#incorrect batfamily quotes

crazyw3irdo:

part three of the dickwing saga- the allegations (inspired by anon)

Therapist: Would you say you’re independent?

Dick: *looks at Kori*

Kori:*nods*

Dick: I’d say so, yes.

awkwardbluefish:

Sibling troubles •{44}•

Duke: How long does it take until you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?

Dick: I think-

Tim: Seventy two hours without sleep.

Dick: ….How do you-?

Tim: *staring into empty space over his coffee cup* There’s a clown behind you.

incorrectnightwing:

Jason Todd: You know what they say: go big or go home!

Bruce Wayne, sobbing: I’m begging you, Jason, for once in your life, PLEASE go home

Jason: *whispering* I’m going big

genuinely the funniest thing i’ve read allweek

Dick Grayson after one of his poorly though out relationships:

Dick Grayson: I feel like such a fool. I should have never doubted you.

Barbara Gordon: There, there. You had no way of knowing the person you were dating was a vicious, murdering sociopath.

jason: you know you’ve made it when you see your picture everywhere

(y/n):

(y/n): jason- those are fucking wanted posters

jason: i had nothing to do with it

jason:

jason: okay, so maybe it was my idea BUT i feel bad about it

dick: fuck me if i’m wrong but-

y/n: you’re wrong

dick:i-

y/n:wROnG

superman, to batman and nightwing: i love the whole “good cop / bad cop” thing you have going on

nightwing: it isn’t a thing. i’m nice and that’s his default setting

dick: hey, remember when you didn’t try to solve all of your problems with attempted murder?

jason: stop romanticising the past.

tim, pouring monster and five hour energy into his coffee: I have no idea what i’m doing, but I do know that i’m doing it really well.

Jason: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Dick: We lost Tim!

Jason: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

tim, sleep deprived and on his 5th cup of coffee at 8am: onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts

dick, used to this: uh huh

tim: lasagna is spaghetti flavoured cake

dick:

tim: lobsters are mermaids to scorpions

dick, on the verge of tears:stop-

jason: please continue

tim: stop correcting me all the time!

damian: stop being wrong and i wouldn’t have to

y/n: the food is too hot, i can’t eat it

jason: you’re too hot and i still eat you

y/n:*blushes*

jason:*winks*

roy: one dinner- i juST WANT ONE FUCKING DINNER-

tim: why would you give a knife to a child?

bruce: damian felt unsafe

tim: now i feel unsafe.

bruce:

bruce: would you like a knife,

y/n: sleep is death with benefits

jason: oh, cool.

Y/N: Remember guys you can be anything!!!

Jason: Can I be your man?

Y/N: I-I don’t think that’s an answer-

Jason sobbing: YoUr bItCh-aSs sAid ANYTHING!!!!!

Dick: You need to start taking your life more serious!!!

*Y/N and Tim hearing the Ice cream truck*

Y/n and Tim: ICEEEEE CREAMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Dick:щ(`Д´щ;)

Jason and Y/N: *Running and screaming from a Guy dressed as a scary clown*

Dick: *Laughing through the mask*

Y/N and Jason: *In the corner screaming*

Y/N: *smacks the clown in the face*

Dick:Owwww!!!!

Jason: DICK YOU DICKHEAD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!!!

Dick laughing: I wanted to scare the both of you!!

Y/N: BITC- *Throws table at him*

Y/N watching Mean Girls while Chilling: Jason come here!

Jason: Yes sweetheart

Y/N: Go grab a radio

Jason: Why? Am I getting a free show?

Y/N smirking: You’ll see

~Meanwhile~

Y/N in a sexy Santa dress from Mean Girls: Okay Ready?

Jason smirking: Hell Yeah!

*Y/N doing the ‘Jingle bell rock dance’*

Y/N: *Kicks the radio at Jason’s face*

Jason: OWWW WHAT THE FUCK Y/N!!!

Y/N: I though you would get it!!

Jason: Why did you kick it towards me!?!

Y/N: Well the same dude from Mean Girls is called Jason!!