#phineas pell
Chet: What scares you the most?
Finny:Werewolves
Brinker:Sharks
Gene: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us towards an inevitable death
Leper:Gene
Finny, to Gene, right after the mock trial: hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don’t mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn’t that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy…
Gene: If you had 10 cookies and I asked for 5 how many would you have?
Finny:None
Gene: Finny, this is basic math. Don’t mess with m-
Finny: I would give them all to you because you’re my best friend!
Gene: Gross. Absolutely disgusting. Get out of my house immediately.
Finny, to Brinker: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, because a summer’s day is not a bitch!
Finny: You know what strength is? Forgiving a person who wasn’t even sorry
Brinker: Not to be dramatic but I would literally rather die
Finny: Am I right, Brinker?
Brinker: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be honest I wasn’t listening
Kidnapper: I have your son
Finny: I don’t have a son
Kidnapper: So who’s this kid talking about snails and asking if we can go skiing?
Finny: Oh my god you have Leper!
Finny: Hey Gene! Nice hair!
Gene, internally: Oh my god, the first piece of positive reinforcement I’ve received in 6 months. Respond appropriately
Gene: Thank you. I grew it myself
Gene, internally:DAMMIT!
Finny: I hate going into the kitchen and realizing I’m the only snack in the house
Finny: Everything is going to be alright. It’s just a crush
Gene: Hey Finny
Finny: I’m in love with you
Gene, yelling: Brinker! Brinker!!
Finny: Brinker Hadley!!
Gene: How many Brinkers do you think there are at this school?
Gene: Finny, I think you should play the role of my father
Finny: I don’t wanna be your father
Gene: That’s perfect! You already know your lines
Brownie: Let me get this straight
Leper: More like let me run this BI you
Gene: Let’s see how this PANS out
Brinker: Hopefully we’ll ACE this
Finny:…
Finny: I’m gay.
Gene:*sneezes*
Finny: Are you sick?? Here, let me wrap you up in a blanket and make you some warm soup. You poor thing :(((
Brinker:*sneezes*
Finny: Oh my God shut the fuck up
Gene: When I’m stressed I like to go and sit on a surface that isn’t meant to be sat on because when tomorrow comes, I will be faced with even more challenges and I am too overwhelmed to be worrying about what “is” and “is not” a “chair
Finny: Okay babe, whatever you say
Finny: Gene, what did I tell you about comparing Brinker to the Devil?
Gene: That it’s offensive to the Devil?
Gene: I can’t compete with you physically and you’re no match for my brains
Finny: You’re that smart?
Gene: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Finny:Yes
Gene:Morons
Brinker: Sorry, lost my cool there for a second
Finny: Can’t lose what you never had
Gene, sighing: I’ve never had a real friend before…
Finny: I can be your friend!
Gene:…
Gene: I’ve also never had a boyfriend
