#ownyourshit

How do you cheat life? You focus on what you don’t have, instead of what you can give.

We’re hard-wired, even before birth, to create something bigger than who we are.

We need to be part of something that gives us a sense of belonging or significance.

Anything that will convince us that our existence is not inconsequential inspires us to invest our time and energy in its pursuit.

Time and energy is simply life.

Both are limited in supply, but so abundant, that we take it for granted until it is taken away without notice, by which time it’s too late to appreciate it.

Living with conviction and loving with sincerity is only possible when we have gratitude for who we are and what we are capable of creating in the lives of those around us.

Sadly, too often we hide behind masks and facades to protect ourselves from being hurt. That’s how we create the self-fulfilling prophecies that hurt us the most.

When we interact with those close to us from behind our masks, we not only deny them the true beauty of who we are, we also deny ourselves the beauty of their responses to the side of us that they otherwise would not have experienced.

In the same way, we deny ourselves the side of them that we believe to be true, but that they don’t feel safe enough to reveal to us.

And all this life is wasted out of fear of being true to ourselves because we fear being rejected or ridiculed.

In other words, we have yet to accept ourselves, but we hold others accountable for accepting us first.

That’s how conviction is abandoned, and love is lost.

#authenticity #conviction #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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Announcement:

The last two copies of Own Your Shit that I have in stock will be the last of the paperbacks that will be available for sale in SA, with the only other sale copy available at Bookcirclecapital in Melville.

I will be replacing it with the revised edition titled Own Your Life. The image below is a concept for the cover design that I am working on. More details about the release date will follow soon.

Copies of Own Your Shit will continue to be available via Amazon, Kindle, and Book Depository for those that prefer this title.

Own Your Life will carry the same message, but will be updated to provide further clarity and ease of reference based on reader feedback.

Please let me know if a smaller format (e.g. A6 instead of the current A5 format) will be more suitable, or a size between those two? Or should I just keep it with the current size? I also hope to include more space for personal notes and introspection throughout the book.

#authorsofinstagram #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #zaidismail (at The Egosystem)
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If you find yourself among people who constantly demand that you give without receiving, or love without expressing affection in return, guard your soul.

As much as we wish to fill the cups of others with goodness in this world, we must not deplete our own in the process.

By indulging such selfishness from others, you enable and encourage them to continue denying themselves the same peace that is elusive to you.

When we focus on how the bad behaviour of others is harming themselves, rather than only focusing on how it harms us, we take a huge step closer to breaking the cycle of harm instead of just challenging the behaviour.

The same way in which we’d love for someone to correct us when we don’t realise that we’re wrong because we don’t want to deliberately harm others, we must consider that someone behaving badly may not realise the impact of their actions.

But, unless we’re connected with true gratitude about who we are, we’ll feel attacked long before we try to understand the struggle of others.

Focus on building yourself up, so that you may be able to build up those around you.

If everyone is going to wait for everyone else to make the first gesture, we’ll all sit back believing we’re victims of each other, while not realising that we’re victims of our own self-worth.

#selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #abusiverelationships #badmarriage #selfishlove #lifecoaching #zaidismail (at The Egosystem)
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The belief that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger is a lie.

Yes, it may prepare us for greater trials and opportunities, but we also grow impatient or intolerant if we repeatedly faced with the same or similar challenge.

Life begins to feel stagnant and suffocating of we find ourselves faced with the same problems every day, every week, every month, every year.

That’s how we grow intolerant towards the challenges that once promised to make us stronger.

Our innate need as human beings is to feel like we are of positive consequence to the outcomes of our lives, and of the lives of those we care about.

Facing the same problems every day goes against that need. That’s why we grow impatient and intolerant.

Recognising these patterns will allow you to change it instead of growing brittle and angry about life.

Emotional mindfulness is at the core of it.

Peace is possible. But first, you need to own your shit. And you can’t own it if you’re not aware of it.

Get your copy of Own Your Shit now.

If you’re in SA, you can order your copy via zaidismail.com for delivery to your door.

International readers can get a copy from Amazon or Book Depository worldwide.

#hope #life #ownyourlife #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourshit #whatdoesntkillyou #whatdoesntkillus #peace #mindfulness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself (at The Egosystem)
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What we believe is true about ourselves is what we are capable of offering to others.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

You cannot give what you don’t have.

The day you realise this is the day you’ll see the fears and weaknesses that drives others to behave badly towards you.

It was never about you.

It’s always about reflecting who they are.

If you lack self respect, it will be difficult to respect others.

If you don’t appreciate what you have, you won’t express gratitude towards others.

If you are dishonest with yourself about who you truly are, you’ll struggle to trust the sincerity of others.

And so it continues.

The way we see ourselves is what informs our behaviour and interactions with the world.

The more threatened we feel, the more aggressive we will be.

The next time you see someone behaving badly, don’t judge them harshly, understand what they’re saying about how they value themselves, or how valued they feel by you.

Then, respond to their underlying vulnerability in a reassuring way, rather than always reacting to their bad behaviour.

Break the cycle.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #integrity #introspection #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery (at The Egosystem)
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Failure only threatens is if we feel defined by the outcome of our efforts in trying to achieve our goals.

Sometimes those goals are small things that influence the daily quality of our lives, and sometimes it’s big things that shape our future.

The source of fearing failure is in our need to be respected by those around us.

The only time we will be disrespected or diminished when we fail at something is when we surround ourselves with those who themselves are defined by how others see them.

In such environments, mediocrity and tradition will be sacred. Playing it safe will be considered responsible. And being risk averse will be considered maturity.

If the life that you seek is one without failure, without change, and without discovering who you truly are, then such environments are perfect for you.

But, as humans, we are restless in spirit, and adventurous in nature. We are driven by knowing that we left our mark and we improved the state of the world in the short time that we were here.

Mediocrity, conformance, and restraint therefore goes against our nature.

When we fight our nature from fear of exclusion or rejection, it’s only a matter of time before our health suffers, and our spirits will be dulled.

That’s how dreams are lost and hope is abandoned.

You owe it to yourself, and the next generation, to be true to the value that you are capable of creating in this world beyond just maintaining the status quo.

Live inspired.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #motivation #optimism #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #lifegoals (at The Egosystem)
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We often discard good advice because we don’t like the source.

Sometimes it’s because we don’t want to appear weak in front of them, and other times it’s because we are trying to save face after having treated them badly.

Emotional maturity is achieved when we are willing to learn from our enemies and loved ones alike.

It’s achieved when we are more focused on growth, than we are on how we may appear to others.

Emotional maturity is key to living with authenticity, and serving with conviction.

But, emotional maturity is not something that you can pursue directly. It is an outcome.

What we need to pursue directly is connecting with the gratitude of who we are, while seeking understanding of why they are who they are.

We must seek to understand the value of every good quality, positive trait, and also every flaw, while embracing how each of these contribute towards making up the whole of who we are as a human being.

Emotional maturity and quality of life, and relationships, follow from there.

Any other approach is not sustainable, because every other approach will be dependent on how others treat us, before we will be able to show up as our best selves in that moment.

Own Your Life. If not, someone else will.

#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #emotionalmaturity #eq (at The Egosystem)
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There’s a difference between being a victim in the moment, versus holding onto the victim mindset long after the moment has passed.

We hold on to the victim mindset when we need others to recognise our struggle, or to acknowledge what we’re having to overcome or deal with.

The only reason this becomes necessary is because we feel unappreciated for the most part.

More than this, we also believe that if we don’t have the victim card to play, we will have no excuse when we fall short of the expectations of others.

The victim mindset is therefore a result of us believing that we’re not worthy in our own right, that’s why we need to give others something to appreciate about who we are and why we are that way.

This is a classic example of a self-defeating behaviour.

In addition to all this, when we’re in victim mode, we place demands on others to compensate for our shortcomings, resulting in strained relationships because they become responsible for how we feel about ourselves, while also having to take up the slack that we leave behind because of how exhausting the victim mindset can be.

You owe it to yourself to rise above the impact of your last experience. Waiting for justice or retribution, or even an apology only results in you placing your life on hold, and most often has zero impact on the one who treated you badly.

Don’t give them power beyond the event. If you do, you’re feeding the very cycle of abuse or bad behaviour that you feel victim to.

#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #selfloathing #selfharm (at The Egosystem)
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The next time you find yourself having a disagreement with someone, consider if the way in which you conduct yourself is to demand that they show you due respect or consideration, or are you trying to establish understanding.

When we feel taken for granted or invisible in something that is important to us, we’re more likely to become defensive, aggressive, or passive aggressive in our efforts to get our point across.

If we’re not aware of our need for significance, we will go in search of significance in almost every setting.

This is how we end up yelling at cashiers, losing ourselves to road rage, and being argumentative with co-workers, as just a few examples.

Understanding why we feel insignificant is the first step towards breaking that cycle.

Understanding why those who are significant to us are not treating us with the significance that we need is the second step.

And the third step towards breaking this cycle of rage or bitterness at the world is to understand why we need such validation to feel significant before treating others in a way that is true to who we are, rather than being driven by the anger or disappointment that we feel.

Emotional mindfulness is core to the above, and having a healthy self-worth is what makes it possible to pace ourselves in our efforts towards creating the understanding and establishing the bonds that we believe will improve the quality of our relationships.

It always starts with you.

If you need help to understand what drives you to be less than who you want to be, reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183, and let’s get the conversation started.

#selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #compassion #sincerity #authenticity #lifecoaching #zaidismail (at The Egosystem)
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