#1 am thoughts
i last cut my hair when you were awake,
when hair hung below my ears but above my shoulders
ive had it grow long for years you have been gone
kept it around for the sake of our fate
an act of self-preservation i thought
or for what now seems as delusion.
ends split,
dead weight remained from the mess i became
i cut it off, like a noose to life
defying the odds
i restore my truth.
a dream is a spiders web
entangling, but a home
each thread a bed for rest
each rest an ungraceful wed,
reminders of sacred times
where reality is on lucks side.
light breaks, such illusions dissipate,
within seconds of awakening the dream is dead
the grasp loosened, the home gone
— and the web is weak filament, almost false,
leaving purpose stranded
with no patience to hold
and its spider noiseless within calamity
hate never fumed in me as much as it has since i last saw you
dead weeds ripped from my roots and the hate swooped through
transplanted and bloomed all ready to weave around like your noose
it attracts all toxic traits, greed and rage
consuming its prey, there is no dying light only a blinding one
i cannot go gentle, i cannot go at all
rage, rage, there is no good night
only hate eats
and love breathes steadily,
then falls asleep
on your chest
where nothing beats.
poison remains in my eyes
because you’re forever not in sight
but i cut hate’s stem now and again
hoping you’ll revisit and make your amneds
or that this revival will
somehow mend the wounds of hate,
so my soul could breathe again
we would talk about the rain
and wish it would pour on us for days
hope for long trips to sights
we’ve never seen before.
letting things slip,
the mind unravels what once was
right in front of us
but which now lays behind
with you beneath to only wish
on the possibility
of our dreams
being alive,
wherever you reside.
follow the shadows of the leafless trees
each route a different one
where a new life has sprung.
even in conditions of weariness
the shadows lead to
a place for you
to confide or to lose
everything you ever knew
before stepping foot
in a path never took
“As soon as I said it aloud, my chest caved in and all that was in my heart spilled and created my passage of suffering.”
- c.c // when i said you are gone
you wander through the waves
but your body lays buried
and your philosophy decays
each day you attempt to salvage our moments
where our lips met or cursed
where our hands gripped or stayed loose
and though the past is over and done with
you’ve created waves to crash through my brain
where these moments leak to my mind
giving your philosophy new life
and you remain through the salvaged kisses and moments
until i join you for what is left of our voyage
“The world tricks you into thinking there’s a limit to your existence, when in reality the world has no idea of the universes’ entirety.”
- c.c
“Look down the bottles neck and you’ll see what your life has been.”
- c.c
“Madness swarmed my soul then turned it into gold.”
- c.c
Someone once asked me what the most powerful thing in the world was. I could have said money or power or even love, but instead I said words.
Almost:
He almost loved her.
She almost stopped caring.
Theyalmost made it.
Sometimes:
SometimesI want to die.
Its okay sometimes to be sad.
Sometimes I still miss him.
Always:
Iwill always love her.
He is always on my mind.
Anymore:
I don’t love you anymore.
Words. They change the world around us. They change us. They changed me. I changed others with them. And that is what makes them so powerful.
