#poc ana

It’s very early in the morning and I’m tired, but I can’t sleep or stop crying, and nothing can make me feel better it seems.

I literally have no idea how to describe this specific type of pain. I don’t feel like I’m a part of anything or that I have any sort of real identity. I feel so alienated from every community I’m supposedly a part of, and I don’t know how to fix it. It feels like there’s not even a point in trying. I’ve spent over two decades of my life feeling like an outsider, how could I possibly change that at all? And the people in my life who MAYBE could help me… I can’t being myself to speak to any of them because of all the shame and humiliation I feel.

And so once again I scream into the void and I babble the vaguest of cries and complaints for the internet to possibly read. Pathetic.