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[why did i even leave if you still haunt me]

Fri, 10 Aug 2018 20:01:06

You don’t have to feel sorry for your abusers. They made their own bed, now they have to lie in it. They have to face the consequences of their actions.

#emotional abuse #abusers

@abuse-support-posts

Sun, 13 Oct 2019 20:54:06

theconcealedweapon:

[image description: tweet by Caleb Roehrig (@MikalebRoehrig): “I’m going to let you all in on a little secret I’ve learned from being Old and Gay T M. Being nice to abusers, or those who ally with an abusive power structure, does not teach them you deserve humane treatment; it teaches them that you find the abuse reasonable.” /end description]

#abusers

@orwellsunderpants

Thu, 09 Jun 2022 10:55:53

psychabuse101:

When an abusive person discovers that you have a “safe place”, they will try to take it from you, prevent you from accessing it, or try to use it against you.
If this “safe place” is something like a private blog, or physical diary you use to journal all your thoughts and feelings and process them, they will go out of their way to find and read the information in them.
If this “safe place” is a group of friends, or social event you spend time at, they will prevent you from being able to see them or go there, or even insist they accompany you in an attempt to infiltrate it.
Preventing the victim from seeing friends, attending events, or using social medias can also be a form of deliberate isolation, which is an abusive tactic in it’s own right.
They will also usually feign innocence, and claim that they’re only trying to help you, or “understand you better”, and then try to guilt trip you into feeling like the bad guy for not wanting your privacy violated. They may even try to turn the roles on you, claiming “you’re so distant” or “you don’t talk to me” and the like, to try and make it look like they are the victim in the scenario.
In the case of blogs, if it has a completely different name and use picture to your known online name, then a manipulator who has found it and read it has taken time and effort to do so.
In the case of a diary, that you keep private, hidden away, or carry on your person, you know that the person who found it and read it has gone to effort and trouble to do so.
With both blogs and physical diaries, they will often claim to have found them by accident.
This is hard to dis-prove, and may even be true in some cases. However, it is important to remember that just because someone -found- a private blog or diary, does not give them the right to read it. Especially if they know who it belongs to, and are aware that the contents are somewhat private. This is willful breaking of boundaries and privacy violation.
It is important to note that even if you leave your diary out on a table in a family room, that is still not an invitation to read it!
Some manipulators may claim to have read parts of it by accident. Either they saw you typing, or saw you writing, and read what you were writing before realizing what it was. Or they claim to have found and read the journal, before realizing who it belonged to and what it was.
This is almost always a lie, but again, is hard to dis-prove because it is completely possible.
However, it is important to remember that when faced with sensitive personal information about someone else, the healthy, normal thing to do is to keep the information private.
These things happen sometimes, people learn private details about others lives sometimes. But they keep quiet about it until the person involved comes forward about it themselves.
(Of course this applies only to social and personal matters, if the information pertains to a crime, the appropriate thing to do is go to the police).
If the manipulator does not realize that what they have done is wrong, now having found and read the victim’s personal thought-processing, will often confront the victim about it. They will say “how dare you say this about me”, and “how dare you say that about them”, guilt tripping and blaming the victim for having negative thoughts, and not at all addressing their boundary-breaking to have gotten this information!
Whether the abuser themselves was actually mentioned in the private journal does not matter, often they assume things to be about them, to facilitate their victim complex.
If the abuser was named personally in the private journal, it still was not their place to look for and read that information.People have to process negative thoughts all the time, even about people they love and care for, that is a normal, healthy, human trait.
Alternatively, if they know that what they have done is not okay, they may not confront the victim at all, and will instead simply start giving them the cold shoulder, or being passive-aggressive towards them publicly. Or, if they read some private information about the victim, they will start talking about issues affecting the victim, and will feign ignorance about knowing that it affects the victim.
This is particularly toxic, because it is so hard to prove. The manipulator will always deny doing these things, because they know they are in the wrong, and they know that admitting they are punishing the victim for something they said privately means admitting that they violated the victim’s privacy.
This can lead to a gaslighting effect on the victim, because they don’t know what is wrong, and they may start to suspect that the manipulator has read their journal. But they can’t prove it, and the manipulator will not admit to any of it, so they have to start questioning themselves. They start telling themselves that they’re being over-suspicious, and that they are being “crazy” for suspecting something.
All of this plays nicely into the manipulators hands.
People who have been subjected to this kind of abuse often take to having “decoy” journals. Whether they’re online blogs or physical diaries, they keep semi-private, for the abuser to read, and have their true thoughts documented elsewhere, under tighter security.
This behavior is absolutely indicative of being psychologically abused by having their privacy violated, either currently or in the past.
In the case of the “safe place” being a group or event, the tactics employed by a manipulator to prevent the victim attending can, again, range from covert to overt.
This one is also complicated by the ages of the people involved, especially if the abuser is a care-giver and the victim is a minor in their care. It can also be influenced by the child rights laws per country.
If the abuser and victim are both legally adults (even if they are parent and their adult child), then it is less complicated and more obviously outright abuse.
The manipulator will usually start trying to prevent their victim gaining access to their safe place because they have noticed that the victim is pulling away from them in some way. Either the victim no longer obeys them without question, the victim is more confident in their body or hobbies, or the victim is simply not as scared anymore when the abuser tries to scare them.The abuser will notice that they are losing control. They may read it as a slight, or as abandonment. (many manipulative people site a fear of abandonment as their driving force for their restricting and isolating behaviors. This is not an excuse and does not make it okay. They need help for their abandonment issues, not to be allowed to abuse others).
They will try and pull the victim back under thumb, and prevent them accessing this outside influence. Overt tactics involve the manipulator explicitly telling the victim they are no longer allowed to see particular friends or go to particular events. No reasoning will be given for this, often no discussion of the subject will be allowed, they will simply forbid it.
If discussion is attempted, they may shut it down by saying that “you don’t respect me if you want to disobey me”, or may even manufacture a sob-story to guilt-trip the victim into doing as they are told.
Or, they may be more covert, and simply always have other plans come up when the victim is due to go out. They may suddenly say “no, you cant go out until you’ve finished this long list of chores!” or “oh, but I need you to stay home tonight to do xyz”. This will be something that has not been discussed previously, and is suddenly put upon the victim forcing them to cancel last-minute.
A truly intelligent, toxic, abuser may even pretend that they did tell the victim before hand about this task on this day, they will tell the victim that they must have forgotten, and gaslight the victim into believing that they simply forgot.
Some manipulators may try to come with the victim to the events or to see the friends.
This is more obvious as a sign something is wrong when the abuser is a parent accompanying child (even if the “child” is an adult themselves now). It can be very hard to spot as a manipulation tactic if both parties are either partners or friends. Because it is normal for a partner to want to meet their significant others friends, and it is normal for a friend to want to be introduced to your other friends.
However, if they start to prevent you seeing them alone, especially if they give a sob-story about why you cannot see your other friends without their presence, then something is deeply wrong.
It is important here to note that many victims who start to notice that their abuser is giving them the cold shoulder, are often accused by that abuser of engaging in this isolation tactic!
Fortunately, the simple way to tell the difference is to ask about how they behave otherwise. Often, the victim who is being cold-shouldered will be able to point to other manipulative behaviors shows by the abuser, and will mention that they have been cold and standoffish at home, as well as no longer inviting them out.
A manipulator who is trying to isolate their victim will often resort to claiming that the friends or event are “bad” in some way and that they are protecting the victim.
It is also important to establish the connection each party has with the event or group of friends. If the victim introduced the abuser to the other friends, and the abuser is now seeing those friends while excluding the victim, they may accuse the victim of “trying to prevent them seeing ‘their’ friends”, but in truth the manipulator is deliberately isolating the victim from their own support network, and painting it as abuse, trying to gaslight the victim in to believing they are in the wrong.

#emotional abuse #psychological abuse #personal boundaries #abusers

@clinicallydepressedpug

Mon, 13 Jun 2016 15:07:08

12/30/19

#gaslighting #npd abuse survivor #npd abuse #npd abuse recovery #npdsurvivor #emotional abuse #abusers #mental abuse #domestic abuse #abuse survivor #red flags #zero contact with abusers #zero contact #healing from abuse

@peacefulwarrioring

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 13:52:27

UPDATE: April 30, 2016: River’s/Cavebae’s new blog is wokebae

~~UPDATED: AUGUST 13, 2015: CAVEBAE HAS CHANGED BLOGS. Her current blog is dadamime~~

UPDATED JULY 6 - She has changed her URLs so I thought I’d update this

WARNING this post will contain content such as sexual harassment, gender dysphoria, perhaps transphobia/disregard for gender dysphoria, asexual erasure, homophobia maybe (homophobic stereotypes), ageplay

I originally made a vague post regarding my ex-partner (see here) because I saw people reblogging her posts, and it was making me uncomfortable.

Now, however, after speaking with other people about her, I have discovered that her behavior is not all-that new and she has treated multiple people the same way as me.

Thank you selchidh for also providing screencaps.

So I’m making an official callout post for River AKA tumblruser cavebae/~~biologiclust (NSFW)/dicksploiter~~ for sexual harassment

She has attempted to harass anyone who reblogs this post (only on anon though) information here

Edit: She made her own “callout post“ accusing me of necrophilia and animal abuse. Also involves more asexual erasure and disregard for the fact that I have always been open about my sexual confusion/asexuality. (warning for ableism at some parts)

More Info: Screencaps from June 3, more asexual erasure, blatant ableism

Her two callout andblogs are still up

Information under readmore

River and I started "dating” during sometime early April. It had started out as sexting when she informed me that she wanted help getting off because the birth control pills she was taking were increasing her sex drive.

However, after a couple of days of just teasing/sexting, things soon progressed to the point where she confessed she “loved” me.

However, it should be known that she was extremely persistent with her advances and “confessions”.

It was my first “relationship” (something that she was aware of) and I had told her multiple times that I wasn’t too comfortable with relationships, especially extremely romantic sexual ones.

Despite being told this, she would send me multiple messages (majority of them being sexual) per day.

I’m not going to upload all the screencaps in this one post because there are A LOT, but I will link them

They are all NSFW

This is only perhaps half of the messages she sent me over a span of two months.

When I had told her her sexual advances made me uncomfortable (for reasons that I have a history of sexual assault, gender dysphoria, and general confusion about my sexual) she would typically “play the victim”, or try to “comfort me” in order to be more sexual

Here is a chat log I had with River explaining my gender dysphoria and just general dislike for my body

[I then proceeded to tell her about my experiences of being sexually harassed as a teenager, and just the bullying I went through in high school]

This is all she really had to say about the matter. This chat was from April 20.

Even after this discussion, she still continued to send me sexual messages. They became more graphic, too, asking for specific role playing (particularly anything involving incest). She would also send me videos and nudes regularly.

It had gotten to the point where I could no longer handle her sex drive when she had decided to send me sexual comments when I was going through a difficult time with my dad. I had made posts about it during the time (and she saw, because she commented on them) about how my dad was in Moncton during the Moncton Shootings.

zh also informed me that River had disgregarded my sexuality/confusion with my sexual multiple times before, even insinuating that because I enjoyed gay porn I wasn’t asexual

Anyway, after that incident, I had told River that I wanted to break up (sometime on June 14 - I can’t remember the exact date) after she had sent me several incoherent/hostile messages because I was I was acting silly during one of her video game streams

These are only some of the messages I received

A couple days after she had unfollowed me and no longer spoke to me. I had thought it was the end of everything, however, it turned out that she was telling people that we were still together (screencaps provided by zh again)

I had just found out about this literally like, 3 days ago too when zh had told me (my own screencaps)

Afterwards, I was extremely upset and began to basically blog about my displeasure about finding out River was lying to people about our relationship, which caused her to send the following asks present in this post

I have heard that this behavior is not necessarily new for River - however I will not speak about the experiences of other people as I do not have their permission.

This post is mostly about my own interactions with River and how she treated me. I made this post in order to warn others that she is extremely manipulative and does not understand the meaning of “no”.

#masterfox3000 #cavebae #wokebae #crimewave420 #databemine #homophobia #asexual erasure #ableism #transphobia #callout #callout post #signal boost #abusers

@callout-cavebae

Mon, 02 May 2016 05:47:29

UPDATE: April 30, 2016: River’s/Cavebae’s new blog is wokebae

~~UPDATED: AUGUST 13, 2015: CAVEBAE HAS CHANGED BLOGS. Her current blog is dadamime~~

UPDATED JULY 6 - She has changed her URLs so I thought I’d update this

WARNING this post will contain content such as sexual harassment, gender dysphoria, perhaps transphobia/disregard for gender dysphoria, asexual erasure, homophobia maybe (homophobic stereotypes), ageplay

I originally made a vague post regarding my ex-partner (see here) because I saw people reblogging her posts, and it was making me uncomfortable.

Now, however, after speaking with other people about her, I have discovered that her behavior is not all-that new and she has treated multiple people the same way as me.

Thank you selchidh for also providing screencaps.

So I’m making an official callout post for River AKA tumblruser cavebae/~~biologiclust (NSFW)/dicksploiter~~ for sexual harassment

She has attempted to harass anyone who reblogs this post (only on anon though) information here

Edit: She made her own “callout post“ accusing me of necrophilia and animal abuse. Also involves more asexual erasure and disregard for the fact that I have always been open about my sexual confusion/asexuality. (warning for ableism at some parts)

More Info: Screencaps from June 3, more asexual erasure, blatant ableism

Her two callout andblogs are still up

Information under readmore

River and I started "dating” during sometime early April. It had started out as sexting when she informed me that she wanted help getting off because the birth control pills she was taking were increasing her sex drive.

However, after a couple of days of just teasing/sexting, things soon progressed to the point where she confessed she “loved” me.

However, it should be known that she was extremely persistent with her advances and “confessions”.

It was my first “relationship” (something that she was aware of) and I had told her multiple times that I wasn’t too comfortable with relationships, especially extremely romantic sexual ones.

Despite being told this, she would send me multiple messages (majority of them being sexual) per day.

I’m not going to upload all the screencaps in this one post because there are A LOT, but I will link them

They are all NSFW

This is only perhaps half of the messages she sent me over a span of two months.

When I had told her her sexual advances made me uncomfortable (for reasons that I have a history of sexual assault, gender dysphoria, and general confusion about my sexual) she would typically “play the victim”, or try to “comfort me” in order to be more sexual

Here is a chat log I had with River explaining my gender dysphoria and just general dislike for my body

[I then proceeded to tell her about my experiences of being sexually harassed as a teenager, and just the bullying I went through in high school]

This is all she really had to say about the matter. This chat was from April 20.

Even after this discussion, she still continued to send me sexual messages. They became more graphic, too, asking for specific role playing (particularly anything involving incest). She would also send me videos and nudes regularly.

It had gotten to the point where I could no longer handle her sex drive when she had decided to send me sexual comments when I was going through a difficult time with my dad. I had made posts about it during the time (and she saw, because she commented on them) about how my dad was in Moncton during the Moncton Shootings.

zh also informed me that River had disgregarded my sexuality/confusion with my sexual multiple times before, even insinuating that because I enjoyed gay porn I wasn’t asexual

Anyway, after that incident, I had told River that I wanted to break up (sometime on June 14 - I can’t remember the exact date) after she had sent me several incoherent/hostile messages because I was I was acting silly during one of her video game streams

These are only some of the messages I received

A couple days after she had unfollowed me and no longer spoke to me. I had thought it was the end of everything, however, it turned out that she was telling people that we were still together (screencaps provided by zh again)

I had just found out about this literally like, 3 days ago too when zh had told me (my own screencaps)

Afterwards, I was extremely upset and began to basically blog about my displeasure about finding out River was lying to people about our relationship, which caused her to send the following asks present in this post

I have heard that this behavior is not necessarily new for River - however I will not speak about the experiences of other people as I do not have their permission.

This post is mostly about my own interactions with River and how she treated me. I made this post in order to warn others that she is extremely manipulative and does not understand the meaning of “no”.

#callout #callout post #masterfox3000 #signal boost #wokebae #crimewave420 #databemine #cavebae #abusers #manpilation #ableism #transphobia #homophobia

@callout-cavebae

Sat, 30 Apr 2016 19:57:04

UPDATE: April 30, 2016: River’s/Cavebae’s new blog is wokebae

~~UPDATED: AUGUST 13, 2015: CAVEBAE HAS CHANGED BLOGS. Her current blog is dadamime~~

UPDATED JULY 6 - She has changed her URLs so I thought I’d update this

WARNING this post will contain content such as sexual harassment, gender dysphoria, perhaps transphobia/disregard for gender dysphoria, asexual erasure, homophobia maybe (homophobic stereotypes), ageplay

I originally made a vague post regarding my ex-partner (see here) because I saw people reblogging her posts, and it was making me uncomfortable.

Now, however, after speaking with other people about her, I have discovered that her behavior is not all-that new and she has treated multiple people the same way as me.

Thank you selchidh for also providing screencaps.

So I’m making an official callout post for River AKA tumblruser cavebae/~~biologiclust (NSFW)/dicksploiter~~ for sexual harassment

She has attempted to harass anyone who reblogs this post (only on anon though) information here

Edit: She made her own “callout post“ accusing me of necrophilia and animal abuse. Also involves more asexual erasure and disregard for the fact that I have always been open about my sexual confusion/asexuality. (warning for ableism at some parts)

More Info: Screencaps from June 3, more asexual erasure, blatant ableism

Her two callout andblogs are still up

Information under readmore

River and I started "dating” during sometime early April. It had started out as sexting when she informed me that she wanted help getting off because the birth control pills she was taking were increasing her sex drive.

However, after a couple of days of just teasing/sexting, things soon progressed to the point where she confessed she “loved” me.

However, it should be known that she was extremely persistent with her advances and “confessions”.

It was my first “relationship” (something that she was aware of) and I had told her multiple times that I wasn’t too comfortable with relationships, especially extremely romantic sexual ones.

Despite being told this, she would send me multiple messages (majority of them being sexual) per day.

I’m not going to upload all the screencaps in this one post because there are A LOT, but I will link them

They are all NSFW

This is only perhaps half of the messages she sent me over a span of two months.

When I had told her her sexual advances made me uncomfortable (for reasons that I have a history of sexual assault, gender dysphoria, and general confusion about my sexual) she would typically “play the victim”, or try to “comfort me” in order to be more sexual

Here is a chat log I had with River explaining my gender dysphoria and just general dislike for my body

[I then proceeded to tell her about my experiences of being sexually harassed as a teenager, and just the bullying I went through in high school]

This is all she really had to say about the matter. This chat was from April 20.

Even after this discussion, she still continued to send me sexual messages. They became more graphic, too, asking for specific role playing (particularly anything involving incest). She would also send me videos and nudes regularly.

It had gotten to the point where I could no longer handle her sex drive when she had decided to send me sexual comments when I was going through a difficult time with my dad. I had made posts about it during the time (and she saw, because she commented on them) about how my dad was in Moncton during the Moncton Shootings.

zh also informed me that River had disgregarded my sexuality/confusion with my sexual multiple times before, even insinuating that because I enjoyed gay porn I wasn’t asexual

Anyway, after that incident, I had told River that I wanted to break up (sometime on June 14 - I can’t remember the exact date) after she had sent me several incoherent/hostile messages because I was I was acting silly during one of her video game streams

These are only some of the messages I received

A couple days after she had unfollowed me and no longer spoke to me. I had thought it was the end of everything, however, it turned out that she was telling people that we were still together (screencaps provided by zh again)

I had just found out about this literally like, 3 days ago too when zh had told me (my own screencaps)

Afterwards, I was extremely upset and began to basically blog about my displeasure about finding out River was lying to people about our relationship, which caused her to send the following asks present in this post

I have heard that this behavior is not necessarily new for River - however I will not speak about the experiences of other people as I do not have their permission.

This post is mostly about my own interactions with River and how she treated me. I made this post in order to warn others that she is extremely manipulative and does not understand the meaning of “no”.

#callout #callout post #signal boost #sexual harassment #manipulation #transphobia #databemine #masterfox3000 #wokebae #cavebae #crimewave420 #abusers #ableism #homophobia #asexual erasure

@callout-cavebae

Sat, 30 Apr 2016 06:37:14

Mod Note: Nick, also known as chev or chevreau, is no longer active on tumblr.

He has given me this blog so I could continue to spread awareness of River, also known as cavebae or masterfox3000.

In the recent months, River has tried to intergrate back into the social justice community, depsite the fact that when they were harassing Nick, they claimed otherwise.

She also continues to keep her ableism blog active(archive screenshot here) despite apparently believing in social justice. Here is proof that this is her blog.

She also continues to communicate with popular figures in the social justice community, such as crimewave420. Nick has informed me that Jared and River were friends on facebook. From looking at River’s blog, she still lists them as a friend.

Whether Jared was unware of River’s behavior or chosed to simply ignore it, Nick feels that they should be addressed as well, considering they’re prominent in the social justice community yet continue to associate with River.

I will leave the original callout is it is, however I will add some more trigger warnings to it: #ageplay #incest roleplaying

End of mod note.

ORIGINAL CALLOUT BY CHEVREAU/NICK BELOW

WARNING this post will contain content such as sexual harassment, gender dysphoria, perhaps transphobia/disregard for gender dysphoria, asexual erasure, homophobia maybe (homophobic stereotypes)

I originally made a vague post regarding my ex-partner (see here) because I saw people reblogging her posts, and it was making me uncomfortable.

Now, however, after speaking with other people about her, I have discovered that her behavior is not all-that new and she has treated multiple people the same way as me.

Thank you selchidh for also providing screencaps.

So I’m making an official callout post for River AKA tumblruser cavebae/~~biologiclust (NSFW)/dicksploiter~~ for sexual harassment

She has attempted to harass anyone who reblogs this post (only on anon though) information here

Edit: She made her own “callout post“ accusing me of necrophilia and animal abuse. Also involves more asexual erasure and disregard for the fact that I have always been open about my sexual confusion/asexuality. (warning for ableism at some parts)

More Info: Screencaps from June 3, more asexual erasure, blatant ableism

Her two callout andblogs are still up

She goes by the username masterfox3000 as well

Information under readmore

River and I started "dating” during sometime early April. It had started out as sexting when she informed me that she wanted help getting off because the birth control pills she was taking were increasing her sex drive.

However, after a couple of days of just teasing/sexting, things soon progressed to the point where she confessed she “loved” me.

However, it should be known that she was extremely persistent with her advances and “confessions”.

It was my first “relationship” (something that she was aware of) and I had told her multiple times that I wasn’t too comfortable with relationships, especially extremely romantic sexual ones.

Despite being told this, she would send me multiple messages (majority of them being sexual) per day.

I’m not going to upload all the screencaps in this one post because there are A LOT, but I will link them

They are all NSFW

This is only perhaps half of the messages she sent me over a span of two months.

When I had told her her sexual advances made me uncomfortable (for reasons that I have a history of sexual assault, gender dysphoria, and general confusion about my sexual) she would typically “play the victim”, or try to “comfort me” in order to be more sexual

Here is a chat log I had with River explaining my gender dysphoria and just general dislike for my body

[I then proceeded to tell her about my experiences of being sexually harassed as a teenager, and just the bullying I went through in high school]

This is all she really had to say about the matter. This chat was from April 20.

Even after this discussion, she still continued to send me sexual messages. They became more graphic, too, asking for specific role playing (particularly anything involving incest). She would also send me videos and nudes regularly.

It had gotten to the point where I could no longer handle her sex drive when she had decided to send me sexual comments when I was going through a difficult time with my dad. I had made posts about it during the time (and she saw, because she commented on them) about how my dad was in Moncton during the Moncton Shootings.

I had told her I was not in the mood and continued to ignore her messages for the rest of the night. She handled this very poorly and continued to send me messages while speaking poorly about me to selchidh/zh (who provided the following chat):

[14-06-06 12:08:40 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: I honestly do not get what people wouldnt get out of pandering
[14-06-06 12:09:08 AM] cafeniu: huh
[14-06-06 12:09:17 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: Like really what would be the reason to even keep me
[14-06-06 12:09:51 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: If hes being ok to stay with me then why
[14-06-06 12:10:02 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: Hes forcing
[14-06-06 12:10:10 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: To be ok with me
[14-06-06 12:10:13 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: But WHY
[7:37:42 PM] cafeniu: [14-06-06 12:23:20 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: Ughhjjjj
[14-06-06 12:23:23 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: -
[14-06-06 12:24:19 AM] cafeniu: ???
[14-06-06 12:25:15 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: THINGD
[14-06-06 12:25:17 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: S
[14-06-06 12:25:30 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: I DON T GET IT I TRIED !
[14-06-06 12:26:39 AM] cafeniu: agh
[14-06-06 1:04:24 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: WE TALKED
[14-06-06 1:04:26 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: ITS OK
[14-06-06 1:07:14 AM] cafeniu: how it go
[14-06-06 12:56:32 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: i overreacted i think but then again so did he
[14-06-06 12:56:45 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: we were both sad
[7:38:00 PM] cafeniu: [14-04-30 12:55:27 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: im gonna find chev and just FUCK
[14-04-30 12:55:37 AM] pontata: isnt chev asexual
[14-04-30 12:55:39 AM] pontata: i forgot
[14-04-30 12:55:48 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: not really
[7:38:09 PM] cafeniu: [14-06-06 12:01:39 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: also he didn’t comfirm as asexual he just said “wow i thought i might be”
[14-06-06 12:01:51 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: I really don’t get it.
[7:38:59 PM] cafeniu: [14-06-05 11:57:47 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: I think im being dumped
[14-06-05 11:58:03 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: by chev because he thinks im using him for sexual narcism
[14-06-05 11:58:11 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: when im just… really power bottom

zh also informed me that River had disgregarded my sexuality/confusion with my sexual multiple times before, even insinuating that because I enjoyed gay porn I wasn’t asexual

Anyway, after that incident, I had told River that I wanted to break up (sometime on June 14 - I can’t remember the exact date) after she had sent me several incoherent/hostile messages because I was I was acting silly during one of her video game streams

These are only some of the messages I received

A couple days after she had unfollowed me and no longer spoke to me. I had thought it was the end of everything, however, it turned out that she was telling people that we were still together (screencaps provided by zh again)

I had just found out about this literally like, 3 days ago too when zh had told me (my own screencaps)

Afterwards, I was extremely upset and began to basically blog about my displeasure about finding out River was lying to people about our relationship, which caused her to send the following asks present in this post

I have heard that this behavior is not necessarily new for River - however I will not speak about the experiences of other people as I do not have their permission.

This post is mostly about my own interactions with River and how she treated me. I made this post in order to warn others that she is extremely manipulative and does not understand the meaning of “no”.

#abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #ableism tw #sexual harassment tw #callout #cavebae #masterfox3000 #crimewave420 #signal boost #abusers

@callout-cavebae

Wed, 06 May 2015 16:03:28

Mod Note: Nick, also known as chev or chevreau, is no longer active on tumblr.

He has given me this blog so I could continue to spread awareness of River, also known as cavebae or masterfox3000.

In the recent months, River has tried to intergrate back into the social justice community, depsite the fact that when they were harassing Nick, they claimed otherwise.

She also continues to keep her ableism blog active(archive screenshot here) despite apparently believing in social justice. Here is proof that this is her blog.

She also continues to communicate with popular figures in the social justice community, such as crimewave420. Nick has informed me that Jared and River were friends on facebook. From looking at River’s blog, she still lists them as a friend.

Whether Jared was unware of River’s behavior or chosed to simply ignore it, Nick feels that they should be addressed as well, considering they’re prominent in the social justice community yet continue to associate with River.

I will leave the original callout is it is, however I will add some more trigger warnings to it: #ageplay #incest roleplaying

End of mod note.

ORIGINAL CALLOUT BY CHEVREAU/NICK BELOW

WARNING this post will contain content such as sexual harassment, gender dysphoria, perhaps transphobia/disregard for gender dysphoria, asexual erasure, homophobia maybe (homophobic stereotypes)

I originally made a vague post regarding my ex-partner (see here) because I saw people reblogging her posts, and it was making me uncomfortable.

Now, however, after speaking with other people about her, I have discovered that her behavior is not all-that new and she has treated multiple people the same way as me.

Thank you selchidh for also providing screencaps.

So I’m making an official callout post for River AKA tumblruser cavebae/~~biologiclust (NSFW)/dicksploiter~~ for sexual harassment

She has attempted to harass anyone who reblogs this post (only on anon though) information here

Edit: She made her own “callout post“ accusing me of necrophilia and animal abuse. Also involves more asexual erasure and disregard for the fact that I have always been open about my sexual confusion/asexuality. (warning for ableism at some parts)

More Info: Screencaps from June 3, more asexual erasure, blatant ableism

Her two callout andblogs are still up

She goes by the username masterfox3000 as well

Information under readmore

River and I started "dating” during sometime early April. It had started out as sexting when she informed me that she wanted help getting off because the birth control pills she was taking were increasing her sex drive.

However, after a couple of days of just teasing/sexting, things soon progressed to the point where she confessed she “loved” me.

However, it should be known that she was extremely persistent with her advances and “confessions”.

It was my first “relationship” (something that she was aware of) and I had told her multiple times that I wasn’t too comfortable with relationships, especially extremely romantic sexual ones.

Despite being told this, she would send me multiple messages (majority of them being sexual) per day.

I’m not going to upload all the screencaps in this one post because there are A LOT, but I will link them

They are all NSFW

This is only perhaps half of the messages she sent me over a span of two months.

When I had told her her sexual advances made me uncomfortable (for reasons that I have a history of sexual assault, gender dysphoria, and general confusion about my sexual) she would typically “play the victim”, or try to “comfort me” in order to be more sexual

Here is a chat log I had with River explaining my gender dysphoria and just general dislike for my body

[I then proceeded to tell her about my experiences of being sexually harassed as a teenager, and just the bullying I went through in high school]

This is all she really had to say about the matter. This chat was from April 20.

Even after this discussion, she still continued to send me sexual messages. They became more graphic, too, asking for specific role playing (particularly anything involving incest). She would also send me videos and nudes regularly.

It had gotten to the point where I could no longer handle her sex drive when she had decided to send me sexual comments when I was going through a difficult time with my dad. I had made posts about it during the time (and she saw, because she commented on them) about how my dad was in Moncton during the Moncton Shootings.

I had told her I was not in the mood and continued to ignore her messages for the rest of the night. She handled this very poorly and continued to send me messages while speaking poorly about me to selchidh/zh (who provided the following chat):

[14-06-06 12:08:40 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: I honestly do not get what people wouldnt get out of pandering
[14-06-06 12:09:08 AM] cafeniu: huh
[14-06-06 12:09:17 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: Like really what would be the reason to even keep me
[14-06-06 12:09:51 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: If hes being ok to stay with me then why
[14-06-06 12:10:02 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: Hes forcing
[14-06-06 12:10:10 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: To be ok with me
[14-06-06 12:10:13 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: But WHY
[7:37:42 PM] cafeniu: [14-06-06 12:23:20 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: Ughhjjjj
[14-06-06 12:23:23 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: -
[14-06-06 12:24:19 AM] cafeniu: ???
[14-06-06 12:25:15 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: THINGD
[14-06-06 12:25:17 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: S
[14-06-06 12:25:30 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: I DON T GET IT I TRIED !
[14-06-06 12:26:39 AM] cafeniu: agh
[14-06-06 1:04:24 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: WE TALKED
[14-06-06 1:04:26 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: ITS OK
[14-06-06 1:07:14 AM] cafeniu: how it go
[14-06-06 12:56:32 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: i overreacted i think but then again so did he
[14-06-06 12:56:45 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: we were both sad
[7:38:00 PM] cafeniu: [14-04-30 12:55:27 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: im gonna find chev and just FUCK
[14-04-30 12:55:37 AM] pontata: isnt chev asexual
[14-04-30 12:55:39 AM] pontata: i forgot
[14-04-30 12:55:48 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: not really
[7:38:09 PM] cafeniu: [14-06-06 12:01:39 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: also he didn’t comfirm as asexual he just said “wow i thought i might be”
[14-06-06 12:01:51 AM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: I really don’t get it.
[7:38:59 PM] cafeniu: [14-06-05 11:57:47 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: I think im being dumped
[14-06-05 11:58:03 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: by chev because he thinks im using him for sexual narcism
[14-06-05 11:58:11 PM] Ｒｉｖｅｒ: when im just… really power bottom

zh also informed me that River had disgregarded my sexuality/confusion with my sexual multiple times before, even insinuating that because I enjoyed gay porn I wasn’t asexual

Anyway, after that incident, I had told River that I wanted to break up (sometime on June 14 - I can’t remember the exact date) after she had sent me several incoherent/hostile messages because I was I was acting silly during one of her video game streams

These are only some of the messages I received

A couple days after she had unfollowed me and no longer spoke to me. I had thought it was the end of everything, however, it turned out that she was telling people that we were still together (screencaps provided by zh again)

I had just found out about this literally like, 3 days ago too when zh had told me (my own screencaps)

Afterwards, I was extremely upset and began to basically blog about my displeasure about finding out River was lying to people about our relationship, which caused her to send the following asks present in this post

I have heard that this behavior is not necessarily new for River - however I will not speak about the experiences of other people as I do not have their permission.

This post is mostly about my own interactions with River and how she treated me. I made this post in order to warn others that she is extremely manipulative and does not understand the meaning of “no”.

#abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #sexual harassment tw #callout #cavebae #masterfox3000 #crimewave420 #signal boost #abusers

@callout-cavebae

Tue, 05 May 2015 06:34:22