Let’s end ASAW with a new survey I have been working on. I’ve decided to have a survey on one aspect of aromantic identity that I haven’t seen discussed, which is preferences towards sexual relationships.
Who this survey is aimed at: any aromantic above the age of 18 can participate, but I am particularly interested in aros who experience sexual attraction or sexual desires, aros who have previous experiences with sexual relationships, and aros who are curious about sex in general. This includes sex favorable aroaces, but also aro who tried sex and decided it was not for them, or sex repulsed aroallos. You can participate if you have no sexual experience.
What this will ask you: general demographic questions, whether you have previous sexual experiences (prefer not to say is an allowed option), what relationship dynamics do you or would you prefer to have with a sexual partner (committed or not, qprs, fwb, etc.), and a few personal opinions on how aromanticism relates to sexuality.
What this will NOT ask you: any details about preferred sexual positions, acts or kinks, any details about your sexual fantasies, any information about your sexual partners, or any identifying personal information.
The survey does not accept participants under the age of 18. I ask anyone below that age (or below the age of adulthood in your country) not to participate, although you may of course share the link to the survey with others if you want.
Aromantic allosexual (shortened to aroallooralloaro) describes people who are aromantic or aro-spec and also allosexual. They experience sexual attraction but do not experience romantic attraction (or experience limited romantic attraction). The term and flag were created because it’s often assumed that all aromantic people are also asexual.
shoutout to my fellow aroallos tbh. shoutout to cishet aroallos who keep hearing theyre not queer enough (you are), shoutout to hypersexual aroallos, shoutout to aroallos who dont want to have sex, shoutout to aroallos in fwb situations and aroallos in qprs and aroallos in romantic relationships and shoutout to aroallos who like one night stands, shoutout to loveless aroallos, shoutout to gay aroallos, to lesbian aroallos, to mspec aroallos, shoutout to aroallos who like to walk around in little clothing and shoutout to aroallos who dont, shoutout to religious aroallos, shoutout to aroallos who still havent completely come to terms with their aroallo identity (its okay to struggle with identities like these) and shoutout to aroallos who are open about their identity and shoutout to aroallos who arent either, shoutout to aroallo trans folk, shoutout to aroallo men and aroallo women and nonbinary aroallos and all other aroallos and shoutout to aroallo poc
Very out of context story I still decided to draw, because I’ve been thinking a lot about Pierce and by extension Pierce & Hotshot :V Pierce just trying to talk about his aro feelings without knowing about aromanticism.
I was hoping to finish this back in aro week, but then a lot of stuff happened ^^’
Welp, this was for Valentines, but now it’s Aro-Spec Awareness Week, so that works too lol
I still have another thing I’m hoping to finish for ASAW that’s bigger.
Anyways, Pierce here is having a rough time with people in his village assuming he is in a romantic relationship with ranger partner and best friend, Hotshot. But he doesn’t feel he can speak up about it.
You can go check out my blog for more info! I made many posts last year, and will probably do the same this year.
Image ID under the cut
[Image ID: Five digitally drawn pictures. They all have a green gradient background that fade into each other.
Image 1: A simple cartoon character with short brown hair, white skin and green cheeks. They’re dressed in the colors of the aro flag (green, light green, white, grey, black). They’re gesturing towards a central text in capital handrawn white letter that reads “It’s time for Aro-Spec Awareness Week 2022”. Another text typed in black says “From Feb 20th Until Feb 26th”. Two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 2: The text is divided into three blocks and reads: “What does aro-spec mean ? It’s short for "aromantic spectrum”. Arospec people don’t experience romantic attraction, or experience it differently.“ aromantic spectrum is written in green, romantic attraction is written in a dark red, and the rest is black. The same character previously described is standing on the right of the text as if they were saying the words. They’re drawn a second time underneath the text, holding a green umbrella while saying "It’s an umbrella term!”. The same two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 3: The text reads: “However, arospec and acepec are two different experiences. Not every aro is ace, not every ace is aro. That distinction between romantic and sexual attraction is based on the SAM! (Split Attraction Model)”. The words are typed in black except for the word aro which is green, and the word ace which is purple. A handwritten note on the side reads: “It can be used by anyone too!”. The character is at the bottom of the screen and says in parenthesis: “Tho there are non SAM aro out there”. The same two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 4: The image is filled with text with the exception of the character’s head poking out of the bottom. It says in a handwritten white text: “Transcript at the end”. At the top of the image is written “Some Vocabulary for the road:”. Underneath is a list of terms in bold capital letters and their definition. “Allo: Being non-aro (alloromantic) or non-ace (allosexual)” ; “Amatonormativity: The assumption that everyone must want a lifelong monogamous romantic and sexual relationship.” ; “Romance Repulsed/Favorable: How someone feels about romance! Some aro do like romance, others want nothing to do with it, and some are neutral.” ; “QPR: Queer Platonic Relationship! An unique kind of commitment, determined by the people in it.”
Image 5: The character is sitting on the decorative arrows at the bottom of the panel. White text above and next to them read: “This has been a brief introduction! There’s a lot more to learn… so follow ASAW and be aware of your local aros! Thanks for reading!”
Hi everyone! I was interested in collecting some statistics about the allo aro community and finding out a bit more about us, so I’ve made a survey! Anyone who identifies as allo aro can participate, please share it with people you think might be interested :)
Results and discussion will be posted on this blog sometime in the future.
@alloaroworlds, if you could share this I would be grateful for the signal boost :)
As promised, you can read our article on Allosexual Aros here: https://taaap.org/2022/02/26/asaw-22-allo-aros/ . Thanks again to all who contributed!
A big part of why we do our Aspec Voices series is due to the frustration a lot of us at TAAAP know from being a rarely-recognized demographic in the aspec community. While allo aros have gained a lot of visibility in the last couple of years, there is still a long way to go, especially as many people outside of the community continue to conflate aromanticism with asexuality.
[ID: “Aromanticism isn’t a subset of asexuality. It’s an independent, parallel spectrum. It doesn’t go under any other identity umbrella; it is one. And it’s one of the basic fucking orientation terms and pride flags. Stop leaving us out. “ - Chad. “I often feel very underrepresented. I even questioned if I was asexual because I never saw any alloaros. People tend to assume that if you are aromantic then you are automatically asexual too.” - Ghost.
“Desiring sex and not romance does not make someone predatory. Romance isn’t inherently good or pure, and sex isn’t inherently evil or dirty. Putting sex and romance on an equal, neutral level and either destigmatizing or deromantasizing them respectively, is the only way to truly support alloaros and confront negative biases.” - Magpie. “I sometimes feel I’m not “aro enough” for experiencing sexual attraction and desiring sex. Since society conflates romantic love with sexual desire/lust, it’s sometimes hard for me to feel that my attraction is just as valid.” - Charis.
[ID: The first panel shows a little baby, labelled “Alloromantics learning aromanticism exists and is not a subset of asexuality,” in front of a chessboard and throwing its hands up in the air with pride. The second panel zooms out to show a huge buff robot whose head is a computer (totally filled with ancient wisdom), labelled “Aromantic allosexuals,” reaching down to pat the baby on the head. End ID.]
With prevalent sex negativity and essentialist ideas of orientation & sexuality, aros often face invalidation and stigma for their sex drives and/or sexual behaviour. Check out these aro perspectives on sex: https://taaap.org/2022/02/25/asaw-22-sex-favorable-aros/ and https://taaap.org/2022/02/26/asaw-22-allo-aros/
[ID: Captioned “people: what if people use you for sex and you never have a romantic relationship,” depicts Skeletor from Masters of the Universe pointing and laughing, labelled “me, an aromantic: joke’s on you, I’m into that shit.” End ID.]
[ID: The meme depicts “aromanticism,” written in the aro pride colours, stereotype vs. reality. The pic labelled “Stereotype” is in greyscale, showing a miserable person holding their head in their hands and going “I’ll never fall in love…” The pic labelled “Reality” is in vibrant colour, with a cool shark in the background, and shows a joyful smiling person wearing sunglasses, giving a thumbs-up, and going “I’ll never fall in love!” End ID.]
[ID: The “is this a pigeon” meme. "Alloros" points at “romance” and asks, is this… -personal growth? -a redemption arc? -character development? -mental health recovery? -the meaning of life? -a solution to my problems? -the foundation of my self worth? -my only conversation topic? -a happy ending? -an interesting plotline? End ID.]
[ID: A cartoon goose akin to the one from Untitled Goose Game holding an aromantic flag in its beak running away from amatonormativity in the form of several police cars labelled “when will you finally get married?”; The One™, “just give love a chance”; soulmate AUs; “something more”; “you’ll change your mind eventually”; and romance subplots. End ID.]
[ID: Fred from Scooby Doo unmasks a villain, “the trope of romance supposedly magically turning someone into a good/better person." Fred says "Okay gang, let’s see who this really is” and pulls off the mask to reveal “the arophobic idea that not being in love makes someone a bad/worse person.” End ID.]
[ID: How to apply clown makeup in four steps. The first is white face paint, “I ask my aromantic child how their love life is going.” Next is the eye, cheek, and lip makeup, “I pressure them to answer me when they don’t have an answer.” Then the clown wig, “I tell them their singleness is wrong and prioritize my want for grandchildren over my child’s happiness.” In the final step, they put on their clown nose and say “I’m such a great parent,” and the transformation into a clown is complete. End ID.]
The joke of amatonormativity is on all of us, and it’s never been funny. Here’s a brief primer on how and why, the interaction with racism & other forms of marginalisation, and Why Your Sex Positivity Needs to be Anti-Amatonormative: https://taaap.org/2022/02/21/sexposcon-poster-amatonormativity/
[ID: Three versions of the silent protector meme, saying “alloros think it be like either one of these” over the first two. In 1, “romance” protects “alloros” from “all problems in life” & in 2, “being aromantic” protects “aros” from “all problems in life.” The third is captioned “when it’s actually like this” and photoshopped so the silent protector, “aros,” is no longer in front of the happily sleeping child, “alloros,” and both are being pelted by “amatonormativity”. End ID.]
Keladry of Mindelan from Protector of the Small is aro bi!
(Note: I know nothing about this series and, based on my research into it, Kel is the main character so I assumed the cover art would be of her? Let me know if that’s incorrect!)
