LGBT people: share an experience that is based on persecution of our sexuality and gender expression, have formed spaces to openly express our sexuality and our relationship with gender as safely as possible (even though we still sometimes get killed for it when in those spaces)
Acey-beans: we should center LGBT spaces around REAL shared experiences outside of heteronormativity! Like cake! UwU
Fucking GLAAD: Hey can we be more discrete with our lan-
Exclus: OH SO YOU WANT ME TO STOP BEING GAY? DO YOU WANT ME TO BE ERASED? YOU WANT ACES TO TAKE OVER? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY TWO GRANDFATHERS DIED AT STONEWALL FOR ME TO ALIENATE ASEXUALS AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY. GOOD DAY, SIR. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Just admit that you’re a homophobe.
If you don’t want LGBT people to have spaces where we can actually safely express our sexuality, but instead cater to people whose identity is based on a disconnect from the sexual experience, then you’re a homophobe, plain and simple.
You goobers literally NEVER make these demands of the average cis-het. No, you be these demands of LGBT people.
You are toxic. You are bullies. You are homophobes.
*raises hand* I would like if everyone could keep it in their pants unless they are in privacy or at a club… That’s just kind of how I feel as a modest human being who would like to walk down the street and see kind gestures of love rather than two people engaging in foreplay on the sidewalk. People of all sexualities should be able to show affection or sexuality, but at the right time please.
Where the fuck are you going where there’s “foreplay on the sidewalk”? That’s pure hyperbole and a total dodge.
Even the Leather floats at Pride parades are never any less scantily clad than billboards for stripper clubs on the freeway – but Poor Pweshuss Smol Ace Beans would rather bully LGBT orgs to “de-sexualise LGBTOMFGWTFBBQ spaces,” rather than cis-het society, which is homophobia, pure and simple.
If they actually cared about what they perceived as an overall oversaturation of sexuality in society, they’d join forces with feminist groups, but they don’t, cos they’re misogynistic, in addition to homophobic.
[Handwritten in red and purple: “it’s time for you to grow tf up and learn about how slur reclamation works”]
This is an example of hate.
ok im just gonna quickly mention that an cishet ace tried to convince me i was aroace just to get me into the community so believe it or not cishet aces are dicks too!!!!!!! i should mention it was cuz i had trauma from an abusive relationship!!!!
stop trying to be fucking oppressed you arent
also about the slur reclaimation thing, lol yall cant say q*eer plus ppl are uncomfrotable by the word q*eer!! stop being disrespectful!! yall dont know how it works!!! i see aces saying fag and the d slur!!!!!!!! so shut up!!
[Handwritte in pink and purple: “If aroaces actually felt like addressing the root problems of a society that pushes the idea that everyone wants a relationship/family and that sex isn’t owed to anyone instead of insisting they’re the only ones who face these issues caused by rape culture and mysoginy then MAYBE we would get somewhere in worthwhile discussions”]
This is an example of hate.
Wow, I got certified! Credit me next time you take my post!
It’s just facts, though.
Like, this is legit a matter of misogyny, rape culture, and toxic masculinity (which is a byproduct of misogyny). Nothing about that is a concern unique to the asexual experience. It’s a matter of the human experience.
Plenty of “allosexual” people don’t want to have a family! The child free and VHEMT communities have been around for decades.
Not everyone, including “allos” want sex or a relationship - right now, maybe ever! Why? Plenty of reasons. I literally took about eight years off from dating and sex during early stages of my transitiong, simply because of dysphoria (it’s also not uncommon for trans people to just mentally “shut off” our feelings of sexual attraction because of dysphoria – it’s such a common reaction to dysphoria, and has many decades of documentation, I’m even willing to bet that a strong majority of asexual-identifying trans people actually aren’t asexual, and they’ll discover this at some point in the course of transitioning)
The only reason that I can imagine why there are so many asexual people who believe that these are “unique asexual experience” is some combination of unaddressed misogyny and a case of terminal uniqueness.
[“Terminal uniqueness” isn’t just common to substance abusers, but it’s frankly also a common feeling during adolescence, and most people who feel it as teenagers outgrow it.]
LGBT people: share an experience that is based on persecution of our sexuality and gender expression, have formed spaces to openly express our sexuality and our relationship with gender as safely as possible (even though we still sometimes get killed for it when in those spaces)
Acey-beans: we should center LGBT spaces around REAL shared experiences outside of heteronormativity! Like cake! UwU
I just went through the most exhausting debate online. It was my fault, I should’ve just blocked all of them from the beginning.
I swear if I get one more reply, I’m deleting that comment altogether.
Long story short, someone replied to a comment of mine with “maybe they have seggs every night”. (You don’t need the context, just that.)
To which I replied with, “every night? yikes”
Now a person replied to that with, “why yikes?”
And I said, “well that’s gotta hurt, right? give you rashes or smth?”
And they were like, “nope. what kind of seggs have you had that gave you a rash?”
Naturally, I responded with, “oh no, I’m asexual so no smex for me, I was just making an assumption that sounds logical to me”
And this as*hole of a person says, “plenty of asexuals have seggs, don’t use that excuse”
Which bewildered me to no bounds. I said, “huh? Yeah I already know that some asexuals have seggs? That’s not the point here”
After that, it was basically me and them going back and forth the same bullsh¡t, other people joining in.
That first person kept saying that I shouldn’t say “I’m sex-repulsed because I’m ace”, when I never said that. And even if I did, so what? I would’ve probably had seggs if I hadn’t found out I’m asexual so there’s definitely a correlation there.
Was I in the wrong? Is it illegal for me to say that seggs is overrated and gross to me? Should I just keep my mouth shut and only talk freely in our safe spaces instead?
This artist, celepom has some of the coolest art about asexuality that you simply MUST read! I promise you’ll find yourself in at least one of her episodes of:
I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for you guys. Being seen as inherently hyper-sexual beings, just cuz “you’re men and that’s what all men are like/all men do”
That’s some load of BS
Whoever said that can go to the underground sauna
A-spec AMABs but not only: I see you.
You’re valid and appreciated and loved! A “man’s duty” is no longer based on what the ancient doctrines of patriarchy say. Honestly, fxck patriarchy.
Women are supposed to be prudes, men should always seek sexual contact blah-blah-blah
HOW ABOUT!!!! We let diversity spread and let people be who they want to be, do what they want to do with their lives? Eh?
Okay, this is something that I’ve been meaning to talk about for a while.
Before I learned what asexuality was, I didn’t know what attraction was either. Not quite.
I still got crushes and “fawned” over them. But like, whenever I either got bored of obsessing or they moved away or I found out that they were already dating someone, or I met someone else, I’d instantly go: aight I’ll stop now.
And it literally was like turning a switch off. My friends all looked at me weird, but then again, so did I whenever I saw them actually pursuing a relationship with their crushes no matter what. Like??? Okay, you do you but I could never
Had a sexologist come to our auditorium yesterday and, as a sex-repulsed ace, I thought I was going to hate every second of it.
Oddly enough, I didn’t?? I actually had a blast and learned a lot of things. That woman changed my whole perception on so much. And I have to say this.
Allos and all you non-repulsed aces: don’t be ashamed of your sexual nature. Talk about it, be gross and “not proper”, fight against the shaming, demand your sexual rights because did you know there was a World Congress of Sexology held in Hong Kong, 1999 that established the Declaration of Sexual Rights? If you want to know more, here.
ALSO!! Aces who still m@ stürb@ te and have sexual fantasies: YOU’RE SO VALID! Don’t hide it thinking that you’re “betraying” the asexual community like I did. I promise that you’re not. The community is here for you and there’s little (regarding your sexuality) that you can do to harm it in any way.
Signs I should have known I was ace: M*sturb*t¡0n edition
Before I dive into this rant, can we all just agree that even asexuals m-bate? Yes, even girls. Idk and idc when or how or why society ever began to believe that only straight, allosexual men are allowed to do it, I just don’t want to see that crap on my blog, okay? Great.
Now, one might argue about the exact time I started “engaging in self pleasure”.
I remember exploring my body since I was 8, I don’t know if that counts. But I only actually began “getting that pleasure” when I was almost 15 that I learned what the thing I had been doing was called.
Ever since then, I’ve had all sorts of “experiences” regarding how I see m**tûrb*t¡on.
For example, you know how I started reading fanfiction almost two years ago. And I’m guessing you know what kind of ~f i l t h~ can be found there.
I read all about these h0rny teens tossing one off while thinking of someone!!
Honestly, I thought it was far-fetched, written to attract readers because THERE’S NO WAY-
until…. I got on Omegle a couple of months ago and had a brief, highly uncomfortable conversation with this dude who didn’t know what asexuality meant. After I explained it to him, he went, “but do you m-bate?”
And I’m there like…. Not that that’s any of your business, but yea? What’s that got to do with anything?
He said, “well who do you think of when you…?”
I’m sitting there, staring at my screen like…. huh?
I said as much, “no one? Who tf am I supposed to think of?”
Then he went on about p0rn, and didn’t I watch and imagine myself being in the place of the girl on screen?
I’m like what?!?! No, why would I?
Needless to say, I see that allosexuals don’t watch p**n to m-bate by listening to the sounds or just projecting that feeling of ar0üsal. No, allos actually picture themselves in those videos. Good heavens…
Listen, I don’t shame anyone, ever. Otherwise, me making this post would contradict everything.
It was just a shock for me to learn that, that’s all. Is it really okay to picture someone you know… in bed with you? Or is it like, what they don’t know doesn’t hurt them?
I have tried it, trust me. But the second I attempt to picture someone else touching me, it’s like turning a switch off. I could never. What does work for me, is the feeling. Focusing on my senses, and getting that stress-relief. P**n only works when I’m watching a sole person and projecting what they’re feeling into my own body.
But yeah, this should have been a major sign towards my sexuality for a couple of years. I just didn’t know I was supposed to feel that way about self-pl**süre.
Will talk about asexuality later today in front of my uni class.
I'mma let you know how it goes
Nothing.Niche. Never seen so many disinterested faces in the same room.
It also went horribly. There wasn’t a single critique the teacher left unsaid, I’m sure.
I shall try again with another coursework in a month or so.
On the other hand, my first ever girl crush asked me for a pen with those doe eyes and gorgeous smile of hers and let me tell you, I’m never throwing that pen away.
So let’s just say I had my reconciliation after a failed coursework
Imma change up my blog a little, cuz i found out i was aroace this week ✨ Probably going to post about that more than sapphic stuff, although i still have mad respect for sapphic tumblr
One of the privileges of being aromantic: you can laugh at people’s love problems, because it doesn’t make sense to you anyway. Side effects: may cause people to think you’re a psychopath
This is truly a quick and easy guide to asexuality! It’s quick, it’s easy, it doesn’t have a plot but it’s told in a conversational style like we’re all friends. There’s asexual community ‘in-jokes’, also, like the famous cake metaphor! Honestly I feel like this book does better in 76 comic pages than every time I have ever attempted to explain asexuality. Buy one for your friend! Buy one for your family. Buy one to keep in your wallet next to your Ace Identification Card. (You can’t actually do this, it’s too big to keep in your wallet). There’s also a section about finding your place in the queer community, which I found very helpful - you might find that people can be mean to you online, but “for the most part, it doesn’t really matter, because most people are kind and want to help you and be your friend”, which I’ve found to be true. Five stars!
Notable quotables:
“The spectrum is complicated, and humans are more complicated than a series of binaries.”
“So what you’re saying is that some people want a romantic relationship without sex, some people want a sexual relationship without romance, and some people want either, both, or nothing?”
“Well, firstly, there is no ‘normal’, just ace people and allo people.”
“I always call the way I flirt ‘Jane Benneting’, after the oldest sister in Pride and Prejudice. She’s so nice to everyone that no one knows she’s partial to Mr. Bingley.” (What a mood!)
