Me:* an autistic person vibing to a song and taking every word of the song literally. *

People: ACTAULLY THIS SONG AS A SUPER DEEP AND HIDDEN MEANING! YOU’RE A BAD/DUMB PERSON IF YOU DIDN’T INSTANTLY GET IT!! HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THE SUPER DEEP HIDDEN MEANING?!

Me:

the concept of someone with a mental illness healing and moving forward is not the same or even comparable to someone with a mental disability. both are serious, but are not the same.

it’s also hilarious to me to see all of this shit about how people need to heal in their own time, in their own ways yet no one seems to understand that it being their way does not give you the right to be selfish and decide when they’ve exhausted their way of healing. if someone has a specific way that works for them and you come in fucking up their whole routine, that is YOUR fault, not the fault of them regressing because you refuse to fucking listen to what they say triggers them. someone in the right environment can heal in months, bring that negativity right back into their space of growth and they will always recede.

FYI, being neurotypical / able-bodied and knowing a disabled person doesn’t give you free range to joke about disability, especially if you don’t know the person that well.

This morning, I have a colleague that I barely talk to here and there who came up to me and asked me unprompted (don’t do that either, by the way):

 “Tell me if I’m wrong, but you’re like slightly autistic, right?”

I’m pretty open about my disability at my workplace, so I told him that I was “autistic”, ditching the functioning label, and he then added, I kid you not:

“Well, I think I’m going to see my doctor this afternoon, and get diagnosed with Stupidity Syndrome, so that I won’t have to deal with our customers anymore.”

I was stunned.I didn’t even know what to say or how to react, but my anxiety took over and I let out a nervous laugh, and I think he took it as a sign that his joke was funny? Somehow? 

He then started to understand that it wasn’t the case, and he rambled about how he was the stupid one, and he just wanted a way to not deal with customers again. 

Just so you know, I’m very open to making fun of myself and my disability, especially around people who I feel safe with. I laugh about my executive dysfunction, my social mistakes, and even my sensory issues. 

But this joke felt like a slap to my face, given that I have an accommodation to not work with customers specifically because of my disability (and he knows that). 

I fought to get that accommodation, and it was almost taken away from me a few times, because my previous boss hated me and used every leverage he could have against me. I’m working my ass off so that people won’t think that I’m “slacking off”, because I’m accommodated that way. It’s not something I just got from visiting a doctor once and that was it. It’s a constant struggle.

It wasn’t just a slap to my face, but to every autistic person I ever came across, whether they’re intellectually disabled or not. 

I’m so angry at myself that I wasn’t eloquent enough at the moment to let him know how ableist his joke was, how ableist the idea of “stupidity syndrome” is, and how much he was disrespecting disabled people who are struggling every day just to get the tiniest amount of respect from other people and society.

I’m all for “let’s stop framing disability as a full-on tragedy all the time”, but it doesn’t mean that we have to go to the opposite and mock it / belittle it like that! 

This colleague legitimately thought that, because he knew I’m disabled and I’m open about it, it gave him a free pass to just joke about it, without giving it a second thought. It doesn’t. Especially if you don’t know how to joke without belittling others.

You’re NT/able-bodied and you know disabled people in your entourage? 

Well, instead of just going straight for “Oh, I can joke about that, I have a disabled friend/colleague/cousin/whatnot”, keep yourself informed. If the person is open to talk about it, then ask them about their disability (and learn to accept when “no” is “no”). 

Try to show at the very least the minimal amount of understanding, I’m begging you. It’s not that hard, trust me.

Also, stop being so ableist towards intellectual disability in general. You’re not better than others because your IQ (which is a bullshit concept too) is average or above average. 

Edit: it’s okay to reblog this post if you want to.

I get the whole Mad Pride/Disability Pride thing and I have no issue with it existing. I’m really glad that it’s there for people who need it!!! /gen

I’m just really tired of having it forced on me.

Anyone can opt in or out of any community. I’m not saying that Mad Pride and Disability Pride don’t exist, or that the communities aren’t real, just that I choose not to participate. And people get mad at me for that.

So no, I’m not proud to be disabled, neurodivergent, or mentally ill.

I’m proud to still be alive.

And for me, those aren’t the same thing.

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Dysaltered

Dysaltered,or dysalt for short, is a term for disabled alterhumans, such as those who feel as though their disability impacts their alterhumanity or vice versa, those who are alterhuman due to disability, or otherwise has disability linked with alterhumanity in a sense. You can also spell it as disaltered or disalt.

Dysaltered people do not need to be any specific kind of alterhuman, nor any specific kind of origin or experience, to be dysaltered. Those who are alterhuman and disabled, but that are not impacted by each other, can still use this if they so choose.

As a concept or community, dysaltered focuses specifically on disabled inclusion, accommodation, and discussion within the alterhuman community. It may also focus on experiences only disabled alterhumans have, such as the impact of mobility aids.

This is an all-inclusive label in which many experiences under both the alterhuman and disabled umbrella may fit, and gatekeeping is strictly not okay. Any disabilities (physical, mental, etc.) are welcome, as are any diagnosis status.

This is NOT synonymous with “[origin] caused alterhumanity.” Any kind of alterhuman, spiritual, psychological, or otherwise, may be disabled, and thus may be dysaltered.

Flag, symbol, and description are by me, whereas the name suggestion was by the lovely @sunshinesolaic. Subterms, alternate flags and alternate symbols are welcome!

If you feel like you want to use this, but have a specific alterhuman identity and don’t feel comfortable simply using “alterhuman,” you’re welcome to use dys- as a prefix, like dyskin, dyshearted, dyslink, dystelic, etc.

Couple alternate flags below the cut.

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