#incorrect tony
Quill: Look, I don’t think-
Tony: Oh don’t worry, I’m very much aware.
Quill: …Are you always such an ass?
Tony: No, you just bring out the best in me.
Peter: Is Mr Barnes always this…. Murderous? Or did something happen?
Sam: I mean, he’s not really a sunshine and smiles kinda person, but he’s definitely on the war path today. Apparently some idiot made Stark sad.
Fury: [to the Avengers] Did none of you, think this was a bad idea?!
Tony: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway.
Tony: I HAVE A PLAN!
Bruce: I’m already terrified.
Loki: Something’s wrong. Every time I’m near Anthony, my stomach twists, and I have heart palpations. I think he’s trying to poison me.
Thor: No, those are feelings.
Loki:They’re distracting, make them stop.
Steve: Natasha and Sam are drunk and trying to play matchmaker with us again… Should I remind them that we’re married?
Tony: No, it’s more fun this way.
Bucky: Be realistic and relax.
Tony: It’s either be realistic or relax. I can’t multitask today.
Tony: Why be sad when you can be dad?
Tony: Do you want to explain this text I got last night?
Bucky: Err, yeah, sorry. That was autocorrect.
Tony:Autocorrect wrote “your so hot step on me”?
Bucky:Yeah, it’s supposed to say “you’re”.
Tony:…
Bucky:Knock knock.
Tony:Who’s there?
Bucky:Where when.
Tony:Where when who?
Bucky:My place, tomorrow, you and me.
Clint:Damn, that’s smooth.
Tony: Howard didn’t raise no quitter.
Tony: Well, actually, Howard didn’t raise me at all.
Tony: Which is why I’m quitting.
Tony: [gives some of his coffee to Steve]
[later]
Steve: Buck, I think Tony wants me to propose.
Bucky: And why is that, Punk?
Steve: He gave me some of his coffee.
Bucky: RIGHT LET’S GO BUY THAT RING!
Bucky: Doll, can you buy this for me?
Tony: Of course.
Clint: Hey! You can’t just buy things for him!
Tony: I’m his husband. I can buy him whatever I want to.
Clint: But we’re playing Monopoly!
Kitty:[meow]
Thor: That’s a great plan. I would have never thought of that.
Bucky: I-I-I’m sorry. C-Can he actually speak cat, or is he just messing with us?
Tony: Knowing him, it may very well be both.
Tony: [extremely drunk, starts colouring Steve’s in with a highlighter]
Steve: Erm… What are you doing?
Tony: Highlighting you.
Steve: Yes, I see that… Why?
Tony: Cuz you’re important.
Bucky: Are you alright?
[Machine gun bullets hit around them, causing both of them to duck]
Tony:Dandy.
Tony: If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one.
Steve: Let’s have a coffee break for fifteen.
[15 minutes later]
Steve: I meant fifteen minutes. Tony please don’t drink fifteen coffees.
Tony: [vibrating slightly] You should have said that earlier!
Loki: I’ll kill you.
Tony: At least buy me a drink first.
Steve: Maybe you made a mistake.
Tony: I don’t get facts wrong! It’s everything else I screw up.
