#lbardugo

“We were not made to please princes”

WHEN WATER SANG FIRE by Leigh Bardugo

Kaz:Jesper, why are you wearing that huge bow?

Jesper:Because it’s Christmas and I’m Ghezen’s gift to the world

Kaz at some point: Nikolai Lantsov, Rat King of Ravka, I presume

The Glass Turtle ~ Part One

An Angsty Crows Christmas Fic

TW: Angst

—— Indicates change in pov

Credit to @emmaannaelisabeth for the amazing character of Jordie, Kanej’s child <3

Perhaps if Nina hadn’t given him the tiny glass turtle he wouldn’t be so freezing cold, perhaps if she hadn’t told him so many times to “be careful” he wouldn’t be crying, his cheeks and nose red from the biting wind. Perhaps if he hadn’t loved it so much, perhaps if he hadn’t dropped it, he wouldn’t be lost, perhaps he’d still be at Christmas Eve dinner with his family.

But Nina had given him a tiny glass turtle, bought in Fjerda, it looked just like his pet turtle, Dirtles Turtles. She’d told him to be careful and he was, as best he could, but in the end he’d dropped it, the green glass shattering as it hit the floor. He hadn’t told anyone, no, he was too ashamed, the tears flowed freely and his feet carried him through the door, into a world of white, where it was so easy to be lost.

——

The only sign of anything wrong are the shards of green glass that lay on the wood floor. Kaz kneels down to pick them up, pushing through the pain in his leg. The only thing missing is his son. Jesper is beside him, he gives Kaz a knowing look and they put on their coats.

——

Jordie is running, to where? He isn’t sure; he hardly knows he’s running. Auntie Ninny told me not to break it, the only thought in his mind, how could I be so stupid?

The snow crunches below his feet, the cold nipping at his ears till his lungs need a rest. He looks around, the world unrecognizable with it’s coating of white. He fights the fear away, the gnawing truth, he’s lost. Even at nine years old he knows the city well enough, but so rarely did it snow. He wants his mama.

The cold is too cold, he’s too tired, the little space between two buildings looks too welcoming, he’ll sleep and wait for his mama and papa to find him. He slips into the darkness of sleep with ease, the nothingness welcoming him against the snow.

He wakes with a start, he’s being tapped by a boy just a few years older than himself, it takes him a moment to understand what’s happening, sleep and cold clouding his mind.

“You really should get inside, you’ll freeze out here,” The boy says, he looks like Papa, very young Papa. Jordie nods, but his eyes are already closing again, and the boy is drifting into sleep.

This time he dreams of hot chocolate, of mama and papa, of dirtles tutles and Auntie Ninny, of home and his family. Something deeper, more permanent than sleep calls to Jordie, and he wants so badly to rest, maybe forever. No, he wants his mama, he wants his papa.

Now he wakes slowly, there’s more snow than before. How is there so much of it? He too is covered in snow, he brushes it off grogily.

No one is on the street, has he been left alone in this world? Is it Christmas day yet? How long had he slept? He wanders for minutes or hours as the snow begins to fall heavier, the light in the sky dimming, the cold creeps in and chills him to the bone.

The whole world is white. Not sparkling and light like before, but dark and biting, the snow blinds him. He stumbles on, no idea of where he’s going, unable to see anything, the storm rips around him. He can’t stop walking, he needs to go home.

A loud cracking noise fills the air as the ground below him gives out. He’s plunged into water, it fills his lungs. He can’t move. I must. He claws for the surface, pushing himself up, but his hands meet ice. No, no, no, I can’t be trapped.

Open your eyes, whose voice tells him? He doesn’t know, not against the cold and the screaming of his lungs for air. He looks around with stinging eyes and pulls himself to the surface. He holds the ice, too weak to pull himself from the water.

I’m going to die here, the tears stream from his eyes once again asd he screams. For help, for his parents, for the Saints and Ghezen and anyone who will listen. But the edges of his vision go dark and there is no answer.

A hand drags him from the water. Papa must’ve found me, he drifts into sleep again.

“You look just like him,” The words rouse him from sleep, but they are not from his Papa. It takes him a moment to realize the boy who spoke is the same as before.

“Who are you?” His throat is sore from the yelling, he’s oh so cold.

The dark haired boy looks at him and grins, holding out his hand, “Jordie, Jordie Rietveld.”

“We have the same name!” He forgets the cold.

“Oh really? Well, it’s a good name.”

“My Papa says he used to have a brother with our name too!”

For a moment the other boy’s smile falters, maybe he’s sad about something, Jordie thinks.

“I’m awfully cold.”

“You hold on, okay? Your Papa will be here soon, I promise.” Sleep calls to him and once again he drifts into it, welcoming the absense of snow.

——

“Ghezen, Kaz.” Jesper breathes, but Kaz is already running, his cane long forgotten.

“Jordie!” The boy doesn’t move, he’s soaked and freezing, his lips are blue and he isn’t moving. A discarded hot chocolate cup lays on in the snow beside him, whose is it?

His mind is frantic, praying, pleading, worrying for his son, “Jesper, do something.”

“Kaz, you know there’s nothing I can do.”

Kaz takes off his jacket, ripping open the buttons on his shirt as Jesper helps to get Jordie’s off as well. His cold, clammy skin against Kaz’s bare chest is more than enough to send waves crashing above. He pushes away the nausea, pulling the boy closer. He needs to keep him warm, to hell with what I feel.

Jesper places a coat around the two of them and they trudge home through the snow.

Every moment that passes he feels as though Jordie slips further away.

Kaz places Jordie on the kitchen table, cleared by Inej and Wylan, “Oh my god,” Inej covers her mouth with a hand, choking back a sob. He climbs onto the table as well, pulling his son’s body closer to his, I need to keep him warm.

He watches as Wylan brings blankets and pajamas. He watches Nina, who is as frozen as him, surely wishing she could help.

Matthias adds wood to the fire, Inej fusses over Jordie and still Kaz does not move. His boy, his only boy. He cannot lose another Jordie to the harbor.

“Mama?” The boy’s eyes flutter open and everyone whips around to see him, thank Ghezen.

Matthias appears from the kitchen and hands a bottle of whiskey to Kaz, “Now is really not the time, Matthias.”

“Not for you, Demjin,” He gestures to Jordie, “For him.” Kaz understands, but he doesn’t take the bottle.

Worry flashes on Matthias’ face, but in a moment it’s gone, he sits Jordie up only enough to have him sip it. Jordie coughs and the sound reverberates in Kaz’s mind, dredging up old memories, reopening old wounds.

——

Sleep is Jordie’s new best friend, he’s warm now but the cold haunts his fingertips, his coughing, evidence of his time spent in the cold.

“Papa?” He doesn’t move and it worries him, “Papa?”

“Yes, Jordie?”

“Please tell Auntie Ninny I’m so sorry.” Jordie is a big kid, he tries to be strong, but his voice cracks at the end and the tears flow. He loved the glass turtle with all his heart and was so sorry to know his Auntie would be sad.

“Oh Jordie, it’s okay, she isn’t mad at you.” His Papa kneels beside him, all Jordie wants is a hug.

He holds up his hand, curling it into a fist two times, he waits and Kaz does the same. Before he knows it he’s wrapped in a hug, warmer than anything he’s ever felt.

When he wakes up again, Jesper is beside him, “Hey kid, have a good adventure?” But Jordie sees worry, the same lines by his Papa’s eyes are around Uncle Jeppe’s. He leans toward him and pulls Jesper into a hug.

“Uncle Jeppe? Can we still open presents tomorrow even if I’m sick? Please? I really don’t want to miss Christmas and this year I asked Santa for a hat like Papa’s and I really want to still have Christmas.”

“We’ll still have Christmas, I promise.” Jesper reaches out his hand and Jordie shakes it.

“The deal is the deal,” With all the grown-up-ness he can muster, a short coughing fit interrupts them but when Jordie is alright again, Jesper says the same.

“The deal is the deal.”

Before he goes, Jesper reaches out his hand once again and places it on Jordie’s forehead, it feels ice cold against his skin and a worried look flashes across Jesper’s face.

Nina is the next to visit Jordie, he’s worried though because he sees tears in her eyes, is she angry? She walks over and sits on the bed next to him.

“I’m so sorry Auntie Ninny, I really did try to be careful, I promise.” He feels the tears rising again.

She shakes her head and wraps him in a hug, she smells pretty, like flowers and sugar, and waffles and Jordie hugs her tightly, now he knows she isn’t angry.

“Never run off like that again, promise?” Jordie nods, he will never run off again.

“Will you please tell my Mama it’s too hot in here?” Nina’s eyebrows knit together, why does everyone keep looking so worried?

@grishaversebigbang

GRISHAVERSE BIG BANG 2021: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Synopsis:Kaz and Inej meet as Hogwarts first years and become fast acquaintances and allies and then something more. Through school dances, detentions, quidditch matches and dark magic, they have each other’s backs.

A Kanej-focused friends-to-lovers Hogwarts AU that details their lives from first to seventh year, depicting Kaz’s struggle with Minister of Magic Pekka Rollins and the ghosts in Inej’s closet. Slytherin house isn’t ready for these two.

My second piece for this years gvbb, drawn for @likefirings’s fic, Something Wicked This Way Comes. Had to power through a terrible art block but somehow we made it! Much love to my amazingly talented gang members <3

Linking the rest of the gang’s pieces below:

Etherealki:@likefirings (link to the fic on tumblr)

Materialki:@art-by-me19(x)

Materialki:@forgetyourtroubleshappyday(x)

Materialki:@margot-arts(x)

Materialki:@purns-art(x)

Materialki:@violetfolgi(x)

But even as she gave thanks, she knew that the rain was not enough. She wanted a storm—thunder, wind, a deluge. She wanted it to crash through Ketterdam’s pleasure houses, lifting roofs and tearing doors off their hinges. She wanted it to raise the seas, take hold of every slaving ship, shatter their masts, and smash their hulls against unforgiving shores. I want to call that storm, she thought. And four million kruge might be enough to do it. Enough for her own ship—something small and fierce and laden with firepower. Something like her. She would hunt the slavers and their buyers. They would learn to fear her, and they would know her by her name. The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true. She clung to the wall, but it was purpose she grasped at long last, and that carried her upward.

She was not a lynx or a spider or even the Wraith. She was Inej Ghafa, and her future was waiting above.

Six of Crows, Chapter 25: Inej

I’m going to pry that fat jewel from its setting and jab the pin right through your mercher neck for chaining me to a chair, Kaz thought. But all he said was, “Van Eck.”

Six of Crows, Chapter 3