#neurodivergence
#gecko tho pls consider new keyboard?#i had a laptop with a screwed up keyboard for years i just plugged in a wireless one#it’s like 20 bucks i recommend this investment - via @whetstonefires
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I wanted to believe it was the keyboard’s fault. I really did! But I’ve gone through multiple keyboards and computers, and they all tend to have the same problem. I think it might be me.
I got chastised once, during an exam, for pressing my pencil so hard into the paper that the person behind me (probably dealing with text anxiety) started panicking from the noise. I leave deep enough grooves in my paper when drawing that white lines criss-cross any colouring I try to do. My hand cramps if I use a pencil for more than 15 minutes. And I can’t use any features on a stylus that requires pressure sensitivity. I always use maximum pressure.
It’s probably me.
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A mechanical/extra-rugged keyboard would probably solve the issue. I’d probably end up with new, noise related, problems, though. And I’d have to BUY it. ~shiver~ I hate shopping SO MUCH.
i need people to understand that whereas theres nothing wrong with being disabled, a disability does imply a defect or damage. it means that something isnt working properly. autism is not any kind of defect or damage. nor is it caused by any kind of defect or damage.
autistic brains are functioning as they should. optimally. and are a natural variation in the same sense that any normative variation in personality is.
autism is not a disability.
autism is not a disorder.
the fact that autistic people have a harder time than others in modern society is not evidence that autism is the cause, but that modern society is flawed and has not taken us into account.
arguing that autism is a disability is equal to arguing that being transgender or gay is a disability, because it is a variation in much the same way and it negatively impacts the person with that label for much the same reasons.
Reblogging with original tags.
Related to the “loss of speech” event, it happened while I was with a NT friend. I was so overwhelmed, I gradually stopped being able to talk out loud at all. I knew I needed to warn my friend somehow, because it was her birthday and her daughter’s as well, and I didn’t want to ruin that for her.
I typed a few words on my phone to explain the situation, and you know what she did? She just said “Alright, I get it.” and she didn’t make a big deal out of it. She went out of her way for the restaurant folks to be mindful and turn down the sound of the (very loud) music, without ever specifying that I was disabled.
She was mindful to ask me “yes or no” questions, and when she had to ask open questions, she waited for me to type it out on my phone.
She also explained the situation quickly to her children, and asked them to be mindful and not talk to me too much (which I was grateful for, because those children can be so chatty and loud sometimes, even if they’re nice x) ). All in all, she was nothing, but understanding. And the situation didn’t worsen, thanks to that.
If you’re NT or allistic and you want to be a good ally, take notes. Whether your autistic friend/folk/whatever they are to you is fully nonverbal or only experiencing episodes of speech loss, respect their needs, and accept that spoken language isn’t the only viable way to communicate.
If you’re in a position to do something to help them and make the situation easier on them, don’t hesitate. If you’re not, be understanding and allow them an out. Don’t force them to stay and suffer, and, more than that, don’t complain afterward if the person is then having a meltdown.
i feel like the infantilisation of autistic people in the eyes of science and psychology really stunts them when it comes to talking about some of the issues that come from being autistic in a world built for nt people. like i dont think ive ever seen substance abuse rates discussed wrt autistics because thats an “adult problem” and the public at large has an image of autistic adults as overgrown kids, despite the fact that almost every other autistic adult ive met has had a history of substance abuse issues at least partly in response to the stress of existing in the world as an autistic person. like if youre constantly beset on all sides by stress and sensory overload of course youre going to gravitate towards drugs and alcohol and things that smooth over those sharp edges, make socialising easier, etc…
I once tried to explain depression to someone as like if one day you gradually started to lose both your sense of taste and your ability to feel full. And you don’t know why, but now everything you eat tastes like mashed potatoes and nothing you eat is satisfying. You keep eating because you must eat to live, but the effort that it takes to prepare food is taxing and there is no pay off. You just know it will taste like mashed potatoes. You just know you will still be hungry. So you stop bothering with seasonings. Then you stop bothering to use ingredients you used to like. Then you start to wonder what the point of eating is because there is no payoff. You still feel hungry and you’re sick of the taste and you don’t know if you will ever enjoy food again and you don’t know why this is happening.
If someone comes up to you in this scenario and says, “Well have you tried spicing your food? Using different ingredients? Eating foods you used to love?” It isn’t necessarily helpful because the reason you stopped doing all that in the first place is that everything…tasted…like mashed…potatoes.
before you ever even consider having a child you should be ready to handle a disabled child, you should be ready to handle twins, you should be ready to handle a gay child or a trans child
because if you’re not ready for your child to be anything other than one straight, cis, able bodied and able minded child, you’re going to end up neglecting and abusing somebody for years to come
and even if your child is all that, you might have a feminine boy or a masculine girl on your hands. so be fucking ready for your child to be a human being and not YOUR PRODUCT or PROPERTY or CREATION
fucking sort your shit out, i am so tired of shitty parental sob stories about how “hard” it is to “raise” (read: beat the divergency out of) an autistic child or whatever. do you know what’s harder? being the divergent child of parents who you’ve already let down by virtue of existing in a way they didn’t ask for. putting up with years of neglect and abuse because you’re just not good enough for them, you weren’t what they were planning for or expecting.
why do people keep asking me about movie and tv show plots like i will either give you the most detailed explanation and waste three hours of your life or say something like “u know it’s this little guy doing things and stuff” and leave it at that
i think my problem with summarizing stuff comes from my inability to grasp what things other find important. like. for me sometimes details in a story are key and other times i’m just seeing a big, concise picture. and i never know what i’m suppose to inform others about? idk if this happens to some of you guys too whether u are neutotypical or neurodivergent
girls be like omg i love reading and then proceed to not do that
what is a mentally ill person’s phone gallery if not the place where screenshots of things you wanted to remember but will never look at again go to die
people in my life have always misunderstood the sheer power of last minute panic. “you can NOT start that assignment the day before it’s due!!” like no offence but procrastination gives me anxiety-induced superpowers your little mortal schedules could never
i’m really out there performing the most complicated role of all which is hiding that i’m absolutely insane and not fit in any way to live in a society
girls will say “it’s fine, it happens to everybody!” and they’re living through villain-origin-story kinda shit
how to keep friends without the mortifying ordeal of staying in touch yahoo answers
normalize not remembering shit. “i literally just told you—“ dude that was rehearsal n°1. imma need a couple more takes before the info actually sticks.
i hated when teachers handed me back an exam and said “i ExPecTeD mOrE oF yOu”… based on WHAT??!previous performance? if my chaotic ass tricked you into thinking i am consistent in any way shape or form well that’s on you. do better.
Prior note: As with all my posts, this is aimed at writing fiction, specifically I write young adult fantasy. This isn’t meant for a story about mental illness or neurodivergence, rather it is about writing these things into a story.
Also note, I do use mental illness and neurodivergence interchangeable because there’s not standardised definition of neurodivergence and these are new language terms. I know some people see and use them in different scenarios but I’m of the opinion (and of course this may change with time) that because society is built for those with “normally functioning brains”, pretty much all become obstacles. Simply less or more problematic ones.
When it comes to mental illness in characters there are a couple of points I want to focus in on:
-When to label it. Especially if like me you’re writing primarily fantasy. Mental illness has always existed, but hasn’t always had a label. So who’s to say it has a label in your world?
You can clearly show a character who is neurodivergent without ever straight up saying it.
Sometimes it’s also powerful to just show not tell. An example could be Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, it’s never been officially stated that he had depression. Yet, he’s often used as an example of depression in media. It wouldn’t make sense in the context of the show to say it outright, but it’s still representation and could be helpful to some children to see and understand it.
-How to talk about symptoms. Trying to talk about symptoms when we know they are symptoms can be hard. We end up using technical terms that bring you out of the story. For example, a reader is going to understand a relate more to a character picking at her palm, tapping his leg or playing with their hair, than the word stemming.
I know fidgeting and stemming are not the same thing. But at the end of the day, even people who do stem will refer to it as fidgeting when talking in normal conversations, not in the mood to explain or just prior to diagnosis and understanding.
If we’re working in a setting that does not have the same level of understanding of mental health as our current society, it’s likely characters will talk about it in simplistic terms, the same way we do when explaining to children. Because they themselves are trying to understand it.
-When are symptoms skip-able. I’ve often heard, I can’t represent this, because I don’t want my character to have thatsymptom. And this could be for a number of reasons. Well, you ever heard the expression, “you don’t look like…”? If you do some research, you might be surprised by how many symptoms are not necessarily, and in some cases, not even common.
It’s weird the way society picks and chooses wheat mental illnesses look like. Usually due to media. If you think a character fits, you want to represent something, but there’s something not quite right, do your research.
-Where to research. Research is an important tool in writing. Especially on delicate topics such as this one. I can’t stress this enough because there are so many bad representations that can be harmful. And I’m not just talking about stereotypes! Media often shows “cures” or “treatments” that are absolutely harmful, they normalise things that should never be socially accepted.
So where to research?
YouTube is a good tool. There are a lot of YouTubers who are neurodivergent and happily telling their story and their experience. Make sure to watch several different people with the same mental illneses so as to ensure you can see not only the similarities, but the differences.
Friends and family. Having a friend who you can ask questions can be a huge help! It can be a bit awkward at first, but if you explain your writing and that you want to be as honest as possible with your representations, people are often open to help. If they aren’t open, obviously leave them alone! But people who have lived this first hand and are dealing with your specific questions are going to be the most accurate resource.
Experts, but with caution. See, papers and officialy published articles are great, for seeing things from the doctor’s point of view, of course. But when writing and when reading we don’t care too much about that, we care about the character and what they’re feeling and what they are going through. Experts can be great for understanding what is actually going on. Why would doing certain actions help or harm? Why do they act the way they act? But it can also be dangerous.
There are a lot of non-specialised experts. People who do publications and psychology without specialising in a specific area for example. And there information will be correct, but maybe not helpful. People who actually specialise in your specific needs are going to be far more helpful. So, for example a specialist in child PTSD, is a better source than just a normal family therapist.
-Specialised beta reading. Once all your research, writing and editing is done, it’s time to pick beta readers. And if you can afford to be a bit picky, try and find people who have experienced what you’re writing and see if they relate to that character. They might not, and that might not be a sign you did it wrong. Not everybody with generalised anxiety is the same after all. But it’s certainly going to be a far better hint than your own intuition.
Also, last of all, always write from experience. Your own, your friends, your family, or just that which you’ve observes in society. People-watching is an amazing writing tool.
As usual, check out my book, stories I’ve written plus other social medias: here.
This one more than ever I’d love to hear about all of your experience and tips!
I tend to stick to writing only that which I understand and know thoroughly and slowly branching out and trying to learn more. But sometimes I’m still hesitant. I never want to offend anybody.
