#incorrect six of crows
Wylan: are jesper and kaz having a staring contest?
Inej: jesper is having a staring contest. kaz is plotting revenge and hasn’t remembered to blink for the past five minutes
Jesper: How’d you like the kiss?
Wylan: The what?
Kuwei:*chuckles*
Jesper: What makes me smile?
Wylan: I don’t know?
Jesper(laughing): Face muscles!
Wylan: Okay wow-
Kaz: I wouldn’t let an idiot join the dregs, ever.
Everyone who’s part of the dregs: What about me?
Kaz: Do you ever think before you do something?
Jesper: Should I?
Kaz:*facepalm*
Kaz(thinking): I could call her sweetheart, but nah, I’d sound like a softy-
Kaz(saying): I protect my investments.
[texting]
jesper: djskalaldhsal
kaz: what is that?
jesper: it’s a keyboard smash
kaz: how do i do it?
jesper: just press anything
kaz: 7
wylan: can you do me a favor?
jesper: i would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for you
wylan: okay cool can you do the dishes?
jesper: no
Inej: Hey, Nina, what’s for dinner tonight?
Nina: Tonight I’m serving LOOKS
Jesper: *slams fists on table* WE HAVEN’T EATEN IN THREE DAYS
If 9 year old Kaz had discovered yo mama jokes, he would’ve had the entirety of Ketterdam on its knees, sobbing, in three days.
Kaz teaching his future child to drive: Now, what do you do if someone cuts you off?
Kanej Child: I flip them off and “pit-maneuver their ass”
Kaz: *So proud*
Kaz: The true lesson of making mistakes actually isn’t to learn from them, it’s a reminder to always kill any witnesses.
Kaz:Jesper, why are you wearing that huge bow?
Jesper:Because it’s Christmas and I’m Ghezen’s gift to the world
Kaz:*smiles*
Jesper:…Is that a threat?
Wylan: are jesper and kaz having a staring contest?
Inej: jesper is having a staring contest. kaz is plotting revenge and hasn’t remembered to blink for the past five minutes
Kaz: Jesper, I said no guns!
Jesper: I thought you said no gum
Kaz: But you’re also chewing gum
Jesper: I’m a wildcard *blows bubble*
Adulting is soup and I am a fork
– Wylan when he first started living in Ketterdam
Kaz: I don’t know what to say.
Wylan: Just be yourself. Say something nice.
Kaz: Which one? I can’t do both.
(Watching Kaz and Jesper argue/fight)
Inej: This is bad.
Nina: I know.
Nina: I wish we had popcorn.
Kaz: We could kill them.
Wylan: *sigh* Why is murder your answer to everything?
Wylan: It’s a package from my dad.
Jesper: It’s heavy, what is it?
Wylan: Must be his disappointment in me.
Jesper: Kid, you are old enough now, I think it is time we have the talk.
Wesper Child: Dad, no! I already know where kids come from. We really do not have to do this.
Jesper:
Jesper: Oh no, I did not mean that kind of talk. I mean the “a lot of people in your family are actually criminals” talk. So, it all started with your uncle Kaz, who–
Nina: Hey Matthias, can you spell “perfect” for me?
Matthias: Of course, N-I-N-A.
Nina: *blushing* you’re too cheesy.
Wylan: *overhearing the convo* Jesper, can you spell “perfect” for me?
Jesper: Sure darling, J-E-S-P-E-R.
Wylan:
Wylan: Why am I with you again?
Wylan: Can you keep a secret?
Kaz: Do you know anything about my life?
Wylan: No, good point.
