#batfamily
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PRODUCTION UPDATE
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IT GLOWS!
PRODUCTION UPDATE
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This is 100% an exchange that happened with Bruce Wayne.
changing the killing joke storyline because it’s sexist is absurd, women are subjected to violence that men are just not and changing that within comics because it gets backlash is lazy im sorry
adding this to the list of wips lol
Title:Night at the (National History) Museum
Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/27235228
Type:Fanfic
Status:Complete.Chapter: 1/1.
Fandom:DC/Batman
Rating: T
Warnings: Crude language (cursewords, including the c word).
Beta:No beta we die like Jason Todd
Pairings:None.
Word Count: 7k+
Genre:Humour/Comedy
Characters:Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne.
Summary:Tim finds himself having, once again, been dragged into the social event of the season. As he slowly dies of boredom and the physical exertion of not rolling his eyes, he bumps into hisfellow prisonersbrothers and they decide to do something about Bruce’s tendency to trick them into going to these things.
Excerpt:“We could call in a bomb threat?”
“That’s imaginative.”
“Ok, then we get paintball guns and go to town.”
“Also unhelpful.”
“No, wait! That’s actually a good idea!”
“Really Dick? You don’t think people are going to ask questions if the Waynes start literally hunting socialites for sport?”
Tonight’s Guest Speaker (part 1): Bruce Wayne
Bruce:hello…
Bruce: [squints at his cue cards]
Bruce: members of the…
Bruce: [squints harder and holds the cards further from himself]
Bruce:agricultural…
Bruce:
Bruce:
Bruce: Hellness… sobriety…
Dick: [loudly from the back of the room] Just admit you need glasses!
Bruce: [angry squinting] I’m honoured to receive your award for… outlandish archiving… in the field of…
Bruce:
Bruce: [entirely without conviction] suspenseful flamingos.
Lex Luthor: I don’t do business with Gotham criminals
Black Mask: why not?
Lex Luthor: you regularly have your operations shut down by a 10-year old. And one without superpowers at that. I can’t have that level of incompetence in my organisation.
Black Mask:
Black Mask: I feel like you’ve never met this particular 10-year old.
Batman: [arms crossed] explain yourself
Robin (Dick Grayson): first off, that switch had a faulty label and there was no way for me to know that flipping it would-
-time skip-
Robin (Jason Todd): -make the vat of hollandaise sauce explode, I mean who even puts a-
-time skip-
Robin (Tim Drake): -mutant jellyfish in a shopping mall?! I had to do something. So maybe I stole a truck to transport the baking soda but-
-time skip-
Robin (Stephanie Brown): -what did you want me to do? Sit back and watch you get your legs chewed off by an alien life form? And before you say anything I know that it was just Mrs Sands’ Schnauzer but at the time I really thought-
-time skip-
Robin (Damian Wayne): -that the waitress was sent to poison you. My actions were justified.
-
Signal: how come Cass never took up the Robin mantle?
Batman: [without hesitation] she’s not annoying enough to be Robin