DID things

When someone asks if you’re okay and you answer:

yes, no, maybe, i dunno

cause everyone is feeling different things so you have no idea

For Protector Alters

You’re amazing! we love you so much. We wouldn’t be where we are without you. You are vital to you’re system!!! You’re doing an amazing job! Keep going, we need you. We know that it can be quite frustrating, but we are all grateful for you, even if it sometimes doesn’t seem like it. We love you!!

Sometimes I wish my alters had their own separate bodies so we could physically do stuff together like shopping with the girls and talk out loud to each other and try things on in our own bodies and compliment and hype each other up cause I think North would be a good hype women.

Having DID is having to always check all of your social media because who said what to your friends when you weren’t around?

paravie:

Me: *hears something weird*

Me: omg Did you hear that??

Person in room: Hear what?

Me: *remembers I hallucinate*

Me:…

Me: Never mind

Let’s talk about full integration / final fusion where the parts are never erased and where being a whole-yet-multifaceted person is the goal of the fusion.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone talk about this. Then again, I don’t think that there are many systems on Tumblr who are at this point in therapy with this particular goal.

Final fusion is usually thought of as the merging of all parts into one self. Before fusion, there are metaphorical walls of dissociation between you and other parts of your mind. Whichever part of the mind is active is perceived as “Me” while the other parts are perceived as “Not Me”. After fusion, those metaphorical walls disappear, allowing all parts of the mind to become “Me”.

In the past, the westernized approach to self often led to therapists pressuring fully fused systems to stop valuing (or even acknowledging) that they had parts. It makes sense to me why those older systems would often compare fusion to death. In the present day, the plurality of self is being valued more. Especially with therapeutic practices like internal family systems, it’s more normalized to acknowledge that everyone has multiple parts to themselves.

When I fused with all of my parts for the first time, we still felt each other. We were one person with full access to each other, but also somehow still parts. We were connected parts and a single person at the same exact time. I thought that maybe I did it wrong, or maybe I wasn’t fully fused yet, but my therapist (who is from a culture where having parts is more normalized) told me that this is just another way that final fusion can be experienced.

So, full integration / final fusion doesn’t mean that parts have to go away. Maybe that’s how some people want to still do it. If someone wants to recover like that, please let them. But this is a type of final fusion that I have never heard talked about before. 

I often felt alone with this experience. I felt like no one would believe me if I brought this to Tumblr, because people can get so aggressive about fusion. Something that can be so beautiful is often shoved aside and attacked. I think it’s important to talk about this, though. Hearing about this can probably really help some people.

I want to share some statements from former DID patients who have fully fused, from this professional study. These statements helped me feel less alone with my experience.

Rebecca:

“Today I feel I am fully aware and present both as the collective of parts and as any individual part. That is, even when a part of me is present, there is a collective awareness of the experience.”

Irene:

“It gradually dawned on me that I could get some relief if I paid enough attention to the voices and their pain. I understood they needed to be heard… . My integration is about being in control, being aware, being able to understand myself. Whenever I’m anxious and I can’t understand why, I turn inside and I ask: What’s going on? I usually get an answer that either helps me deal better with an external problem or guides me as to how to calm myself down… . There is a clear advantage to my situation: I have better access to my subconscious than most people do. I call this ability Creative Disintegration.”

Loraine:

“I think the best way to describe my integration process is as a progressive one. First, there were brief moments of integration; later on I was integrated during some of the time but wasn’t on other occasions. This developed into a period in which I was integrated most of the time and then, into full integration with only momentary periods of disintegration… . It is a process of forward and backward movement on the dissociation continuum, but the general trend is towards a decrease in dissociation… . once you’re integrated, you don’t feel fragmented anymore, but in emergency situations there is a proclivity to utilize the mechanism for brief periods of time to help with coping.”

Some notes from the study:

“It is noteworthy that integration was not always described in terms of a renunciation of dissociative capabilities. Rebecca, Loraine, and even more so, Irene described occasional post-integrational awareness of the old psychological entities that once formed the personality alters… .  Whereas Sara and Tina talked about their lives as ‘one,’ others were clearly continuing to utilize some of the advantages of the dissociative process. It is probable, though, that rather than representing ‘imperfect’ integrations this variance portrays the naturally occurring distribution of dissociative phenomena in the population. It is, perhaps, not only an unreasonable expectation but also an undesirable outcome to have a useful defense mechanism, naturally occurring in society, completely abolished in this particular population.”

I think maybe it’s important to recognize that the boundary between multiplicity and fusion isn’t as clear cut as social media likes to make it out to be.

Ok I’m gonna explain this feeling I get the best I can and idk just lemme know if there’s a name for it.

It’s like I’m manic but I also can’t move I’ll be
disoriented and half out of it and my mind will be racing and I just need to do something but don’t know what and can’t even really do much.
Usually I end up having a “fit” I’ll kick and flail and punch things and myself as I’m curled up on the bed or something. Sometimes it’s more “quiet” and I’ll just curl up in a ball gripping my head while shaking. Sometimes I’ll have increased paranoia.
I’ll feel like I’m coming out of my own skin and nothing will feel right and everything is always uncomfortable . I can’t put a mood to it because it IS a mood but a mood I can’t describe.
It’s different than a mixed state too btw because I get that too sometimes.
It’s worse if I forget to take my mood stabilizers btw.
This was a daily event before I started taking them.

What is this??? Does anyone else get this??
I’m tagging everything I know I have, I probably forgot something but idk

Question for Followers

by Octavian (18) co-John

So I don’t know why this didn’t occur to us before, but I feel like it might be very productive to ask if there is anything you guys would be especially interested to see covered in upcoming posts— any topics of information you’re curious about but have not had much luck finding discussion of in the wider community. This can be just academic information that appears in some of those really costly books you’d love to have but can’t afford at the moment (for example Coping With Trauma Related Dissociation, a really extensive combination textbook/workbook for people coming to terms with a diagnosis of DID or OSDD-1 by Suzette Boone, Kathy Steele, and Onno Van der Hart). Or it could be experience-based insight on topics related to recovery and healing from trauma and fragmentation that we, as someone at the end stage of treatment for DID, can provide in a verified way that is not usually on offer in the online community.

We have so much we feel like we’ve got a duty to share the wealth of information for, but it’s really difficult to narrow it down because it’s been collected over, at this point, nearly two DECADES of research, study, and introspection. So whenever we sit down to write something up to share with you all, we have the tendency to almost start planning a whole damn text book. Which will be super useful when we have the time and opportunity to literally author one, but in the meantime causes a sort of indecision overload when it comes to making educational posts. Basically we end up only writing one if it’s come up a lot lately among our circle of friends, or if we’ve been contemplating the way our thoughts or awareness of it have evolved over the years for our own sake.

While that strategy is fine for us, in terms of our own intellectual expression, we’d like to really be serving the needs of the community as much as we can— that’s what we really made this blog for after all. So if there is anything that you guys are curious about or are in need of insight on from somebody who’s a step ahead of you in the recovery process - or HECK, even just a secondary perspective from somebody you’re at a similar point in recovery to….- we’d like to invite you to either reblog this with your questions/topic requests, or send us asks listing them, whichever one is more comfortable for you. We’re aware some people can’t be open about having DID/OSDD-1 on their blogs, so the reblog option may not be available to you. But we still want to give everyone who might read this blog regularly the same opportunity to contribute to the requests for content. (If you reblog, feel free to repeat topics others have already mentioned, so that we can get a sense of whether it’s something there’s a really wide interest in.)

These requests can apply to DID/OSDD-1, PTSD/C-PTSD, or dissociation and recovery generally. There’s no time frame on the offer to take content requests, because it isn’t for our own sake that we’re making this offer - so whether you come up with something in a day or a week or a month, or whenever feel free to use either of the methods above to send yours in. We can’t promise that we will always write and post an article the next day after receiving a request, but we definitely would use them as a way to inform our choices on the content we do create as well as to inspire us to produce more content, and we absolutely want to contribute to meeting the needs of the community as much as we can.

Thoughts From Trauma Processing - On Causes of My Derealization

I have been processing a lot lately about the ways and reasons I, as a specific alter in our system [vs the system as a whole, in general] tend to dissociate at the times it occurs when there is no traumatic thing going on. And the realization I came to is that I spent a lot of my life being made to feel like I had no rightto be here. I often was treated like my presence itself was a burden on the people around me, like I was inconveniencing them just by existing. And when that had gone on long enough, well I didn’t exactly believe it, but I came to expect being treated that way so automatically that I guess I stopped registering so many aspects of my physical existence. If I didn’t feel that I was really anywhere to begin with, then there wasn’t anywhere for me to be exiled from, was there? But that strategy, no matter how well it worked to keep me from just hiding in the headspace all the time, and let me continue participating in life to some degree and helping my system….. It was fucking wrong. Not of me to do, but of the people who abused me to put me in a position of feeling it was the only resort left to me. In the trauma processing work I’ve recently been doing, I’ve come to understand that it robbed me of the literal awareness, to a degree greater and more constant than I’d ever thought, that I literally [physically] exist. That I have a right to bodily be here. As much as not only every other part of my system, but as much as every other person on Earth.

So if anybody reading this has felt the same way, or has had a bigger struggle with derealization than is explained by just wanting to be away from the bad/stressful/frightening/traumatic things…. I want to say for the record -in case nobody else has said it before- that you have a right to be here. You have a right to exist. You have a right to take up space and to use the time given to you. You are not burdening anybody by doing the things you want to do, or being the person you feel you really are drawn to being. Your freedom to fully engage in living is not something anybody else has any right whatsoever to impugn. It doesn’t matter who they are or what their job is or what they have (either only supposedly or even actually) done for you. The one thing a person can never ever owe as a debt to anybody else for anything is the price of their right to be present in their own body and connected to their own life.

And if you wonder how that can possibly be or how you can ever believe it when literally nobody has ever acted like they wanted you to be? Well then, please, consider that track record officially broken. I want you to be here. Not for some reason that benefits me specifically -Hell, I probably don’t even know more than a couple people reading this- and not for just the sake of your system not being stripped of the benefit of you all being as engaged in life as possible— But just because I believe that every human being that has ever lived has the ability to enrich the entire species, just by existing and having their own unique perspective to contribute to the perceptions of others. That’s how we all learn, as a collective. That applies to you, and it applies to me. And I hope others can reclaim that sense of right as I have.

Stay strong - because you’re doing brilliantly so far, even if you don’t realize it yet.

-John

DID/OSDD-1 Is NotMultiplicity

I don’t know who the fuck came up with calling it that, but it’s not multiplicity. Calling it such dramatically distorts matters and aids the anti-recovery agenda. It creates the impression that anyone who is a system [not HAS, nobody “HAS {implication: person doing having is not same as persons being had} a system”] has been multiplied from the normal amount a human brain can contain. That is a lie. It’s just as much a lie as endogenics believing THEY can be “multiplied” by spirits from imaginary universes jumping into their heads. But it has the ability to hurt the people who believe it instead of just everyone around them, as the endos’ ‘belief’ [which they don’t really believe but want you to think they do so that you cannot question their sanity without questioning your own].

Plurality is still fucking wrong too, though it is wrong in differently emphasized ways. First problem? Nobody refers to fractions as having been made plural. Where multiplicity implies multiplication from an original whole to many wholes, plurality implies to the average human mind two things. 1. That, again,there are multiple whole numbers involved. 2. This plurality existed from the beginning [vs. having multiplied from some original starting point]. See problems with word above, plus addition of implication that it could be naturally occurring and minus the absolute implication that it is a deviation from the original blueprint of one whole human.

There is only one number/calculatory term that has ever been used for DID/OSDD-1 that doesn’t obscure the nature of the disorder(s). That is fragmentation.You are not plural [multiple complete people in one body, possibly naturally occurring]. You are not multiple [multiple complete people in one body, somehow having made more human souls from the raw material found in originally only one].You are [multiple fractional people— still only people despite being less than a person because ‘person’ is still what their made of — having been prevented from ever assembling and then being thus susceptible to being further] FRAGMENTED.

THAT —Not just the implication from the second word that it was part of the set of PDs— is why the name of the disorder was changed from Multiple Personality Disorder. Once it was identified that this was NOT a personality disorder it became clear that there were not multiple anythings involved. If that weren’t the case, then it would have been called Multiple Identity Disorder. It’s not. Dissociate means to disconnect from. Dissociative Identity Disorder means The Disorder of Being Cut Off From Yourself. The disorder of having been cut apart.

What User Names Can Tell You About A Person’s State of Acceptance of DID/OSDD-1:

• Anybody who uses Plurality in their user name is probably endo [fake, and not even trying to hide it] or at least ‘pretendo’ [fake, either not trying to hide it or trying to say they have DID/OSDD-1], or has been strongly influenced by them. These people tend otherwise be in denial of the fact there was or ought ever be one person to have one body.
• Anybody who uses Multiplicity in their user name does not accept that their system makes one person and they are parts of the same psyche. This type of person is either somebody has been taken in by the massive anti-integration, anti-recovery campaign of propaganda….. or directly one of the people perpetrating it.
• Anybody who uses Fragmentation in their name probably: 1. Accepts that they are parts of one person that has been fractured. 2. Knows a bit about DID/OSDD-1 that did not come from the internet. 3. Actively supports recovery.

In honor of that, and in light of the fact the term system, which is the medically correct term and should be clearly only referring to people with DID/OSDD-1, has been stolen, hijacked, and then co-opted by people who would not know what being a dissociative Identity was like if you hit them in the face with all your memories….. We will be taking a stand against these trends and changing our blog URL from cosmos-system to fragmented-cosmos. I also am starting a tag for all of those who would like to be able to read about DID/OSDD-1 things without having to sift through a bunch of people denying or having been prevented from learning what the disorder actually is. This is #actuallyfragmented. Because we actuallyarefragmented. Have a nice day.

-Storm

About Integration and the Anti-Integration Agenda

I have heard many people -lately, and just always on the internet, unfortunately- asking questions about ‘integrative therapy’ as an option for the treatment of DID/OSDD-1, and nothing could be more frustrating to hear…. Because it’s such an indication of the profound smear campaign that several forces in the online community have launched against education, clarity, and truth about our disorder. And I have reached a point where I honestly cannot just endure standing here silently, pretending it is useless to provide people with reality and information that combats that.

There is no such thing as integrative therapy. There is just therapy. And if you do enough of it for long enough you will integrate. Integration just means the long process of healing your trauma. Because an integrated complete identity is what the human brain was quite literally designed to build from the moment you were born. It is not death, loss, or denial of anything. It is the construction of a consciousness and vehicle for experiencing life that holds ALL of the component abilities, skills, emotional potentials, and memories.

Since that is what a brain is designed to build, if by any means it can, that is exactly what will happen. The only thing stopping your brain right now is unaddressed and unhealed trauma. So, of course naturally when that is addressed, so too is your identity made whole finally. This is an incredibly slow and grueling process. It is also the most rewarding thing you can ever possibly do and the ONLY way to find out what it feels like to be fully alive. No one can force you to heal [not even yourself] but if anyone ever says a single other thing about integration than that? Either they’ve been a victim of the misinformation campaign that has cropped up these last few years so virulent it borders on mass brainwashing (and believe me, my system has had to heal more than enough literal brainwashing to know how close that comes to hitting the mark) that is designed to keep all of us from ever healing or people who are not really systems from having to fuck off and get a life……. OR they are quite literally the people purposely trying to instill said indoctrination into you, and they are LYING.

I never have been that forceful before in public statements, because I believed that no one would hear me over the screaming and bleating of hysterical sheep-in-wolves-clothing who do not want to admit —or, more importantly, let you admit that Truth— because it would cost them one or more things they value and covet. But you know what? I have decided I have faith in all of you. You deserve to see at least ONE person, anywhere, state this. There IS no door number three, for the options of who promotes anti-integration propaganda— there are just the perpetrators, and their victims. You can’t parrot propaganda as an ‘ignorant but innocent bystander’. If you’ve fallen prey to a piece of missinformation, enough so that you repeat it, you are one of the victims.

And to those who want to howl or lambast me for saying that? Go ahead. Do your best. Scream like an incoherent, rabid beast until your throats are raw. Reblog and respond with long virulently aggressive rants. Post as many links to the same three articles or the the blogs of the propoganda promoters and pretend it agrees with any book written about DID. Show pictures of out-of-context excerpts from those books. Even go ahead and send me all the hate you want in my ask box or personal messages. I don’t give a fuck, and I will not shut up. There is nothing any of you can do to me that can cost me anything at all. *laughs* What exactly the fuck do I have to lose? I don’t do all I have for the community for attention, popularity, or friendship. I don’t need support as an individual in the healing process from anyone here — I have a strong support network in real life, and I don’t lack any information I might be able to find there. The ugly truth is that, in the several yearsI have been here, I have quite literally never encountered ONE single fact about the disorders I hadn’t already known — most of it was presented far worse and more distortedly than I imagined it was possible to do. I don’t gain anything from posting on this blog except the potential to make a difference that brings healing to people who need it most. Anyone who would like to take thataway from me…. Well, too bad. You can’t get me to delete my blog, and you don’t have the ability to delete it yourself. Or you’d have done that a LONG long time ago.

ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO SIGN A CONFESSION TO BEING ONE OF THE PERPETRATORS OF THIS MASS-INDOCTRINATION OF ANTI-RECOVERY PROPAGANDA, I FORMALLY INVITE YOU TO DO SO BY REBLOGGING THIS POST AND TRYING TO ATTACK ME, TRUTH AND SCIENCE.

-Samael

Education and Science in the DID/OSDD-1 Community - A Titanic Rant

Why the fuck do people obsess over false dichotomy and often devastate themselves because of it? It seems like in the DID/OSDD-1 community (like in much of well….. civilization right now), people [on average] have totally lost the ability to be discriminating. No, not as in being prejudiced; as in being able to tell the difference between things. And on the other hand it’s also (somehow simultaneously)as though they cannot comprehend the concept of moderation/mediation-of-principles/equilibrium. Nothing [as presented or addressed by those holding the status quo of this community] can ever be dynamic, everything must be static, nothing can ever be complex or in motion or relevant only by its appropriate relationship with something else. And the second someone tries to embrace the ability to comprehend complexity-of-interrelated-information, to acknowledge that facts (be they scientific or about the emotional reality of your own trauma and experiences) are not ever something that can be correctly interpreted in small numbers -let alone in isolation from every other fact in creation…..

They are then told (by a terrifyingly staggeringly large number of people, most of them completely unsolicited, and some quite violently)that no one can have a monopoly on the truth, that everyone must define (but create,they mean CREATE, as though it is optional or they can get one from Build-a-Fact) the Truth for themselves. That the cost of possessing the ability as a human being of being the one to define, describe, and develop the qualities of your psyche is the Faustian deal to accept [and then proceed to act upon that acceptance] that every single other thing in existence can only be said to be real by mutual CONSENT. And they refuse to consent, so you better shut up and fuck off, or bow down and get in life-ending-LINE. This is insanity. This is what your abusers wanted to turn you into. Don’t fucking LET them.

We do NOT have the right to deliniate reality. Human beings have no right whatsoever to change the fabric of space-time [even just —maybe ESPECIALLY just— within the confines of what they will and will not acknowledge about it] whenever something is uncomfortable to them. It is NOT our “freedom of interpretation” that makes us unique. It is our perspective. Do you know what freedom of interpretation means [rather than inclination toward specializing in specific emphases]? It means “when we are wrong, because the tool [our minds] that goes about evaluating facts and rendering best hypotheses for the implications those facts have when taken as a bigger picture is unique, so are our mistakes.” Never EVER tell someone to be quiet because they speak a fact you do not like or have not heard yet or wish they hadn’t told you. Tell someone to be quiet only when they speak a postulation (as though it were a fact) that you have already tested and obtained results that strongly indicate its falsehood. Then explain to them what you learned. They will then be able to investigate it for themselves if they like, which if you are correct will yield similar results.

The mass-indoctrination of idea that the mental sciences are not just as concrete as any other is ridiculous and an attempt to do what people have ALWAYS done to the mentally ill— shut them up and write them off. Your emotions are chemically and electrically measurable as events and physical states in your brain. It is possible for a scientist to measure and diagram for you PRECISELY which parts of the activity of your brain indicate something about your humanity and which indicate something about your individuality as a specific human being. When science says “theory” it means “this may not be finished yet”, not “this might be totally wrong and we can’t know for sure, ever, no matter what, so feel free to ignore it when you want!”

•The theory of evolution is a theory and not a fact not because scientists have not obtained sufficient data to confirm or deny that evolution is occuring, or that its basic fundamental relationships are not readily testable and reliably consistent. It is still a theory because nobody has finished mapping it yet.

•The theory of gravity is a theory and not a fact notbecause scientists cannot confirm gravity exists and affects absolutely all matter according to a set of consistent [math] functions…… It’s a theory because despite having a quantity of data about the phenomenon sufficiently large to fall into the category of “larger than the human brain can calculate” [due to being able to, unlike for the process of evolution] make direct physical observation of it and its rules for affecting matter unassisted and in fact continue doing so nearly constantly throughout our physical existence]… nobody has yet figured out why the fuck it works, given what the rest of Physics is doing. But it does. Anytime you’re uncertain about that, just close your eyes and ask your body “are you sure gravity is real, and also non-subjective/unaffected in its definition by my perception or consideration of it?” It will give you a reliable answer.

•And finally structural dissociation is a theory and not a fact NOT because there might be some totally unrelated and undiscovered alternative explanation [“or even MANY! varying from person to person!” As some people love to suggest], NOTbecause nobody can know for sure how things work in the brain (no the mind is not separate from the brain, anymore than your life [the biological qualities-process-fact] can be said to exist independently of your body as a whole) and thus can only ever make guesses about shadows on a wall…………… But just literally because the scientists that put it forth as their contribution to the body of knowledge known as the Definition of Humanity knew damn well that it’s not even remotely DONE YET. That there is so much more complexity it can grow to include the explanations for all of the nuances of.

If it is the key to the beginnings to a mathematics for the phenomenon of identity development [of identity itself, one day] in humanity then think of it this way: How dare you try to obstruct anybody else from believing they have a right to utilize it when it is offered— and what does it make you in the epic saga of the human quest for self-understanding, if you’re the one getting in the face the person who first offered humanity fire and threatening them with torment and exile if they complete their attempt to bestow it. Ask yourself too, what would have happened to the very notion of sanity itself if when the ancestors of Homo sapiens first began communicating their shared experiences, no one had been cooperative enough to create a standardized set of sounds-for-thoughts [which came to be called language]? Where would this planet be? Where would we be? …..Would we still be here? Would we ever have been here at all?

What if when the first people to ever describe who they were and what experiences of their life shaped them into that explained that there is this thing called emotion that despite our differences is a shared experience across our species…… people had told them that it was ridiculous, rude, or unfair or even evil to try to force people to admit that we all can experience the same emotions and that a given emotion can be said to exist and have definite qualities and consistently describable observable impacts. That you were persecuting and oppressing them by telling them it was unfair, deceptive, and harmful for them to use the word heartbreak when they meant resentment, or the word disappointment when they meant jealousy, or the words ‘deal with’ when they meant ‘agree never to deal with’, or the word love when they meant fear……..

And then realize that that’s EXACTLY what gaslighting is. And stop. Fucking. Doing it. To anyone. EVER again. Even to yourselves.

-River (15)

Spending a month away from tumblr has taught me one thing, more clearly than anything else, and that this is the Number One place to cause people with already terrible mental health, to get much, much worse.

You’re supposed to want to feel better.

No. It’s not your fault. No, it’s not your fault.

No, you don’t deserve this. No, you didn’t deserve it.

No. The reason you keep wading in the trauma, is because the part of your brain that reminds you that sometimes bad things happen, is not communicating with the part of your brain that reminds you something bad happens to you. You’re not healing by constantly reblogging self-deprecating posts. You’re not venting. You’re ruminating. It feels good because it validates the parts of your brain that have turned the experience against you. We feel good when we’re validated. Ruminating in what happened validates what is hurting you. Nothing else.

No. Avoidance isn’t the answer either. Other options exist.

You were a person before that trauma. You are not made up of what happened to you. You can be you.

No, positivity isn’t always achievable.

Not everything is all-or-nothing. Your brain just thinks of those polar opposites first. You have to consciously think to realize the other options.

Yes. You really do matter. If someone else made a mistake, you’d tell them everyone makes mistakes, right? That includes you. You’re an everyone. You’re an everyone like everyone else. You are equal.

The reason you hate yourself is because your brain doesn’t remember that it’s a human like other humans. It’s supposed to. You have to do that yourself.

You look down on your self worth because nobody taught you how to lift it back up. Your brain is wired to self-sabotage. You’re not what your brain tells you.

No, relapse isn’t an excuse to give up.

Yes. Giving up before trying is a symptom of avoiding anxiety triggers.

Yes, it IS possible to get better without professional help. You do not need a therapist or medication to start recovery.

The reason you have digestive problems is because the serotonin your body isn’t processing is stored mostly in your gut. The serotonin isn’t working in your brain, and it isn’t working in your gut either.

Yes. You can have a panic attack without rapid heart rate.

Staying in that fandom drama can become self harm. Learn to turn away from things that are negative. Yes, even if you poke the discourse for entertainment. It’s still negatively affecting you. Find a healthier outlet with things you love.

Yes. Acting dramatic for attention IS a sign of mental distress. It’s a call for help. If you feel like you’re being dramatic, odds are your brain feels bad that it’s reaching for help.

And yes. You’re allowed to ask for help. From the right people. (Not tumblr blogs.)

Saying “no” and hurting someone’s feelings is less grave than saying “yes” to a thousand things that trap you in a lifetime of faking.

Rejection isn’t the end. Failure is not the end.

Yes, you really will make it to 18. And then 20. And then 24. Start dreaming again.

You are not your trauma. Stop telling people like it’s the same as your eye color.

Yes, oversharing is a sign of PTSD. Just like secrecy.

Yes, putting yourself in the same stressful situations is self harm.

Yes, sending yourself hate or spreading rumors or lies about yourself is self harm.

No. Society does not think depression is romantic. They think it’s fake still.

No. Which characters or stories you like most ISN’T a giveaway about the kind of person you are. No. It really, really isn’t. The kind of real life people you like is.

No, it doesn’t help the community to “filter out the fakes.” It makes you and your peers constantly scan yourselves for fakeness to the point you make your health worse, and encourages stigmas on outsiders. Trust me. They’re not a plague. And they’re not your concern. YOU should be your ONLY concern. Not them and what’s going on in their head.

These are hard pills to swallow because that’s what this site has taught you.

Get off tumblr for a week. I beg you. Cleanse yourself of this place’s mantras as best you can.

You have no idea the damage this place can do to you.

Have you ever wanted to talk to other traumagenic systems specifically in a space based off of hello kitty and her friends? (I, personally, have)

WELL LOOK NO FURTHER

Welcome to Sanrio Systems, 
a discord server made for systems to hang out and talk while also under a cute pastel theme. This server was made to be discourse and hate free and overall chill (yet we do have a channel for discourse, roles required for entry)!

Server Info:

• No blacklist or trigger list for specific triggers (yet general trauma/triggering topics are forbidden unless in tw channel) this causes some ppl more anxiety than not.
• Self assigning roles/emoji roles
  
• Color roles
  
• Section for littles/middles
  
• Pluralkit

Server Rules:

1. NO endogenic, kin systems, or natual systems. Only traumagenic, non Dx systems are 100% allowed tho!
2. No age limit but we prefer nobody super super young or super super old. If you’re unsure, try joining and well tell you :)!
3. Don’t be rude or gross and use common sense.
4. You must provide an active social media, this is for verification. 

Thank you for reading :)! Hope to meet y'all soon ~<3

https://discord.gg/dYWrwan

me and my gf! (I’m left she’s right)

(Pls click for better quality)

[ID: Pixel art of two girls holding hands and resting their heads on each other, with sunflowers and daises above them, and bubbles next to them, with a baby blue background. The one on the left has blonde hair in pigtails and bangs, and is wearing white overalls with a yellow shirt. The one on the right has brown curly hair and pink overalls and a white shirt. The one on the left has a lesbian flag to her left, and the one on the right has a bi flag to her right. They heckin love eachother. End ID.]

cherubimy:

my favorite thing about being a weightlifting lesbian who is also 5 feet tall and looks pretty normal is being at the gym and making eye contact with huge men and casually squatting 250

Once this straight bot kept INSISTING to help me carry 4 twelve packs of cokes and I kept being like it’s ok!! while carrying 2 in each hand and not breaking a sweat and I think he died a little

Can we please fucking start getting mad about ableism like we have about sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. any other oppressed group?

We are easy to forget bc we literally live in a world that hides us away.

This needs to be a fucking group effort that includes abled people fighting.

uksare:

You know what breaks my heart? The fact that so many protectors in DID systems did downright heroic shit protecting the host as a child, but all the singlets want to see is an ol “evil split personality” stereotype.

Like… Of course I wish all of you lovely people didn’t have to be adults in like a 5 yo body just cause the outside world adults were monsters, but damn, man, I’ve seen so many protectors who bust their ass trying to keep the system together, and that deserves so much acknowledgment and praise.

dissociatingdingo:

Things Fictional Introjects are: 

• A real and valid part of having DID/OSDD.
• Dissociated parts, just like the rest of their system.
• Created by trauma, stress, overwhelming experiences, or the system’s inability to integrate new materials into existing alters/parts.
• Centered around a “substitute belief” and can be based on characters and media that you have no strong attachment to or may not even like.
• Worthy of the same care and support everyone in the system deserves.
• Capable of growth beyond their source material. 

Things Fictional Introjects are not: 

• The same thing as “kins” or “kinning” with something. 
• Createdjustby liking, identifying with, being strongly attached to, or being attracted to a character. 
• A completely different “type” of alter that should be treated differently than the rest of the system. 
• An exact copy of their source. 
• Incapable of growing beyond their source. 

[ This post is about Fictional Introjects as experienced by people with DID and OSDD. Please keep reblogs and replies relevant to DID/OSDD and dissociative experiences. ]

anxiouslykinky:

that dissociation feel when your eyes unfocus, everything goes fuzzy and every sound your hear is muffled, distorted and changing frequencies and you don’t even know if you’re real anymore

multiplicitymemes: