I just went through the most exhausting debate online. It was my fault, I should’ve just blocked all of them from the beginning.
I swear if I get one more reply, I’m deleting that comment altogether.
Long story short, someone replied to a comment of mine with “maybe they have seggs every night”. (You don’t need the context, just that.)
To which I replied with, “every night? yikes”
Now a person replied to that with, “why yikes?”
And I said, “well that’s gotta hurt, right? give you rashes or smth?”
And they were like, “nope. what kind of seggs have you had that gave you a rash?”
Naturally, I responded with, “oh no, I’m asexual so no smex for me, I was just making an assumption that sounds logical to me”
And this as*hole of a person says, “plenty of asexuals have seggs, don’t use that excuse”
Which bewildered me to no bounds. I said, “huh? Yeah I already know that some asexuals have seggs? That’s not the point here”
After that, it was basically me and them going back and forth the same bullsh¡t, other people joining in.
That first person kept saying that I shouldn’t say “I’m sex-repulsed because I’m ace”, when I never said that. And even if I did, so what? I would’ve probably had seggs if I hadn’t found out I’m asexual so there’s definitely a correlation there.
Was I in the wrong? Is it illegal for me to say that seggs is overrated and gross to me? Should I just keep my mouth shut and only talk freely in our safe spaces instead?
This artist, celepom has some of the coolest art about asexuality that you simply MUST read! I promise you’ll find yourself in at least one of her episodes of:
I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for you guys. Being seen as inherently hyper-sexual beings, just cuz “you’re men and that’s what all men are like/all men do”
That’s some load of BS
Whoever said that can go to the underground sauna
A-spec AMABs but not only: I see you.
You’re valid and appreciated and loved! A “man’s duty” is no longer based on what the ancient doctrines of patriarchy say. Honestly, fxck patriarchy.
Women are supposed to be prudes, men should always seek sexual contact blah-blah-blah
HOW ABOUT!!!! We let diversity spread and let people be who they want to be, do what they want to do with their lives? Eh?
Okay, this is something that I’ve been meaning to talk about for a while.
Before I learned what asexuality was, I didn’t know what attraction was either. Not quite.
I still got crushes and “fawned” over them. But like, whenever I either got bored of obsessing or they moved away or I found out that they were already dating someone, or I met someone else, I’d instantly go: aight I’ll stop now.
And it literally was like turning a switch off. My friends all looked at me weird, but then again, so did I whenever I saw them actually pursuing a relationship with their crushes no matter what. Like??? Okay, you do you but I could never
Had a sexologist come to our auditorium yesterday and, as a sex-repulsed ace, I thought I was going to hate every second of it.
Oddly enough, I didn’t?? I actually had a blast and learned a lot of things. That woman changed my whole perception on so much. And I have to say this.
Allos and all you non-repulsed aces: don’t be ashamed of your sexual nature. Talk about it, be gross and “not proper”, fight against the shaming, demand your sexual rights because did you know there was a World Congress of Sexology held in Hong Kong, 1999 that established the Declaration of Sexual Rights? If you want to know more, here.
ALSO!! Aces who still m@ stürb@ te and have sexual fantasies: YOU’RE SO VALID! Don’t hide it thinking that you’re “betraying” the asexual community like I did. I promise that you’re not. The community is here for you and there’s little (regarding your sexuality) that you can do to harm it in any way.
Signs I should have known I was ace: M*sturb*t¡0n edition
Before I dive into this rant, can we all just agree that even asexuals m-bate? Yes, even girls. Idk and idc when or how or why society ever began to believe that only straight, allosexual men are allowed to do it, I just don’t want to see that crap on my blog, okay? Great.
Now, one might argue about the exact time I started “engaging in self pleasure”.
I remember exploring my body since I was 8, I don’t know if that counts. But I only actually began “getting that pleasure” when I was almost 15 that I learned what the thing I had been doing was called.
Ever since then, I’ve had all sorts of “experiences” regarding how I see m**tûrb*t¡on.
For example, you know how I started reading fanfiction almost two years ago. And I’m guessing you know what kind of ~f i l t h~ can be found there.
I read all about these h0rny teens tossing one off while thinking of someone!!
Honestly, I thought it was far-fetched, written to attract readers because THERE’S NO WAY-
until…. I got on Omegle a couple of months ago and had a brief, highly uncomfortable conversation with this dude who didn’t know what asexuality meant. After I explained it to him, he went, “but do you m-bate?”
And I’m there like…. Not that that’s any of your business, but yea? What’s that got to do with anything?
He said, “well who do you think of when you…?”
I’m sitting there, staring at my screen like…. huh?
I said as much, “no one? Who tf am I supposed to think of?”
Then he went on about p0rn, and didn’t I watch and imagine myself being in the place of the girl on screen?
I’m like what?!?! No, why would I?
Needless to say, I see that allosexuals don’t watch p**n to m-bate by listening to the sounds or just projecting that feeling of ar0üsal. No, allos actually picture themselves in those videos. Good heavens…
Listen, I don’t shame anyone, ever. Otherwise, me making this post would contradict everything.
It was just a shock for me to learn that, that’s all. Is it really okay to picture someone you know… in bed with you? Or is it like, what they don’t know doesn’t hurt them?
I have tried it, trust me. But the second I attempt to picture someone else touching me, it’s like turning a switch off. I could never. What does work for me, is the feeling. Focusing on my senses, and getting that stress-relief. P**n only works when I’m watching a sole person and projecting what they’re feeling into my own body.
But yeah, this should have been a major sign towards my sexuality for a couple of years. I just didn’t know I was supposed to feel that way about self-pl**süre.
Will talk about asexuality later today in front of my uni class.
I'mma let you know how it goes
Nothing.Niche. Never seen so many disinterested faces in the same room.
It also went horribly. There wasn’t a single critique the teacher left unsaid, I’m sure.
I shall try again with another coursework in a month or so.
On the other hand, my first ever girl crush asked me for a pen with those doe eyes and gorgeous smile of hers and let me tell you, I’m never throwing that pen away.
So let’s just say I had my reconciliation after a failed coursework
Summary: Ace Cheung is from a prestigious school in Singapore. He finds himself fascinated by a boy who plays sepak takraw like an angel. Despite their different backgrounds, the boys slowly become more than just normal friends.
Summary: This is a story about nanobots, genetic engineering, and two girls falling in love. No matter how technology changes us, we’ll always be human.
Summary: At St. Lucas, a school for super kids, explosions and bullets are the least of the students problems. Struggling with mental illness, trauma, and identity, they’re more comforted being blasted through a wall. This follows a group of students and staff members and explores these topics mixed in a universe with meta-humans
Summary:Wynn is struggling to survive when the Immortal Swigne gives Wynn their Blessing. The only explanation Swigne gives is that Wynn now has “Power”. Wynn meets people Blessed by other Immortals that can help guide them. In searching for knowledge of their new gift Wynn finds love, friendship and a more full sense of self identity. Wynn learns that being Blessed is a gift with a price tag of responsibilities and constant hunger attached, but the pay off is fantastic strength and the resources they’ll need to thrive in the world they live in. As long as Wynn keeps overcoming the challenges their new status brings them.
Summary:A webcomic that takes place in a world destroyed by the Gods, following the journey of a homeless trio who takes on a job to help two brothers from a prestigious family hunt down an infamous terrorist group, Butterfly Blue.
Summary: Tula is a student just trying to get through her senior year of college. Little does she know that her new rental is inhabited by demons. Juggling her social life and these new roommates should be no problem.
Summary: A witch is involuntarily forced to help a prince break a curse- a curse a fellow witch set upon him. These complete opposites will have to set aside their differences to reach a common goal, and maybe gain each other’s trust on the way.
Summary: Scott works for The Belt, a black market company that deals in harvesting and trading human organs. His boss and partner (in crime), Lars Van Allen is heir to the organization but lacks certain abilities to properly run a business.
Summary:It’s 1852, and Clara Adams has had her future planned out for her: find and marry a proper young man, then settle in for a life of quiet obedience and domestic bliss. She’s resigned to her fate, until a bout of curiosity leads to her untimely murder, and resurrection, at the hands of monsters that she’d never dreamed might be more than fictional. Death brings Clara unexpected freedom, along with new dangers and the sudden weight of responsibility. Thrust into unlife with no way back, Clara has to learn quickly, for her unique gift might tip the scales in the secret war against her murderer for control of all London!
Summary:Hellebore is an urban fantasy webcomic about a young witch trying to overcome some of life’s greatest obstacles: customer service, family drama, and making new friends. But something terrible is brewing on the horizon.
Summary: Heroes of Thantopolis is a fantasy action-adventure comic about Cyrus, a young boy who was transported to the titular City of the Dead under mysterious circumstances. The conniving queen of the realm, Helene, taps Cyrus as her Champion and enlists him to fight against three wicked ghosts interested in taking over the city, in exchange for sending Cyrus home and getting his memories back. Luckily, Cyrus doesn’t have to do it alone. Along with his new ghost friends, Cyrus explores the afterlife, fights bad guys and unravels mysteries. Can Cyrus save Thantopolis? And is it really that his arrival in the city was random? Or is there more to Cyrus than it seems…?
Summary:Ignition Zero is an urban fantasy comic about a group of friends who get mixed up with faeries and spirits! It takes place in the fictitious city of Glory, Maryland in the fall of 2011, and covers the adventure Robbie, Orson, Neve, and Martin have with their friend, a spirit they call Ivory. Only Ivory–and those they’ve been defending her from–may not be what she seems. There isn’t always a clear right or wrong side to a story…
Summary: Deep within Nairobi, a plot to drain the people of their uniqueness and aspirations is underway. The only ones who can truly stop them are a group of young people known as the Spectrum of Hope.
Summary:Les Normaux follows the life of a bunch of supernatural beings living in Paris after a human wizard named Sebastien moved to the city. They each tell their own side of the story in their respective diaries.
Summary: Es, a half fey girl from a small New Zealand town, suddenly gets caught up in the world of the sidhe – which are a whole lot closer than she realised.
Summary: Pun-loving teenager Claire Voyant wasn’t expecting death to be so confusing. Instead of peacefully moving on, she finds herself embroiled in underworld politics, with a new job that’s more dangerous than she’s ready for. Meanwhile, her brother Jared tries to make sense of his sister’s death and piece together his family’s legacy as he runs from the supernatural forces that want him dead.
Summary:No End is a webcomic about a group of people struggling to survive in a post apocalyptic country ravaged by an unyielding winter and hordes of undead. Living amid a world of horror doesn’t erase the cast’s day-to-day worries about identity, family, friendship and betrayal, as they seek people they can trust, as well a legendary place called “Haven” rumored to be free of the cold and horror.Just as none of them are sure that it even exists, they aren’t sure what their place in their world is. But each step forward leads towards who they are, who they should become, and where they belong.
Summary: Five twenty-somethings have just found out they’re not human: they’re actually changelings, magical beings swapped with humans as babies. As such, they frequently venture into the magical Otherworld to figure out whoandwhat they are, while still tackling their life in the human world, and making new friends and foes along the way.
Summary: In Ark Hana, signa rule the streets after nightfall, but aren’t afraid to puff their chests in daylight, either. After a quick dance with death, Nicholas Morello finds himself in the arms of Leo Rothstein, who not only saves his life, but intends to stick around for the long haul. Becoming friends and eventual lovers, Nick and Leo discover more about each other than they know about themselves. The two are forced to cease contact when Nick is arrested on account of murder.
Nero, ruler over Ark Hana and Commander in Chief of Nightingale, the organization created to fight signa, offers Nick a job with him in exchange for his death sentence. No other way around it, Nick accepts, but when ready to confront Leo, discovers he’s disappeared.
Now burdened with newfound responsibility and power, Nick sets off with his appointed team to uncover clues about Leo’s whereabouts-discovering the Morello family’s sketchy past involving Nightingale along the way, and realizing Nick never was as normal as he strived to be.
Summary: Everyone has felt like the world is against them and for someone who has come to the realization that they’re queer it can be even more overwhelming. Experience the struggles of LGBT+ youth as they try to be themselves in a world that tells them they shouldn’t
Summary:Questables is a comedic fantasy webcomic following a dwarven monk, Robin, as she embarks on her first big quest! As she travels she meets plenty of folks on the road, and soon enough her one-woman mission turns into a tight knit family adventure. Questables is filled with good vibes and domestic moments, and pays homage to many classic tabletop RPG elements.
Summary:Hitting the road on a journey of self discovery and acceptance, this coming-of-age tale gives a backstage look at friendships and the plights of fame as experienced by a modern British rock band.On the fast track toward fame, the five members of the fictional British rock band, Radio Silence, enter into an exciting new life on the road with their best friends. As they tour across the United Kingdom, they excitedly embrace this new lifestyle and all the resulting challenges, including living in close quarters with each other with little privacy, and the overwhelming reaction of the public to their new-found success.
Summary:Lucas Wen prides himself on being the most practical and realistic person you’ll ever meet. Which is why it’s a bit of a shock when he finds out not only that his cousin Robin is a witch, but he’s just taken a job in the most supernaturally saturated neighborhood in New York City.
Meanwhile, Roe, a young woman with a suitcase full of odd weapons and perhaps a few too many secrets, thinks things are finally going her way again when she finds a place to live other than her cousin’s couch in the form of Robin’s spare room.
Before either of them can get both feet under them again, the sudden disappearance of Robin’s girlfriend, Penelope, shakes them all. Lucas, despite his best attempts to adjust to his new fantastical reality, finds that there’s really only so much that even the most practical mind can take, and Roe fears whether their new troubles are something that followed her to the ‘Quarter, or were already there.
Summary:Deserters escape to the swamp from a soon-to-be cult and get involved in a dispute between the swamp’s magic inhabitants, who all seem to have ulterior motives. Has some violence.
Summary: When a zombie apocalypse hits during the practice of a high school basketball team, it’s a whole new life for the coach, Jeff. The world’s turned upside down and the girls seem to be handling the changes way better than Jeff, who has troubles adjusting. A close-knit group of friends, the girls are eager to tackle this new world with its challenges!
Summary: In the business-driven city of Singmire, jobless Finch quietly copes with life, until he gets to discover that his online boyfriend happens to be a changeling stuck in a childish body. As if it weren’t enough, aside from trying to cure himself, Soot also has plans to restore social justice in a decaying elven society…
Summary:In this interactive comic you play the roll of a man who wakes up in a white room remembering not even his name. As the “game” goes on, you will have to choose between various options, and whatever you choose will be crucial to whether you can keep going or die. So, wanna play?
Summary: Being legally dead is causing Razi some problems, and xer only chance of escape from bureaucratic limbo will involve a dangerous trek through wolfcat territory. Meanwhile, Halvanylila is supposed to be learning to hunt and fight, but it’s hard to concentrate when there are fascinating plants to be scienced at.Now they’re both lost in the middle of nowhere, and they’ll need each other’s help and unique expertise to find their way out.One problem: those wolfcats. Oh, wait, and a troupe of bandits? Two problems. But hey, as long as nothing else goes wrong …
Summary: Walker is tired. Every night he dreams of wandering around the city and sees things that are happening while he’s asleep. Night after night his life seems to fall apart further and further, but it’s just a dream, right?
Summary: Three kids make an ill-advised (but well-intentioned) deal with a demon in the woods one day. Twenty years later, Levi, Rowan, and Alder meet again to find out their past has caught up to them. But a lot changes in twenty years, and they aren’t as innocent as they used to be.
If you enjoy any of these webcomics I encourage you to reblog this post or reblog their works. Most if not all of the comics mentioned rely on word of mouth to grow their audiences. All of these wonderful creators deserve to have their stories seen and heard and you can help by spreading the word!
(Three images with the asexual pride flag as a background and text on top. Left: “asexual pride”. Middle: “asexuality is real and valid”. Right: “proud to be ace-spec”.)
ace-specs who have problems with dissociation, have dissociative episodes, have a dissociative disorder, and/or are part of a system are amazing and beautiful and their asexuality is hella valid <3
gloomsexual:a subset of asexual in which there is not only a lack of sexual attraction, but it is replaced by feelings of apathy and sadness towards the idea of sex
gloomromantic:a subset of aromantic in which there is not only a lack of romantic attraction, but it is replaced by feelings of apathy and sadness towards the idea of romance
@ bregee13 asked for a gloomsexual flag and i figured i’d also make a gloomromantic flag! the inner stripes are from the asexualandaromantic flags and the outer ones represent apathy and sadness.
flag id: two flags with 5 stripes. the left flag’s stripes, in order, are blue-grey, dark blue-grey, dark purple-pink, dark blue-grey, and blue-grey. the right flag’s stripes in order, are blue-grey, dark blue-grey, green, dark blue-grey, and blue-grey. end id.
I’ll shut up about Ace representation when society stops putting unnecessary sex or innuendos in ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING
asexuality is a very very small fraction of the world. Very small. Almost non existent. Ace rep would be like,,, one person. Per film. Per show. Per whatever. I’m not saying that ace rep doesn’t matter, I’m saying that including it in everything or making society change its entire structure just to suit a very small portion of people is absurd.
Why am I not surprised this is coming from a conservative? And where did I say it should be included in everything? We are asking for ONE movie, or ONE show that represents us. And it’s not as small as you think, either. 1% of the world’s population is asexual, which makes 70 million people. Just over 70 million people make up the whole of Germany. An entire country’s worth of people have next to no representation. This NEEDS to change.
Allosexuality is the real spectrum here. There are many ways to experience sexual attraction. There’s only one way to experience no sexual attraction.
please let this become common knowledge. I’m so tired of demisexuals, greysexuals, etc. saying they’re ace. No you’re not. If you experience sexual attraction even once, you’re allo.
Normalize low libido
Normalize all levels of sexual attraction and that there are many ways to experience allosexuality. Low and high libidos are still allosexual. No libido is asexual.
Exactly, in America it’s set up that if you’re not fucking twice a week then there is something wrong with you, that there is a special term for you. No, the sex crazed have just taken over now they have been released. Just let them do their thing bro
OMFG we really need to talk about how weird Murricans definition of asexuality is:
Like this post right here has a checklist to see if you’re ace and more than half of them are just normal traits! Not even traits of introverts! Just normal traits! Worst of all this is culture-specific so by this logic - every Asian and Jewish person is ace!
The most egregious is “you can’t understand why people would cheat.” Being faithful to your partner makes you ace?!? Murricans?! Are you okay?!
Same with aromantacism, there’s no “spectrum”, either you feel romantic attraction or you don’t.
^^ yup! Typically when I discuss topics involving asexuality I also mean the same with aromanticisn.
The first time a seed was planted in me was when I offhandedly remarked around a friend that “I’m not gay, but Cathrine Zeta Jones could turn me.” And she responded with, I think that says more about you than her"…. And a switch clicked in me for the first time. It was such a one off remark, but that was the first time I realized that I might not be entirely straight.
I still didn’t date though. As much as I wanted to, I never got used to dating. Even in high School, I was painfully awkward about dating because I never could just “casually date”. I never understood how my friends could date someone they didn’t see themselves spending the rest of their lives with, and that baffled me. (And this isn’t judging, I just didn’t understand) It wasn’t until college that I started to figure out why.
It took me most of the rest of college (above happened my senior year of high school) to fully realize that I wasn’t bi, but pan. I found that if I liked a person, the gender didn’t really bother me.
Throughout college, I had a few “cuddle buddies”. These were friends of mine, both men and women, whom I could call on if I was feeling lonely and we would literally just spoon. We would spoon and watch a movie or spoon while we took a nap. It was just closeness and I started to understand the more casual dating (at least one aspect of it). I still didn’t really date myself though because something kept walling me up. Something kept me from taking that final step. Something about the physical (sexual) part that would eventually happen in any ‘romantic’ relationship I dared to enter into. It was always sitting there in the back of my mind.
And I think it went back to my feeling in high school. If I was going to date and eventually be physically intimate with someone, it was going to be with someone I had a real emotional connection with. That’s why the term 'pan’ felt like it suited. I didn’t care about what gender they had, I just cared about the connection I had with them.
Little did I know that there was a better fitting term that waited for me a few short years down the road. Not the right one, but I was on track.
So I’ve heard rumblings and mumblings that this week is Asexual Awareness Week! As I fall on the spectrum, I decided to do a post each day discussing my journey of sorts on how I got to this point. But what is ‘this point’ for me?
Well, 'this point’ is Aegosexuallity. And since most everyone I’ve encountered doesn’t know what that is (hell, I didn’t even know until a few weeks ago), I’ll start by breaking it down.
Definition first:
Aegosexuality-“A disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies, or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein” -MOGAI Library & multiple other sources
How I define it:
I feel sexual arousal for attractive people or fictional characters, or everyday crushes. But outside of playing things out in my head, I’ve never been able to act on them in real life. I could be with someone that I really care about (look for this fun story later in the week), want to have sex with them, but when the time comes…. My brain and body goes, “nah fam, you good.” and just peaces out.
To put it simply:
Because don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex, the idea of it, learning about different facets of it, watching 'those scenes’ in movies…hell, one of my favorite pastimes is reading smutty fanfiction. I WRITE smutty fanfiction…almost exclusively. I just don’t feel the need to actually participate myself. I like watching the baseball game, but I’m not about to run onto the field and pitch. (I don’t do sports. I did metaphor correctly??)
Anyway, that’s my intro to this fun week of awareness. If anyone wants to DM me with questions, feel free…but be warned. As you’ll see later this week, I’m pretty new to this term myself, so I’m by no means an expert. BUT, I am always available to talk!
Ace Week 2020 → Asexual Spectrum Characters in Literature
— Georgia Warr, Loveless by Alice Oseman — Raphael Santiago, The Shadowhunter Chronicles by Cassandra Clare — Neil Josten, All for the Game by Nora Sakavic — Nancy Whitman, Wayward Children by Seanan McGuire — Rumi Seto, Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman — Kamai Nuala, Beyond the Black Door by A.M. Strickland
Another day, another pride meme using “heterosexual” as a blanket term for “not queer” :)
Please remember trans hets and aro hets this coming pride month. Our sexuality is an important and valuable part of our identities. The queer community is complex and multi-faceted and that’s beautiful.
Reblogging this every time someone talks about The Straights not belonging at pride <3
Like I get that saying The Gays and The Striaghts is Very Funny to you but you have to know that when you say “happy pride to gay people only” you are deliberately excluding me from your community.
