You & Me | Part Two | Sirius

A/N: Here’s part two! You won’t get a choice after this one. Instead, you’ll be merged back into the main story :) Click here for part one.

KEY:

• y/h = Your house
• y/f/h = Your favorite hobby
• y/f/q/t = Your favorite Quidditch team fan

You nodded, “You’re right. He’d probably rather be alone anyway. He always does that when he’s upset…”

“So,” Sirius said as the two of you started walking in the direction of your next class, “Tell me about yourself.”

Gazing up at him, your books pressed tightly to your chest, you smiled, “What do you want to know?”

He grinned down at you, “Everything.”

By the time you made it to Defence Against the Dark Arts, you and Sirius knew the basic ins and outs of each others lives. He knew that you were a y/h, you enjoyed y/f/h, and that you were a diehard y/f/q/t.

As you made your way down the last corridor before you reached class, Sirius asked you about your family.

“My family?” You had repeated, making sure you had heard his question right.

“I told you,” He smiled, “I want to know everything about you.”

You shrugged, “There’s not much to tell, really. I’m the first witch/wizard in my family, so they were a bit surprised when I received my letter. Proud, but unsure. They don’t really understand the whole magic thing.”

“So you’re a muggleborn?” He asked, his eyes focused on yours rather than the influx of students in the corridor.

“Yes,” You answered, raising a brow, “Is that a problem?”

He shook his head, “Not in the slightest. I’m a pureblood, come from a wizarding family that goes back too far for comfort, so I’ve rarely interacted with muggles. Always been a bit curious, that’s all.”

“Well, my family is as muggle as they come. They’re more interested in football than they are in Quidditch. Not that I blame them. The idea of flying on a broom and dodging balls in the air seems a bit strange. But I like it well enough.”

“You should come to the next game,” He said, his voice lilting.

“Why, are you playing next?” You asked, as you made your way to the door.

“No, but I was wondering if you’d like to go to the next game together. Neither of our houses are playing, so it’d just be a chance to watch the game.” Sirius smiled, raking a hand through his hair.

“I’d like that, very much.”

You went to open the door, expecting Sirius to follow after you, but he didn’t.

“Are you coming, Sirius?” You asked, confusion masking your face.

He let out a long sigh, “Can I be honest with you?”

“I had hoped you’d been honest since we started talking, but go ahead.”

“I don’t really have Defense Against the Dark Arts right now. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.” He admitted, chewing on his bottom lip.

“So you lied to me?” You said with a frown.

He swallowed, bowing his head, “Yes. And I’m sorry. But I don’t regret it. Lying, yes, but not talking to you.”

Nodding, you looked to your classroom, “Well, you can make it up to me at the Quidditch game tomorrow.”

His eyes shot up to meet yours, cheeks flushing, “You still want to go?”

“Don’t be late.”

Sirius nodded, “I won’t. I promise. I’ll meet you in front of the Great Hall?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I’ll see you then, Y/N.”

Smiling, you entered your classroom, “See you then.”

secrets i have held in my heart

pairing: sirius black x fem!reader

summary: when a slytherin classmate asks you out, you gladly accept. but why is sirius so upset about it?

warnings: angst + fluff

word count: 3.0k

note: not sure if the title makes sense but i was listening to i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys while writing this soo…. enjoyy

“who were you just talking to? seemed awfully friendly.”

a smile pulled at your lips as you approached your friends, grinning at lily’s question. “vincent richmond. he’s in our year.” you replied.

“who!?”

and that would be sirius black, who nearly spat out his juice at your mention of the boy’s name. “vincent richm-” you go to repeat but sirius interjects again. “no, i heard you. what i meant to say was.. why?”

you ignored sirius and turned back to lily, “as i was saying, he asked me to go to hogsmeade with him this weekend.” you tell her excitedly.

“he what!?”

“sirius please, i’m trying to have a conversation with lily.”

sirius shook his head, moving closer to you. “so what did he say when you rejected him?” he asked as he raised his eyebrows. you rolled your eyes as you let out a sigh. “i didn’t reject him.” his eyes grow wide, “you didn’t?” he almost whispers as if saying it too loud might get him in trouble.

“i didn’t.”

“why not?” his voice is much louder now. you look at him with disbelief and confusion. “why not? uhh i don’t know. maybe because he’s nice-”

“nice? he’s a slytherin! lily, tell her she can’t go on this date.” he looks over to your friend. she shrugs, “she can make her own decisions, sirius. in fact, i encourage it.”

sirius’ mouth opens in shock. “encourage it? why?”

“well, she’s been hung up on-” she’s cut off by a nudge. her eyes widen as she realized what she’s almost revealed. meeting your glare, she offers you an apologetic smile.

“i mean, you know, it’s just a date. let her have fun.” she awkwardly stumbles through her sentence, shamefully looking down to her food once she’s finished.

“homework!” you suddenly call out. “i forgot my potions essay in the dorm, i’ll go fetch it.” it wasn’t a lie, you really did forget, but thankfully it gave you the opportunity to leave the conversation and get away from sirius.

you couldn’t believe him. why was he so against you and vincent? it annoyed you to no end, or rather it confused you. but that seemed to be your friendship with him, confusing. sirius black was in possession of something very dangerous, charm. and unfortunately, you fell victim to it.

everyone knew he was a natural flirt. all he had to do was flash a cheeky smile and girls fell at his feet. and oh, how you tried not to fall for it, tried to resist. but the heart is a fickle thing, is it not?

but the risk of your friendship was too big. during your time at hogwarts, sirius had become a very good friend of yours. he was spontaneous, fun, but most of all loyal. you treasured the relationship you had with him, and not wanting to jeopardize it, you decide to keep your growing feelings for the boy to yourself. who even knows if he felt the same?

it was hard at first. so much so, that lily took notice how your gaze lingered on him, how you laughed a little louder at his jokes. once she confronted you, you knew you couldn’t keep it from her. however, telling her of your feelings had proved to be helpful. somehow getting everything off your chest aided you in getting over the long haired boy. although, not completely.

once you retrieved your homework, you quickly made haste so as not to miss your first class when you were stopped by sirius. “what?”

“are you really going to hogsmeade with richmond?”

you let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair. “i am.” sirius’ shoulders sag at your answer, head slowly hanging down. “but why?” you stayed silent for a moment, waiting until sirius meets your eyes once again. “because he asked me.”

“you can’t go out with him.” he insists to which you rolled your eyes. “why is that?” you challenged, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared him down. “b-because he’s a slytherin!”

“so?” you tilt your head at him. “so? so, he’s evil?” he exclaims. “evil? sirius, you don’t even know him.”

“neither do you!”

your hand comes up to your temple, rubbing it in frustration. “exactly, so i’m going on this date to decide for myself what kind of person he is.”

“but-”

“why are you against this? as my friend, i’d think you want me to be happy.”

sirius jaw clenches at your words, “is that what you think? i don’t want you to be happy?” you press your lips together as you shrug your shoulders, “i don’t what else to think, sirius!”

“i’m only acting this way because i want you to be happy; i’m looking out for you!”

“looking out for me? you haven’t given me a valid reason as to why i shouldn’t go out with vincent.”

“yes i have.”

“no, you’ve only shown your contempt for him about twenty times over.”

“i told you, he’s tricking you. he’s a snake.”

“because that’s the only reason someone would ever express interest in me. to make me the butt of some joke?”

sirius looks taken aback at your statement, “that is not at all what i said, you are not listening to me.”

“i think i’ve listened enough.” you huff. the tension is high, a few of your fellow students lingering in the hallway to listen in on the argument. the both of you are practically fuming with anger. “oh have you?” sirius snarks. you nod at him. he shakes his head, “you know, i’m only looking out for you,” his voice is stern. “i don’t want to see you get hurt.” he added.

“i can take care of myself.”

sirius nodded, lips pursed as he let out a sigh, “fine. but don’t come crying to me when it all goes to shit!” he called out before turning on his heel. “don’t worry, i won’t need to!” you yell at his retreating figure.

-

it’s hogsmeade weekend, which means it’s time for your date with vincent. you had been giddy about it all week, save for the spat you had with sirius. you haven’t spoken to him since, not that he made any effort either.

nonetheless you were gonna go on this date and you were gonna have a good time, regardless of what sirius thinks.

with the help of the girls, you picked out a great outfit and did your hair. after a small pep talk from your friends, you were off to hogsmeade. vincent told you he’d meet you at the three broomsticks and from then on you’d see where the day takes you. the girls sent you off while they went to honeydukes, wishing you good luck as they did so.

-

“she’s really going on the date.”

“sorry mate.” james comforted sirius as he laid on his bed, head buried in a pillow. the boys had decided to sit this hogsmeade weekend. mostly for sirius’ sake. he didn’t want to risk the chance of running into you, of running into you and vincent. “it’s just one date, pads. who knows what’ll come of it.” james continued. “but now she’s angry at me.” sirius groaned.

“i don’t blame her.” remus decides to speak up. sirius lifts his head from the pillow. “et tu, moony?”

“you were being a git. she’s right to be angry with you.”

“i was only trying to warn her- how could she go out with him?”

“well, i’m sure if you told her the actual reason you don’t want her going on this date, she wouldn’t currently be on the date.” remus pointed out, james nodding in agreement. “he’s right, pads.”

“oh, what do you know? you’ve been pining after lily for the past six years and she still won’t give you the time of day.”

“okay, i know you didn’t mean that. you’re hurt because the girl you’re in love with is currently on a date with someone else. so i forgive you. cheap shot, though.”

sirius gasps, “woah, woah. in love? i’m not in love with y/n.” he says, looking up to his friends who now have unamused looks on their faces. “i’m not! wormy, back me up here.” sirius urges peter, who looks away awkwardly, not saying anything. sirius mouth falls open. “really, wormtail?”

“it’s pretty obvious, padfoot.” peter spoke softly, james and remus both hum in agreement. “obvious to everyone but him. and y/n, apparently.” remus adds. sirius shakes his head.

“i’m not in love. she’s my friend and i want the best for her.” james goes to interject but sirius continues, “okay maybe i have a little crush, but can you blame me? she’s amazing. she’s so smart and brave. and funny. and i love spending time with her, it’s the best part of my day-”

james, remus and peter all share knowing glances as sirius rambles on, fighting off smiles when sirius gets up to pace around the room all the while still talking.

“.. her hair always sits so pretty and she smells amazing and it’s not that i don’t want her to date, i just don’t want her dating anyone but me-” sirius pauses in his rant and his pacing. his eyebrows furrow before his eyes widen as if he came to a realization.

“i’m in love with y/n.”

“finally!” the boys shout in unison at his revelation, getting up to pat him on the back. they celebrate for a bit before sirius freezes. “i have to stop that date.”

-

it had been thirty minutes and vincent still hasn’t shown up. you’d stood outside the three broomsticks for five minutes before deciding to go in to look for him. when he wasn’t inside, your mood started to deflate, but you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. so you went back outside and kept on waiting.

while your patience was growing thin, your anger was getting stronger. you were ready to leave and look for your friends when you heard vincent’s voice.

“i told you!” as he came closer into view, you saw that he wasn’t alone. he was joined by a group of boys. and they were laughing, some were even pointing at you. furious, you stomp over to vincent.

“do you know how long i’ve been waiting?”

the smug look on his face doesn’t falter, “30 minutes? give or take?” he smirks at you and your face drops. “what?”

vincent let out a barking laugh, “oh, you didn’t actually think i was interested in you, did you?” your eyes widen in shock, unable to find the words. “oh you did, didn’t you? too bad.”

your fists clench at your side at the sound of his voice, his laughter, his friend’s laughter. “so what, this was all just some dumb joke?”

“a bet, dollface. i suppose i should thank you, i’m a few galleons richer because of you. pay up, fellas!”

“you’re awful.”

“good thing i don’t care.” his friends break out into laughter once more, oh the dreadful sound. you were about to storm off but not before reaching for your wand and casting a few jinx spells.

-

you were currently being comforted by lily and marlene. they’d found you in the common room, sobbing on the couch. you would have gone up to your dorms but since everyone was at hogsmeade you had settled for the common room.

your sobs have stopped by now, but tears still flowed freely down your cheeks. “i’m such an idiot.” you sniffled. “no, you’re not. he’s the idiot.” marlene assured, her hand comfortingly resting on your back. “she’s right. you are an amazing girl and he’s an absolute arse for doing that to you.” lily spoke.

“merlin, he was right.” you sighed, burying your face in your hands. lily and marlene share a confused look, “who? vincent.”

“no,” you groan, “sirius-”

frantic footsteps can be heard suddenly, interrupting you. they get louder and louder until they reach the common room. you freeze at the sound of his voice. all four of the marauders are now in the room. you quickly wipe away at your tears and attempt to regulate your breathing. they spot lily and marlene first.

“girls, have you seen y/n-” james’ voice falters as he walks closer and spots you on the couch. at his abrupt silence, sirius quickly runs over to see why james had stopped talking. sirius freezes at the sight of you. surrounded by tissues. eyes red and puffy and cheeks flushed.

remus and peter soon join them, equally shocked at the situation. “what happened?” remus spoke softly, voice concerned. “nothing.” you quickly say, hoping they didn’t hear the crack in your voice. “but you’re crying.”

“i’m fine.”

“are you sure-”

“yes!” you look up to see the boys’ worried looks, you heave a sigh as you feel another tear falling down. not trusting your voice, you gesture to lily and marlene, giving them the okay to tell them what happened.

“vincent.”

sirius’ jaw clenches at the name, he has been quiet all this time, his eyes never leaving you. “the date was just some stupid bet with his friends. to see how long y/n would wait for him.” the boys gasp as their faces contort into disbelief, shock and anger.

sirius huffs, nostrils flaring as his fist clench at his side. he quickly turns to leave the room, ready to give vincent a piece of his mind when remus stops him. “don’t do anything stupid. you need to be here for her right now.” sirius sighs before realizing that remus is right and turns back to you.

“that’s awful, y/n. what a git.” james curses, shaking his head sympathetically. everyone nodded in agreement.

“are you okay?” sirius asks, the room falling silent. standing up from the couch, you finally meet his eyes, his familiar grey orbs bring a sense of comfort despite the tension between the two of you. you nod at him. “you were right.” you whispered. when he says nothing you continue, “he was bad news and i should’ve listened to you. could you gloat at a later time, though? not really in the mood.” your voice is shaky as more tears escape.

“and don’t worry, i won’t come crying to you.”

sirius lets out a sigh, “what if i come to you?”

you cautiously watch as sirius strides over to you, opening his arms and bringing you into his chest, nestling his face into your hair. you tense up for a moment before melting into him, wrapping your arms around him.

lily gestures for everyone to leave, nodding her head at the door. they all follow suit, quietly exiting the room to give you some privacy.

you start sobbing quietly as sirius holds you close. you feel his hand come up to stroke your head. “i’m sorry.” you snicker. sirius pulls back, enough so he can cup your face. “hey, you have nothing to be sorry for.” he assures you. you shake your head. “i do. i should’ve listened you and then we fought-”

“that was my fault.”

“but you were right about him.”

“i didn’t want to be! everything i said was out of pure jealousy. if i knew what he was up to, trust me, i would have been a lot more persistent.”

“you were jealous?”

sirius looks down at you with a fond smile, “love, i’m jealous of anyone who holds your attention for more than a minute.”

your mouth slightly opens at his statement. sirius lets his words sink in. it’s a confession. of sorts. he so badly wants to scream how utterly in love he is with you, but he decides he’ll tell you tomorrow. with your favorite flowers, maybe some sweets from honeydukes. and definitely in a more romantic setting.

“just a heads up, me and the guys are definitely gonna make vincent and his foul little friends pay. i’m sure james already has some ideas.”

you let out a laugh, “no need, right now they’re all covered in boils and throwing up slugs.” you tell him proudly. sirius gives you an amused look, “i’ve taught you well.”

-

some time later the both of you are on the couch, his arms around as your head rests on his chest. some of your housemates had come and gone, pausing as they saw the two of you entangled together.

sirius absentmindedly played with your hair as the two of you engaged in conversation about anything and everything. your tears had stopped long ago and now you could barely remember the entire vincent fiasco. now you feel at ease, at peace. in his arms.

“…you should’ve seen snape’s face. oh, it was priceless-” sirius pauses his story as he feels your breathing even out. when he looks down, he finds your eyes closed, your face cuddled into his chest. he couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face as he watched you.

careful not to wake you up, he adjusts slightly on the couch so you can stretch out more comfortably, movement freezing when you stir. once he feels you settle once more, his hand comes up to stroke the top of your hair. you nuzzle more into his chest at the gesture and sirius hopes you don’t feel the rapid beating of his heart.

he contemplates on waking you up, you probably would be more comfortable on your bed, but he selfishly decides against it, opting to hold you in his arms a little while longer.

a few moments pass and you’re still sleeping soundly on sirius’ chest. he looks down to your face and heaves a sigh. the events from earlier are still at the back of his mind. the nerve of vincent richmond.

“you did not deserve that.” he whispers softly. “you are so fucking precious and you don’t realize, huh?” his thumb traces over your cheek, “you deserve the world and everything beyond,” he breathes into your hair. “and i will make it my life’s mission to give you just that.” he pressed a soft kiss to your head before stroking over your hair once more.

tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything. how deeply he feels for you, how you make his heart swell with a simple smile, how he cannot bear the thought of you with someone else. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything he just said and he’ll make sure you’re awake to actually hear him.

fortunately, you were always a light sleeper.

: sirius black x fem!reader

: when sirius finds himself with girl troubles, he enlists your help

: fluff, bit of angst

: 2.8k

: not really fond of this one but anyway enjoyy

masterlist

you were laughing as lily explained james potter’s latest attempt at wooing her. “i seriously don’t know how he comes up with these ridiculous nicknames.” she exclaimed. “i don’t think we want to know.” you countered, shuddering at the thought of seeing inside james potter’s mind. or any of the marauders’ minds. “you are absolutely right. ignorance is bliss.” lily agreed. “that it is, my friend.”

“i just don’t get it. girls throw themselves at him all the time, yet he continues to pester me.” the red head sighs before taking a sip of her butterbeer. “have you ever thought that he might genuinely have feelings for you? so other girls simply don’t interest him?” you narrowed your eyes at her and she averted your gaze. “still. you’d think by now he’d take a hint or at least give one of them a chance. i mean look at sirius.”

“what about me?”

your conversation is interrupted, said interruption sliding in the chair next to you. you and lily share a similar look of confusion as sirius black is now seated at your table. “so? what about me?” he speaks up again after a moment of silence. you shrug, “nothing. what do you want, 

sirius?”

you and sirius were.. friends. you got along well, much to your surprise and despite what lily insists, you do not have crush on him. 

“now, why would you assume i want something? it’s hogsmeade weekend, can’t i sit with you girls and enjoy this fine day?” sirius exclaims, leaning back in the chair. you almost roll your eyes, “you can, but you haven’t done so since just this moment so i ask again, what do you want, sirius?” he looks at you for a moment before conceding,

 “fine, so there’s this ravenclaw girl-”

he’s cut off by unison groans from you and lily. “we are not gonna help you with your girl problems, black. go ask potter or remus.” lily’s voice is stern as she crosses her arms over her chest. “they can’t help with this.” he whines, looking between the two of you. “why not?” 

“this girl is… persistent. she’s not taking no for an answer and i need to get her off my back.” he explains, his voice is frantic, the desperation sinking through. you sighed, “and how are we supposed to help with that?” 

“well not so much you and lily as much as just you.” he says hesitantly, looking at you with pleading eyes. your head tilts in confusion, “why just me?”

“because james likes lily.”

“what does that have to do with anything?”

before he could answer you, a figure enters the three broomsticks and sirius softly gaps, eyes widening in panic. “oh no, oh no.” sirius mutters, you and lily are now even more confused than before. you turn to him, “sirius what are you on-” the hand around your shoulder shuts you up. “i’m sorry, please just play along for a minute.” he whispers to you as he pulls you closer. “what-”

“sirius!” you see a girl approaching your table, her smile gradually fading as she gets closer, noticing sirius’ arm around you. “sirius, hey. i’ve been looking for you.” she greets him, ignoring both you and lily. “well, you found me. though, i am a bit busy. my girl can’t get enough of me. not that i’m complaining.” sirius smirks and gestures to you, placing a kiss on your cheek. you freeze, too stunned to speak. you see lily fighting off a laugh, hand coming up to cover her mouth, hiding her smile.

the girl’s face drops, shoulders sagging as she looks between you and sirius. “oh. well, whenever you’re free, let me know. i’d love to get to know you better.” her voice falters, doing her best to put on a smile. she straightens her shoulders and promptly exits the pub. once she’s out of sight, you slap sirius’ hand off your shoulder, “what in merlin’s name was that?” you raise your voice at him, lily finally letting out the laugh she’d been holding in.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. i panicked.” sirius puts his hands up in surrender, an apologetic look in his eyes. “that was you panicking?”

“that was i wanted to ask you before. i wanted to know if you were willing to pretend to date me, just until she’s out of my hair.”

your mouth hangs open at his request, you start shaking your head no. sirius takes a deep breath, closing his eyes almost as in preparation for what he’s about to say. “i didn’t want it to come to this but… you owe me.” 

“i owe you?” you questioned and he nods. you’re about to ask him what he’s on about but he beats you to it. “transfiguration, fifth year.” your eyes widen as you gasp. 

you were absolute shite at transfiguration and with owls coming up, you were getting nervous. it wasn’t your proudest moment, but you had practically begged sirius to help you. he agreed, thankfully. the two of you spent many late nights in the library, going over the material and eventually you got the hang of it, passing your exams with flying colors. you were extremely grateful for sirius’ help but you had felt bad about taking up so much of his time. he told you it was okay but you insisted that you ‘owe him one’. 

you let out sigh, “fine.” you agree half heartedly.

“thank you! you are heaven sent, did you know?”

 “what happened with transfiguration fifth year?” lily inquired, her interest now piqued. “he helped me with something so now i owe him a a favor.” your explanation was vague so lily made a mental note to interrogate you about it later.

“don’t you think that the little stunt you pulled earlier was enough to send her packing?”

sirius starts shaking his head no, “absolutely not. you heard her “whenever you’re free”. i called you my girl and she still persisted.”

“so what now?”

“nothing too extreme. we just have to be more affectionate from now on, at least when she’s around.”

“you mean like kiss?” sirius smiles at your question. “if it comes to that. but we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” 

you sigh as you face away from him, meeting lily’s eyes. a huge grin graces her face as she takes a sip from her butterbeer. “i think it’s a great plan.” she says and your eyes narrow at her. “oh, i’m sure you do. how long do we have to keep it up?” you ask sirius, eyes still glaring at lily. he shrugs, “a week, maybe a couple. if she doesn’t get the hint by then-”

“a couple of weeks?” you turn to look at a grinning sirius. this was going to be… interesting.

-

in the following weeks you and sirius fell into a routine of hand holding and lingering touches.  the girl, who you’d come to know as vivian morgan, was a year below you and sirius. meaning no classes together where you’d inevitably have to sit next to sirius. (and risk him distracting you. he’s proved to be very skilled at that.) your charade would only have to be kept up in the great hall and occasionally throughout the castle if she was nearby.

you’d found it rather peculiar how effortless it was for sirius to pretend the two of you were a couple. although it didn’t take long for you to get used to it as well. it felt natural and easy, a little too much. the way his hand found yours, the way he put his arm on your lower back as he guided you to your desired destination, the way the conversation between the two of you flowed so casually. it felt too natural, it felt real. 

you made a habit out of reading in the courtyard during your free period, today was no different. too engrossed in your book, you don’t notice when sirius sits down next to you. a hand around your shoulder startles you out of your trance. “sirius.” 

“hello, love.”

you ignore him and the tingling sensation from where his hand rests over your clothes, continuing with your reading. you feel sirius shuffle closer to you and rest his head on your shoulder to peer into the book in your hands. “oh, you’re studying.” he notes when he sees that you’re holding a potions textbook. suddenly his head shoots up from your shoulder, you turn to him in surprise. sirius digs into his pocket and pulls out a packet. “then you need this.” he holds up a packet of chewing gum. your eyebrows raise in question. sirius chuckles at your confusion, “doesn’t gum help you focus when you’re studying?”

“how did you know that?”

“well, i was your tutor all throughout last year. bound to pick up some things.” you nod at him, bottom lip tucked between your teeth.not knowing what to say, you turn back to your textbook.

it was unsettling how well he knew you, noticing your little habits, some of which you weren’t even aware of. 

“something wrong?” sirius asks suddenly. you look back to him, “why would you ask that?”

“you’re doing that thing where you bite your lower lip when something’s wrong or something’s bothering you.”

your eyes slightly widen at his assessment, unable to find the words to respond. “you do it quite often actually, makes me worry.” he adds. “you're… observant.” you finally manage. “when i want to be. so what’s on your mind?”

you shake your head, “nothing.” sirius doesn’t buy it. “come on, tell me!” he nudges you with his elbow. “really, it’s nothing-” he suddenly moves closer, hand coming up to rest on your cheek as he slowly turns your face, making you meet his eyes. his fingers move to tuck your hair behind your ear. your faces are inches away from each other. your breath hitches as he stares deeply into your eyes. “what are you doing?” you whisper.

his eyes flicker down to your lips before moving back up to your eyes. he leans in, but you freeze, unsure of his intentions. is he gonna kiss you? you hadn’t done that before. there’s a part of you that’s scared. but you’re not sure if it’s fear of the kiss itself or fear that maybe you might enjoy it. before you can decide, sirius mutters something. 

“vivian’s heading this way.”

your mood instantly deflates and you break eye contact, which seemed a lot more difficult earlier. “okay, she’s gone. that was close.” he breathed, letting go of your face as he moved back, putting some space between the two of you. 

you try to fight it, desperately pushing away that feeling of disappointment, but it makes its way through, filling you with frustration. none of this is real. you have to remind yourself of that quite often as of late. 

-

you’re not sure how much longer you can take this. this ruse of yours seemed to be taking an emotional toll on you. you find yourself wanting to be closer to sirius, but then you’re reminded of the real reason any of this is happening. and that’s the only reason he’s being so affectionate, the only reason he touches you. and why that upset you had been bugging you for a while, until recently. you denied it as much as you could, it was just the circumstance, is what you told yourself. but as the days went by it was much harder to convince yourself of that. so much to your dismay, you finally accepted it. 

you had feelings for sirius black. 

but now it’s all too complicated. you fear that any more of sirius’ fake affections would cause you to expose your true feelings. feelings which you were sure sirius did not reciprocate, he’s just a really good actor. for the sake of your heart, you decide to put an end to this charade. it had been long enough. if vivian morgan hasn’t come to her senses then that’s not your problem.

you find him in the great hall. taking a deep breath, remembering this is for the best. as you walk closer you notice sirius making his way over to the ravenclaw table. you raise your eyebrows in question when you see him taking a seat next to vivian. your heart drops as you see him lean closer to her. you force yourself to look away, storming out of the great hall as fast as your feet could carry you.

sirius finds you in the common room. you had a book in your hand, biting your lip, but it didn’t seem like you were reading. “hey, the others said they saw you, but you left rather quickly.” you barely reacted to his voice. when you didn’t answer, sirius walks over to you, sitting in front of you. “are you feeling alright?” still no answer. “y/n-”

“i saw you with her.” you cut him off, not meeting his eyes.

 “who? vivian? i was-” 

you interrupt him again, “what was the point of all this, sirius?” 

sirius is confused. “the point of what?” he asks. “this.” you gesture between the two of you. “you ask me to help get vivian off your back and after weeks of pretending, you decide to pursue her anyway. then why have we been doing what we’ve been doing?” you exasperate, finally looking up at him. “pursue? what are you on about, love.” he’s truly at a loss, wondering what caused your mood to change so suddenly. “sirius-”

“if you had a problem with this, you should’ve told me. i never wanted you to be uncomfortable.”

“i wasn’t uncomfortable. that’s the problem.” you mutter the last part, hoping he hadn’t heard it. “what does that mean?” sirius tilts his head in question. “nothing.” you quickly say, moving to stand up from the couch. 

“no, stop saying it’s nothing and actually talk to me!” sirius exclaims, making you jump. when he sees your wide eyes, he offers you an apologetic look. you stare at him for a moment before shaking your head. as you walk past him you hear him sigh, you don’t make it very far when you feel a hand curl around your arm and pull you back. you gasp as sirius’ hands reach up to cup your face. before you can say anything, sirius crashes his lips into yours. 

it’s alarming how easily you fall into it, deepening the kiss as your arms go around his neck, pulling him closer. his lips are soft, inviting and feel so good against yours. it takes everything in you to pull away from him. you let out a breath and sirius rests his forehead against yours. “sirius-”

“i wasn’t flirting with her. or pursuing her.” you’re both still trying to catch your breath. “then what-”

“i was telling her off. once and for all.” a smirk graces his face. “why?” you can still feel him on your lips, like he’s stained you. “so we could stop pretending,” he leans down, lips ghosting over your mouth. “and we could do this for real.”

your breath hitches, “do what?”

 a wide grin stretches across his face as he pulls you in once more. “this.” he whispers huskily and kisses you. you’re thankful he’s holding you or you surely would be falling to your knees. it feels as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can’t help but smile against him.

he breaks the kiss after a few moments. “you do feel the same, right? i mean, lily told me you might but-”

you cut him off with a laugh. “what are you laughing for?” he asks incredulously. “sirius, i am crazy about you. i thought it was you who didn’t reciprocate.”

“why didn’t you say anything before?”

“why didn’t you?

“i tried!”

“when?”

sirius thinks for a moment, “remember that day in the courtyard?” you nod. “well, vivian wasn’t actually heading our way. I couldn’t help myself! i wanted to kiss you but chickened out at the last moment.” 

you gasp, “sirius!” he chuckles at you, “and there may have also been a few times where she wasn’t even around but i wanted to hold your hand so i told you she was.”

when you’re silent, sirius fears he might’ve upset you. an apology sits on the tip of his tongue when he hears you giggle. “you are unbelievable. all this time. is that why asked me to be your pretend girlfriend?”

he nods shyly, “partially. it started off as just pretend, should’ve known i’d fall for you. but i really did want vivian to leave me alone, though.” 

“so what’d you tell her earlier then?”

“i told her that my heart belongs to you. and only you.”

“oh really?” you muse, arms going back around his neck, hands interlocked behind his head. he smirks, “yours to do with as you please.”  he hums.

“then i guess it’s only fair that mine is yours as well.” you touch your forehead to his. “what a high honor you’ve bestowed upon me, my darling.” 

: sirius black x fem!reader

: with NEWTs just around the corner, sirius is worried you’re pushing yourself to your limit

: maybe angst idk, fluff, grammar mistakes probably

: 1.6k

: i am a proud college drop out ,, but i needed this back then anyway enjoyy

your last year at hogwarts seemed bittersweet. since arriving in september, you had been constantly reminded with the fact that this was the last time you’d be roaming the castle, your last moments as a student. one one hand you were happy to finally be done with school, eager to start your career, but then on the other hand, in order to have a career in the wizarding world, you’d have to go through something excruciating, something you truly dreaded.

NEWTs.

becoming an auror also meant you needed excellent academic credentials, which meant a lot of studying, which meant most of your time was spent at the library. something your boyfriend, sirius, was not very fond of. call him selfish, but he missed spending time with his girlfriend. 

becoming an auror also meant you needed excellent academic credentials, which meant a lot of studying, which meant most of your time was spent at the library. something your boyfriend, sirius, was not very fond of. call him selfish, but he missed spending time with his girlfriend. 

of course, he knew what being an auror meant to you and he was one hundred percent supportive, but he could also see that you were exhausting yourself. anytime he saw you, your nose was buried in a textbook or going over your notes. he knew you were losing sleep, thanks to the map, he could see when you got out of bed to study in the common room. sometimes you would go so far as to sneak into the library. 

he’d confronted you about it before, telling you of his concerns for your wellbeing, but to no avail. you persisted that you still needed to study, not confident of your knowledge on a certain subject. it had been like this for months, but he kept at it, trying to convince you to let up. 

at one point sirius had enough, what started out as him just missing the company of his girlfriend turned into severe concern, you hadn’t even been to hogsmeade since coming back from christmas break. he wasn’t the only one who noticed, though. your friend and roommate, lily, had also tried to convince you take it easy, but  she was unsuccessful.

one night as sirius was checking the map, he saw your name still hovering in the library as it had been since dinner. grabbing the cloak and map, he decided to pay you a visit. his feet traveled quickly through the halls as he made his way to the library, making sure to hold the fabric over his figure, eyes occasionally scanning over the parchment in his hand, in case filch or a professor was nearby. 

once he was in the library, he immediately noticed your hunched over figure, a number of open faced books laid out on the table in front of you, your wand illuminating the dark. he sighed when he saw your tired eyes roaming over the pages, your mouth moving slightly as you read the words. 

slowly moving the cloak off his body, he carefully walked over to you. you were too engrossed to notice him, even when he cleared his throat. he was almost impressed when you didn’t bat an eye as he sat down in the chair next to you. 

he shook his head, “nox.” he whispered, the both of you now surrounded in complete darkness, which finally snapped you out of it. your head shot up as you let out a gasp, eyes squinting as you looked around warily. afraid you had gotten caught by a professor, until you heard a familiar voice, 

“finally. lumos.”

you let out a sigh of relief when the familiar face of your boyfriend came into your view, now illuminated by the light from his wand.  “sirius. what are you doing here?” you breathed out. he narrowed his eyes, “should be asking you the same thing, love. how did you manage to sneak into the library without getting caught?”

“i didn’t sneak in. i simply went to library after dinner. and i haven’t left so -”

“so technically you didn’t sneak in. cheeky little thing, you are.”

“what can i say? being the girlfriend of a marauder, you gain some tips and knowledge.” you give him a teasing smile. a silence falls upon the two of you. sirius looks down at the books on the table. you follow his gaze, sighing as you saw his slumped shoulders. “i know what you’re gonna say-”

“i don’t think you do.” he quickly interrupts you, eyes meeting yours. “sirius,” you start but he interjects once more, “you’re doing too much, y/n.

“no i’m not. NEWTs are important, sirius. i have to get good grades.”

“and you will, but you don’t have to study 24/7.” he whisper-yells. “i can’t even remember the last we hung out together.”

you started getting upset, your tired state blurring your emotions together, not recognizing the concern in sirius’ voice. “that’s what this is about? you’re upset because i don’t spend every waking moment with you? you do realize this is my future.”

“that’s not what this is about! and i’m not upset, i’m worried!” his voice slightly louder this time. he sees your eyes widen at his tone, closing his eyes as he tries to calm himself. 

“y/n, you barely eat, you’re losing sleep, you hardly take part in your friends’ conversations anymore. i’m just worried, love. so utterly worried”

“sirius-”

“no, please let me finish. i know you how much you want to become an auror and that you need to do good in your exams, but you’re wearing yourself thin. it’s not healthy, love.”

you turn your head, reluctant to meet his gaze. your eyes fall to the numerous textbooks in front of you, the words now jumbling together as you feel your breathing get heavier. you blink rapidly, vision getting blurry as your eyes fill with tears. your heart pounds, you can almost hear it thumping. the weight of the situation dawns on you when sirius puts a comforting hand on your back. its enough for you to break.

“it’s so much, sirius.” you finally cry out. tears now running freely down your face, shoulders shaking with each sob. sirius immediately brings you closer into his chest, cradling your head as you bury it in the crook of his neck. his hand moves soothingly up and down your back as you continue to cry into his sweater.

“i know, i know.” he whispers into your ear. “all these months i’ve spent yet somehow it feels as if i still know nothing.” you gasp in between breaths, voice cracking with each word. 

“i’m so tired.” you managed, having calmed down after a bit, tears still flowing but less sobbing. sirius’ can almost feel his heart breaking in half at the sound of your voice. “everything’s gonna be alright, darling.” he feels you shaking your head. “i feel as though i’m gonna fail.”

“you won’t.”

“i will. i can’t do this, sirius.” 

sirius grabs your face from the crook of his neck and gently moves you so he can look at you. “look at me, you can do this. but putting so much pressure on yourself,  working yourself to the bone just won’t do you any good. and you don’t have to do any of this alone, i’m here for you.” his thumb moves to wipe the still falling tears from your eyes.

“not just me. everyone’s worried. we all just wanna help. will you let me help?”

you take a deep breath, trying to find your voice, “how?” you manage to whisper. “we could study together? all of us, like a study group. or just you and me, though you might get distracted by my devilishly handsome good looks. close proximity and all.” he offers a sly smirk. you let out a small laugh, shaking your head at him.

 “but either way, we’re making sure that you take a break, several for that matter. merlin knows you deserve it.”

you let out a sigh, meeting those familiar grey eyes. “what if i still can’t do it, what if i still fail?” you speak softy. 

sirius tilts his head at you, “you’re one the smartest people i know and you’re so driven, i have not a single ounce of doubt that you will pass the exams with flying colours and become the best auror the wizarding world has ever seen. dark wizards shall tremble with fear at just the mention of your name.” he speaks with such confidence, you can’t help but smile as he presses a kiss to your forehead before resting it against his. you grin at him before leaning in, sirius meeting you halfway as your lips touch for what seems like the first time in forever. sirius wonders how he’s survived this long without it.

“thank you.” you whisper to him after breaking the kiss. “and i’m sorry, i know i’ve been difficult.” you add. “no need for apologies, darling. just want you to be okay. though if you’re in need of repentance, endless kisses would be greatly appreciated.” you giggle as you bring his lips to yours once more, arms going around his neck. 

“let’s get you to bed. tomorrow ‘s saturday so you’re sleeping in, no arguments.”

“i suppose i could use the rest. with these eyebags, it’s a wonder you haven’t run for the hills yet.”

sirius scoffs, “eyebags or not, you’re still the most gorgeous girl i have ever laid my eyes on.” he winks at you. “you sure know how to make hearts flutter, don’t you, mr. black.”

“but the only heart that matters is yours.” he quips, standing up from his seat, holding out his hand for you. you grab it, hanging your head to hide your flushing cheeks. sirius notices, smiling fondly down at you as he drapes the cloak over the both of you. 

in the morning, james potter wakes up to his friend’s empty bed, but all worry leaves him as he enters the common room and finds him curled up on the couch, you cuddled in his arms, the two of you wearing content smiles on your faces.