#lifegoals
I AM a #boss #bosslady #iknowmyworth #naturalwomen #naturalbeauty #naturalhair #fashion #urban #stlye #blue #lipstick #makeup #mac #fauxfur #givingface #redhair #curlyhair #redcurls #plussizemodel #model #actress #bonnie #mylife #actorslife #modellife #gorgeous #beautiful #lifegoals #sexy #sexybosslady #goodatwhatido #talent #igotskills #thisismylife (at East Orlando)
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Some beautiful stones that Jake (@hethkar) and I found at The Dollar Store back in May. And with this photo, I’ve finally gotten up to date on all the photos We took when my boys were Home with me for Our 2 weeks Together back in May. Lol.
Just in time for them to arrive Home again tomorrow for the week Together. Since than, I have been practicing how to update all my Socials etc more as they happen instead of trying to remember everything “in bulk” and then getting overwhelmed and than getting angry and depressed with myself when I cannot remember all the details. ☺
#family #familytime #familyfun #homelife #longdistancerelationships #relationships #soulmates #love #loveofmylife #inspirations #inspirationalstones #goals #lifegoals #stressmanagement
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I love my job, do you know why? It’s because I get to play dress up all the time! Haha. I always told my mom that I would have a job that lets me dress up, now I’m making a career out of it!! #lifegoals #kimono #kimonotop #handmade #creepygirl
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When I was growing up, before I realized I wanted to do comics, my dream job was to work in a cubicle. My dreams… were not very lofty
Hit the link for a bonus panel: https://cuek.co/723
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How do you cheat life? You focus on what you don’t have, instead of what you can give.
We’re hard-wired, even before birth, to create something bigger than who we are.
We need to be part of something that gives us a sense of belonging or significance.
Anything that will convince us that our existence is not inconsequential inspires us to invest our time and energy in its pursuit.
Time and energy is simply life.
Both are limited in supply, but so abundant, that we take it for granted until it is taken away without notice, by which time it’s too late to appreciate it.
Living with conviction and loving with sincerity is only possible when we have gratitude for who we are and what we are capable of creating in the lives of those around us.
Sadly, too often we hide behind masks and facades to protect ourselves from being hurt. That’s how we create the self-fulfilling prophecies that hurt us the most.
When we interact with those close to us from behind our masks, we not only deny them the true beauty of who we are, we also deny ourselves the beauty of their responses to the side of us that they otherwise would not have experienced.
In the same way, we deny ourselves the side of them that we believe to be true, but that they don’t feel safe enough to reveal to us.
And all this life is wasted out of fear of being true to ourselves because we fear being rejected or ridiculed.
In other words, we have yet to accept ourselves, but we hold others accountable for accepting us first.
That’s how conviction is abandoned, and love is lost.
#authenticity #conviction #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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While we chase the big question about the purpose of life, we lose sight of the life that we waste daily as we go about serving some purpose or the other without realising it.
That’s the thing about being distracted from the present moment.
We’re so concerned about the future, and often still processing the past, that we lose the present.
Popcorn wisdom aside, we must connect with the reality of what purpose is driving our actions in this very moment.
However, we often confuse long term goals with purpose.
Purpose is not something that has a finite end. Nor is it something that is tangible or measurable on its own.
It’s a higher calling. Something that inspired us to want to achieve goals that serve that purpose, and not a goal in itself.
There is only ever a single purpose in life, from which all other purposes are spawned.
That is, the need to be of positive consequence to those around us, and to the world at large.
We often behave badly when we feel like the fulfilment of that need is under threat. But we’re so focused on complying with expectations, our own and others, that we lose sight of why we feel overwhelmed, taken for granted, abused, or even invisible.
Reconnect with purpose and life becomes more fulfilling without the conscious effort of making it so.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose (at The Egosystem)
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Fear sets in when we take our past experiences and project it on our future.
That means that we have more trust in the outcomes of the past, than we do about our ability to shape our future.
It also means that when we find it difficult to establish or maintain trust in a relationship, it’s because one or both of the people involved are afraid of making themselves vulnerable to what they’ve experienced before.
That’s why so many hold on to the past.
It gives us a sense of certainty or safety, while seemingly protecting us from experiencing the same pain in the future.
But, that assumes that who we were back then, is still who we are now. That assumption is incorrect.
Every experience changes us, whether willingly or unwillingly, consciously or subconsciously. Change is unavoidable.
What does faith have to do with it all?
The irony is that faith is there all along.
Faith is never blind.
What we see as the probable outcomes of the future is in fact faith. Faith is always based on evidence that we gather from the past.
The question is, are we gathering evidence about how often we failed, or are we gathering evidence of how often we persevered beyond those failures?
When you connect with that realisation, you’ll be able to consciously shift your investment of faith from assuming the worst about the future, to realising that you have it within you to influence how that future shapes up.
Own your life.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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Does being childish mean you’re immature?
Does being mature mean that you must give up your youthful playfulness?
Does being responsible mean that you can’t be lighthearted about serious issues?
The labels and expectations that we adopt for ourselves are more about how we want to be seen, rather than what others expect of us.
When we lose sight of these choices that we’ve made, we blame society for the weight of our lives.
Our perception of who we are is the root of the joy or torment that we experience in our lives.
It is also the root of whether we grow old before our time, or do we remain young until the day we die.
Sometimes we lose ourselves to duty and servitude because we feel so intensely responsible for doing our part, or because we believe that we must take up the slack that others leave behind while they’re enjoying their life.
How we feel about doing it is more important than whether that is true, because if we feel burdened, we’ll experience the heaviness of responsibility.
But if we connect with the value that we want to create through our service of others, we’ll feel the joy of fulfilment in connecting with that value, rather than focusing on whether we’re appreciated or not.
That is the beginning of learning to appreciate ourselves before we expect others to make us feel worthy.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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When we transact with life, we expect to get back what we give.
We also expect to receive, in a very specific shape and form, the good that we need from others in exchange for the good that we did for them.
When we expect things to come back to us in a specific way, all the good that doesn’t match our expectations will be ignored, taken for granted, or even rejected without us realising that we’re destroying the very good that we’re praying for.
Like a drop of water that causes a ripple that meets other ripples along its way and gains momentum.
The drop of water had no idea that what it started could turn into a wave. It did not set out to start a wave, nor did it plan to meet other ripples along the way to form the wave that changed the shoreline.
It was just true to its nature, and it’s that nature that inspired or spawned an impact greater than it ever thought possible.
We’re drops of water in the ocean of humanity.
When we own our contribution towards creating good in our lives, its impact is felt for generations to come, and by every life touched by every generation that is spawned from our lineage.
Sadly, the same is true for the harm that we cause. Until someone steps up and decides to start that ripple of positive change.
Own your life. Don’t transact with it. Don’t hold back because you’re waiting for the perfect moment, or the perfect partner.
Be true to yourself, and create space for others to be true to themselves.
Break the cycle that weighs you down. Humanity will be all the better for it.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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Contrary to meme wisdom, it is impossible to live without expectations from others.
Not only is it impossible, but without expectations, much of life’s sweetness is lost.
Trusting our partners or significant others to fulfill the expectations that we have of them cements the bond of trust in our relationship with them, and vice versa.
Failed expectations feel like betrayal because expectations, by definition, carry with them a sense of entitlement to being treated a certain way by those closest to us.
When we become distracted by that feeling of betrayal, we become defensive or aggressive in demanding what we need, rather than seeking to understand why we’re not getting it.
When we focus on what we have a right to expect from others, we become defined by how they honour those expectations. That’s how we risk losing ourselves to such relationships.
When expectations fail, focus on hope instead.
Hope is what creates opportunities for us to be the best that we can be, while creating space for others to discover how to be their best as well.
Never lose hope. And always be mindful of the expectations that you have.
It will save your sanity, if not your soul.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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On the face of it, this is an obvious and common truth that we all experience at some point.
It’s easy to recognise when someone is judging us based on a single moment, or a single mistake from a long time ago.
Their reason for holding on to such experiences is most often more about them wanting to protect themselves from going through it again, than it is about assuming that we’re incapable of being better.
But, there’s a more sinister side to this.
How many of us judge ourselves harshly because of that one mistake that we made a long time ago?
Do you still see yourself through your teenage eyes?
Or maybe you see yourself through the eyes of the one who first betrayed your love?
Perhaps you even still see yourself through the eyes of the family or the community that rejected you?
Whichever is true, when you hold on to being defined by a moment from your past, not only do you convince yourself that you are incapable of being better than that, but you also actively prevent yourself from growing from the experience.
There is no shortage of people who would see fit to judge us, and the ultimate judgement of our lives will come in due course.
Why put your life on hold over thinking either one, instead of living your best life?
#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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The gravity of life is often a distraction from living it.
So obsessed do we become with the future, or needing retribution for the past, that we lose the present moment.
But this is a philosophy that many know, yet few understand.
What we take from the past, determines whether we live in the present moment with hope and joy, or in fear of the future.
So deeply ingrained is this fear that those who do not embrace it are shunned as being irresponsible, or out of touch.
Connecting with the reality of your contribution towards your past, offers you insights into how to maximise the value of the present, leaving no room for fear of the future.
Because the future then becomes a beautiful surprise, offering new opportunities to take even more from each moment that it offers.
Lose yourself to judging yourself or others about what has already passed, and the future will offer nothing more than the fear of loss, or the absence of peace.
Choose wisely what you take from your past, and the present becomes the gift with which to create a beautiful future.
Live. Don’t just exist. And definitely don’t stop at surviving.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #motivation #optimism #lifegoals (at The Egosystem)
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Failure only threatens is if we feel defined by the outcome of our efforts in trying to achieve our goals.
Sometimes those goals are small things that influence the daily quality of our lives, and sometimes it’s big things that shape our future.
The source of fearing failure is in our need to be respected by those around us.
The only time we will be disrespected or diminished when we fail at something is when we surround ourselves with those who themselves are defined by how others see them.
In such environments, mediocrity and tradition will be sacred. Playing it safe will be considered responsible. And being risk averse will be considered maturity.
If the life that you seek is one without failure, without change, and without discovering who you truly are, then such environments are perfect for you.
But, as humans, we are restless in spirit, and adventurous in nature. We are driven by knowing that we left our mark and we improved the state of the world in the short time that we were here.
Mediocrity, conformance, and restraint therefore goes against our nature.
When we fight our nature from fear of exclusion or rejection, it’s only a matter of time before our health suffers, and our spirits will be dulled.
That’s how dreams are lost and hope is abandoned.
You owe it to yourself, and the next generation, to be true to the value that you are capable of creating in this world beyond just maintaining the status quo.
Live inspired.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #motivation #optimism #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #lifegoals (at The Egosystem)
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Arrogance is the belief that we’re better…humility visits us when we realise that we’re not.
The root of arrogance is insecurity, but that’s a discussion for another day.
If we’re sincere about wanting to benefit others or wanting to create good for those around us, when we get it wrong and we’re corrected, we’ll appreciate it.
In such cases, we’ll eat gratitude pie, not humble pie, right?
So, when it feels like we’ve been made to eat humble pie, we need to consider what our intention was behind what we did before we got things wrong.
On the surface, our intentions always appear noble.
But it’s that appearance of nobility that distracts is from sincerity.
When connecting with or checking your intention, be sure to dig deeper than what you experienced in that moment.
It’s only when we connect with our intention, our true intention, that we’ll be able to recognise how others are not deliberately malicious or selfish in their actions.
Instead, it will allow us to connect with empathy to the emotional needs that they have.
That’s how we break cycles of unhealthy behaviours.
Perhaps if we eat more humble pie we’ll discover gratitude?
#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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Sometimes, we’re so focused on reacting to the disrespect that we receive from others that we don’t realise how we give up our self-respect in the process.
If we continue in reaction mode for long enough, we’ll find ourselves not only returning the favour by treating them the way that they treat us, but we’ll also find ourselves blaming them for our response.
That’s when we go beyond losing our self-respect and we begin losing ourselves completely.
Strangely though, we’re unlikely to do this with everyone.
We’ll often encounter total strangers or mere acquaintances who will treat us badly, but we’ll ignore them and continue focusing on what is important to us.
Therefore, the answer lies in how much significance we place in those relationships to which we lose ourselves.
The more significant that we want to be in their lives, the more we’ll convince ourselves about their significance in ours. That’s how we become emotionally invested in being treated with respect by them.
The less respect we receive, the more intense our emotional experience, resulting in us fighting fire with fire. In other words, giving them a taste of their own medicine.
That’s when respect becomes optional. When we convince ourselves that treating others the way that they treat us is in fact justice, when the truth is that it is returning their bitterness with our bitterness towards them.
That’s how we give up the good of who we are.
The greatest tragedy in all of this is that when we lose ourselves, we also lose sight of the struggles, or the low self-esteem that they’re experiencing which causes them to treat us badly.
Instead of breaking that cycle, we feed it, and in the process, harm ourselves as much as we believed they were harming us.
When respect becomes optional based on how we’re treated by others, we give them the power to define how we feel about ourselves.
To whom are you giving your power today?
#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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I’ve often advised someone about something that I truly believed them to be capable of achieving, and the response I received was, “Not everyone is like you!”
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Sadly, too many think that they can’t, and then blame the world for the state in which they find themselves.
But why would someone willingly put themselves down, or sell themselves short?
Did I hear you say fear of failure? No. That’s what we see, and often what they feel on the surface.
Dig a little deeper and you’ll realise that failure is such a threat because it threatens to reduce our significance among those who are important to us.
It’s the threat of insignificance through being incompetent or unsuccessful that fills us with the fear of failure.
But, we must always remember that fear is only the response to what we’re assuming is the probable outcome of our efforts.
In other words, when we’re convinced that we won’t be able to accomplish something, or we have doubts about achieving it, the assumptions that we’ve made is what we’re focused on. Hence the feeling of dread or fear when we contemplate the future outcome.
Hence the fear of failure.
The important question to consider is therefore not if we’re capable of achieving that goal, but rather why is our feeling of significance as a person defined by our level of success?
And before you say it’s because people judge you as a failure if you don’t accomplish things the way you’re expected to, the next question you should be asking is why does the judgement of others define your self-worth more than your opinion of yourself?
People’s opinions will only weigh you down if you give them permission to do so.
Talking about permission, when was the last time you gave yourself permission to learn from your failures instead of judging yourself for failing?
#optimisticquotes #mentalhealth #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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The logic of this is quite obvious, yet we do it, don’t we?
Sometimes we find it difficult to apologise because we’re afraid that others will think less of us. It feels like a weakness. So we protect ourselves from appearing weak.
At other times, we find it difficult to apologise because we feel unappreciated. So our offensive behaviour was our way of getting justice for having been treated badly or taken for granted.
The same reasons that would drive our resistance to admitting fault is what drives others to avoid doing right by us.
Problems arise when we lose sight of why we expect that much more from them, or worse, why we may be holding them to a standard that is unfair to who they are.
Sometimes we grow tired of being taken for granted at home, so we lash out at hints of being taken for granted at work. And vice versa.
Similarly, when our parents may have treated us as insignificant, we end up lashing out at our partners because we fear growing insignificant with them as well.
That’s how we do the right thing for the wrong reasons. Or why we find it difficult to do the right thing when we know better.
We complicate life when we lose sight of what we’re dealing with in the moment because we don’t realise that we’re waiting for justice about something that is long gone and forgotten, or unrelated to who we’re with now. .
Invest in your past, or invest in your present. The choice you make is what determines what you’re investing in your future.
Emotional mindfulness is key to creating a fulfilled life.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose (at The Egosystem)
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The irony of helping others out of the dark spaces in their lives is that when they emerge, they’re often inclined to avoid you because you remind them of a time when they were weak.
When we believe that such weakness is deplorable, we remain weak.
When we view ourselves through the lens of weak versus strong, good versus bad, and so on, we are judging ourselves and others, rather than trying to understand what got us into such states.
There is a time and a place for judgement. But that time and place is only when we need to stop an oppression from taking place.
Beyond that moment, we must focus on understanding the human struggle behind that behaviour, or else we diminish the struggle of the one who behaved badly, giving them ever more reason to continue behaving badly. Or worse.
Gratitude for our moments of weakness is not possible if we still carry a sense of shame about our weakened state.
It’s one thing to regret what we did and to put in the effort to make up for it. But it’s not the same as carrying shame within us that we need to hide from the world.
That need to hide our shame from the world is how we judge ourselves harshly and then look for evidence of others judging us.
That’s often the reason for our defensiveness or aggression in response to any mention of what we once did wrong.
When you find yourself judging yourself or others harshly, it means that you have yet to appreciate the reasons for your weakness or have yet to connect with your humanness.
You’ll only allow others to be human when you believe that you’re allowed to be human.
Right there is the path to peace in your life.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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