#twcprose

Pause

A soft wind blows through the grass,

As soft as her fingers through my hair,

It rattles the chains of the nearby swingset,

Accompaniment to the quiet sounds of trafic on an empty street.

Her smile is cool and gentle,

I see its outline while squinting up at her,

The blue sky halos her head like a crown,

My head is resting on her lap.

I kiss her hands as she smooths my stubbly face,

The whole world erases itself, save this park on the side of the road

It’s a good afternoon….

strangers dancing on tongue

twirling with delight

beating to devilish drums

sweet to bitter back to sweet, one two one

no in between — no other routine

here, then there, then here

swift, trodding by air

begging for touch to not

burn this time but to

intertwine and find me at

the bottom of the glass or

your throat

i last cut my hair when you were awake,

when hair hung below my ears but above my shoulders

ive had it grow long for years you have been gone

kept it around for the sake of our fate

an act of self-preservation i thought

or for what now seems as delusion.

ends split,

dead weight remained from the mess i became

i cut it off, like a noose to life

defying the odds

i restore my truth.

a dream is a spiders web

entangling, but a home

each thread a bed for rest

each rest an ungraceful wed, 

reminders of sacred times

where reality is on lucks side.

light breaks, such illusions dissipate,

within seconds of awakening the dream is dead

the grasp loosened, the home gone

— and the web is weak filament, almost false,

leaving purpose stranded

with no patience to hold

and its spider noiseless within calamity

the sun danced on Ector street

warming each home and those who roamed

I was only a visitor at the time,

life had wings and flowed with each breeze,

every hope and dream breathed from the concrete — the roots of your home

sun rays gleamed from and at you all at once

we couldn’t see past each beam

blinded by light or love

and we shared it unequally.

we rise and fall like each passing day,

we failed to last our eternity

or perhaps we have just begun—

the sun still dances on Ector street

maybe that is us.

we would talk about the rain

and wish it would pour on us for days

hope for long trips to sights

we’ve never seen before.

letting things slip,

the mind unravels what once was

right in front of us

but which now lays behind

with you beneath to only wish

on the possibility

of our dreams

being alive,

wherever you reside.

open wounds laid on the bed

safe for them to take their meds

open wounds make people cringe

too gruesome for them to understand

open wounds from a pen

bleed red

from delirious wolves who devoured the flesh 

open wounds from your own head

written for all to live and say aloud instead

follow the shadows of the leafless trees

each route a different one

where a new life has sprung.

even in conditions of weariness

the shadows lead to

a place for you

to confide or to lose

everything you ever knew 

before stepping foot

in a path never took

day breaks into new

for some to fly or fall;

you watch them scatter around trying to find their place in

fields of eight foot sunflowers or treacherous minefields

with their teeth out for the world to see they are happy

or expressionless to keep trespassers away;

you witness the madness in a new day

watching hope play mind games of her own

where sunrise is an imposter for change, and merely a chance for all

either to fly or to fall.

i store sunshine in a jar

pour her out when i am alone

run her through my hair

drizzle her on clouds for all to see

from a far away place unknown.

i use her to dilute all infiltrations of you,

making what all was once dark blue

shine bright as if brand new

sway from one side to the other

dance like you’re on waves

cause a storm inside their brains

capture them in your tempest

you are the mastermind who tied all the ropes

that knots your fans captive,

wrapped them into a delusional frenzy

but you hope they survive to see another day

because they are now your eyes,

seizing another opportunity at life

but thinking with your mind;

they watch the rain fall and wish it would drown them away,

they become enigmatic

while you attempt to connect through them,

but it is too late.

they have indulged you whole and your nourishment awoke them to frames never known before,

ones not in your own arsenal.

out of touch you stay

watching your tempest take place

in a far away life now

emptying the bottle you despise

for its creation of the noose

that took you down.

soulisticwrites:

“The world tricks you into thinking there’s a limit to your existence, when in reality the world has no idea of the universes’ entirety.”

- c.c

“Look down the bottles neck and you’ll see what your life has been.”

- c.c

“Madness swarmed my soul then turned it into gold.”

- c.c

I climb into the covers and try to hide the shame that I feel.

Trying to keep you from seeing how much I want to be destroyed;

let me be missing in action. Bottom of the ocean kind; washed

away, sins taken off of the skin I could never love. Full of hatred and

then… Release. Completely undone, my sobs sound like screams

being choked out; I can’t get ahold of the air. Underwater I struggle to

push myself out of the depths, out of the sadness [brokenness]

that I can’t help but embrace. [What would I be without this pain?]

You try to comfort me and I spit venom in your eyes just

to get you to turn your face away from mine, embarrassed by

the reflection of myself in your eyes. Yet you come back,

you take the shirt off your back to wipe away the poison

and wrap your arms around my body until I can no longer

fight you. Tears roll down my face as I gasp for air;

shivers run down my spine as you kiss away all of the pain

until I’m numb. I can’t feel anything except the high that you

bring to the forefront of my mind. You whisper, “rest” but

I can’t. I dig my claws into your back and bring your flesh to

mine; ecstasy taking away the sadness and replacing it

with lustful love. Addicted to the way you make me feel I

beg for it until you’re exhausted. I take until you break and

then the shame washes over me again. A sick cycle I can

never seem to break.

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than a Flower

We find each other again;

we melt into words that lead

to actions that cause feelings

to explode into the space that

we thought would be empty

forever. We crawl through the

briers that grew from trauma,

stress, and silence; misunderstandings

leading to mistrust and heartbreak…

Knees bleeding, we remember

who we are. In the light and in

the shadows; finding each

other’s lips, fingertips, and

hearts still alive; still grasping

for one another’s flesh…

For one another’s affection,

validation, love. We admit

that we will never find

another connection like ours

and we give into the raw.

We give into the now. Where

pride and fear of rejection no

longer exist… Where we’re

more than flaws and perfections.

We see the damage done and

kiss it away; begging for forgiveness

from one another until the days

become lighter and the love

becomes fuller. We remember

what it is to love; teenagers again

looking into each other’s eyes

accepting that we’re so flawed…

But so loved.

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than A Flower

There were no flowers left. No card to display. There was no breakfast in bed. No celebration. There were no words said. Instead, the children went on with their day - laughed & played amongst those who raised them. But, the one they wanted most never made it home to greet them..

Darling, you gotta believe in yourself. Choose yourself. Show up, be aware, and present for yourself. Put in the time and dedication needed while doing the work. Take care of yourself. Heal. Make a mends. Forgive and forget. Make sure you’re okay mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically while always doing your best. You deserve to live life and thrive. You are loved. You are cherished. You are intelligent. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are everything you’re supposed to be. You don’t have to hide it. And, yes…you have flaws. A few of them. But, those things often change overtime. You have all that you need to have all that you want. You don’t have to ask for anything. You don’t have to beg for nothing. You don’t have to hide or minimize who you are. You are exactly who you’re supposed to be. Live your life. Gather your tribe. Manifest your dreams. Build your kingdom. Do what you like and love. Try what you hate and learn what you don’t know. Experience and explore this world and all that it has to offer you. There are blessings hidden within everyday with your name on it. Each day is a gift, every moment is a present. Be willing and open to criticism and learning. Be honest and truthful about yourself and others. Love yourself. Hug yourself. Date yourself. Let go and live. Don’t be afraid of the unknown or confused about what is know. Don’t fear anything at all. Go with the flow of what you’ve been called, positioned, and purposed to do. Embrace yourself. But, most of all…get rooted. Build yourself a solid foundation, safe haven, and home. For yourself and others by knowing who you are, what you stand for, & why. Never straying away from your truth. All of this your responsibility. This is how you discover your true identity. Take accountability over it. There is great power inside you. You deserve to be celebrated and known. Your DNA is one of a kind. You matter just as much as everyone else. There is no one else just like you. So, come on…tell and show the world who you are. Don’t hold yourself back or limit yourself. We’re all dying to know the real you. This is your time. Introduce yourself. “Hi, my name is…”