#soc incorrect quotes
Jesper: There’s no need to argue.
Kaz: I never argue. I explain.
If 9 year old Kaz had discovered yo mama jokes, he would’ve had the entirety of Ketterdam on its knees, sobbing, in three days.
Kaz teaching his future child to drive: Now, what do you do if someone cuts you off?
Kanej Child: I flip them off and “pit-maneuver their ass”
Kaz: *So proud*
Kaz: The true lesson of making mistakes actually isn’t to learn from them, it’s a reminder to always kill any witnesses.
Kaz:Jesper, why are you wearing that huge bow?
Jesper:Because it’s Christmas and I’m Ghezen’s gift to the world
Kaz:*smiles*
Jesper:…Is that a threat?
Kaz:No, I am
Nikolai:No, I am
Kaz:No, it’s me
Nikolai:Me!
Inej: What are you two arguing about?
Nikolai:Which one of us is the better Bastard™️
Kaz:Tell him it’s me, Inej
Inej:…. I hate you both
The Twelve Day of Christmas, But The Crows Sing It
Jesper: On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 12 sticky bombs, 11 corroding acids-
Inej: 10 hat requests, 9 withering glares-
Matthias: 8 lewd comments, 7 embarrassing moments-
Wylan: 6 bad decisions, 5 silver bullets-
Nina: 4 giant waffles, 3 condescending looks-
Kaz: No.
Kaz:…… 2 huge betrayals, and oneeee impossibleeeee heistttttt
Jesper:The glass is half full
Matthias:No, it’s half empty
Kaz, observing the glass: It’s poisoned, you podges
Inej:No Kaz, attempted murder is not“festive”
Jesper:My Da told me I can be anything.
Kaz: Then be quiet.
Kaz is just an emo Elsa
Petition to see Kaz wear eyeliner in season two.
Jesper:I got hit by a car- but before you ask! No, it wasn’t like that
Inej:So you weren’thit by a car?
Jesper:Oh no, I definitely was, I broke three bones!
Jesper: Oh, for fuck's—Go fuck yourself, merchling.
Wylan: FUCK ME YOURSELF, COWARD
Jesper:
Wylan:
Jesper: ʷʰʸ ʷᵃˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵃˢ ʰᵒᵗ ᵃˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵃˢ
Nina: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?
Kaz:The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.
Nina:Literally all you had to say was no, edgelord.
Wylan: Some people are like slinkies.
Jesper:Explain.
Wylan: Not really good for much but makes you crack a smile when you push it down the stairs.
Jesper: Please don’t push Kuwei down the stairs.
Wylan:You can’t stop me!
Pekka: You’re really campaigning for asshole of the year, aren’t you?
Kaz: As defending champion, are you nervous?
Inej:Are you getting enough sleep?
Kaz: Sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close.
Kaz:Can we talk about that text you sent everyone in the group chat?
Nina: It was a critical update.
Kaz: It just said “I miss Mattias”.
Nina: The people needed know.
Kaz, to Inej: You’re too good for this world.
Kaz: But that’s okay.
Kaz: I’ll be an asshole for the both of us.
Kaz: How to kiss someone.
Kaz: Grab their waist.
Kaz: Slip your hand into their pocket.
Kaz: Steal their wallet.
Kaz: Don’t even kiss them.
Kaz: Just run.
Kaz: Who’s trying to kill us?
Inej: No one…?
Kaz:That’s new.
Mattias:Hey can I be frank with you guys?
Nina:Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Wylan: Can I be Ralph?
Jesper: Shh, let Frank speak.
Mattias:
Pekka: We can’t tell you because you’re not part of the club.
Kaz: What club?
Van eck: The hating Brekker club.
Kaz:…The fuck? I should be the leader of that club.
Inej: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for you health so you shouldn’t do it.
Kaz: I know, that’s why I bottle up all my emotions both positive and negative so it cancels out.
Inej: Tha-that’s not how that works…
Kaz: Jesper, not a word.
Jesper:…
Jesper:Fergalicious.
Kaz: I said no words.
Jesper: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago when we were playing scrabble, it’s not a word? And now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.
