#ace exclusion
y'all, how do you deal with aphobic people?
I just went through the most exhausting debate online. It was my fault, I should’ve just blocked all of them from the beginning.
I swear if I get one more reply, I’m deleting that comment altogether.
Long story short, someone replied to a comment of mine with “maybe they have seggs every night”. (You don’t need the context, just that.)
To which I replied with, “every night? yikes”
Now a person replied to that with, “why yikes?”
And I said, “well that’s gotta hurt, right? give you rashes or smth?”
And they were like, “nope. what kind of seggs have you had that gave you a rash?”
Naturally, I responded with, “oh no, I’m asexual so no smex for me, I was just making an assumption that sounds logical to me”
And this as*hole of a person says, “plenty of asexuals have seggs, don’t use that excuse”
Which bewildered me to no bounds. I said, “huh? Yeah I already know that some asexuals have seggs? That’s not the point here”
After that, it was basically me and them going back and forth the same bullsh¡t, other people joining in.
That first person kept saying that I shouldn’t say “I’m sex-repulsed because I’m ace”, when I never said that. And even if I did, so what? I would’ve probably had seggs if I hadn’t found out I’m asexual so there’s definitely a correlation there.
Was I in the wrong? Is it illegal for me to say that seggs is overrated and gross to me? Should I just keep my mouth shut and only talk freely in our safe spaces instead?
Honestly, I can’t believe we’ve reached a point in this fiasco where “LGBT” without a + or a QIA is now a warning sign, but along with “cishet” the usage of the term has been so warped by gatekeepers that I literally, automatically am wary of anyone who uses it.
Like, maybe they just don’t want to bother putting a + in there, that’s a valid and reasonable choice. Or maybe it’s a conscious decision, so that they can draw lines that say “and your gross queer freakshow ass isn’t allowed within 300 feet of this place, because you’re too gross and queer, I can’t assimilate you, what will the Str8s think?”
Oh god, that. In general mainstream media, when I see “LGBT” my chief concern is “do you actually realize what all the letters stands for are you using it interchangeably with ‘gay’ because your stylebook told you so.” On Tumblr, when someone stops at LGBT, my automatic concern is “ok, are you a gatekeeper then?”
I’ve stopped using “cishets”. It’s too warped now.
I never used cishets, but that’s not from anything other than by the time I stopped reading it as Sih-Shets it was a hatekeeping term.
Really, in my brain I was pronouncing it as rhyming with Seshet.
*shrug*
cishets are not queer in any way even if they only feel sexual attraction on tuesdays from 11 am to 5 pm btw
(R-pe mention, aphobia)
Seeing all the aphobia and exclusionists whining on @space-trender page reminds me of all the things exclusionists have done.
30+ year old queer people talking about the history of the community and how ace and aro people have always played a role, just under different labels? Not even really “arguing”, just saying they’re wrong? They begin to complain about how “adults can’t talk to minors like this!”, accuse the adult queer people of being groomers, mass report them to get them kicked off of the site.
Studies showing the oppression asexual people face and how they also face corrective r-pe are brought up? Exclusionists scream “racism” because “corrective r-pe is a lesbian only term made by south african lesbians!”
Actual south african lesbians begin saying that it ISN’T a lesbian only term and that many in the lgbtq+ community face it? They ignore them because they never actually cared about racism.
Black trans people, the group that made the term “Cishet” to describe our COLLECTIVE oppressors, tell them to stop using the term “cishet” incorrectly because it doesn’t apply to ace or aro people? They tell us to shut up because, again, they don’t care about racism or defending people of color (in this case, black people).
It’s pointed out that they are literally just reusing anti-gay talking points, like accusing us of “going around telling people about our sex lives”, or“shoving our sex lives in people’s faces because we told them our orientation”.)?“Actually,you’re homophobic because this isn’t the same! How dare you compare US, the ~real~ LGBT/Queers, to those (slurs)/cishets!”
Also the whole doxxing people, outing people to their caregivers, sending graphic porn to ace minors, talking and laughing about their lies within their circles, etc. Etc.
They’re the major reason I still doubt people’s intellectual honesty and their intellectual laziness going into these “debates”. We had a massive masterpost absolutely loaded with documents proving the history and oppression, plus many of us were willing to post the breakdowns of the sources, but they decided that they weren’t going to even try and to this day they insist that their side is the one science and history agrees with.
Identical to truscum and “transmedicalists” (“medicalists” is a misnomer considering every major physical health, trans advocacy, and mental health organization and more explicitly disagree with them, hence why the quotations).
Like Rachel Dolezal, ace inclusionists predictably don’t understand healthy boundaries or consent.
