#precure meme

Horoscope: The stars have swiped left on your love life.

Not surprised, exactly, but the email was a nice final cherry on that particular pile of-

Horoscope: Actually, Frankenstein is the doctor. The monster is you.

Be fair, the doctor ain’t jockeying for first in the halo-handout line. 

Horoscope: Things seem tough right now, but don’t worry. Godzilla never gives you more than you can handle.

Where there was only one giant footprint, that is where Godzilla carried you. 

Horoscope: You know what they say, gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelette. Unfortunately for you that means sacrificing someone close to you to gain immortality. Your lucky color today is yellow.

Please bear in mind that Kurumi here is one of my favorites, and not one of the ones I’d leave behind at a gas station on a long car trip. 

I’m guilty of a lot but playing favorites ain’t one of them. 

Horoscope:The stars hate you. Maybe try tarot or taking responsibility for your own life.

Or at least what little of it you have left?

Horoscope: You’ll come in second place at a major competition this week! Unfortunately, it’s a duel.

The silver medal is still good- just less so when it’s spelled with a ‘t’ and it’s coming out of a gun.

Horoscope: Be assured that the Author of all Creation has a plan for you. Unfortunately, it involves a hackneyed “evil twin” plot twist you’ll see coming a mile away.

Several miles away. She’s been waiting for five minutes for this fight to start. 

Horoscope: No matter how bad things get, or how hopeless life may seem, you can always go home again and take it out on your family.

Especially that b*tch Elizabeth. 

Horoscope: Your eyes go black and birds fall out of the sky as you smile for the first time in centuries. All is transpiring according to prophecy.

Picked a bad day to visit the bird sanctuary. 

Horoscope: The only thing holding you back from your dreams is you, and the threat of imprisonment. 

*caption replaced by ominous guitar sting and a rattlesnake rattling.* 

Horoscope: The stars are just getting: “ Don’t tell me that I scared the goddamn dog. I’m not going to let some goddamn dog tell me how to run my life!” Do you have any idea what that means, Leo? 

Unfortunately, Chiyu knew all too well what that meant. 

Horoscope: For the last time: Yes, there is a parasitic life form growing in some sort of pod deep inside your body, but this is perfectly normal for a pregnant woman.

What’snotnormal is that the spiciest thing you’ve done lately is eat an all-jalapeno-popper diet and yesterday you didn’t have a gut. 

Horoscope: The first step is admitting you have a problem.  The second step is throwing a large rock at the person who said you had a problem. The third step is going back to pretending you don’t have a problem.

Bunbee is about to experience round two of the second step in the back there- modified for the holiday, of course. 

Happy Easter! Or if you don’t celebrate, happy Pastel Lolita Appreciation Day! 

Horoscope: That high school experiment where you had to take care of an egg for a week like it was your baby will prove nightmarishly prophetic.

Here’s hoping she doesn’t try to give her a bath. 

Horoscope: The stars wouldn’t take the risks you do, but, hey, it’s your life for the next six months or so.

Felice isn’t my favorite but MAN that girl can beat wholesale ass. And, like my complicated feelings with Mana, it’s hard to completely hate a girl who’d just punch a dragon. 

See you all on monday! 

Horoscope: Your recent mishap with a bottle of vodka, a 50-gallon drum of turpentine, a Zippo, and a busload of orphans will inspire a very special episode of Baywatch.

I, for one, welcome our new overlords. 

The birthday of August 1st was taken from one of the precure wikis, so I assume it’s official. Subject to change if the show says otherwise, obviously, but for now the birthday list has been updated! 

See you all wednesday and remember to watch this one on Crunchyroll! It’s good for the series. 

Horoscope: The little voice inside your head will be powerless to stop the barrage of Q-tips this week.

Finally, she had managed to get that song out of her head. 

Horoscope: All signs point to shame.

Where’s the nun with the bell when you need her. 

Horoscope: The stars want to encourage you in your core beliefs, specifically your saying of: “If you can’t handle me at my worst (crying in the shower), you don’t deserve me at my best (crying in the shower while eating cake).”

The only version of ‘Cooking by the Book’ Hime has heard is the one with Lil’ Jon in it. It got awkward when Megumi and Yuko first brought it up. 

Iona sang along with Hime.