I finally finished this Taako fanart that’s been sitting in my WIPs for ages!

inspired by one of @careydraws panels from the The Adventure Zone: Crystal Kingdom graphic novel!

BUNNY HEIST

I made a Bunny Heist based off of the TTRPG Honey Heist for my Niblings for this Easter Weekend. Thought I’d post it here if anyone wants to use it. It’s untested, so I don’t know if it’s too easy or too hard or just right - so the GM may need to adjust as they go! I am using the rules to a Honey Heist variant, literally called “Bunny Heist”. Those rules are here: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/309130

Grow-N-Show Garden Extravaganza!

The Bald Hare is a rabbit so old that he has lost all his fur.  He is the head of the Bunny Boys, a gang of bunnies who run/terrorize your burrow community.  The Bald Hare has found out he doesn’t have long to live and he will be passing the gang down to his grandson, Peter Rabbit.  But before his time is done, he wants to send a group out for one last big score – enough food to hold the biggest retirement banquet one could ever throw.  To do that though, he needs a buttload of veggies and nomnoms.  The rest of the Bunny Boys are busy dealing with Farmer Maggot and his scarecrow.  So The Bald Hare is putting together a ragtag group of criminal rabbits to go on this job. 

A young hopper shows up at your doorstep with a summons from the Bald Hare.  DIALOUGE FROM THE YOUNG HOPPER.  Will you answer The Bald Hare’s summons?

You head to a large hole in the ground.  The round green front door is answered by a hare named Harry.  DIALOUGE FROM HARRY.  He takes you into a room where an old, furless hare sits in a rocker.  He welcomes you in.  “Thank you for coming,” he says.  Though you know that no one EVER refuses an invite from The Bald Hare. DIALOUGE FROM THE BALD HARE.  He tells you of his retirement and his plan for a huge banquet.  Then the surprise comes…he intends for you to get the food he requires from the Grow-N-Show Extravaganza!   It’s the biggest garden show in the whole state!  It’s the ultimate score.  Like if you were a human robber robbing the biggest casino in Las Vegas?  Like that!  The Grow-N-Show Extravaganza is the big score for any bunny.  No one has ever pulled it off.  And the trick is?  This year it is being held at the most dangerous Farmer’s Market around – Nuthanger Market.  Oh, those sellers at the market act like they are hippies who love all creatures. But if you try to steal their veggies and other goods?  They will make a hat out of you! 

You know better than to refuse The Bald Hare though.  So you take the job.  He introduces you to your team.  INTRODUCTIONS.

You know you have three choices for how to get there.  1) you can go to Farmer’s Maggots and attempt to steal his truck, but you’ve heard he has a dog.  2) you can try hitchhiking on The Highway, but you’ve heard it’s dangerous and can lead to “Roadkill”.  3) Or you can try hopping there, but that’ll take longer and you could arrive tomorrow evening, when the Extravaganza is already over.

It is mid-afternoon when you set out.  The Bald Hare’s daughter, Lil Bunny FooFoo, gives you each 2 pieces of carrot cake for your journey. (These will help you feel more Bunny-like.  You can also do a flashback to a criminal activity you engaged in, to feel more Criminal-like.)

***

Farmer Maggot’s:

You are hiding in the bushes next to the fence leading into the crop area of the farm.  You see many growing crops; mushrooms, potatoes, carrots, etc.  The farmer’s house is a ways off from the crops, but the barn is within a few hops.  And next to the barn?  You see Farmer Maggot’s truck. You can also hear the sound of a dog barking from somewhere, but you cannot see it.  

You must find a way through the fence and to the truck without being seen.

YO, GM…if anyone rolls a 6 for anything, Bunny Boys show up to raid the farmer’s crop and cause Farmer Maggot to come out of his house and chase you around with a pitchfork.  Everyone must give successful Bunny Rolls to hop away from him safely.

If they fail to get through the fence, they get stuck on the fence and must find a way off.  

If they fail to hotwire the truck, they alert the dog to their presence and must find a way to distract him.

Once they are through the fence and have started the truck, they can drive away to the highway.  See DRIVING ON HIGHWAY.

Hitchhiking:

If you decide to hitchhike, go to The Highway. To hitchhike, you must con passerbys into thinking that you are human so they will give you a ride.  This takes a Criminal Roll.

If They Get Picked Up…You are picked up by a lovely fellow named Arthur with a stack of towels in his car. He says he is a towel salesman and that one should never leave home without a towel.  He looks at you and says, “I see you are all wrapped up in your fluffy towels.  Good for you!”  He then offers you each a free navy blue towel to take with you.

If They Fail At Hitchhiking (each party member gets one try): You know you could try hopping to market still. Though you don’t know if you will arrive too late (SEE HOPPING TO MARKET).  Or you could try moving further down the highway to see if there is a better spot for hitchhiking.  What will you do?!

YO, GM…if anyone rolls a 6 for anything, a police officer rolls up in a car and tells them hitchhiking is dangerous and illegal!  They must 1) con him into leaving them alone and if that fails 2) he arrests them and they must find a way out of the back of the police car.

…If no one is successful at hitchhiking, they may try HOPPING TO MARKET or try walking along the road until they come across a broken-down car on the side of the road.  They must do a Criminal Roll to get it up and running.  Or they can hop their way to Nuthanger Market by getting 2 successful Bunny rolls in a row. (SEE HOPPING TO MARKET).

Hopping To Market:

To hop to the market, first you must hop across The Highway, which takes a Bunny Roll.  (If anyone fails to cross the Highway, they have to hop backwards out of the way of a car and try again). 

Once Across The Highway, you must hop all the way to Nuthanger Market fast enough to get there before it closes in a day and a half – this also takes a Bunny Roll. (If anyone fails this roll, they hurt their foot hopping and must walk more slowly, meaning they won’t make it there in time.)  But then they come across a broken-down car on the side of the road and try to take that instead. (They must do a Criminal Roll to get it up and running).  

YO, GM … if anyone rolls a 6 for anything, they come across an actual river and must cross that as well.  They can either try hopping across with a Bunny Roll or steal a rowboat sitting there with a Criminal Roll.

Driving On The Highway:

YO, GM … if anyone rolls a 6 for anything, they are in a car accident and must get out and try hopping or hitchhiking.  They can also try fixing up the car, but they each get one roll or a police officer will show up to the scene of the accident.  (SEE HITCHHIKING FOR DEALING WITH POLICE OFFICER).  

…The only thing that happens while driving is that they pass by a car with a young girl in the backseat, waving at all the cars going by.  If they wave back, they must do a Criminal Roll to see if they pass as human – if they fail this roll, the mother driving the car notices that they are bunnies and calls the police.  If this happens they can try to take a different route to evade the police (THERE IS A MAP IN THE GLOVE BOX IF THEY SEARCH THAT, Roll with Advantage to evade the police because of the map) or they can pull over for the police (in which case, SEE HITCHHIKING FOR DEALING WITH POLICE OFFICER).

They also must do a Criminal Roll for driving, just one roll from the driver to see if they make it to the market without forgetting how to drive.

If they search the glovebox, there is a map and a swiss army knife.

***

NUTHANGER MARKET

YO, GM … If they successfully steal Farmer Maggot’s truck or successfully hitchhike without incident, they arrive in the evening of Day 1 of the Extravaganza, while it is still open.  If they have to do 2 things, say hitchhiking + broken down car, or hitchhiking + hopping, then they arrive in the nighttime on the first day.  If they must hop all the way there, they arrive in the morning of the last day, while the market is open.

Nuthanger’s Market is at a county fairground.  There is a front gate and a back gate to the fairgrounds. There are brick walls around the fairgrounds.  There is a carnival with rides and such set up for the market as well; carousel, kiddie coaster, swings, tilt-a-whirl, kiddie copters, bumper cars, swinging pirate ship and a row of fun carnival games.  There is a small convention center building, CitiBank Building, where they have indoor art shows and the like.  There is a single barn.  There are 2 large semi-trucks with the words Karnival Koasters written on the side. And there are rows of tables and stalls about.  

Arriving When It’s Closed

The front and back gates are closed and locked with a chain and padlock.  The carnival rides and games are all shut down for the night.  The CitiBank Convention Building also seems to be shut down for the night. The barn doors are closed. Off in the distance, you can see the shine of a flashlight.

YO, GM … Things they might try:

Sticking their little paws through the gate and picking the lock.  (WITH ADVANTAGE IF USING THE SWISS ARMY KNIFE)

Hopping the fence.

Calling out to the person with the flashlight (the security guard) and conning him. (WITH ADVANTAGE IF THEY USE THE TOWELS FROM ARTHUR TO MAKE A COSTUME)

Once Inside…you find all the vendor stalls & tables empty.

YO, GM … if anyone rolls a 6 for anything… the security guard will come across them and they must either evade, distract, attack or con him. UNLESS THEY HAVE CAUSED A DISTRACTION FIRST.

If They Investigate The CitiBank Building, they find a front and back door, both locked for the night with a security pad. There are also windows, high up, hoppable for a bunny, but the windows are closed.  Through the windows of the building, they can see many of the produce and food has been moved inside for the night.

If They Investigate The Windows Specifically, they find there are no sensors on the windows.  

If They Search The Barn, the doors are not locked and they find bunny hutches and chicken coups inside, all with bunnies and chickens in them.

Things they might try: 

Getting the security guard to let them in to the CitiBank Building.

Hacking the security pad on the doors.

Breaking the window (Criminal Roll) & hopping into the building, then opening it from the inside.

Ramming the doors with the trucks.

YO, GM … they can use the carnival trucks to stash more food with a Criminal Roll for driving.  The keys are literally in the ignitions.  But they hafta deal with the security guard asking questions.  

Arriving When It’s Open

The gates are open, but the Extravaganza is in full swing.  There are people everywhere.  You can see the doors to the CitiBank Building standing wide open.  People are coming and going from the barn.  The carnival rides and games are all operational. 

YO, GM…

Things they might try: 

Pickpocketing someone for their credit guard and buying all the produce, if they can pass as people.

Causing some sort of major distraction that empties the place out, like sabotaging one of the rides or driving one of the trucks through the crowd.

Passing as a health inspector who confiscates the food.

Telling a cop there’s a bomb so they empty the place out.

Posing as a bunny with a sign that says “Feed This Bunny” so people just hand over their food.

***

Once They Have The Produce

It takes one Criminal Roll to drive back home.

The Old Bald Hare welcomes you with open arms, on this the day of his retirement.  You are viewed as “alright fellows” by the Bunny Boys.  Peter Rabbit says he looks forward to offering you more jobs in the future.  You have done The Big Score!  You are now renowned in the Bunny Crime World!  

YO, GM…DIALOGUE, JUST A LITTLE TO WRAP IT UP

earthmoonlotus:

“I don’t think that every villain in the world actually thinks they’re being a good guy, but I do think that everybody creates a value system that justifies the actions they’re taking, and and I think there’s a difference between those two things. Not everybody believes that they’re on the side of righteousness, but everybody has a way of justifying the actions they’re taking. Not every villain has to be a misunderstood hero, and in fact I think there are a lot of instances throughout history of people who were obviously doing the wrong thing and probably had an understanding of that on some level, but had some rationale or justification for it. A lot of villains in literature and media have these weird, Thanos-esque philosophies of what it is that they’re trying to do, and I think human motivation tends to come from more primal places than that. So a lot of the villains I write can be brilliant or clever (and, in fact, probably should be), but their motivation tends to be primal. They wanna be rich, they wanna have power, they wanna live forever. There’s something deep down that is, when you break it down, not too complex. Right? If you look at the real world, the people that are doing bad stuff don’t need complex motivations. They wanna rule the world! They wanna be rich! They wanna be unafraid that other people can ever screw them over, so they screw other people over. Evil is boring. Right? I kinda believe in the banality and mundanes of evil. Evil is just selfish impulses, which at the end of the day are really easy to understand. It’s easy to understand why people do bad things. It’s like “yeah, ok, you’re selfish and scared and cruel, I get it”. Being good is complex and beautiful and hard.”

—

Brennan Lee Mulligan, when asked how to create villains for ttrpgs

(I found this quote to be really meaningful in like…life in general which is why I posted it here. When he said “evil is boring”, it felt like something clicked in me that I had known deep down but hadn’t had the words for.)

I just realized a probably very obviously fact chain…

1. In the 5th edition of Vampire the Masquerade, there’s a new antagonist for the vampires in the form of the Second Inquisition. Who are, among other things, spies, right? Like, they are the reason Camarilla is refusing to use cell phones and the Internet and the Anarch are very careful about using both—because the Second Inquisition might be watching, and all that.

2. One of the lead designers for V5 is Kenneth Hite.

3. Who earlier authored another vampire-themed tabletop game: Night’s Black Agents, an investigative spy thriller based on the GUMSHOE system where the players take the roles of secret agents fighting against vampires who are secretly ruling the world or at least pulling the strings of certain important organizations. 

4. …I’m sure this is just a coincidence, right?

This kinda makes me want to run an NBA campaign set in the World of Darkness with the PCs as the members of the Second Inquisition. Gotta check my friends’ interest…

Chessex lab dice, oceanic nebula