#original tumblr
Tony: Do you want to explain this text I got last night?
Bucky: Err, yeah, sorry. That was autocorrect.
Tony:Autocorrect wrote “your so hot step on me”?
Bucky:Yeah, it’s supposed to say “you’re”.
Tony:…
Steve: Tony told me that he got Bucky a box of toys for his birthday… I don’t really understand why he’d get a grown adult toys tho.
Clint: I’m going to tell him.
Sam: Don’t you dare.
Bucky:Knock knock.
Tony:Who’s there?
Bucky:Where when.
Tony:Where when who?
Bucky:My place, tomorrow, you and me.
Clint:Damn, that’s smooth.
Tony: [gives some of his coffee to Steve]
[later]
Steve: Buck, I think Tony wants me to propose.
Bucky: And why is that, Punk?
Steve: He gave me some of his coffee.
Bucky: RIGHT LET’S GO BUY THAT RING!
Bucky: Doll, can you buy this for me?
Tony: Of course.
Clint: Hey! You can’t just buy things for him!
Tony: I’m his husband. I can buy him whatever I want to.
Clint: But we’re playing Monopoly!
Natasha: [holding mistletoe over Steve and Tony’s heads]
Natasha: Oh look. You’re standing under mistletoe, that means you have to kiss.
Kitty:[meow]
Thor: That’s a great plan. I would have never thought of that.
Bucky: I-I-I’m sorry. C-Can he actually speak cat, or is he just messing with us?
Tony: Knowing him, it may very well be both.
Tony: [extremely drunk, starts colouring Steve’s in with a highlighter]
Steve: Erm… What are you doing?
Tony: Highlighting you.
Steve: Yes, I see that… Why?
Tony: Cuz you’re important.
Tony: If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one.
Steve: Let’s have a coffee break for fifteen.
[15 minutes later]
Steve: I meant fifteen minutes. Tony please don’t drink fifteen coffees.
Tony: [vibrating slightly] You should have said that earlier!
Bucky:How did you even find all of this shit?
Tony:Ebay.
Tony: Hostage or not, sometimes it’s just nice to be held
Steve: …do you need a hug?
Bucky: Did it hurt?
Tony: [sighs] When I fell from heav-
Bucky: When you fell from the vending machine?
Tony: …
Bucky: ‘Cause you’re a snack.
