#totally correct quote
Jin Guangyao: I’m a terrible person.
Jiang Cheng:Yeah.
Jiang Cheng: honestly I think that’s why we get along so well.
Jin Guangyao: I’m not a good person.
Jiang Cheng: me neither.
Jiang Cheng: I mean I’m not going to punch people on the face without a reason
Jiang Cheng: but I won’t go out of my way to make them feel good either.
Jin Guangyao: I get that.
Jiang Cheng: You have a visit.
Jin Guangyao: who is it?
Jiang Cheng: Your husband.
Jin Guangyao: I don’t have a husband, call the police.
Xue Yang: Your future husband~
Jin Guangyao: I’ll call the police.
Jin Guangyao: *making a crossword* Two words for disappointment.
Jiang Cheng: Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian:Hey!
Jin Guangyao: It fits…
Jin Guangyao: Fitness tip, never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours sleep is enough, why not 9? Why not 12? Strive for greatness.
Jiang Cheng: next time you are working out, do 15 push up instead of 10. Run ten miles instead of five, eat a whole cake instead of just a slice, burn your ex house down. You can do it, I believe in you.
Lan Xichen: there were so many mixed messages there, that I can't—
Wei Wuxian: My head hurts.
Jiang Cheng: that’s your brain trying to comprehend it’s own stupidity.
Wei Wuxian: why do you always have to attack me with words?!
Jiang Cheng: would you rather that I used rocks instead?
Jin Guangyao: Sect leader Jiang No—
Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng! Jin Ling is missing!
Jiang Cheng: what am I supposed to do about it? Do you think that me and Sect leader Jin arranged to microchip him in case he got lost or something?
Wei Wuxian: well, did you?
Jiang Cheng:
Jiang Cheng: of course I did.
Jiang Cheng: here wait a second, Jin Guangyao has the tracking thing.
Jin Guangyao: *after sleeping with Wen Ruohan to gain his trust* and remember if you sleep with an older man.
Wei Wuxian: *on Mo Xuanyu body* it’s not called having daddy issues.
Jin Guangyao: it’s called caring for the elder.
Lan Xichen: A-Yao wait! This isn’t you! You have gone mad with power!
Jin Guangyao: well of course.
Jin Guangyao: have you ever tried going mad without power?
Jin Guangyao: it’s boring.
Jin Guangyao: violence it’s never the answer.
Jiang Cheng: you are right.
Jiang Cheng: it’s a question.
Jiang Cheng: and the answer is yes.
*Playing house with Jin Ling*
Jin Guangyao: *holding a doll* I was thinking about going back to school and start a career!
Jiang Cheng: *holding a teddy bear* nonsense, you are staying at home and having my kids.
Nie Mingjue: What the fuck are you guys doing?
Jiang Cheng: playing systematic oppression.
Jin Guangyao: in your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Jiang Cheng: *turning to Wei Wuxian* how tall are you?
Wei Wuxian: I wasn’t so drunk last night!
Jiang Cheng: You tried to flirt with Lan Wangji.
Wei Wuxian: What about it? He is my husband!
Jin Guangyao: you asked him if he was single
Nie Huisang: and you cried when he told you he wasn’t.
Ling Wen: *showing the capital to a new God* and now I’ll show you what type of people work here.
Ling Wen: the floor is lava!
Mu Qing: *shoves Feng Xin off a table*
Xie Lian: *helps Pei Ming get on top of a table*
Ling Wen: as you can see there are two type of people
Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng isn’t answering his phone.
Jin Guangyao: I’ll call him.
Wei Wuxian: Lan Zhan and I have both tried to call him for an hour, what makes you think tha—
Jiang Cheng: *through the phone* Hello?
Jin Guangyao: you need a hobby.
Lan Zhan: I have one.
Jin Guangyao: Stalking Wei Wuxian it’s not a hobby.
Lan Zhan:En.
Lan Zhan: It’s a profession and I’m excellent at it.
Nie Huisang: I never know what to say in funerals.
Meng Yao: Just say “sorry for your loss” and move on.
Nie Huisang: *to the widow* I’m sorry for your loss. move on.
Jin Ling: Don’t kill me I have uncle’s.
Murder: do you really think that would stop me from killing you?
Jin Ling: That wasn’t a plea for mercy, it was a warning.
Murder: Wait what—
Jiang Cheng: *breaking the door with a kick*
Jin Guangyao: are you ready to die?
Nie Mingjue: Are you mad at me?
Meng Yao: of course not.
Nie Mingjue: then sharpening your knives at three A.M it’s just a hobby?
Wei Wuxian: Love is on the air.
Jin Guangyao: Sect leader Jiang—
Jin Guangyao: Jiang Cheng breath! You are turning blue!
Jiang Cheng: Our positives affirmation of the day.
Jiang Cheng: if live is a bitch, I’ll ride it.
Jin Guangyao: if God is dead, I killed him.
Jiang Cheng/Jin Guangyao: If we are to die… It would look fucking RAD.
Wei Wuxian: I never know if I should use farther or further.
Jin Guangyao: farther is for physical distance and further for metaphorical distance.
Jiāng Cheng: and “father” is for emotional distance.
Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng no—
Jin Guangyao: no,no, he got a point.
