Author:somemaycallmesunshine Pairing: Matt Cohen x Reader Reader Gender:Female Word Count:2k Warnings: fluff (is that a warning?), swearing, reader has self-confidence issues, mentions of anxiety/depression
A/N: Hi, everyone! Sorry this took so long. I first want to thank everyone who liked or followed this story and for everyone who still is reading it despite my absence. It means so much to me. I hope you enjoy this next chapter! (Internal thoughts are in italics)
Summary: You had long dreamt of meeting your hero Matt Cohen and thanking him for changing your life. But now with SPNCon rolling around, you finally get your chance, and it’s more than you could have ever imagined.
You checked yourself in the mirror for the umpteenth time. You didn’t have anything to wear for a day out with your hero so you asked your friend Cecelia, who, just like friends do, let you borrow a cute sundress she brought. But not without the price of grilling you on the details.
“Come on! At least show me a picture of your mystery date!” She pouted.
“It’s not a date, Cece.” You insisted.
She snorted, “Yeah right. What kind of guy asks you on a whim to eat lunch with him alone and tells you how special you are? Not to mention he just met you. Face it, Y/N. He totally asked you out.” She sighed as she flopped onto the hotel bed. “God, why don’t these kinds of things happen to me?”
You hesitated for a moment, fiddling with your hands. “Cece, what if it’s not all it’s cracked up to be?” You asked, your voice low and hands shaking. “What if this is just a game? What if he’s just using me?”
Cecilia frowned, “You know he’s not.” But your unconvinced expression told her otherwise. “Y/N, you’ve gotta be a little more hopeful about this. This is someone new, this mysterious and probably hot and handsome stranger asking you out on a friggin’ date for god sakes! It’s like a dream!”
“And what if that’s all this’ll be? Just some stupid dream that ends up being a complete nightmare?”
“I don’t think that’ll happen.” She replied. “Not everyone is like Barron, you know.”
You sucked in a deep breath, knowing that what she said was true but the doubt still lingered in your mind. You weren’t one for fairy tales and happy endings. They just didn’t happen to you. And you weren’t going to start believing in them now just because some gorgeous guy supposedly asked you out.
You turned away from the mirror to face her, changing the subject. “How do I look?” Truthfully, whatever your friend said, you felt a little strange. You never dressed up for anything really and it was one the first times in your life you ever put that much effort into make up and hair. Your reflection almost made it seem like you were a completely different person.
Cece gave you a wink, “Rawr.” She made a sound similar to a purring cat. “Trust me. He won’t be able to resist.” You grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it into her face.
“Hey! What the hell?”
“You’re crazy.” You snorted.
She smirked and kicked at your heels, “Yeah but you love it. Now get going or you’re gonna be late for Prince Charming!”
Matt fiddled with his collared shirt and tried combing his unruly hair once more before turning back to his friends, Richard and Rob. “There. How do I look?”
“Like a friggin’ archangel.” Richard snickered and pinched Matt’s cheeks. Matt swatted his hand away and Richard’s snickers turned into full on guffaws.
Rob shook his head, “I still say it’s a little weird. You met her yesterday, right?” Matt nodded his head and he continued, “So what – do you like her or something? I mean, it’s not like you to wanna just pick girls up on a whim.”
“Um no. Girls wanna pick him up. I mean, have you seen the ass on this guy? He’s fucking blessed.” Rich snorted.
Matt rolled his eyes and ignored his friend. “It’s hard to explain. It was… It was a feeling, you know?” He paused for a moment, biting his lip to help collect his thoughts but they all traced back to your smiling face. “It was like God was opening this door of opportunity and I had to take it – seriously, you’re a fucking perv, Rich.” He scoffed as he watched his friend collapse in tears.
“Face it. You walked right into that one though, dude.” Rob smirked.
Sometimes Matt wondered why he was best friends with those psychos but he couldn’t help but love them. He sighed and glanced at his watch and his eyes widened, “Shit! I’m gonna be late!”
As he bolted out the door, he heard Richard holler, “Use protection, Matty!” And he flipped him off.
You couldn’t stop the thrumming in your heart as you waited in the lobby. You tapped your toes on the ground and checked your phone to try to calm yourself down but it still didn’t seem real. Matt had asked you to lunch and half of you thought it was a dream you were more than excited to experience and the other half thought it was too good to be true.
Maybe I was just dreaming it all up. You thought as your heart sank but just as it had, it lifted and raced as you spotted the all too familiar face enter the lobby.
Several heads turned as they saw him and some folks who had gone to the convention gasped and squealed upon seeing him but once he spotted you, yours was the only face he saw. He dashed to you, bypassing the spectators nearby and that was when you realized you hadn’t dreamt it at all. It was a reality and you were about to live it and you didn’t know whether you were bursting from excitement or trembling from that nagging fear that you would mess it up.
“Y/N, hey. Sorry for being late.” Matt remarked, giving you a quick hug. “Rich and Rob kept me but hopefully you didn’t wait too long.”
You shook your head, “No I didn’t.”
Matt’s nervous expression turned to one of relief as he sighed with a grin, “That’s good. I would’ve hated it if I worried you.”
“Truthfully I’m surprised you remembered.” You admitted.
His eyes grew wide before he frowned, “And forget about you and our special day together? Keep dreaming, Y/N.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Speaking of that, I made us a reservation in an hour so shall we go, m'lady?” He drawled in a fake British accent, holding his arm out.
You hooked your arm in his and nodded. He squeezed your arm against his as you both headed for the parking lot.
You were dreaming. You had to be. There was just no other explanation as to why Matt not only asked you to have lunch with him but followed through with his plans and took you to the quaintest restaurant you’d ever seen. It was like a little slice of Italy with pictures of olive groves and Tuscan villas decorating the walls and the sweet smell of garlic and tomatoes wafting through the air. They had the sweetest staff and you both wound up in a corner booth a ways away from the other customers.
“Any friend of Rob’s is a friend of ours.” The owner, a tiny Italian woman who looked like a grandma grinned at you as she took your orders.
“I’ll have the special.” Matt remarked before turning to you, “What would you like, sweetheart?”
You blushed at the nickname but Matt didn’t seem to notice the effect he had on you. Nevertheless, the waitress was awaiting the response and you didn’t want to keep her waiting. You glanced at the menu, hiding behind its pages before ordering the same thing and the woman left you both alone.
“I don’t think I said this yet but you look beautiful.” Matt grinned.
You almost thought it was his goal that day to make you blush constantly. You fiddled with your sleeves as heat rose into your cheeks, “You’re just saying that –”
“Trust me. I’m not. You really do look great today, Y/N.”
You ducked your head, feeling even warmer, “Thanks. You – you look great today too –not that you don’t look great everyday! Im sure you look amazing everyday – oh God, I’m digging myself in a hole aren’t I?”
Matt chuckled, amused. “I’m glad you think so, sweetheart.” He winked.
You were pretty sure your face was now officially on fire so you hid your face behind your hands. “I just need to shut up. I’m such an idiot.”
“Hey, no, Y/N.” Matt frowned, “Look at me.”
You shook you head and he sighed. “Y/N, please.” His voice grew serious and you peeked behind your hands for the briefest moment before relenting and letting them drop. Then you lifted your gaze and met his green orbs as he replied, “Thank you.”
You nodded, feeling your throat run dry as he continued. “You’re not an idiot, okay? I know we don’t know each other much but trust me when I say you aren’t. And for the record, I didn’t mind the rambling. I thought it was adorable.”
You flinched, reliving the words that made you feel humiliated. “Sorry about that…”
“You don’t have to apologize, you know, for anything. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But –”
He put his hand out and placed it over yours which easily shut you up. “Y/N, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for. Alright?”
Your throat seemed to swell and your eyes sting from the unshed tears that always seemed to appear at the drop of a hat. But Matt didn’t seem to mind. He tilted your chin up, allowing you to gaze once more at his handsome face. His eyes searched yours, awaiting a response so you nodded your head.
He beamed and his whole face lit up. “Well alright.”
Before you could say anything, the waitress returned, bringing over your plates of food. Upon seeing you both, she rushed with placing the plates in front of you before disappearing with a knowing wink. And just like that, you were blushing all over again.
“Man, Rob wasn’t kidding when he said this place was good.” Matt sighed, patting his belly as the both of you walked out of the restaurant.
You nodded, “I don’t think I can even eat dinner.”
“Tell me about it. I’m not even sure I could eat breakfast tomorrow, but do you know what sounds pretty good right now?” He asked and you shook your head. “A nice, cold pint. I could go for a pale ale or something to cool down after all that chow.”
You gestured in front of you. “I saw a bar a few blocks down if you wanna check it out.”
Matt’s eyes sparkled as he turned to you, “Only if you check it out with me.”
You wrinkled your nose in displeasure, “Okay, but… I’m not much of a beer person.”
“You’re kidding.” He deadpanned.
“It tastes like piss.”
He snorted, “Only if you haven’t tried the good stuff.” You didn’t look convinced and he smirked, “That’s fine. I’m up for the challenge. I’ll school you on good beer and in return, I’d like you to do something for me.”
“What’s that?”
“I want you to stop speaking so negatively about yourself.” He replied and though you opened your mouth to object, he continued. “I know it’s hard and I know you don’t want to do it, but it would make me really happy if you stopped criticizing yourself when you’re a strong and beautiful woman. Okay? So can you do it? Please? For me?” He batted his lashes at you and you turned to mush.
You bit your lip, wishing you could not only refuse him but stop yourself from turning scarlet again but it was as though your mouth betrayed your mind. “So you really think I’m strong?”
He nodded, “And beautiful.”
“… Fine.”
Matt grinned and his eyes twinkled with glee. “Perfect! And for every negative comment you say about yourself, you gotta find five things you like about yourself.”
Your eyes widened, “Hey! Wait a minute! I didn’t sign up for that!” You hollered but he was already bounding ahead of you, skipping like a child.
“You’re not gonna regret this! I promise.” He called out as you chased him into the bar.
I keep fantasizing about how cool it would be if humans were supernatural creatures and their powers and physical features were based on their sun, moon, and rising sign.
Hear me out: sun signs determine the basic physical features like nails that are strong like claws or goat horns or gills that can be activated and deactivated. Moon signs determine what powers you have; Aries moon can have pyrokinesis, Gemini moon can multiply, Leo moon can manipulate heat and fire solar beams, etc. And the ascendant can determine your color scheme, physique, and secondary characteristics like hair and eyes. Hehe sorry, excuse my brain fart
If that were the case, I’d be a psychic centaur with water and empath powers with a gryffindor color scheme.
….Write a book about this. Now. I want to read it.
okay no maybe not a book but like make a chart!!!!! with all the stuff!!!! please!!!!!!!
Alrighty as promised I’ll make a chart of this
Aries
Sun: Ram horns regardless of gender, strong foreheads, and bones are stronger than average since they’re prone to injury
Moon: Pyrokinesis, quick self healing factor, or precognition
Rising: Red and orange color scheme, hair often curly but can be any “natural” color, eyes are either a warm red or a bright orange, most are average height or smaller
Taurus
Sun: Bull horns regardless of gender, large hands in proportion to their bodies, and stomachs and immune system allow them to eat anything without harm
Moon: Super strength, stone manipulation, or can communicate with any mammal
Rising: Brown and green color scheme, eyes could be either color, hair often thick and usually black, green, or brown, often either chubby or beefy physique (some more or less thick than others)
Gemini
Sun: Second set of arms, eyes can zoom in and out of long distant range, and have a much easier time learning other languages than others
Moon: Super speed, can shapeshift into any human form, or physical duplication
Rising: Color scheme is light blue and yellow, eyes can be either color, hair can be any “unnatural” color, physique varies but they have long legs proportionate to their height
Cancer
Sun: Hands can morph into crab claws (color determined by rising), skin glitters when exposed to moonlight, all of them are empaths
Moon: Lunar abilities ( produce and shoot lunar beams, control tides; however this can only be accessed at night), psychic absorption (can absorb and use one power at a time, this only tires the victim) , or producing force fields
Rising: Silver and shades of blue color scheme, eyes can be either color and are very glossy, hair is either blue or black, tend to be short
Leo
Sun: Feline like canines, nails are long and strong like claws, skin glitters when exposed to sunlight
Moon: Solar abilities (produce and shoot solar beams and control heat; this can only be accessed during the day), laser eyes, or sonic boom roar (explosive, can physically push away anything in its close range)
Rising: Gold and red color scheme, eyes are often gold, hair almost always big no mater the length, can be any “natural” color, either really tall or really short
Virgo
Sun: Large feathered wings (color determined by rising), they look human otherwise
Moon: Portal creation, telekinesis, or poison manipulation
Rising: color scheme is green and yellow, eyes can be either color, hair is either brown or black base with any second color, physique varies but all have longer than average fingers
Libra
Sun: Skin on the hands and forearms are metallic gold or silver, have glowing eyes (color determined by rising), can always tell if you’re lying
Moon: Plant manipulation, siren song, or sonic scream (not explosive but can stun any living being in its range and break close enough objects)
Rising: Green and pink color scheme, eyes are either pink or yellow, hair is either white, brown, or pink, are often tall with wide hips regardless of gender
Scorpio
Sun: Fully functional scorpion tail (proportionate to their body), can easily see in the dark, very silent walkers who can sneak up on anyone
Moon: Shadow manipulation, mediumship (includes the dead and powerful spirits), or selective mind reading (can’t communicate mentally)
Rising: Black and red color scheme, eyes are either dark blue or bright red, hair can be any dark color, can easily blend in with their surrounding
Sagittarius
Sun: Can switch from biped to centaur and back, keeps their tail in any form, hair grows long and fast
Moon: Can shoot energy arrows or spears, light manipulation, or power jump (can leap as high as 50ft off the ground)
Rising: Orange and brown color scheme, eyes can be either color, hair is red or dirty blond, often tall but short ones are faster runners
Capricorn
Sun: Goat horns legs and hooves, pretty much satyrs
Moon: Ice manipulation, telepathy, or temporarily slow time
Rising: Brown and black color scheme, eyes are any shade of brown, hair is black but can have any secondary color, often average height and have a very fit physique but that varies, they throw some of the hardest punches
Aquarius
Sun: Are the most human looking of the signs but they always have at least one robotic body enhancement, can retain more information than the others
Moon: Electric manipulation, technopathy, or wind manipulation
Rising: Electric blue and black, eyes are any shade of blue, hair can be any bright “unnatural” color, often tall but body type varies
Pisces
Sun: Can switch from biped to mermaid and back (scale colors determined by rising), have a set of gills that closes on land, often have scales grown on stray parts of their body that shows even on land
Moon: Water manipulation, aura manipulation, or invisibility
Rising: Sea green and lavender color scheme, eyes can be either color, hair can be any shade of blue or purple, physique varies but they have large glossy eyes
Character A is a firm non-believer in anything relating to religion, the supernatural, or anything that cannot be proven by hard science. Character B is a ghost that’s been haunting Character A for what feels like ages, and they are so fed up with Character A’s “too cool for ghouls” attitude.
When Character A advertises that they’re in need of a roommate to split the rent with, Character C (a self-proclaimed medium) takes up the offer. Upon meeting Characters A and B, and feeling all of the bad energy between them, Character C deticates themself to doing a sort of “couples therapy” for them, and helping Character A realize that yes, ghosts really do exist.
Summary: Have you ever felt like you’re too far up your fandoms that you’re not really living your real life? Well, that. But more.
Word Count: 1,817
Pairings: Dean x reader, Sherlock x reader
Warnings: You’re not gonna like it. Sudden fandom changes, bit of smut which is not really smutty, lazy writing, suicidal attempt, usage of drugs and alcohol, OOC scenes.
Original A/N: Because of who I am, I like to exaggerate everything. With that being said, let me tell you that this is how I felt for many years, with multiple fandoms. I have lived a tortous life, therefore I was always seeking to live somewhere else. Almost all of my childhood and teenage years were an on-going loop between my fake life inside my fandoms and my real life. I barely remember anything now outside that make-pretend life I created for myself. Now I am living my life, in a way that I can no longer hide inside that fake life. Call it what you want. Anxiety is coming back to me, fyi, and I tried to hide there but I just can’t. This is my way of expressing it. The Girl, Interrupted theme is because I watched it yesterday after performing Lisa’s monologue at my acting class - a way of giving therapy to myself through art. Anyway, I hope you don’t read this fic. I didn’t like it at all, but I feel the need, nonetheless, to share it somewhere. To have evidence that I went through that. Probably, someone out there has too. Idk.
New A/N: I wrote this MONTHS ago, long before I got diagnosed, and I got scared of posting it because it could be too depressing. But I hate leaving drafts all alone so here goes nothing.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought you were moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy… Maybe it was loneliness…
“Put her in restraints!” A woman yelled. “Withdraw blood… Give her five milligrams of Valium, IV”
“Turn her head so she doesn’t aspirate,” another woman advised. I felt my head being turned by a pair of terribly warm hands.
I was attacked. I had been attacked.
“You should check my hand. There’s no bones in it anymore…”
“What were you thinking?” The first woman asked.
“I was trying to save the world…” I replied, “Don’t worry, you’ll thank me later.”
Sometimes it’s hard for me to stay in one place.
“Hey,” I opened my eyes at the familiar voice. The image at first was blurry, but I could recognize the colors of their flannel shirts. My back was killing me, and my arms felt numb. “(Y/N) are you okay?”
“Yo, sweetheart! Wake up!” A rough voice called out. I could see his red flannel.
Red flannel. Dean was wearing a red flannel, and Sam had the green one. That could only mean one thing…
I looked down at my own clothes, I was wearing a brown flannel.
I smiled childishly, and my vision finally cleared. Both men were staring at me, worried. “I’m home,” is all I could say.
Dean sighed and rolled his eyes, Sam smiled back at me.
“Yes, you are,” he said, “you’re home with us. Where else would you be?”
“At a hospital or some shit,” I replied.
“We don’t do no hospitals, sweetheart,” Dean reminded me from afar.
“Did we get him? The djinn?” I inquired, with wide eyes.
“Yup,” Sam nodded.
Dean appeared back again, handing me a cold beer. It was closed. Sam took my hand and guided it to my forehead, so I could press the bottle to my forehead. I was probably wounded there too.
“We Jafar-ed the shit out of him,” Dean snorted. Sam inhaled profoundly, as an attempt to not slap his brother. “I Jas-min that we almost didn’t make it…” Dean continued, “but enough Abu me,” he giggled, “how was your daydream, sweetheart? Where’d Iago?”
“Please, stop,” Sam begged. Dean tried to argue but Sam was already looking back at me. “But do tell us where did you go?”
“I…”
“Where did you go?”
“(Y/N)” a strong light blinded me for a second. I suddenly felt something in my eyes, pulling them open. “(Y/N), we’re calling you!” The voice chanted. “Hello, Earth requires Ms (Y/N)…”
“Wha-what?” I stuttered, pulling away from the light.
The scenery had changed. I was no longer at a motel room with awful wallpaper, but instead at a very nice living room, though the wallpaper was still awful.
“Are you okay?” The man that had been calling my name asked. He kneeled in front of me.
“Are you real?” I tilted my head to the side, and he smiled tenderly.
“As real as your nose,” he said and booped my nose. His touch was soft and warm.
“What happened?”
“You fainted,” another voice answered. I looked back, only to see the familiar figure of Sherlock sitting on his desk, typing furiously on his computer. “I told you not to get too close to the evidence, but did you listen? No, why?” He gazed back, “Because ‘oh Sherlock, don’t be so stern, it’s just a flower bouquet!’ but I was right, as usual.”
“Let her breath,” Watson commanded. “We both smelled it too and nothing bad happened.”
“Yes, but so did the police officers… All male, I must remind you” Sherlock snapped. “The flowers were sent to a woman who, where is she now? Oh, yes, DEAD!”
“I don’t get it,” I interfered.
“I suspect the flowers are poisoned with some sort of chemical that only affects women, by reacting to their production of hormones.” Sherlock informed me.
“Right… And what does that have to do with your intoxication?” The female voice asked again.
I suddenly snapped back to the hospital. I was laying in a hospital bed, with lots of tubles connected to me. There was a woman in white, sitting by my side with a notepad on her lap.
“Well, obviously I’ve been affected… It’s the flowers, you see…” I spoke.
“Flowers? What flowers?” The nurse, she was a nurse, asked again.
“The poisoned flowers!”
“Do you see them now?” She inquired.
“Of course not!”
“No?”
The djinn stood behind her. “Say no,” he said with an ominous voice.
“No,” I obeyed.
The nurse looked behind her and the djinn disappeared instantly. “Are you seeing anything out of the ordinary at the moment?”
“No, why would I? I’m not crazy,”
“At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were…” Dean sighed. He was sitting by my side, in bed, and was connecting his phone to the charger. “I am a little crazy too, you know?”
“Oh, yeah?” I trembled.
“Yeah,” he muttered and finally let go off his phone. He turned to look at me for a second before cuddling me. I was the small spoon, he was shirtless. “I’m crazy about you.”
“Smooth,” I replied sheepishly. I could feel the ghost of his arms around me… Ghost, because I couldn’t really feel him. He was hot, yet cold as if air was blowing over my skin.
“Are you okay?” Dean asked.
“I am.”
I wasn’t. I’m not okay.
“Good night, sweetheart,” he whispered and pecked my shoulder. Again, I felt it but not quite.
“Dean?”
“Huh?” I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what would happen after I said what I wnated to say.
“I feel like I’m still inside the djinn’s daydream,” I confessed.
Dean sat up and fixed a lose strand of hair that was falling over my eyes.
“You’re not inside a djinn’s daydream…” He said, calmly.
“How can you tell?” I asked, still not opening my eyes.
“Because djinns don’t exist, that’s why,” he said.
I finally opened my eyes. Black locks and blue eyes were all I could see for a moment.
“Djinns are mythological, and that is all…” Sherlock continued. I could hear his voice turning from Dean’s to his own. “I understand that maybe the toxins from the flowers could affect your perception of life, but there is nothing to fear. The effects will pass and you’ll be good as new.”
“I don’t feel good as new.”
“Clearly,” he grunted.
Noticing my state, he decided to go a little further from his usual behaviour. He pressed his head to my arm… I was still laying on my side, as if I was still being the small spoon.
“I will be here, by your side, as long as you let me.”
My heart fluttered, but not in love but rather in pain.
“I can’t control that.”
“The pills are having a positive effect on her now, we can get her to be conscious for a bit longer than before…” I heard a voice coming from the hall.
“What is that?” I asked. Sherlock tilted his head.
“What?” He furrowed, “I don’t hear anything.”
“Well, I do.”
I got up from bed and opened the door. At the other side of it was a hospital hall rather than Sherlock’s. All white, with blinding white lights. The nurse was talking to what I assumed was a doctor.
I felt like I would faint again.
Sherlock got up as well and dragged me back to the bed, closing the door behind us.
“You know what could help?” He smirked. “I know… Because I know you.”
He got me back in bed, facing up to the ceiling. I was about to talk, when I felt him pulling down my pijama shorts. A sigh left my lips, as I felt his tongue rubbing my clit in circles. I closed my eyes, filled with pleasure, and tried to keep it quiet so neither Mrs Hudson nor Watson could hear us.
“Come here,” I begged after a while.
I opened my eyes and saw Dean crawling up to my face. His tattoo was covered in sweat and his hair was ruffled.
“You thought I would just leave it there, sweetheart?” He flirted and, without a warning, he thrust inside me. “You feel good today… Tight, and so wet for me…”
I moaned, getting lost in his green eyes. I wanted to kiss him, but I couldn’t.
I didn’t even feel his weight over me.
I blinked.
TARDIS.
I blinked again.
Dean was looking at me, dumbfounded as he made love to me.
I shook my head and closed my eyes again, letting my body fall back into the pillows as I succumbed to the pleasure he… they were giving me. I called both of their names in between whispers until I climaxed.
I sighed and opened my eyes.
I was in my room. Darkness surrounded me. I was alone, and my fingers were still between my legs.
I wiped them quickly with the bed sheets and took my phone to googled Dean Winchester’s name, only to find out that he was not being looked at by the US government, but rather a fictional character. Not only that, but I saw pictures of him in the most intimate moments… Moments I could recall from living them with him.
I clicked on one of his pictures.
Jensen Ackles… Married.
I clicked on Sam’s.
Married.
I clicked on Castiel’s.
Married.
They were all married. Click by click I undercovered the lie I was living in.
“But what about Sher?” I thought to myself.
I googled him. Fictional character, based on the books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
There he was, my Sherlock, next to others who had also played him.
“I thought I was in a hospital,” I whispered.
“Maybe it’s just your unconscious mind asking to be treated by a professional.” Castiel’s voice spoke.
“Maybe it’s because that is where you’re going,” Sam gestured to the side of my bed. A bottle of vodka laid there empty, next to empty sets of aspirins.
“Is there an end to this?” I asked.
“I’m afraid not,” Jim Moriarty spoke from the darkness. “But aren’t you having fun?”
“What if I die?” I insisted.
“You won’t,” Sherlock said, “you still got enough energy to call an ambulance for yourself.”
“Please do,” Watson begged softly.
I grabbed my phone and dialed the number.
“I need an ambulance…”
“We’ll see you on the other side, sweetheart.” Dean smiled with a glimpse of sadness.
“I love you, guys.”
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought you were moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy… Maybe it was loneliness… Or maybe I was just a fangirl… Interrupted.
Requested by anon: Sam and Dean return back to the bunker after a hunt, were they had to kill a witch, and the reader is waiting for them- they’ve been gone for a few days and they’re anxious. When she see’s Sam she immediately kisses him (they’re dating), however what she doesn’t know is that the witch cursed the boys and they’ve switched bodies. So, she’s kissing Dean not Sam.
Warnings: It’s shitty.
Word count: 768
A/N: I haven’t watched Supernatural in at least two years, so I’M SORRY. I literally felt as if I was learning how to ride a bike or something like that cuz this is no longer me. :( So I hope it doesn’t suck that much. I’m sorry for ripping that request apart. I really tried my best.
Enjoy, I guess.
The loud roar from the Impala followed by a short silence announced the return of the Winchesters to the bunker. They had been out on a witch hunt that had apparently succeeded and know it was their time to rest – that is only IF they decided to rest.
(Y/N) had anxiously waited for them to come back. Specifically, she had been waiting for Sam.
She headed outside, not being able to wait for them to come inside, and ran straight towards Sam. He had been taking their bags out of the trunk when he got tackled by his girlfriend.
Without hesitation, (Y/N) puckered up and kissed him as if it had been years since she’d seen him – a habit she had acquired a long time ago. Sam, however, did not respond as she expected.
His lips remained still and his eyes widened. He held her tightly and pushed her away.
Dean followed quickly, holding (Y/N) softly from behind while Sam got up.
“I’m sorry,” he said. His puppy eyed mode was suddenly on.
“What?” (Y/N) panicked. “What is going on?”
Dean swallowed loudly and looked at (Y/N) for a second before looking directly to his brother. Sam hesitated, not knowing how to say what he meant to say.
“Oh my God, I knew it!” (Y/N) spoke. Her eyes were wide and full of shock.
“You do?” Sam asked, feeling a sudden relief. “Thank God, I thought this would be harder but if you know…”
“Yeah, it’s better that way,” Dean nodded and let go off (Y/N)’s arms.
“I should’ve known before, you don’t act like yourself and…” (Y/N) continued.
“Yes! I know!” Sam cheered, “See? I knew you would get it.”
Of course she got it. Sam hadn’t been the same ever since Castiel left. She didn’t think it would affect him as much as it would affect Dean, but truth was Sam did feel terribly after he left.
She had tried to be a good companion, she had tried to help Sam feel supported, she had really tried her best. Maybe it wasn’t enough.
The Winchesters always acted like that. If one friend left them, then they didn’t want any friend at all… Maybe Sam was feeling like she would leave too, just like Castiel, in spite of loving him.
She loved him. She really loved him and Sam was probably thinking she didn’t and so he was breaking up with her.
“Fine,” she said. Her head was now clear. “I… I tried my best, but I respect your choice.”
Sam suddenly looked even more confused.
“I will go and pack my stuff,” she said. “You are a good man, Sam,” she patted her shoulder and went back inside. Neither of the Winchesters followed her, they were gobsmacked and unable to even walk.
She went inside her shared room with Sam, refusing to shed a single tear in front of them, and took out her backpack from the closet.
How could she pack so many memories in just one backpack? She had built her home next to Sam and now…
Sam and Dean stormed inside the room.
“It’s not what you think it is!” Dean yelled, calling (Y/N)’s attention.
“What?” (Y/N) shrugged.
“You think that I… That Sam is breaking up with you, right?” Dean stuttered.
“Well, obviously, because…”
“He’s not.” Dean interrupted and cleared his throat. “I’m not.”
“What?”
“(Y/N),” Sam spoke, “I’m not Sam.”
“What do you mean?” (Y/N) stepped back.
“I am,” Dean stated.
(Y/N) stared at them in shock and then burst in laughter.
“The witch we killed cursed us as she died…” Dean continued to explain, “so now I’m Sam and he’s Dean, but me Sam is he Dean and he Dean is me Sam…”
“So… I kissed Dean?” (Y/N) inquired.
“Yes.”
“Dean in Sam’s body?”
“Yes.”
“That’s just…” (Y/N) shrugged in disgust. “So we’re not breaking up?”
“No, I would never,” Dean (Sam) shook his head and gave her his best Dean dreamy eyes.
“Oh, thank God!” She threw herself once more into his arms… Except those were Dean’s arms, and sighed.
Sam, in Dean’s body, kissed her passionately while Dean, in Sam’s body, just stared in awe. He always wondered how he’d look like with (Y/N). Not that liked her, it was just for funsies.
(Y/N) pulled away.
“This is too weird…” She said, “We must fix this.”
Both brothers agreed.
One call and thirty minutes later, the Winchesters were all set. It was not a hard curse to cast, therefore not a hard curse to remove.
“So (Y/N),” Dean inquired during dinner, “who’s a better kisser: me or Sam?”
-
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Summary: One year later, Dean’s got some big, big plans.
Pairing: Cowboy!Dean x Reader
Warnings: none I can think of
Word Count: ~2,500?
A/N: I can’t promise it’s any good, friends, but here it is! It’s been awhile, so I’m a little rusty! Hope you enjoy. You guys can thank Chris Lane and his song Big, Big Plans for kickstarting my brain. Because wow, it needed it.
Summary: When Dean runs into you at the Roadhouse, things get a little… complicated
Pairing: Cowboy!Dean x Reader
Word Count: 2,300
Warnings: Language. I can’t help it.
A/N: It took a little longer than I was hoping, but I feel confident blaming Marvel and Sarah J Maas for thoroughly distracting me this past week. New movies and books really threw a wrench into things. Anyway, this one’s from Dean’s pov which always stresses me out… hope y’all like it!
Summary: Things with Dean get explosive after you have a fall, making you both question your choices…
Word Count: 2,100
Pairing: Cowboy!Dean x Reader
Warnings: Language, minor fall, horses being scary, Dean yelling
A/N: I wanted to get this out sooner this evening but life got in the way, sorry guys! But here it is - a bit shorter this time but you get a peek inside Dean’s head towards the end, like I promised! Hope you like it!
Find the Series Masterlist and previous parts HERE
A/N: I hope y’all can feel the intense judgement and displeasure coming from my cat, who is less than thrilled I’m on my computer instead of snuggling him… lol… anyway, hope you enjoy the next installment! Not too exciting but that’s coming, I promise!
“She’s sick of this town, she’s sick of that boy, she’s sick of dreams that never take flight. There’s gotta be more than the same old story so she’s gonna turn the page tonight. Turn the radio up, roll the windows down, she’s got a full tank of gas, ain’t no stopping her now.”
-Dust, Eli Young Band
Setting out on a new path is always tenuous, and you arrive at Singer Performance Horses with more than a little uncertainty about your new job as an apprentice. But when you receive a less-than-warm welcome from the head trainer, things seem insurmountably difficult. Can you prove your worth and establish a place for yourself? Or will you pack up and head home empty-handed?
If you’d like to know more about the setting for this series, I’d recommend watching “Down the Fence” on Netflix. It will give you insight into the world of reining cow horses as well as some incredible horsemen and horsewomen - aka real life cowboys.
Title – The Men Who Hunted Her Pairings – DeanxY/N, Sam and Y/N friendship Word Count – 5,453 Warnings – Violence, non-con, cursing, being drugged SPNMixedBingo Square filled – Kidnapping
“Who’s calling you at this hour?” Sam questioned, looking up from his laptop. Dean picked up his phone and looked at the caller ID. He saw the name across the screen and rolled his eyes.
“Fucking Y/N,” he growled savagely. Sam instantly frowned.
When Dean and Y/N got together, Sam was nervous. It was like watching fire and gasoline join and when it was good, they were quite the pair to watch. They were an unbeatable force on the hunt or in the bar, and the unbridled passion they had for each other was unlike anything he’d ever seen.
But when they fought, it was just as bad. The hoarse shouting, the uncontrollable fury, sometimes even the thrown punches. There were things said that was downright unforgivable to many but for them, it was just who they were. They were as furious as they were passionate.
The last fight between Dean and Y/N was a vicious one. The screaming went on for hours. It got to the point where they didn’t even know what they were fighting about anymore. Sam didn’t know what they were fighting about anymore. And when Dean bluntly told her to get out, she left without saying a word. That was weeks ago. Sam and Y/N kept in touch behind Dean’s back, but Dean was miserable. He knew Dean regretted throwing Y/N out of the bunker, but his stubborn pride was in the way of asking her to come back.
The radio silence between Dean and Y/N had been hard on Sam, but at least Y/N was still speaking to him. Or was until four days ago. That’s when she went off the radar. If she was calling now and calling Dean, something was wrong. Before he could say so, Dean already had the phone to his ear.
“The fuck do you want?” he growled fiercely into the phone.
“Don’t hang up!” Y/N’s whispered voice begged as soon as he picked up the call. “Please, please, pleasedon’t hang up!”
“Y/N?” Dean asked, evident anger vanishing instantly. Her hushed begging suddenly confused him.
“Please,” she sobbed uncontrollably. “I know you’re mad at me, but please don’t hang up. Please. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know who else to call. Please don’t hang up. Please.”
“Hey, hey, hey, calm down. Talk to me. What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Dean asked worriedly. Sam stood up and walked closer to his brother so he could hear the call. Something was most certainly wrong. “Baby, slow down, I can’t understand you.”
“… grabbed me from behind, I didn’t even see them…supposed to be hunting a ghoul…hit me in the head, knocked me unconscious,” Y/N got out between strangled sobs. Dean stood up and promptly went for his keys; Sam followed closely behind, grabbing his laptop along the way.
“Who has you? Who are they?” he demanded impatiently.
“I don’t know… I don’t… They keep drugging me…” Y/N said, trailing off.
“Baby, I need you to take a deep breath for me,” Dean said desperately. Y/N nodded despite Dean not being able to see her.
“I’m so tired,” she whispered fearfully, wearily leaning her head into the heel of her palm.
“Y/N, listen to me. Where are you?” Dean asked forcefully.
“I don’t know! I don’t know where I am!” she sobbed. “They had me in the trunk when they brought me here! I… I was able to… to fight… to hide… I knocked one of them out… I grabbed his cell phone, and I’m hiding, but they are looking for me… They…”
Y/N’s anxious voice was cut off when a loud banging was heard along with two or three male voices shouting furiously. Y/N covered her mouth to muffle the harsh sound of her breathing, making herself as small and as quiet as she could. She hugged the cell phone to her chest to hide the light as well. After a few minutes, the sound went away, and she pulled the phone back to her ear only to hear Dean shouting for her.
“De….” Y/N whispered. The profound relief Sam saw in Dean’s face when he heard Y/N’s whisper would be something he’d remember forever.
“How many are there?” Sam asked eagerly when Dean couldn’t speak.
“Five…. No, si…six. six of them,” Y/N whispered. Sam cursed under his breath.
“Well, that’s how they got her. No way she can take on six guys by herself. Y/N… Are you on a cell phone?” Sam asked while Dean gathered his raw emotions together.
“Ye… yeah. I stole it from one of them… I had to get to you… I had to get help…” Y/N said quietly. Sam nodded.
“Do you remember how to turn on the GPS?” Sam asked, flipping his laptop open.
“Ye…yeah,” she answered. Within minutes, Sam saw the blip show up on the screen.
“Perfect. We have it. Keep the phone with you, okay? We’re coming.”
“There you are!” an agitated voice bellowed behind her as she slipped out of the cracked window. Wide eyes looked back, and she dropped just as a gun went off above her head. Without wasting any time, Y/N took off running through the long grass and into the trees that surrounded what she now saw was a cabin inside the woods.
“Did you get her, Jackie?” a rough male voice frantically asked. A third male cursed as he saw her running in between trees.
“Bitch is in the woods. We got to stop her before someone finds her and she starts talking,” a younger male voice said. A sinister laugh echoed in the opening.
“Butch! Mikey! Marlo! Gear up! Looks like we’re going hunting…”
“Keep going straight, then at the third left, take it,” Sam said. His eyes kept bouncing between the map in his hands and the blip on the screen in front of him. They had been driving for roughly 45 minutes, and they were already out of Kansas and into Oklahoma. Dean was going 20 over the speed limit just to get to her as fast as possible.
“I never should have thrown her out,” he muttered fiercely under his breath, gently shaking his head. Sam dared an apprehensive glance up at his older brother, taking in the clenched jaw and the raw emotion he normally saw hidden from his eyes.
“You didn’t know this was going to happen, Dean,” Sam commented quietly. Dean’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.
“If anything happens to her, I will never forgive myself,” Dean growled furiously.
“We’re gonna find her, and we’re gonna destroy the assholes who took her,” Sam said, his voice so dangerous Dean had to glance at him.
“Damn straight.”
Y/N ran as fast as her bare feet would let her go on the floor of the woods. She ignored the torn skin and puncture wounds she was getting from the sticks and stones stepped on along the way. She used her arms to help launch herself over a dead tree that had fallen and continued running. Having not eaten in over a week, she had no idea where the energy was coming from, but she knew she couldn’t stop.
If she stopped, she’d inevitably die.
She heard an apparent gunshot in the distance and paused her running to look around at her surroundings. Nothing looked familiar; it was all trees and underbrush. Y/N nervously looked at the phone and was relieved to see it still had service. She couldn’t be that far from modern civilization if the mobile phone had service.
The faint sounds of someone shouting met her ears. She darted a look behind her in fear then started looking for something she could use as a weapon. Spotting a length of wood, she followed it with her eyes to see it was embedded into the carcass of a dead animal. Moving carefully, she slid over to it and pulled the old arrow out of the decaying corpse. Thankfully, the flinty tip was still sharp. Breaking the used arrow in half, she tossed the worthless half aside.
Then she climbed up the closest tree and hid.
“Splitting up was a bad idea, Jackie,” the rough voice of Marlo grunted out. He held the double-barrel loosely in his hands and frowned as he walked by the trampled ferns, kicking at them as he went.
“Oh, shut up, Marlo. If you can’t take down one bitch, then there’s something wrong with you,” Jack said, using his pistol as an extension of his arm to lift up some low-hanging branches out of his way. Jack bristled at the direct insult.
“It ain’t that and you know it! This ain’t just some bitch!” Marlo growled. “This a hunter! An’ she ain’t all drugged up like you been keepin’ her!”
“Whatever, man, she’s just like the rest of them. Just a toy we can dispose of when we’re done with her,” Jack said gleefully, looking back at Marlo with a lewd grin. When Jack turned back around to face front, Y/N dropped down on his plump shoulders and brutally stabbed the arrow into his throat.
Marlo shouted frantically in surprise as he watched blood spurt from the ragged wound in Jack’s throat, the two tumbling to the ground. Y/N snatched up Jack’s pistol and raised it, but Marlo was faster, shooting off a round from his shotgun.
Buckshot scattered and Y/N cried out as some of it embedded itself into her battered body. As Marlo racked another shot ready, Y/N fired off two shots of her own. The hoarse cries from the burly man in front of her echoed off the trees. Somehow, he was still standing. Shoving Jack’s now dead body away from her, she got herself in a better position and with wide eyes on the wounded man, she fired again. She hit her mark as Marlo’s body dropped hard onto the wooded ground.
Panting hard, Y/N remained frozen, listening anxiously for any sounds of the other men who were after her. Hearing nothing, she slowly stood up, a sore arm covering her chest. Little red spots started to show up across her dirty white shirt from the buckshot that caught her. She hissed as she moved, looking down at herself to see at least six spots where there was now embedded metal in her skin.
“Dammit,” she muttered savagely.
Moving gingerly over to where Marlo lay, she pulled the shotgun toward her and patted down his shallow pockets for more ammo. She was able to find six more shells. With shaking hands, she slid them into the pocket of her now torn and stained jeans before turning away. Making her way back to where Jack lay, she dug around in his pockets next. Nothing.
Y/N took a moment to swallow back the abject despair threatening to overwhelm her. She was aching all over, desperately tired, hungry, so very thirsty, and four of her captors were still in the woods looking for her. She pulled the phone out of her back pocket. Still had four bars of service, still transmitting the information. Shoving it back into her pocket, she stood uneasily from her crouched position and heaved a sigh.
“Where are you, Dean?”
“We’re close. Turn into this park,” Sam said, pointing to a side road on the left. Dean took the turn at speed, leaving tread marks on the road behind them. The brothers looked around carefully at the drive, noting the hunting lodge motif that seemed to engulf the area.
“They took her to a hunting ground, where no one would be bothered by the sounds of gunfire,” Dean growled impatiently. Sam opened the glove box and started digging through their fake IDs until he found their Ranger ones as Dean proceeded up to the security stop. Handing Dean his, Sam took control of the worsening situation to cover for Dean’s uncontrolled rage.
“Evening, boys. Can I help you?” the security officer politely asked. Sam lifted his ID, nudging Dean to do the same.
“Yes, Sir, we’re looking for a group of men who may be staying on your property who may be hunting outside the limits set for the active season. Tell me, have you seen any groups of say five or six men come in and rent out a private cabin?” Sam asked. The officer frowned slightly, turning to pull a clipboard off the side of the wall of his hut.
“Well, Ranger, now that you mention it… We did have a group of six guys coming up here in the middle of the night about four or five days ago. Thought it was odd they came in so late. A couple of them were acting kind of nervous, constantly looking over their shoulder and whatnot,” the officer said. Sam nodded and glanced stealthily at Dean, undoubtedly noticing his eyes narrowing.
“Yeah, those might be our guys. What cabin are they in? We’re going to pay them a surprise visit,” he asked. The officer flipped up the papers and read the paperwork in hand.
“Looks like they are staying at the Ravenwood Cabin. It’s the one that’s farthest back in the woods. Just follow the yellow trail all the way to the back, and then the black diamonds to get to the drive,” he said, promptly handing the boys a map. Sam took it and nodded.
“Thanks, Officer…” he started.
“Thoroughbred. Good luck in there, and be safe,” he said, punching a button to lift the gate. Dean forced himself to drive slowly through the gate but once he was out of sight of the security office, he picked up speed.
“Of course, they would pick the cabin farthest out,” Dean ground out through gritted teeth. Sam glanced at his laptop and saw the red dot had stopped moving. He compared it to where they were, then looked up and pointed eagerly.
“Keep going straight and keep your ears open.”
Y/N limped to a stop and leaned back against an overgrown tree, reached into her pocket, and pulled out the stolen cell phone. She was down to two bars of service. She prayed it was enough to send out a GPS signal to Sam. She stuffed the cell back into her pocket and looked down at her feet. They were torn up, bleeding heavily in some places. If those guys who took her had dogs, they would certainly be able to find her. She had to keep moving.
She desperately needed a break, though. Y/N was exhausted, and her last bit of energy was tapped. She could feel her battered body starting to shut down involuntarily. Y/N knew if she didn’t find a safe space to hide soon, she could be in real trouble.
Shoving away from the tree, she relentlessly pushed through the wooded area, desperately trying to find anything that looked familiar. Nothing but trees, brush, and branches surrounded her. She had walked for another fifteen minutes before she heard it. Freezing in place, she listened intently. Footsteps, and not in a cadence she recognized. With a terrified look behind her, she started to run frantically.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” she heard a maniacal voice shout. It only made her run faster and harder in the opposite direction. Glancing nervously behind her to see if she could spot the man chasing her, she stumbled awkwardly and as she tried to right herself – a strong hand lashed out and viciously grabbed her arm. She felt a sharp pain a second later in her neck.
“Gotcha,” a different male’s hateful voice said in her ear. Without rational thought, Y/N thrust the butt of the shotgun into the man’s face, shattering his nose. He cursed loudly, dropping her arm, and frantically grabbing his broken face with both hands. Y/N then spun on him and fired indiscriminately in his direction. She heard the man cry out as dark spots danced in front of her eyes. She fired again for good measure and heard a hoarse grunt before she turned uneasily and blindly started to stumble away, inadvertently dropping the shotgun in the process.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck FUCK she thought anxiously. Okay, we’ve dealt with this already. Take deep slow breaths. Slow your heart down. Control your movements. We can handle this. We beat the drugs once; we can beat them again.
Only this time, she wasn’t as positive.
“Wait, did you hear that?” Sam asked impatiently. Dean slowed the Impala down and listened intently through the open windows. Pulling the car off to the side of the road, he shut the engine down. The brothers listened intently to the world around them, hearing the wind blowing through the leaves and the odd cricket when suddenly
BANG! BANGBANG!
Dean’s furious eyes narrowed.
“They’re hunting something out in those woods,” Sam said, critical eyes on the tree line. He leaned back, vainly trying to see what was there.
“What are the chances it’s her?” Dean asked stonily. Sam turned to look back at the laptop, shrugging.
“It’s possible. She’s in the woods somewhere,” he responded. “Her signal is moving slowly, but I can’t pinpoint an exact location in the woods here.”
“Then we’re going in,” Dean said impatiently, opening his car door. Sam slapped his laptop shut and shoved it under his seat before following suit. When he got to the trunk of the car, Dean already had it open and a shotgun pulled out. He reached in and grabbed his own sawed-off, shoving shells into his pockets. Dean grabbed his pistol and shoved it into the back of his jeans along with a throwing knife. Sam grabbed his own pistol, then reached over to grab one of their empty backpacks and shoved a canteen and the first aid kit inside it. Dean looked at his brother with a raised brow.
“We don’t know what shape she is in. We should be prepared,” Sam explained gently. Dean’s eyes narrowed as he studied his brother, then he reached over and grabbed the other empty backpack and did the same. Dean added a blanket to his pack, while Sam added extra ammunition and a flare gun to his.
BANG! BANGBANG! BANG!
Gunshots rang out again, causing the brothers to look at the woods sharply. Dean slammed the trunk to the impala hard and racked the first shot in the shotgun.
“Let’s go, Sammy,” Dean snapped viciously as he led the way in.
Y/N blinked rapidly, desperately trying to clear her vision as she forced herself to move. She tripped and stumbled awkwardly into a nearby tree, scraping the skin off her arm in the process. A whimper escaped her as she forcefully pushed off the tree and forced her legs to keep moving. She had to keep going, she had to keep moving. She refused to die out here in the woods; she had to get back to Dean.
She wiped a hand across her neck and felt a small trickle of blood. She knew they injected her with whatever illegal drug they had been doping her with. She wiped her hand on her jeans, then reached behind her to grab the stolen pistol from the back of her pants. She didn’t know how many bullets she had left in it, but it made her feel comfortable having it in her hand.
She pressed on then, shoving away from the tree and moving slower than before as she made her way into the woods.
I can’t… I CAN’T…she thought miserably. A strangled sob got stuck in her parched throat as she stopped moving and leaned against a tree. Her breathing started growing ragged, almost like she couldn’t get enough air. She started yanking at her shirt, vainly trying to pull it away from her neck.
“I can’t… I can’t breathe,” she whispered brokenly to no one in particular. She pushed off the tree she leaned wearily against and attempted to walk again. She stumbled awkwardly with every few steps she took. The blurred vision and the dizziness told her the drugs were almost at full effect. It wouldn’t be long before she blacked out completely.
She felt an unknown hand grab her shirt to stop her, and with quick maneuvers made on instinct, she had it off her exhausted body in moments. With the remaining energy she had, she thrust her hand upward and felt the heel of her hand connect roughly with the nose of the person behind her. The sickening crunch and following yowl of pain was music to her ears. Y/N fought through the blurry vision and dizziness to grab the man’s head and forcibly bring it down sharply to her uplifted knee. She cried out herself at the violent contact, her entire leg aching terribly from the hit, but the man was unconscious and wouldn’t be bothering her anymore.
Four down. Two left.
Dean held up a hand with a closed fist when he heard the shrill cry of pain. He recognized that sound anywhere. He and Sam locked eyes, and Dean moved his fingers toward the direction he heard the sound coming from. Sam nodded and turned toward it. Slowly and silently, the two hunters crept forward until a gunshot had them running.
The following scream had Dean seeing red.
Fiery pain tore savagely through Y/N’s abdomen, ripping an agonized scream from her burning throat. She staggered her steps, colliding into a tree before collapsing into the brittle leaves on the dirt floor of the forest.
“Y/N!!!!” She heard someone shout frantically. Pulling on all the strength she had left, she yelled back.
“I’m here!!” her hoarse voice cried out. Y/N put both hands on her stomach and pressed, feeling lightning hot pain race through her, riding her veins down to her leg. She felt something warm and sticky there. When she lifted a hand to see what it was, she was mildly surprised to see something red on her fingertips.
She dropped her hand back to the bleeding wound, a hoarse groan ripped from her as complete exhaustion finally took hold. Her stinging, blurry eyes slowly drifted shut, tears making tracks through the dirt and blood on her face.
“She’s over here!” a gruff voice close to her shouted frantically. She listened carefully for the footsteps to come closer to her, but instead, she heard another gunshot. Shouting. Angry voices and crashing foliage. Flesh hitting flesh and another gunshot.
Y/N tried to hang on but felt herself start to drift. Between the drugs and now the gunshot wound, her desperate grip on reality was slipping fast. She felt her head fell back and her mouth open, which was helpful. It made breathing a little easier.
“Y/N. Y/N can you hear me? Y/N!!” she scarcely heard someone say, gently grabbing her face. She tried opening her eyes, but they wouldn’t listen to her. Her harsh breathing started to come in painful little gasps.
“I’m here,” she desperately tried to whisper. Everything sounded so distant, so far away from where she was right then.
“Dean!!” the voice shouted, fear lacing the word. Sam, then, she thought wearily. Her arms were getting heavier, numb even. Even the unbearable pain was going away. She hoped this was just the drugs making her feel this way. She didn’t want to die.
“You’re not gonna die, Y/N. Just hang on. DEAN!!” Sam shouted. That’s nice, she thought distractedly. She heard the distant rustling then the pain was back, sharp and engulfing her. She gasped, her eyes flying open to stare right into the brilliant green of Dean’s frantic ones as he relentessly pushed on her stomach wound.
“C’mon baby, you gotta stay awake for me,” Dean said, his voice filled with anguish and fear. Over his shoulder, Sam was on his phone. No doubt he was calling for help. Y/N’s eyes drooped.
“De…. Dru…gg…ed…” she got out through a pant, then grimaced as a violent wave of pain ran through her body, causing her to shiver violently. Dean’s eyes instantly started looking over her face and neck, before spotting the pinprick on her neck that was bleeding slightly.
“Drugged? They drugged you?” he asked frantically, but she was already out. “Babe? Y/N!? Y/N!!”
Dean started to panic, pushing two fingers into her neck to find your pulse. He found your pulse beating too slowly, but at least it was beating. He had no clue what kind of drug they gave her. Sam hung up the phone and turned back to his big brother.
“We need to get her to the road. They can’t land life flight in the woods,” he said, looking down at Y/N.
“They drugged her, Sammy. See if any of them have any drugs or syringes on them. I’ll start taking her to the car,” Dean demanded, moving to pick Y/N up bridal style so he could carry her. Sam nodded and started going through the pockets of the men around them.
Minutes later, Sam ran up to him with a syringe in his hand. Together they got Y/N to the car, then made it to the main road just as Rescue was pulling up.
The first thing she was aware of was the beeping of the heart rate monitor. The second was the heavy warmth around her hand. She could tell it had been there a while, that she had been there a while, simply by the ache in her joints and muscles. What she wouldn’t give to just stretch and instantly feel everything pop and move back into place like they were naturally supposed to be.
Instead, she tried opening her very heavy eyelids to see where exactly she was.
The hospital room she was in was dimly lit, just a lamp in the corner on the lowest setting. It looked dark outside the window, so it was either really late or really early. When her tired eyes caught the sleeping man in the chair next to her, a contented smile played on her face.
Dean looked tired. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his clothes were rumpled. He was sleeping soundly on his folded arms, one eager hand wrapped around hers in a very tight grip. Suddenly, whatever they were arguing about before seemed so unimportant. She couldn’t even remember what it was about. All she really wanted more than anything right then was to see his gorgeous eyes and his charming smile.
Gently squeezing the hand he had a secure grip on, she tried to call his name with no success. Her throat was dry and scratchy, so any sound came out sounding broken and crackly. Thankfully, the door to her private room opened then and Sam walked in with a cup of coffee. When he realized she was awake, he smiled fondly at her with wet eyes.
“Hey, Y/N,” he said quietly, walking over to the opposite side of the hospital bed that Dean was resting on. He leaned down and gently kissed her on the top of the head, knowingly causing her to close her eyes and grin at him. “Welcome back.”
Sam then walked around the hospital bed to where Dean was and set his coffee down on one of the tables in the room. He put his hands on each one of Dean’s shoulders, squeezing slightly.
“Dean… Hey, I need you to wake up for me,” Sam said soothingly, rubbing his arms to gently wake him up. The older Winchester still woke with a jolt and a slight groan. Y/N watched him, eagerly waiting for him to look up at her.
“Look who’s awake, Dean,” Sam said softly. Dean immediately looked up at Y/N and his eager face broke into a relieved smile when he saw her pretty eyes looking back at him. He carefully moved from the chair to the side of her bed and gently pressed a chaste kiss to her mouth. Y/N pressed her hands to his face, needing to feel him, his skin on hers.
“Hey, baby,” Dean whispered tenderly. Y/N sniffled in response, carefully slipping her hands to his flannel shirt, and fisting it tightly. Sam had taken a step back, pouring some water into a cup with a straw for Y/N. He willingly handed it over to Dean who then took it and carefully held it out to Y/N. She took a few long sips of the water and attempted to clear her sore throat of the crude clogging it.
“Are they dead?” she asked, her pleasant voice sounding raw and painful. Dean nodded.
“Yeah, they’re all dead. You’re safe now,” Dean said, running his hand over her hair. “And I am so sorry…”
“No apologies,” Y/N mumbled, gently interrupting him. “You didn’t hang up the phone and got me away from them. That’s more than enough.” Dean shook his head, intentionally avoiding her eyes.
“If I never told you to leave, you would never have been in that position,” he said regretfully. Y/N couldn’t argue that one. Instead, she just took his hand and interlaced her fingers with his.
“Lesson one in learning how to fight correctly: don’t kick each other out of the bunker,” she whispered tenderly, a gentle smile playing on her lips. Dean simply shook his head, swallowing hard. Y/N carefully studied his face. “Hey,”
Dean looked up at her, taking in the cuts and bruises scattered across her face. The guilt in his heart weighed down heavily on him and she could see it in his eyes. She pulled his face back down to hers and eagerly pressed their lips together again.
“I don’t blame you, Winchester,” she whispered fiercely against his lips. “But if it makes you feel better, I forgive you.”
Sam watched from the far side of the hospital room as his big brother and Y/N took the time to thank whoever listens to them that she made it out of this horrible ordeal alive. The drugs that those men kept pumping her full of took three full days to get out of her system. Thankfully, there should be no lasting damage to her. The gunshot wound was superficial, but thanks to the drugs, bled a lot. She’ll have an ugly scar, but she’ll live to talk about it.
It was the rape kit they had to do on her that infuriated the brothers. The doctors inadvertently discovered the need for it when they were prepping her for surgery. It took everything Sam could do to control Dean and his relentless fury. He was on the receiving end of a few punches before he invariably got Dean in a hold that stopped the violent attacks.
“Listen to me. HEY! LISTEN to me!” Sam shouted furiously at his brother once Dean was pressed up against the wall with his arms pinned. “Stop. You’re going to get kicked out of the hospital if you keep this up. The guys who kidnapped her are to blame for this. Not you, not me, and not the medical staff, alright?”
Dean stormed out of the hospital with Sam and Y/N’s doctor watching with frowns on their faces.
“Is he going to be okay?” they asked Sam. He didn’t know how to answer that, so Sam just shrugged. He told the doctors to do what they had to do for Y/N and he’d sign whatever paperwork was needed. Sam ended up sitting with Y/N for almost two days before Dean made his way back. When he arrived, he looked like he hadn’t slept and reeked of smoke and gasoline.
“They won’t be able to hurt her again,” he said as he stared at Y/N from the foot of her bed. Sam simply shook his head and sent Dean to the hotel room he rented to get a hot shower and some sleep.
Sam knew this was going to be new nightmare material for both his brother and Y/N. Dean’s overwhelming guilt would be enough to inevitably create new scenarios in his head that wouldn’t be real. He’ll wake up screaming horribly in the middle of the night thinking he didn’t save Y/N in time. And since Y/N had the Winchester habit of not talking about things, she’d be reliving this in her dreams as well. All Sam could do is be prepared to help them as best he could from the sidelines and remind them how to avoid getting to this place again.
Which does, in fact, start with not kicking each other out of the bunker during a fight.
Title: The Thunder Rolls Pairings: Jared/Jensen/Y/N Friendship Word Count: 3,704 Warnings: None unless you count evil hurricanes and thunderstorms. Cursing? SPNMixedBingo Square filled – Fear of Thunder
“Hey, have you heard from Y/N lately? I know she went home to Florida for a vacation since she was off for a few weeks, but she hasn’t been answering any of my texts lately,” Jared asked as he stepped inside Jensen’s trailer after a long day of shooting. Jensen smirked at his friend as he scrubbed his freshly washed hair down with a towel.
“She’s probably ignoring you after that last prank you did before she left,” he said with a chuckle. Jared frowned at Jensen, dropping on his couch with a frustrated huff.
“How was I supposed to know she was scared of thunder and lightning? I mean, she’s a mature adult. People usually grow out of that once they hit double digits,” Jared muttered under his breath. He stuffed his hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie and pouted, leaning his head back against the couch so he could stare at the ceiling. Jensen threw the damp towel over the door to his small bathroom then joined him on the couch.
“Speaking of thunder and lightning,” Jensen muttered as a low rumble of continuous thunder echoed in the distance. “I’m glad they canceled the rest of tonight’s shooting. It would have been a bitch to try and deal with this storm on top of everything else we had to do.”
Jared hummed his mutual agreement. Jensen looked thoughtfully at him and recognized the look in his eyes. Jared was feeling guilty for unintentionally hurting Y/N and was starting to take her radio silence a little too personally. Jensen sighed. When Jared got this way, it could go dark fast.
“Alright, Jay,” Jensen said, affectionately patting the big guy on the chest with a big hand. “Let’s go.”
“Go where?” Jared asked, watching as Jensen started to put on his tennis shoes.
“We’re gonna go head over to Y/N’s and see if she’s back yet,” Jensen said. Jared looked at him like he was crazy.
“What? Why?” Jared asked. Jensen reached over to grab his wallet and keys.
“One, because she should have been back by now anyway. Two, because you are getting all broody and that shit is best left to Sam… Not you. And three, because I said so. Now, get up. Let’s go,” Jensen said, slapping Jared’s knee. Jared made a keening sound, shaking his head. “Hey. Don’t make me treat you like one of my kids. Get your ass up.”
With a frustrated huff, Jared hauled himself to his feet and obediently followed Jensen out the door. The two made it to Jensen’s truck just as the rain started to come down. The frequent lightning was bright enough to light up the sky, the arcs dancing between the overhead clouds in sharp angles. Jared stared out the passenger window morosely as Jensen carefully drove down the dreary streets of Vancouver to the small apartment that Y/N rented, hoping she was there and they could talk.
The next flash of lightning had Y/N gripping the armrests even tighter than before. It seemed impossibly bright even with the shades drawn. The thunder seems so much louder up here, she thought miserably, squeezing her eyes shut and forcing herself to take a slow deep breath.
“The storms are so much scarier when we’re flying,” she heard the passenger behind her whisper. No shit, she thought harshly. She reluctantly opened her eyes and glanced around herself; thanking God once again, she willingly paid the money for a first-class seat back to Vancouver from Florida. The extra room made her feel less claustrophobic, the attendants were more tactful on how to handle her, and there was free alcohol.
A lot of free alcohol.
She reached over, picked up the glass of vodka and soda with a shaking hand, and brought it to her lips, taking a giant sip. The female attendant chose then to come to check on her.
“Another vodka soda, ma’am?” she asked politely. Y/N finished the one she had and carefully held it out to the attendant.
“With lime, please,” she said quietly. Undoubtedly hearing the twinge of genuine fear in Y/N’s soft voice, the attendant knelt down beside her. Concern colored her pleasant expression when she got close.
“Are you okay?” she asked. Just then, another hearty round of thunder echoed through the plane, causing Y/N to jump slightly.
“Just… not a big fan of storms is all,” she said nervously with a tight smile. The attendant nodded, undoubtedly understanding.
“I’ll get you another drink then,” she said soothingly. Y/N mumbled a thank you before leaning back in her plush leather seat and desperately trying to calm her racing heart. The attendant returned with her drink, gently pressing it in her hand. The cold glass grounded Y/N a bit.
“We’re landing in twenty minutes,” the attendant said. “We’re almost there.”
Y/N nodded her thanks and took a heavy sip from her glass. Less soda, more vodka. God bless the attendant. The alcohol burned fiercely down her throat but hopefully would calm her frayed nerves. Just then, the plane bounced around through a mess of turbulence. Y/N cursed under her breath and prayed to just be on the damn ground already.
“She’s not home yet,” Jensen said. “Which is weird because I thought her flight got in at three.”
“It’s seven now,” Jared said, looking at his watch. He turned and looked out the window of the building. The rain was coming down in sheets, and the storm was starting to rage on. “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know, grab dinner I guess?” Jensen said with a shrug. “We’re over here on the east side, might as well take advantage of it.”
“So, what you’re saying is you wanna go hit that taco place,” Jared said with a wry grin. Jensen smiled indulgently.
“There was a reason Y/N picked this place, and it wasn’t just because of the cheap rent,” he said, turning away from the front door and heading back toward the private elevator. Jared followed, shaking his head.
“Plus, it’s Thursday, which means pitchers of margaritas are half off!” Jensen said cheerfully.
“This is the real reason you wanted to come out this way, isn’t it? It had nothing to do with checking on Y/N at all,” Jared said with a pout. The two entered the elevator, and Jared pushed the button for the first floor.
“No, I do want to find out how she’s doing. Tacos and margaritas are a welcome bonus,” Jensen said seriously. “She shouldn’t be ignoring your calls.”
The plane bounced on the landing, finally out of the sky and on the ground. The shaky breath that Y/N released took all the tension in her shoulders with it. Between being on the ground and those extra drinks the attendant got her, she felt much calmer.
That was until the thunder snapped outside the plane and rumbled deep in her chest.
I swear to God, I can’t fucking win today, she thought bitterly to herself as rubbed her forehead. She was getting in late because she missed her connection. She missed her connection because her first flight was severely delayed. Her first flight was severely delayed because there were geese on the runway.
Geese.
Fucking Geese.
Welcome to Florida.
If she had made her first connecting fight, she would have been in her apartment and not in a plane when the storm hit. Which meant she would have been able to take one of her meds, go to sleep and wake up the next day and never even know about the terrible storm. Instead, she was a little drunk on a plane that just landed in the middle of the storm.
Once the plane was finally at the gate, she unbuckled her seatbelt and stood to get her things. Whoa,she thought as she swayed a little. She blinked her eyes a few times to get the world to stop spinning before reaching up into the bin to grab her backpack. Looks like I need to add getting home safely to my list as well.
“Thank you for flying with us, have a safe trip home,” the attendant said as she walked by her. Y/N looked at her with a meaningful expression.
“Thank you,” she said sincerely. The attendant smiled knowingly and nodded her head in understanding again. Y/N turned and walked slowly up the walkway, jumping and cringing every time the thunder rolled. Off to find her luggage.
“Hour wait time,” Jared said grimly, as he walked back to Jensen with a small disc in his hand. Jensen frowned.
“An hour?” he questioned. Jared merely nodded.
“Apparently those half-off pitchers are quite popular,” Jared said with a smirk. Jensen sighed and looked at his watch.
“Okay. We can wait a bit and see if it moves faster,” he said. The two sat down on a bench and waited.
Y/N grabbed her luggage and walked outside to where the serviceman pointed. Eagerly reading the signs, she saw the section where taxi pick up was located happened to be ahead of her… and she had to cross three driveways to get to it. The fierce wind was whipping the rain around, cold droplets seeping into her jeans and sweatshirt. Just then, a brilliant flash of lightning streaked across the sky, and moments later a loud crash of thunder struck.
Y/N found herself frozen in place, eyes clenched closed and breath held. Once she could breathe again, she shook her head. Nope, she thought miserably. She turned right around and walked back into the airport. Finding a bench as far away from the front doors as she could, she set her damp things down and sat next to them.
Then she pulled out her phone.
Jared and Jensen were chatting when Jensen’s phone rang. Jensen pulled it out of his pocket and looked surprised.
“It’s Y/N,” he said. Jared’s eyebrows when up.
“Hey! We were just at your place looking for you,” Jensen said as he answered his phone.
“Yeah, I’m not there,” Y/N answered. Jensen chuckled.
“Where’s she at?” Jared asked. Jensen glanced at him.
“Yeah, we figured that out ourselves. Where are you?” he asked.
“At the airport. It’s a long story. Are you on set right now?” Y/N asked. A loud clap of thunder hit and Y/N jumped, almost cursing out loud.
“She’s at the airport,” Jensen answered Jared. “No, they shut us down because of this crazy storm. Jay and I are at Abuela’s, waiting for a table.” Y/N did curse out loud then.
“Does she need a ride?” Jared asked. Jensen impatiently waved his hand at him, while Jared made a gesture encouraging him to ask Y/N.
“I don’t want to interrupt your dinner. You guys go eat,” Y/N said.
“It’s cool, we’re still waiting. It’s like an hour wait. Do you need a ride? We can come to get you,” Jensen asked. Jared was already walking the pager back up to the hostess stand and explaining they had to leave. Jensen stood and instantly pulled his keys out of his pocket. “You know what? We’re already on our way. Give us like, twenty minutes. We can meet you at arriving flights.”
“Thank you,” Y/N breathed. Once she hung up her phone, she stuffed it in her pocket. She then pulled her suitcase close to her, bent her arms on top of it, and lay her head down. She hid her face from view. She wasn’t worried about people recognizing her so much as her not being able to control her emotions given the situation.
Approximately 22 minutes later, she felt someone gently rubbing her arm. She looked up and saw Jared crouched in front of her with a gentle smile on his face.
“Hey bug,” he said. A relieved sigh escaped her as she went to stand.
“Oh, thank God,” she breathed, wobbling on her feet. Jared steadied her.
“You okay there?” he asked with a chuckle.
“Heavy on the vodka, light on the soda while flying home,” she replied meekly, readjusting her backpack. Jared grabbed the handle of her suitcase and wrapped an arm around her to help her to the car. It was a good thing their families were so close, or she’d be overly worried about someone snapping a photo of them in such an intimate position and printing it. Then again, she didn’t really care at the moment. She just wanted to get somewhere safe.
“Jensen’s right on the curb,” Jared said. Y/N nodded her head in silence. As they stepped through the automatic doors to the pick-up area, another clap of thunder hit. This time, Y/N couldn’t swallow the whimper that crawled up her constricted throat as she involuntarily stepped backward. Jared heard it and hushed her, gently encouraging her to walk toward the SUV. Jared put her suitcase in the back while she climbed into the back seat.
Jared climbed in after her. Once they were in, Jensen pulled away and headed toward her apartment. Sensing Y/N was not okay at that moment, he remained silent. Y/N had bent forward, resting her head on her knees, and wrapped her arms over her head. Jensen watched through the rear-view mirror as Jared gently lifted her from that position and moved her head to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, to shield her from the storm.
“Jen, you got a blanket or something back here?” Jared asked quietly.
“Under the passenger seat,” Jensen answered just as quietly. Jared reached down and grabbed it, opened it, and wrapped it around Y/N to hide her from the storm. He felt her tremble slightly in his arms but didn’t know how to comfort her.
By the time they got to her apartment building, the storm had finally been starting to move away. Jensen pulled her suitcase while Jared escorted her up to the apartment with his arm around her shoulders, her backpack over one shoulder. It took Y/N a few times to unlock her door thanks to her shaking hands, but once she did, she invited the guys in.
“I’ll order Door Dash, get us some tacos from Abuela’s. It can be here in twenty minutes or so,” she said quietly. “Just… give me a second.” Y/N grabbed her stuff from the guys and took it into her bedroom. Jared watched from where he stood as she set her backpack on a chair she had in the corner of the room, opening it, and pulling out her phone. The guys then got comfortable.
Y/N walked back out a few minutes later, dressed in a fresh sweatshirt. Her face was scrubbed clean and her hair was in a messy ponytail. She walked over to the small bookshelf she used as a bar, pulled a bottle of vodka out, and poured two fingers into a glass. She threw a pill in her mouth then chased it with a sip of the vodka.
“You guys know where everything is, so make yourselves at home. I ordered our usual, so it should be here shortly,” Y/N said with a smile. “Thanks for coming to get me.”
“Anytime, sweetheart,” Jensen said with a grin, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Just a few questions first.”
“Why am I scared of thunder and lighting, and what pill did I just take with vodka?” Y/N just asked sardonically, a raised brow and smirk playing on her lips.
“Uh…. Yeah,” Jensen said with a nod. “To start.” Y/N curled up in her oversized chair, the guys taking over her couch. She got herself comfortable, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands.
“Growing up in Florida, you’d think I’d get over the storms eventually. I mean, during the summer you literally have a thunderstorm daily. Between 3 or 4 in the afternoon, it never fails. Crash, boom, bang, bad lightning, loud thunder, torrential downpour, done in thirty, back to the sunshine,” she explained. “But it’s not the normal storms that really mess with you. It’s getting caught in a hurricane that screws with you.”
Understanding dawned on Jared. Y/N wasn’t scared of the storms themselves.
“You’re not actually scared of thunder and lightning,” Jared said, shaking his head. Y/N shook hers.
“Not exactly,” she answered. “But the storms remind me a little too much of a few brutal hurricanes I’ve lived through where I lost damn near everything. Including one time when I almost died. Sometimes when I’m really tired or I’m not in the right headspace…”
“You can’t tell the difference,” Jared finished. Y/N nodded.
“Exactly. When I know it’s coming, I take something for anxiety, go to sleep, and wake up as if nothing happened. But it’s not always like that. When I’m caught off guard with it like with the prank or am delayed and get caught flying in a storm like today… the anxiety wins. It sucks because logically I know I’m not in a hurricane. My body and my emotions can’t tell the difference though.”
The three sat in silence for a few minutes, digesting the new information. The boys weren’t strangers to hurricanes themselves, being from Texas. Florida, however, was the state that was known for getting hit with them.
“What storms have you been through?” Jared asked. Y/N laughed at the question at first, thinking back.
“Oh, God, um…” she started. “So many. I can tell you the bad ones?” Jared shrugged and she took a few minutes to think back on it. “Let’s see…. Andrew was bad. That was a Cat 5. Ivan and Jeanne were back to back in 2004. Those two sucked. We were in hiatus for Matthew and then I was home for Irma…”
Y/N was looking off in the distance and didn’t realize that both Jared and Jensen were staring at her wide-eyed and in awe. They didn’t realize that she had been through such intense hurricanes during her time in Florida, let alone during her time with the show.
“Wait, you were back on set for Irma weren’t you?” Jensen interrupted her.
“For a few weeks, yeah, but then they sent me home for a month while you guys shot those three episodes without me,” she said with a smile. “Irma took out the entire state. Jacksonville was underwater completely.”
“I’ll be damned,” Jensen said, turning to look at Jared.
“I’m really sorry, Jared. I shouldn’t have gone off like I did when you pranked me. I’m really sorry about that. It had been a knee-jerk reaction to something I went through a few years ago before I got here and worked on the show. When I walked into the trailer and just saw flashes of light and heard the thunder machine, I was taken back to when…” she paused to take a breath. “…trees were being ripped up to take out power lines, transformers were blowing up, floodwaters were rising and… well… you get the idea.”
Just then, the doorbell rang. Y/N smiled at the guys.
“Tacos are here,” she said standing up. The guys rose with her. Jensen elbowed Jared, making a gesture that said “go help her, talk to her” and Jared made a vulgar one back. Jensen walked into the kitchen to get them drinks, plates, and napkins with a smirk on his face. Jared took the bags from Y/N’s hands so she could sign the slip held out to her.
“Kitchen table or coffee table?” Jared asked. Y/N shrugged.
“Whichever is easiest,” she answered. Jared took the food to the kitchen and started to unpack the bags onto the kitchen table. Jensen then set out the plates and drinks: beers for him and Jared, water for Y/N. When she walked in, he pointed a finger at her.
“You’re cut off,” he said. She laughed.
“Fair enough,” she responded.
“How much did you buy?” Jared asked, pulling out container after container of food.
“Each taco meal comes with rice and beans. I eat three. Jensen eats three to six. You? You could probably eat ten. I just made it simple and got two family packs, so we should have twenty tacos, two sides of rice, two sides of refried beans, two sides of black beans, two things of chips and queso, two bowls of salsa and two orders of those churros. Oh, and a side of sour cream because I’m out,” Y/N answered with wide eyes. Jared simply stared at her, which made her chuckle. “What? I like Mexican food.”
“Clearly,” Jared said. Jensen ignored them, sat down, and started to dig in. The other two took their seats as well.
“Well, now I have leftovers for the next day or two until my grocery delivery comes in,” Y/N said, grabbing three tacos and putting them on her plate. Jared was busy fixing his own plate.
“You think you’ll have leftovers?” Jensen asked after a swallow from his beer.
“You think you’ll eat four take-out containers full of beans?” Y/N countered. Jensen snorted.
“I won’t, but he might,” he said, pointing at Jared who was busy dumping a healthy serving of refried beans onto his plate. Y/N watched him, then grabbed a container of black beans and stood.
“Good point,” she said as she walked to her refrigerator, putting them in there. Jensen laughed. The three caught up as they ate their taco dinner, enjoying each other’s company after being separated for two weeks. It was late when the two men got ready to leave.
“Thanks for everything tonight, guys,” Y/N said as she gave each one a hug. Jensen kissed the side of her head.
“Gotta keep the demon happy,” he said, causing Y/N to roll her eyes. Jared gave her a big hug, lifting her feet off the ground. Her laughter echoed in the hallway.
“I’m sorry for the prank,” he said earnestly. Y/N waved it off.
“I’m sorry for overreacting,” she replied. “Now, get out of here. Get some sleep.” The guys made their way to Jensen’s SUV silently. It wasn’t until Jensen was pulling back onto the road that he spoke.
“Feel better now?” he asked. Jared took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Title – Of Nightmares and Sandalwood Pairings – Y/N & Dean Word Count – 3,928 Warnings – Do Nightmares count? Cursing, arguing SPNMixedBingo Square filled – Early Morning, Touch Starvation, Bed Sharing Prompt: “I don’t sleep. My mind has the scary capability of being dark and demented.” “you are afraid of your dreams?” “Yes,” he said quietly.
She doesn’t know what wakes her up, only that something was off, and she couldn’t sleep until she fixed whatever it was. Rolling over and looking at the clock, Y/N realized that it was just before three in the morning.
With a sleepy groan, Y/N climbed out of her warm bed. She reached for a flannel (undoubtedly stolen from one of the brothers, she’s certain) to pull over her tank top and shorts. She slipped on her flip-flops before wandering out of her room to see what was out of the ordinary.
The kitchen was dark, the dishes sitting in the drying rack, so it wasn’t that. Sam’s bedroom door was closed, and she could hear his gentle snores behind it, so she knew it wasn’t him. The bathroom light was off and the door was open, so no one was there.
Dean’s bedroom door, however, was open. Curiously, Y/N walked toward his room and looked inside to find his bed unmade and empty. Frowning, she walked down the hall to the library in search of the older Winchester. The expansive room designated as the ‘Dean Cave’ was dark and empty, as was the library. It wasn’t until she heard familiar music coming from the garage that she got the idea to check there.
Opening the door quietly, she spotted him. He was standing barefooted in the garage with the hood of Baby up, dressed in dirty jeans and a black t-shirt that fit snugly over his chest and shoulders. His expression held a world of unspeakable pain that he couldn’t seem to hide as he focused on some invisible problem with the classic car, his mind a million miles away.
Y/N frowned as she stared thoughtfully at him, knowing something wasn’t right.
Gently closing the door behind her, she walked up to the cooler Dean had a beer sweating on. She picked up the bottle and took a long pull from it, switching off the music with her other hand. The entire garage instantly plunged into silence, causing Dean to startle. He turned on her quickly, pulling his loaded gun from the small of his back and pointing it at her chest in less than a second. His fierce eyes narrowed, a controlled fury there she hadn’t seen in over a decade.
She swallowed the hoppy beer, carefully set the bottle back down, and gently leaned against one of the older cars that were parked in the garage.
“Morning, stranger,” she muttered, a tired frown on her face. Dean grunted at her as he pulled the loaded gun away from her direction, uncocking it and carefully putting it back where it came from.
“Dammit, Y/N. I could have killed you,” he muttered gloomily. Y/N simply raised a brow at him. “And quit drinking my beer!”
“Why are you armed inside the bunker? You know it’s safe here, Dee,” she answered instead. Dean intentionally threw her a dirty look before leaning against the car again, looking down into the engine block. He willfully refused to properly answer her. She tried again.
“Hey, what’s going on?” she asked gently. Dean tried to ignore her once again. Y/N frowned at him. She looked at the Impala, remaining quiet for a few minutes. Dean didn’t move. After a while, Y/N started to shiver, so she pulled the flannel she had on around herself tighter.
“It’s really late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. Why are you awake right now?” she asked. Dean snapped and slapped the side of the car, causing a loud sound to echo in the garage and Y/N to jump.
“What’s with the twenty questions, Y/N? Can’t you tell I want to be left alone? Can’t you get the hint?” Dean shouted furiously at her. Y/N looked down and away, away from his angry face. She felt her emotions start to overwhelm her again, but she swallowed down her frustration. She refused to be deterred. His deflection wasn’t going to work this time. She started picking at the sleeves of the flannel she wore
“No,” she said quietly.
“What?!” Dean snapped at her. Y/N carefully lifted her eyes and stared thoughtfully at Dean, her face not giving away her emotions.
“I said, no,” she repeated herself. “I can’t just go back inside and act like I don’t know that you are out here hurting. I want to give you your space and let you take out your frustration or whatever it is you are feeling on Baby, but I just can’t walk away this time.” She shrugged, looking away.
“Sorry,” she said distantly, as she diligently studied the car she was leaning on. Dean stared at her, his hands on his hips. He undoubtedly knew he was being cruel. But it was his typical reaction to lash out and push people away. After a long minute, he released a long, heavy sigh.
“I had a nightmare,” he said quietly. Y/N looked over at him silently, encouraging him to continue speaking. She watched as Dean walked over to the Impala and rested his hands on the end of the car, leaning over the engine block yet again.
“What was it about?” Y/N asked, her voice soft in the large room. Dean gently shook his head, staring down at the car once again. “Must have been pretty bad if it’s keeping you awake right now.”
“I’m fine, Y/N,” Dean growled impatiently. Y/N bit her tongue. Yeah, you look terrific. Instead, she just watched as he stared sightlessly at the engine again.
“Why don’t we go inside? I’ll make us something to eat, or maybe we can just grab a few drinks,” she politely suggested. Anything to get that icy cold look off his face. “We don’t even have to talk about the nightmare unless you want to.” Dean remained silent, but the twitch in his jaw showed her that the man heard her. After a few minutes of silence and Y/N sighed.
“Dean, come on. Work with me here,” Y/N started, standing up straight to face the older brother. That’s when Dean snapped again. He reached up and slammed the hood of the Impala, much rougher than he typically would. He turned toward her and growled.
“I’ve about had it with you, Y/N, and your feel-good bullshit. I just said I didn’t want to talk to you, and I don’t want to talk about it,” he shouted. Y/N wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore, only that she was done with him and with his bullshit.
“Stop fucking yelling at me!” Y/N finally shouted back, causing Dean to shut his mouth with an audible click. “Jesus Christ, Dean. What the hell is your problem? Not everyone is your fucking enemy or is trying to hurt you. I’m not trying to fucking hurt you!”
Dean stared at her, his breathing harsh through his nose as he tried to control his temper and his raging emotions as he watched Y/N finally lose her temper with him.
“I woke up, and I didn’t know why. I was merely checking on you and Sam and noticed you were missing. I’m so sorry that my checking on you was such a fucking inconvenience to you, Dean!” she bellowed snidely. The two glared defiantly at each other for a long minute. Finally, Y/N held her hands up in a surrender motion.
“You know what,” she started, her voice low and monotone. “Forget I said anything. You want to stay out here and wallow in self-pity and whatever bullshit you got rolling around in that head of yours instead of talking to me about it, be my guest. I’m done.” Y/N turned on her heel and walked toward the door out of the garage and back into the main part of the bunker.
For reasons Dean didn’t understand, he instantly started to panic.
“Y/N,” he said cautiously to get her attention.
“Go fuck yourself,” she muttered fiercely, simply waving her hand at him. She swung open the door, moments away from crossing the threshold. His panic grew, and he intuitively knew if he didn’t get her attention back now, he would be doing irrevocable damage to their relationship.
“Y/N!!”
That stopped her. Dean’s voice sounded agonized, hurt, and broken down. But at this point, so was Y/N. She turned back to look at him, one foot inside the pleasant warmth of the bunker and ready to forget this even happened.
“What?!” she snapped at him; her kind eyes narrowed and glassy.
“I don’t sleep,” Dean said. Y/N’s expression changed from one of hurt and anger to one of confusion.
“What?” she bit out, confusion coloring her tone this time.
“I don’t sleep. After my nightmares, I don’t sleep. My subconscious mind has the scary capability of being dark and demented,” he gently explained, his eyes anywhere but on her face. “Once it starts, I can’t seem to stop it, so it’s just safer to… not sleep.”
“You’re afraid of your dreams?” Y/N asked softly, her heartbreaking for him.
“Yeah. Sure,” he said quietly. His weight subtly shifted between his bare feet.
Y/N watched him for a long moment, then walked back into the garage. The door slammed shut behind her, but she ignored it. Dean noticed she was walking toward him and shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling incredibly vulnerable now. Once she was next to him, Y/N carefully wrapped her hand around his arm, slid it down his soft skin, and held onto his wrist. She gently rested her head against his shoulder as she pulled his left hand out of his pocket and intertwined their fingers together.
Dean turned his head to look cautiously at her, his mask sliding into place so she couldn’t read what he was thinking. She didn’t need to see his face to feel his trepidation, his worry, his comfort at her closeness, or his self-loathing for feeling he didn’t deserve it. Y/N lifted her Y/C/E to Dean’s green ones.
“Do you trust me?” she asked quietly.
“You know I do,” Dean answered just as softly. Y/N offered a tiny smile before gently pulling him with her toward the direction of the door inside.
“Come on,” she whispered, tilting her head toward the door. Y/N squeezed his hand, then took a step back, away from the Impala. “Come on, Dean.”
Dean watched her try to pull him away from the car, the garage, his sanctuary, with pain-filled eyes before he closed them and sighed brokenly. It was then he finally moved and let Y/N pull him toward the door back inside the bunker. She turned away from him to see where she was going, but once they were down the stairs, she turned and looked back at him. When she looked back at Dean, he had his eyes fixed on the ground.
Y/N stepped closer to him, still leading them through the bunker, carefully wrapping his arm around her waist. She felt more than heard his breath catch as his fingers brushed against the bare skin of her belly from where her tank top rode up a little. He naturally tried pulling away, but she wouldn’t let him. He genuinely needed comfort, and she wasn’t going to let him deny himself that. Once they were in front of his room, she turned to look at him.
“I’m going to run to my room for a moment to grab some things. Be in bed by the time I get back,” she explained softly to him. Dean shook his head and instantly started to protest, which caused Y/N to hold up a dainty finger to his lips. His eyes opened fractionally at her soft touch.
“I wasn’t asking,” she said knowingly. She stared resolutely into Dean’s eyes until she saw when he relented, then nodded her head. She squeezed his hand before she turned and walked across the hall and down a few doors to where her room was. Once inside, she moved quickly. She grabbed her sandalwood and vanilla lotion, tucked her pillow under her arm, and turned off her diffuser. She emptied the water and oils she had in the machine already, wiping it out with a microfiber cloth.
Opening the small wooden case of oils, she chose a few scents she thought Dean would find calming: Sandalwood, Cinnamon, and Caramel. She put drops of the oils in the diffuser and grabbed a bottle of water to fill it with once she got back into Dean’s room. She grabbed her sound machine then left her room, using her elbow to flip off her light.
Walking into Dean’s room, she was pleased to see he had done what she had asked. He was lying on his back. His thick blanket was pulled to his waist, and he was staring wistfully at the ceiling. The room was dim and cool, the only light coming from a lamp on his nightstand. Y/N walked over to the bed and dropped the pillow from under her arm onto his bed. Dean turned his head to watch her.
Without saying a word, she went over to where his desk was and set all her items down. The first thing she did was plug in the diffuser. She set the machine on his desk, removed the lid, and opened the bottle of water in her hand. Filling the basin to the top of the waterline, she put the lid back on it. She then set it to run steadily throughout the next 8 hours. Sealing the water bottle once again, she moved to her next task.
She then turned her noise machine on to the sound of white noise. Typically, she’d fall asleep to the sound of ocean waves or rainfall, but this was for Dean. White noise was the easiest thing to choose. She set the volume to low: loud enough to be heard over the noise of the diffuser but quiet enough to be in the background and not keep them awake. She picked up her lotion and turned to face Dean.
“Take your shirt off and turn over on your belly,” she said softly, walking over to the bed. Dean stared at her for a long moment, wanting to argue. “Just trust me, Dean.”
With a huff, he sat up and pulled his t-shirt over his head. He tossed it aside and rolled over onto his belly, and settled down on his bed. Y/N grabbed her pillow and put it up next to Dean, so she had something to lay on, pulled off her flannel and tossed it over the chair, climbed up onto the bed, and straddled his hips. She felt Dean stiffen as her body touched his, and she instantly hushed him.
“It’s okay, Dean. Close your eyes and take deep breaths,” Y/N quietly said. Dean heard a soft ‘click’ of the lotion bottle opening, then silence. Slowly, Dean willingly let his eyes drift shut. He inhaled slowly, and the spicy scent that filled his senses started calming him almost instantly. When he exhaled, he felt Y/N’s soft hands run over his tense shoulders.
“That’s it,” he heard her say, her voice almost melodic. “Take some deep breaths. Inhale slowly, exhale just as slow. Let the sandalwood and cinnamon fill your senses, calm your mind, ease your spirits.”
Her hands started out gentle as they ran over his shoulders and up to his neck, slowly growing in pressure. Her hands would find a knot in his muscles and spend some extra time there, focusing on the spot and adding some careful pressure there to ease the tension. The entire time he continued his deep breaths, focusing on keeping them even and steady.
“I want you to think about something good, something that brings you joy,” Y/N said as her hands ran up and down his spine. “Think about a moment when you remember being completely at ease and relaxed. Who was there with you, where you were, what you were doing…”
Dean immediately thought of the evening a few nights ago, when the three of them were sitting around the library just hanging out and chatting. They were sharing a bottle of whiskey they found created by Metallica. When Dean found out about it, he was so excited he bought four bottles. They opened one immediately when they got home and just sat around the table and talked about music while passing the bottle around. He found out just how much music they all actually had in common that same night.
“Now take a deep breath, nice and slow…”
He inhaled, and the scent of vanilla filled his nose with the spicy scent of wood and cinnamon. He felt pressure on the base of his skull now, easing tension he didn’t even know he had there. He took a deep breath and released a soft moan of pleasure as he exhaled, turning his head so that Y/N had easy access to his neck and skull.
“Just breathe easy and let the tension go… Focus on the good and release the tension in your body…”
Her warm hands felt so good sliding across his skin, putting pressure on different parts of his body that were sore. He was feeling peaceful with the warmth of her body close to his, and he felt himself drifting…
“Take a deep breath, Dean. In through your nose and release slowly out through your mouth,” he heard her soft voice say next to his ear. He inhaled slowly, and when he exhaled, he felt her warm hands put solid pressure on the muscles next to his spine, moving slowly upward. He felt the vertebra give, popping deeply and releasing tension as her hands moved their way from his lower back upward to his shoulders. It pulled a deep moan from him as his muscles gave a slight twitch before relaxing under her touch. Once she had finished the pressure trail up to his neck, she ran her hands gently up and down his spine.
“There you go,” he heard her soft voice mumble gently to him. “Just breathe deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Let the scent of sandalwood and vanilla calm you. Clear your mind of any thoughts and rest.”
Dean felt the pressure again, but this time against his neck and skull. Y/N pressed her thumbs at the base of his skull, pushing down against the soft spot at the center and brushing outward to where the occipital nerve rests on each side. At first, he tensed up again, but remembering what she said about breathing, he forced himself to relax and continue the deep breathing. Soon, the soft touches grew deeper and harder, gently pressing the tension away.
With everything that was happening all at once, he caught himself slowly growing tired, and sleep danced on the edges of his consciousness. He fought the urge to slip away until he heard Y/N start humming above him. Just as he floated off to sleep, he realized she was humming Hey Jude.
When Y/N realized that he was asleep, she intentionally slowed her hands against his skin until she stopped moving altogether. Moving as slow as she possibly could, she gracefully slid off Dean’s body and reached over to turn off the light. The room instantly dropped into complete darkness, and Y/N used her hands to guide her to the opposite side of Dean’s bed. With careful movements, she slid under the covers and curled up next to Dean.
She ran her fingers through his short hair, running her fingers down his back to where the sheet and blanket rested at his waist. Using careful and slow movements, she gently pulled them up over them both. Once they were properly covered, she leaned over and tenderly kissed Dean on the temple.
“Good night, Dee,” she whispered almost silently into his ear before snuggling up against him. With a deep sigh, Y/N felt herself relax off to sleep herself.
The next time he became aware of his surroundings, he felt a pleasant warmth pressed up against him. It was in his arms. He took a deep breath, and the spicy scent that calmed him the night before was still lingering nearby. He realized, quite suddenly, that he had slept soundly the rest of the night after a horrific nightmare.
He slowly opened his eyes, looking down to find Y/N wrapped in his arms. Her head rested peacefully on her pillow, her back pressed against his chest, his arm wrapped around her waist. Dean stared at her, uncertain what to think.
“Stop thinking so hard, it’s still too early,” Y/N muttered, her voice rough with sleep. She snuggled down into her pillow, her body pressing closer against Dean’s.
“I slept through the night last night,” he said softly. Y/N smiled; eyes still closed.
“Yes, you did,” she said.
“I haven’t slept through the night after a nightmare. Ever,” Dean said thoughtfully. “How did you do that?”
“Hmmm?” Y/N hummed sleepily, rolling over and gently pushing at Dean. He promptly turned onto his back and let Y/N curl up on his chest; her hand curled up next to her face, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder. Dean wrapped his arm around her, running his fingers up and down her arm. Y/N smiled gently at his touch.
“I said, how did you get me to sleep through the night after a nightmare?” he asked softly, tilting his head toward hers. Y/N pulled in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Is the diffuser still running?” she questioned. When Dean didn’t respond, she repeated herself. Dean lifted his head and looked around his room until his eyes fell on a small machine shooting a mist into the air on his desk. When he asked if that was it, he confirmed it was still going.
“Then it’s not time to get up yet. Go back to sleep, I’ll explain it later,” Y/N said. Dean looked down at the woman in his arms and let a smile play on his lips. He carefully brushed a kiss on her forehead then snuggled down under the blankets and closed his eyes.
Maybe he should have nightmares more often if it meant he got to wake up with Y/N in his arms, asleep in his bed. Maybe he could have this after all, and it would be okay. Maybe there was something more here than he originally thought. Maybe… Dean felt a hand against his cheek, causing his eyes to open, then slip shut as he felt Y/N’s soft lips press against his in a tender kiss.
Their mouths moved against each other gently, cautiously feeling each other’s lips against each other sweetly. Just as Dean was about to deepen the chaste kiss, Y/N pulled away and slowly opened her eyes to stare at him.
“You’re thinking too much. Go back to sleep,” she whispered, gently brushing a delicate fingertip over his mouth. “I’ll answer all of your questions in a few hours. Then maybe we can try this again.”
Dean watched as Y/N shot him a sleepy grin, then settled back down against him. He blinked once, then twice, then broke into a huge smile. Tightening his arms around the extraordinary woman in his bed, he buried himself into her and the delicious warmth of her skin. There was a promise of something exciting and new waiting for him after they woke up once again.
If all his nightmares had this kind of outcome, he’d take all the night terrors he could get.
Title:Here’s to us Pairings: Misha, Jared, Jensen, OC Word Count: 3,881 Warnings: Cursing, verbal fight SPNMixedBingo Square filled – Halloween
When Y/N joined the show, she fit in like a piece to the puzzle they didn’t even know was missing. But after a while, Jared started to feel anxious. Everywhere he turned, Y/N was standing right there. She was laughing with Jensen, hanging all over Misha, she even showed up to their dinners. He started to worry she was taking his place in their lives. It all comes out in a burst of angry words when they were trying to finish a scene before the Halloween party, leaving hurt feelings and triggered habits in its wake.
Y/N puts Jared in his place the only way she knows how, but not before Jensen and Misha reassure him of his place in their lives. After all, they are family… right?
Music selections are Uncomfortable and Here’s to Us, both by Halestorm
AN: I don’t know what this is. I wrote it and rewrote it a bunch of times with a specific direction in mind, and it might become a series. I’ve hinted at the direction it may be going in. I haven’t written any smut stories, and the direction this would take would be diving into a particular pool of smut that would fit in the taboo category for some. But maybe you’d like that. It’d be fun to write. Tell me if that’s something you’d read, taboo smut.
The Supernatural crew decided this year for Halloween, they were going to go all out and throw a costume party, complete with a band-slash-DJ, catering, a bar, the works. Everyone was required to be there and be in costume, including the newest member of the show, Y/N.
Y/N joined the cast mid-season as Sam’s guardian angel, much like how Castiel was Dean’s. She played Sarah, this misfit renegade who invariably tended to rebel more than follow the rules. The talented actress genuinely seemed to fit into the key role perfectly with her carefree attitude and sharp tongue. She gave as good as she got, had just as dirty of a mind as the rest of them, and had a wicked sense of humor that kept all of them on their toes.
When Misha suggested his close friend Y/N for the role, she resisted a little bit. Every female actress on Supernatural had been killed off in some dramatic way and she was looking for a bit more stability than a frequent guest appearance. But when the directors met her and she read lines with Jared, there was chemistry there. Misha knew his friend was going to be around for more than just a season.
But, throwing her into the mix of the already established friendships between Jared, Jensen, and Misha caused some unintended jealousy and friction, and those emotions played on camera. Particularly with Jared.
Not that he had anything to worry about; his friendships with Jensen and Misha were solid. Yet, every time he saw Y/N laughing and goofing around with Jensen or flirting with Misha with her head on his shoulder, an irrational fury boiled in his gut and he found himself becoming territorial. He didn’t understand it. Why am I reacting this way? He thought.
It all came to a head on the day of the party. He and Y/N were with a skeleton crew on the bunker set with trying to finish filming a scene. Sarah was supposed to console Sam after yet another argument with Dean. They just couldn’t get the right tone. Sam continued to come off defensive instead of melancholy, and it was starting to frustrate the crew who were eager to get changed and get to the party. Dennis, the director for that episode, called for a five-minute break to give everyone a moment to breathe.
Y/N sat down on top of one of the tables in the library and watched Jared pace the small room as the crew reset the lights. She frowned as she watched Jared quietly, trying to decide how to approach this with him. He seemed really agitated right then.
“Is there something wrong? We don’t usually have problems getting through scenes together,” Y/N asked gently, kind eyes following Jared. She saw his shoulders tense at her question. Jared shot her a fierce glare, not answering her question.
“Okay… Is it me? Do you need me to say the lines differently?” she asked, trying a different tactic.
“It’s fine, Y/N,” he said sharply. Y/N’s eyes narrowed a little, not appreciating being snapped at.
“Hey, I’m just trying to help, Jared,” Y/N said.
“Well, I don’t need your help, Y/N,” Jared growled.
“What the fuck? Why are you biting my head off, what’s the problem, Jared?” Y/N asked; her own voice sharpening. Jared ignored her again. “Seriously, what’s your malfunction?”
“YOU, okay, Y/N? You are my problem. You come in here, and you just take over everything and suddenly it’s all about you,” Jared snapped, turning, and glaring at you. Y/N blinked at the viciousness in his voice.
“What are you talking about?” she questioned, confusion etched across her face.
“Guys, c’mon,” the director, Dennis, said, but Y/N waved him off.
“No, I want to know what he’s talking about,” Y/N said, her eyes never leaving Jared. “What do you mean it’s all about me? What’s all about me?”
“Everything!”Jared shouted, holding his arms open wide. Y/N was startled at his outburst. “Every time I turn around, you’re hanging all over Jensen or making eyes at Misha. You’re always around, butting your way into everything we do, everywhere we go. I go to wardrobe. You’re there. I go to make up. You’re there. Hell, I went out to dinner the other night with the guys, and you were there!!”
“I was invited,” Y/N said quietly.
“I don’t care!” Jared yelled. Y/N closed her eyes at his raised voice before opening her watery eyes and looking at him as he carried on. Swallowing hard around the lump that had lodged itself in her throat, she slowly stood from her seated position atop the table.
“I think we’re done for tonight, everyone,” Y/N said quietly, her voice strained as she forced herself not to give away her emotions.
“That’s not your call to make,” Jared snapped. Y/N clenched her jaw.
“No, but it is mine, and I think you’ve done enough, Jared. Get out of here,” Dennis said, his hands on his hips. Jared opened his mouth to say something, but the director cut him off. “Say something. I dare you. If you don’t want me to call Kim, I suggest you do what I said and get the fuck out of here. Now.”
Jared glared at him for a moment before storming off, slamming the door behind him. Y/N jumped at the sound of the door slam, then let out a shaky breath she didn’t even realize she had been holding. She looked up at the crew who was whispering amongst themselves. Scarlet covered her cheeks as she eyed them with worried eyes.
“No one is to talk about what happened in here just now, am I clear?” Dennis said to the small crew that was still around. “You talk about it, and you’re off the show. Understood?” Murmurs of agreement echoed through the room and Dennis nodded.
“Go get ready for the party tonight,” he said dejectedly. Slowly, the room emptied and the only two people left there were Dennis and Y/N. Y/N had moved back to the table and leaned against it, staring off into the distance. Dennis walked over and stood next to her.
“You gonna be okay?” he asked her.
“Not exactly the best time to learn your co-worker hates you,” Y/N answered with a chuckle that had zero humor in it.
“He doesn’t hate you,” Dennis said. “He’s just…”
“Jealous. He thinks I’m stealing his longtime friends away,” Y/N responded. She smiled gently in a self-deprecating way and shook her head. “Not the first time I’ve had to deal with it.”
“Jared’s complicated, Y/N. He’s more sensitive than most guys I know, and sometimes he takes things to heart without knowing the whole story. Just give him some space; he’ll work it out on his own,” Dennis said, bumping shoulders with her. Y/N nodded her head slowly.
“Think I’m gonna skip the Halloween party tonight, though,” she said. “No point in going somewhere I’m not wanted.”
“That’s up to you, but I know there will be some people who will be disappointed you won’t be there,” Dennis said. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “C’mon. I’ll walk you to your trailer.”
Once Y/N was inside her trailer, she collapsed on her couch and blew out a heavy breath. The argument with Jared brought up a lot of old feelings that she didn’t want to deal with and made her want to reach for her old methods of dealing with stress and trauma. She promised Misha that she would contact him before she would do anything stupid, though, and the last thing she wanted was to ruin his night. So, she did the next best thing.
Throwing her hair up into a tight bun at the base of her neck, she stood and walked over to the cabinet over the small sink that was supposed to be part of the kitchen. Opening the top cabinet, she pulled out a shot glass and a bottle of Fireball. She poured herself a shot and threw it back, letting it burn all the way down to her belly.
“If I’m gonna do this, then I’m gonna do it right,” she said out loud to herself as she poured another shot. This one she carried with her to the dinette set and sipped it as she slid into the chair and opened her old school Caboodle to get to her make-up. A smirk danced across her lips as she eyed her favorites before flipping the mirror up and started on her eyes.
It was twenty minutes later that a chirp from her phone interrupted the silence. Looking over to the couch, she reached over to grab the cellular device and opened it to her unread texts.
*What’s the verdict? You in or you out?* it read. She looked up at her reflection, looking at her perfect smokey eyes, and added lashes to make them stand out. A little bit of red glitter lined her bottom lashes so every time she blinked; a shimmer sparkled. She carefully put her red gem nose ring back in and carefully lined her lips with her favorite Lime Crime lipstick – Blood Moon.
*I’m in. And I have some additions to make* she responded. Grabbing her blush, she added a bit to her cheeks before the pale pink shimmer on top of it. When she was done, she got her reply.
*Be there in 10. We can change the list up then* it read. Y/N nodded, then grabbed her setting spray. A few sprits on her face and she closed her kit up and stood. She stripped off her shirt as she made her way to the bedroom at the back of the trailer and opened the small closet there. Inside sat a black wardrobe bag with a red lightning bolt on it. Throwing her shirt on the bed, she unzipped the bag and proceeded to get dressed before the rest of her crew showed up.
Jared walked into the party with his cowboy hat low on his head, carefully hiding his eyes. He didn’t want to be there. He was still angry about the situation on set, though he also felt embarrassed about losing his cool as well. He never should have lashed out at Y/N just because he was feeling insecure and jealous. That was his problem, not hers.
“Jay!” he heard someone shout his name over the loud music, causing him to look up. Jensen was making his way over to him through the crowded bar area with two beers in his hand. He handed one of the sweating bottles to his friend, which Jared accepted gratefully.
“You okay?” Jensen asked. Jared eyed him and frowned.
“You know?” he asked. Jensen nodded with a chuckle.
“Yeah. Everyone here knows to comes find me and fill me in when you lose your shit like that. What happened?” Jensen asked. Jared sighed and shook his head, taking another long pull from his beer.
“It was stupid, man,” Jared said grimly after a bit. Jensen merely nodded.
“Most of the time it is. But that doesn’t make it any less important. We’ve talked about this, dude. If it’s enough to make you do that, it’s important enough to talk about. What. Happened?” Jensen asked again. Jared deflated, his shoulders slumping forward, causing Jensen to reach out and put a hand on the back of Jared’s neck for support. Jensen then spotted Misha moving towards them.
When Misha heard what happened between Jared and Y/N, he instantly got angry with Jared. Y/N was one of his closest friends and he’d be damned if Jared would lay into her like that without provocation. It was a conversation with Jensen that reminded him that Jared’s depression had been messing with him lately. Chances are, that’s where this is all stemming from. It was that comment that made Misha call Y/N to make sure she was okay, considering her own battles with the mental disease.
“I’m okay, Dimitri,” she said quietly, invariably knowing the use of his real name was their code for yes, I’m really okay. No, I’m not lying to you. “I genuinely thought about it, but I didn’t want to bother you, so I intentionally chose a different direction.”
“Fireball,” Misha said gratefully with a smirk. Y/N chuckled.
“Fireball.”
“Okay, well. You know it doesn’t matter what’s going on, you can always call me. You are never a burden to me. I will always come when you call me, no matter what I’m doing,” he said soothingly. He could hear Y/N smile on the other end.
“I know. That’s why I don’t take it for granted,” Y/N said.
When Misha saw Jensen consoling Jared, he changed direction so he could walk over. While he wasn’t as close to the two men as he was to Y/N, he wanted to make sure Jared knew everything was okay. Y/N wasn’t going to hold any grudges against him. But Jensen gently shook his head when he caught Misha’s eye, silently asking for distance. Misha frowned but agreed and detoured away from the two.
Jared explained to Jensen what happened on set earlier that evening. Occasionally, Jensen would gently squeeze his neck reassuringly. At some point, the two made their way to a table and sat down next to each other, away from the thumping speakers and the loud music. It seemed obvious to everyone that they needed to be left alone. When Jared finished, he felt tired and miserable.
“Okay, I’m going to say some things. I just need you to listen to me. Okay?” Jensen asked, looking at Jared intently. Jared nodded his head, his eyes still looking down. Jensen gently squeezed his neck. “Gonna have to have you look at me for this, Jay.”
Jared took a deep breath and adjusted himself in his chair so he could look at Jensen. The fierce frown on his face and considerable pain in his eyes showed just how much all of this was undoubtedly hurting him.
“Number one,” Jensen started, holding up a finger. “No one, ever, is going to come between you and me. You are my brother, man, and I don’t just mean on tv. So, you need to put that out of your mind. Y/N is amazing, and I genuinely like her a lot, but she isn’t you.”
Jared blinked his eyes a few times to clear the wetness that instantly started to gather there and looked down, nodding understandingly.
“Number two,” Jensen continued gently. “Misha has known Y/N for over a decade, and they have a thing going on.” Jared cautiously lifted his head to look at Jensen with a raised brow, and he shook his head.
“I don’t know, he’s married… But they… you know what? It doesn’t matter, it’s between them. The point is – they have a history,” Jensen properly said. “But just because they have a history and are really close, doesn’t mean that Misha doesn’t love you too. And dude, you know he would do anything for you. The two of you are dangerous together.”
Jared chuckled at that part, thinking back to all the pranks they got together on to pull on Jensen. He still hasn’t heard the end of it when they filled Jensen’s trailer full of packing peanuts. Misha helped him with that one and the photos were hanging up in his room still.
“And number three,” Jensen started. “Next time you have concerns about stuff like this, come talk to us about it. Had I known that you were feeling doubtful or concerned? We could have handled this differently. It needed to be handled differently…”
“What do you mean?” Jared asked when Jensen trailed off.
“Let’s just say I learned some essential things about Y/N that I would never have guessed were a worsening problem. Kind of like how we learned about your depression,” Jensen said pointedly. Jared’s face dropped as slight panic encompassed his eyes.
“Oh, God, Jen. What did she do?” Jared asked, his voice shaking slightly. Jensen was already shaking his head.
“She didn’t do anything. According to Misha, she ended up shooting some Fireball and got ready for the party. But she has some unfortunate habits that Misha has made her swear to call him about, as well as a few other things he keeps an eye on. The reason I’m telling you this is not to make you feel bad. I’m serious Jay. I’m telling you this because if anyone is going to understand what you are feeling, it’s going to be Y/N,” Jensen explained gently. Jared studied him for a long moment, then nodded.
“I’m not telling you to not come to me, because if you stop coming to me, imma be pissed,” Jensen said with a kind smile, one Jared couldn’t help but return. “I want you to come to me. I need to know what’s going on with you. I’m just saying, she might be able to help you understand why you feel the way you do sometimes. She’s been battling with it since she was a teen. She may have some better insight than I do.”
Jared nodded again, lost in his own thoughts until the music died down and the sound of a guitar being tuned was heard through the sound stage. This got both men’s attention, and they turned to look at the stage. Misha suddenly appeared nearby and waved at them to come with, a brilliant smile on his face.
“You aren’t gonna want to miss this,” Misha said mysteriously. Jared and Jensen looked at each other confused then followed him to the stage. Most of the band was men dressed in black pants, concert tees, and boots. The one who was tuning the guitar had a red mohawk down the center of his head. The drummer had neon green dreadlocks on his head. But the one person who captured their attention was the single woman on the makeshift stage.
She had her back to the growing audience, but that didn’t stop them from staring. She had these knee-high platform boots on with buckles all the way to the top, with torn fishnet stockings hugging very sexy legs. A short, black peasant-style skirt fell mid-thigh, and it was accented with tulle at the bottom to make it poof out around her. The halter top she wore left her back exposed, and they could see the tattoo of wings covering her shoulders.
When she turned around, they realized the black halter top had red threading in it, glistening in the light from time to time. The black and red of the outfit matched the black and red hair on the woman’s head, bangs swept over her eyes. On her wrists, she had a multitude of leather bracelets… some even with studs. The skull earrings she had in glistened in the light, and occasionally, they caught the glint of a red gemstone in her nose.
Her eyes danced across the crowd as the band started to play, landing on Misha. A devilish smirk suddenly appeared on her face as she eyed Jared and Jensen.
I did it ‘cause I wanna and I did it 'cause I’m gonna And I did it just because I can I did it 'cause it makes me feel so good And I did it because fuck “the man” I did it 'cause I’m crazy and no one’s gonna save me And I did it just to cut the noise I did it 'cause I’m drunk and I did it yeah, so what? 'Cause baby you’re just one of the boys
“Holy shit,” Jensen muttered under his breath.
“Is that…?” Jared asked. Misha nodded with a devious smirk on his own face.
“Yep.”
I do it 'cause you hate me and I do it for the ladies And with all my good time friends I do it 'cause the whole damn worlds gone crazy And fuck it man This is the end
I did it all, to break every single preconceived notion that you have I did it all to rape every single one of your emotions And just to make you
Uncomfortable
The two of them watched in awe as Y/N continued to rock out, only recognizing her by the sound of her voice. Misha rocked along with the song, knowing that she had been working on that one for a while now. He was thrilled that she opened with it, showing her confidence in her voice work. When the song was over, the entire room erupted with cheers.
“She’s amazing!” Jensen exclaimed with a delighted laugh as the band started up a second song. Misha nodded his head in agreeance.
“Make sure you tell her that. She needs the boost in confidence. She genuinely thinks she sounds like shit,” Misha shouted in his friend’s ear. Jensen’s jaw dropped.
“Are you fucking kidding me? She sounds just like Lizzy!” Jensen said. Misha just shrugged and looked back at the stage. Jared simply listened and eagerly watched the girl rock out. After three songs, Y/N stepped away from the microphone to grab a bottle of water. The red mohawk guy said something to her that made her throw her head back and laugh. Jared glanced cautiously at Misha and noticed he was smiling too. Jared gently nudged him.
“You mad at me?” he bent over and asked in his ear. Misha shrugged.
“I was, but she can be reactive too. I get it,” Misha said into his ear as the band started up again. This song was slower and more mellow compared to the three previous hard rock songs.
“Just remember, we aren’t going anywhere. We’re family,” Misha said, squeezing Jared’s arm. Jared pulled back, averting his eyes as he nodded. When he looked up, he realized Y/N was looking at him as she was singing.
Here’s to us, here’s to love All the times, that we messed up Here’s to you, fill the glass 'Cause the last few nights have kicked my ass If they give ya hell Tell em to go fuck themselves, here’s to us, here’s to us
Jared smiled gently at her, nodding his head slightly. Y/N intentionally raised a brow at him a saucy smirk on her lips as if she was legitimately asking if he got the point. Jared snickered slightly and thoughtfully rubbed the back of his neck. He then looked directly at her and pressed a hand against his heart before bowing his head a little. Y/N nodded slightly from the stage before averting her own eyes.
Jensen nudged his arm causing him to look over. He’d seen the private exchange and was smiling indulgently at his ‘brother’ with pride. Jared lifted an arm and wrapped it around Jensen for an affectionate hug before adding Misha to the group.
Jared knew he had nothing to worry about. His friends weren’t going to leave him high and dry for Y/N. In fact, if he gave her a chance, Y/N could be another one of his closest friends. He just had to remember the evil voices in his head aren’t always telling him the truth.
Title – Something to be Thankful For Pairings – Jensen/Reader Word Count – 2,498 Warnings – Nothing for this final chapter! Square filled – Thanksgiving
Jensen Ackles’ life changes when he walks into his favorite coffee shop and meets Y/N, a Florida girl making a new start in Austin, Texas, as a Sheriff’s Deputy with the help of her sister. The two hit it off and quickly become an item that even the tabloids can’t tear apart. Jensen is excited to show his girl off at Thanksgiving dinner with his family, but she has to work the parade that morning first. What starts out as a normal event filled with balloons, clowns, and cheery faces soon turns deadly as one of the floats explodes and gunfire fills the air. Soon, Y/N is in a fight for her life as she and the rest of the deputies fight back against whoever it is trying to take over Downtown Austin.
Is Jensen doomed to watch the woman who brought love back into his life perish in a tragic mass attack, or will he have Something to be Thankful For after all?
AN: Thank you so much for all the love for StbTF! You guys have seriously made my heart so full with your kind words. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO MY TAG LISTS!
Chapter 8
TIME STAMP – 9 MONTHS
“This was a good session, everyone,” the counselor said, closing the folder she had in her lap. “I’m proud of the progress each of you are making. I know it’s hard, and it’s still going to take some time, but know you are all doing great. We’ll see you next week.”
Y/N stood up from her chair and waved goodbye to a few of her fellow deputies. The Sheriff made it mandatory those who were involved in the fray on Thanksgiving were to attend counseling sessions. It was met with resistance from many people, but when word got around that the sessions were going to be run by Maya Sonder things changed.
Maya Sonder is a well-known psychologist in law enforcement and had done plenty of presentations regarding PTSD, stress management, and the like. In fact, some of her sessions were required for new deputies who were just starting out. After she led a few of the sessions with those specifically involved in the Thanksgiving shooting, requests came in for more sessions unrelated to that specific incident.
Now, Maya was an employee of the Sheriff’s Office with her own office on property. She had group counseling sessions daily and always had her door open for one-on-one sessions in the case of an emergency. Even civilian employees started to take advantage of her services. It did wonders for the morale of the agency.
Y/N pushed the doors to the administration offices open and walked out of the building, pulling her sunglasses from the top of her head, and placed them over her eyes. Scanning the parking lot, she spotted Jensen leaning against his truck and playing on his phone. Smiling, she made her way over to him. She had been halfway toward him before he looked up and spotted her, a smile gracing his own face.
“Hey, sailor,” she said in a sing-song voice. Jensen chuckled, and when they met in the center of the parking lot, he cupped a gentle hand against her cheek and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Y/N responded with a quiet whimper, rising on her toes to reach him.
“Get a room, you two! This is a business, not a brothel!” they both heard someone shout. Breaking away, they laughed as they turned to look at Trevor as he walked by them on the sidewalk.
“Hey, Trevor,” Jensen said, pulling Y/N into a hug.
“Hey, Jensen. Get her outta here. Enjoy your weekend together,” he said with a wave. Jensen looked down at Y/N in his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Sir, yes sir,” he responded, turning them toward his truck. Jensen kept his arm around Y/N’s shoulder. He opened the passenger side door and helped Y/N step up into his truck before closing the door and going to the driver’s side. When he climbed in, he looked over at Y/N with a cheeky grin.
“Hey, babe,” he said sweetly. Y/N leaned over pressed a kiss to his lips.
“Hey, yourself,” she responded. “Let’s get out of here.”
Jensen nodded and turned the truck on, putting it into drive. He held Y/N’s hand the entire ride home.
It had been a tough 9 months for them. She was finally walking without a limp and breathing without any pain in her chest. The only remaining signs she has from the attack during the Thanksgiving Day Parade are the scars: physical and mental. The bullet wound on her hip was already covered by a tattoo thanks to a trip with her sister. The one her leg is something she will have to live with; there is no covering the damage there. The one on her face is thankfully covered by her hair.
Jensen was still doing his own therapy group up in Vancouver, and sometimes Jared would go with him. A support group for loved ones of Law Enforcement was something that helped both not only understand the heavy physical demands that being an officer requires but also the emotional ones as well. It’s more than PT tests and name-calling. The insight the group was able to give allowed both men to understand why Y/N would react to certain sounds, why she had to sit with her back against a wall, or why she always had a weapon on her person when they went out.
While she did her weekly group therapy with people at the agency, she still did her own therapy outside of the agency once a week as well. Five months later, she still had a hard time accepting the fact that Danny’s death was not her fault. A shooting incident while on a call didn’t help matters much.
Jensen flew back to Austin to surprise Y/N with a long weekend together, only to find her curled up in the corner of their shared bedroom crying hysterically. When he realized what was going on, Jensen dropped his things and approached her.
“Y/N?” he said quietly, cautiously reaching out to her. “Honey?”
When he finally landed a gentle hand on her arm, she startled. Jensen sat back on his haunches to keep from being on the receiving end of a fist, but she didn’t lash out. She started to cry harder.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Jensen asked, reaching a hand up to her cheek. Instead of answering, Y/N reached for him. Jensen sat down on the floor with his back against the wall and pulled Y/N into his lap, pressing her head down on his shoulder. She gripped his shirt tightly with both hands, her sobs getting harsher. He just wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
Suddenly, her cell phone rang. Looking around for the mobile device, Jensen realized her cell phone was on the floor next to them. He reached over and grabbed it without letting go of Y/N, looking at the caller ID before answering it. Maya.
“Hey,” he answered in a strained voice.
“Jensen?” Maya said surprised. “Where is she? Are you with her?”
“What happened? She’s hysterical, and I can’t get her to calm down,” Jensen said.
“Whereareyou?” Maya asked again.
“What the hell happened, Maya? I came home from Vancouver to find my girlfriend in hysterics over something, and I can’t get her to calm down. What is going on?!” Jensen demanded. Maya sighed on the other line.
“We had… an… incident. A domestic violence suspect was barricaded inside his house, refusing to come out. It had been hours before we were able to get him to release his girlfriend and come out. He was able to get a few shots off before we neutralized the threat. No one died, but there are some injuries,” Maya summarized. Jensen closed his eyes and swallowed hard.
He then rattled off his address and hung up the phone, dropping it on the carpet next to him. He wrapped his arms around Y/N and pulled her closer to him, hushing her softly.
“It wasn’t your fault, babe,” he muttered quietly. “Danny wasn’t your fault. Todaywasn’t your fault.”
Y/N just cried harder, her arms wrapping around Jensen and clenching in his shirt behind his back. Jensen was rocking her slowly when he heard his front door open, and a voice calls out. He shouted back at them to direct them to the master bedroom. Moments later, Maya and a tall man were walking into the room.
Jensen glared at them as they carefully made their way over to where they were sitting on the floor. Maya knelt beside them, frowning with deep sorrow in her eyes. When she looked up at the man next to her, he shook his head.
They had come to find out the man who was with Maya was Trevor Benson, Y/N’s lieutenant. He had been worried about how Y/N was acting after the domestic violence scene and had been trying to get in touch with her to do a wellness check. When she didn’t respond, he got Maya involved. It wasn’t until Jensen answered the phone they finally located the hurting deputy.
Maya decided to add an extra counseling session to Y/N’s treatment and asked Trevor to be there. Since he had experience in attacks like what happened on Thanksgiving, and in losing deputies much like how Danny died, Maya thought maybe he could help Y/N learn to forgive herself.
“It’s not something you are ever going to forget, Y/N,” Trevor had told her during one session together. “But you can’t control what people choose to do. In Danny’s case, he chose to go into the open. That’s on him, not you.”
“I could have saved him if I wasn’t injured. He saved me,” Y/N said quietly, her eyes on her hands. “He helped me.”
“Even if you were at 100% Y/N, you were not going to be able to save him. The shot that took him was lethal. I know you want to believe you could have saved him, but sometimes bad things happen to good people. You are not to blame for this.”
The group sessions continued for months. Trevor even escorted Y/N to see Danny’s grave, something she had yet to do because she was feeling so guilty. He held her as she cried her grief and allowed her some time to talk to Danny by herself when she asked for it. After that, she had been doing better.
“Um, Jen?” Y/N suddenly asked. “Where are we going?”
“We’re going to dinner,” Jensen said with a smile. Y/N gave her adorable boyfriend of almost one year a suspicious look and Jensen laughed. “Just relax! Enjoy the evening.”
Jensen pulled up to Wink, one of Y/N’s favorite splurge restaurant’s in Austin. They discovered it one night early in their relationship, and Y/N fell in love with their art, small dishes, and local purchasing. It was something you simply didn’t get from places in Florida, so Y/N immediately fell in love with the place. Y/N’s eyes lit up when she saw where they were.
“Really? What’s the occasion?” she asked excitedly. Jensen chuckled as he handed the keys to the valet and wrapped her arm around his.
“I just wanted to do something nice for us. We deserve it,” he said softly. Y/N melted, kissing Jensen on the cheek as they walked in. He blushed slightly at the display of affection in front of the hostess, who giggled at them, before giving his name for the reservation. The two were escorted to a private table and were handed glasses of red wine immediately.
“What did you do?” Y/N asked suspiciously. Jensen laughed again.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Reservation already made, the wine already here, you’re up to something mister,” Y/N said with raised a brow at him. She took another long sip of her wine causing Jensen to laugh again.
“Just enjoy the dinner, honey,” he said as a plate of appetizers was placed in front of them. The evening went along beautifully as they enjoyed a wonderful meal. It gave them a chance to catch up after he was gone in Vancouver filming. He told stories from the set, and she laughed at the crazy antics. She filled him in on the happenings of Austin and how her sister was thinking of opening a second location near the Sheriff’s office.
Toward the end of the meal, the two were sharing a dessert when a slow song suddenly started playing. Jensen watched Y/N carefully, suddenly feeling insanely nervous.
“Hey, wait a minute…” Y/N said, listening carefully. Jensen set his spoon down and wiped his mouth. “Isn’t this… Oh my God! Jen!”
“Yeah,” Jensen said quietly, standing up. He held out his hand, asking Y/N to stand. With a smile, Y/N took his hand and stood. Jensen smoothly guided Y/N into his arms. Her eyes were soft when she looked at him, his arms wrapping around his waist.
It played out stranger than it seemed But what went down came true Like an all day dream
The two started to slow dance in the small space next to their table, Jensen softly singing the lyrics to his song in Y/N’s ear. Y/N couldn’t stop the smile from playing on her face. Jensen held her closer, his heart fluttering as he heard her voice in his ear singing the lyrics as well.
I don’t want to be the one to say it’s wrong When the heavens open and a new day comes along I know I would rather be together alone In a big top circle and a world we can call our own It’s all our own
Jensen pulled back a little, looking into Y/N’s eyes as they sang the next part together. His fingers gently brushed his fingers into her hair, curling it behind her ear. Y/N rested her forehead against his, her heart so full of love for this man.
In a world we can call our own You’ll find shelter darlin’ Where I’ll always promise to Never let it be
“I love you,” Y/N whispered to Jensen, pressing her lips to his as the song ended. Jensen pulled back and looked at Y/N with so much emotion.
“I can’t imagine my life without you, Y/N,” Jensen said, slowly bringing them to a stop. “The day I saw you in the coffee shop was the best day of my life. The next best day was Thanksgiving when they told me you were alive. You can top both by answering this one question.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet box before dropping to one knee. Y/N’s eyes widened dramatically, her mouth opening in surprise.
“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N… Will you marry me?” he asked, opening the velvet box to display a beautiful solitaire ring set in a platinum band with two sapphires on each side of it. Y/N nodded, her eyes filling with tears.
“Yes. Of course, I will marry you,” she whispered. Jensen smiled brightly, standing, and crashed his mouth to hers in a passionate kiss, Y/N’s hands on his cheeks. When they separated, Jensen slipped the ring on her finger while both laughing.
“God, I love you,” Jensen said, kissing Y/N again. Cheers were heard behind them, causing them to separate. Y/N watched as Jared walked up behind Jensen and dropped a hand on his shoulder. Y/N’s eyes lit up and she laughed. Holly walked up and cheered, giving Y/N a hug as well.
Soon, the small area was full of their friends and family. Waiters from the restaurant carried out trays of wine and champagne for the guests, and soon the celebration was underway for the group. Y/N grabbed Jensen’s hand and pulled him outside.
“You okay?” Jensen asked concerned. Y/N just nodded and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Jensen wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. By the time they separated, they were both panting.
“You are the best thing that ever happened to me,” Y/N breathed. “Thank God I moved to Texas.”
Title – Something to be Thankful For Pairings – Jensen/Reader Word Count – 1,705 Warnings – RATED R FOR: Violence in the form of a mass bombing/shooting, injuries both explained and detailed, cursing SPNMixedBingo Square filled – Thanksgiving
Jensen Ackles’ life changes when he walks into his favorite coffee shop and meets Y/N, a Florida girl making a new start in Austin, Texas, as a Sheriff’s Deputy with the help of her sister. The two hit it off and quickly become an item that even the tabloids can’t tear apart. Jensen is excited to show his girl off at Thanksgiving dinner with his family, but she has to work the parade that morning first. What starts out as a normal event filled with balloons, clowns, and cheery faces soon turns deadly as one of the floats explodes and gunfire fills the air. Soon, Y/N is in a fight for her life as she and the rest of the deputies fight back against whoever it is trying to take over Downtown Austin.
Is Jensen doomed to watch the woman who brought love back into his life perish in a tragic mass attack, or will he have Something to be Thankful For after all?
Chapter 7
Jensen walked into the hospital room slowly; eyes wide and scared as he looked toward the bed. The head of it was lifted a bit more than it had been the last time he was in there, and Y/N was propped up with extra pillows. The nurse that left the room as they walked up had told them a new IV bag, another dose of antibiotics, and pain medication was administered, but Y/N was awake.
Right then, she had her eyes closed as she rested against the pillow behind her head, her hair a halo against the white sheets. As if sensing someone was in the room with her, Y/N slowly opened her eyes with a whimper. From where he was standing, he could see that Y/N was looking around the room without moving her head. When she noticed Jensen, Y/N’s breath caught as her eyes filled once again. The weight in Jensen’s chest lifted slightly seeing her eyes open.
“Hey, baby…” Jensen muttered as he came further into the room.
“Jen,” Y/N breathed, watching as he came closer to her. For what felt like the thousandth time that day, Y/N started to cry as she lifted her hand toward the man she loved. Jensen took it in both of his as he sat in the chair next to her bed. He kissed her fingertips, and then pressed her hand against his cheek. Her skin was cold against his warm skin, but it was still the best feeling he had in the last 12 hours.
“I am so thankful you are okay,” Jensen choked out, his own eyes shining with unshed tears. Y/N simply stared at him, watching him carefully through a haze of pain and drugs. Jensen smiled at her softly before his expression melted into one of sorrow and fear. A wave of guilt crashed over Y/N, causing her eyes to slide shut. She felt a sob escape her, causing her face to scrunch up painfully as tiny stabs of pain danced along her ribs.
“I’m sorry, Jen,” Y/N choked brokenly. Jensen shook his head. “God, I’m so sorry.”
“No,” he whispered back, his own voice cracking. “No, Y/N. Don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I promise. It’s just…Y/N…” Y/N slowly opened her eyes, tears streaming down her guilt-stricken face. She watched as Jensen stood and fiddled with the side railing of the bed until he figured out how to get the thing to lower. Carefully, he sat down on the mattress next to Y/N, whispering his apologies every time she winced. He leaned over to get as close as he could dare to, bringing their faces inches apart, his warm hands cradling her face.
“I thought I lost you today, Y/N,” he whispered. “I thought I lost you without ever telling you just how much I love you. I won’t let another moment go by without saying it again.”
Y/N’s breath catches at the word love, causing her eyes to widen slightly. She blinked a few times, forcing more tears to rush down her face. Jensen brushed them away with his thumbs, pressing a kiss to her forehead before continuing.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it, and I’m sorry I’m saying it like this. I know I should have made the moment more romantic and not just after a tragedy, but I almost lost you today,” Jensen said. He paused and looked at you in silence for a long moment, a tear breaking free and running down his cheek unchecked. “I almost lost you today,” he whispered, his breath catching. Y/N lifted a hand to grab a hold of his wrist gently, a small smile playing on her lips.
“I love you too,” Y/N breathed, her own tears spilling. “Before everything happened this morning, I was thinking about how I should tell you. I just didn’t think you felt the same.”
Jensen’s eyes lit up at her words and he delicately pressed his lips to hers, kissing the woman he loves and almost lost. When they separated, they simply stayed close together to share the same air. Y/N sniffled slightly, blinking a few more tears free that Jensen all too eagerly brushed away.
“I’m sorry, Jen,” Y/N whispered again, only to have Jensen hush her gently. He pressed his lips to her forehead.
“I love you so much,” Jensen whispered back, slowly settling himself back into a seated position on the bed. Y/N looked up at him, interlacing her fingers with his. They stared at each other in silence for a long time before Y/N found the strength to speak again.
“I love you, Jen… and I feel like I should warn you. What happened today… what I saw…” she said brokenly.
“No matter what happens, I will help you any way I can,” Jensen said quietly.
“It could get ugly. I’m going to be messed up for a while. I won’t blame you if you want to cut and run now,” she said, dropping her eyes. Jensen leaned down to kiss Y/N once more.
“I love you, and I will help you any way I can. Now get some rest. When they release you, you are going to stay with me.”
“I’m so sorry, Jen,” Y/N whispered again. Jensen shook his head.
“Hey, no. No more of that. None of this was your fault,” he said. “Just get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Ten days later, Y/N sat in the wheelchair with her favorite blanket wrapped around her, dressed in the most comfortable pajama pants and a zip-up hoodie she stole from Jensen. She shifted gingerly in the chair, making sure she was as comfortable as she could get before Jared walked back into the room to push her out of the hospital.
“Okay, I think we have everything packed up. Are you sure you don’t want to take the slipper socks? You never know when you’re going to need them,” Holly asked, holding up the ugly pair of red socks with white rubber tread. Y/N gave her sister a dry look.
“No,” Y/N said flatly. Holly nodded and dropped the socks back on the bed with a wry smirk, before zipping up the overnight bag of things that ended up making their way to Y/N’s hospital room. Clothes, blankets, toiletries, and a few electronics like her new phone and charger, and iPad all were packed up.
“Do you have any plans while you are at Jensen’s?” Holly asked with forced nonchalance. Y/N looked down at her hands, picking at her nails.
“They’re on hiatus for the holidays, so I’m just going to relax and enjoy my time with him between my physical therapy appointments,” she mumbled. “Continue with therapy.”
“Danny wasn’t your fault, Y/N/N,” Holly said sympathetically, walking around to face her with the overnight bag.
“Yeah,” she murmured. Y/N looked at her sister with a sad smile, trying to take the bag from her. Holly held it away from her.
“No,” Holly said firmly. “Your ribs aren’t healed yet, and the doctor said you can’t lift anything for three more weeks.”
“I’m not an invalid,” Y/N huffed. Holly shook her head with a sigh.
“No, honey, you’re not. You’re injured. There is a difference,” Holly said, kneeling down to see Y/N face to face. “This isn’t like the school shooting where you were able to walk away with a few bumps and bruises. We almost lost you. I watched you almost get blown up live on television. So if nothing else, humor me and let us take care of you, yeah?”
Y/N watched her sister for a long moment, before looking away with a nod. Holly stood up, slung the overnight bag over one shoulder, and crossed her arms over her chest. Y/N sighed and snuggled down in the blanket around her as Jared walked in.
“Okay, you two. Your paperwork is finished. Jensen is waiting downstairs with Cliff, making sure we can make a clean getaway. Ready to head out?” he asked. Y/N nodded.
“Yeah,” she replied quietly. Holly and Jared shared a concerned glance, but let it go. It was a quiet walk to the front of the hospital with Jared pushing the wheelchair and Holly carrying Y/N’s items. When they got there, Y/N saw Jensen talking with her doctor.
“…and I’m serious about the extra therapy. We’ve got some good doctors here that would be able to help,” she heard the doctor say. Jensen nodded, taking the pamphlets from him before shaking his hand.
“Yes, sir. We’ll be going,” he said. Jensen turned to face Y/N, his entire expression lighting up when he set eyes on her. “Hey, baby.”
“I’m already looking at going to therapy for the attack,” Y/N said, feeling insulted that they were talking behind her back. Jensen shook his head.
“It isn’t for you. It’s for me,” he explained. Y/N mouth opened in surprise.
“Oh,” Y/N muttered in surprise as Jensen knelt next to Y/N. “Are you okay?” she asked him quietly, the concern in her voice evident. Jensen’s smile softened and he took her hand in his, kissing her knuckles.
“I’m fine. I was getting information about a therapy group for loved ones of law enforcement officers. I know we have a rough road ahead of us, and I don’t know the first thing about how to help you. So, when I asked for advice, Dr. Marx suggested this as a starting place I could go to gain some insight from others who are in the same place I am,” he explained. Y/N closed her eyes and felt ashamed of herself. She dropped her head, hiding behind her hair.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have assumed anything.” Jensen brushed her hair out of the way and carefully lifted her face so he could look into her eyes with a gentle smile. He leaned over and kissed Y/N on the forehead.
“Sweetheart. It’s okay. I told you, I’m here. I know it’s going to be tough” Jensen said. “I just know we’re tougher.” Y/N looked at him lovingly.
“I love you,” she said. Jensen smiled.
“I love you, too,” he replied. “Now, let’s get you home.”
Dean comes out of the bathroom as you’re strapping on your sandals, but it isn’t until he walks by you that you see what he’s wearing. Holding the clasp between your fingers, you sit up a little, looking at him from head to toe.
“Why aren’t you wearing shorts?” He turns a bit as he grabs his wallet and phone from the table.
“Oh, honey, I don’t do shorts.”
“You’re going to roast in that.” you nod towards his jeans and boots, eyes wide as you know it’s already over seventy five degrees out at eight in the morning. “Do you go swimming in jeans too then?” He just chuckles a bit before leaning against the frame separating the two rooms.
“We aren’t going swimming. We’re going to breakfast.”
“You’re crazy.” you add before going to finish hooking your sandals to your feet. Dean can’t help but take that time to look you over, enjoying your exposed legs before you stand from the bed.
This job ended up being a gift for Dean, honestly. Cause in the end of it all, he was paid to be with women. To have that closeness and even sexual relations with almost all of them but then walk away when it was all over without the dreaded breakup or heartache of being left. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t attracted to all the women he’s worked for and to not check them out would just be a sin of its own. They were allowed to look, touch, take advantage of him, so he’d be stupid to not at least look at them when he could.
Breakfast was held in the same large room as the cocktail party the night before, but now tables and chairs were set up all around, most of them full already as the rest of the family had surely beaten the two of you down there.
Dean gently rests his hand on your lower back and escorts you through the large room. As you got further in and closer to the amazing view, Jackie had spotted you both and called out to you. It was unfortunate that she was sitting with your mom, Tanya, Hannah and Josh, but at least you had her and your dad not to mention Dean to help keep you sane. You knew it would be nearly impossible to avoid these people the whole week, so you just had to toughen up a bit.
The eight of you filled the table to its max capacity, but at least there was still breathing room between each of you for the tables were fairly large.
“You two sleep well?” Your dad asks after the quiet morning greetings and as soon as you both took a seat and got comfortable.
“Yeah.” you nod, glancing towards your boyfriend for the week, a matching smile on both your faces. You caught a glimpse of Jackie right before you met Dean’s gaze and you could just feel her heart eyes staring at the two of you.
“Okay. I know you both just got down here, but I have to ask…” Looking over to your favorite cousin, you can just see the anticipation pouring from her. Clearly she’s been holding something in for a bit too long. “How did you two meet?” Your smile grew at her excitement and you’re sure your cheeks grew a shade or two darker. “I was going to ask last night, but never got the chance.”
“Well…um…I…” you were all ready to lay out the story you came up with but before you could say another word, Dean had cut in unexpectedly.
“At her book store, actually.” You tried to hold back your confusion as you didn’t want to tip anyone off that this was all fake, but you were struggling since you know the story that you came up with had nothing to do with your store.
Dean took that moment to look at you and take your hand, holding it tight on the table top so that everyone could see the intimate gesture. He smiles softly, giving you a look that asks you to trust him. So you do. How you could tell that’s what he was putting off still baffles you, but you took a light breath and let him take over anyway.
“I uh…I went in looking for a book for my moms birthday. The thing is, I went to at least twenty other stores in that week and I kept coming up empty and I was honestly tired of looking for this damn book.” he chuckles a bit, glancing in your direction briefly before turning back to the full table. “So, I just walked up to the counter and saw her standing back there going through some boxes and I asked her for her help. Told her the title, showed her a picture of the cover and she looked it up in her system for me.”
“Did she have it?” Your mom asked with a patronizing tone.
“Unfortunately, no. But…” he paused for a moment to look at you, squeezing your hand as he did in hopes that it’d keep your mind away from your mom’s comment. “…she was able to special order it for me. Took half the time to get to her as it would have if I would have ordered it. So the day before my mom’s birthday she called me up to let me know it had arrived. She saved my ass.” There was a faint ‘aww’ from Jackie, and you were trying not to blush after hearing it.
“After that…I kept coming back. I even bought a few books just so I wouldn’t walk out empty handed and seem like a stalker. But…eventually, I got up the courage to ask her out.”
“How’d you do it?” Hannah’s voice almost took away the magic of the moment, but as Dean ran his thumb over your knuckles, he pulled you back from the interruption.
“I went in and walked up to the counter, just like the first time and she asked if I needed help finding another book. I told her “not today”, and that I was just wondering what time she got off.” You were stupidly mesmerized with this fake story and part of you wished it was real. But you knew that would never happen. “And, she’s been my gorgeous girl ever since.” Giving your hand another squeeze, Dean then lifted it from the table and brought it up to his lips, placing a sweet lingering kiss to the back of your hand.
“Aww. Ugh…I’m tearing up.” As Jackie waves her hand in front of her face you try desperately not to blush too much or stare too hard at the man sitting next to you.
To no surprise to you, your aunt changes the subject; but for once in your life you don’t care. You’re focusing on Dean as he glances around the table and then looks back to you, that same killer grin on his face, and it just blows your mind that this man isn’t taken by some lucky, tight skirted bombshell. He has the looks, the charm, he definitely has the body. It almost baffles you that he’s still single and wasting his time with desperate women like you.
“Oh! Which reminds me!” Your mom’s voice sliced you out of your daze. You found yourself getting lost in Dean’s eyes, so maybe it was a good thing that your mom interrupted before he thought you were having a stroke or something. “I couldn’t find you last night before I went upstairs, but we’re all going snorkeling later. So after breakfast, go get in your swimsuits and meet us on the beach.” Before you could try and get out of it, because you honestly rather lounge in your room, you heard Dean hum softly.
“Sounds fun.” he added, smiling at your mom before giving you a more sincere one.
He was going to get you through this. You just had to remember that.
“So does this mean I actually get to see you in shorts!?” you yell out, hoping he can hear you through the bathroom door.
“Does it really bother you that much that I wear jeans?” The lack of barrier between his voice and you made you flinch.
“No! It doesn’t bother me. It just…makes me curious on how you can survive in jeans in ninety degree…” your voice is stolen from you as he walks around the bed and comes into view. He quickly removes his shirt and tosses it on the dresser and this time you get a better look at him, but you add that to his exposed, muscular legs…it makes you wonder if this man was designed in a lab. “…weather.” you’re too busy ogling to notice the smirk on his face, but he just stands there for a moment and lets you enjoy it. Hell, he takes a minute to enjoy it himself.
“You okay?” he loves the look of realization on your face before you push yourself to your feet.
“Uh…yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” you nervously shuffle around him, pushing your hair behind your ears as you head for the bathroom to slide your suit on for the afternoon.
When he hears the door shut behind you, he reaches for the water bottle that he brought up from downstairs and drinks it down pretty quickly. Then, when you emerge from the bathroom, the tables turn. Now it’s his turn to ogle.
You stepped out wearing one of those light weight black robes made for going over your swimsuit, which is already sexy considering the thin material and the fact that it’s teasing him with little glimpses of exposed skin underneath. But the suit itself has him captivated. The black and turquoise two piece was bright and fitting for a tropical getaway and with a lace up top that not only hugs your body but also your chest perfectly, he was struggling to keep his mouth closed. It’s almost like you’ve stepped out of a magazine.
As you slide on your sandals he forces himself to be a little less obvious, afraid of how you’ll react to him staring. The last thing he wants to do is upset you, especially since he’s the one that’s supposed to be making this week easier on you.
“You ready?” he asks once he sees your shoes are secure.
“I guess so.” you grumble a bit, clearly not too excited about this.
“It’ll be fine.” he tells you in confidence, and it’s clear in the look you give him that you’re still struggling to trust him completely. “Just…try and focus on me. Not them.” his hand meets your side and he looks at you for a moment before trying to help you towards the door. “Come on.”
The material that the pareo was made out of had him so engrossed, he just couldn’t seem to pull his hand away. Of course, it was that and the fact that he was enjoying holding you close.
The thing is, with all the women he’s worked for in the past, they all seemed to beg for his constant attention and always wanted his hands on them. With you, he was almost afraid to touch you. You were dealing with this whole emotional situation and he was afraid of mauling you as it could send you into a panic attack or something. So, this was just his way of testing the waters a bit.
Thankfully, and to his surprise, you didn’t seem bothered by the closeness. Even in the elevator he kept his hand along your waist and if anything, you ended up moving a little closer to him. It was nice. You even seemed to be less tense while you both descended. Probably the calmest you’ve been since he’s met you.
Then as you both walked along the beach, the second your family came into view he could feel your back tense up again. Hoping it helped, he kept close, keeping you in his embrace as you joined the group by the water.
“Look at you two!” Jackie gushes out, making you smile a bit as you get closer. “Love this suit! Where’d you get it?”
“I honestly can’t remember.” you laugh, glancing down at yourself and trying not to feel subconscious.
“Well, when you do remember, tell me. I want it.”
“You got it.” Jackie squeezes in a quick hug just as your dad is handing out the goggles and snorkels to everyone. He hands one to your mom and then to Hannah, Josh and Tanya before moving over to the three of you.
As everyone got ready to get in the water, you walked over to the lounge chairs closest to you so you could slip off your shoes and pareo. With your back to everyone though, you were totally oblivious to Dean’s eye on you.
The way the robe slipped down your back, slowly exposing you to him, had his heart racing. This is when he’s grateful for the fact that he’s playing your boyfriend for the week, because otherwise he’d probably come off as creepy.
He tries to pull himself together and in doing so, he glances towards your family who are huddled a few feet away in their own little circle. Yet, he catches something that makes his lips tug at the corners a bit.
As you tossed your robe down on the chair you felt a large hand slide along your waist and up your back, sending chills throughout your body. You turn just in time to see Dean smile down at you.
“You ready?”
“Yeah.” you smile back, completely unaware of the eyes on you in the distance. So when Dean dips down and lightly brushes his lips to yours, you’re caught off guard.
“Somebody regrets letting you go.” he whispers softly against your lips, only pulling back a little after he delivers his line.
“What?”
“You have an audience of one leering at you.” Curiousness grows in your eyes and just as you go to turn your head, his hand comes up to your cheek and stops you. “Don’t look. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Just look at me.” The battle in your head was hard to silence, but you did as he told you.
“How long has he been staring?”
“Since you walked over here and started taking that off.” he nods towards the thin cloth on the chair.
“What do I do?”
“Just stick with me and try not to look at him too much. Just remember what he did to you and completely ignore him. Okay?” You nod softly, not wanting to look too suspicious from Josh’s point of view. “Good.” his smile grows a bit before he captures another kiss. Now you know that the first one was for show. At first you weren’t sure, but the feeling of his lips on yours was something you knew you could get used to. You kind of hoped that Josh wouldn’t stop looking at you just so you could have an excuse to kiss Dean.
“Let’s go.” he mutters softly and gives you another peck before carefully ushering you towards the water. Dean briefly glances over and sees that Josh is trying not to look at you, but is failing miserably and he just knows that he’s going to have fun with this.
It turns out that it wasn’t so hard to ignore Josh after all. At first you struggled a little, but once you and Dean started diving a little further into the water, between him and all the ocean life, you were better off.
At one point a large sea turtle had swam right underneath the two of you and as it passed, Dean grabbed you by the waist and pulled you close. Your back molded to his chest as he rolled you both to face the direction the animal was going so you could watch it swim on.
Both of your legs lightly kicked back and forth to keep you in your spot and you tried to hold your breath for as long as you could so that you could watch the turtle continue on. It was such a surreal and beautiful sight and you just wished you could stay underwater forever.
A light tap to your shoulder had you looking back and Dean pointed up to the surface, letting you know that he was in need of air probably as much as you were. So you gave in. You nod and then push yourself away from him a bit to make your way upwards and he follows right behind.
He breaks the surface seconds after you and pulls his mouthpiece out, a grin forming on his face as he looks at you.
“That was cool!”
“It was!” you giggled a little as you looked below, trying to see if the turtle had come back around or not.
“I don’t know how long we’ve been out here.” You hear him say, making you look up and follow his gaze back towards the shore where your family had gotten out and were now lounging in the sun.
“A while.” you laugh. “But that’s okay. I rather be out here than with them anyway.” His smile is genuine and it spreads to you.
“You’re doing good at ignoring him.” Your heart leaps a bit at the comment and you barely give a glance over your shoulder.
“Yeah, well…it’s easy to do when you’re having fun.” you get lost in his smile. His eyes. Then he makes it worse by shooting his tongue out across his lips, but again, you welcome the distraction.
“One more dive and then we head back?” You take his offer and think for a moment. For how much you don’t want to go back to shore, you were getting a little hungry, and seeing how much the sun had shifted it had to have been late afternoon by now.
You could hear the hustle and bustle of the many bodies that took up the large conference room before you even made it to the door. So many people talking and laughing, and you knew that your fake smile and laugh would be joining them soon.
With a squeeze of his arm, Dean had you looking up at him. He shot you a wink and started pulling you into the room without you saying if you were ready or not. He knew you weren’t, and he knew you may never be, so he was jumping into the shark tank head first while pulling you along with him.
A lot of the people you could see right off the bat were just distant aunts, uncles and cousins. People you really didn’t talk to, even at these things. They kept to their own circle while you tried to avoid yours. Out of everyone in that room there were only a few that you knew you would see this week, because it was the same few that you see every time.
Of course, there was your mom. The queen of it all and the one you wished you could hide from the most. There was your step dad that you adored. He definitely related to you more than anyone else there and you actually looked forward to seeing him every time these things came around.
Then there was your cousin, Jackie. She was your best friend and the one you could turn to about anything, includingfamily. She never ratted you out and you two were like your own little circle within a circle.
But then that brought you to your aunt Tanya and her daughter Hannah. They were set on a peg just below your mom. They were rich bitches and they always gloated. It was sickening. You honestly didn’t know which was worse sometimes, your mom or those two. If you could just avoid all three, that’d be great.
The further the two of you moved into the room, the more you felt your heart rate rise. The quartz floors sparkled as you stepped across it and the noise from the rest of the family was making you feel so small because you already knew how they saw you. Then you imagined your mom walking up to the two of you, and that just made everything crumble.
“Dean, wait.” you locked your arm in place, bringing him to a stop.
“What?” he asks as you just stand there, your eyes scanning the full room. He can see the panic in your face, your cheeks flushing.
“I can’t do this.” you finally whisper, your body turning to face him as your eyes struggle to look away from the reunion of people.
“Y/N…”
“I can’t!” you quietly cry out so that no one else notices that you’re there yet. “They’ll see right through this. My mom will see right through this and it’ll be a disaster. They are so judgmental and I just…I can’t…” Before you can even register what’s going on, Dean has pulled you a little closer and attached his lips to yours. Then his free hand meets the side of your face before he pulls away and you can do nothing but just stare at him.
“Let them judge.” A shaky breath finally leaves you and yet you can still feel his lips on yours. Like an aftershock that just won’t quit. “I need you to trust me, Y/N. Because if you don’t, you’re right, it won’t work.”
“Y/N!?” You hear your name being called from across the room before you can even begin to pull yourself back from that kiss let alone tell Dean that you trust him. Or at least tell him that you’re trying to.
“Y/N! Oh my God!” You turn just as your cousin Jackie runs up to you, an empty glass in her hand as she goes to swing her arms around you. “I’m so glad you’re here!” she squeezes you tight before pulling away, her arms still wrapped around you. “I thought you said you weren’t coming this time?”
“No. I said I mightnot be coming.”
“Oh. Well, I’m so glad you did because I missed you so much!” she cried as she pulled you back into a bone crushing hug. It wasn’t until she pulled away again that she even glanced in Dean’s direction, but once she saw him, she was awestruck.
“And who is this?” she breathes as she finally lets you go and you can’t help but chuckle at her reaction. Her eyes are locked on Dean like he’s the only one in the room and she’s practically drooling over him.
“Jackie, this is Dean. Dean, my cousin, Jackie.” you introduced, your hand gesturing between them while they stepped forward and Dean took her hand.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh, trust me…the pleasure’s allmine.”
“Jackie!” you scolded quietly, but you didn’t miss the grin on Dean’s face.
“Sorry.” she breathed again; probably the only breathing she was able to do at the moment, then she stepped back, curling the hand that Dean just had in his. “I uh…I need to top off my drink so…I’ll just leave you two alone.” She had to rip her eyes away from your date and when she locked gazes with you, she winked.
“So, that’s Jackie.” Dean states as you both watch your cousin walk away.
“Yeah. She’s great. The only one here other than my dad that I can trust with anything and who doesn’t stab me in the back.”
“Good to know.”
“There’s my princess.” Dean watched your smile grow before you turned away from him again, this time to greet an older gentleman. But the only thing that tipped him off that he was older was the gray in his hair, otherwise he was aging very well.
“Dad.” you seem to sigh in relief as you fall into his embrace.
“How are you, sweet pea?”
“I’m good.” you whisper to him before pulling away, and that’s when the man locked eyes on Dean.
You had told Dean that your step dad was in the army and with his own dad having a similar background, he made sure to stand straight and make eye contact when he looked at him.
“You didn’t tell me that you’ve been seeing someone, Y/N.”
“I know. I’m sorry, dad, it’s just been…”
“Nice to meet you sir.” Dean greets as you struggle to finish your sentence. He leans forward and takes your dad’s hand, giving it a nice firm shake.
“Good to meet you…”
“Dean.”
“Dean.” your dad repeats softly, letting his eyes rake over your date. “Military man?”
“No, sir. But my dad was.”
“Oh yeah? Where was he?”
“Marine Corps. Corporal.”
“Nice.” You smile when you see that your dad’s impressed. Not that you thought he wouldn’t be, but he also wasn’t the one to please here. At least, not the only one. “So, how long have you two been together?”
“Just about two months now.” you answer, giving Dean a bit of a break.
“Not too long then.” he says, glancing at you before locking eyes with Dean again. “Very bold of you to show up to a reunion where you’re going to meet her entire family.”
“Yeah, well…” Dean slid his arm around your waist and smiled down at you. “I know she didn’t want to come alone and I just want to make sure she’s happy.” Your dad’s smile grew as he looked between the two of you.
“I’m liking you already.”
“There she is!” The tender moment is interrupted by a familiar high voice, and though you know who it is, you wait until your eyes confirm it.
“Oh god…” you breathe, turning into Dean a bit before your mom’s hands are on your cheeks and she’s placing rough kisses all over your face.
“Oh my girl!” her hands flatten against your cheeks, practically squishing your face. “Hmm.” and here it comes…
The way she tilts her head and looks you over, you know that she’s found something that she can pick fun at. You’re just waiting to hear it.
As her right hand slides down under your chin, she pats your jaw a few times before that infamous disappointed look in her eyes makes its appearance.
“Oh, honey. It looks like you’ve gained a little weight.” You try to hold in your irritation when she lets go of you, but that’s when she sees Dean. This is going to be terrible, is all that you had going through your head. You just wanted to grip onto Dean’s hand and run for the exit.
“Oh…” her eyes rake over your date and though this entire relationship is fake, you still feel this twist in your gut that makes you want to throw up. You couldn’t believe it. Your own mother was checking out your boyfriend. Not that it surprises you, but it still bothers you nonetheless. “And who are you?”
“Mom…” Turning into Dean’s left side and wrapping your arms around him, he follows your lead and holds you close, his hand visible on your waist. “This is my boyfriend. Dean.” It shouldn’t have surprised you, but it still hit deep when she started to laugh.
“You…no. There is no way that you are dating my daughter.” Dean can feel your hand shaking against his side and to calm you, he reaches his right hand over and holds yours firm against his body, keeping his smile as he looks away from you and up to your mother.
“Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I amdating your daughter.” Her eyes slide back and forth between the two of you for a moment before she has to add one more stab.
“Was it on a dare or something?”
“Okay. Honey, why don’t we leave these two alone, let them get some food, alright?”
“Okay.” your mom giggles as your dad pulls her away, but she plants her feet at one point to shoot out another bullet. “By the way…Dean. When this doesn’t work out, you know, the two of you…I want you to know that it was reallynice to meet you.” As she sends a wink in your direction, not only is your patience gone, but so is your dad’s.
“Let’s go!” Your dad pushes, kind of giving her a shove in the other direction. After she’s a few steps away, your dad takes a hold of your arm to get your attention.
“Don’t let her get to you.”
“I try.” He pulls on a smile and kisses your cheek before giving Dean a nod.
“I’ll see you two soon.” It didn’t register with you that you were still in Dean’s embrace. Not until his left hand slid up your back.
“Well ain’t she a gem.” When all you do is nod, Dean pulls away a bit and looks down at you. He could see you absorbing everything your mother had said and saw that it was taking you over.
“Hey.” Pulling on your waist, he turns you so that you’re facing only him now and he presses two of his fingers under your chin to get you to look up at him. “You look beautiful.” But his attempt was shot down. You scoffed and rolled your eyes a bit as you tried to look behind you.
“I’m serious.” he pushes, making you look back at him. “You should listen to your dad. Shedoesn’t know what she’s talking about.” You force your eyes to drop from his again, not caring that he wanted you to look at him. You felt stupid and naïve. How could you ever think you could walk into one of these and actually meet the standards of everyone else.
“Why don’t we go grab a drink, huh?” You lift your head a bit, but not enough that it satisfies him. He just knows he’s going to have to work even harder to keep you on his level throughout this week.
“Come on.”
There were a few greetings while Dean led you through the crowd, and like always, you plastered on a smile and squeezed in a few words, but you were dying for that drink. So you made it as short and sweet as you possibly could and kept moving.
Dean was quick to put in your order as you approached the long bar and it still surprised you on how fast he learned your drink.
“So, what happened to your dad?” he asks after the bartender sets your drinks in front of you.
You look away for a minute, spotting your dad across the room and you become slightly confused on what Dean means.
“Nothing?” When Dean notices you glancing at your step dad, he can’t help but chuckle a bit.
“No. I mean your actualdad.”
“Oh.” Taking the small black stir stick, you let it roam around your glass for a second before getting up the energy to answer. “He uh…he died. When I was two.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Died doing what he loved from what I hear.” you laugh a bit before taking a sip of your drink. “I honestly don’t even remember him. I have pictures and that’s it, really.” Cradling his beer, Dean gave you a sweet smile before looking around the room. There wasn’t an abundance of people, but it was a pretty full room considering.
“So. We have breakfast tomorrow morning and a big farewell dinner at the end of the week…any other scheduled occasions I should know about?” You smile into your drink, enjoying the strength of the alcohol before bringing it to rest on the bar’s counter.
“Uh…not really. It’s mostly a go about your own business type of thing. You get to go around and do what you want, with who you want and just let the gossip circle around on its own.”
“So, I’m guessing before now, you’ve just been…”
“Stuck with my mom.” you giggle as you take another drink. “Yeah. That and my aunt Tanya and her daughter.”
“I’m guessing they’re just as bad as your mom?”
“Sometimes worse.” you admit quickly. “Tanya…she just…” you scoff lightly as you struggle to find the right words to describe your aunt. “I swear she thinks she’s the queen of this whole room. Her and my mom are the ones who usually set this up and her daughter is just as big headed as her.”
“Are you sure you weren’t adopted? Or…maybe switched at birth or something?” he jokes, but there still seems to be a hint of seriousness in there.
“You seriously have no idea how many times I’ve asked myself that same question.”
“Look who decided to show up!” The familiar voice had you tensing up again, and Dean was definitely beginning to understand why you were so tense on the days leading up to this.
He sees a woman walk up behind you, blonde hair, long and slightly curled with blue eyes and an expensive cocktail dress hugging her body down to her thighs. She had money, there was no doubt about that.
“Hannah.” you greeted with a forced smile. “Looking beautiful as ever.”
“Yeah.” she giggles. One that actually makes Dean cringe a bit on the inside. “And look at you. Dressed up in…” she pauses for a moment and takes a step back, looking you up and down. “…you know…I think I saw that in the Walmart catalog when I was at the dentist office the other day.” she laughs and you fight back the urge to punch her in the face. “It’s cute.” You know she’s lying. Hell, the bartender knows she’s lying.
You can feel Dean step up behind you, pressing himself against your back as his free hand finds your waist and you know he’s trying to give you comfort. Reminding you that he’s right there and that you need to use him to block out the verbal abuse.
“Right.” you breathe, taking in a good breath as you tilt your head up. “Hannah, this is my boyfriend, Dean.” Her eyes do the same thing your moms did. There’s a shock, but then they’re instantly eating him up and you can practically see her brain working on ways to steal him from you.
“Wow. Well, aren’t you just a big piece of eye candy.”
“Here you go, pumpkin.” Dean’s eyes avert from your cousins as a man walks up behind her, handing her a drink.
“Thanks.” she whispers to him before turning back to you and Dean, a cocky smile on her face as she looks from Dean to you. “You remember Josh, right Y/N?” You meet Josh’s gaze for a moment before turning a bit in Dean’s body.
“Hey, Y/N.” Josh greets with an almost too stiff expression.
“Hey.” you greet back, letting Dean’s body stop you from running for the door.
“Josh used to be Y/N’s boyfriend way back when.” Hannah spits out with a large grin as she locks eyes with Dean. “Don’t worry. You’ll come to your senses too. Just give it time.”
Not taking another word, you set your glass down on the bar and slip out of Dean’s embrace. He looks over his shoulder as he watches you moving quickly through the crowd, heading for the wall of large floor to ceiling windows and glass doors.
“Hmm. Typical.” Dean hears your cousin scoff out and he sends her a bit of a glare before following your same path.
He hated to admit that you were right. He didn’t take you as seriously as he should have when you talked about your family, but he was here now and to be honest, he was grateful he was. No one deserved to be treated this way. He honestly wasn’t sure why you even made the trip every time it came up. But of course your mom would probably just come and hunt you down if you didn’t show. It was clear that everyone saw you in the same light. Everyone but your step dad and your cousin Jackie. Again, just like you said.
As he reached the doors and stepped out into the warm evening air, it didn’t take him long to look down the way and see you leaning against the metal railing. He weaved through a few rows of tables before coming up alongside you.
“You sure you’re not regretting coming with me?” He grinned a bit before leaning on the rail next to you.
“Meh. But it’d be kind of fucked up to leave you right now.” You huffed out a little laugh, but still hadn’t looked in his direction.
“I wouldn’t blame you though.”
It remained silent for a few minutes after that. Both of you just looked out to the ocean, listening to the waves rolling in and creeping up onto the shore. A light breeze brought you some comfort, but it didn’t take away the knowledge of everyone inside the building behind you.
“I thought you only had one long relationship.” Dean finally breaks the silence, feeling guilty for bringing up such a sensitive topic but was too curious to wipe it away.
“I did.” you reply fairly quickly, your voice as strained as he expected it to be. “It was with Josh.” you admit before going quiet for a few more beats. In that time, Dean felt the crushing pain just rolling off you.
“It was so weird. We were in high school so…I wasn’t sure if it would last or not. But I was happy, and there was always this little sliver of hope that maybe this could be it. Maybe after all those years of…ugh.” you stop to sniffle and wipe away some stray tears.
“I thought I had finally caught my break. But…at one of our family BBQ’s, I caught Hannah talking to him, and she was giggling and…touching him. It was clear she was flirting with him. But he seemed to always brush her off, you know? I thought that he was just being polite since she was family and all that.” He saw your jaw lock up a bit and another tear slide down the side of your face, but this one you just let go.
“But then the following year…I had lost him in the crowd somewhere. Was trying to find him to see if he wanted to help me get the dessert out and set it up.” your head dropped a bit as you and you sniffled a few more times. “I finally found him after about ten minutes. He was up in my room…with her.” Dean’s eyes fell shut as he could practically picture what you walked in on.
“That was one of the last times we had a BBQ at our house and my mom started doing these destination things. But, every year….there they are.”
“I’m so sorry.” Dean finally says, not sure what else he can say to that.
“They always win. I really don’t know why I keep trying sometimes. I mean…when I emailed you I was just so irritated about all the texts I was getting. I told my mom that I might not be able to make it because of work, and she had spread word so fast. My phone was blowing up with texts and emails…and I couldn’t take it. I was hoping that if I could bring someone, that maybe…just maybe they would look at me and for once not have anything to say but congratulations.” Dean’s jaw ticked as he felt the frustration seep into him.
“I’m such a fucking idiot to think that could be a thing.”
“No, you’re not.” he could hear you scoff. “You’re not. It’s not right how they treat you and it’s only normal to want that kind of acceptance from your family. You’re not an idiot, Y/N.” You could feel his hand meet your upper back and he began to lightly massage your neck. But as the two of you heard a faint, “There you are.” in the distance, his hand slid down your back. You both pulled away from the rail and looked over to see your stepdad heading your way with a soft smile on his face.
“I was just about to call it a night, but I had to say goodnight to my girl.” And just like that, Dean saw your sadness disappear and a smile spread across your face as you went in for a hug with the man. “That, and I wanted to see if you wanted to use me as your own escape decoy.”
“He knows me.” you say to Dean after a few moments of just smiling at your father.
The three of you then keep close as you make your way through the crowded room and out the other side. The halls were quiet as everyone was still chatting and drinking away in the large room.
“You two are on the third floor, right?”
“Yeah.” Your dad hit the silver button on the elevator and stood with you both until it arrived. “Thanks, dad.”
“Of course. I know that I’ve had my fair share, so I knew you had to be ready to run for the exit.” The three of you share a light laugh and that’s when the elevator doors open. “You two have a good night.”
“He really does get you.” Dean says after your dad heads down the hall and the two of you step into the elevator.
You never really considered yourself a very confident person, but you had to admit, getting a little dressed up and taking the time to pretty up your face was giving you a chance to smile at yourself.
The makeup was light, but you added a few more touches that you usually wouldn’t. You applied a little bit of foundation, just to give your face that little bit of glow, then you added a little lip gloss. Something to pop your lips a little more, some color and a little shimmer. Eyeliner and mascara were your go tos for everyday life, but they seemed to even brighten up your face more with the help of the others.
Smiling at yourself, you then reached for the earrings you had chosen for the night. Taking the back off one, you turn your head a bit and slip the hook in your ear lobe with ease. Something you don’t always get since you lack earrings on a day to day basis. Just another thing you only do for special occasions.
Preparing the second earring, you could hear large boots taking on the stairs out in the other room. You smile even more knowing that Dean was home and you couldn’t wait to see what he thought of your little get up.
“Hey! I’m just about done, I’ll be out in a sec!” you yell out to him as you slide in your second earring, this one of course giving you a little more fight than the last. But once you got it in, you grabbed the small back piece and slowly made your way out into the other room; your smile as big as ever as you turned the corner because you were overly excited to see him after such a long day.
“Hey! How was your…” your sentence and excitement were immediately cut off when you saw him. Instead of being met with his bright smile and amazing green eyes, you saw his beautiful lips in a frown, his head low and his lively eyes full of confusion and hurt.
“Hey…” Walking up to him, you place your hand along his arm as you try to get him to look up at you. “What is it? What happened?” His tongue poked out against his lips briefly before he was able to look up, and you swear that only hurt you more.
“I uh…I’m sorry, I hate to do this but, can…” he finally looks you in the eye, regret spilling from him as he shakes his head a bit. “…can we just stay in tonight?”
“Yeah.” There was no question, and never would be. Not when he looked like that. “Of course we can.” you say, calming him as you lift your hand to his chest and run your fingers over his white button up.
“I um…why don’t you go and get out of this.” you tug on the lapel of his jacket a bit. “And I um…I’ll head upstairs and order us something, okay?”
“Okay.” he agrees, his right hand coming up to your hip and holding you there for a moment as he dips down and kisses you on the cheek.
You watch him walk into the bedroom before you carefully make your way up stairs and go for the take out menus in the kitchen. Sam and Sarah went out on their own date, so it was just the two of you in the house now. You find one of your favorite places and call them up, putting in an order fairly quickly before heading back downstairs to change out of your dress and heels and into your pajamas.
Dean was in the bathroom at that time, so by the time he came out, you were just finishing up. You hung your dress back up and then went into the bathroom to remove the mask you had applied not too long ago. You were sad to see it go, but you also knew that Dean would definitely give you another chance to do it again.
When you left the bathroom for the second time that night, you smiled softly when you saw Dean sitting on the couch, the controller resting on his thigh while his hand lazily laid over it. He was looking in the direction of the TV, but you were sure by the blankness on his face that he wasn’t paying any attention to it. Moving around the back of the couch, he didn’t even look up at you, which confirmed your thoughts.
Resting your hands on his shoulders, you start to massage them a bit, finally getting his attention. He attempts to look over his shoulder at you, but you just barely get a view of the side of his face before he drops his head.
Carefully, you climb over the back of the couch, spreading your legs so that Dean’s body fits perfectly between them before continuing to work the stress out of his neck and shoulders.
“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but you know I’m here if you need to, right?” He remains silent, his head just dangling as he enjoys the feeling of your hands working their magic. But, then his right hand lifts and lands on yours, effectively stopping your movements.
At first you thought that maybe you hurt him. Maybe he got into a fight or he just got hurt on some job he was on and you hit an injured spot.
“Eddie lied to me.” You lean a bit to the left as you try to look at him, but his head is still low. Though at least he’s looking more in your direction now.
“About what?”
“About Cassies killer.” Your eyes widen a bit, but you don’t truly know how bad it is yet. “They don’t have him.”
“What!?” your shock came out more like a cry. “Why would he lie about that?” Dean shakes his head a bit, letting his hand fall from yours now.
You take that opportunity to climb over the rest of the couch and you slide into his lap, straddling him now as your hands meet the sides of his face.
“Dean…”
“Bobby said they had him. They had DNA evidence and they were so close to getting him.”
“So…what happened?” Now that he was talking again, you let your hands slip down his neck, your nails lightly scraping against his skin as you tried to continue with the comforting touches.
“They lost it.” he nods at your shock. “Someone stole it all. Everything they had…it’s gone.”
“Someone…wait, what?” As if it was like he was hearing it all for the first time, he lifts his head and looks away from you for a moment. “Someone stole it? Like…came into the station or the lab or whatever, and stole it.”
“Yeah.”
“But…how does…”
“I don’t know.” Feeling defeated yourself from this information, you let your hands fall from him, your mind racing as you stare down at his chest.
“But…why lie about it? Why not just…not tell you anything and just…”
“Cause they did get someone.” As you looked to him for answers, he took a deep breath and slid his hands along your waist. “Apparently there were two of them. They caught the guy who attacked her outside the bar. But the one who…”
“Is still out there.” you finished the sentence that neither of you wanted to complete. “Either that, or someone’s covering for the person who did.”
“Yeah.” Now that everything was out, the hurt hit you. It felt like a punch to the gut, and you didn’t even want to think about how he was feeling.
“I’m so sorry.” you whisper softly, your hands sliding back up his chest and up to the base of his neck. “I can’t even…” Dean sighs softly through his nose, his right hand sliding across your arm until he reaches your cheek.
“It’s okay.” his thumb drags along your skin, his eyes exhausted as he looks at you. “I just…I don’t even know how to feel right now.” Your hands slowly meet the sides of his face as you lean in, your lips lightly brushing against his.
“I’m sorry for canceling our date.” he whispers against your lips, his eyes closed as he grips the exposed skin on your waist.
“You didn’t cancel it. You just changed the plans.” you stole another kiss before he could apologize anymore.
“I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“You don’t have to make anything up to me.” With your forehead resting against his, you run your fingers along his neck and up into his hair where you start to lightly massage his scalp. He releases a quiet, satisfied moan and lets his head fall forward even more. You chuckle a little as you sit back a bit, letting his head rest on your chest now. He lets out a drawn out breath, clearly comfortable in his new position.
You keep running the tips of your fingers through his soft strands, even letting them travel down the back of his neck here and there. Dean didn’t seem to mind. He just continued to release quiet noises of agreement.
When his hands lightened their grip on your waist though, you let out a breathy chuckle as you tried to look at his hidden face.
“Don’t fall asleep before food gets here.” His groan this time was a little deeper. Obviously that’s exactly what was happening. “You need to eat something.” you giggle, still enjoying the feeling of his hair slipping between your fingers.
“Then you should probably stop doing that.”
“But I love your hair.” He smiles a little before lifting his head. Your hands slide back along his neck as he sits up; his sleepy, yet adorable eyes looking into yours. You think he’s going to say something, but instead he just leans in.
Dean only planned on a quick, sweet kiss, but the thing is, your lips were a drug to him. The way they moved with his just kept him wanting more. So the one turned into two, then into three. When he finally forces separation, he keeps close as he lets his fingers run along your side.
