#ifairy

it’s okay if the phrase “born this way” doesn’t resonate with you. it doesn’t have to. if you’re trans and you were your assigned gender at some point, if your orientation is related to trauma, if you just don’t care if you were born this way or not… etc. etc. that’s all fine and good. we all have different stories and different ways of identifying ourselves. your queerness is just as meaningful and important and true as those who were born this way.

my mom is also intersex - and she was bullied relentlessy. when her hair was short, her peers harassed her for “looking like a boy.” these same peers were violent with her. so, she’d almost always let the hair dresser do whatever they wanted, as long as they didn’t cut it short. and it never made her happy.

but after literal decades, she finally got a pixie cut. a haircut she wanted. she looked so bright and happy after getting it, and she looks much more like herself. it wasn’t “just hair” for her; it was healing and joy. and i’m sure for some intersex, trans, nby, and gnc people reading this, it isn’t “just hair” for you, either.

if you’ve been holding off changing anything about your appearance because of bigotry or dismissal: please know that no matter what, you have permission to do what you want with your body. i and so many others support you. it’s never too late to do what makes you happy.

the relationship between the kink and queer communities is beautiful and they have done so much good together. i’m very thankful for all the kinksters and queers, present and past, who have worked to make our world a safer place.

you do not need to physically transition to wear the clothes you like. you do not need to physically transition to use your name and pronouns. you do not need to physically transition to stick up for yourself when people misgender you or call you the wrong name. you do not need to physically transition to be trans, and physically transitioning does not make anything you do as a trans person more valid.

you are entitled to your truth. you deserve the things that make you feel happy and empowered. regardless of where you are in your journey and what your journey looks like. there are no prerequisites to transness and trans self expression.

if you would wear it if you were skinny, you can wear it now. you should wear it now. you don’t have to be skinny to wear what you like and what makes you happy. fuck fatphobia. you’ll look amazing.

intersex as a general term isn’t a gender, but some people’s gender is intersex. some people also don’t identify as (i.e, aren’t) anything but intersex.

Intersex people, you don’t have to change for the world. Right now, in this very moment, the way you exist is perfect. No matter what anyone has told you, no matter what society has made you think; you are living proof of the beauty of nature. You are allowed to do whatever you want or need with your body. You can express your gender (or lack thereof) in whatever way feels right.

This is your life, no one else’s, and you deserve all the kindness and joy the world has to give. Intersexness is good. I am so happy you exist.

Just like how you aren’t made to fit clothes, you aren’t made to fit labels; labels are made to fit you. Just like how some people are most comfortable in oversized clothes or fitted clothes, you can be most comfortable using a label in a different way than others do. Because that’s the whole point.

Queer identities are conveyed by labels - these labels don’t determine the very specific way a person experiences their queerness. If we want queer liberation, the labels that express that queerness can’t be restricted. That goes against the whole purpose of liberation.

Don’t let bigotry - from nonqueers or other queers - stop you from being & expressing who you are. Your queerness is beautiful. You deserve to shine.