*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science
*the orange grows legs and skitters away*
Fascinating results *places a banana in the same spot*
*clawed hand reaches out of the ether and drags it into the ring, leaving ragged claw marks in the soil as it disappears, back into the ether from whence it came*
“let’s go to the extreme.” *places a pineapple in the same spot*
Real scientists would keep putting an orange in the same spot to make sure the results are consistent before moving on to other fruits or different spots.
So I have to share this. I was out of town for 3 days last week….and didn’t get any loving the days leading up to me leaving. Needless to say, I was a horny mofo when i got back late Friday night. Struck out in Saturday night (kids am i right?). But Sunday, i got a little something something.
Got the little ones to bed and as i lay on the couch to hang with the SO, she does the, “go get what you want” routine…stroke n Poke. I get the one we always use that has a little bullet vibe on the end, lay a towel down, grab the lube, strip down and wait.
She comes in, gives me a little suck and tells me to roll over. She lubes me up and gives me a finger. Not much longer I feel the head of the “blue” toy pressing against my ass. She slides it in. After as few strokes she turns the bullet on and starts working me. Feels awesome. Then, the bullet stops and she cant get it back on. I say, “go get your purple one” she says no I don’t want to hurt you, i say you wont,ill let you know.
I hope up and get it, squirt some lube on it and say give it a go. Now this “purple” one is one of the first vibes we (i) bought for her. Probably have only used it a handful of times. It has a rabbit vibe on top, then, what i call a thick and somewhat realistic (now thay I think about it, it has some kinda moldings on it…idk) then an anal tickler vibe. Also has two vibe controls.
I feel it press against my ass. She pushes a little harder, asking if i was okay each time she applies more pressure. It’s tight. Then, she gives it a mighty shove and it slides all the way in my ass. The feeling was surreal. I almost couldnt move. There was a hint of slight pain (or discomfort) but was overwhelmed by the pleassure…the fullness it gave me. The moans I was making confused her, she didn’t know if it was pleasure or pain. I told her to keep going. She worked it in and out, having to push it back in each time. This was the best part, the penetration feeling was unreal. I reach down and start to stroke myself and she has the vibe turned all the way up and working it in me with short strokes. I can’t hold it any longer and release.
I only hope this wasn’t the last time she uses it on me :)
The S.O. has been sick the last couple days so I’ve been tending to the little ones in the evening. She told me today that because I’ve been helping her out…shes gonna give me some good ol’ strap on lovin’….I hope she pulls through!! Stay tuned for the details….
“That’s right baby, keep nursing on my cock head. I’m gonna cum soon and I don’t want you to swallow it! Keep it all in your mouth, then you and that cuck husband of yours over there are going to make out. From now on no more open mouth kissing between the two of you unless one of you have my cum still fresh in your mouth, either from you sucking it out of me or him eating it out of that ass!”
The three of us were watching a movie, but my husband and his boyfriend couldn’t keep their hands off each other and about halfway through it they moved on to full on making out while I watched them. Luckily for me they did me a solid before hand and pulled off their socks, they know how much I love to mess around with their feet while they fuck around!
We haven’t really got much information on Baby from SVTFOE, so I thought it would be fun to draw her a background. When Glossaryk gets angry, it’s shown that a dark aura manifests around him. So I thought, from also reading about Kali, that when Glossaryk met and fell in love with himself… It was Baby or, at the time, Babyael. So some point a long time ago, Glossaryk got so mad that Babyael manifest herself from his forehead and started kicking ass. Baby is a lot of things but terrifying sums her up pretty well. Hailing from the pure reality of rage and corruption. Black mist follows her where ever she goes and often shapeshifts. She would often be in her adorable cat form but her true form is this four-armed lion deity that can easily get mad. You wonder why she doesn’t show up often… well… her and Glossy are taking a break… from the past couple thousand years.
Half of my childhood was spent worrying about not being close enough to Mama I think LOL. For the first pre-school class that I went to - the parents were allowed to sit outside for the duration just to help that transition for kids who weren’t used to being apart from their parents for very long (aka me). Of course as soon as I realised I could excuse myself to go to the bathroom - I used it as an opportunity to escape to Mama HAHA.
Currently at 15 push-ups (from a tabletop) per rep and the first rep isn’t raising my heart rate.
When I started out, I couldn’t do more than three, and my heart was racing and I was exhausted.
@imfemalewarrior you asked for progress: it took a couple of false starts, but here we are!
That’s awesome and you should be proud of your progress! It is so satisfying and encouraging to feel tangible results from our work to build these habits!
“You feel like home with your broken wings” with some bonus close up bits :) It’s one of this of my drawings that I feel weird about. From one side I’m happy that I’ve drawn it, and I really like some details. And from the other side something feels really odd. Maybe my expectations were a bit too high comparing them to my skill. Good thing is that my drawing skills deficiencies came out to the surface and now I can work on them. Making art and showing it to the wide public on social media can be tough, some of us are of being criticised, not getting a positive response or a lack of interest. Many of us are comparing themselves to others because yes, there’s always someone who is better. Someone…who you can learn from. So just keep and don’t worry too much. On the end of the day it’s just a “graphite on a piece of paper”.
I had a crush on this guy so my friends and I came up with a code name for him; ‘Charles’ - partly because he was British. Nothing happened between Charles and I. We both left school. Few years later I’m driving along and this iDiOt steps out in front of my car. I screech to a halt but sort of bump him and he falls over on the road. I get out of the car and run to check if this idiot is okay. It’s Charles. I scream, “Charles! What the fuck were you doing!” Because honestly I’m just so flustered. He gives me this really weird look “Who the fuck is Charles?” He says before passing out. He came to a moment later, he’s fine and I don’t think he really remembers what happened but long story short we’re going for coffee tomorrow!
Les Musiciens de Brême est un conte de Jacob et Wilhelm Grimm.
Ils se débarrassent des voleurs grâce à un plan : l'âne se met devant la fenêtre de la maison, le chien monte sur l'âne, le chat sur le chien et le coq sur le chat
(I know that #NotAllProfessors, but for the sake of the story)
I was just told that I cannot write a review of a book as “a student is not capable of assesing a professor’s work”. After I wrote a review of that book over a weekend, as they needed it asap. Thanks for nothing.
The whole story:
An e-mail came to my department that one colleague needed a review of book, that could be published pretty soon. My supervisor send them an e-mail, that I’ll do it, after me agreeing to it. The person receiving the e-mail CHECKED ME ON ACADEMIA.EDU, so they knew instantly I am a PhD student. Nevertheless, no reply. I wrote the review over the weekend, as the book is fairly short with extremely obvious shortcomings - first chapter was missing a conclusion, the book is extremely repetitive, mostly because every chapter was written by a different author and they didn’t consult enough.
The introduction is just random paragraphs from the studies clipped together. The authors are not native English speakers and it wasn’t edited and proofread enough, so it’s littered with missing punctuation, some words written in British English, some in US English. You know, mistakes that a student can very easily asses. And don’t even let me start about the poor methodology.
I’m mostly angry and sad. I hate that my work is assesed from the point of view, where it’s bad just because it’s written by a student. Zero constructive feedback. Nothing. This is sooo frustrating and idiotic.
47) waaay back in 2006, JB featured on Cbeebies Storytime(the BBC Children’s channel) telling 5 stories over 5 nights. Stories included a Pipkin of Pepper, The BumposarusandWinnie the Witch amongst others.
We know the perils of naming things as a GM. You might be too mundane: Bob, the bronze dragon of the southern coast. You might be too archaic: what do you mean the party can’t remember the archmage Zenithisces Miramandovion Shorfodorf?
We have tales of the GMs who created the legendary sword of Jeo’m Amah by mistake, or panic-named two people the same thing (shout out to Skinny Greg and Stocky Greg). But yesterday I think I ran into one that was my own dang fault.
Idea: say names out loud. Say them many times. If they are too fun to say, there will be problems. Do not by any means name your terrible monster “Klong” even if you want him to be a King Kong reference.
The Morrígan also known as the Phantom Queen, the Irish Goddess of war and death, member of the Tuatha Dé Danann. She is the jealous wife to the Dagda, and is associated with the Banshee. As is the case with many Irish deities, she is one of the first expressions of what Christians refer to now as “the Trinity,” to Pagans she is a “Triple Goddess.” She is displayed here as having three heads; she is a shape-shifter, sometimes explained as three sisters all manifesting as the same entity. In Irish myth, she can also shift into the shape of a raven and her appearance on the battlefield would signal who would reign as victor. Other stories indicate that she would shift into any shape that would allow her to meet her ends. She is also the Goddess of prophecy and fate who knows exactly how the end of the world will occur, she will share it with you, for a price.
Every summer, my entire family gather at my grandparents’ house for like the entire month to spend quality time and all. So out of everyone in my big ass family, I’m the designated babysitter. One night some of my nieces wanted to sleep in my room. I was reading a Camren one shot on my iPad while they were playing with their dolls. Then I left for a while. I had no idea how but THEY FUCKING OPENED MY IPAD WITH THE SMUT SCENE IN THEIR. I was so terrified when I got back and they were looking through my iPad. AND MY BIG SISTER WALKED IN THE ROOM.
Niece 1 : why are they cutting each other with scissors?
Niece 2 : what’s a smut?
Me : Nothing. It’s for big girls only.
Big sis : It’s about anatomy, sweetie. Rossie’s studying to be a doctor.
Me : *fucking relieved* Exactly, so you can’t read it.
So we went to talk to this couple, and apparantly they were already with another couple which was very attractive, talking and flirting. So we talked a little and it became clear the other two couples liked us too and soon one of them invited us to their place. We knew what was coming - and we happily accepted their invitation.
So there we are, half an hour later, all 6 of us sitting on a couch, me and the other men drinking a beer. The atmosphere was great, relaxing and very comfortable which was all due to the other couples who were amazing people as we realized pretty soon. It didn’t take long though for one guy to say “ok, let’s get started” and so we moved on to the bedroom. There was this huge bed in the middle of the room and the other couples started to go right at it. They told us we can watch at first if we want to but we can also participate right away, whatever makes us feel more comfortable. Of course we wanted to start with the fun right away! But the problem was: This situation was so unreal, so new, so exhilarating, I had a rather hard time (pun intended) to get hard. The others noticed and were pretty cool about it, apparantly that’s what happens to most men when they are in a situation like this for the first time. So they told the girls: “alright, we go smoke a cig on the balcony, you girls take care of him!”
The Return of Amphitrite (2020, Inspiration for the wedding wreath taken from a pinax from Corinth 575–550 BC)
Amphitrite in Greek mythology is a water nymph, the wife of Poseidon, and one of the many daughters of Nereus (the old god of the sea) and his wife Doris. She sparked Poseidon’s interest with her dancing skills but she was just playing. When he asked her to marry him she ghosted hard to Atlas leaving him on read until he sent a smooth as butter, dolphin shaped god, named Delphin to talk her into coming back. “Medusa was just a friend, you could be queen of all the seas.” he told her, and who could deny such logic? The dolphin was transformed by Poseidon into the constellation delphinus as a reward for the return of his future queen. Amphritrite liked Delphin so much she made dolphins a mortal thing as well as seals and arguably narwhals because narwhals must be something mythological, they’re SEA UNICORNS!
prints and other goodies available through Society6 .
I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best
Fuckin A my awesome dudes! Wear whatever. Go outside that comfort zone. As long as the clothing brings you joy and there is something over your genitals, then I say go for it. ^_^
So at around 7:40ish i was standing outside my workplace(obviously very dark) waiting for my parents to pick me up and there was this man there holding a baby (young dad, probably in 20s and Im assuming he was waiting for his wife or fam that were still inside and after a minute he started talking to me (im assuming he assumed I worked there cuz of my clothes and I had my purse)
Like how they love going to the store cuz you can find everything there and whatnot and he mentioned the baby a few times so ofc I said the baby is adorable (cuz he was adorable) and he says the baby is 7 months (still normal convo)
AND THEN he goes “I like it (parenthood) …feels like it/he gives me something to live for ya know?”
And I smiled and nodded cuz aww thats adorable but I was thinking WHY IS THIS STRANGER TELLING ME HIS DEEP THOUGHTS AT NIGHT IN THE DARK OUTSIDE
Ok so basically me and homeboy were in the kitchen and he took a shot of vodka and gave one to me and put the lime in his mouth and French kissed me which was hot he also choked me numerous times and had his hands on my ass but that’s normal so me and him were chilling in the living room and I texted him that I’m horny and he said he was too and everyone else was in the kitchen playing a game and getting high so we dipped off to the bathroom and he fingered me and ate me out so he puts on the condom and pushes it in and that’s when I felt everything and he asked if he should stop I said no and he got himself all the way in so I got through that it hurt but it wasn’t terrible so we do that position again where I was on the counter looking like a cricket and we switch doing doggy on the ground that was nice and he went deeper every thrust so then I rode him which was hard and then someone knocked on the door obviously the guys knew we were fucking so we went downstairs for a bit I got water and chips and then I’m like I’m still horny let’s go back upstairs so we did and we did doggy standing up which was magnificent omg he kept coming out and plunging back into me each time it felt like an orgasm so we switch and I try to ride him again but the dick kept slipping out but he gave me a hickey on my boob but we switched to missionary and that was the one that made my night but while we were getting ready for missionary he ate me out and fingered me again but anyways back to missionary he choked me and was like whos pussy is this and me being the asshole I am I said you don’t know him which he choked me harder and asked again then I submitted and said it was his I accidentally said I love you twice but we laughed it off afterwards and then we moved back to the sink and we tried again with that it didn’t work out so much but his friends came up and was like my friend has to get up early tmrw so we’re about to dip so we got dressed I called my mom and we went downstairs and cuddled watching Netflix with our friends
Ok so basically we were at a party and I purposely didn’t wear panties bc I know something was gonna go down and I had on biker shorts and a shirt so the first incident was homeboy and a couple others were playing a card game (I wasn’t) and he grabbed my thigh then moved it up (something slight) so the next incident is when I went to the kitchen to get water and he smacked my ass 2x the first harder than the second and he choked and kissed me a little before that too the next incident is when me and him were in the kitchen alone shortly after that and I gave him the look and he curled his fingers mimicking him fingering me and for some reason that shit is a turn on so he grabs me pulling me on him my back to his chest and he wraps his arms around my waist putting his face in my neck and then he was playing like ard get off me and I was like oh bet don’t touch me no more and I walked away to a nearby wall where everyone couldn’t see us (they couldn’t anyways but still) and he grabbed my neck choking me harder and he whispered stop playing with me GIRLLLLL I almost gave him a son so we started making out my arms around his neck his hand was real close to down there and I’m like you are not doing that here so he was like let’s go upstairs and I was like bet so we quietly ran upstairs and into the bathroom and we kept the lights off I wasn’t worried about that he started fingering me and omfg It felt so good and I came and he kept going so after that he asked if I wanted to fuck ofc I said yea he grabbed a condom and it was too small but he still put it on and we tried putting it in and it wouldn’t go in so I was kinda mad so we alternated between fingering me and tryna put it in so then we tried doggy and he had to squat down to put it in still didn’t go in so he fingered me again and RUBBED MY CLIT AND BIT MY ASS girl I was no good so then I came like twice then got back on the counter and tried to put it in now the head went in but his dick kept bending which I didn’t know that could happen so still all of him would’ve fit in me so then he fingered me again and he was kissing my neck and kissing my boobs then he went down and bit my thigh that shit was heavenly so he gets on one knee and starts eating me out and fingering me at the same time I stg I cane twice from his tongue then he took his fingers out made me cum on his tongue again A GIFT then we tried to stick the dick in still didn’t work his fingers almost ended up in my ass but we were laughing about it and the dick too so he was like I want you to suck it say less I got on my knees and started throating dick and he was face fucking me I was playing with his balls but remember I’m still new to this and he was helping me so I got up and we tried doggy one more time my leg was on the counter and it didn’t go in so I’m like ok we can try again another time and he’s like yea so he put someone else’s Shorts on and I turned on the light and we started dying but I couldn’t walk my legs were shaking so bad omg but I had to sit down and when I heard my friend say my mom is outside I dashed downstairs weak legs and all and I left mom didn’t notice shit but after my muscles were so sore cause I was basically in an upside down cricket position on the counter im saying I lost it bc the head went in and when I got home later I was bleeding a little (it’s normal girlies I’m ok)but uhhh yea I saw him last night and he fingered me in the car and I rubbed his dick ALL WHILE MY MOM WAS IN THE CARR! Scandalous
one time I was staffing a Very Important Party and I was in charge of making sure all the guests taking the elevator from the ground floor knew which floor to get off at. I asked a guy which floor he was heading to. He looked me up and down and just went “who the FUCK are you.”
me: “I’m just trying to make sure you get to the right floor sir”
him: “do you KNOW who I AM?”
Me: “no? …are you heading to the 16th floor?”
he’s now visibly flustered and just yells “FUCK YOU” and gets on the elevator.
to this day I have no idea who he was or if he even made it to the party. his loss.
This was a fun book to read to the kids, they got a serious kick out of all of the giant vegetable illustrations someone really ought to make some sort of animated adaptation of Wiesner’s works, they’re great #librariansofinstagram #librarian #books #storytime #readaloud #davidwiesner https://www.instagram.com/p/CVN_3TkpsRl/?utm_medium=tumblr
