Yo, for the start of ASAW tomorrow (2/15/22) I’m going to be streaming the demo for I Just Want to be Single, the upcoming indie anti-dating sim. I’ll be streaming it on my Twitch at 7 EST, if anyone wants to watch: https://www.twitch.tv/aurora_valentina
Asexual Aros Allosexual Aros Trans Aros Nonbinary Aros Lesbian Aros Gay Aros Bisexual Aros Pansexual Aros Autistic Aros Disabled Aros Aros of Color Closeted Aros Out and Proud Aros Romance-Repulsed Aros Romance-Indifferent Aros Romance-Favorable Aros Younger Aros Older Aros Christian Aros Muslim Aros Jewish Aros Aros of All Faiths Aros across the Ace-Spectrum Aros Across the Aro-Spectrum
We are continuing our Aspec Voices series this ASAW, and starting it off with perspectives from aros of color. See the images for some highlighted quotes, and read the full article here: https://taaap.org/2022/02/20/asaw-22-bipoc-aros/
Thank you to all who contributed! Description below.
[ID: “It’s pretty lonely. I don’t particularly enjoy interacting with white queers at this point because white people in general suck at being sensitive about racial topics, and there is a big racism issue in general within the overarching community.” - Kione. “I wish aro people knew that BIPOC aros, such as myself, should also be given a space in the community and to take our race into consideration, because not only do we face discrimination for our romantic orientation, but also for the color of our skin.” - Ally Ravago. “I wish other aros knew that we exist, but we’re often unseen because of language barriers. That we come from cultures that may be amatonormative in different ways.” - Jules.
“Stop assuming that everyone in the community, or the majority of it, is white. Stop assuming that everyone who engages with our large English-speaking community is from English-speaking countries. Stop universalising western hegemony. We’ve always fucking been here. Aromanticism isn’t some white trend. Open your eyes and ears, and stop being racist. Include us by default, not as an afterthought or for self-congratulation or window dressing. Quit platforming racists and making excuses for racism in the community.” - 鬼. “I think the predominantly Global North aro communities could give more voices to aro folks that live in the Global South. Our experiences are not only affected by amatonormativity, but also especially queerphobia.” - Charis. End ID.]
[Image description: A light green graphic decorated with lime green six-point stars. The upper left-hand corner has clip art of a tan hand holding an aromantic pride flag. In the lower right-hand corner, there is a vertical aromantic flag. At the bottom of the graphic are the AUREA and ASAW website logos. In the center, there is text that reads “Feb 20th -26th, Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! We are proud to promote the acceptance and inclusion of aromantic identities! Learn more about ASAW at arospecweek.org]
[Image Description: A white rectangle with curved corners overlaid on a graphic of an aromatic flag with wavy lines demarking each color of the flag. On the upper left corner of the rectangle, there is a large quotation mark. On the lower right of the rectangle, there is the AUREA logo. In the middle of the rectangle, there is text that says “Feb 26, 2pm (ET). Fundraiser Livestream, ASAW 2022. https://youtu.be/tT1GDtwfpvw. Featured guests: TeseThePoet, AUREA Team Q&A, Derelict.Specter"]
is it just me or is it super hard to accept and come to terms with aromanticism? like im aware that im aro, but there’s so many doubts and it was way easier for me to accept im ace
happy aromatic awareness week everyone!! this community is my favorite ever <33
valentines day was rough this year, my best friend, who i happen to love queerplatonically, left my school and now i won’t see him as much and i was just so alone and sad on feb 14, but then i had a bit of an aro reawakening (im aroflux) and im just so grateful for you all for making me feel like i have somewhere where i belong. hope everyone has a great week!!
TL;DR: The word greyromantic exists, and we should use it more.
There’s been a post going around talking about some aro terms that were lost over the course of the past few years during the latest iteration of online hate directed at ace and aro folks. Some of them *cough*zucchini*cough* I think may have disappeared because aros themselves didn’t like them and they naturally fell out of use, but otherwise I do think there is some truth to the idea that they disappeared because we were more focused on combating hate than building community.
I was very active in the aro community online in the year before the discourse started. Somewhere along the way I became less active. I got involved in my local ace community, graduated college, and started working during that time I was inactive. I also had and have a healthy relationship with the block button on tumblr, so I don’t think it was really the discourse that caused my inactivity, but perhaps the lack of other content to interact with was a part of it as well.
Anyway. The word greyromantic (with its many many alternate spellings — this is just my favorite) was used a lot back then. When we wanted to abbreviate it became “greyro” or the appropriate alternate spelling. As the aro community has come back to life, however, I hardly ever see it being used. In fact, I have been seeing people use the word “arospec” instead to mean the exact same thing, which I think is really tragic. Those two words aren’t synonyms. Hear me out:
Back in the day (four years ago), greyromantic was used as an umbrella word for anyone who didn’t fit the strict definition of aromantic but still felt close to it — so most microlabels would fit under it. Greyromantic was also a specific identity, either for people who just experienced attraction rarely, or for people who wanted to embrace the ambiguity of their identity rather than find a specific label.
In this post, I am talking less about the specific identity, and more about the umbrella usage. Recently, I have noticed that people are using the word arospec to refer to the greyromantic umbrella. As in, using arospec in a way that implied aromantic people aren’t arospec. I don’t know how long it’s been happening but I noticed it for the first time this week and now I have been seeing it everywhere.
The phrase “aromantic spectrum” has always been a unifying term. It’s for everybody, aromantic and greyromantic alike. Yes, it is specifically inclusive of greyros, but it is also inclusive of aromantic folks who experience absolutely no romantic attraction. If you have any doubts, that’s why Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week was named that, because it covers all of us.
Arospec is the word that unites our community. If we keep using to fill greyro’s void, then it will start to divide us, and I don’t want that to happen.
So let’s bring greyromantic back!
Edit: I want to add that using arospec as a self-identifier is not what I am talking about here. That can totally be used in a very similar way to the way greyromantic can be used in a vague way as a self-identifier. Like, “I know I am on the aromantic spectrum, but don’t feel like specifying where. I could be aromantic, I could be demiromantic, but I don’t feel like exploring that or disclosing that to others.” They are very similar and nearly interchangeable as a self identifier, though I think arospec can take it a step further towards “I could never experience romantic attraction, I’m just not positive that I don’t.”
Edit 1/28/20: It has come to my attention that people have been sending this post to people as a way of telling them that they can’t identify as aro. This post is NEVER to be used in that fashion. Grayromantic people are aro. People are only grayromantic if they identify that way. Stop policing people’s labels.
here’s my late comic for the 18th: “What do you wish people knew about being arospec? Make or design a sign with an arrow + a message.” I still don’t really know what kind of partnership I want, if any, but I’m just going with the flow and enjoying the lovely people in my life
(Image description: a light green background with black text, large text in the center says “Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week” with smaller text above that says “February 21st - 27th” and below that says “Celebrating aromantic spectrum identities”; in the lower left corner is an illustration of a brown-skinned hand holding an aromantic pride flag.)
Something a bit more heavy, about amatonormativity…
Image transcription:
Image 1: Amatonormativity (The assumption that everyone needs to be in a lifelong monogamous romantic (and sexual) relationship, and the social expectations and pressure to live up to it) Fucking SUCKS!!
(for literally everyone — so let’s all kill that fucker) said by cartoons (one has a knife and is ready to kill)
and here’s some of my experience with it:
Image 2: Children….
(annoyed cartoon character talking to small shadow)
- Do you have a girlfriend?
- No.
- Then do you have any crushes?
- No.
- What? I don’t believe you. You’re lying.
- Why would I??
Image 3: Adults….
(uneasy cartoon character talking to tall shadow)
- So have you found someone yet?
- No, I’m not looking either.
- Don’t worry, you still have time.
- I’m not worried, I’m fine like that.
- You’ll see in a couple years.
Image 4: ….or even myself…
(cartoon character is overwhelmed by various amatonormative thoughts and is in distress)
Image 5:
(cartoon character is sitting in the middle, making a peace sign)
I wish I could say something uplifting and inspirational on how to fight it…
But I’m still figuring that part out for myself…
Just don’t act like being single is the worst thing you could imagine
You can go check out my blog for more info! I made many posts last year, and will probably do the same this year.
Image ID under the cut
[Image ID: Five digitally drawn pictures. They all have a green gradient background that fade into each other.
Image 1: A simple cartoon character with short brown hair, white skin and green cheeks. They’re dressed in the colors of the aro flag (green, light green, white, grey, black). They’re gesturing towards a central text in capital handrawn white letter that reads “It’s time for Aro-Spec Awareness Week 2022”. Another text typed in black says “From Feb 20th Until Feb 26th”. Two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 2: The text is divided into three blocks and reads: “What does aro-spec mean ? It’s short for "aromantic spectrum”. Arospec people don’t experience romantic attraction, or experience it differently.“ aromantic spectrum is written in green, romantic attraction is written in a dark red, and the rest is black. The same character previously described is standing on the right of the text as if they were saying the words. They’re drawn a second time underneath the text, holding a green umbrella while saying "It’s an umbrella term!”. The same two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 3: The text reads: “However, arospec and acepec are two different experiences. Not every aro is ace, not every ace is aro. That distinction between romantic and sexual attraction is based on the SAM! (Split Attraction Model)”. The words are typed in black except for the word aro which is green, and the word ace which is purple. A handwritten note on the side reads: “It can be used by anyone too!”. The character is at the bottom of the screen and says in parenthesis: “Tho there are non SAM aro out there”. The same two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 4: The image is filled with text with the exception of the character’s head poking out of the bottom. It says in a handwritten white text: “Transcript at the end”. At the top of the image is written “Some Vocabulary for the road:”. Underneath is a list of terms in bold capital letters and their definition. “Allo: Being non-aro (alloromantic) or non-ace (allosexual)” ; “Amatonormativity: The assumption that everyone must want a lifelong monogamous romantic and sexual relationship.” ; “Romance Repulsed/Favorable: How someone feels about romance! Some aro do like romance, others want nothing to do with it, and some are neutral.” ; “QPR: Queer Platonic Relationship! An unique kind of commitment, determined by the people in it.”
Image 5: The character is sitting on the decorative arrows at the bottom of the panel. White text above and next to them read: “This has been a brief introduction! There’s a lot more to learn… so follow ASAW and be aware of your local aros! Thanks for reading!”
In 2021, there were a total of 6 states and cities that recognized Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. While government recognition is not required for any community or their events, it helps to lay the groundwork for inclusive policy, and brings greater awareness to the public of the identity and community.
[ID: Two infographics with the heading “ASAW Official Recognition”. The first one reads “Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is coming up on February 20 - February 26, 2022! Official government recognition of ASAW can do several things: Raise awareness of aromantic identities among the public. Provide a building block to request future legislation cover aromantic people. Make aromantic people feel seen and accepted in their home!”
The second reads “If you want to apply for official recognition from your local government, just follow these simple steps: 1. Have an address in the relevant location. 2. Check the deadline for proclamation requests. 3. Contact any organization you would like to sponsor the proclamation. 4. Copy and paste our template into the request form. 5. Wait for a response, and follow up!” End ID.]
I just realized it was aro awareness week so i whipped up a thing :3
Shoutout to my fellow aromantics out there!! ✌
Image description:
“Happy Aro Awareness Week!!!” in aro flag colours
Person with grey hair and a big smile, wearing glasses, a black jumper with a planet in aro flag colours, green trousers, and socks with stripes in aro flag colours, holding up a big aro flag.
February’s WritingTipWed! Every Wednesday I post a writing tip on my Twitter! If you want to see these weekly, follow me @/EmilyLaJaunie.
～✦～✦～✦～✦～✦～✦～✦～✦～✦～✦～
#WritingTipWed 29 - While it can be frustrating, it’s perfectly normal to keep rewriting your story before it becomes the first draft. Major world/character changes are often the cause and this will inevitably make your story better in the end.
#WritingTipWed 30 - When writing about love, try not to prioritize romantic love over platonic love. Don’t fall into the tired trap that friendship is below/lesser than romantic relationships.
#WritingTipWed 31 - Authors should support authors, but we don’t always know the best way, especially for minorities. It’s #BlackHistoryMonth, so here is an article to explain 10 Ways to Support Black Authors.
#WritingTipWed 32 - It’s#AromanticSpectrumAwarenessWeek! The aro character I want is the one whose partner is also fine with not making anything a “date”, not doing generic romantic gestures, and needing alone time. Add what you want to see!
I made a aromantic/arospec icon and banners that are free to use and I would love for you to @ me if you use them!
I also posted some Aromantic Arrow Stickers on my etsy shop!
And always remember that it’s okay if you’re not comfortable with displaying your pride flag or just don’t want to. All that matters is that you have pride in who you are and you remember to love yourself, and that you are loved.
This has been an amazing Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week 2021
I will continue to spread awareness and positivity about aros as part of my blog so stay tuned!
[ID: Six images each comprised of overlayed, semi-transparent rectangles and lines to create a square and diamond multi-colored pattern. Last image is six arrows arranged in two columns. All arrows have six rectangle feathers at one end. The first arrow on each column in diagnoal with a banner wrapped around it, the top and bottom of the banner fanning out. The words “Aro” and “Adored” on the top and bottom banner respectively. The second arrow, instead of a straight stick, has a heartbeat pattern (the line fluctuates up and down growing larger toward the middle) with an heart in the middle. The third arrow is a straight lined arrow with a hollow heart in the middle. The fourth is the same except there is a gap between the top left side of the heart and the stick, and a gap between the bottom right of the heart and the stick. All these are on a semi-transparent constellation and ghost background. End description.]
[ID: A infographic with arrows pointing to rounded corner blocks that have the name and definition of a aromantic spectrum label based on factors and yes/no questions. From the title block “What is my aromantic label?” four arrows point to four blocks, two on each side. First block on the left is “Alicoromantic: I know I’m somewhere on the Aro-spec but no Aro-spec label fits or I don’t know which Aro-spec fits me best”. Second block, below first, is “Aroallo: I am aro or aro-spec and also allosexual (not asexual)”. On the right the first block is “Greyromantic: I relate with aromanticism, yet feel there are parts of my experience that aren’t fully described by the word aromantic”. Second block, below first, is “Quoiromantic: I challenge or reject romantic orientation as not personally useful, don’t know my romantic orientation, or don’t want to define my orientation”.
From the title block an arrow points upward to “Am I repulsed by/aversed to romance?”. “Kinda” points upward to “Acoromantic: I want to act on my romantic attraction but I have a strong aversion to do so because of apprehension or bad experiences with romantic relationships or activities”. “Yes” points to the right, then up, then right again to two blocks, with “or” in between them (all multiple blocks have “or” between them). First block is “Apothiromantic: I am romance repulsed, either for myself or in general. I don’t seek out romantic relationships and dislike romantically coded acts like kissing or cuddling”. Above it, second block is “Omniaromantic: I do not feel romantic attraction under any circumstances, I am not interested in engaging in romantic activities or relationships, and I don’t wish to talk about romance or romantic activities”. “No” points to the left to “Do I desire romantic relationships?”. “Yes” points up to “Cupioromantic: I do not experience romantic attraction but I still desire a romantic relationship. I may also sometimes feel romantic attraction but want a relationship even without that attraction”. “No” points to the left, then up, then to the right, and then down to two blocks. First block is “Aegoromantic: I enjoy the concept of romance but have a disconnect between myself and romance. I enjoy romance in media, but don’t desire a relationship. My romantic fantasies may be viewed from a third-person perspective where I’m just a disembodied observer”. Second block is “Bellusromantic: I am interested in traditionally romantic activities, like kissing/cuddling, but not in the context of a romantic relationship. I don’t feel romantic attraction and don’t want a romantic relationship”.
From the title block an arrow points downward to “Dependent romantic attraction” which an arrow then points to the right to “Aliquaromantic: I only experience romantic attraction under certain circumstances. This can be considered an umbrella term”. Arrow points down to “Is my attraction dependent on other’s feelings?” and “Yes” points downward to three blocks. First block is “Apresromantic: I experience romantic attraction only after another attraction is felt, such as platonic, aesthetic, sensual, and/or sexual attraction”. Second block is “Demiromantic: I don’t experience romantic attraction until I have formed a deep emotional connection (platonic, sexual, or other) with someone”. Third block is “Frayromantic: I only experience romantic attraction towards those that I am not deeply connected with, and I lose that attraction as I get to know the person”. “No” points to left and then down to three blocks. First block is “Lithromantic: I may experience romantic attraction but I do not want it reciprocated, and I am uncomfortable at the thought of someone being romantically attracted to me”. Second block is “Proculromantic: I only feel romantic attraction to those who I can never be in a relationship with, such as fictional characters, or celebrities”. Third block is “Recipromantic: I do not experience romantic attraction unless I know that the other person is romantically attracted to me first”. From title block an arrow points down and then left to “Fluctuating aromanticism” and another arrow points to three blocks below it. First block is “Aroflux: My romantic orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the aromantic spectrum. I may feel very strongly aromantic one day and less aromantic another day”. Second block is “Aro-jump: I am normally alloromantic, but I experience sudden and intense brief spikes of aromanticism before returning just as suddenly to my normal alloromanticism”. Third block is “Arospike: I experience rare and sudden spikes of romantic attraction for a varied amount of time (one day to months) before returning to my normal level of aromanticism”.
In the middle of the infographic at the top there is a block titled “Neurodivergent”. Arrow points up to “Arovague: My orientation is partially or fully influenced by my neurodivergency”. From main block arrow points right, then up, and then right again to “Nebularomantic: I can’t distinguish the difference between romantic and platonic attraction”. “Neurotypical?” points downward to “Platoniromantic”. From main block arrow points down to “Requisromantic: I have limited or no romantic attraction, interest, or activity due to emotional exhaustion from romantic experiences, dealing with romance, or from something else that is emotionally draining”. End description.]
[ID: Three horizontal arrows in a stacked formation with a phrase coming up from the top of each arrow. 1st phrase: Aros are awesome. 2nd phrase: Aros are adored. 3rd phrase: Aros are amazing. End description.]
1. You just haven’t fallen in love yet. This is a dismissive/invalidating statement. just like allos can want to date after seeing people dating in media/real life, aros can know they don’t feel romantic attraction/want to date.
2. You’ll find the right one eventually. This a dismissive/invalidating statement. you are equating an aro’s lack of romantic attraction/desire to find a partner to them not meeting “the one” yet. There is no such thing as “the one”; no one is made for another person. Aromanticism is not something to be “cured” by a “special someone”. It is an orientation that doesn’t need to be fixed.
3. You’ll change your mind. This a dismissive/invalidating statement. While it is perfectly normal for an aro’s aromanticism to fluctuate, it is not for you to decide/assume that it will and it is certainly not up to you to decide that an aro will stop being aro after XYZ. Aromanticism is not a phase. End Description.]
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting a romantic partner. Having a life partner isn’t required to be happy or to have a fulfilling life. What other’s assume will make you happy may only make you miserable. Do what makes you happy and comfortable.
Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week 2021
Each day I’ll be posting something to spread awareness and positivity about aros!
[ID: There is a vertical two-headed arrow splitting the image into two sections. Both sections have a title with three statements underneath it; statements are separated by a small heart in the middle. The smaller section on the left is titled “Broken”. First statement is “A romantic relationship is the ultimate life goal”. Second is “You can’t be happy without a partner.” Third is “Assuming all attraction is romantic/sexual.” The larger right section is titled “Not Broken”. First statement is “Being happy with yourself is the ultimate life goal.” Second is “Being happy being single/with your friends.” Third is “Aesthetic, Platonic, Alterous and Sensual Attraction exist.” End Description.]
[ID: Text at the top reads: In the Aromantic Spectrum the attitude towards romance varies from person to person. There is a two-headed arrow with a heart on either end and in the middle below the top text. A line descends from each heart to just above the text below it. Text on the left reads: Romance-repulsed; romance or romantic activities are disgusting, revolting, or otherwise uncomfortable for themselves and/or in general. Text in the middle reads: Romance-neutral; no strong feelings about romance one way or another for themselves and/or in general. Text on the right reads: Romance-positive; enjoys romance and romantic activities for themselves and/or in general. End description.]
[ID: In the first panel, a person holds a pill jar labelled “Hard to swallow pills”. In the second panel, their hand holds three pills, labelled “supporting aros is about more than arguing with arophobes”. End ID]
[ID: The epic handshake meme. A person on the left, labelled “aros that feel love”, grabs the hand of a person on the right, labelled “aros that don’t feel love”. Their hands are labelled “being amazing”. End ID]
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