking your resolution to stop falling into gorges and getting obnoxiously loud at the sight of babies. 

You’d think gorges would at least be easy to avoid but here we are- stuck in a gorge. 

Horoscope: You’ll come in second place at a major competition this week! Unfortunately, it’s a duel.

The silver medal is still good- just less so when it’s spelled with a ‘t’ and it’s coming out of a gun.

Horoscope: Be assured that the Author of all Creation has a plan for you. Unfortunately, it involves a hackneyed “evil twin” plot twist you’ll see coming a mile away.

Several miles away. She’s been waiting for five minutes for this fight to start. 

Horoscope: Your eyes go black and birds fall out of the sky as you smile for the first time in centuries. All is transpiring according to prophecy.

Picked a bad day to visit the bird sanctuary. 

Horoscope: The only thing holding you back from your dreams is you, and the threat of imprisonment. 

*caption replaced by ominous guitar sting and a rattlesnake rattling.* 

Horoscope: Give yourself a little credit today. Not everyone could screw up so badly in such a variety of ways. 

Her face is just “I know but-!” 

Horoscope: You’ve always been a fashion-forward trendsetter, which is why, after next Thursday, they’ll all be saying that getting shot in the face is the new Black. 

“And it costs how much!?” 

Horoscope: The stars are just getting: “ Don’t tell me that I scared the goddamn dog. I’m not going to let some goddamn dog tell me how to run my life!” Do you have any idea what that means, Leo? 

Unfortunately, Chiyu knew all too well what that meant. 

Horoscope: Years of enduring the constant, numbing pain of existence will end this week when you discover “whiskey,” a magical drink that makes your problems disappear.

This magical drink is called ‘high powered magnets’ for Lulu there. 

Horoscope: A passionate and intelligent debate over semantics this week will unfortunately get bogged down by pragmatics.

Tag yourself and your friend- or however this hellsite works I don’t know anymore. 

Horoscope: Your idea was brilliantly executed, but even in today’s instant-gratification culture, you won’t sell more than a few dozen copies of Learn Rock Guitar In 45 Seconds.

Call now and receive a free cookbook! It’s all one cake recipe. It’s that strawberry cake. That’s all you EVER GET. 

Horoscope: For the last time: Yes, there is a parasitic life form growing in some sort of pod deep inside your body, but this is perfectly normal for a pregnant woman.

What’snotnormal is that the spiciest thing you’ve done lately is eat an all-jalapeno-popper diet and yesterday you didn’t have a gut. 

Horoscope: That high school experiment where you had to take care of an egg for a week like it was your baby will prove nightmarishly prophetic.

Here’s hoping she doesn’t try to give her a bath. 

Horoscope: Exciting changes await you in the coming days as Evolution decides you’ve been getting a little TOO comfy in your unique evolutionary niche.

Laura is pure evil and she’s not even trying to hide it. I haven’t seen this level of pure big-bitch debochin energy since Milk Prime. 

To be clear, this is a VERY VERY GOOD THING. 

See you all on friday! 

Horoscope: The little voice inside your head will be powerless to stop the barrage of Q-tips this week.

Finally, she had managed to get that song out of her head. 

Horoscope: One day you’ll buy the underwear you will die in. Go love somebody.

If she’s taking it as encouragement, so should you. 

Horoscope: The stars want to encourage you in your core beliefs, specifically your saying of: “If you can’t handle me at my worst (crying in the shower), you don’t deserve me at my best (crying in the shower while eating cake).”

The only version of ‘Cooking by the Book’ Hime has heard is the one with Lil’ Jon in it. It got awkward when Megumi and Yuko first brought it up. 

Iona sang along with Hime.