#incorrect hamilquotes
Washington: [walks in to see the Revolutionary Set in his living room]
Washington: Guys! I gave you a key for E-MER-GEN-CIES!
Laurens: We were out of DOR-I-TOS!
Washington: I need you to distract them.
Madison: I have an idea.
Madison: Should you microwave your cereal? Discuss.
Jefferson and Hamilton: [immediately start arguing]
Washington, looking at Hamilton passed out on the couch: Why isn’t he wearing a shirt?
Mulligan: He took it off when he challenged that raccoon.
Washington: There are many ways to resolve a conflict.
Eliza:Fire.
Burr:Gun.
Jefferson:Blackmail.
Washington: Why do I even bother.
Lafayette: That shirt looks great Alex!
Hamilton:Thanks!
Lafayette: But I bet it’d look better on John’s floor.
Laurens: Are…are you hitting on Alex for me?
Hamilton: Whatever you’re thinking right now, stop.
Jefferson:What?
Hamilton: You always make that face when you’re about to say something stupid to piss me off so cut it out-
Jefferson: I love you.
Hamilton:
Jefferson:
Hamilton:
Jefferson: Also cereal qualifies as soup.
Hamilton: I fucking knew it.
Hamilton: Dad, we’re sorry :(
Washington: I’m starting to think “Dad, we’re sorry” is my actual name because of how often you all say it to me.
Hamilton: God, sometimes Thomas makes me so angry.
Laurens: You’re sitting on his lap.
Hamilton:Angrily.
Washington: I’ve created a perfectly functional cabinet.
Hamilton: You have another cabinet we don’t know about?
Hamilton: You know how when you boil Pepsi it really opens up a different kind of flavor?
Washington:
Washington: When you fucking what
Hamilton: Look! I’m a tree!
Burr: And you will dialogue.
Murderer: [chasing Laurens around the house]
Laurens: Alexa, play the Scooby Doo theme song.
Burr: It must be hard not being able to laugh
Washington: I do have a sense of humor, you know.
Burr: I’ve never heard you laugh.
Washington: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.
Hamilton: Burr, where are you going?
Burr: Well that depends Alex. When I die, probably hell, but right now I’m going to the bathroom.
Jefferson: You remind me of the ocean.
Burr: Why? Because I’m deep and mysterious?
Jefferson: No. Because you’re salty as hell.
Burr: All the haters are like, “aren’t you wanted by the state?”
Burr: And it’s like, I’m wanted by a lot of people, okay? That’s the price of being pretty.
Burr: Anyways I did commit a smidge of treason
Burr, holding a box: You guys promise it won’t be bees again, right?
Laurens, from a distance: JUST OPEN IT
Hamilton: Ok, I ruined your life but didn’t you have fun? Exactly relax.
Washington: It costs $0 to keep rude comments to yourself.
Hamilton: It also costs $0 to shout them for everyone to hear so,,,
Hamilton: I once got a haircut I deeply regretted
Jefferson: Is it the one you have now?
Hamilton:No.
Jefferson: Well it should be.
