the reason tht ppl hating on shadow and bone books or even the fandom ticks me off is bcuz, shadow and bone is a perfectly great book, with good world and character building showing themes different from books released at the time, but the reason ppl dont like it is bcuz the book tried to sell to an audience tht wantedthe villain to get the girl and the bad guy to ultimately win. Neither the author nor the fandom is at fault here.
Credit to @emmaannaelisabeth for the wonderful characters of the Crows’ children. Thank you for letting me use them. <33
“I know…” Matthias trails off, how to explain this to a child? “I know the snow and ice can be unforgiving, but it isn’t entirely bad. You know that, don’t you?”
Jordie nods and Matthias continues, “Would you like to hear a story?”
Matthias isn’t sure how to speak with him, but a child of Kaz and Inej’s is smart, and Jordie is a sweet child. His heart warms as he sees Jordie’s eyes light up and nod eagerly, “Oh yes please!”
“When I was a child, near your age, I was given a crystal, it was beautiful, it looked like the most beautiful shard of ice that could never melt. I was told to treat it with care and for hours I did. But my sister bumped into me and I ended up dropping it, the point shattered when it hit the floor.”
“I was so upset, at my sister, at myself. I yelled at her and she ran, much like you did. When my father went out to search for her, I still hadn’t cared. He brought her home, half-frozen and weaker than I’d ever seen her,” Matthias shakes his head, even now the guilt weighs heavy, “She had always loved to sew, her fingers were slender and lovely, but when I caught sight of them, they were black. My father had brought the doctor to see her, it was frostbite, she lost most of her fingers.”
“This is a very sad story.”
“It was,” He nods. “For a long time she could not find happiness and I carried the guilt with me, but a year later, I was forgiven, but better than that, she found something new she could do, even without her fingers. She learned to paint, she couldn’t hold a brush, but with her hands on the canvas she was able to create the most beautiful pictures I’d ever seen.”
“Why have I never heard of her before, Uncle Matt? She sounds nice.”
“That’s a story for another time, Lille Demjin.” Matthias smiles warmly and ruffles Jordie’s hair.
“Don’t let the guilt of the past weigh you down, you are young, you must move forward. Do not hold on to the sadness. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Now you get some rest, it’ll be Christmas in the morning and you have so many presents to open.” The boy shivers and Matthias pulls the covers higher over his shoulders, but the room isn’t cold.
“Goodnight Uncle Matt, thank you for the story,” He pauses for a moment, “I’d like to meet your sister someday, there’s always room for more Aunties! And tell Lindie I say hi, please.”
“I will.” Matthias smiles and shuts the door behind him, Jordie will never meet his sister. She had died only two years after she lost her fingers, her last painting left unfinished, a pocket-sized portrait of Matthias- The only worldly possession he ever truly misses. Her death, even to this day, has left him learning the same lesson he hopes he taught Jordie. Guilt is a weight, it’ll drown you if it can.
——
Kaz had insisted that Inej needed rest, he would watch Jordie as he slept. She did her best to sleep, but it was restless, filled with the fear of losing her child.
Now she wakes with a start, Wylan is shaking her awake, she fights the urge to yank his hand off of her, I am safe, he is not here to hurt me. She takes a deep breath before she meets his eyes, even in the dark, and the concern rushes in.
“It’s Jordie.”
——
Melinda is scared, one moment she’d left the room with her Dads to go check on her friend, and the next JJ had woken up and couldn’t stop coughing. She’d run back to get her Da and moments later he’d left to get Inej with a worried look painted across his face.
She doesn’t get too close as the adults come into the room, encircling Jordie, they’ll take care of him. Jesper leaves from beside JJ to make space for Inej, walking over to stand beside Melinda.
“Da? Will he be alright?” She swears she sees a flash of fear in his grey eyes, but before she can think on it, he wraps her in his arms, maybe everything will be okay, she hugs him back.
Tears threaten to spill over, she’s trying so hard to be mature, she’s ten years old now, she needs to be a good example for JJ. But her best friend in the whole world is sick and everyone keeps looking at each other all weird, and there’s something they aren’t telling her and it makes her want to cry. So she does, she cries until Wylan stops talking and hugs her tightly and ruffles her ruddy gold hair until he convinces her it’ll all be okay. She just wants her friend to be better.
She isn’t allowed too close to his bedside, everyone is worried that she’ll catch whatever cold he has. He might be dying- Ghezen, don’t think of that. But she does, he might be dying and I can’t even hug him. He looks so tired.
She resorts to reading him a book from across the room, though she’s not sure he can hear her, he’s somewhere between sleep and being awake. The book is about an adventure, through forests and mountains, two best friends go in search of a treasure, fighting warlocks and dragons.
“Lindie?” Jordie croaks out, he sounds like Uncle Kaz.
“Yeah?” She stops reading.
“Promise me something. One day, you and I go on an adventure. I wanna meet a dragon.”
She nods, ”I promise.” She thinks for a second, ”What if he’s evil?”
“He’s probably just hangry, I’ll give him one of Auntie Ninny’s waffles.”
Melinda nods sagely before they both burst out laughing.
——
Nina feels helpless and the disappointed looks Kaz keeps giving her don’t help, he must think she doesn’t see it, but she knows. It hurts, but it’s no worse than what she already feels, the disappointment she already feels for herself, the guilt. All she wants is to help Jordie, but she cannot hear his heartbeat as she once would’ve been able to, all she feels is Death, creeping into the room, waiting to claim the child, he doesn’t deserve this.
It’s late at night before she makes her way into the kitchen, unable to sleep. Unsurprisingly, no one else has been able to either. Kaz and Inej sit at the table, both staring out into nothing, Jesper is sitting on the counter, hugging Wylan as he stands between his legs, his face pressed against Jesper’s chest. Only Matthias had been able to sleep, and even then he’s been mumbling things.
“Mind if I join you?” Her voice feels small in the heavy silence that blankets them all, any traces of hope are gone. No one acknowledges her fully, Inej sort of nods and Nina plops down in a chair, at least she can worry in the company of everyone else.
It’s even later in the night before she asks to speak with Kaz after Inej finally made her way to bed and after Jesper and Wylan did too.
“He isn’t getting any better,” How is she meant to say this?
“Obviously.” Kaz’s glares, she tries not to take it to heart.
“I can help him, Kaz.” She knows he understands fully and the look he gives her confirms her suspicion.
“No, Zenik, you cannot.” He looks down, but there’s no mistaking it.
“Brekker, give it to me, and maybe I can have a chance to save him,” Tears well in Nina’s eyes, “You and I both know this is our only option, Death hangs in the air, it’s waiting for the first moment of weakness from him.”
Kaz sighs, running a hand through that haircut of his, Nina knows it’s a hard decision, but she knows what he’ll say.
“I don’t have any.”
“Liar.”
Defeat is apparent in his posture, only the possible death of his son would make Kaz Brekker lie down like this, “Do you really think you could save him? Even after the change?”
Nina raises her chin, “I’d rather know I did my damned best than give up and just let him die.”
If only Eskil were here, if only he and Ava hadn’t taken the twins and gone to visit Ava’s grandparents, if only he weren’t in Ravka, if only he could save Jordie, if only… She pushes the ‘what if’s away” there’s not time for them now.
Story: In the woods near Polvost, Ravka, a litter of foxes was born. Koja was the runt of the litter, a small, ugly fox who was nearly eaten by his mother. By appealing to her vanity, he convinced her to let him live—the first time Koja escaped a trap using his clever words. Outside his den, Koja was cornered by a pack of hounds, and claimed to be a wish-granting fox in order to push the hounds into fighting each other so that he could escape.
When Koja stepped into a farmer’s trap, he called out to the bloodthirsty black bear Ivan Gostov. The bear picked up Koja’s trap with the intention of eating him, but Koja spoke to the fleas on the bear. Koja would allow the fleas to live on him for one year, if they all bit Ivan Gostov. In his pain, the black bear dropped Koja’s trap, allowing the fox to run to safety. With the fleas, Koja became uglier and smelled so terrible that only the nightingale Lula would visit him. After a year with the fleas, Koja stole kvas and a chicken from the farmer and brought them to Ivan Gostov. He convinced the bear that Koja would be better company than a meal, and the fox and bear became friends.
One winter, Ivan Gostov disappeared. Koja sent Lula to investigate the town and she discovered that the legendary hunter Lev Jurek had arrived in Polvost. Jurek was known for traveling from village to village, emptying the woods of fauna and never making a sound nor leaving tracks. Concerned for the lives of the forest animals, Koja and Lula went into town and observed Jurek and his sister, Sofiya, in their daily routines. Jurek held parties and boasted of his kills; Sofiya sat by the fire and sewed her patchwork cloak of animal furs.
Koja followed Sofiya on her regular journey across the valley to the old widows’ home. At a clearing, the girl stopped and began to cry, and Koja told her a funny story to cheer her up. On Sofiya’s next trip to bring food to the widows, Koja told her stories of his cleverness and Sofiya gave him cheese. The next day, Sofiya told Koja about her brother. Koja needed to know how Jurek could hunt so silently in the forest, and Sofiya told him that her brother carried a charm from a witch.
Koja gathered dropwort leaves to ensure Jurek would remain asleep while Sofiya stole his magic charm. He encouraged the other animals not to leave, telling them that the hunter would soon be gone from their woods. He gave Sofiya the dropwort and the next day, she returned with the charm. Koja and Sofiya shared wine and food, and the fox fell asleep in her lap. Sofiya began to cut off Koja’s coat with her knife, revealing that she, not her brother, was the silent hunter. She lured the animals into her trap, offering companionship or whatever the animals sought. Dying, Koja cried out; Lula heard his call and pecked out Sofiya’s eyes, blinding her.
After two days, a blind Sofiya returned to her brother, but she could no longer lure animals into her traps. Jurek, no longer living in fear of his sister, became a woodcutter and married. His wife was discomfited by his sister, so Jurek sent Sofiya to live at the old widows’ house. Koja and Lula made a quiet life together, and Koja learned to be more careful when dealing with humans and traps.
Tattoo Idea:
Koja and Lula (the fox and Nightingale) huddled together with the words: “the trap is loneliness” beneath them
