#spooky

It sure has been a year✨

spooky wip in the middle of summer

The time has come, the iheartvincentprice.tumblr.com blogger said, to talk of other things! You guessed it, dear cabbages – it’s time for another delightfully ghoulish Vincent Price movie review!

Our second review of the month concerns the “horror-comedy” The Raven (1963), starring Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, and, of course, Vincey. According to the always-accurate Wikipedia, The Raven was the fifth in a series of Edgar Allan Poe stories adapted to the big screen by horror king, Roger Corman.

Our story opens with another typical night at Sinister Castle de Vincent Price ® sometime in the 15^th century. As in The Pit and the Pendulum (am I detecting a theme here?), we find Vincey in mourning of his deceased wife, Lenore (Hazel Court), though as his cheeky blonde daughter (Olive Sturgess) gently points out, it has been two years since she died – ya think it might be time to start thinking about boarding the old “moveon.org” train?

But Vincent will hear nothing of it. His wife was an amazing woman – perfect, actually, and no one compares to her (holla Sinead O’Connor). So instead of nursing his broken heart by constructing a half-assed profile on OkCupid like the rest of us, Vincey busies himself with his nightly routine of listlessly dusting his wife’s coffin (which they keep…IN THE HOUSE???), quaffing goblets of hot milk, and repeatedly tripping over the huge telescope in his study (can you say sight gag?).

When suddenly, a crotchety, demanding raven swoops (literally!) into his life! Yes, cabbages, VP gets to play opposite an actual animal in this movie. Many actors consider this to be the ultimate pain-in-the-ass challenge, but being the talented, sexy beast he is, Vincey pulls it off effortlessly. 

The raven claims to be a man named Dr. Bedlo (Peter Lorre), who was transformed into a bird by the evil sorcerer, Dr. Scarabus (Boris Karloff). The kindhearted Vincey uses his own training in sorcery to help Bedlo return to his human form (at least partially).

After working out the kinks (I mean it is sorcery - you can’t expect things to be perfect right out the gate, y'all), Dr. Bedlo’s human body is fully restored. You’d think the movie would pretty much end right here, but nooooo: Lorre is thirsty for revenge on Scarabus! And he knows that Vincey has the skills of sorcery to help him take down the evil wizard!

At first, Vincent doesn’t want to get involved. Keep me out of this, man. Scarabus intimidates him, what with his ability to conduct magic with hand gestures alone! And as he points out: “Magic by gesture of the hands is the most advanced sorcery.” (good to know)

But Bedlo gets Vincent to change his mind after he says he saw Vincent’s wife’s ghost at Scarabus’ castle (I suspect foul play). Desperate to see his beloved wife again, he finally agrees to accompany Bedlo on his ill-advised revenge-a-thon. And after donning a stylish fur-trimmed coat and matching hat, they are on their way!

Accompanying them is Vincent’s daughter and Bedlo’s idiot son, played by some young oaf who seems to choke on his lines an awful lot. I wonder if this guy ever made it in Hollywood, or if he just vanished into the throes of oblivion like so many other ill-fated actors…

…oh holy crap, that’s Jack Nicholson! My bad.

This movie is totally more star-studded than I realized!

They arrive at the castle and meet the eve-ull Dr. Scarabus. And, uh, Vincent? That lovely dead wife of yours you revered so much? She never died. She just pretended to die so she could run away with Scarabus, cuz she’s attracted to power (duh) and Scarabus is the most talented sorcerer in all the land (…or ishe?*devious cackle*).

(By the way, this theme of dead wives turning out to be alive all along seems to be a pretty common thing with these movies, no?)

Of course, finding out your wife ditched you because you weren’t “magical” enough is the kind of thing that would put a damper on anyone’s day, but Vincey takes it in stride. I mean, let’s face it: it’s way easier to get over someone once you’ve realized they’re a shallow douchebag than when you thought they were your perfect dream girl/guy, right?

Towards the end of the movie, Vincent and Scarabus engage in a “duel to the death” (I LOVE these!), during which VP digs deep down and shows his magical stuff in order to defeat the evil homewrecker: he levitates in his chair and even shoots neon green animated sparks out of his fingertips

Super high tech stuff, homies.

It turns out, ol’ Vincent was holding out on us – and himself – all along: He is a great magician – he was just afraid of his own talent. Vincent defeats Scarabus and decides that he’ll never let his unique gift go to waste again.  

Quoth the raven, “NEVAHMOAH!”

The movie as a whole makes for a fun evening of horror-star-studded entertainment, and as fully expected, Vincent does an excellent job of bringing his unique brand of elegance to a comedic role. Seriously, the man was the epitome of elegance, yet he wasn’t afraid to chow down on a piece of screwball comedy pie from time to time.

It’s one of the many things that make him great – and the ultimate dead man crush.

Real talk. 

Happy Halloween !! Hope you have an awesome day

(The ‘Ghost Stories’ dub really is as insane as people say)

I’m a bit late posting this but happy october everybody!!