had your water and electricity shut off for weeks? -suffered severe anxiety and depression?
been on your own after leaving a sociopathic home life?
been supporting yourself with your boyfriends help, but then panicking when he breaks his ankle and is unable to work his standing job for a week?
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Fao’s hands burned across his skin, barely conscious but unfortunately aware enough to feel the pain. His breath hitched, a quiet gasp of pain. The fog was too thick to fight through, unable to force his eyes open.
Fao took a step back, looking Harrison over as he called Steve. Harrison’s clothes were ripped and torn, drenched in blood. His face was swollen, his cheek obviously disfigured. His left arm was pointed in all different directions, and his hand, bloody and bruised, was tucked to his chest. With each breath his ribs shifted in different directions, grating and rubbing against each other. His legs were even worse; while his prosthesis was nowhere to be found, his other leg was so obviously broken, the bone sticking through the skin. There was too much blood, far too much blood.
Steve answered, on a break from theatres. “Fao, morning. What’s up?”
“I’ve found Hars.”
“Is he alright?” Something in Fao’s tone had already given him the answer.
Fao took a breath. “No, he's… He’s a state. He’s got a compound fracture to his left leg, his left arm is broken too. Ribs are… Well, ribs are fucked, and his prosthetic is gone.”
“Shit. Where are you? I’ll get Trauma out to you.”
“On the edge of our land. North edge.”
“Conscious?” Steve asked, turning to gesture at the receptionist as he scrawled instructions down. “Get as many obs as you can.”
“I’ve got no kit.”
“You’ve got your phone.”
“Hang on, then.”
Steve was worried beyond belief. With the trauma team alerted and starting to prepare, he had no choice but to head out to find Fao. He didn’t have all the equipment the team had, but he could do something. The car tyres spun as he rushed out, and he swore quietly, trying to keep the worry from overwhelming him.
On his knees next to Harrison, Fao carefully took as many obs as he could. It wasn’t a lot, and the numbers he was getting weren’t exactly comforting. The younger man was in a bad way, and there wasn’t much he could do about it either. He’d seen patients like this at work, overseas, but not without a kit, or a senior, or someone else. He was all alone, and there was nothing he could do other than try and stop the bleeding. He tugged his shirt off, the only thing he had to put pressure on, and the cool air made him shudder. He just had to hope Trauma found them soon.
Steve found them before the team did, lugging his bag as he ran. He could smell the blood a mile off, and it made his stomach turn. It didn’t smell good at all.
“Steve!” Fao called, catching sight of the other man.
“Fao. Thank God I’ve found you. North edge is a lot of land.” He gave the other man a forced smile as he knelt to assess Harrison. “Fucking hell.”
“Sorry. Was out running, wasn’t exactly keeping track of where I was.” He murmured. “He’s not good, tachy and his resps are shocking. Think he’s just conscious, but he slips in and out. I’ve done my best with the bleeding, but…”
Steve nodded. “Did a good job. Grab some kit and keep going.” He rested a gentle hand on Harrison’s cheek. “Stay with us, okay? We’ve got you. Just hold on.”
Wiping his bloody hands on his shorts, Fao reached for the kit. “How far out is trauma?”
“Too far.” He leaned back on his haunches. “Do as much as you can. I’ll bring the truck, we’ll get him back to the clinic. It’s not enough, but it’ll have to do.” Steve didn’t have much of a choice. They either tried to get him to the clinic, or he’d die in the dirt. At least they’d know they’d done their best.
“Redirect trauma there? They can meet us.” Fao muttered. “To think I thought Afghanistan was bad. Fucking hell.”
“Exactly. It’s the same distance for them.”
“Saves them wasting time looking for us.”
He nodded as he stood. “I’ll be five minutes. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Keep him…” He trailed off, gave Fao a nod and ran off again.
“Yeah, got it.” Fao replied, not even looking up.
As Fao pressed hard against a wound, Harrison let out a quiet groan, struggling to breathe against the pain.
“I know, Tomcat, I know. We’ve got you.”
Steve returned as quick as he could, backing the truck as close as he could get. He jumped out and lowered the back. “We okay?”
“Well, that depends on your definition of ‘okay’.” Fao muttered. “We’re the same.”
“I’ll take that as okay. Help me get him in?”
“Yeah. Ready?”
“As careful as we can.”
Despite their soft hands, the movement jolted Harrison. He screamed in pain, trying to pull away from them.
They didn’t stop as Harrison screamed, quickly getting him in the back of the truck. Fao kept the kit close by, and then hopped up next to him. “You drive, yeah? I can try and keep him stable back here.”
“Thanks. Just shout if you need anything.” Steve told him, before he started the car and sped off. He kept glancing in the rearview, praying to a god he no longer believed in. He couldn’t lose Harrison again.
It was a job to stay upright as Steve sped through the territory, and Fao tried his best to keep Harrison stable. He just had to make it to the clinic, they had more there, he’d have a better shot at helping him there.
Steve had managed to source a couple of people to help out, some staff already working and others called in for the emergency. They met him at the clinic entrance, trauma board ready.
It was a smooth and practiced transition, getting Harrison into the theatre and everything connected. He barely made a noise, the pain finally too distant to hurt him. As Fao had found, his reps were through the roof, as was his heart rate. His sats were awful, and the blood pressure kept cycling, refusing to give a number.
It was impossible to find a vein through the swelling and bruising, their limited options quickly exhausted. They weren’t left with much else of a choice when Steve grabbed the kit, turned Harrison’s head to the side and apologised to the younger wolf. It was luck, pure luck that he managed it, the cannula flushing back and ready.
“Let’s get him out.”
Fao had been turning the room upside down, looking for meds and kit that they’d need. Induction drugs were already laid out, and he handed them to Steve. They didn’t have a massive stock of human meds, but they kept enough.
“Have we got blood to transfuse?”
“We’re getting it. Has to be wolf.”
“He needs it now.”
“Fluids are up.”
“Fluids won’t be enough.” Fao said. “I can donate, right?”
“I need you treating, Fao.”
“I can do both. Bloods out, fluids in, I can treat.”
“No.”
“How long will bloods take at this rate?”
“Fao, I need a chest drain in.”
“I’m on it.” He muttered, though it was hard. His landmarks were fucked, ribs shifting under his touch, bone grating on bone. Muttering under his breath in a mix of English and Gaelic, he made his incision and hurriedly passed the tube in. It was more blood for him to lose, Fao all too aware he’d need more, and soon.
Steve glanced over at Fao’s work, mentally ticking it off. He gave it a moment to work, blood pouring through the tube, but it didn’t help. Harrison had reached his limit, his body had started to give up and was starting to decompensate.
“Right, fuck it. Fao, blood.”
“I can’t cannulate myself.” He muttered. “I’ve tried.”
One of he techs grabbed him, steering him to a chair. Fao’s veins were shit, everyone knew that, but Harrison’s life was on the line. No time for niceties, they cannulated as quick as they could.
Fao didn’t fuss, and he was glad when everything was in. It was made easier by his run, the way he was completely on edge, still so hot and strsssed. Better warm than freezing cold. He’d managed to throw on a scrub top now, and they set up to transfuse.
Steve wasn’t happy with the set-up, but it was dirty medicine. Not everything could be perfect all the time. As long as it worked, it didn’t matter.
Fao didn’t like it either, but he didn’t have a choice. If it would stabilise Harrison, it would buy them time.
Their hail Mary worked. Finally they got a blood pressure from Harrison. It was terrible, of course, and ready to bottom out again, but it was there. Slowly things started to stabilise again, allowing Steve to take a breath.
More blood was pushed, as was the sedation, and they gradually clawed back some control. Blood was still pouring from the chest drains, and Steve was sure there were more internal bleeds. It wasn’t something he was happy opening on his table, so he just hoped Trauma would hurry up.
With Harrison out, they also put his leg back in place. It was a struggle, and they weren’t sure how long it had been out. He was already at high risk for infection, and that just made it a million times worse. They knew if he made it through all this, it was going to be a long recovery. Nerve damage, chronic pain, and poor mobility threatened his recovery. Steve wasn’t sure he’d make it through it. He wasn’t convinced there wasn’t going to be another amputation.
hello, my name is kasper and i am a trans man from Poland. on june 5th it was my 18th birthday, which in Poland means that i can now legally take action into transitioning. i’ve been struggling everyday with severe dysphoria for a big portion of my life that makes it hard for me to function, and it has been getting so bad to the point that now i needto start thinking, and taking action about going on testosterone. unfortunately though, i am still struggling to find a job, and my finances are very limited. it is also very, very difficult to get everything done in Poland, and the process is very expensive.
and while it is in no way recquired, i have a paypal and a ko-fi. you are not obliged to donate, nor commission me, but please do consider reblogging this post! thank you for reading and have a great day :) my paypal: paypal.me/saikiddo my ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/saikiddo
my commissions are still open! just goin to take longer since i still have to finish some old ones but! i’ll get that done this weekend for sure!!
I just got kicked out of my house and I’m fucking terrified. I’ve been homeless before, I never want to do that again. I have animals. I want money to at the very least, lay on someone’s couch or stay in a motel. If you can give, please consider it. Otherwise, reblogs are very much appreciated.
First of all thank you to those who have been kind.
Secondly,
A few months ago I slipped on ice due to a cheap cane giving out and damaged my phone. And thanks to my unsteady hands it’s fallen again and now the screen is falling off. I would love to have a replacement but I can’t afford it at this stage. Extra Funds to do that would be greatly appreciated!
I just got kicked out of my house and I’m fucking terrified. I’ve been homeless before, I never want to do that again. I have animals. I want money to at the very least, lay on someone’s couch or stay in a motel. If you can give, please consider it. Otherwise, reblogs are very much appreciated.
First of all thank you to those who have been kind.
Secondly,
A few months ago I slipped on ice due to a cheap cane giving out and damaged my phone. And thanks to my unsteady hands it’s fallen again and now the screen is falling off. I would love to have a replacement but I can’t afford it at this stage. Extra Funds to do that would be greatly appreciated!
I just got kicked out of my house and I’m fucking terrified. I’ve been homeless before, I never want to do that again. I have animals. I want money to at the very least, lay on someone’s couch or stay in a motel. If you can give, please consider it. Otherwise, reblogs are very much appreciated.
First of all thank you to those who have been kind.
Secondly,
A few months ago I slipped on ice due to a cheap cane giving out and damaged my phone. And thanks to my unsteady hands it’s fallen again and now the screen is falling off. I would love to have a replacement but I can’t afford it at this stage. Extra Funds to do that would be greatly appreciated!
I just got kicked out of my house and I’m fucking terrified. I’ve been homeless before, I never want to do that again. I have animals. I want money to at the very least, lay on someone’s couch or stay in a motel. If you can give, please consider it. Otherwise, reblogs are very much appreciated.
First of all thank you to those who have been kind.
Secondly,
A few months ago I slipped on ice due to a cheap cane giving out and damaged my phone. And thanks to my unsteady hands it’s fallen again and now the screen is falling off. I would love to have a replacement but I can’t afford it at this stage. Extra Funds to do that would be greatly appreciated!
Bet y’all never thought I’d need a reaon to use this blog again, did you? I didn’t either, and I’d hoped to keep it on tap in case (God forbid) my other blog got deleted by me or Tumblr or something. But yeah. There’s stuff going on in my life I don’t feel I can talk about on that blog since my mother and son both know the username there.
So as most of you who went back to following noregretsnotearsnoanxieties know, I’m currently homeless and have been for about eight months now. I live in a car with my mom and our cats, occasionally stay in hotels, and it’s all a mess.
Well, it has gotten worse.
Twice in the last week my mother has punched me (once when I tossed her phone towards her and the other when I angrily threw her pajamas and a button hit her in the face). I hit back and she’s threatened multiple times in the last week to leave me wherever it is we might be at with nothing in my possession except my bookbag and laptop and the clothes on my back. That means she would have my cat, all my medicine, all my clothing, and what little food we have left.
I currently do not have a working phone or way to use transportation outside of what my mom can provide. Every cent of money I’ve gotten either went to hotels or to getting the car smogged and registered, where we got screwed over (and even today, when we have enough for the smog certificate and she knows the guy is there, my mother has decided she will do it tomorrow, meaning I cannot touch any of the money I got yesterday and transferred to her account for bathroom or food stuff).
Now,@strangelock221b and I have been talking, and we figure if I can get $250 I can at least start trying to get things set up to get the hell out of this situation on my own (which might mean, unfortunately, I will have to cut off contact with my ENTIRE family, including my son, which is breaking my fucking heart). The $250 will get me this phone, my $63 unlimited phone plan, my disabled bus pass ID, the cheapest disabled pass they have and food.
I have no idea what to do other than that. I really don’t. I’ve been running it around in my head since the fight last night, and I can’t really do anything until I have the above at a bare minimum. Any help would be amazing, even if it’s just finding a place for me to go.
I’m tagging a few people who have helped before with stuff but I’m going to log off of this account for the moment and go back to my public one but yeah. It’s a bad situation, a lot worse than I’ve been letting on, and I am scared and angry and stressed right now and yeah. I need to get out.
