the crows are so much funnier than the fandom give them credit for
here are just SOME of the funniest moments throughout the books
“….you can find your way to Ravka or Matthias’ grandmother’s house for all i care” “leave my grandmother out of this”
obviously the ghost scene
pay someone to pay someone to pay someone to
“you speak Fjerdan about as well as i speak moose” “moose is probably your native tongue”
‘Had they blown up the lab? Kaz had definitely NOT told them to blow up the lab’
The deadpan ‘He had not been shot’
Kaz trying to justify his decision if bringing Wylan along to the rest of the crows: “ i told you, ✨hidden depths✨” “see Jesper, ✨marketable skillz✨”
‘“You all look so young, where are your parents?” Wylan and Jesper burst out laughing’
“This many people having fun in one place might have shocked the Fjerdan right out of you”
“I.Should.Let.You.Die”
Nina trying to bring Kaz back: “The Ice Court, remember? 3 million kruge?” Kaz’s eyes cleared. “4million”
“You couldn’t look guiltier if you were performing the role of Thief #3 in a penny play on East Stave”
“Who wants to buy i coat in the dead on night?” “Tourists”
“Tiny and Ferocious, just like you”
“Unless you have a unicorn for him to ride away on, there is no scenario that guarantees Kuwei’s safety”
‘They could fake a pregnancy. They couldn’t fake an actual birth. Or maybe they could, he wouldn’t put anything past Kaz at this point”
“He has a very soothing baritone”
‘“I’d prefer a pair of sable-lined swimming trunks, but we can’t always get what we want” A furrow appeared between Kuwei’s brows. His understanding of Kerch had apparently been reached and surpassed’
The Wyvil
Matthias thinking they should just let Nina and Jesper flirt the entirety of Ketterdam into submission
That MASTERPIECE of a scene where Jesper and Kaz have a random petty fistfight, and all the other crows literally move out of the way, and then when Wylan tries to get someone to stop them they just shrug and go ‘I mean they aren’t using their weapons let them fight it out’ and THEN Colm coming him and scolding them and both of them IMMEDIATELY stopping
“Whatever you say, Llewelyn”
Nina’s singing
Wylan and Kaz falling through the ceiling onto Van Eck’s dinner party will ALWAYS be iconic
Kaz’s chapters in general are absolutely HILARIOUS, but my personal favorite is when he’s depending on Matthias Not Betraying them, and he thinks something like this:
‘Either he was right and Matthias’ feeling for Nina would prove enough, or Kaz was about to pay for all those talking tree jokes’
The talking tree jokes in question
The initiation ceremony where the tree teaches you the secret handshake
‘His first thought was that this boy had the most beautiful lips he’d ever seen, and his second was that he was probably about to die’ Wylan honey we’ve got to talk about your priorities
“Is it that bad?” “No, you just have really ugly feet”
That scene at the start of Six of Crows where Van Eck has Kaz tied to a chair and is explaining what he needs, and then is explaining why he needs Kaz specifically, talking about how his De Kappel painting was stolen which is a really impressive feat, while Kaz is vehemently denying that he had anything to do with it although it was obviously him
Wylan being passive aggressive while Jesper is trailing after him trying to apologize for the Kuwei thing
“Can’t we just enter as performers? I hear Wylan really kills it on the flute”
Inej getting Nina’s cookie jar after she gets back and Jesper being offended that he didn’t get to take some
Nina making fun of Kaz’s haircut
“Is my tie straight?”
That’s all I can think of for now, i’m sure there’s more so if you think of something feel free to add on
•Jesper is the one to steal all the hotel shampoo and conditioner, etc
•Nina honks much too often so they try and keep her out of the drivers seat
•Inej breaks her hairbrush at one of the motels so she and kaz make a midnight grocery store run and come back with a hairbrush, chips, and $2 fuzzy socks with crows on them
•Wylan and Kaz end up watching cooking shows together in the motel room
•Inej hands kaz his food while they drive (he pretends to be annoyed by this)
•they go out for a nice sit down dinner one night and upon taking the first bite, Jes exclaims, “I FORGOT WHAT REAL FOOD TASTED LIKE!!!”
•At one of the motels they all sneak out to the pool after hours, Jes is in the pool, kaz is on a chair with a book, and the rest are all squished in the hot tub
•Matthias snores super loudly and they make a game of trying to quiet him without waking him up
•Matthias is the best speller out of the gang (he competed in spelling bees as a kid)
•Kaz taught Inej how to drive (she got a ticket in his car once and he’s never let her live it down, it’s become a joke between them)
Make sure to comment thoughts, ideas, personal headcanons, and what you want to see next!
the two great underrated nina zenik comparisons: El from stranger things (girls who are super soldier human weaponry for massive multilateral warfare and also love dresses, their friends, and mediocre looking wafles) and Elizabeth Jennings (women who love their countries so fucking much they’re going to devote their lives to going deep cover in the land of their deepest enemy whose religiosity and social conservatism they detest, have perfect mermaid hair and the most average looking men imaginable)
If there is one thing I AM going to do, it’s draw a bunch of pretty women from my silly little comfort series on my silly little day off for the good of my silly mental health, so jot that down
I can’t believe Shadow and Bone comes out tomorrow (!!) I’ve been internally screaming all week. Anyway here are my (finally) finished portraits of Alina, Inej, Genya and Nina. I can’t wait to see these characters and this world come to life on screen.
• I would have come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together-knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.
Crooked Kingdom / Leigh Bardugo
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This is the second and final books in the soc (six of crows) duology. The crew managed to break into the most secure prison (the Ice Kingdom). But now they’re having a bit of a rough patch trying to get out of their own city. As always, Kaz has the most flawless plans, Inej is the Wraith, Wylan has a useful knowledge for chemistry; Nina and Jesper have their powers, and Mathasis was a soldier. Yet the book will leave you in tears. No mourners, no funerals? 5/5
