The goddamn truth

Scrambled eggs and noodles!

101cal

This one is really simple. You also have the option of useing one whole egg or a few egg whites. Today I was feeling the fatty flavor of a yoke so I cheat a bit and used a whole egg. Just that and half a pack of shiritaki noodles beat with some veggies. Add spices of your choice, I did salt pepper and saracha and believe you me it is tasty and filling.

99 Cals in total

Two egg whites, whisked

Three cups soup stock

One roma tomato, chunked

Spinach (I did a big frozen chunk)

Half a pack shiritaki noodles

Boil everything but egg, then slowly whisk it in.

I really recommend.

OKAY GUYS DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T WANT TO EAT A LITRE OF SOUP FOR 120 CALORIES.

This bad boy was so filling tried to have two cups and I couldn’t finish it (going to later though because it was fantastic).

Use a pot to fry some onion (half a small one or so) in half a teaspoon oil and a clove of garlic (I forgot to add that in myfitnesspal, but it’s 3 cal). Then add stock and bring to a boil, add the chopped asparagus (roughly half a pound but you can use more). Let it boil for a minute and then ram that bad boy in a blender with some spices ( I recommend lemon juice and rosemary).

Kendall Jenner is SIMPLY ethereal!!!

Chipotle

I work at Chipotle, and I get free meal every day. To be honest, it’s a very exhausting and physical job. I need to eat at least something, or I’ll literally faint while working. What should I get in my bowl to keep it low cal? I can put as little in as I want but I need to have at least something. Probably definitely avoid rice, right? Is black or pinto beans less calories or maybe just no beans? For meat I get a half of scoop of sofrita (tofu), or just a half a scoop of avocado. Please help

small-asf:

Don’t eat this right now

Really, don’t do it. You have just eaten, you are full. Did you know your stomach is as big as your fist? It can’t carry more, don’t push it. Check the calories. Are they more than 150? If not, take it with you. Don’t touch it unless your stomach needs it, when you feel light pains in it. If the calories are over 150, don’t eat this. Search for something else.

Also, drink water. Maybe it will cure your cravings and it will fill your stomach more.

Just, don’t eat this right now, please

Ma stiamo scherzando? Gente che va a dire “non mangiare” a sconosciuti? Ma veramente?

Vorrei che queste persone si trovassero faccia a faccia con le persone a cui stanno distruggendo la vita facendo così.

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Seriously? People that say “don’t eat” at stranger? Really?

I wish those people find themselves face to face whit the people they are ruining life acting like this.

A visual representation of me during quarantine with my parents

fitting-into-a-beautiful-world:

Let’s be real…We all know him

The man, the myth, the LEGEND

Ana Accountability (01.21.22)

Morning:

12 fl oz can Mountain Dew Major Melon, 160cal

Tyson Any'tizers Buffalo Style Hot Wings (unmeasured), ~190cal

Subtotal: ~350cal

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Afternoon:

1 banana (unmeasured), ~110cal

12 fl oz Arizona Diet Half & Half Tea Lemonade, 10cal

Wrigley’s Extra Polar Ice Gum, 5cal

Monster Pops Lemon Lime popsicle, 60cal

Subtotal: ~185cal

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Evening:

Wendy’s medium fries, 350cal

Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich, 500cal

Wendy’s medium (~20 fl oz) Coke Zero, 0cal

Beef lo mein, ???cal

Egg fried rice, ???cal

Subtotal: 850cal+

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Total Caloric Intake: ????cal (1,380cal+)

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Not me failing at high restriction. I was aiming to limit myself to 1,500cal at most, but of course one of my parents has to suddenly decided to bring Chinese takeout home for everybody on the day I start trying to do daily accountability posts again. I guess I should have expected to fuck up the first day back when it’s been quite a while since I actually starved myself anyways. Oh well, I won’t let this stop me from trying to restrict tomorrow or the day after. I’m sure it won’t be long until I start getting restless and begin naturally restricting more and more as time goes on also.

Also, I apologize to anyone that finds the formatting of this post kind of ugly; I’ve never really known how to make my daily accountability posts look particularly nice and neat.

Okay, I think I need to start doing accountability posts on here, because otherwise I’ll never lose weight on my own. I feel like if there’s other eyes on the numbers, I might feel pressure to keep the numbers down even if no one is forcing me.

I don’t really know what format to go with though. Either I do my old ana log format from before or I update every time I consume something. Or maybe both? I’m reallyyy unsure because it’s been a while since I posted anything having to do with me actually restricting at all.

OMFGGGGG. I NEED NEED NEEEEED to lose weight to make a pretty girl like me. PLEASEEEE let me gain some motivation to starve again finally.

the severely mentally ill urge to date someone equally mentally ill or with the same illnesses so i get worse just from being with them

Any grown mentally ill bitches from EDblr wanna be in an unhealthy friendship where we never shut up?

I’m a 23-year-old (gender-questioning) AFAB bi/queer, I’m dx with ADHD and BPD, and I’m (objectively) fat with a dead ED blog, lol.

Uhhh… Does someone around my age wanna be fasting buddies because I need someone to hold my hand or else I will crack and eat?

Okay, I need to start starving myself again ASAP, if not because I’m simply fucked up, because a hot girl on a dating app asked if we could meet up at some time.

That one TikTok audio that goes like “This is the best idea I ever had! … That’s the worst idea you ever had!”, but the video is my restrictive ED telling me “Wouldn’t it be so fun to date and/or live with another sapphic anorexic? What if sapphic anas had a secret code on their dating profiles to identify each other easily? :)” and then the so-called “normal” part of me going “You seriously need to get help. Forreal.”

Sooo…

I’m back to this blog! I doubt my stay will be any more permanent than the last few times, but I guess I just wanted to provide a little update on myself.

In terms of my weight, things aren’t going very well. :( I’ve been sort of fluctuating and even going higher that what I would normally consider my base weight. I’m not sure exactly what is causing this; my best guess is that it could be stress. I haven’t even been weighing myself the past several weeks because it’s just too depressing for me to have to see the numbers going up.

In terms of my mental health, well… It depends on the day, or maybe even the hour. I’ve been stressing over work along with my regular anxieties. Though recently I haven’t been working due to illness (I’m pretty sure it’s not Covid but I still kind of want to get tested just in case). I’ve also recently gone on SSRI medication for anxiety, specifically generic Zoloft. I was honestly hoping to be put on a stimulant like Adderall or Vyvanse for my ADHD so that I could lose weight from it, but oh well, I guess. I can only do so much to control what my psychiatrist chooses to prescribe me. As much as I tried to put emphasis on my ADHD, I guess it was a bit more apparent(?) how much my anxiety was weighing on me.

annalizlisa:

Gum Fast :)

I have this habit where sometimes I will place a stick of gum in my mouth while I’m getting ready for work, then I chew it throughout my entire shift without switching it after it runs out of flavor and without taking it out to eat anything, and then, finally, I throw the gum away after I’ve gotten home and changed out of my uniform.

I find myself very proud of the restraint I display in not consuming any additional calories outside of the 5cal from the initial stick of gum during the 4 to sometimes even 10+ hours I spend at work. Not to mention the fact that I strangely find myself enjoying the taste of water more when I do this, even when there is no flavor left in my gum.

I’ve decided that I am going to attempt using this stategy to fast for longer periods of time. In my first ever attempt at this, I will see if I can fast for at least 48hrs (2 days) with one stick of gum in my mouth. My stretch goal will be 100hrs (a little over 4 days), though that may be difficult to achieve since I’m going to be working on day 3 and so I might need to eat that day in order to have strength for work. Like I said though, 100hrs is a stretch goal; I’ll be satisfied with just the initial 48hrs hours if that’s all I can do since it’s been quite a while since I’ve completed any sort of fast successfully. :)

Update: Unfortunately I only managed to do roughly 39hrs on my gum fast, because, when I got up from my mid-day sleeping session, I had temporarily forgotten about the fact that I was supposed to be fasting and unthinkingly ate a snack I found when I entered my kitchen. ‍♀️ 39hrs is better than nothing, but I’m still kind of disappointed in myself. Hopefully my next attempt at a fast goes better than this one, whenever it is.

Gum Fast :)

I have this habit where sometimes I will place a stick of gum in my mouth while I’m getting ready for work, then I chew it throughout my entire shift without switching it after it runs out of flavor and without taking it out to eat anything, and then, finally, I throw the gum away after I’ve gotten home and changed out of my uniform.

I find myself very proud of the restraint I display in not consuming any additional calories outside of the 5cal from the initial stick of gum during the 4 to sometimes even 10+ hours I spend at work. Not to mention the fact that I strangely find myself enjoying the taste of water more when I do this, even when there is no flavor left in my gum.

I’ve decided that I am going to attempt using this stategy to fast for longer periods of time. In my first ever attempt at this, I will see if I can fast for at least 48hrs (2 days) with one stick of gum in my mouth. My stretch goal will be 100hrs (a little over 4 days), though that may be difficult to achieve since I’m going to be working on day 3 and so I might need to eat that day in order to have strength for work. Like I said though, 100hrs is a stretch goal; I’ll be satisfied with just the initial 48hrs hours if that’s all I can do since it’s been quite a while since I’ve completed any sort of fast successfully. :)

It’s very early in the morning and I’m tired, but I can’t sleep or stop crying, and nothing can make me feel better it seems.

I literally have no idea how to describe this specific type of pain. I don’t feel like I’m a part of anything or that I have any sort of real identity. I feel so alienated from every community I’m supposedly a part of, and I don’t know how to fix it. It feels like there’s not even a point in trying. I’ve spent over two decades of my life feeling like an outsider, how could I possibly change that at all? And the people in my life who MAYBE could help me… I can’t being myself to speak to any of them because of all the shame and humiliation I feel.

And so once again I scream into the void and I babble the vaguest of cries and complaints for the internet to possibly read. Pathetic.

annalizlisa:

Another year, Another fast!

Going on a water fast and I can already feel it going well! All I have to do is find things to hyperfocus on for the next few days so I remain distracted from the idea of eating food. Maybe neurodivergence does have some advantages.

Today is day one and I haven’t weighed myself yet, but it’s not really a problem since I know how much weight I tend to lose during fasts, so I can take my weight later and then just add to it to get my beginning weight.

Me coming back to this post after ruining my fast and gaining weight:

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So it turns out that even though my plan seemed full-proof, my forgetful and impulsive ND brain chose to ignore it. RIP.

And then I also found out that one of the batteries in my smart scale actually leaked battery acid and corroded the metal bits in the battery compartment of the scale, so I ended up having to use a regular scale to weight myself last week. Luckily, I’ve learned how to clean up the corrosion and could weight myself today, but I’m not sure if I want to do a stats update on here since I don’t have the body fat percentage of last week + I gained slightly.

Another year, Another fast!

Going on a water fast and I can already feel it going well! All I have to do is find things to hyperfocus on for the next few days so I remain distracted from the idea of eating food. Maybe neurodivergence does have some advantages.

Today is day one and I haven’t weighed myself yet, but it’s not really a problem since I know how much weight I tend to lose during fasts, so I can take my weight later and then just add to it to get my beginning weight.

Literally all I wanted to do tonight was to cook food and bake sweets for my family, it was all I had to look forward to in my mind, but now I can’t do it because I couldn’t get anyone to take me to the store to buy groceries and I can’t drive. So now I’m having a fucking breakdown and crying my eyes out, and all I want to fucking do is starve to take SOME kind of control over SOMETHING.

Maybe it’s a stupid thing to cry over, and maybe it’s my own fault for not having a license and only making plans for things at the last minute, but I just can’t fucking stand how depressed I get every Christmas. I really thought for a second that maybe I could make it different this year but now it’s even worse; having that split second of hope and then failing again anyway hurts even worse.

I’m a mess. A Mess. Every time I think I’ve finished crying and try to distract myself, the tears just start up again.

I wanna starve, starve, starve, STARVE.

My brain when my desire to look like a Monster High Skelita doll and my desire to have a juicy ass like Doja Cat start squaring up against each other in my thoughts at 2am again

So it looks like I’m back to using my ED blog after abandoning it for nearly 2 months.

Okay, so, I’m probably definitely going to weigh more on my next weigh day than I did on my last because I’ve SERIOUSLY been slacking. But on the bright side, I’m very close to running out of my personal food supply, so I think I’m going to start a fast at the beginning of next week when there’s probably not going to be anything left in my room to tempt me.

LAST WEEK’S STATS (09.20.20)
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 153.2lbs (69.5kg)
BF: 28.2%
BMI: 28.0 (Overweight)

NEW STATS (09.27.20)
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 156.8lbs (71.1kg)
BF: 29.1%
BMI: 28.7 (Overweight)

IGAINEDby: +3.6lbs (+1.6kg), +1.5% BF, & +0.5 BMI Points

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Perhaps choosing to attempt eating a healthy amount of calories for weight loss was ✨a mistake.✨ Can y’all believe I had negative net calories every day for the entire week but STILL gained in the end???? Not even gonna lie, I’m seriously feeling scammed right now, what the fuck. 

Recap of This Week’s Calorie Intake Here

Weekly Ana Recap (09.13.20 - 09.19.20)

This week’s calorie allowance was:3,500cal

This week’s calorie expenditure goal was:14,000cal

Daily Calories Consumed

Sunday: 445cal

Monday: 432cal

Tuesday: 500cal

Wednesday: 453cal

Thursday: 485cal

Friday: 445cal

Saturday: 730cal

This week’s total calorie intake was:3,490cal

Daily Calories Burned

Sunday: 2051cal

Monday: 2003cal

Tuesday: 2079cal

Wednesday: 1959cal

Thursday: 1974cal

Friday: 1892cal

Saturday: 2351cal

This week’s total calorie expenditure was:14,309cal

This week’s total net calories were:-10,819cal

LAST WEEK’S STATS (09.13.20)
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 159.8lbs (72.5kg)
BF:29.8%
BMI: 29.2 (Overweight)

NEW STATS (09.20.20)
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 153.2lbs (69.5kg)
BF:28.2%
BMI: 28.0 (Overweight)

ILOSTby: -6.6lbs (-3kg), -1.6% BF, & -1.2 BMI Points

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I guess that’s what happens when you only eat 3,490cal the whole week and also burn 14,309cal in total in the same week. ‍♀️ I’m going to try taking it easy for the first few days of this week (09.20 - 09.26), but I’m so excited right now; going back down to, or even past, my LW by next week should totally be a piece of cake!!

Not to be nasty in the ana tags and shit, but…

Anybody wanna h*ld h*nds with me so my weak-willed ass can feel supported and get through this fucking fast? OML

annalizlisa:

annalizlisa:

I bought new underwear today but they don’t fit exactly how I wanted them to, so I’m going to try to see if they’ll fit right if I fast for an entire week (Sun-Sat)! Both of my parents are going to be out of town for the entire week too, so I don’t have to worry about any homecooked meals getting in my way!!

I’m gonna drink one last caloric drink before bed and then I’m going to use the toilet and weight myself after I wake up and log my new stats in a reblog of this post. See you guys (whoever sees this, if anyone) then!

Measured my new stats this morning and I wanna die. How’d I let myself reach obese status? I’m definitely making the right decision to fast this week.

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NEW STATS

Height: 5'2" (157cm)

Weight: 165.6lbs (75.1kg)

BF:31.8%

BMI: 30.3 (Obese)

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If things go well, I should be around 153lbs (69.4kg) with a BMI of around 28.0 at the end of my fast. Wish me luck; I’m gonna need it.

Okay, I’m a dumb bitch and keep failing really badly, so I’m changing my plans.

I’m gonna just stick to a few foods to snack on for the next couple of days, no meals or full plates, no cooked or processed food (besides dry cereal and crackers), and my drinks are limited to water, diet soda, and Arizona Lite (obviously that has calories, but I can’t help myself ). Anything outside of the base guidelines has be purged, NO EXCEPTIONS.

I wish I could have the same level of discipline to fast for days as I had before, but I guess I have to work myself back up to that level of control.