Executive dysfunction can make it feel impossible to be productive, even when you need to be. Especially during the pandemic, when we’re stuck at home without our usual routine, this is a big issue. Here’s some things that help me work through my executive dysfunction:
Note: These tips might not work for you! If you don’t feel comfortable doing some of these things, don’t feel pressured to! I have memory issues along with my autism so I need a highly structured life to be productive. You may not need as much structure as me!
Write down events and to dos.
Having everything you need to do written down takes a lot of burden off you mind and helps you feel less stressed. It also helps with memory issues if you have them.
Checking tasks and events off of lists and calendars help with a passive sense of accomplishment, which can make it easier to be productive.
Always looks at the amount of things you did throughout the day. You do much more than you think you do!
Suggested methods:
1)Write events down on a calendar.
Write everything you need to do on a calendar. Meetings, classes, family events, work, etc. You want to have this information in multiple places. For example, I use my phone’s calendar, which is synced to my laptop’s calendar. I also have a sticker on my wall that’s a weekly calendar, so I can focus on the things I need to do for the week!
Check off events as they pass and look at all the functions you attended! Be proud of yourself for not missing things!
2)Have a daily and weekly to do list.
These are lists of things you have to do every day and every week. This will mostly consist of chores, self care, pet care, and meals. It’s your choice what is a daily thing and what is a weekly thing. Put absolutely everything down, no matter how small!
It’s a good idea to hang these lists somewhere you can easily see them. As you do the tasks on the lists, you can check them off (I use sticky notes so I don’t ruin the list, since mine is paper.) You can use a whiteboard for this if you want!
As you check things off, you’ll notice just how much you actually get done and how fast you do it! That alone can make it easier to keep doing tasks so you can see that list filled up with checks! You can even reward yourself once your daily to do is done!
3)Make another daily to do list.
Alright, this one is different from #2. This list is a list of electives to do in a day.
I use this mostly for my college assignments. I pick 3-5 assignments (usually small ones) to do that day, but are not due that day. (I try to stay ahead so I can keep my lists as electives, since close due dates can make executive function worse.) Make sure to make this list the day that you’ll be doing the tasks. Planning in advance can make it harder to actually do them. You want to catch your own brain off guard here!
Again, as you complete things, check them off! The point of this list is to feel super good! You’re doing things ahead of time! Look at how productive that is!
Alternate between work and fun
Moving between something fun and something not so fun can help you get things done without getting bored or side tracked!
Doing something you enjoy right after doing work is rewarding!
Suggested methods:
1)Listen to/Watch a video while you work.
This is best for when you’re doing tasks that don’t require too much thinking, like chores or cooking. You can watch a YouTube video, watch TV, listen to a podcast, or something else while you do the things you need to get done.
This makes it 100x easier for me to do chores! Yeah, I might be folding laundry, which is long and boring, but I’m also watching an episode of my favorite show! Or a video on my current special interest! As far as my brain is concerned, I’m relaxing, not working.
2)Work, Relax, Repeat.
For things that require more thought, you can use this method. Pick an item on your to do list and do it. Or, if it’s too long for you to bring yourself to do, do a part of it. Need to type a paper but you can’t even get out of bed? Just move to your desk or grab your laptop and move on to the next step.
Now, pick something you enjoy doing, but be conscious of what it is. Don’t pick something you can easily get stuck on, like reading or social media. Pick something that has clear start and end points, like one battle in pokemon, or one episode of a show.
Then, go and do another task. After that, do something else you enjoy. And repeat again and again until you’re done for the day! This switching can get time consuming, but it’s so much better than not being able to do anything at all!
Know when to take a break
Take as many breaks during the day as you need to! Take an entire day off to relax if you feel you need it! Don’t burn yourself out by trying to brute force through everything. In the long run, this will make it harder for you to be productive.
Be mindful of health conditions
This section may seem counter productive, but these tips are meant to help long term.
If you have a condition that makes you feel unwell or causes you pain, addressing that condition will make it easier to be productive.
Suggestions:
1)If you feel unwell, lower your work load
Regardless of how busy you are, if you feel sick, don’t push yourself! Listen to your body. If it’s telling you you’re done for the day, you’re done. It’s not the end of the world if you miss something for your health. And don’t feel guilty about it either. Your well being is more important than a chore or assignment.
2)If you’re physically incapable of something, don’t try to do it
I’ll use myself as an example for this one. I have double-jointed wrists that get strained easily, so I can’t type a lot despite being a college student. So, I can only spend so much time on assignments in a day.
The first week of quarantine, I worked on my laptop twice as much as usual (among other things) and I got an overuse injury. I couldn’t even use my phone, much less my laptop for four (4) days. That was a lot of missed time.
TLDR: you might think you’re being more productive short term by pushing your limits, but in a few days there’ll be consequences. Please don’t hurt yourself.
Me, the person with memory problems, perfectly aware I have issues with memory: I don’t need to write this down, I’ll remember it
Do you mind if I ask you more about this? It’s hard to understand, because I’ve known I have memory problems and written down All The Things since I was literally four. Why do you tell yourself you’ll remember it? Do you believe that at the time?
Not OP, but I think I do this because I have an expectation for myself that I /should/ be able to remember things that other people can, and some small part of me still feels like if I expect myself to and don’t put in other supports then I just magically…will. I’ve noticed this in other areas of my life that are affected by executive dysfunction too, like “if I set my alarm to go off at the last possible minute I can wake up without being late, will it not take me half an hour to get out of bed?”
It doesn’t work, never has, and I’m trying to get better at accepting and accomadating for my own limitations.
like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time
waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there.
waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all
THIS IS REALLY HELPFUL!
I actually turn this into a game!
“How many chores can I do while the water is boiling for my tea?”
“Can I put away the dishes and wipe the counters before my lunch finishes reheating?”
“Can I sweep the floor AND change the laundry while the dogs are out back?”
You can totally do this! If you make it like a game, also, you will get better at it, and you can be like ‘yes, now I put away the dishes AND wiped out the sink before my water boiled, I am a level 2 Adult!’
It’s also helpful because it reminds you (me) how little time some of these things actually take. “Oh. I can do (X) in the 2 minutes it takes that to heat up in the microwave. I guess it’s not actually a huge overwhelming task that I need to psych myself up for and make Special Elaborate Preparations before I can do it. Huh.”
This is also a super good way to limit the amount of time you spend on something, if there are tasks you tend to over-do, or if like me you have a habit of spending too much time on one thing to avoid doing another thing. I used to help with a dog training class and one of the things we taught our students was in the beginning at least to only do training in short bursts… two or three minutes, high value treats and lots of praise, get the behavior you want once or twice and you’re DONE. People have a tendency when they keep at it for too long to really hammer the dog with the same behavior over and over and be really perfectionist about it and make the whole experience Not Fun At All for their dog, and if you do that over the long term that is super bad. So we’d tell people to only work on training with their dog during commercial breaks. That way there was a definite end time, the dog gets to chill and absorb what you’re teaching while you sit back down and watch your show, you leave them wanting more so they’re eager the next time you jump into it instead of being crabby and over the whole experience, and basically it’s just a win all around.
I can usually manage to clean up at least half of the mess from making food during the waiting parts of the food-making, which is really essential for those days when I’m not braining well enough to actually go back and finish cleaning up later. This way, I at least reduced the mess. I’ve also gotten into the habit of putting away each ingredient immediately after using it, for longer cooking projects, which is useful because it means there won’t be a big overwhelming pile of food to deal with later, and even if I never do any of the dishes at least food won’t be left out to spoil. The only pitfall is sometimes I accidentally engage autopilot and put away things I haven’t used yet and then I have to get them back out…. only on bad brain fog days though.
The other useful thing to do in waiting periods is minor exercise. Just warm-ups and light stretching, but if you’re like me and get bad body aches from sitting weird and not stretching enough, getting in the habit of doing those warm-ups and stretches while water boils or the microwave goes, is super helpful for pain reduction. You could also do a few sets of hand weights or bodyweight exercises in the longer gaps, if that’s your thing.
You could also train yourself to pay attention to your posture and breathing during these gaps. Basically, if you can turn it into the trigger for a healthy habit, like “I just put the kettle on = time to do The Thing”, it’s a good way to sort of trick yourself into self care that you usually forget to do.
executive dysfunction often makes you feel totally disempowered and out of control in your own life. i promise, it’s okay. you don’t have to do everything today. you don’t have to write the whole essay, i know that’s overwhelming. just open up a new google docs. you don’t have to cook the whole meal right now, just slice the bread and set it aside. take it one step at a time. if you have the energy to write one more sentence, to prep one more ingredient, go ahead! even if not, you’ve set yourself up for better times, you’ve done something instead of nothing, and you’ve set yourself a goal that you accomplished. great job!
Executive dysfunction is spending three hours telling yourself “I’m going to get up and do this activity that I want to do” but never actually getting up to do it because the scrolly-dash keeps microdosing you with dopamine.
Me when i postponed eating that ice cream that’s been sitting in my freezer for last 2 months. I wanted to eat it ever since the day 1 but it would require washing dishes for That One Perfect Spoon that i use all the time so it’s always in dishes. Also the couch is comfy. And i have to take the dog out soon so there’s no point in getting ice cream because i want to enjoy it, not get a brain freeze from gulping it down before going out. Then the next day i woke up too late and had to run to work. Then the next day i was too cold for an ice cream. Then the next day i was too invested in my youtube watch later list. Then the next day i forgot what i was going to do when i headed to the kitchen so i returned back to the living room and only remembered when i was sitting back on the sofa and i just didn’t want to stand up again. Then the next day i had a bone to pick with dad via text messages after which i felt sad and nauseous and that’s not a mood to eat an ice cream. Then i forgot about it for a week. Then one day i realized that it’s been 2 months.
I saw this tweet about how things don’t always “occur” to adhd people and I thought I could relate to it as well, although I’m autistic and not adhd.
For example - if I have a headache, it simply won’t occur to me to take pain meds. I know I have a headache. I want the pain to stop. I am aware of the existence of pain meds. But the idea never occurs to me to take them until someone else suggests it.
The example they gave in the tweet was that if someone says hello to them, it may not occur to them to say hello back and yep… I do that as well.
I just never realized that other people may not do these things.
This is called executive dysfunction and it’s very common for both adhd and autistic people! <3
I was under the impression that executive dysfunction was being unable to transition between tasks. Like that feeling when you’re trying to get up and make some food, but your brain won’t let you no matter how hard you try. Is that something different?
They are both forms of executive dysfunction! Executive dysfunction simply means one of your executive functions isn’t working. The executive functions are:
Emotional control
Task initiation
Working memory
Self-monitoring (interoception, something a lot of autistics struggle with)
Flexibility
Organization
Planning & time management
Self control
What you’re experiencing and what you already considered executive dysfunction are both issues with task initiation, and I think what you’re experiencing is also an issue with planning.
The reason ADHD and autism are so similar is that the executive functions are impacted; among other symptoms and traits, they are both executive functioning disorders. Which is why you experience this thing that a lot of ADHDers experience, and why ADHD and autism have such a high comorbidity rate.
I saw this tweet about how things don’t always “occur” to adhd people and I thought I could relate to it as well, although I’m autistic and not adhd.
For example - if I have a headache, it simply won’t occur to me to take pain meds. I know I have a headache. I want the pain to stop. I am aware of the existence of pain meds. But the idea never occurs to me to take them until someone else suggests it.
The example they gave in the tweet was that if someone says hello to them, it may not occur to them to say hello back and yep… I do that as well.
I just never realized that other people may not do these things.
This is called executive dysfunction and it’s very common for both adhd and autistic people! <3
I was under the impression that executive dysfunction was being unable to transition between tasks. Like that feeling when you’re trying to get up and make some food, but your brain won’t let you no matter how hard you try. Is that something different?
Inpsychologyandneuroscience,executive dysfunction, or executive function deficit, is a disruption to the efficacy of the executive functions, which is a group of cognitive processes that regulate, control, and manage other cognitive processes. Executive dysfunction can refer to both neurocognitive deficits and behavioural symptoms. It is implicated in numerous psychopathologiesandmental disorders, as well as short-term and long-term changes in non-clinical executive control.
Executive function (EF) is a broad term that refers to the cognitive processes that help us regulate, control and manage our thoughts and actions. It includes planning, working memory, attention, problem solving, verbal reasoning, inhibition, cognitive flexibility, initiation of actions and monitoring of actions.
Most people on the autism spectrum have some degree of impaired executive function. Because executive function is such a complex concept, it can be hard to understand how it impacts our lives in practical ways.
For me, it’s not so much an unwillingness to do things or being lazy or putting it off. It’s that I can’t make myself focus on them. Sometimes other things take precedence in the hierarchy of my mind. Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for this ephemeral thing that I can’t name. I will sometimes feel stuck in place, unable to move or think. In those instances, it’s like being mute but with my body. It’s a very hard thing to pinpoint. Sometimes, the thought forms in my head, and then it’s gone before I can act on it.
For me, it leads sometimes to chores not getting done, or to forgetting to go to events if I don’t set myself a reminder, or even doing things like reading or charging my computer or doing laundry.
executive dysfunction be like *wants to do something* *doesnt do it* *feels bad* *wants to do something* *doesnt do it* *feels bad* *wants to do something* *doesnt do it* *feels ba
I recently learnt that executive dysfunction can be broken down into two main categories: anxiety that your attempt won’t be satisfactory, or confusion about where to start or how to break it down into steps. As much as we feel bad about it, it’s extremely important to remember that it is NOT laziness and we in fact shouldn’t feel bad.
like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time
waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there.
waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all
THIS IS REALLY HELPFUL!
I actually turn this into a game!
“How many chores can I do while the water is boiling for my tea?”
“Can I put away the dishes and wipe the counters before my lunch finishes reheating?”
“Can I sweep the floor AND change the laundry while the dogs are out back?”
You can totally do this! If you make it like a game, also, you will get better at it, and you can be like ‘yes, now I put away the dishes AND wiped out the sink before my water boiled, I am a level 2 Adult!’
Game everything. Make it all into a minigame. Executive dysfunction trembles in the face of ‘how much laundry can I fold between chat replies?’
aka why tf am i procrastinating on The Thing (more like a flowchart, actually)
lots of people who have executive function difficulties worry about whether they’re procrastinating on a task out of laziness/simply wanting to be a jerk or mental struggles. this checklist might help you figure out which it is at any given time! (hint: it’s almost never laziness or being a jerk.) (obligatory disclaimer: this is just what works for me! something different might work better for you.)
1) do I honestly intendto start the task despite my lack of success?
yes: it’s a Brain Problem. next question
no: it’s shitty to say one thing & do another. better be honest with myself & anyone expecting me to do the task.
2) am I fed, watered, well-rested, medicated properly, etc?
yes:next question
no:guess what? this is the real next task
3) does the idea of starting the task make me feel scared or anxious?
yes: Anxiety Brain. identify what’s scaring me first.
no:next question
4) do I know how to start the task?
yes:next question
no:ADHD Brain. time to make an order of operations list.
5) do I have everything I need to start the task?
yes:next question
no:ADHD Brain lying to me about the steps again, dangit. first task is ‘gather the materials’.
6) why am i having a hard time switching from my current task to this new task?
i’m having fun doing what i’m doing: it’s okay to have fun doing a thing! if task is time-sensitive, go to next question.
i have to finish doing what i’m doing: might be ADHD brain. can I actually finish the current task or will I get trapped in a cycle? does this task really need to be finished?
the next task will be boring/boring-er than the current task: ADHD brain. re-think the next task. what would make it exciting? what am I looking forward to?
I might not have enough time to complete the task: ADHD brain wants to finish everything it starts. (if task is time-sensitive, go to next question)
i just want to make the person who asked me to do it angry: sounds like anxiety brain trying to punish itself, because I know I’ll be miserable if someone is angry at me. why do i think I deserve punishment?
no, I seriously want to piss them off: okay, i’m being a shithead
7) have I already procrastinated so badly that I now cannot finish the task in time?
yes: ADHD brain is probably caught in a guilt-perfection cycle. since I can’t have the task done on time, i don’t even want to start.
reality check: having part of a thing done is almost always better than none of a thing done. if I can get an extension, having part of it done will help me keep from stalling out until the extension deadline. i’ll feel better if I at least try to finish it.
no, there’s still a chance to finish on time: ADHD brain thinks that I have all the time in the world, but the truth is I don’t.
reality check: if i’m having fun doing what I’m doing, I can keep doing it, but I should probably set a timer & ask someone to check on me to make sure I start doing the task later today.
8) I’ve completed the checklist and still don’t know what’s wrong!
probably wasn’t honest enough with myself. take one more look.
if I’m still mystified, ask a friend to help me talk it out.
hope this helps some of you! YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU
(The full post with elaborate explanations can be found here.)
Being a responsible adult doesn’t have to mean doing things perfectly - it means doing what you realistically can. Can’t eat 7 fresh veggies and fruits a day? Buy some veggie juice or a smoothie and chug that. Can’t make a proper, healthy meal? Add some extra protein to your instant noodles. Can’t do the dishes? Buy some paper plates. Don’t worry about doing things “the right way”, just do what works.
It’s not cheating to do something the easy way. If there’s an easy or more manageable solution available, use it. Even if some people think it’s lazy. Don’t worry about that. Just focus on finding the methods of doing things which make life easier for you.
Fuck what you’re “supposed” to do. Yes, ideally you shouldn’t run the dishwasher twice, but if cleansing the dishes by hand is not an option and that’s the only way you can get clean dishes, do it anyways! When you’re in a really bad place mentally, fuck the rules. Do what you need to do to get shit done, even if it’s not how you’re supposed to do it.
Do stuff while you’re waiting to do other stuff. We spend a lot of time waiting, so spend the time you’d normally just waste getting some chores done. Collect the trash while your roommate is in the bathroom or wipe down the kitchen counters while you’re making coffee. You can even turn it into a game! How many dishes can you clean before the potatoes are boiling? How much trash can you collect and throw out before your load of laundry is done?
You don’t have to do everything at once. Don’t wait for the day where you’re up for cleaning the entire house cause then you’ll be waiting for ages. You can wipe down one counter and call it a day. You can put away a couple things and leave the rest. You can do one small chore and let that be it. You don’t have to choose between doing everything and doing nothing. Any progress is worthwhile.
Let go of the idea that something has to become a permanent habit to have any value. Doing a certain sport for a month is still healthy even if you then move on to something else. Exploring a new hobby for a while and then moving on to other stuff will always teach you something. What’s good for you today will not necessarily be what’s good for you tomorrow.
Don’t worry about the entire task. Just focus on the first step. Don’t worry about brushing your teeth - just get your toothbrush wet and put tooth paste on it. Don’t worry about writing the essay - just look at the assignment and open a document. Don’t worry about going to the store - just put on your coat and your shoes.Starting a task is a lot easier if you only focus on the step right in front of you.
Imagine that your body is a pet/animal you have to care for. Feed and hydrate yourself, keep yourself and your environment clean, make sure you don’t get under or overstimulated, allow yourself time to rest and relax, find ways to enrich your life (like socializing, media or hobbies) - and do your best to make sure you’re healthy and happy, even though you never actually signed up for being your own zookeeper.
Just because you can’t do it perfectly doesn’t mean you should stop trying.Packing lunch a couple times a week is better than never packing lunches. Journaling or making art once a month is better than never doing anything creative. Exercising every once in a while when you have the energy is better than never exercising. You don’t have to do something every single day for it to be important and helpful.
Put on a professional persona when it’s necessary. Try to separate the anxious and dysfunctional you from the Student You who’s sending that important email or the Client You who’s making that phone call or the Customer You who isn’t afraid to ask for help. It might feel like you’re performing a role, but to be honest, most of us do at times.
When you’re doing chores, act like you’re filming a tutorial. Narrate what you’re doing like someone’s watching. That might make it easier to maintain focus and to keep track of the various steps.
You don’t have to do anything perfectly.Wiping yourself off with some baby wipes beats not doing anything about your personal hygiene. Eating a protein bar beats not eating. Using mouthwash beats neglecting dental hygiene completely. Going for a quickwalk beats not moving. It doesn’t have to be perfect to count and make a difference.
Make something you know you have to do the trigger for you to start doing something else. Tell yourself “next time I get up to pee I’ll take out the trash” or “when I get up to get something to drink next I’ll make lunch.”If you HAVE to get up anyways, you might as well.
Assign yourself a deadline. Tell yourself “once this video is over, I’ll do the dishes” or “once this alarm rings, I’ll do my laundry.”
If you struggle to be compassionate towards yourself, try visualizing your future self as a separate person who you like and want to do favors for.Try to think of your future self as a friend who is separate from your current self and do what you can to make their life easier by doing things like preparing that lunch,doing those chores,taking that showerormaking fun plans. I know they’ll be grateful.
Make putting stuff back where it belongs so easy that you “might as well.” Organize your home so that placing stuff where it belongs becomes so easy that you might as well just place it there. For many people that means several laundry baskets,many trash cans andeasily accessible and very visible storage options.So if you keep finding things in annoying places, make sure they get an easily accessible home!
Look into why you can’t do something. Is something about the chores you’re struggling to do actually causing you sensory distress and is there something you can do to make it more comfortable? If you hate mint toothpaste, get one that tastes like bubble gum. If old food grosses you out, do the dishes with thick gloves on. If showering makes you feel bad about your body, shower with the lights off. The problem isn’t always about self discipline, and in those cases it’s worth looking into why you’re struggling so much to get certain chores done.
Take care of yourself in order to take care of others ( whether pets or people.) Outside motivation is necessary for many people who struggle with executive dysfunction. For many people getting out of bed is easier when you know someone else is relying on you being somewhat functional. So don’t be afraid to find the motivation to take care of yourself in wanting to take care of others.
Make keeping your place clean as easy as possible. Make sure there’s easy one step access to the things you need often. Make sure that the place where a thing is supposed to be is actually within reach of where you use the thing. Make sure everything has a an easily accessible place to go, even if that means several laundry baskets and several trash cans. Examine what’s messing up your place and find a home for it where you’re likely to actually place it on a regular basis.
Choose one very specific thing to work on - like the bathroom sink or the oven or your desk. If you suffer from executive dysfunction you’ll likely be distracted, but having one specific focus point you can keep returning to will mean that in between getting distracted, you can return to your chosen project and get some shit done.
When something feels overwhelming, tell yourself to “just show up” and that you “won’t have to stay the whole time if it’s horrible.” Cause odds are that once you’ve pushed past your initial mental block, you’re likely to stay and finish what you started.
If you really can’t do something, accept your limits and find a different method. Don’t keep trying to push through via willpower alone. If you need outside accountability to get your shit done, find someone who can hold you accountable. If you know you can’t remember the stuff you’re supposed to remember, make sure to always write things down. If you keep forgetting your meds, set a daily alarm.Don’t keep expecting yourself to be able to do things you always struggle with.
Make your chores into a game. Assign certain chores certain pointsand make a list of fun rewards you can have once you’ve earned a certain amount of points through doing chores.
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly. Any amount of effort is better than none, so on days where you can’t do something well, do it anyways! Any amount of progress beats not getting started.
Find a momentum and use it to do that thing you’ve been struggling to start doing. You can’t get yourself together to shower? Well, find something you CAN do - and once you’re already doing something, you might be able to channel said energy into showering.
Take it one step at a time. I know a shower sounds overwhelming, but can you take your clothes off? If yes, can you turn on the shower? If yes, can you stand under the stream?Look who just tricked themselves into doing the thing by breaking it down into manageable chunks!
Don’t just break a task into smaller steps - break it into steps so small you can’t possible get overwhelmed and fuck up. “Clean my room” is far too vague - but “set a timer and collect all the trash you can in 10 minutes” is actually manageable and so is “move all dirty dishes to the kitchen” or “remove and/or sort all clothes laying on the floor.”
Don’t worry about how most people do things - worry about what works for YOU. You constantly lose your key? Make ten copies. You overlook your post it notes? Put something with the important reminder on it in front of the door. Got laundry and trash all over the floor? Get more laundry baskets/trash cans.Coping with executive dysfunction is not about learning to do things the neurotypical way, it’s about finding strategies which actually work for you.
When you’re overwhelmed and struggling, find the easiest and fastest way to get rid of some of the distress. Eat if you’re hungry, sleep if you’re tired, pee if you have to, get that thing you’ve been postponing done if you can. The more stressors you can remove, the better - and it’s okay to start with the smaller ones!
Don’t worry about aesthetics. When you struggle with executive dysfunction, maintaining a picture perfect home is probably unrealistic. So drop that dream and focus on making your space practical and functional.Remove the doors of your kitchen cabinets and closets if that will actually make you put stuff away. Get a paper shredder and a mail sorting station if you got mail and advertisements everywhere. Buy all your socks in one color if you struggle to pair them. There are many ways to make your environment more functional. Explore them instead of just trying and failing to make your home look nice.
Get started on your next task before you take your break. Write that first sentence, make that first sketch, get the vacuum cleaner out of the closet or collect the dishes for washing and THEN have your break. Many people with executive dysfunction struggle to start tasks, so for most of us it’s easier to continue something we’ve already started working on than to begin from scratch.
This post doesn’t contain links to many professional resources - it’s a list of coping tips from people who are mentally ill/disabled themselves and who all decided to share what has worked for them here on tumblr. In the last 7 months I have been sharing content created for and by mentally ill/disabled people on this blog - and to celebrate reaching 5000 followers, I have decided to collect all the best coping tips I’ve come across in one easily accessible place. Enjoy!
If you are like me with the anxiety and the depression and the executive dysfunction
- DON’T say to yourself “I need to take a shower”
-showering is a long multistage process that requires you to be vulnerable (naked, wet, blots out sound, what if someone calls/rings the doorbell, etc)
-INSTEAD say to yourself “I’m just gonna go turn on the water right quick”
-small one step task checked off your list
-your anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and it will be none the wiser that you have tricked it into BEGINNING the shower process
-once the water is running you are already there in the bathroom with the water running so you might as well finish the job
NOTE that this trick works for like. Fucking everything.
-Don’t “work on your WIP”– just open the document
-don’t “make the scary phone call” – just pull up the number in your contacts
-don’t “make lunch” – just pull out a loaf of bread
-don’t “do the dishes” – just open the dishwasher. Literally just open it
Remember ur anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and that you CAN therefore TRICK it into being functional
also bonus tip: for those times when u just need to lie on the floor and be a worthless lump of anxiety-ridden garbage for a few hours, download Duolingo and pick a language. Are you going to be fluent in a week? No. But it’s easy to focus on and that way when you’ve been down there for half a day and your shitty fukken brain is trying to convince you you’re garbage because it KEPT you there, you can counter with “excuse you I just spent the last four hours TEACHING MYSELF A FOREIGN LANGUAGE you punk ass bitch.”
Good luck out there kids I believe in u
Motivation and initiation energy are two of the hardest fucking things. Inertia is challenging to overcome. This is GREAT advice.
May I also add— if you can do the first step commit to 5-10min. At the end of those 5-10min you may be shocked to discover you can keep going— momentum bitches. And, if you can’t, it’s a good indication that rest is needed more than whatever task you’re trying to accomplish.
I had a literal emotional breakdown when I got my diagnosis. It was quite literally life changing for me.
Before diagnosis?
I was plagued with a feeling of brokenness — why does it take me 10x longer to learn concepts than it takes my peers, even when I’m attempting to apply all the same strategies? Why is it so dang hard for me to commit to a single project, and why do I spend weeks obsessing over a project only to suddenly lose interest and never touch it again? Why do I have such a visceral reaction to the smallest, friendliest amount of criticism? Why does that person keep making that tiny paper noise while I’m trying to complete my exam — wait, what was the question asking? Let me re-read itAGAIN.
After diagnosis?
Validation! Holy cow is the validation game changing. I no longer had to blame myself for just not trying hard enough. I was trying plenty hard; however, the tools and strategies that work for neurotypical brains don’t necessarily work for my brain! And that’s perfectly okay. As well, I discovered that my anxiety and depression were symptoms, and as I treated my ADHD and developed coping mechanisms around it, I no longer wanted to die.
Of course, the armchair psychiatrists among my friends and family do sometimes try and chime in to tell me that Adderall is bad(derall), and that’s certainly infuriating; however, f*ck em. I don’t care what they think – they’re clearly not thinking rationally if they see me taking Adderall carefully as prescribed (which they see as me ”basically doing meth” – a deeply misguided and inaccurate view) as worse than quite literally trying to kill myself, and they don’t deserve to have a say – it’s my body and my mind, so I can do what I want.
So… yeah. I’m a big advocate for getting assessed for ADHD if you think you may have it. Does a diagnosis mean you have to medicate? Absolutely not. I prefer not to medicate unless it’s absolutely necessary – my Adderall crash is always draining, so I am nevermotivated to abuse the medication. But when I do take it? All of the internal thought-clutter calms to a hush, the world comes to me more clearly, I am able to find a calm within myself that I never before knew existed, and I can just be. Like, I can just think without interruption. Wow! Clarity of mind is the most incredible feeling. It’s not even a high. It’s just… absence of chaos.
