thearrowteam:

Alter Diversity

When I joined the DID community I thought that people would judge me because my system’s not “diverse enough” or call us fake cause we’re all somewhat alike. And I’m not talking about just “alters of color” and that whole discourse. I’m talking about how most of us have brown or blonde hair and brown eyes with nerdy looking glasses. I’m talking about most of us vaguely have the same fashion sense and hair style and pattern of speech. I’m talking about how most of us listen to the same music, like the same characters, have the same favorite colors.

I thought we weren’t different enough.

The first time I showed someone a picture of all of us they made a comment of lots of brown eyes, blonde hair and glasses. It made me feel weird then. Because I was already self conscious that we were faking because I we were so similar.

But I realized something. The body has dirty blonde hair, brown eyes, and nerdy black thick framed glasses.

It makes sense that most of us take form of that with slight variations. Because all together we make up this boy, I’m going to call him Arrow for convenience sake. Together we make up Arrow.

The differences that we do have in appearance all come from different aspects of our life (this is of course excluding introjects who got their appearance from source). We all need glasses to see so why wouldn’t we have glasses in the innerworld? Those of us with red hair split off more recently because the host died his hair red (with the exception of one alter who has red hair because the host used to be fascinated by red hair). We have blue haired alters because once Arrow died his hair blue. Our alters appearances are a relfection of our reality.

We don’t need to be diverse. We are one boy. Together we are Arrow. We don’t need alters who are diverse. We need alters that reflect our reality, because they are the ones who are best equip for it. After all that’s what alters are. Alters are a reflection of your reality that work together to cope with stress and trauma.

Your system doesn’t have to be diverse. Your system just has to be you.

PS. I’m not saying that having alters that look very different from the body isn’t valid. What your system had to split is what your system had to split to survive. It’s different for every system. This is about our system and why our system is the way it is.

- The Arrow Team

dissociatingdingo:

Things Fictional Introjects are: 

• A real and valid part of having DID/OSDD.
• Dissociated parts, just like the rest of their system.
• Created by trauma, stress, overwhelming experiences, or the system’s inability to integrate new materials into existing alters/parts.
• Centered around a “substitute belief” and can be based on characters and media that you have no strong attachment to or may not even like.
• Worthy of the same care and support everyone in the system deserves.
• Capable of growth beyond their source material. 

Things Fictional Introjects are not: 

• The same thing as “kins” or “kinning” with something. 
• Createdjustby liking, identifying with, being strongly attached to, or being attracted to a character. 
• A completely different “type” of alter that should be treated differently than the rest of the system. 
• An exact copy of their source. 
• Incapable of growing beyond their source. 

[ This post is about Fictional Introjects as experienced by people with DID and OSDD. Please keep reblogs and replies relevant to DID/OSDD and dissociative experiences. ]

system doodles ! i enjoy frightening izzy. he’s my funny grandpa and he’ll suffer for it

multiplicitymemes:

Caretaker & Protector Dynamics In Our System

This was written last night when I was age slid way down (15, which is a lower than I usually go without instantly becoming a small kid), and also was hella sleepy, but I figured some people might still find it interesting/educational if it prompts them to see the interconnectedness in their own systems.

I think it’s really interesting the way our caretaker/protector dynamic thing goes now cuz we have like literally more of those than we do of trauma holders (don’t get me wrong the rest of us each have our stuff to heal, to varying degrees, but not as a primary function of our roles in the system) but it’s because we’re not all responsible for taking care of or protecting the same people.

James is like the protector of last resort. In the sense that if somehow you manage to get him to front in protector mode, either you have like literally endangered our life (or the life of a person we consider friend or family), or you have fucked up monumentally in some other way. So he rarely ever does that. But when he does it is EFFECTIVE. As a caretaker he does almost the complete opposite. Aside from give advice if we ask him he basically just age slides and in the headspace transforms into an adorable baby panther cub and is like “hello, cute kitty here to give you love and make you smile!! ❤️❤️” (Tbh, that’s pretty darn effective too .) So he’s like the opposite extreme of each of those axes.

Then there are the gatekeepers of each subsystem, who also have both protector and caretaker roles. And also do it in different ways. They are the ones who are most versatile I think, with these. Cuz they are in charge of doing it each for their own subsystem but also now that I think of it kind for everyone. John does the mental/emotional caretaking for everyone. Jessica does it physically -makes sure we go to appointments, take meds, have clean clothes consistently, tells us to go the F to sleep [usually in the internal form of a small, extremely cute fox so we can’t easily say no - which I think is blackmail ] when it’s late etc. Then in terms of being protectors (and this is really weird to think about) she is sort of a physical protector?? In the sense she is like “yeah I will just straight up leave this dangerous scenario, peace ✌” and GO whereas some others might feel they could not leave. Whereas John is like that about emotional situations. Like “uh, sorry, no, you’re being an asshole. I don’t have to tolerate that. Get a therapist and get a clue.” Except you know they’re both way more eloquent than that and don’t always or even usually try to say anything beyond the minimum to be able to extricate us from whatever the dangerous situation is.

Finally you have me as just a protector and Remi as just a caretaker, and I think these are just for James. Obviously we are not the big guns. But because he IS it’s not like that’s what he needs. If he needs back up or someone to relieve him of duty, John and Jessica have him covered, but when it comes to like…. there being people who don’t have responsibilities to look after or look out for anyone else in the system in particular except him, that’s Remi and me.

So maybe John and Jessica protect and take care of the subsystems, James protects and takes care of them, and Remi and I protect and take care of him. And everybody has somebody. I like that…. Yeah

[/end of rambling observations]

If people find this sort of thing interesting/helpful to their own contemplations, I might end up writing more of them (on different patterns that relate to system mechanics).

-Jenn (29)

Treasure Box

When you lose your past you don’t just lose the scary bits. You lose it all. Because that’s how the physics of the brain work. So just because you can’t remember something - I mean not some specific thing but a period of time that is just blacked out months or years- that doesn’t mean whatever is behind that blackness is gone because it’s pure terror. It’s gone because you felt you couldn’t afford to remember it anymore. But sometimes, the things you feel you can least afford to remember are the ones you hold most dear, and therefore most want to protect.

And you send them away to keep them hidden- glowing and untarnished like they always were, so that none of what you are being put through currently can touch them, can taint them. Like so many other things you loved over your life have been. So that they can’t be used against you or twisted by abusers or ridiculed or used to stab you into submission.

Somewhere in there are all your Other Days. Not the ones that were terrifying, in which your life consisted of living for your tormentors, and only ever as they willed you to. Not those days- they were never yours at all. But the Other Days.

The days where you got to exist for your own sake, and have Thoughts- and feelings and hopes and dreams, without reprimand. Even if you had to steal yourself from everything and everyone, and run away in order to have them. Even if those days were really all comprised of separate moments, strewn far apart across the landscape of your memory. Even if they had to be sewn together like a patchwork quilt, lovingly and meticulously by hand, to make them into Days. To be moulded into a Story. To be forged into a truth. Even if it took all that…. you had them. You had them, and they were Yours, and they are always yours, by right. And they ARE still in there.

Of course those memories are all still in there, somewhere- They can’t just be deleted…… They can be lost, misplaced, even purposely hidden. But never gone.

And if you are brave and are willing to look at what makes up the dark curtain that separates you from your past, and see what It’s made of. And face whatever that is….. They will be given back to you.

-Juliette