actually alucard (2008) is the best film adaptation of dracula & we need to stop pretending its not
im saying this as someone whos watched almost every dracula movie that follows the original story from the big name versions to obscure czechoslovakian tv movies. alucard (2008) was made with a paperclip and a piece of string and i will shove it down everyones throats until the day i die
watch the trailer and you still wont fully get an idea of how low budget this movie is. imdb estimates the budget as One Thousand Five Hundred Dollars. for comparison, birdemic had a budget of $10k. its more faithful to the book than any other version & i literally love it so much
im watching alucard (2008), and i cannot stress this enough, quincey just shot out the window
DRACULAS PENIS???
ok. i promised more details, so here are some screenshots from what is legitimately and without a doubt the most faithful-to-the-book dracula.
[ID: jonathan harker sitting on a bed in a dingy, decrepit room with a regular ass radiator in the background. he is typing on a very thick, clunky laptop that looks like it’s from the 90s.]
[ID: four people sitting at a table covered with a red tablecloth with little empty plates and glasses of water. behind them are many similar tables, all of which are unoccupied. it looks like they’re at a shitty conference reception or something.]
[ID: a yellow screen on top of a tv static background. on the yellow screen there is a news reporter and a smaller window showing something i can’t even make out. above the reporter and the small window, red text reads “nilbog tv: news flash with ash.” the entire thing is very pixely.]
[ID: van helsing and doctor seward in the foreground of a bland white room having a conversation. between them in the background is quincey morris, wearing a black coat and baggy pants stuffed into his tan cowboy boots. i’m sharing this image to highlight this outfit.]
[ID: a white paper with “nilbog” written on it in sharpie.]
[ID: a piece of graph paper on a wooden table showing a bar graph labelled “renfield’s moods.” the data is too small to read, but probably unimportant.]
[ID: five men having a toast with what looks like glasses of kool aid. they are standing in a white break room with a cabinet in the background.]
[ID: several arms in the foreground coming from behind the camera holding out crosses of varying size at dracula, who is completely ass naked. i have taken the liberty of scribbling over his hog, which absolutely was in plain view.]
[ID: arthur and quincey at sea. arthur is tucking a walkie talkie into his jacket. quincey is wearing a cowboy hat.]
[ID: a different shot of arthur and quincey at sea, showing that they are traveling in a motor raft? whatever you call it?]
it should also be noted that in the beginning jonathan was transported up to meet dracula in like. a minivan. & the end credit music is a rap about dracula. they also never say the name dracula in the movie, his name is alucard. but it 100% is definitely the most faithful adaptation out there, and you can watch it on flixfling, which you need a subscription for but i think you can get a free week? i already cant remember
i am so so serious about alucard ive watched enough film adaptations of dracula to be able to say it does the best job following the original story. like by an absolute mile, by a Lightyear it is the closest to the book. dracula fans are always going “no movie has ever done it right” Well Theres One and baby its alucard (2008) available on flixfling
I don’t think I ever wanted to cry so much for a character like Adrian Tepes from the sheer horror on his face when he saw his parents forging into one and hearing their cries, and having to watch them die again within seconds of returning like wow y'all couldn’t fucking leave him be and grieve.
