#actually epileptic

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 I actually know a person who sees their seizures as a way of getting attention. Some people really

I actually know a person who sees their seizures as a way of getting attention. Some people really do be like that.


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Dear Readers,


I wanna sit down with you.

In the middle of 2018.

As you know, I have epilepsy.

I had an orchestra concert (For school), the last one of the school year to be specific.

The president of the orchestra student council (As I like to call it) moved.

So my friend was picked to do the speech instead.

During my friend’s speech…

It’s the last thing I remember.

Then the next second…

When I blinked…

When I opened my eyes again…

The audience weren’t in their seats.

I wasn’t sitting down with my cello listening to my friend’s speech.

I was laying on the floor…

With paramedics and my parents around me instead.

They took me home in the ambulance.

I remained a scar in my heart.

Why?

I had epilepsy…

No doubt, I knew that.

My friends knew that.

My family knew that.

The church I went to knew that.

After all, I said it on a microphone at church.

But…

Now a bunch of strangers know that too.

At church, I wanted them too…

But I didn’t want the entire school to know…

Now they treat me differently…

They stare…

They treat me nicer than other people…

I feel like a fucking a sick, depressed, excluded, alien.

Is there something wrong with being epileptic?

Yes, it’s horrible to have.

But I’m still a person.

I still feel.

I still have questions.

Will I ever be able to play again? Everything reminds me of the concert.

I’m too traumatized. Am I even traumatized?

Why has almost everybody changed?

Why didn’t somebody just turn on the A.C.?

How long was the seizure?

How many people helped?

How many people faked their smiles after I regained consciousness?

How many instruments were damaged?

Why wasn’t I told I may have a seizure in the heat?

How many people didn’t care?

How many people knew about epilepsy?

How many people did not know?

How many people believed in the stereotypes of epilepsy?

I know my questions will never be answered.

But I want the world to know from my point of view.

There’s one question only the future can answer…

Will I ever be able to touch and/or play my cello again?

Heads up, y'all. This game is not only can’t-turn-it-off inaccessible, it seems like they did it on purpose.

Stay safe ❤️

thetwitchylife:

So, just before the anesthesia techs got to me I took my hospital glam photo.  There’s one of me and Goober making goofy grins too, but this one looks less demented.

In all my no-food-after-dinner, please-wear-this-gown, we’ll-be-back-in-a-minute glory…

How do you all fill in the gaps during class when you miss things? I miss huge gaps of lectures from my seizures (and dissociation) and I’m really trying to not fail this semester.

Of course my seizures start to get worse rightas college starts.

Wow, one whole minute and ten seconds? Impressive.

Wow, one whole minute and ten seconds? Impressive.


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Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform

Who Framed Roger Rabbit(1988)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit has a severe strobe of about 4 seconds as a character’s fingers get stuck in electrical outlets in the opening cartoon. A neon sign briefly strobes in daylight. Two scenes where a cartoon character drinks alcohol involve movement so rapid that it causes a mild strobe effect. A short scene in an elevator has moderate strobe effects. A late scene has cartoon strobe effects involving a giant magnet.

All of the camera work in this film is either stationary or very smooth. One brief scene shows peril at extreme heights, including an extended fall.

Flashing Lights: 7/10. Motion Sickness: 1/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: A horrific murder is committed on-screen as an intimidation tactic.

Image ID: A theatrical poster for Who Framed Roger Rabbit


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Peter Pan (1953)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of pote

Peter Pan(1953)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Peter Pan has a severe but very brief strobe effect as an explosion happens. There is a frequent effect of sparkling glitter, which may create a very mild strobe effect.

A few sequences involve flight at extreme heights.

Flashing Lights: 4/10. Motion Sickness: 2/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: This film contains extensive caricatures about Native Americans, including slurs.

Image ID: A theatrical poster for Peter Pan(1953)


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Firestarter (2022)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of po

Firestarter(2022)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Firestarter has its most severe strobe effects within the first 10 minutes of the film. This starts with brief strobe effects in the second production company logo (immediately following the Universal logo), and continues with a montage shown on an old-fashioned TV screen with an intermittently moderate and severe flicker, and features several rapidly-changing images. This montage shows both important backstory and the opening credits of the film. Throughout the rest of the film, there are scenes of minor flickering of fire as the only source of light. 

All of the camera work in this film is either stationary or very smooth. The wavy effect of extreme heat is shown several times in this film.

Flashing Lights: 8/10. Motion Sickness: 1/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: Multiple scenes show extremely graphic burn injuries. One animal dies slowly and painfully. A brief moment shows a graphic frog dissection. There is some aggressive schoolyard bullying.

Image ID: A theatrical poster for Firestarter(2022)


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Firestarter: Rekindled (2002)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform p

Firestarter: Rekindled(2002)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies (and occasional TV shows) and does not reflect the quality of the film or show itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Firestarter: Rekindled has a few sudden flashbacks that use flashing lights to transition between scenes. Early on, there is a party scene with severe color-changing strobe lights. There are severe flickering lights in three scenes: one where a character is suffocated with a plastic bag, one where one woman faces three armed people in a hallway, and one where a woman in a hospital bed is asked about her powers.

All of the camera work in this miniseries is either stationary or very smooth.

Flashing Lights: 7/10. Motion Sickness: 0/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: An elderly man lustfully pursues a woman he knew when she was a child. One child faces agonizing consequences of their own actions.

NOTE: Our evaluation of Firestarter (2022) is now available on the $1 Tier and above on our Patreon page!

Image ID: A poster for Firestarter: Rekindled


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Firestarter (1984)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of po

Firestarter(1984)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Firestarter has several moments when people watch explosions happen, and strobe effects are shown as they watch. There is an extended sequence in a thunderstorm, where the lightning effects range from mild to severe strobes. A few TV screens are shown, one of which strobes severely while a character plays video games.

At the beginning of the film, some of the camera work is handheld, with brief shots taking place inside moving vehicles. After the opening sequence, all of the camera work is either stationary or very smooth.

Flashing Lights: 9/10. Motion Sickness: 1/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: A Native American character is played by a white actor. A child feels personal guilt over the death of a parent. The same child is forcibly separated from the other parent.

NOTE: Our evaluation of the 2022 remake of this film is now available on the $1 Tier and above on our Patreon page!


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Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It i

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness(2022)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness has sudden scenes of strobe effects as portals open and other magic happens. Inside a residential home, all of the lights flicker for several seconds in one scene.

Several shots have the camera rolling sideways, which is disorienting each time. A few scenes have no discernable sense of up and down. One confrontation involves spinning at very high speeds. In one scene, all of the walls and floor move like a kaleidoscope.

Flashing Lights: 9/10. Motion Sickness: 9/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: Immediately after being praised for not vomiting, a character vomits off-screen, multiple times with graphic sound effects. One character convulses violently during a dramatic moment. There is some brief demon-like body contortion in one scene.

Image ID: A theatrical poster for Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness(2022)


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Hulk (2003)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential

Hulk(2003)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Hulk has several scenes where changes in a character’s blood are depicted artistically, most of which have some form of strobe effect. Multiple scenes show bright muzzle flashes from machine guns. A late scene with electrical equipment being misused has extreme strobe effects. This is followed by bright lightning and electrical effects throughout an action sequence.

The camera shakes very briefly during some scenes. There is brief flying and high-speed chasing, with one sequence involving a long fall from extreme heights.

Flashing Lights: 9/10. Motion Sickness: 3/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: Several animals suffer violent deaths in this film, including one in a testing lab. There are flashbacks to domestic violence.

Image ID: A theatrical poster for Hulk(2003)


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Daredevil (2003)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of pote

Daredevil(2003)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Daredevil has several scenes from the point-of-view of a sonar effect, which creates frequent strobe effects. Dark environments are lit several times by machine guns, flashing cameras, and lightning, all of which create moderate to severe strobe effects.

There are several overhead shots of a big city, many of which move unnaturally fast several blocks at a time. The camera shakes gently during some action scenes.

Flashing Lights: 10/10. Motion Sickness: 5/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: One scene in a courtroom shows gaslighting of a rape victim. A sound meant to simulate a ringing in the ears is heard several times. 

Image ID: A theatrical poster for Daredevil(2003)


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Blade: Trinity (2004)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of

Blade: Trinity(2004)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Blade: Trinity has machine gun fire in dark environments, multiple scenes where the room lights flicker, and a minor strobe effect that happens as people disintegrate, which happens several times. The first scene has an unpredictable, extreme, and pointless strobe effect. There are brief strobe effects in the stylized opening and closing credits.

There is some peril at extreme heights. Outside of some fast camera work during action scenes, all of the camera work in this film is either stationary or very smooth.

Flashing Lights: 10/10. Motion Sickness: 2/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: A lot of blood is shown. Late in the film, three dogs are implied to die, with no resolution of whether or not they actually do.

Image ID: A theatrical poster for Blade: Trinity(2004)


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Blade II (2002)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of poten

Blade II(2002)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Blade II has extreme and constant strobe lights through an extended nightclub scene, during which the scene cuts into and out of the strobe lights very suddenly several times. Various action sequences use machine guns. The title card at the beginning is shown with sudden and unpredictable strobe effects. A few brief moments depict a device that shines an extremely bright light with some flickering.

Most of the camera work in this film is either stationary or very smooth. There is some brief peril at extreme heights. The end fight has some camera movement that is faster than normal.

Flashing Lights: 10/10. Motion Sickness: 3/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: Excessive blood, with practical gore effects. There is an extremely graphic autopsy scene.

Image ID: A theatrical poster for Blade II(2002)


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South Park: The Streaming Wars (2022)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to

South Park: The Streaming Wars(2022)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

South Park: The Streaming Wars has no cause for concern with flashing lights.

One brief sequence shows boats sailing on large waves of water.

Flashing Lights: 0/10. Motion Sickness: 1/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: Cartoon gore, and gross-out gags involving urine and feces. The type of misinformation that hinders transgender rights is shared and believed by two characters.

Image ID: A poster for South Park: The Streaming Wars


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South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid (2021)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is

South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid(2021)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid has no cause for concern with flashing lights.

All of the camera work in this special is stationary.

Flashing Lights: 0/10. Motion Sickness: 0/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: Real-life lockdown measures are satirically compared to the Holocaust.

Image ID: A poster for South Park: Post Covid: The Return of Covid


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South Park: Post Covid (2021)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform p

South Park: Post Covid(2021)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

South Park: Post Covid has brief moments where projected holograms flicker off. One scene showing a computer screen has some mild flashing.

All of the camera work in this special is stationary.

Flashing Lights: 4/10. Motion Sickness: 0/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: One central source of humor in this film involves the constant assumptions that a historically anti-Semitic character will continue to express such attitudes. One character vomits after a gross act.

Image ID: A poster for South Park: Post Covid


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Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to i

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa has a few scenes with colored lights moving rapidly around the room, the second of which is followed by strobe lights in a dance number. The second production company logo at the beginning of the film has rapidly-changing colors. There is a brief shot of an old-fashioned TV, which has minor strobe effects.

There is some handheld camera work in this film, but most of it is either stationary or very smooth. Several scenes take place in moving vehicles.

Flashing Lights: 9/10. Motion Sickness: 4/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: There is some gross-out humor involving fake genitals and feces. People are pranked throughout the film to believe a child is being neglected or otherwise abused. The final prank takes place at a child beauty pageant, during which a boy performs a sexualized dance dressed as a girl.


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Jackass 3D (2010)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of pot

Jackass 3D (2010)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Jackass 3D has very brief rapidly-changing colors during the MTV production company logo. The rest of the film is safe and free of photosensitivity risks.

Most of this film is shot with handheld cameras, with occasional shaking. One sequence has brief moments of simulated zero-gravity.

Flashing Lights: 3/10. Motion Sickness: 5/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: This film has a lot of gross-out humor, most of which involves urine or feces, with a late sequence showing an excessive amount of feces. People vomit and occasionally dry heave on screen as a result nearly every gross-out gag. One sequence involves thousands of bees.


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Jackass Number Two (2006)This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform peopl

Jackass Number Two (2006)

This is a Movie Health Community evaluation. It is intended to inform people of potential health hazards in movies and does not reflect the quality of the film itself. The information presented here has not been reviewed by any medical professionals.

Jackass Number Two has some very mild flickering of light in the second production company logo. When a man’s moan is heard in the third logo, the rest of the film is safe to watch.

Most of this film is shot with handheld cameras, many of which shake occasionally. One sequence takes place on a boat, with heavy rocking.

Flashing Lights: 2/10. Motion Sickness: 7/10.

TRIGGER WARNING: This film shows several real injuries, both how they happen and the aftermath. This includes abrasions, burns, piercings, and animal bites. Two of these injuries cause profuse bleeding. One sequence involves thousands of bees. There is gross-out humor that involves both human and animal feces, and animal reproductive fluid. Multiple people vomit as a result of gross-out gags. There is some cultural insensitivity in this film, with the final stunt being wildly Islamophobic.


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