#policartoons

Both Sides Are Equally Bad!

If you enjoy these cartoons, please reblog or support them on my Patreon. A $1 pledge really helps!

To read my notes about the cartoon, check out the original patreon post!

Transcript of Cartoon:

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels; two rows containing five panels between them, and then a final row with just a single large panel. 

Panel 1

Three people stand on a city sidewalk talking.  There is “Mr. Right,” a bald white man wearing a dress shirt and a tie; a woman wearing glasses, a white collared shirt and a floral skirt; and “Ms. Left,” a black-haired woman wearing a hoodie and jeans.

Glasses has turned to her left, to address Ms Left.

GLASSES: Whats’ the worst thing you do, Ms Left?

MS LEFT: Well,.. Some of our extremists punch people, and not everyone punched is a Nazi.

Panel 2

Glasses has now turned to her right, to ask Mr Right a question. 

GLASSES: And Mr Right, what’s the worst thing you do?

MR RIGHT: Oh, you know… Forced child separation, inhumane detention camps, and mass shootings inspired by the violent rhetoric of our highest elected leaders.

Panel 3

A close-up of Glasses, who is holding up a hand with a “stop!” gesture and looking upward as if thinking.

GLASSES: But if you both do violence… Then that means…

Panel 4

An even tighter close-up of Glasses. Her hands are up on her face, and her eyes are wide, as if she’s having a startling realization.

GLASSES: That both of you are…

Panel 5

A very tight close-up of Glasses’ face - her entire head doesn’t even fit in the panel.  She’s grinning too wide and sweating and looks very intense. Her dialog in this panel, rather than being contained in a dialog balloon, is done in huge, happy letters superimposed over the image.

GLASSES: EQUALLY BAD!

Panel 6

A large panel, showing Mr. Right and Glasses grinning and dancing joyously while they sing. Musical notes fill the air around them. On the far right of the panel, Ms Left is facepalming.

MR RIGHT (sings): Equally bad! Equally bad!

GLASSES (sings): Equally bad!

MS LEFT (thought): Why do I even talk to centrists?

Portland is a War Zone!

If you enjoy these cartoons, please reblog or support them on my Patreon. A $1 pledge really helps!

This cartoon is a collaboration with Becky Hawkins.  Becky and I have done other political cartoons together, and we also collaborate on our webcomic SuperButch. (Also here on tumblr)

To read my notes about the cartoon, check out the original patreon post!

Transcript of Cartoon:

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels. The first four panels are narrow, and show a tight close-up of a woman’s head and shoulders as she talks on a cell phone. The final panel is a long shot, showing a sidewalk scene.

Panel 1

A woman with blonde hair, and glasses pushed up on top of her head, talks on a cell phone. She looks frightened.

WOMAN: If you don’t live in Portland, you can’t imagine what it’s like. It’s a friggin’ war zone here!

Panel 2

She continues speaking into her cell phone, now looking a bit angry.

WOMAN: Every day we’re dodging tear gas and concrete milkshakes! Proud boys and antifa are everywhere!

Panel 3

She holds up one hand to cup by her mouth, as if whispering.

WOMAN: Don’t print my name…. I don’t want to become their next target.

Panel 4

She looks wide-eyed and panicked as she presses the button to hang up the phone.

WOMAN: Even talking to you like this– oh no! Someone’s coming! No, NO! Please, don’t hurt me! AAARGH!

PHONE: Click.

Panel 5

The “camera” has backed very far back, and we can now see that the woman is sitting with a friend at an outdoor table on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant or cafe. The friend is wide-eyed with shock; the woman is sipping her coffee and smiling as if she’s very pleased with herself.

We can also see almost a full block of the sidewalk they’re sitting on, and some of the street. It’s a peaceful street scene; diners sit at tables with striped umbrellas; a mom pushes a baby carriage; a parent bikes by with a toddler seated between the parent and the handle bars; two children play catch; further back, a woman in a black dress bikes, her black hair blowing behind her. The red brick building has green paint accents, and in the distance, trees and a mountain can be seen behind the city buildings.

WOMAN: God, I love out-of-town reporters!

It’s Excessive Occupational Licensing, Charlie Brown!

If you enjoy these cartoons, please reblog or support them on my Patreon. A $1 pledge really helps!

This cartoon is a collaboration with Becky Hawkins.  Becky and I have done other political cartoons together, and we also collaborate on our webcomic SuperButch.

To read my notes about the cartoon, check out the original patreon post!

Transcript:

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a small extra “kicker” panel below the bottom of the strip. Each panel has the same setting – a green field with blue sky, and a childish booth, drawn to resemble Lucy’s “psychiatric help, the doctor is in” booth from the comic strip Peanuts. But this booth says “State Legislature, the Senator is in.”

Behind the desk is a white man with gray hair and a conservative suit and tie.

Panel 1

The Senator sits behind his booth, listening with his head resting on one hand. A Black person with braided hair has walked up to the booth and is talking to him.

BRAIDER: I’m starting a business braiding Black people’s hair. But the law says I can’t until I’ve taken two thousand hours of training in styling white people’s hair.

Panel 2

The Braider keeps on talking, getting a bit more passionate. Behind them, a grinning man wearing a v-neck shirt and a blazer, with a full beard and carefully styled hair, walks on, waving “hi.”

BRAIDER: Even becoming an Emergency Medical Technician only takes thirty three hours of training! This makes no sense!

SENATOR: This is Bob Johnson of the State Hairdresser’s Association. What do you say, Bob?

Panel 3

Bob leans his elbow on the Senator’s desk, oozing confidence. The Senator listens like an attentive schoolboy. Behind Bob, unnoticed, the Braider looks angry and appalled.

BOB: It’s far too dangerous to permit competit- I mean, to permit unlicensed hair braiding.

BOB: On a completely unrelated note, we’re increasing our donation to your re-election campaign.

Panel 4

The Senator, with a satisfied air, leans back on his chair, hands behind his head and feet on his desk. Bob grins and makes a “hand gun” gesture towards the Senator. The braider raises her hands into the air, and has a huge open mouth of despair and objection as she yells.

SENATOR: After careful deliberation, I’ve concluded unlicensed braiding would be a grave threat to public safety.

BOB: Thanks, Jeff. Lunch?

BRAIDER: THIS IS A TERRIBLE SYSTEM!

Small kicker panel below the bottom of the strip.

The Senator is talking to the braider.

SENATOR: If you don’t want to buy thousands of hours of training about white people’s hair, aren’t youtherealracist?

Thought Congestion

Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins! (frenchtoastcomix) This one was written by me, and drawn by Becky. If you enjoy these cartoons, please reblog or support them on my Patreon . A $1 pledge really helps!

To read my notes about the cartoon, check out the original patreon post!

Transcript:

TRANSCRIPT OF COMIC

The comic has four panels.

PANEL 1

The panel shows backed-up traffic on an overpass in the foreground. In the background, we can see more backed-up highways, and behind that the buildings of a small city, including a white building with a big dome on top and a US flag - i.e., a government building. Two word balloons come from that building. The balloons belong to characters I will call MAYOR and NERD.

MAYOR: The city just spent half a billion widening roads. But we still have traffic congestion!

NERD: Well, Mr. Mayor, studies show that adding lanes doesn’t fix traffic.

PANEL 2

Inside the mayor’s office. There is a big curtained window and a fancy executive desk with a big leather chair. In front of the desk is the Mayor - a man in a suit with gray hair - and a woman who is a nerd, by which I mean she’s wearing glasses, has her hair in a bun, and is carrying a stack of three-ring binders.

The Mayor is making a “stop talking” gesture, holding up a hand flat in front of the nerd’s face. The mayor looks angry, and his eyes are bloodshot.

NERD: People’s capacity to drive is greater than our capacity to build roads, so-

MAYOR: Blah blah blah! We’ve got to do something!

PANEL 3

The mayor, now looking happy, makes a big sweeping gesture with his hand, causing the surprised nerd to drop her binders.

NERD: Um…

MAYOR: I’ve got it!

PANEL 4

The mayor and the nerd are now on stage, the mayor behind the podium and the nerd to one side and behind him. There is a cheering crowd watching the mayor speak.

The Mayor is waving a hand grandly as he speaks. The nerd is face-palming.

MAYOR: Good news, citizens! We’re widening the roads again!

The Existence of Trains Debate

If you enjoy these cartoons, please reblog or support them on my Patreon. A $1 pledge really helps!

To read my notes about the cartoon, check out the original patreon post!

Transcript:

Transcript of Cartoon

This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a three by three grid, with a small “kicker” panel under the bottom of the cartoon.

Panel 1

We see two people on the train tracks. They are not tied to the tracks, but they are tied together, so neither one could move without the other. One person has black hair in a pony tail; the other has wavy hair and is wearing capri pants. Ponytail has a panicked expression, while Capri looks wryly amused.

PONYTAIL: I can’t believe we’re tied together on the train tracks.

CAPRI: Are we sure these are train tracks?

Panel 2

Ponytail turns her head back towards Capri to urgently suggest a plan.

PONYTAIL: If we work together, we can crawl off before a train comes.

CAPRI: There’s no evidence any train is coming.

Panel 3

Ponytail shouts a bit, angry, and Capri laughs.

PONYTAIL: The train comes at this time every day!

CAPRI: HA! What’s happened in the past can’t predict the future.

Panel 4

Ponytail panics, yelling, and Capri responds with amused dismissal.

PONYTAIL: The tracks are shaking!

CAPRI: it’s natural shaking. Haven’t you heard of earthquakes.

Panel 5

Ponytail angrily yells, and Capri sneers. (It’s a mix of a grin and a sneer).

PONYTAIL: LISTEN TO ME! I’m a train engineer, and

CAPRI: Pfft! “Engineers” are just in it for the money.

Panel 6

A close up of their heads. Ponytail is terrified now, sweat droplets flying off her. Capri remains amused.

PONYTAIL: Let’s get off the tracks, just in case! HURRY!

CAPRI: Expend all that effort over what might be nothing?

Panel 7

Ponytail yells, her eyes as big as dessert plates.

PONYTAIL: I CAN SEE THE TRAIN! WE’RE GONNA DIE!

CAPRI: You’re being hysterical.

Panel 8

This panel contains only a sound effect, in big overlapping letters, with stars flying around: CRASH

Panel 9

The same two characters are hovering in the sky, in angel outfits, including wings and halos.  Capri is shrugging but still smiling; Ponytail is yelling angrily.

CAPRI ANGEL: Okay, maybe there was a train.

PONYTAIL ANGEL: WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?

Small kicker panel under the bottom of the cartoon.

A bald guy talks to a fat guy with a ponytail and glasses (i.e., me, the cartoonist).

BALD GUY: Cute cartoon, but what if some readers don’t get that it’s a metaphor for global warming denial?

BARRY: I’ll find some subtle way to let them know!