#ace speaks
Am I really to blame for mistaking my asexuality for bisexuality once??
How do I explain this? I find most people mediocre, but in an attractive way, you feel?
The thing about lack of sexual attraction is that you’ll have friends who say things like, “Omg did you see that person’s *assets*?”
and you’ll stand there like, “….was I supposed to?”
y'all, how do you deal with aphobic people?
I just went through the most exhausting debate online. It was my fault, I should’ve just blocked all of them from the beginning.
I swear if I get one more reply, I’m deleting that comment altogether.
Long story short, someone replied to a comment of mine with “maybe they have seggs every night”. (You don’t need the context, just that.)
To which I replied with, “every night? yikes”
Now a person replied to that with, “why yikes?”
And I said, “well that’s gotta hurt, right? give you rashes or smth?”
And they were like, “nope. what kind of seggs have you had that gave you a rash?”
Naturally, I responded with, “oh no, I’m asexual so no smex for me, I was just making an assumption that sounds logical to me”
And this as*hole of a person says, “plenty of asexuals have seggs, don’t use that excuse”
Which bewildered me to no bounds. I said, “huh? Yeah I already know that some asexuals have seggs? That’s not the point here”
After that, it was basically me and them going back and forth the same bullsh¡t, other people joining in.
That first person kept saying that I shouldn’t say “I’m sex-repulsed because I’m ace”, when I never said that. And even if I did, so what? I would’ve probably had seggs if I hadn’t found out I’m asexual so there’s definitely a correlation there.
Was I in the wrong? Is it illegal for me to say that seggs is overrated and gross to me? Should I just keep my mouth shut and only talk freely in our safe spaces instead?
I was remembering how earlier this year I was using the labels “homoromantic asexual” or “ace lesbian” to describe myself. For a few months, those labels helped me understand the lesbian experience and how I related to it and ultimately to know if I was really a lesbian or not. I knew I was asexual and I was sure of that part of me, but… romantic attraction was always more complicated to understand bc I didn’t know if I had felt it or not.
I was sure that I didn’t feel attracted to men at all (romantically or sexually) but women… it had me wondering; aesthetic attraction and all haha. Hence, why the lesbian label helped me understand that. I came to understand that I do experience platonic and emotional attraction very strongly towards women/female aligned people but it has never been romantic in nature. Eventually, I learned I’m an aromanticasexual person. I’ve never experienced romantic attraction and I had mistook it for platonic attraction towards my similar gender all along. I had never desired a romantic partner either, it was more of the idea of one. But I’ve never felt that desire directed at someone specific, regardless of gender.
I guess I’m writing this for anyone out there that needs it: it’s okay to be confused, it’s okay to be wrong and think you’re x when you’re actually z. It’s okay to try on different labels and find the ones that describe your experience better, the ones that you’re comfortable with. It’s okay. I promise
Yea I went through something similar.
My crush on that one girl faded over the holidays and when I realized, I was baffled for a moment. That had never happened before.
But looking back at my “feelings”, I realized I was right every time I said it wasn’t a crush. It truly wasn’t.
I just admire that girl A LOT, I still do. But those weren’t romantic feelings nor seggsual attraction. It was just me “forcing” myself to put those unnamed emotions into a perfectly labeled box, as per usual.
Plus, I have a history of always having someone to “obsess over” in order to excuse myself for not paying attention in class or to procrastinate stuff I’m supposed to be doing.
Truth is, I’m way happier when I’m “crush-free” and not thinking of someone at all. I wish I could uninstall this need to have “an object of affection” when I just don’t want to have it.
OP is right. It’s okay to think that you’ve finally found the labels that suit you and later to realize that they don’t fit as well as you thought. It’s okay to skim through multiple labels until you find the right one(s). Or not. Deciding to stay sans-label isn’t a bad thing either.
Good thing queer exists, I use it for more often than you think
at this point is so obvious I’m asexual. people around me would notice if they were educated, seriously
this.
Okay, this is something that I’ve been meaning to talk about for a while.
Before I learned what asexuality was, I didn’t know what attraction was either. Not quite.
I still got crushes and “fawned” over them. But like, whenever I either got bored of obsessing or they moved away or I found out that they were already dating someone, or I met someone else, I’d instantly go: aight I’ll stop now.
And it literally was like turning a switch off. My friends all looked at me weird, but then again, so did I whenever I saw them actually pursuing a relationship with their crushes no matter what. Like??? Okay, you do you but I could never
artist:celepom
cw: mentions of smex and stuff
Had a sexologist come to our auditorium yesterday and, as a sex-repulsed ace, I thought I was going to hate every second of it.
Oddly enough, I didn’t?? I actually had a blast and learned a lot of things. That woman changed my whole perception on so much. And I have to say this.
Allos and all you non-repulsed aces: don’t be ashamed of your sexual nature. Talk about it, be gross and “not proper”, fight against the shaming, demand your sexual rights because did you know there was a World Congress of Sexology held in Hong Kong, 1999 that established the Declaration of Sexual Rights? If you want to know more, here.
ALSO!! Aces who still m@ stürb@ te and have sexual fantasies: YOU’RE SO VALID! Don’t hide it thinking that you’re “betraying” the asexual community like I did. I promise that you’re not. The community is here for you and there’s little (regarding your sexuality) that you can do to harm it in any way.
Will talk about asexuality later today in front of my uni class.
I'mma let you know how it goes
Nothing.Niche. Never seen so many disinterested faces in the same room.
It also went horribly. There wasn’t a single critique the teacher left unsaid, I’m sure.
I shall try again with another coursework in a month or so.
On the other hand, my first ever girl crush asked me for a pen with those doe eyes and gorgeous smile of hers and let me tell you, I’m never throwing that pen away.
So let’s just say I had my reconciliation after a failed coursework
Will talk about asexuality later today in front of my uni class.
I'mma let you know how it goes
Times are getting difficult right now, with everything currently going on. Money’s become really tight since the start of this year, so I’ve decided to open chibi commissions to help. I’m going to start with 5 slots at first. Please take a look and consider commissioning me!
I’m not sure how long I’ve been inactive here I’ve been focusing on twitter nowadays but I regret to say that I may not draw much OM art anymore— other than being burnt out from the back to back events and lack of a “serious” story going forward, there are other personal issues I have with it that I’d rather not discuss. I may draw some should I ever feel like it again since I still do have tons of wips that were never finished— Just a heads-up
