Reason & Responsibility | Chapter 7

PeriodPiece!AU, Eren x Fem!Reader

Content:Angst and Fluff

Summary:The day of the wedding has arrived, tensions are running high and decisions are being made.

Masterlist

A/N: Oh my goodness, it’s the last chapter hsiglsdfj this fic felt so short but also so incredibly long I don’t know how to explain it. Anyways, I don’t have much to say other than THANK YOU for sticking around for this story, I love you guys so much!! I hope you enjoy this last chapter :))) (also I was preparing this post to post it on friday but I’m just gonna do it rn, fuck it)

Chapter 7

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.”

The words were spoken in monotone, flat and dry, easily reflecting the true feelings of their speaker. They weren’t filled with anger, hurt, or disdain. But rather sounded like someone making a simple observation. Like they were commenting on the weather, or something else unimportant. However, this didn’t stop Eren from standing abruptly out of his seat in a fit of surprise, Y/N following closely behind.

“Zeke. I—” Eren stated at the sight of his brother, his whole body catching on fire from the shame of being caught. A familiar feeling from their childhood. He always resented the times when his older brother would always get him in trouble with their parents. Only this time it felt far worse.

His brother held up a stern hand, effectively silencing his younger brother.

“I had a feeling something was going on between the two of you.” Zeke stated, matter-of-factly. Y/N refrained herself from scoffing. She could hardly believe that he would hold the same air of pretentiousness even when he caught his fiancé kissing his own brother. But she didn’t say anything, Y/N stayed quiet as he continued.

“I first suspected it that very first night.” Zeke said, as if he were unraveling the clues to a mystery rather than exposing an illicit affair, “It was obvious how you felt about one another… Eren you only ever act as such a fool whenever you’re around a woman you deem attractive.”

“It’s not solely based on attractiveness—“ Eren stammered, but his brother interrupted him once more.

“I’m not looking for interjections.” Zeke snapped. “I simply want to know how long it has been since you’ve shared your affections.”

“How long it’s—?” Eren started again, but he couldn’t finish his sentence, as he had been interrupted yet again. But not by his brother, this time Y/N spoke up, her voice surprising the other two occupants in the room as if they’d forgotten she was there.

“Don’t you care?” Y/N asked, her voice sharp with unexpected anger. Both Zeke and Eren stared at her dumbfoundedly.

“Care?” Zeke responded, with a pretentious laugh, “Care about what?”

“You have just stumbled upon your fiancé in the arms of your own brother.” Y/N answered, stepping out from behind the pianoforte, “and yet, here you are, acting as if it doesn’t affect you.”

“Tell me, Miss Y/L/N, why should I care?” Zeke said, and she opened her mouth to respond but he kept going with his speech, “I have no concern with what you do in your free time. I only ask you to be a proper wife.”

Y/N let out a groan of frustration, bordering on a scream as she stepped closer to her supposed husband-to-be, “Is that truly your only reaction to this?”

“What do you expect from me?” Zeke asked, his own voice raising, caught up in Y/N’s anger. Eren’s mouth hung open as he watched the two of them, his eyes darting back and forth between the two figures. He felt like an outsider. It felt lonely. And it made him scared of the end result of this confrontation.

“I expect you to get angry!” Y/N practically yelled, “I expect you to act like a living, breathing human being and to burn this house down, to feel betrayed, to cry! Anything!”

Zeke stood there, saying nothing as the girl went on. She moved closer towards Zeke. Eren wouldn’t be surprised if she grabbed him by his lapels, shaking him until he found his senses. But she only fumed in her own anger, glaring at the blonde man.

“But yet you do nothing!” Y/N spat, “It’s as if you don’t feel anything!”

“I didn’t expect much happiness out of a life that forced me into an arranged marriage. Especially one that was so loveless. But I at leastexpected you to care.” She said, her voice cracking by the end of her sentence. She now stood in the middle of the room, her shoulders filled with tension, her nostrils flaring, her breathing heavy. Zeke simply just looked at her.

“Are you finished?” He asked, and this time Y/N did scoff, crossing her arms to try and shield herself from his cold demeanor. Zeke seemed to pay no mind to her own discomfort, and continued on with another one of his infamous lectures.

“I am certain we are all well enough aware that this marriage was more of an economic proposition than anything else.” Zeke said as he removed his glasses, calmly wiping them on the edge of his shirt and then placing them gently back on his face. “So, no. I do not care if you share affections with my younger brother. All I ask of you is to keep that part of your life private. Keep it out of the public eye, and I don’t see why we should have to put an end to our union. As long as you give me what I want I see no point in denying you the same right.”

Eren held his breath, waiting to hear what Y/N had to say. He already knew his own answer as relief flooded through his form. He couldn’t believe that this was the outcome of his brother finding out. Was he really going to let them continue on with their relationship? Eren could feel how the hope that burned into ashes just moments before was now flying free, rising like a phoenix. He would be able to keep his promise. Y/N would never have to bear the pain of losing him, and neither would he. But as he turned to look at the girl, the beating heart in his chest fell flat once more as he registered the tears that were swimming in her eyes.

“How despicable.” She whispered, her eyes trained on the ground in front of her. “You want me for status… For my father’s dowry… But that’s all it is, isn’t it?”

“Do you wish for me to want you for more than that?” Zeke questioned, raising a brow. Eren kept his eyes locked on Y/N. Waiting for her answer. Praying she says no. Because if she doesn’t, if she reveals this whole time that she had been longing for Zeke’s affections, Eren didn’t think he would live to see another day. His hands started to shake as Y/N hesitated.

“I wish for a marriage that isn’t as soulless as the one you are offering me.” She whispered, her eyes flickering over to Eren. It happened so fast that he didn’t fully believe that it actually happened. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe he was only searching for what he wanted to see.

“Well, then I apologize.” Zeke stated. “I can’t offer you anything different… And as it turns out, you don’t have much room to ask for such.”

Y/N stared at him. Zeke stared back. And Eren watched as his own happiness slipped from his grasp. Just like he predicted.

“Fine.” Y/N said. And before another word was said, before anyone realized what was happening, the girl was gone. Disappeared behind the swinging door of Zeke’s drawing room. Zeke barely had time to register what was happening, and soon he was blinking in surprise at the sight of his brother’s back, also disappearing out the door, following after her.

~

It was raining again. It was almost funny how the weather always seemed to know exactly when Y/N was lost within her troubles. She thought back to the last time she was caught in the rain. Her heart was thundering just as loudly as the world around her when she confronted Eren. And then he kissed her. And she was happy. It felt as though that night was decades ago. Like it was a moment that was now lost with time, that she would never be able to return to.

Somehow that thought had urged her to step out into the rain. Hoping that the familiar rainfall would wash away her troubles, and bring her back to a moment where she felt on top of the world. So she did.

The rain instantly soaked her skin. Seeping through her dress and drenching her hair. The one thing she found out about Marley was that when it rained, it poured. And that seemed to be the extent of all events that happened in this distant city. And now here she was, letting the rain fall over her head, hoping that it would wash her away. She shut her eyes against the gray sunlight, it’s usual shine muted by the rain clouds, forcing herself to feel nothing. Maybe the cold would cause her to grow numb, and maybe that numbness will stretch over to her feelings as well.

“Y/N.”

She didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. There was only one person besides her parents that called her by her first name. Y/N didn’t say anything. But that didn’t deter Eren from talking to her. Soon she felt his presence by her side, his warmth instantly battling the cold of the rain.

The two of them stayed quiet as they stood in front of the side entrance to Zeke’s estate. The rain falling over their heads as their eyes trained on the world around them. Eren was so close she could practically feel each breath roll through his body. She stole a quick glance at the man, she saw how his jaw was clenched, his eyebrows furrowed. He was angry. And she had some idea as to why.

“Why did you say that to Zeke?” Eren finally said, the silence breaking like a wine glass being dropped on a marble floor, his voice riddled with the anger she observed within his irises.

“Say what, exactly?” Y/N questioned, hoping to prolong the time she had to come up with an answer. She wasn’t sure why she said what she did. All she knew was that her heart ached with the thought of her life being taken away in favor of a horrible marriage.

“You confessed your disappointment in Zeke’s proposition.” Eren told her, his eyes snapping towards her. They burned in a glare that Y/N never expected to fall under. She felt herself crumble underneath his stare.

“Is it wrong of me to want more than that?” She breathed, looking down at her hands, not brave enough to look him in the eye.

“Hewasoffering you more than that!” He snapped, practically shouting, “He offered us a chance to be together.”

“Is that really what you think I want?” Y/N replied, her answer suddenly finding her in the middle of a storm. Shifting her gaze back to Eren, to brave the glare that she was still under.

“What have we been doing then?” Eren yelled, throwing out his hands in exasperation. “If you don’t want to take this chance— If you don’t want to be with me, then why are you putting me through this? Were you only toying with my heart? Were you playing me as a fool?”

“Of course not, Eren.” She yelled back, moving in front of him to face him head on. Now it was his turn to shy away from her gaze but she didn’t let that stop her, Y/N kept on talking, hoping that her words could get through to him, “Why on earth would I get involved in this if I didn’t want to be with you?”

“Then what is the problem?” Eren shouted, finally looking down at the girl in front of him. But the soft-hearted look that she was accustomed to was still nowhere to be seen. His nostrils flared as he continued, “Why wouldn’t you take his—”

“—Because I want you to want all of me!” She all but screamed over the pounding of the rain as well as the beating of her heart. Eren blinked at her in surprise. Y/N’s breathing was heavy, her chest heaving up and down as she held his stare. When she had the courage to speak again, her voice came out steady as she willed herself to stay calm after her outburst.

“I don’t want you to have me under some half-hearted agreement.” She said, her words shaking with the anger and disappointment she was trying to suppress. “It wasn’t a matter of wanting more from him. Everything that I could possibly want would fall only to your hands. I want more from you.”

Eren sucked in a shuddering breath. His eyes searched Y/N’s face, and he found the truth he had been hoping for from that fleeting glance she gave him during their discussion with Zeke. Unfortunately the hope that the proposition gave him did not return. Eren thought of their families. Their responsibilities. It was all crashing down around him. He shook his head gravely, as he finally spoke up.

“I… I can’t give you more.” He murmured.”I don’t see any other way we can be together.”

Y/N’s shoulders dropped from his confession. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting him to say. But she didn’t think it would hurt this damn much from an answer that she knew was coming. She nodded, sadly, her tears from before finally falling down her face to mix with the rain that was already soaking her skin.

“Then it might be best if you give me nothing at all.” She said, before turning back towards the house, ready to pull herself away from Eren for good.

“Wait, Y/N—” His warm hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her where she was. She didn’t turn to look at him. She wouldn’t be able to handle seeing his face.

“Don’t.” Y/N begged, her back turned to him. “I don’t want to live a life where my happiness is kept a secret. My heart can’t handle that.”

Eren let her wrist fall from her grasp. She walked through the door. And they both knew that would be the last they saw of each other until the day of the wedding.

~

The journey back to Grisha Jaeger’s estate was long and tiring. Or at least it felt that way as Y/N sat in uncomfortable silence with her husband-to-be. Her sight was stuck on the outside world that was passing them by in a blur of greens and browns. Zeke was busy, concentrating on the paperwork that his father had left him to do. The only sounds accompanying them were the creaks from the carriage wheels and the hooves of the horses that whisked them away from their future home. It was a deafening silence. A silence that would most likely follow them throughout their years together. A silence that reminded Y/N of her duties and the life she was stuck with.

When they had finally arrived at the house, Y/N couldn’t have jumped out of that carriage fast enough. She was already halfway through the front door when she heard the scolding she earned from her fiance. But she didn’t stop to listen to the rest. Just simply escaped up to her quarters where she resided for the rest of the day.

The last day of her freedom. And it was spent in the four walls where she spent most of her time dreading her future. What was even worse, she hadn’t seen Eren for the past two days. Not that she was expecting to. But the moment she left him in the rain she instantly regretted her choice. That choice had left her with an ache in her heart that would most likely never subside. And after tomorrow morning, when she was finally betrothed to Zeke, Y/N knew that feeling would stay lodged in her heart until the day she died.

The rest of the evening passed her by as she lay curled up on the bed. The sun slowly traveled from east to west until darkness took control of the room. Her thoughts were plaguing her until the quiet that surrounded her finally lulled her into a sleep where her dreams were filled with nothing, finally giving her a peace of mind.

The next morning, she was woken from her slumber by a hand softly stroking her hair. A familiar action she hadn’t felt in so long. A comforting scent wafted through her nostrils. And when she finally registered who it was, she practically jumped out of bed, wrapping her arms around the person she needed most. And she hadn’t even realized.

“Mother.” She whispered into the shoulder that had been there to cry on since she was a young girl. She felt the warmth from her mother’s laughter bloom through her chest, and a comforting hand smoothing over the back of her hair.

“Good morning, my sweet girl.” Her mother said, placing a kiss at the crown of her head. Y/N clutched harder to the woman who raised her, and for some reason the comfort of being surrounded by her own family had brought forth more tears she didn’t know she could give. Her body silently shook, as she tried to hide her true feelings. But then a sob broke from her form, and her mother instantly noticed.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” The older woman asked, taking the girl by her shoulders so that she could see her, getting a good look at her tear sodden face.

Y/N’s lip trembled, her words lost on her tongue. She had no idea what to say. There was no way to reveal her true feelings without disappointing her mother. So she just shook her head and fell back against her mother’s chest, relishing in the arms that instantly took hold of her.

“Why are you here?” Y/N asked, when she finally regained her voice.

“You didn’t think that I wouldn’t see my daughter the morning of her wedding, did you?” Her mother chuckled softly, her hand still stroking Y/N’s hair, she felt as her Y/N shook in her arms and sighed before adding, “But now I’m sure that there’s a better reason that I’m here.”

Y/N stiffened in her mother’s arms, partly because of her mentioning the wedding, but also because she didn’t think she could get out of this conversation without telling her mother why she was crying. She could lie, of course. But something felt wrong about it. So she took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to say the words that have been plaguing her ever since her parents first told her about the betrothal.

“I don’t want to get married.” Y/N murmured, her voice small. She felt like a child again. Maybe she still was a child. She wasn’t ready for such a big milestone in her life. She had more life to live. She felt as her mother stopped stroking her hair. But this time, Y/N pulled herself back, putting on a brave face, even if her courage hadn’t quite caught up yet.

“What are you saying?” Her mother asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

“I’m not happy with this man, mother.” Y/N told her, the weight that had been pressing down on her chest ever since she arrived slowly started to dissipate. “I know that you want me to marry him. And I’ll do anything for you and papa, but I don’t know if i’ll be able to uphold the responsibility of being his wife. I just can’t—”

“—Darling, take a breath.” Her mother cooed, interrupting the rant that Y/N was about to dive into. Her mother’s features were soft, there was no hint of anger or disappointment. And it confused the girl. She wasn’t expecting a reaction that was so tender. She closed her mouth, letting her mother speak.

“My sweet girl.” Her mother said again, her eyes shining with what looked to be admiration for her daughter, “You have never been one to listen to what me and your father tell you to do.”

The two women laughed at the memories that flashed through their minds as her mother said this. Her mother’s aged hands came up to wipe the stray tears that were still falling from Y/N’s eyes. The older woman offered a kind smile before continuing on.

“In fact, you’ve always been the type to do what your heart tells you.” She said, “I would never want unhappiness for you. And I apologize I didn’t see it sooner. I thought this marriage would be good for you.”

“I don’t blame you for anything.” Y/N quickly said, covering her mothers hand with her own. The older woman smiled sadly at her daughter.

“Yes, but I blame myself.” She told her, “I took away your power in favor of deciding what’s right for you. But that is something I know you can do on your own. You are so strong, and kind, darling. I know that you will make the right choice, whatever you decide to do.”

Y/N pulled her mother into yet another hug, earning a surprised yelp from her. Y/N held onto her tight. Suddenly being hit with a bout of appreciation for the woman who raised her. As she held onto her mother, she realized everything that she was, was thanks to this woman. And then she realized all of the things that she had done for her mother in return. Which was nothing but trouble and self-proclaimed heart attacks. Y/N thought back to when her mother first told her about her betrothal, and how there were tears of pride shining in her irises. It was rare to be subjected to those tears.

And the girl now saw the deeper meaning of her responsibilities. She saw what her actions would do if she did what she wanted, the disgrace that she would bring to her parents for the rest of their lives. And she thought of Eren, who was now lost to her because of her choices. So maybe her mother was wrong. Maybe her mother did know what was right for her. Maybe she should live on the choices of others, because it seemed that her own was what caused this whole mess in the first place. Y/N held her mother tighter, and with a shaking breath, she finally decided what she must do.

“Will you help me with my wedding dress?”

~

It was a beautiful day for a white wedding. Everyone had great big grins on their faces, wearing their Sunday best. It was a small wedding, but Mrs. Jaeger had invited their closest friends and family. And they were all happy. All except one man, who stood at the front steps of the church, looking up at the building with as much disdain one would hold towards their enemy.

His fists were clenched at his sides, his features darkened. Though no one paid him any mind as they streamed past him into the wide double doors to find their seats. Eren watched the happy people with contempt. It was unfair that these people associated this day with joy when he saw it for the facade it was.

The whole event reeked of fraudulence. A marriage between a man whose only interest was in the image it presented and a woman who was trapped by her responsibility. And there was nothing Eren could do about it except to stand frozen in trepidation, the carefree wedding-goers chatting excitedly around him. No one noticed him. He was an outsider.

A hand on his shoulder pulled him from his self-deprecating thoughts. He turned to find his mother smiling up at him.

“Are you ready?” Mrs. Jaeger asked. Eren’s throat was tight and his tongue was dry, there was no way to respond to his mother so he simply nodded, holding out his arm for her to take. Her grip was gentle on his arm as he guided her into the church, but even with the familiar comforting touch of his mother, his dread was still looming over him.

“What’s troubling you, darling?” He heard his mother say through the uneasy fog that clouded his brain. He blinked at her, though he wasn’t surprised that she noticed his miserable demeanor. She was his mother after all.

“Nothing.” He breathed, but when he earned a look of disbelief from the older woman, he realized he couldn’t get away with just one simple word. “I can handle it on my own.”

His mother offered him a sad, knowing smile, “Is that all the information you’re willing to give me?”

“For now.” He said softly, as they reached their seats at the front of the church. His brother was already standing up at the altar, in his best suit, his blonde hair slicked back, punctual as always. Eren tried hard not to glare daggers at Zeke as he stood idly waiting for his bride.

“Well if you won’t reveal any more of your troubles, will you allow me to offer you a piece of advice?” Mrs. Jaeger said as they sat in the pew.

“How will you be able to offer me advice if you don’t know what’s troubling me?” Eren chuckled, as he leaned his forearms on his knees.

“This piece of advice is one that covers a broad spectrum of topics. I’ve utilized it many times throughout my life.” Mrs. Jaeger laughed as she brushed a strand of Eren’s hair behind his ear. He smiled gently at the action he recognized from his childhood. And then he leaned back against the wooden bench, rubbing his palms over his thighs, letting out a deep breath as he did.

“Go on, then.” He sighed, “Let’s hear it.”

“I may not know what’s troubling you, but I do know it will pass.” She said, thoughtfully, “These sorts of things always have a funny way of working themselves out. You just simply have to hold on.”

“What if it doesn’t work itself out?” Eren breathed, finally letting his true feelings harrow his facial features, “What if I’m not strong enough to hold on.”

“My dear boy, you are the strongest man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.” His mother said, her eyes filled with kindness and gratitude, “But I think you might have been misguided to what strength truly is.”

“Then what is true strength?”

“Vulnerability.” She told him, placing a hand over his own, “I regret that you grew up learning that strength was pushing away the things that trouble you. I should have taught you that sometimes you just have to go through it to get out of it. You have to let yourself feel.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.” Eren whispered, looking down at their hands.

“Of course you can, darling.” His mother smiled warmly, clasping her fingers around Eren’s hand, squeezing it with reassurance. Eren opened his mouth to deny his strength once more. But he was interrupted by the appearance of his father, who placed a gentle kiss on his mother’s temple before sitting down next to her. The moment had passed and Eren kept quiet. The words of his mother swarming his brain. He sat silently, his mind reeling, until the whole church was full with family and friends. He sat there until everyone settled down, and the organ started playing the wedding march. Then they all stood, turning towards the end of the aisle, smiling faces waiting. The doors opened, and the bride entered on the arm of her kind-looking father, her pretty white dress flowing around her like an ocean made of silk. And at that moment, Eren felt everything.

~

Y/N’s hands were shaking as she clutched onto her father’s forearm. Her whole body felt numb, and she was pretty sure her legs were moving on their own because her mind was telling her to run away and to never look back. But her own determination kept her where she was. She had come to a decision this morning. And there wasn’t any reason for her to back out of it now. But even so, her determination and her desire was waging war within her mind.

And then she saw Eren and everything stopped. The world around her disappeared as well as the war in her mind. She sucked in a breath at the sight of him. He was looking at her with parted lips and tenderness in his eyes. He was standing in the very first row of the pews, he was only three feet away from the altar. Three feet from where Y/N truly wished he could be.

That secret desire coming forth crashed into her so forcefully she almost lost her footing. Her determination was quickly losing the battle against her desires. Eren was the secret weapon, the surefire way to end her tribulations. Her heartstrings tugged her towards him. But she was held in place by her father. She was trapped by the confines of the social expectations of a wedding. And now her mind was reeling for completely different reasons.

She was so preoccupied, that it came to her as a surprise when she found herself at the altar, standing in front of Zeke. Her father had left her with a single kiss on her forehead, and desperation had almost caused her to grab at his wrist, urging him to stay. But her father left her there, finding a place next to her mother.

The words of the minister didn’t register in her ears. It was like she was under water, listening to warbled speech she couldn’t understand. Everyone around her seemed to be fine, acting normal. She stole a glance at the man standing next to her. His face was blank, unmoving, as he stared politely at the minister.

Y/N’s heartbeat was hammering against her ribcage, trying to force its way out of her chest. The end was drawing nearer and her hands were now uncontrollably shaking, the bouquet she was holding was trembling. And no one noticed. Not even her fiance.

Except, unknowing to her, Eren noticed. Because he noticed everything about her. There wasn’t a moment since she entered the room where he took his eyes off of her. She was the image of aphrodite herself in her white gown. And now he watched as tension caused her to stand rigid up on the altar.

Eren wanted to hold her shaking hands, he wanted to leave kisses on her cheeks, he wanted her to know that she didn’t have to worry about anything else as long as he was there. He wanted so desperately to take her away from this whole mess, without the obstacle of his brother and their families. And suddenly he realized why Y/N was so hurt the day Zeke gave him his proposition. As long as this marriage was in the way, they would never be able to have each other the way they truly wished for. Y/N wanted him to want all of her. Not the feeble version of his love that had to be hidden in secrecy, like his brother offered. She wanted him to love her outloud. To scream it until his throat was raw, until every single person knew that he was hers. And he wanted that too. He wanted all of her.

“Do you Y/N Y/L/N, take Zeke Jaeger to be your lawfully wedded husband.” The minister said in his drawling voice, effectively pulling Eren free from the whirlwind of feelings that he was encased in. Panic settled in his bones, and before he realized what he was doing, Eren was standing on shaking legs. The crowd gasped, the world on the verge of an uproar.

But as it turned out, the horror from the crowd wasn’t a reaction to him. At that exact same moment when Eren stood, Y/N spoke.

“I can’t.” She said, and she was almost shocked by the confidence of her tone. Zeke looked at her with fire in his eyes. The minister stood dumbfounded between them. The guests were all watching with bated breath.

“What are you doing?” Zeke hissed through gritted teeth.

“I apologize.” Y/N said in a hushed tone. The many people watching them straining their ears, and leaning forward in their seats so they could catch what was going on.

“I just realized that I must reject your proposal.” She said simply, her shoulders straightening as she felt her courage rise to her chest.

“You… You can’t reject my proposal when we’re standing at the altar.” Zeke sputtered, his face turning red. He glanced nervously at his father who was staring at them with a rage that no one would want to be subjected to.

“Better late than never.” Y/N shrugged, shoving her bouquet into Zeke’s hands. She began to turn, but his slimy grip on her wrist stopped her before she could make her grand escape.

“Are you seriously doing this?” Zeke spat, “Are you truly willing to bring disgrace to both our families?”

The two stood staring at one another for a moment. A moment long enough to maybe think that Zeke had convinced her to stay. But then Y/N’s eyes shifted over to her parents. She saw how her father’s features were covered with confusion. Her mother beside him, had her hands covering her mouth, but her eyes were gleaming with an amused smile that was most likely hidden by her palms. When her mother gave her a small encouraging nod, more of her courage settled into her form.

And then she looked over to the other side of the room, where the Jaegers were standing. She saw how Mr. Jaeger stood with anger in his eyes, nostrils flaring, cheeks red. His wife beside him held a look of curiosity, and maybe something along the lines of understanding, but there was nothing disdainful written in her irises.

And finally, her eyes rested on the man who had stolen her heart. All he gave her was the same crooked grin she saw that very first night on the train. And that was all she needed. Y/N turned back to Zeke, her own smile dancing on her lips.

‘Zeke… Believe me when I tell you that I am the last woman to make you happy.” She said, “I’m giving you the chance to find a wife you can actually be proud of. And maybe then you’ll be able to offer her more than a soulless marriage.”

Zeke’s grip loosened as he listened to her words. His own shock was easily readable over his features. This was the first time he showed any emotion to Y/N, and she thought that the change suited him. She offered him one more beaming smile before taking a step back. The tension that surrounded them finally broke, the crowd around them immediately went into a frenzy, breaking the shocked silence with flabbergasted chatter. And through the chaos, the bride disappeared, leaving the church in a flash of blinding white.

~

The wedding was left in shambles. The crowd grew restless as they searched for people to speak on such an unforgivable action made by the bride. Gossip was buzzing through the air, making it almost impossible for Eren to even hear himself think.

When he finally regained his senses he immediately moved to set off after her. His heart was racing, and the world around him was total mayhem, but all he knew was that he couldn’t bear to be apart from Y/N any longer than he needed to. He took his first step towards the door when he felt a strong grip wrap itself around his arm. He looked over his shoulder to find his father’s fuming face, and before he realized what was happening he was being pulled in the opposite direction in which Y/N left.

A second later he found himself being shoved into the backroom of the church. Zeke was pacing the length of the entire room. Y/N’s parents stayed huddled in the corner speaking in hushed tones. They all looked up when Eren and his father entered the room, Mrs. Jaeger followed closely behind.

“Father, please, I don’t know why I need to be involved in—” Eren started to say, but he was instantly cut off as Mr. Jaeger interrupted him.

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked no one in particular, looking around the room waiting for the answer as to why the bride ran away from her own wedding.

There were a few people in the room who didknow the answer. But no one seemed to want to speak up as they all stood silent, watching as Eren’s father fumed in the middle of the room.

“Will anyone care to explain why my son was just left at the altar?” Mr. Jaeger spoke up again, his eyes landing on the Y/L/N’s, as if they were to blame for their daughter’s actions.

Obviously, her father found offense in Mr. Jaeger’s accusatory glare. The man took a step closer to his father, his chest puffing up, making him look like an overprotective bear.

“I believe my daughter had just exercised her right to make her own choices.” He said, his voice subdued but the anger was still there. Eren wasn’t sure if he’d ever want to be under that malicious glare. And he couldn’t help but love the fact that his father was subjected to it now.

His father scoffed, “A choice that made our families the new topic for dinner table gossip. Do you not care that your daughter disgraced us?”

“No, I’m happy to say that I don’t.” Her father fumed, “In fact, I think she made the right decision.”

“Her actions made a waste of this whole affair and the connections this union would have brought forth.” Mr. Jaeger retorted.m, his ears turning red.

“Might I remind you who paid for this wedding, Mr. Jaeger?” Mr. Y/L/N replied, “You have no right to discuss what is a waste and what isn’t, and quite frankly, I would spend a fortune to disband any connections with the likes of you.”

“How dare you—“

“Father!” Zeke’s voice rang out across the room, all eyes suddenly turning towards him. “There is no reason to fall into petty arguments when there are other contributing factors we need to account for.”

“What do you mean?”

“The blame doesn’t solely belong in Miss Y/L/N’s hands.” Zeke said, his eyes falling on Eren. The room grew silent. Eren wanted to wring his brother’s neck.

“What are you saying?” Mr. Jaeger asked, not yet noticing where Zeke’s gaze was pointed. His brother nodded towards Eren, everyone’s eyes landed on him.

“Eren, care to enlighten everyone?” Zeke questioned. Eren’s eyes burned towards his older brother, his jaw clenched. His anger coursed through him like a current. Though he shouldn’t be surprised that his brother had found a way to force Eren into the box that labeled him as the mistake of his family.

But now that he was here, at a failed wedding, the love of his life somewhere out in that world. He realized that he didn’t care for the label. And maybe he should just take ownership of it. So when he spoke again he told the truth, and he didn’t dare hold himself back.

“I love her.” He said softly. He heard Y/N’s mother gasp, his own mother placing her hand over her mouth in surprise. He watched as Zeke stared at him with disdain and his father looked at him as if he grew a second head.

“What? How? You’ve never even interacted with the girl.” His father stammered, somehow in disbelief that his son would cause such drama.

“That’s where you’re wrong, father.” Zeke spoke up again, “I’ve discovered that they’ve actually grown quite close. I’d only just learned of it when I found them together when I returned to my estate after the house call.”

“Tell me, Eren, is this true?” His mother asked, her hand now placed on her heart.

“Yes.” Eren replied, his voice unwavering. A sound of disbelief escaped his father’s throat. His brother shook his head, crossing his arms around his chest. Mrs. Y/L/N looked as if she were about to faint, and all the color had drained from her husband’s face.

“You’re saying you hold affections for my daughter?” Mr. Y/L/N asked, his eyes still wide from the second shock of the day. Eren nodded.

“I do.”

“And she feels the same towards you?”

“I believe she does.” Eren said, his heart swelling at the thought of her. He watches as Y/N’s father nodded with contemplation. The man stayed silent, so Eren spoke up once more.

“Forgive me, sir. I never meant to disgrace your family’s name.” Eren said, he straightened his shoulders, making sure to look him in his eye, “But I love your daughter. I am aware that I most likely can’t offer her the financial security that my brother’s marriage did. But I promise to make her happy.”

Mr. Y/L/N gaped at him and Eren felt self-conscious under his gaze. But then after a moment, her father shook his head, as if trying to clear his mind, and then held out his hand.

“Who am I to stand in your way?” He murmured, lifting his shoulders with admittance, his wife smiling behind him with tears in her eyes.

“Thank you, sir.” Eren grinned, taking the hand that her father offered to him in a firm handshake. “But now I’m afraid that I must be on my way.”

“Don’t tell me you intend to follow after this girl.” Eren’s own father snapped as Eren crossed the room.

“That’sexactlywhat I’m intending, father.” He grinned, not at all trying to hide the elation in his tone. Eren pressed the palm of his hand against the cool metal of the door knob. But before he could turn it, his fathers next words stop him in his tracks.

“If you leave this room then consider yourself no longer a part of this family.”

Eren hesitated. He didn’t care what his father thought of him, nor his brother. But there was one person, he didn’t want to be in disdained graces with. He turned towards his mother, who had been silent during this whole exchange. Not saying a word, he stepped towards her. She smiled at him, sadly, and placed a gentle hand on his cheek.

“Do what you must.” She whispered, “Your father will come around eventually.”

Eren placed his hand over her own, and squeezed her fingers with gratitude. A soft ‘thank you’ towards his mother was all that was left behind from the man, before he was finally out the door.

~

Y/N Y/L/N was accustomed to garnering strange looks her entire life. She had never been the type of child to behave, nor a young lady who followed certain social expectations. She had been the center of attention many times before. But somehow she felt vulnerable under the many stares she was under as she wandered through the train station. It would be foolish of her to think it was for any other reason besides the fact that she was in a wedding dress as she waited for the next train.

She kept her sight straight ahead, ignoring the whispers that surrounded her. Though she couldn’t help but crack a smile at the young girl who shouted out in delight at the sight of her. It reminded her of when she was young. A time that seemed so long ago as she now stood on the platform that would take her away from the wedding she just ran out of.

She wasn’t exactly sure why her feet had carried her here. Maybe she felt as though she couldn’t return to the Jaeger’s estate due to the fact she just left their oldest son at the altar. So now here she stood, with her parent’s stolen reservation for the afternoon train, without an ounce of guilt.

Her parents would find another way home, she was certain of it. And she was just happy to be rid of a fiance who didn’t love her. Relief had flooded her form as she ran from the wedding, and when she caught a ride from a confused yet friendly farmer to the train station, she couldn’t help the grin that had been plastered to her face as the church was left behind in the distance.

The only tribulation that had found her was that in the shape of Eren Jaeger. She thought of him back at the church, surrounded by the chaos she created. Y/N hoped, against all reason, that he would find his way to her. And she felt a strange sense of comfort, deep in the pit of her stomach, because she knew that he would. Eventually, at least.

The train coming to a screeching halt in front of her pulled the girl from her thoughts. And as she stepped onto the train, she received even more odd looks, but she paid them no mind. She just simply made her way to the back of the train, and she didn’t stop until she was finally in the safety of an empty compartment. The feeling of vulnerability washed away as she found comfort in being behind closed doors. Even if those doors were made of glass.

A great sigh of relief escaped past her lips as she sat down against the plush surface of the seats. Her eyes fluttered shut as she tried to quiet her racing heart. She was finally home free. It was time for her to relish the calm that this compartment gave to her. The train would be stopped at the station for just a while longer. It made no sense for her to still be reeling with adrenaline while she waited.

She opened her eyes towards the sun that was seeping through the window. The people on the platform scurrying about as they packed their things onto the train. Something Y/N didn’t have to worry about since she left behind all of her belongings. Hopefully her mother will have more sense than she and collect her items for her.

Y/N laughed at herself, wondering how her mind could shift so drastically from her abandoned wedding to something as simple as her luggage. But she was greatly thrilled by the fact that something so simple was her greatest trouble at the moment. She sank further in her seat, watching with content at the random faces that passed her window.

But soon her small moment to herself was interrupted when the sound of the compartment door sliding open broke the silence. She looked up to find a man standing in the door. His cheeks flushed in a light shade of pink. His brown hair tousled as if he ran the whole way here, and his best suit was askew. His bright teal eyes were already trained on her.

“Everywhere else is full. Do you mind if I sit with you?” He asked, a sheepish grin finding its way on his lips as Eren repeated the very first words he ever spoke to her. There was no answer that was waiting for him as the girl immediately jumped from her seat, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in, overwhelming him with the scent of wildflowers.

“How did you find me?” She asked into his neck, bringing goosebumps over his tanned skin.

“There’s been a lot of talk around town about a young lady running around in a wedding dress.” Eren chuckled, his arms tightening around her waist, the dress in question soft under his fingertips. “I took my chances.”

“I’m glad you did.” Y/N replied, her grin wide as she pulled him even closer towards her, if it were even possible.

“Care to explain to me why you left your own wedding?” Eren then asked, pulling himself away from her to look into her eyes, they were already filled with a mischief that felt far too familiar.

“I believe that you might already know.” She said, her lips curled up in a devious smile.

“I suppose you are right.” Eren smirked, clasping her hand in his own to brush his lips against her knuckles.

“Then it must be safe to assume that you followed me here for the same reason.” Y/N said, her skin tingling from the simple kiss.

“It is.” Eren nodded, his features falling into an expression that was much more serious.”And I’ve come to tell you that my heart still resides in your hands. I want to give you all that I am, body and soul. It’s yours. If you’ll have me?”

“And what would you want in return?” Y/N murmured, tilting her head up to brush her nose softly against Eren’s. A content sigh left his lips as she brought herself closer to him, she could feel his heart hammer against her own chest. Or maybe it was her own.

“Forgive me if I come across as selfish,” He whispered, his lips lightly brushing over hers with a whisper of a kiss, “But my heart will never be satisfied unless I have all that you are.”

“I’m already yours.”

Those were the last words spoken before Eren’s lips found Y/N’s in a searing kiss. Y/N sighed into his lips as he held onto her like she was his only solace. And just like that very first night, the two were lost within one another as the train slowly started to move and the world around them started to shift and change.

~~~

A/N: Phew!! she ran off with Eren! thank god!!! I apologize for the lack of smut, but this chapter was so freaking full of angst i didn’t know where i could add it, maybe maybe maaaaybe I’ll write an epilogue :)))) I hope you liked this last chapter!!!!!! Please feel free to message me about anything! I love you guys so much :)))))

Taglist:@the-princess-button@httpjaeg@tenaciouswritersheep@coyloves@erentoes

General Taglist: @the-princess-button@coyloves@prblmtic

Previous Chapter|

Eren as your BF headcanons

(feminine presenting reader but no pronouns)

sooo i was gonna write this out as a one shot but i have too much on my plate writing wise, so i thought bullet points would make this easier for all of us hehe anyways this is Eren as your bf obviously, my mind is on a constant cycle of romantic scenarios so this is what it’s like when he comes home to you (something that i think about wayyyy too often)

• so imagine you’re on the couch, lounging casually, reading a book, any book it can be your favorite book.
• it’s late afternoon so the sun is slowly slipping down towards the horizon giving your living room a nice golden glow
• there are bright green plants that litter the room, you’re lying on the most wonderfully soft velvet couch
• a playlist of classic love songs from the 50’s is playing in the background (i have this playlist if y’all want the link, it’s what helps me come up with most of my content lmao)
• anyways, you’re having a lovely time just reading, your knees propped up, your head resting on a cute throw pillow
• life is peaceful, life is good
• then the wonderful and familiar sound of a key in the lock sounds out into the room, the front door of your small apartment slowly opening to reveal your tired yet handsome boyfriend, Eren Jaeger
• you try to stifle your laughter but a soft chuckle bubbles up from your chest
• his features were twisted up in a pout, his button up already in a disarray from him loosening his tie,
• but then he saw you, on the couch and his face softens, his dark furrowed brows relaxing, his pink lips splitting into that crooked grin you’ve always loved
• he also chuckles softly at the sight of you, your long skirt splayed out across the couch, the colors of your skirt and the furniture match bc you always tend to buy things in your favorite color (he tends to tease you about this, always stating how he’ll one day loose you in a sea of your favorite color)
• he doesn’t say a word, just drops his bag on the wooden floor where it lands with a dull thud
• and then he immediately crawls on top of you
• he gently pulls the book free from your grasp, and throws it to the side, effectively loosing your spot, but you don’t complain. you’ve read it a thousand times
• instinctively your legs find themselves on either side of his hips, your skirt slowly slipping over your thighs exposing your smooth skin, he’s pressing into you so nicely and completely and it fills all of your senses up with this man
• one of Eren’s hands is already there on the plush skin of your thigh, his other arm slithering behind your head, his face already tucked into the crook of your neck, he’s dragging in your devine scent, which he’s become obsessed with over the years
• “how was your day, darling” you ask (i find that nickname so tender, but also don’t let me dictate the nicknames you give this man, call him whatever you want)
• he just groans against your skin, bringing goosebumps with the tickle of his breath
• “that bad, huh?” you laugh, running your fingers through his hair, he recently got it cut, but it’s already growing out, you’re kind of jealous of how fast this man’s hair grows
• “could be worse” he shrugs, and before you could ask how, his head pops up from its hiding place
• his lips find yours in a gentle kiss, he tastes like altoids mints, and you know it’s because he likes to keep a pack in the middle compartment of his car
• and just from his kiss and the taste of him you feel that deep primal ache in your core (you know the one i’m talking about, ;;;))) but you don’t make any moves bc he’s had a long day and you don’t want to attack him right off the bat!! (even though he looks so fucking hot in the golden sun, his tan skin practically glowing, his teal eyes shining)
• the kiss was short, but it doesn’t take long for him to dip his head down again, kissing you deeper
• he pulls a small whimper from you and you can feel him grin into the kiss
• “i love the little sounds you make when i kiss you” he murmurs into your lips, and you push on his chest softly causing him to pull back, he’s grinning still
• you pout bc you’re a little embarrassed but he just laughs and kisses you again and again and again until your pout disappears and the smile that brings him home everyday returns :)))

okay that was kind of corny… but i legitimately think about this scenario more often than i should and i just needed to write down some version of it.. i hope you enjoyed!! and if you have any little scenarios like this you wanna send in feel free!!!!!!! love you guys :)))

Eternity

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: War AU, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn

Summary: Would you love someone if your days are numbered? A tragic love story between a soldier who’s trying to find a purpose in life and a blind girl who is stripped away of her freedom.

Content Warnings: Graphic description of death and murder, sexual assault on women, oppression, physical abuse, alcohol consumption, swearing.

Word Count:25k+

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart

“You ever slept with a girl?”

A twenty-one-year-old boy, with eyes greener than the forest under the blazing sun, choked on his alcohol. It was his fifth time drinking one, but he never did it out of his own desire. Being a new soldier in the Marleyan army meant that he had to obey what his seniors ordered him to do. Whether it was to lay his weapon on his shoulder and chug on a bottle of vodka during duty, or behead a prisoner and watch their blood drenching the snow. The young soldier never had an option.

A soldier should not ask questions even when they are dying from curiosity. He had learned it the hard way during training. That was why he always pretended like he understood—and accepted—everything that was happening around him. That was just how the world naturally worked. The world was cruel. There was no beauty in it. Only those who had tossed away their hearts and conscience could survive. Have a heart and you’ll die before the next sunrise, that was what he was taught during his first month of service.

 The dark brown-haired boy, known by the name Eren Kruger, rubbed his nape. He had his shoulder-length hair cut short ever since he joined the army, giving him a fresh undercut look that failed to protect his nape from the winter breeze. His skin was sun-kissed but crimson still painted the tips of his ears, a sign that his body was sensitive to cold, even when he was dressed warmly in a thick beige coat—a Marleyan uniform that he wore with a proud look on his face and shame in his chest. Kruger was not his real surname but it was the name he had to get familiar with. 

Eren was one of the latest additions to the Marleyan army that “protected” their neighbor country, Eldian. At least, that was how he was told anyway. Deep down inside, he always had a different belief of his own. Marley wasn’t protecting the Eldians from other countries that wanted its minerals and natural resources. Marley was monopolizing Paradis and made it its slave for their benefit. But Eren knew better not to speak his thoughts aloud. He still valued his life too much, no matter how meaningless his life felt to him at the moment.

But then again, why must his life matter when people around him were dying just because they tried to find their sanctuaries? Why must he fill his life with laughter when children were getting beaten to the ground, their heads smashed under combat boots, just because they asked for more bread? 

The world was unfair, and Eren used to be scared of hell. But this… This life he was living at the moment… It already tasted like one. 

“Excuse me?” Eren tried to keep his voice down. Being in the middle of the winter season was already enough reason for his cheeks to bloom in the color of the evening sky. He did not need the older man to make him look even more flustered.

“I’m asking you, kid.” A man who was in his late thirties scratched the untrimmed beard on his chin. His name was Theo Magath, a strict commander of Eren’s division. Although he was nine centimeters shorter than the younger soldier, Magath was stronger and more experienced in every way. Eren feared him the most, though the other man regarded him as his new companion on battlefields. “Have you ever slept with a girl before?”

“Permission to speak freely, Sir?”

“Permission granted.”

Eren still hesitated, teeth nibbling against the inside of his cheeks. “Forgive me if I’m rude, but,” he cautiously spoke as he bowed down a little and returned the bottle to the older man. “I believe you’ve drunk too much of this.”

“And you’ve drunk too little,” the man said, his laugh boisterous when he pushed the alcohol to Eren’s chest. “Go drink up a little more.”

“But we’re on duty.”

“Yeah, to watch a bunch of teenagers collects those damn branches from the wood,” Magath scoffed. “I doubt they’re gonna start up a revolution any moment from now, so drink.”

“Sir—”

“Drink.”

The way mirth in his voice suddenly vanished almost sent shivers down his spine. Eren nodded, taking another sip. He knew his tolerance limit and he wouldn’t pass it. He only swallowed the liquid to be polite and perhaps, just to keep himself warm. He didn’t intend to be drunk like the older soldier.

“I haven’t,” Eren admitted with a quiet voice. “I haven’t… done it with anyone.”

“Thought so.” Magath chuckled. “When’s your birthday?”

“March thirtieth.”

“It’s still a couple of months from now, huh?” The man yawned loudly, and puffs of warm breaths appeared in the cold air. “Hey, why don’t we celebrate early? I’ll get you the best girl from our place. You can take a few hours off and have fun with her. Think of it as a birthday present from me.”

That place, Eren knew, was referring to the military brothel that was stationed at their campsite. On some nights, those girls came to visit their barracks and perform their duties as the Comfort Women to satisfy the soldiers’ needs. And any other times, officers would stand properly in line, waiting to enter one of the twenty rooms in the brothel to satisfy their sexual desire. 

It was always physical, nothing more and nothing less. They were used as toys—objects to fill the men’s thirsts. They were not prostitutes; they were forced to become one. Those young girls were kidnapped from the streets or, more often, deceived by the Marleyan government that they would get a better future if they worked for them. They ended up working as sex slaves—each person serving about a hundred military personnel per month, and if they weren’t cooperative, they would get beaten to death. 

Their bodies belonged to the army, raped and tortured.

Eren never came to visit that place. He hated it with all his heart, every nerve of his body shouting in disgust. And whenever those women came to their barracks, he would leave with his shotgun strapped to his back, disappearing into the woods. He preferred spending the night sorting out his thoughts near the frozen lake than forcing himself on some lady he didn’t know. Even the thought of it made him nauseous. It was wrong. Those women never deserved to be treated that way, but Eren was weak and powerless. There was nothing he could do.

“No, thank you,” Eren declined, feeling agitated all of a sudden. “I’m fine.”

“What, do you prefer men?”

“No, Sir. I just…” The boy took a deep breath, calming himself down and trying to sound less offensive. He put a lot of effort into not saying things like ‘I don’t want to commit more sins than I already have done’ or ‘it stands against my values to rape women, unlike you and the rest of immoral idiots here’. After a few seconds of battling inside his head, he decided to utter, “I just don’t feel like it.” 

It was safe. It was simple. It was a lie.

“You don’t feel like having sex?” Magath snorted, repulsed by the thought. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

It burned bright, the rage inside his chest. “I just don’t feel like raping someone, Sir.” Not until his sentence ended, did Eren realize that he was almost growling at the older man. His heart plummeted to his stomach. Immediately, he stood in front of his superior, performing a ninety-degree bow. “My deepest apologies, Commander! I was out of line! I will take any kind of punishment for my words!”

Something glinted in the older man’s eyes, but whatever it was, he decided to ignore it. “It’s fine,” Magath said and Eren bowed once more before he scooted back to his position. His heart was thumping loud behind his rib cages. 

The boy straightened his back and kept his eyes once more on a group of young Eldians, walking in line carrying twigs in their arms. Their jackets were much thinner if being compared to his, tattered with plenty of holes in them. And when Eren wore a warm, fur hat to protect his hair from snowflakes, they had none. The young soldier felt sorry for them, but it seemed like he was the only one with empathy in this place. 

There was a little boy, with cheeks red and scratched by the falling snow, struggling to keep his wobbly feet on the ground. He was carrying more branches than his little arms could handle. The weight was too much and the snow was too deep for him to walk on and he fell, his face hitting piles of ice. The twigs he carried scattered everywhere. He was frustrated but he didn’t cry. Eren was amazed.

But then a soldier came over, slamming the end of his gun to the little boy’s head and screaming at him to get up. He hit him again, and again, and again until Eren could see the tear on his skin, fresh blood dripping down from the side of his temple.

Eren’s hold on his gun tightened.

“Careful, kid,” Magath reminded him, his voice as eerie as the night during an eclipse. Eren shuddered, but not from the cold. “You’re a kind young man, I know that much. But your kind values are the ones that are going to get you killed someday.”

Eren turned his head to look at the man, his eyes weren’t blinking. “Sir…?”

“Listen to me.” Magath locked his eyes with the soldier and Eren felt like he was being choked instead. “These Eldian people are vicious. That little boy you see there may look hopeless now, but he was ready to stab Galliard’s neck with a fork just to get more food less than a week ago. And women, especially, are even more dangerous. They betray us. They won’t hesitate to kill us in our sleep. We can’t trust them, Eren.”

Eren stayed still, though his mind was screaming: but we’re not that better either.

“They don’t deserve to be treated like people,” Magath continued, “Treat them like toys. You don’t share feelings with toys, do you? You play with them.”

Eren swallowed, his throat felt like it was made of sand. “And what do I do when I get bored with them, Sir?” the boy asked because that was what the man wanted to hear. Theo Magath didn’t want to witness kindness, sincerity, or mercy. He, just like any other soldiers here, craved power, grief, and lust.

Magath smiled, his eyes shimmering like a proud father’s. 

“Then, it’s time to throw them away.”

***

Eren jolted awake when he heard a man screaming. He didn’t realize that he had fallen asleep for a few seconds on his feet, swallowed by the boredom of seeing the constant movements of young men collecting dry branches to build campfires that night. His head spun toward the source, his chest tightening at the sight. There, a few meters away from him, stood a very tall, well-built Marleyan soldier with short, coarse-looking dark hair that reached to his neck. A thin beard decorated his jawline, his smirk was nothing but menacing. His name was Kenny Ackerman.

He loomed tall as he beat a young man—who was probably around Eren’s age—to the cold, freezing ground. The branches fell out of the boy’s arms, meeting the earth almost without a sound. A splotch of blood spilled from his mouth when Kenny landed a harsh kick on his stomach, painting the snow like angry lipstick smeared on a blank canvas. His light ash-brown hair was falling over his eyes, concealing them.

Kenny Ackerman was his senior, but even if he weren’t, Eren still wouldn’t dare to stop him. That man was twice his size, with arms strong enough to break his wrists in seconds. Eren’s mind was telling him to not lift a muscle—that if he tried to stop the older man from beating the boy to death, he would meet his end that day as well. But his heart was thumping loud, sending a rush of adrenaline to course through his veins. He was old enough to know better, but his body was filled with young blood. Before he knew it, Eren made a step forward. It was probably his luck when another male appeared, kneeling in front of the soldier to beg for forgiveness.

It was another Eldian, as old as Eren was but seemed five times younger in appearance. He had a mop of golden hair, his body was frail and not as tall as the boy he was protecting. For a split second, Eren caught a glimmer of his irises. They were cerulean, as deep as the bottomless sea, as bright as the cloudless sky. 

“Please let me explain,” he pleaded with two hands surrendering in the air, beseeching for mercy. “It was just a misunderstanding. My brother meant no harm.”

But Kenny Ackerman was not known for being kind. He was famous for being ruthless, the death reaper of the army who enjoyed robbing the light of his victim’s eyes. While Eren had never taken a life before—be it the Eldians or Marleyan soldiers who assaulted him by pushing him down into a frozen lake in the middle of the night—Kenny had killed hundreds. Eren knew that for a fact, because for every kill he did, that man carved a line on his barrack’s wall. The lines had become so many that Eren couldn’t see the original color of the wall anymore.

Kenny grasped the blonde-haired boy by his neck, lifting his hand until his feet could no longer touch the ground. His blue eyes started to water, croaking in pain as his fingers clawed frantically against the soldier’s wrist.  

“That fucking brat tried to take a sip of my coffee,” Kenny bellowed, nudging his head to the other Eldian who was lying on the ground, his blood pooling in his mouth. “You think I can forgive him just like that?”

The boy coughed, pale skin turning scarlet as he was smothered by his large hand. His feet erratically moved in the air, trying to find a ground to stand on while his lungs were screaming for air. He was choking, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. A few seconds more and it would be over. A few seconds more then his blue eyes wouldn’t glimmer as radiantly. They would be dark. Hollow. Dead.

But Kenny had a change of heart. Instead of murdering him, the violent man tossed him back to the ground.

“Armin…” The other boy—the Eldian who Armin tried to protect so desperately—called, reaching out a hand to touch his brother who was gasping loudly. Eren felt a shiver running through his spine when he heard him speak in his Eldian language. It was clear that the Marleyan government had declared that all Eldians should abandon their mother tongue. They were only allowed to speak in Marleyan or to not speak at all. Break this rule and you would be starved for two days. Do it again and you’d have your tongue cut off. Hearing how he just spoke to his brother in his native language, Eren thought of two things: it was either he was rebelling or just plain stupid. 

Surely, that word had consequences. Eren wasn’t surprised when the Eldian boy received another blow to his stomach.

What he didn’t expect, however, was when Armin slapped his hand away. “Jean!” he screamed. “Know your place!”

Jean looked like he stopped breathing for a second. So many things appeared in his eyes: from being confused to afraid until it finally ended with redeemed anger. Slowly, and painfully, Jean crawled to his stomach and pressed his forehead to the ground, bowing to his punisher.

“I’m sorry,” Jean muttered, his voice quavering and Eren knew that it wasn’t from the fear. It was from the wrath he tried to bottle inside his chest. Eren also noticed that tears were lining down his cheeks, but his sobs couldn’t be heard, muted by his gritted teeth. It was an agonizing sight to behold.

Armin kneeled next to him, imitating his posture, bowing deeply until his forehead met the ground. “Please, Sir… Show us some mercy…”

Kenny guffawed, looking delighted for the power he had over them. He placed one foot on Jean’s head, pressing it down until he screamed when the skin on his forehead broke and bled. “I can’t hear you, little boy,” the soldier said, his smile growing wider. “Come on, apologize some more. I’m sure even pigs like you can do it.”

Eren felt his heart stir. His hold around his shotgun was getting tighter, his nails turning white.

Panic painted Armin’s face as he watched Jean’s blood seeping through the snow. “S-sir,” he crawled forward, latching one hand against Kenny’s boots. “Let him go—"

“Don’t touch me!” Kenny kicked his face and Armin fell to his side, shaky hands covering his torn lip.

“I’m sorry!” Jean, unable to contain the agony, screamed. “I said I’m sorry, so please!” He sobbed, his face sinking in the snow. “Please let us go…”

Kenny released him with a satisfied grin. “Listen to your big brother, little boy,” he said, spitting on Jean’s limp body. “Know your place.” He took his leave with his chin tilted up in arrogance.

The ruckus ended there. The two boys were still lying helplessly on the ground, trying to catch their breaths and steady their hearts. The crowd around them—another bunch of powerless Eldians—tried to not pay attention to them even when their hands were itching to help. They continued walking with their heads hung low, hugging the branches close to their chest like they were ordered to before the sun sank below the horizon.

Eren felt sick. Everything was wrong. The world was not supposed to roll like this. It wasn’t supposed to resemble hell. 

The young soldier walked with hurried steps toward the boys. He was the only one who was brave enough to examine their conditions. Jean, head raised in suspicion, scowled at him when he was close enough. He was like a cornered wolf, a raging flame in his eyes even his whole body was aching. Eren did not mind his anger. He had expected it.

Armin, on the other hand, was simply cautious. “Sir.” He bowed to Eren as he did to Kenny before, with his palms and forehead pressed against the ice. His voice was still quivering, his shoulders shaking both from pain and fear.

“Stand up,” Eren commanded, not too loud, not too firm. “Stand up and hide before the others come to check on you.”

Armin lifted his head, gazing at him with confusion in his eyes. “But…” His gaze shifted to the pile of branches that were scattered on the ground. “T-the branches—I haven’t finished—”

“I’ll tell them you’re done for the day.” He picked the other man up by his arm. “What’s your name?”

Armin tucked his chin down, anxious. “A-Armin Arlert, Sir…”

Eren took an old handkerchief from his pocket—one that his mother gave him during his departure—and handed it to the boy. “Here.”

The shorter boy blinked in bewilderment, perhaps contemplating whether Eren was just playing tricks on him. “S-sir?”

“To wipe your blood,” Eren explained, observing the deep cut on the corner of his mouth. “Don’t use your clothes, you’ll get germs on the wound.”

Armin’s shaky eyes searched his, wanting to decipher what was hidden between them but Eren kept his face guarded. “Y-yes, Sir, thank you…”

“I assume that’s your brother?”

Armin helped Jean return to his feet. “Yes. His name is Jean.”

“All right.” Eren tried to put on a reassuring smile. It was so rare to see a Marleyan soldier smile in such a benign way that it left the two boys stunned. “Armin, I want you to pick up your brother and find someplace safe to spend the night. There’s a lake two kilometers away from here. Keep walking south and you’ll find it. It’s safe, I’m the only one who knows that place. No one will find us over there. Sneak out an hour before dawn. There are fewer guards during that time. I’ll bring you guys some food.”

Jean, who was not as kind and trusting as his brother was, sent him a vicious glare. “Why should we trust you?” he bitterly asked. “Why should we believe that this isn’t just a sick plan of yours to get us killed?” 

“Jean,” Armin called, his tone demanding silence from the other man. “Behave.”

“Because if I really wanted to kill you,” Eren replied. “You’d be dead by now.” 

Jean didn’t look so assured but his eyes did flash toward the shotgun that Eren held in his hand. His fingers were nowhere near the trigger.

“Go clean up your wounds,” Eren reminded, “If you’re too late, there’s a possibility you’ll get infected. Medicine is scarce around here, even so for Eldians.”

Although he was better at masking it, Armin still seemed stupefied from receiving this kind of treatment, especially coming from one of the Marleyan’s soldiers. “But we—”

“We don’t have time to argue,” Eren cut him short, only then did he sound stern. He needed to step away right now before he raised any kind of suspicion. “Just do as I say and keep yourself safe. Please.”

And then he left, leaving the two boys with frowns breaking on their faces.

For the first time in his life, Eren felt good.

For the first time in his life, he finally knew how it felt like to be human.

***

“So your name’s Jean?” Eren questioned as he gave him enough food to keep the boy alive for another day. Jean’s intense light brown eyes shimmered in delight when his nose caught a whiff of bread. His stomach growled, begging for attention.

“Don’t call me that,” he snapped back, taking the loaf of bread without saying a word of gratitude. He took a huge bite, chewing loudly as he muttered, “I don’t want a Marleyan calling my name. That’s fucking disgusting.”

“But you’re eating the food I gave you.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m sorry,” Armin joined in, sighing at his sibling’s behavior. “He has no manners whatsoever.”

“I do have manners,” Jean corrected, licking his thumb from the breadcrumbs. “But unlike you, I just don’t feel like playing a goody two shoes around those fuckers, including him.”

Eren, weirdly, found his attitude amusing rather than insulting. “Still don’t trust me yet, do you?”

Jean didn’t even spare him a glance. He strolled away, taking a seat at the edge of the frozen lake, picking up pebbles and throwing them aimlessly.

“Jean isn’t always like this, you know,” Armin said, scooting closer to the brunette. They were both out of Jean’s hearing. The blonde male thanked him when Eren pushed a bottle of vodka in his direction. He might not like the taste of it, but it did a great job at keeping his body warm. “He used to be all fun and cheery.”

But now he’s bitter and spiteful. “Him? Cheery?” Eren almost chuckled. “Doesn’t seem like it fits.”

“He was annoying but… Kind.”

The melancholy in Armin’s voice made him wonder. “I guess everybody changed during the war, huh?” And not for the better, Eren mused, turning pensive. Including me.

Armin looked up and saw how the sky was faintly painted with a light shade of red and orange. Maybe they still had a little time to talk before the sun came up and they had to return to reality. “Jean and I aren’t families by blood,” he said, his voice a bit hollow, just like his stare. “But to me, he feels like one. We’ve been best friends since forever so I always thought of him as my sibling. We were neighbors, that was how we knew each other. One day, as we were walking back from school, a group of Marleyan soldiers entered our block and killed everyone in sight. I thought something happened. I thought we were punished. But these men… they were laughing. I got fifteen, I got twenty, they said, counting the bodies. They were playing games.”

It was horrifying, he thought, the fact that these soldiers murdered people for fun. But it wasn’t as eerie as the way Armin retold the story—empty eyes staring far away into the night, his soul breaking with every word he spoke. But his voice was steady. Emotionless. He was numb. The tiny hairs on Eren’s nape rose in dread but he kept his lips shut and his ears perked up.

“I invited Jean and his mother into my home since we had a basement we could use as a hiding place,” Armin continued, hugging his knees to his chest, sniffling from the cold. Eren wanted to steal some clothes for him to wear, but it would be impossible for other soldiers not to notice him. “We thought we were safe there when suddenly, two soldiers broke through our front door. Our parents tried to buy us some time to run away and his mother trusted me with her son’s life. I was only ten back then, Jean was just as young. But she thought I was smarter, that I would find a way to keep her son safe. But I was so frightened, I couldn’t think. I couldn’t do anything. So I hid in a closet with Jean plastered against me, and we waited until the soldiers went away. I remember how tightly we pressed our hands against our ears because we knew things wouldn’t end well. It only took a few minutes, three gunshots, and a train of laughter coming from the Marleyan men. Then it was all… silence.” Armin breathed deeply. “The next thing we knew, when we stepped down from the closet, our feet were soaked in our parents’ blood. And we covered our mouths as we cried. We didn’t make a sound. ”

Eren sat frozen. He never had the chance to console someone before, and he wasn’t certain whether Armin needed one. Unsure of what to say, he murmured, “I’m sorry.”

Armin smiled, warm as the sunlight. “Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.” He took the bottle from the soldier’s hand, taking another chug. “I’m sorry for rambling like this. What I’m trying to say is that… Jean used to be happy. He was a nice kid, but losing people you love tends to do that to you”

They both went quiet. Armin spent his time staring at Jean’s back, who was now trying to make small cracks on the edge of the lake. Eren, on the other hand, was busy trying to process all of the information he just received.

“Don’t look so sad,” Armin chastised gently. “I didn’t tell you my story so I could be pitied. I shared about my past so you’d realize that even after all these things that happened, Jean and I are still here. Alive and breathing. And it’s partially because of you.”

“Me?” Eren asked, startled. “I barely did anything.”

Armin gave him a knowing look. “I saw you back then. When that guy was strangling me, I saw you holding your gun like you were ready to shoot him. And a part of me believed that if he did hurt me more than that, you would’ve pulled the trigger for me.”

Eren turned scarlet. He wasn’t aware that he did that. Did his body move on its own?

“Am I wrong,” Armin took a closer look at the name sewed on his clothes. “Kruger?”

“Eren is fine,” the soldier said, not liking his Marleyan’s name. Ever since his mother got remarried to a Marleyan man, he was forced to change his family name. It had happened a few years back but he still hadn’t grown accustomed to it.

“You don’t look like a Marleyan to me,” Armin commented. His eyes were scrutinizing Eren’s appearance within every detail, but they were gentle, just like how he spoke.

“My parents were Eldians,” Eren said, a faint sad smile sketched upon his lips as he recalled his past. “My dad died in an accident a couple of years after I was born, and then my mother got remarried to a Marleyan guy. It happened way back before the war. For protection, my mother and I decided to change our names into his family name and pretended that we were Marleyan since birth.”

Armin listened intently. He stayed voiceless for a few seconds until he said, “And so you’re on their side now.”

Eren stiffened, every bit of his movements coming to a halt. 

Was that true? Was that where his loyalty stood?

“Sorry,” the other boy hurriedly said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m trying to choose a better option,” Eren quietly answered. “Even when I belong to the Marleyan army, I still think that this is not the way it should be. Being a Marleyan doesn’t mean we’re better than the Eldians. We don’t have the right to abuse, steal, or kill. I—” he realized that he was talking in one breath, his chest felt suffocating. “I just want to change how the world works, but I don’t know how. I’m in no such position to make amends.”

Armin gazed at him with too much going on behind his eyes and Eren wondered whether that was a bad thing or a good thing.

“What’s your name then?” Armin queried. His smile was so delicate, so genuine, and juvenile. “Your Eldian name?”

“Jaeger…” Eren licked his lower lip nervously. It had been a long time since he last spoke it out loud. “Eren Jaeger.”

Armin grinned widely and offered him his hand. Eren took it, a bit awkward as he was not used to having friendly interactions with people. “Nice to meet you, Eren Jaeger.” Armin shook his hand. His smile was a contagious disease. “It’s nice to see that there are still hopes left in humanity.”

The soldier froze for a few seconds before his face warmed in a smile. 

“Likewise, Armin.”

***

“Eren!” Armin wrapped his arms around his shoulders the moment they met by the lake again. Several nights had passed by and Eren breathed in relief to know that he looked pretty much the same as when he last saw him. “How have you been, my friend?”

“I’ve been well,” Eren answered, smiling lightly at him as they broke their hug. Jean Kirstein came trailing after him with a familiar scowl in his eyes. 

Eren smirked, tossing him a few loaves of bread, along with a fresh bottle of water. “Here you go, Horseface.” They had become close enough to make fun of each other during conversations.

“These aren’t poisoned, right?” Jean asked with an ungrateful tone.

Eren rolled his eyes. “I’ve brought you food for like five times by now and you still ask me that.”

“I was just being careful.”

He snorted in response and Armin laughed, patting the soldier’s back. “Come on and sit with us,” the most affectionate man among them offered kindly. “There’s a lot I want to talk about.”

While Jean was the more unsociable one, Armin was quite talkative and possibly nicer than anyone Eren had ever met. He loved to share his thoughts—mostly about the sea and the sky—and his hopes for a better world. Eren found it refreshing that in a gloomy place like this, he could find someone who was truly visionary and imaginative enough to light up the place with his presence.

“I wish I could marry someone someday, you know?” Armin said, lying on the ground with his arms folded under his head. His eyes twinkled, reflecting the stars in the sky, while his brother was busily munching on his bread with loud noises.

“Armin, that’s not gonna happen,” Jean commented and Eren laughed because while Armin and he usually spoke in the Marleyan language, Jean always talked in his native one.

“What do you mean it’s not gonna happen?” Armin pouted, making him look even younger. “I think I could find a nice woman for me one day.”

“We can’t even find enough food to live by tomorrow if this prick weren’t here to help us.”

Eren shook his head in amusement when Jean rudely pointed at him. Days had passed by and Jean still insisted on calling him with any derogatory term he could come up with instead of his name. “Always glad to help, buddy,” Eren joked, which earned him another glare from the tall boy.

Armin poked his brother by the stomach. “Which is why you should be more grateful toward Eren, you idiot.”

Jean scoffed, continuously glowering at the soldier as he took a large sip of his water. “This is the least he could do for us, Armin. Those fuckers took our families away, remember?”

“Jean,” Armin called, exhaling heavily as he sat up. He sounded a bit more enervated than usual. “Eren is different. Don’t put him on the same page—”

“He’s not different!” He harshly barked and Eren wished Jean could stop speaking like he wasn’t there. “This bastard belongs to the army! He’s not our friend, Armin! He will never be! All Marleyans deserve to die and so does he!”

Eren was stricken aback. Was that how Jean really thought of him? Just another heartless Marleyan with no soul? Even after all that time they spent together?

“Jean!” Armin scolded, his forehead creasing in anger. “You take that back and apologize to him!”

“If he could bring my mother back from the dead,” Jean said, standing up on his feet. “I’d forgive him.”

Armin could only open his mouth but he couldn’t speak. He noticed that the other man was crying when he pivoted on his heel, walking away with a storm raging in his chest. And Armin wondered whether it was from pain, anger, or suppressed frustration. Perhaps everything at once.

“God, I’m sorry,” Armin apologized, returning his gaze to Eren. “You know he doesn’t mean what he said.”

Eren only replied to him with a smile but his heart was shattered.

He didn’t know that he had to take responsibility for the things he didn’t do.

***

“First time?” A Marleyan officer asked Eren with a teasing look in his eyes.

Eren swallowed thickly, trying hard to will himself not to blush as he nodded and stored his gun away inside his locker. The other man snickered, leaning his back against the wall as he spoke to Eren with his arms crossed on his chest.

“I still remember my first time,” he sneered and Eren only listened half-heartedly, showing no emotion. He felt revolted watching these Marleyan soldiers walking past him with arrogance and dirty looks on their faces. How could they laugh so easily after they forced these poor women to satisfy their needs? How could they just throw them away without feeling any remorse or offering a single form of gratitude?

“My friend forced me to do this,” Eren said and he didn’t know why he needed to explain it. Perhaps he just wanted to give himself a chance to redeem the guilt of the sin he was about to commit.

“Ah,” the man slurred, his slanty eyes twinkling. “You all rookies said that at first. But when you’ve done it once, you could never stop. Before you know it, you’re gonna want to fuck them every day, believe me.”

Eren’s fingers balled into fists and he had to put his hands on his back to keep them away from showing. The young soldier only tossed him a smile, not revealing the rage that bubbled inside his chest.

“Shall we get in line, then?” The officer asked with a wink and Eren tried not to slam his cocky head against the wall. Fucking piece of shit.

Eren took the stairs, marching toward the second floor of the military brothel, as the first floor was inhabited by the more ‘experienced’ prostitutes to serve the noblemen in the Marleyan government. As soon as he stepped into the hallway, Eren was met by twenty soldiers already lining up, one soldier for each door. There were ten rooms there in total—each one consisted of a bed and a bathroom for the comfort women to clean themselves up after ‘serving’ their bodies for twenty to thirty men a day. 

Eren held his breath down for a few seconds so he wouldn’t vomit. This place was sickening.

“I’d wait to get into that room if I were you,” the previous Marleyan officer said, pointing at the door that stood at the end of the hallway. “She’s a total beauty and doesn’t scream much when we do it with her. You’ll like her.”

As much as he wanted to punch that man, Eren knew his position. He smiled, nodded, and bowed before he followed his direction. He took a deep breath.

Let’s just get this over with.

He waited for about ten minutes before a man came out from the room he chose. Eren recognized him instantly. Kenny Ackerman. The same man who almost killed Jean and Armin a few weeks ago just by the strength of his foot. Another bile of rage started to pile in his chest but Eren channeled it down to a polite bow. The taller man zipped his pants, and smirked at the tanned boy before he walked away with his chin held up high.

“Have fun with that whore, brat,” that soldier said and Eren sank his fingers to his palms to keep his fists to himself.

For now, he had to think about something else.

He drew in a long breath, and he did it one more time to stop his heart from racing before he circled his fingers around the doorknob. He turned it open.

The moment he entered the room, his eyes scanned the place for a brief second like how he was trained in war—to always know your surroundings well, they said. Eren noticed the broken wooden chair in the corner of the room. He saw how the dirty bathroom had no sink and no door—only a small tub with soiled water and a piss pot. He noticed how the bed was big enough for two people but it had no pillows or blanket. The sheets were crumpled and the white color had turned into a dirty shade of cream, with splotches of red. And he knew for a fact that those stains on the sheet weren’t just made from blood.

But his eyes stopped moving when he saw a woman lying on the bed with not a single fabric covering her nudity. Eren quickly averted his gaze from the sight, even though all he could see was her back. In that short moment, he managed to notice the purple bruises blooming along her spine, tainting her skin with dry blood. 

For a few seconds, he could hear soft sobs coming from the girl’s lips. And when he secretly glanced, he noted how her shoulders were shaking as she hugged her knees to her chest. He didn’t let his eyes linger on her body for too long. He felt like he was being disrespectful to her. Eren knew his friends would’ve laughed at the way he behaved, but he couldn’t force himself to stare even if he wanted to.

The young soldier closed the door behind him and with that small thud, the girl immediately froze. Her sobs were muffled and contained, and slowly, she turned her body around until she was lying on the bed with her eyes on the ceiling.

Eren brought his head down, not wanting to witness any more curves of her body. But before that, he spotted how wet her eyes were and how hollow they looked. Those weren’t the eyes of someone who had the will to continue living. Those were the eyes of the defeated, who were willing to sacrifice their lives just so they could stop living in this rotten world.

“Do it,” she said, her body lying limp on the bed. “What are you waiting for?”

He was petrified to the bones. His mind stopped working.

Eren’s heart thundered vehemently behind his chest. He couldn’t do this. There was no way he could do this. He never even wanted to in the first place, but an order was an order. They were alone in the room. Magath wouldn’t be able to tell, would he? Eren could just pretend.

That’s right, he thought. I’ll just have to pretend.

And so, he said, “Cover up.”

The woman’s lifeless eyes grew a bit wide but only for a second before she smiled understandingly. “Ah,” she said, “So, you’re that type, huh?”

Eren frowned, not knowing what she meant and he blushed when she pushed herself up to sit on the bed. “What’s next?” she asked, not looking ashamed of showing her nude body to the man. She kept her eyes in his direction, but her stare was blank as if she wasn’t looking at him, but through him. “Do you want me to bend over too, Sir? Begging you to give it to me?”

“That’s not—” Eren blurted out, face aflame. “Lady, please cover yourself up. I’m not going to do this with you.”

Her smile faltered. “What?”

“I mean,” Eren sighed, turning himself around to face the door. It was troubling to be in the same room with a lady who was so stripped of her conscience that she could no longer care about wearing proper clothes. “I am not going to have sex with you. I’m just going to be here for a while before I go out so they’ll think I’m…” His blush smeared his cheeks. “…doing it with you.”

“You…” Her voice had lost its confidence, and instead of pain and disappointment, he began to hear hopes in her soft voice. “You’re not going to do it with me?”

“No, I’m not,” he said. “So, please… Put on your clothes.”

The atmosphere was thick with heavy tension and pregnant silence. Eren continued to stay mute, only trying to listen to the rustling sounds she’d make when she placed back her robe. Except, there were none.

“Have you dressed properly?” Eren asked, sounding a bit restless.

“I…” She fell quiet before she continued again. “I can’t find my robe.”

His eyebrows sewed together in confusion, knowing well that her robe was lying on the floor, just beside her bed. How could she not see it?

Then recognition dawned on his face.

Those lifeless eyes. That blank stare.

Eren turned around, facing her again and it seemed like she heard the sound of his shoes sliding against the floor. With her body jolting in alert, she hastily wrapped her arms around her front. Eren didn’t let his gaze travel anywhere else but her eyes.

“You’re…” he spoke, lips parted in shock. “You’re blind?” It was more like a statement than a question but whatever it was, that line gave more sense of peril to her.

“Which is something I should be grateful for,” she said, smiling again as if it was the only way she knew to keep her mind sane. “Considering how many demons are walking around this place.” It was an act, Eren noted, a way for her to appear resilient. Fearless, even when her fingers were shaking.

 Eren chewed on his lower lip. That sentence couldn’t be any truer.

Cautiously, he took a step forward and she jerked, pulling herself back in reflex. Eren understood then. She spoke like she was used to this kind of treatment, but she was just a girl, scared to her bones. She acted like she was strong, but deep inside, she was probably even more fragile than the first time she was abducted and brought to this place.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Eren spoke, loud enough for her ears to hear but not soft enough for her to stop being terrified of him. “I promise you with my life, I will not hurt you.”

“That sounds like a lot of promise coming from a Marleyan soldier,” she retorted, sounding like she was amused by it but she was not fooling anyone but herself.

“I’m not lying,” the boy said, taking another step and she inhaled sharply. Eren stopped, raising both hands in the air as if he was surrendering. “I’m just… I’m just going to fetch your robe back to you, okay?”

Her lower lip still trembled but she didn’t do or say anything.

Eren kept his eyes to the ground as he walked forward to collect her robe. She kept fidgeting on the bed until she felt soft fabric hugging her from behind. She touched the robe, releasing a shuddering breath at the familiar sense of comfort it gave to her skin.

“Put it on.” Eren’s voice was soft and tender. He kept his eyes glued to her face. “It’s probably only for a few minutes before somebody comes in and takes my place but…” His lips still curved, forming a reassuring smile even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “As long as I’m with you here, you’re safe.”

You’re safe… The words echoed in her mind, tugging upon her heartstring. Was there a moment in her life when someone gave those words to her?

Her eyes grew wide and when Eren retrieved his hand, she reached out and clamped her frail fingers tightly around his wrist. His breath hitched in his throat, stunned.

For a few seconds, they just stood there like that. One of his eyebrows was raised in confusion but he didn’t ask questions. He knew she was doing something. He just couldn’t tell what.

“You…” she breathed out, looking up at him with eyes that were too beautiful to be functionless. “You’re not lying…”

Eren blinked twice before his realization sank in. She had been checking on his pulse.

He smiled, affection growing on him. She was smart and cautious. He didn’t even think of that and he was a trained soldier, albeit still new. 

“I’m not lying,” he assured her once again. “Can you trust me?”

She swallowed and let him go. Careful not to make any sudden movement, he kneeled in front of her and wrapped the robe properly around her body without letting his gaze drift south. Eren’s cheeks were burning bright but at least he managed to stop his fingers from shaking.

“You’re okay,” he whispered, and her eyes searched his face as if she was taking every bit of his appearance, though he knew that was not the case. “You’re safe with me.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, turning them white. Then, she nodded. Eren was about to sigh in relief when her whole body convulsed. She covered her mouth with one hand and she cried. Hard.

The girl who tried to cover her fear, the girl who acted bravely as she stood against the world, broke apart in front of him.

“Thank you…” she sobbed into her hand, her visionless eyes shutting tightly in gratefulness. “Thank you, Sir… Thank you…”

It felt different than the way Armin thanked him—similar, only her words brought a lot more joy to his heart than he had ever felt in his twenty-one years of living. 

He could feel his heart beating. He could feel it race. 

He felt alive.

***

“So how did it go?” Theo Magath asked his companion as he rubbed his fingers together to keep himself away from the cold. “Did you like your early birthday gift?”

His scowl almost found its way to his face but he managed to catch himself at the last second. “Yes, Sir. But I’d appreciate it more if we don’t discuss it any further—if that’s alright with you.”

“What, are you shy?” The older man sneered. “Fuck, Kruger, you’re no longer a damn virgin so stop acting like one.”

Eren let the matter drop. His seniors could think whatever they wanted to. It wouldn’t matter to him anyway. 

“So, what now? Are you going to pay another visit to the brothel?”

“Yes,” Eren said, startling the other man with his answer but he kept his smile to himself. Perhaps next time, he could bring one of his old sleeping shirts for her. It would at least be warmer than just a layer of a maroon satin robe.

“That’s my boy!” Magath clapped him on the back. “Already wanting for more, huh?”

Eren sheepishly smiled, doing his part of acting. Though the joy that bloomed in his chest was too real to be faked. Eren brought his hand up and his eyes lingered on the skin along his wrist—on the spot where she touched him. He remembered the way she thanked him and it bloomed again. The rush of happiness suffused his chest. A spark of joy from being able to give someone a chance to learn that life was an adventure worth living for.

***

Eren knocked on the familiar wooden door and opened it without waiting too long for permission. If he had waited, it would only raise suspicions from the fellow soldiers that were waiting in line after him. He couldn’t afford that to happen.

“Good evening,” Eren greeted, bowing a little to the lady in front of him. He felt a bit silly as he knew she couldn’t see. “It’s, umm… It’s me again. From the other day.”

The girl’s body went still and her expression showed that she was putting on her defensive demeanor. She kept her ears ready, trying to decipher if the soldier who let her go the other day was really as kind as she thought he was.

“Why are you here?” she asked, almost too coldly to his ears. “You said you didn’t want to sleep with me.”

“That’s right,” Eren smiled. “I only came here to talk.”

“Talk?” she repeated, covering her body with her robe and Eren blushed when he caught his eyes dancing along the curve of her waist. “What do you want to talk about, Soldier? How to use women for pleasure?”

It wasn’t like her spiteful words didn’t hurt him. They did. But he didn’t want to let it show. “You should have more respect for yourself,” Eren said and she almost growled. He gulped. Did I say something wrong?

“Respect?” She snapped. “You want to talk about respect? My mother sold me here to get enough money to stay rich for the rest of her life. I have to sleep with more than twenty men a day just so I could get some food to live through the night. And when I wanted to die, they stripped me out of my clothes and hung me outside for everyone to see how low I’d become. You want to talk about respect? That’s the respect your people gave to me!”

Every word that came out of her mouth felt like a javelin piercing through his chest. But Eren knew well that she had no other way of channeling her anger and frustration. A few days ago, she thanked him for the few minutes of break and forgiveness. Now, she realized that it wouldn’t contribute much to easing her pain so she broke apart once again. It wasn’t fair that she lashed out at him, she knew that too. But when you can’t even stop your own feelings from hurting yourself, would you care about theirs?

She was breathing hard, her chest heaving up and down.

After waiting a few seconds in silence, he softly asked, “Are you finished?”

She bit the inside of her cheek, hot angry tears streaming down her face. He wanted to brush them away with his thumb but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. “I am not good with words,” Eren diffidently uttered, “And I don’t know if you would accept my apology on behalf of my country, but…”

Eren slid down to his knees, making a dull thud sound once they met the floor. He bowed down to her, his forehead pressed against the floor. “I beg for your forgiveness,” he said, eyes shut closed. “I apologize for the actions my country has done to you. You don’t deserve this. None of you do. I am in no position to grant you anything to pay back for the suffering you’ve endured. I don’t have permission to let you go, no matter how much I want to take you away from here. I am weak. I’m powerless. All I could do right now is bow my head down to you, ashamed and filled with guilt, hoping that you could forgive me, and—” He paused, a bit out of breath. “To ask you for… one thing.”

Her breathing was ragged and Eren lifted his head to gaze into her eyes.

“I want you to continue living,” he stated, and he could see the little jolt her body made, startled by his line. “I will not say that your life will be easy. I will not say that happiness will come to you by the end of this day or tomorrow. But I can promise you one thing: if you keep on living, I will try within my power to make some moments in your life, even if they are just measured in minutes or seconds, worth living for.”

She felt weak, her taut muscles loosening as she released the air she’d been holding. She closed her eyes, two droplets of tears falling to her cheeks.

“I will visit you every day.” Eren’s voice was like honey, sweet and comforting. “I will stay here if you want me to. I will read you books to keep you entertained. I will guard the door so you can have a few minutes of sleep. I will be your eyes and I will tell you when the cherry blossoms trees are blooming. I will describe the color of the sky and I will try every day for the rest of my life to find a way to release you from this place.”

“Why?” she asked, a crack in her voice. “Why would you do that for me?”

“Because ever since I met you,” Eren began and he could feel himself smiling. “I feel like I’ve found my chance to do something good for people, even if it was just only for a little. I saw how grateful you were when I let you go a few days ago. And I felt this joy spreading in my chest—so much that it scared me, and I want to feel that again. I want to make you feel that again. And that was the very reason why I’m doing this. Not only for you but for myself too.”

And she didn’t have to check on his wrist this time to know that he wasn’t lying.

***

This is the fifth time I’ve seen her and yet, she still appears to be scared of me. As if she still doubts my intention.

When I walk into her room, she seems to remember the sound of my steps. Her face is still guarded, her lips not forming a word. But she’s no longer angry or sad. She’s just there. 

Breathing. 

And living.

And that’s all I could ask for now.

***

“Soldier…” She called out with half-lidded eyes. Another week had gone by, or maybe even two, she could not tell. But he had visited her often enough for her to recognize his footsteps the second he walked into her chamber. Her wrists were still bruised from her previous encounter with a man who smirked wickedly when he exited her room. Eren had never felt so vexed with someone as he was back then.

He closed the door behind him, stepping closer to her spot. “I’m here.” He kneeled beside the bed, waiting for her to speak more. She was lying on her back, weak and breathless. Her voice sounded so hoarse as if her vocal cord was about to snap. Eren heard her painful screams before and every memory carved more scars on his heart.

“I’m sorry…” He lowered his head, unfamiliar with the pain. His teeth were cutting into his lower lip, his emotions churned like a hurricane. “I’m sorry…”

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.

She sobbed quietly, reaching out a shaky hand. Soft tears started to fall from her vacant eyes at his apology. “It’s okay,” she said. “It’s not your fault.”

Eren cupped her hand with both of his warmer ones and brought it closer to his lips. His hot breath caressed her skin, soothing her bruise. “I’ll stay here,” Eren whispered, gently stroking her hair. “You don’t have to think about anything else as long as I’m here. You can sleep now…”

When she felt him lacing their fingers together, she breathed out in relief. “The skin of your palm…” A timid smile found her lips. “It’s so rough…”

Eren chuckled, even when it still felt like his chest was being torn open. “Must be because of my traini—” He stopped abruptly, his heart pounding. She was placing his hand on the side of her face, the callousness of his palm pressed against the smoothness of her cheek. Her lips bowed as she closed her eyes. She didn’t say a word, while his mind was jumbled with them.

His warmth was comforting. The texture of his palm was familiar. In his touch, she found her serenity. And just like that, her breathing became even. She began to fall asleep, drifting away from every wound and agony that life had inflicted on her. Right before she waned completely into her dreamland, a confession broke past her lips.

“Don’t leave me…”

Never had he felt his heart thrashing this wildly before. She was so beautiful. So pure, and so broken at the same time. Why did she have to go through all this pain? 

“I won’t,” he promised her with a voice so soft—it became a lullaby to her ears. “I won’t leave you. I’ll stay with you forever.”

I’ll stay with you for eternity.

***

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately,” Eren confessed, sticking a tree’s branch inside the firewood the three of them made that night. Armin sneaked a glance at his face, probably analyzing his expression to understand how Eren was feeling at the moment. 

“Me too,” Jean muttered, yawning loudly as he threw a rock toward the frozen lake. Eren began to realize that it was a habit of his. “But you know the difference between you and me, Jackass? I don’t whine like a fucking girl about it.”

“Jean,” Armin scolded and his brother only shrugged. Eren mirrored the blonde boy’s apologetic smile, making gestures that he didn’t mind Jean’s words.

“Have you ever had a nightmare, Jean?” Eren asked and the other boy snorted loudly.

“My whole life is a nightmare,” he grumbled. “I wouldn’t know the difference even if I had one. And how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t call my name!”

“Please ignore my brother and his evil plan to spread despair to the world,” Armin joked and Jean threatened to throw pebbles at him. “What keeps you awake at night, Eren? Thinking of some lucky girl?”

While Jean snorted again, Eren began to smile sheepishly. “Sometimes… I guess?”

“Aaw, our little hero has finally found his heroine,” Armin cooed and Eren shoved him lightly by the shoulder.

“Shut up. It’s not always like that.” Eren huffed. “It’s more than that. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while because…” He paused, staring at the firewood with weary eyes. “Well, I guess it all started on the first day I stood on the field with a gun in my hands. I’ve had my fair share of training as a soldier, but what you see in real life is… different than anything you’ve imagined it to be.”

“Why?” Armin queried. Jean, who didn’t even bother to listen, yawned loudly as he placed his head on his brother’s lap. Eren gave them both a look but Armin waved a hand nonchalantly, muttering, “Ignore him. He’s been this clingy from the first time we met. I’m used to it by now.”

“Please. I know you like it, Min.”

“What, having a grown-ass man’s head on my lap? Very unlikely.”

And Eren smiled because this scene he witnessed right there, reminded him how it felt like to have a family. It had been a while since he last saw his mother, and only God knew how much he missed her at the moment.

“When I began my training,” Eren revealed, “The only thing that mattered to me was how to protect my country. How to not get your comrades killed in battles, and how to survive. But now, I see that that’s not how it works anymore. Being a soldier means we have to be ready to take lives. To murder innocent people. People like you and Jean.”

Armin stayed silent. The fire danced beautifully in his eyes, a spark of amber gleaming inside a sapphire.

“I don’t want to kill anyone.” Eren sounded as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I don’t want to be a murderer. I want to be someone who can protect. Someone who can help those in need. Someone who can make them happy.”

Armin smiled at him, pressing a comforting hand on Eren’s shoulder.

“Someday you will be, Eren. Someday you will be.”

***

“Unwinds this world that ever turns,” Eren recited, his voice was velvety when he vocalized the words that were written on the poetry book he held in his hand. “Slow it to a week. Where daybreak brings her honey kiss.” Just for a few seconds, he let his eyes take a journey to her lips, tracing the shape of her mouth, beautiful like a cupid’s bow. He caught himself, the blood that rushed to his face streamed down to his chest, pumping his heart harder. “And twilight, earthly tenderness, with night her rapt mystique.”

The lady was lying on her side, her eyes staring blankly at the spot where she could hear Eren’s voice the most. His tone was gentle and his voice felt like a symphony to her ears. It was easy to let go but she kept her eyes awake. She hadn’t trusted him that much to let herself sleep when he was in the same room with her. The previous night was an exception. Her body had felt so weak—drained—and she didn’t have the power to put up a fight to stay awake.

“Unwind this world that spins so fast,” Eren continued and she thought she could listen to his voice forever. Husky but young, awkward but soothing. “Slow it to a day. When clouds flow back against Time’s bend, and dying dreams reverse their end. Lost skiffs return to bay.”

The way the sunlight hit her skin made it glow and Eren felt a bit nervous. She was, indeed, a beauty. Art to be admired. No wonder she was the jewel of this place. No matter how many bruises bloomed from those forced kisses she had, no matter how many handprints and cuts from dirty nails appeared on her spine, she still looked like she was the purest form a soul could ever take in this world.

The book in his hand had been forgotten, his eyes lingered on her curves, but they were not the eyes of a hungry man. They weren’t fueled by lust. They were… entranced like a child lying on the grass, watching the stars taking shape into pretty constellations. 

“Soldier…?”

He jolted awake from his stupor. “U-unwind this world that twirls so wild,” Eren read after he cleared his throat, shifting his gaze away. “Slow it to an hour. When friendships paint a lonely sky. Spry dancers, all bounds defy; Fresh buds elate in flower.”

With every word, her eyelids became even heavier and she felt his voice getting nearer but, to her surprise, her thoughts remained calm. This was comforting. He was comforting. He was, by all means, her safe haven.

She fell asleep.

“Unwind this world that whips around,” Eren whispered, returning the small poetry book to the pocket of his beige coat. He kneeled beside the bed, brushing her stray hair away from her face with delicate fingers. “Slow it to that time.” He adored everything about her. The way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheekbones; the blissful look on her face as she sank deeper into her dream, her parted lips, and the soft breath that flowed through them. “When our goodbyes were yet of tongue, and Cupid’s arrow had just been flung.” Her cheeks were still wet with tears that never seemed to stop, purple bruises blooming on her porcelain skin.

How can I save you?

Closing his eyes, Eren leaned in and planted a tender kiss on the spot between her eyebrows. The lady stirred a little in her sleep and he reciprocated with a smile.

“Our love, a love sublime.”

***

“All right, now let’s get down to business,” Theo Magath stated, blinking Eren away from his thoughts. “Our witnesses claimed that there were a bunch of Eldians trying to steal something from our storage room last night. We’re gonna find out who they are.”

Eren felt an eerie feeling swirling in his gut. These last few days have felt like the sweetest dream that he staggered as he stepped back int

Ice & Fire Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Yuuta Okkotsu

Status:1/19

Genre: Fantasy AU, romance, smut, angst, fluff, a crossover between Attack On Titan and Jujutsu Kaisen, loosely based on Game of Thrones and Eragon

Series Summary: Yuuta Okkotsu, the kind-hearted firstborn prince of the kingdom of Nymeria, finds himself stranded on an island that had been thought to only exist in legend. It is there he meets the last of the Valyrians, a dragon-blood named Eren Jaeger. While their days on the island are happy, they can’t last forever. Yuuta has a duty as prince to his kingdom that he must fulfill, and it is this duty that ultimately tears them apart.

Content Warnings: BL/Yaoi, hybrids/monsters, magic/fantasy, infidelity, power imbalances, graphic depictions of violence and death, explicit sexual content (blow job, anal sex, rimming, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, monsterfucking, 69, cum-eating, spit play, deep-throating, double penetration, sadism, masochism, blood play/consumption, choking/asphyxiation kink, handjob, drunk sex, orgy), dub-con, virginity loss, drugs (alcohol), traumatic backstories, unrequited love, yandere tropes, corruption arc, major character death

If you’d like to read it on AO3 you can do so HERE

Written by Sandra from @smfics/@princess-jaeger and Kana from @ficsforeren/@sundaysundaes

CHAPTER LIST

Prologue:The Death of The Dragons / The Birth of The Wolves

• Word Count: 5K
• Summary: The origins of the kingdom of Nymeria and the fall of the Valyrian race. The circumstances that lead up to the meeting between dragon and prince. The world Eren and Yuuta live in is unjust and cruel, but it’s a world they both must face if they are to survive.

Chapter 1: The Meaning of Legend

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Chapter 2: The Dragon’s Treasures

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Chapter 3:The Son of The Usurper

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Chapter 4:The Black Dread

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Chapter 5:The Sun and The Stars

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Chapter 6:The Prince Returns

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Chapter 7: The Lost Girl

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Chapter 8:The End of The Beginning

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Chapter 9:The Unfaithful One

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Chapter 10:The Direwolves

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Chapter 11:The Maiden’s First Love

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Chapter 12:The Faceless Woman

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Chapter 13:The Demise of The Golden Lions

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Chapter 14:The White Wolf

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Chapter 15:The Rebirth of The Emperor

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Chapter 16:The Final War

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Chapter 17:The Fading Curse

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Chapter 18: The Blissful Dream

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Ice & Fire - Prologue

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Yuuta Okkotsu

Genre: Fantasy AU, romance, smut, angst, fluff, a crossover between Attack On Titan and Jujutsu Kaisen, loosely based on Game of Thrones and Eragon

Series Summary: Yuuta Okkotsu, the kind-hearted firstborn prince of the kingdom of Nymeria, finds himself stranded on an island that had been thought to only exist in legend. It is there he meets the last of the Valyrians, a dragon-blood named Eren Jaeger. While their days on the island are happy, they can’t last forever. Yuuta has a duty as prince to his kingdom that he must fulfill, and it is this duty that ultimately tears them apart.

Content Warnings: BL/Yaoi, hybrids/monsters, magic/fantasy, infidelity, power imbalances, graphic depictions of violence and death, explicit sexual content (blow job, anal sex, rimming, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, monsterfucking, 69, cum-eating, spit play, deep-throating, double penetration, sadism, masochism, blood play/consumption, choking/asphyxiation kink, handjob, drunk sex, orgy), dub-con, virginity loss, drugs (alcohol), traumatic backstories, unrequited love, yandere tropes, corruption arc, major character death

Written by Sandra from @smfics/@princess-jaeger and Kana from @ficsforeren/@sundaysundaes

THE DEATH OF THE DRAGONS

Valyria, they called it. The Island of the Dragons.

The outsiders believed it was a myth. A legend. That the tale of the beasts who once ruled the world was simply a story parents invented to put their children to sleep. No one had ever seen a dragon soaring in the sky. No one had ever had shivers running down their spines at the sounds of their bellow. No one had ever felt the heat of the blue flames that seeped through the creature’s teeth. No one had ever witnessed the glorious tale of a Rider and their Dragon. How their power reigned over the world, providing peace and serenity to their people, and how their frozen fire and bloodied desire were the ones that consumed them too in the end. No one, except the Valyrians themselves. They remembered. 

The Valyrians walked upon the ground that their ancestor, the mighty dragon Balerion, built from scratch with his blood and sweat. They stood on his bones, ones that were turned to dust, and they worshiped his name, the only thing that was left of him. But the dragon magic that once streamed under his skin was inherited by every Valyrian that was born into the world. It took the shape of the delicate iridescent scales that veneered their human skin, the two jagged horns that were perched upon their heads, a tail strong enough to smother the air out of a man’s lungs, and a string of marbled teeth made of knives.

They resembled the appearance of the devils that crawled their way out from the underworld, but the Gods were merciful enough to grant them the ability to conceal every part of them that was inhuman. Once a Valyrian was old enough–strongenough–to have control over their magic, they could embrace their human parts better. They could turn their scales transparent and hide their beauty from the world. They could use their magic like an invisible veil, cloaking their horns and tail. They could appear human. They could livelike humans.

But even so, the Valyrians no longer possessed the thirst for knowledge their ancestors did. They weren’t as courageous, as fearless, and as greedy as they were. Even with blue flames dancing on their palms, they never used it to enslave other races. They were content with what their island had given them. 

The outsiders, those who lived on the other side of the sea, had never seen a dragon’s wrath, only stories of it. Their incognizance could make them reckless and foolish. It could make them dangerous. Their curiosity could threaten the life of every Valyrian, fight their loyal husbands, and harm innocent children and their loving mothers. It was in their nature for humans to judge others by their appearance, and when their opponents embodied the look of a monster, it was only right for them to raise their weapons against them. 

The Valyrians could tyrannize over the outsiders if they wanted to. They had the power to do so but chose not to. Yet that was not enough to convince a stranger, especially those who were already shrouded with fear. The dragon hybrids chose to avoid conflict and live a peaceful life, staying deep in the serenity the island provided them. They chose not to step outside and travel the world, no matter how beautiful they may seem, as they believed that the only living beings who thrived on the other end of the sea were monsters.

Legends are meant to be stories, their tall tales a source of wisdom and a tool for learning. But when a child believes these legends enough to stop questioning their authenticity, they become a threat to the world around them. 

A bright Valyrian boy, defiant in his nature, was so consumed by his curiosity that it made him foolish. Armin was the name his father gave him, meaning heroin their language,in hopes that his son would become a savior to his kind, one that would return the peace to the island if a calamity ever arose. Little did he know that his son would be the one who would anger the Gods and bring catastrophe to their land.

A treasure chest full of clothes and jewelry was found washed ashore one day, on a beach where Armin often spent his time daydreaming about the outside world. Though they had their own preference for clothing and accessories, hybrids were always fond of shiny gemstones, but at that time, nothing caught his attention more than a leather book the size of a large stepping stone. The inside of the treasure box was dry, despite the journey full of storms and crashing waves it must have gone through before it reached his beach. The book was not ruined.

Armin flipped through the pages. The words were written in a different language but even if they weren’t, it would not have mattered. None of the Valyrians were literate as they preferred to communicate verbally. They drew on the walls and walked their fingers across the sand, but they had never invented words to be placed on parchments. 

The boy landed his cerulean eyes on a set of illustrations sketched by a human’s hand. Words and languages weren’t needed to explain that he was seeing a drawing of flaming water, land made of ice, and fields of sand spreading wide as if it was endless.

Beautiful,Armin wondered, stars dancing in his eyes as they gleamed in awe. Is this what the outside world looks like? 

That was how it all started. One boy, desperate to seek an answer to his question, decided to take action to fulfill his thirst. With a wooden boat he made with his talented hands, a week’s worth of food, and a breechclout made from a wolf’s fur to protect him from the wind, Armin roamed the ocean at dawn. He let the waves carry him away from the paradise he once called home, seeking another heaven that would satisfy his curiosity. 

But what stood on the other side of the sea was no such thing.

It was hell on earth.

They found him the second he stepped down from his boat. The outsiders approached menacingly with javelins gripped tightly between their hands. They questioned his identity with their deep, guttural voices in a language the boy had never spoken of. The golden-haired boy cowered in fear, his sapphire eyes quivering like the crystal-like water behind him. In his frightened state, the boy lost focus on his power, and the invisible cloak around him provided by his magic, vanished. The outsiders watched him with widened eyes, faces turning pasty at the sight of his horns and tail. They didn’t find beauty in his scales. 

“A d-demon,” one of them said and the boy took a step back, lost his footing, and fell onto the sand. Sea water drenched his skin, and while it usually calmed him down in the past, it only made him feel frantic. The boy tried to communicate with his gentle heart, his hands raised in surrender but they mistook it for a threat. A man, twice his size, shouted at him, his voice ringing vehemently enough to awaken the boy’s instinct to protect himself. His human eyes turned snake-like as he stretched out a hand before him, palm splayed with heat trickling from his fingertips. In the next second, blue flames materialized out of thin air.

And it burned the man into dust. 

The boy was just as frightened of himself as the other males, but the humans were much faster to regain their composure. Acting on impulse, they restrained the boy with ropes that dug tortuously into his skin, threw a rag over his head, and brought him to a dungeon where they would spend hours tormenting him. They mutilated him, chopped off his hands so he wouldn’t be able to use his fire magic. Each question was answered with a wail, and once they had grown tired, the humans tried to burn him alive, wanting him to experience the same painful death that had befallen their comrade. Armin might not have been invincible to daggers, but he welcomed the heat of the flames like an old friend. He couldn’t be burned, his bones remained strong, and his skin was unscathed. At that moment, fear was no longer the only thing that swelled inside those humans’ merciless hearts. There was greed. They saw his power as a gift, and they wanted to take it for themselves.

The boy pleaded for his life and they promised him freedom if he could lead them to his home. Gullible and desperate, Armin led them back to the sea. They stopped in the middle of the ocean, their bodies weak and dehydrated. The outsiders were confused as they could see nothing but water glimmering like diamonds under the sun. There was magic shrouding the island, a protection field that prevented anyone but the Valyrians from seeing the island until they passed through it. The humans, not knowing about the invisible cloak that concealed the island, were furious, assuming that the boy had tricked them and led them astray. But then Armin stretched out his hand, and like a curtain being tugged to the side, the island appeared before their eyes.

The outsiders rejoiced. They were one step closer to getting what they wanted.

Armin, despite his willingness to cooperate, had his head detached from his neck the second they arrived on the island. That day, from daylight to nighttime, the humans wreaked havoc on their island with their spears and swords. The outside world was cold and cruel, and the humans were trained for survival and warfare. But the hybrids were nothing like them, too used to living in tranquility to be able to take the life of another. The battle was one-sided. 

Humans didn’t just walk away victorious. They robbed everything they could, raped every woman, tortured every man, and murdered the elderly all in one night. They tied up the children’s hands and legs and they tossed them to the back of their boats, carrying them back to their own land so they could experiment with their powers. They ripped the scales out of their skins. They used their bodies to test their weapons. They wanted to know every bit of their weakness and steal away every bit of their strength. The children didn’t last long, dying from being unable to withstand the pain. The massacre put an end to their race. The dragons had perished, all except one.

Eren Jaeger, a nine-year-old hybrid, managed to escape the massacre at the cost of his family’s lives. He saw the way his father gasped as a javelin struck past his heart. He heard the sound of his brother’s cry as they chopped off his legs and fed his body to their hounds. He felt the way his mother embraced him with her trembling arms as she asked him to flee for his life and leave her behind. 

“You have to go or they will take you away,” she urged him, her voice quavering in terror. “Run. And when you feel like you can’t run anymore, run faster. You have to live.”

“But mother–”

“Eren.” She placed her hands on his shoulders, casting him the same smile that Eren had fallen in love with from the day he was born. “You have to live so you can remember us.” She kissed his tears away but she didn’t let him do the same. She pushed her child forward, yelling, “Run!”

Eren did, without having a second to bid his goodbye. He sprinted faster than the wind, even if each stride felt like he was stepping onto shards of broken glass. He dived into the sea, and he let the tide and the storm be his shield and shelter.

And he never looked back.

***

THE BIRTH OF THE WOLVES

Nymeria was the home of the Gods. Vibrant with colors, perfused with life. 

As one of the eight kingdoms that ruled the continent, its beauty stretched endlessly from the drift ice in the north sea to the mangrove jungles in the south. Petals of cherry blossom trees performed a graceful dance with the wind in the spring, while the scent of thriving bamboo permeated the air throughout the year. 

The first emperor, Michizane Sugawara, built his kingdom from scratch. He was known as the Wolf of The North, due to his fierceness and loyalty. But an old lady would tell her grandchildren a different story of how he regained that title. 

Michizane was only a baby who had barely learned how to smile when his people perceived him as a vessel of a vengeful spirit. He was born with an anomaly, where his eyes were blood red instead of gentle brown like his parents. From the day he breathed his first air, a deadly plague spread through the entire village, taking every newborn’s life, and sending the elderly to eternal sleep. The soothing rains turned into storms, flooding their land and destroying their paddies. The gentle breeze evolved into a hurricane and swept away their houses. They were too afraid to question the Gods and so they put the blame on a child who still craved his mother’s warmth. 

On a night of the full moon, they snatched the baby away from his mother’s arms. They cast him into the woods, far away in the north, where the starving wolves roam around, searching for prey. The people sat down and prayed at the gate, not for the baby’s safety, but to offer his life to the Forest Gods, hoping that it would stop the calamity that befell their homes. 

His people abandoned him, and the wolves took him into their pack. Michizane was raised in the woods and the wolves taught him their language and the meaning of family. He learned compassion. He learned how to forgive and rely on each other’s strength. Because when the snow falls and the wind blows, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.

The catastrophe that struck the village continued long after they last listened to the sound of Michizane’s fretful cry. The people remained hungry, their children were only bones and skin. One day, a pack of wolves walked into their village with silence in their steps and glowing eyes. They were not ordinary beasts, three times the size of the wolves that guarded their woods, heavier with more massive jaws and teeth that could tear a man’s leg with a single bite. They did not fear fire. They did not fear blades. The people screamed in their helpless state, and the mothers cried as the wolves howled.

Then a man stepped in, a stranger by face but not by name, and the wolves turned as still as the dead.

“I am Michizane Sugawara,” the man said, his eyes glowing in the night like a scarlet moon but they were as gentle as the breeze that kissed his cheeks. “The man you once cast away.”

“The vengeful spirit!” a brawny man shouted, pointing his javelin at his face. A beast covered with smoke gray fur lunged forward in response, standing before Michizane like a mother wolf protecting its pup. The man took a step back, his face turned pasty at the sight of its bared teeth.

“Easy,” Michizane said, his hand stroking the direwolf’s fur, and the growling that rumbled deep within its chest turned into a soft purr. His opponent watched his every movement closely, but the one who seemed like a threat was not Michizane. It was himself.

“I am not here for revenge,” Michizane explained, grabbing the sack he carried on one shoulder and emptying its insides. Mangos and berries tumbled to the ground, rolling and knocking themselves against the peasants’ feet. The people stared in bewilderment. Where did he find these fruits? They wondered. They were certain that there was nothing left for them to harvest, as the storms had destroyed everything to the ground.

“I found them in the forest,” Michizane answered their silent question. “There is more than I can carry. Come with me. I’ll show you the path.”

The people turned their heads, staring at each other’s faces with frowns breaking on their temples. “B-but…” A lady spoke, her voice was as frail as a spiderweb. “There are… wolves in the forest.”

“Yes, there are,” Michizane responded with a smile, caressing the beast with one hand and it leaned further into his touch like a small kitten. “They’re my family.”

“Why should we trust you?” Her husband said, firmer in tone even when his knees were trembling under his weight. “What if you lead us into the forest and toss us to the wolves?”

“Because I’m not like you.” The tenderness in Michizane’s voice began to waver as his patience ran thin. “I don’t sacrifice a human’s life to save my own. I am here to give you an option. Pledge your loyalty to me and I will make sure your children could sleep with their stomachs full. Put your faith in me and I will let the wolves protect you, the way they protected me. I doubt you can survive the next winter if you remain in this state. We can survive together. We willsurvive together.”

Words alone would not be enough to suddenly turn their fear into devotion, but at least, they managed to light a flicker of flame in their hearts, enough for them to be brave. They kept their weapons and torches in their hands but they followed his trail without a word. The wolves stood on their sides, their teeth no longer bared, and they were as silent as the night itself. When they entered the forest, they were welcomed by the sight of mango trees coming into fruit, dangling tantalizingly before their eyes.

“Take as many as you wish,” Michizane said. “I will not let you starve.”

Instead of sprinting toward the trees, the villagers dropped down to their knees, their arms stretched out as they pressed their foreheads to the ground. They called upon his name, chanting it like prayer as they spoke their gratitudes. His red eyes shone in elation, happy to welcome his new family, but an innocent child pointed his hand at him. “A demon,” the child said before his mother clasped her palm against his mouth, shushing him down.

“He’s not a demon. He’s our savior.” She bowed to him. “He’s our king.”

The demon in the darkness was the answer to their prayer all along. The lost hero. The new emperor. The Wolf of The North.

Michizane brought his people together, protected them under his claws and teeth, and guided them to live a life full of love and forgiveness. The empire that started small, grew immensely over the years as more people came to seek the taste of serenity that he provided. Centuries passed by, and Nymeria remained prosperous. They said their soils were blessed by the deities, that when a man tossed a broken branch into the dirt, the earth would restore it to its glory by the next morning. Food was never scarce. Children never ran out of laughter. Men guffawed all day and mothers sang their favorite lullabies to their smiling babies. People created names for their Gods, and they chanted them in their prayers with their eyes closed and their heads bowed low enough for their skin to graze the earth.

But a thousand prayers were left unheard once a man, driven by his vanity and lust for power, claimed the throne and betrayed his ancestors’ will. The Gods stopped giving them their blessings, and they simply watched from the heavens above.

And they watched how Nymeria slowly began to rot from the inside.

Emperor Okkotsu was not born a vile man. He was just like Michizane himself. Determined. Goal-driven. Strong and courageous. A respectable man who would never lay a hand on the innocents. He wished only to preserve peace in his kingdom. The only thing that separated them was the fact that Michizane kept the turmoil in his chest buried deep behind the smile that he showcased to his people. He would rather suffer alone than bring his people to shed tears with him. Emperor Okkotsu, on the other hand, was not one to put on a facade. When he was suffused with joy, the women rejoiced in pretty clothes and the men fell asleep with smiles on their faces. When anger consumed him, he let his wrath burn everything around him. When he was swallowed by grief, the children cried in his presence.

Nymeria was an ally to every kingdom, except one: The Dricans. Known as The Golden Lions, they were powerful, fierce, and strong like the king of the jungle itself. They were one of the eight kingdoms that presided over the continent, second in strength only to the wolves. But unlike the Nymerians who were content with living within the borders of their land, the Dricans wanted more. Fueled by greed, the lions roared and the wolves perceived it as a threat.

It was the last night of winter when a Nymerian princess was captured by the Dricans. They sliced her flesh open, destroyed her honor, and sent back her corpse to her brother, the king himself. The Dricans sent their regards, a message strapped to her casket said. The Emperor remained muted but the direwolves howled. And the world watched with bated breath as he took his revenge.

The diplomatic acts between the two kingdoms did not work as the Emperor was determined to make Drican pay for their sins. Insulted by his act, they decided to settle it for good. Yuuta Okkotsu, his firstborn, witnessed the terror that the Dricans spread throughout their lands from the spaces between his mother’s fingers. Drican invaded their home at the break of dawn, burning down their fields and tainting their crystal lakes with shades of crimson. Though shocked by the sudden aggression, Nymerians were strong enough to put up a fight.

The war between the two dynasties lasted for the entire summer. Blood of Nymerian warriors pooled and dried on the ground, their skins scorched by the blazing sun, frozen when the night kissed them goodbye. Many innocent lives were taken away. A widow’s wail echoed through the night, and the fireflies went silent as they mourned her husband’s death. The Emperor was running out of options. He couldn’t win without a new source of power. And in his desperate need, his advisor whispered in his ear.

There was a rumor, he said, that a witch lived somewhere in a forested ravine in the rugged mountain that stood a hundred miles away from the palace. A lady with ginger hair and a smile wicked enough to spread goosebumps on a man’s skin. Nobara, they called her, a strange name for a strange woman, but the Emperor wanted her more than he longed to feast on a wild boar. He sent twelve brave men to take her captive. Only five of them returned, dragging the witch behind them like cattle. 

The Emperor asked her to create a spell, one that would grant him an immense amount of power. He informed her that it was necessary for him to protect his realm, to give his people the peaceful life they desired, just like in the old days. The witch, knowing that Drican was the one who waged the war, granted him his wish. She cast a spell on him, and he perceived it as a gift. A blessing from the Gods. Her only warning for him was to not harm the innocents, an easy feat as he had sworn to protect them even before she shrouded him with her magic.

 For her spell to work, a sacrifice was necessary. A human’s life. The more he killed, the stronger he became. The Emperor could feel the surge of energy flowing through his system as he drove his sword deep inside his opponent’s chest. Anguish was a hurricane churning inside his chest that he tried to put a blind eye on. There was no need for the two kingdoms to sacrifice the lives of their brave men, but it was a point of no return.

The Emperor deceived himself by believing that one death of his enemy would guarantee a life for his people. He stopped seeing the Dricans as humans. He perceived them as devils. And by the power bestowed by the Gods, he would send them back to the land of the dead.

The Emperor had the strength to decapitate a whole army by himself. Within three days, the Dricans kneeled before him, pleading for mercy. Their foreheads were glued to the ground, their body shaking in fear, and their lips were bitten hard to suppress their tears. The Emperor, for once, stopped raising his sword. He tried to find the will within himself to forgive, but before he could find it, a Drican soldier, unwilling to surrender, rose to his feet, snatched a knife hidden underneath his cloak, and tossed it forward. The dagger pierced through the air, aiming straight for the Emperor’s head but the spell protected him, hardened his skin, making it impenetrable. There was not a scratch on his body, and not a drop of blood was shed. The dagger clattered on the earth before the Emperor retrieved it with one hand. In the next second, the Drican soldier’s head was split into two, his own knife flying past through his skull. 

The Dricans didn’t seek mercy, the Emperor concluded. They sought a chance to betray him, to strike him down when he was in his most vulnerable state. He wouldn’t give it to them. He wouldn’t let a traitor walk on his land.

And so the Emperor sent an order to slaughter them all. Every Drican, let it be men, women, or infants. Everyone needed to die. He was swallowed by his wrath that he forgot the caution the witch had given him. And when he took an innocent’s life for the first time, the amount of energy that flowed through him was a hundred times more intense. The witch had lied to him, the Emperor thought. Innocent lives didn’t weaken the spell, it strengthened it. Killing a faithful wife would grant him the same amount of power that he felt when he slaughtered ten vicious men. Killing a child would give him the strength to crack the earth open with a swing of his sword. With every innocent life he took, the greater magic he possessed. 

The war lasted for months but it ended in one night. It was not followed by cheers of victory, only eerie silence.

Drican had fallen, and from their ashes, Nymeria rose stronger than ever.

Peace returned once again, but it was never the same. Before he ascended to the throne, the Emperor was once a kind, loving husband, and a doting parent to his children, Yuuta and Rika. Now, his sanity deteriorated with each passing second. The spell got to his head. He became addicted to power. He murdered each of his enemies but they never granted him the same power that he felt when he took innocent lives. He needed it. He needed to kill. But when he had run out of enemies to slay, his lust for power turned him blind.

Yuuta, a twelve-year-old boy at that time, was unable to catch a wink of sleep. It was the night of the full moon when he stepped down from his bed, dragging his little feet as he made his way to his parent’s chamber. He wished to see his mother, wanting to fall asleep with his head on her lap as he listened to the same lullaby she always hummed and sang to him to wash away his nightmares. It was childish of him to still want to be spoiled like that despite his age, but his mother never complained once. She found him endearing, and she was his first love. 

The little boy landed a hand on the door, pushing it open as he rubbed his eyes away from sleep. “Mother,” he called but no one came to answer. Stepping further inside the room, he witnessed his mother lay down on the bed, her long black hair strewn across her pillow. Looming above her, trapping her waist between his knees, was the man who wore the same face as his father. But instead of a smile and affection in his eyes, the man bared his teeth, his eyes glowing as he curled his strong fingers around her neck, choking the life out of her.

Yuuta was petrified, his feet icebound to the ground as he watched with his big blue eyes shaking in disbelief. By the time he found his voice, his mother’s body had turned limp. Her beautiful eyes had lost their gleam, and she stared hollowly at her husband’s face. Yuuta saw the way his father sighed in relief, almost as if he was drowning in ecstasy. He stared at his hands, laughing as he felt power coursing through his veins. He felt alive, better than he had ever been.

Then the man stopped, sensing the little noise that Yuuta made as his breath hitched in his throat. His father spun his head around, facing his child and the tiny hairs on Yuuta’s nape stood in fear.

That man was not his father. 

Yuuta ran as if the devil was chasing after him. He ran without looking back, his lungs burning and his heart bleeding. He returned to his chamber, locked the door, and pressed his back against it. His knees shook underneath his weight and he slid down to the floor. With both hands covering his mouth, he shut his eyes closed and sobbed. His younger sister, Rika, who was staying in the same room, woke up from her sleep at the sound of his muffled cry. 

“Yuuta?” She crawled down from her bed, dragging her quilt behind her as she made her way toward her brother. “Yuuta, what’s wrong?” She went down to her knees before him, checking on his face with bleary eyes. “Why are you crying? A nightmare?”

“R-Rika…” Her name was strangled in his throat. “Mother–Mother is–”

The sound of a fist meeting door was heard from the other side and Yuuta jerked violently in surprise, returning back to his feet with his arms wrapped protectively around his sister. “Yuuta,” his father called, his thunderous voice was never laced with tenderness in the last few years. “Answer the door.”

“N-no!”

“Yuuta?” Rika, who sensed the horror in her brother’s voice, started to mimic his body language. “What is happening?”

“Yuuta.”His father’s voice pitched lower. 

“Go away, Father!”

Enraged, the Emperor smashed the door with one hand. The children shrieked, holding each other tight as they fell to their knees. Yuuta embraced his sister close, placing his palms over her ears to silence her surroundings. The boy was still sobbing fervently, body shivering from head to toe, but in his eyes, there was a hint of bravery that the Emperor had seen in his worst enemy. No matter how much his feet were itching to run, Yuuta was determined to protect his sister. 

“Stay away,” the boy said, peering deep into his father’s eyes with the intensity of a cornered wolf. “I won’t let you hurt Rika.”

The little girl was clutching onto his shirt, clawing at Yuuta’s chest as her tears stained his fabric. “Y-Yuuta, I’m scared.”

“It’s alright, Rika,” Yuuta replied, pressing his cheek against her forehead as he maintained his gaze on his father’s face. The tremble in his voice was no longer as apparent as before. “I will protect you.”

The sight of his children crouching in fear before him momentarily broke the spell that fogged his thoughts. The bloodlust in his eyes flickered like candlelight being swayed by the wind before it vanished completely. As if losing his strength at once, the Emperor kneeled on the ground, his face contorted in pain as he watched the siblings with his eyes rimmed by his tears. “I’m sorry,” the old man said repeatedly as he watched his trembling hands in horror. He seemed afraid, not of anyone but himself. “Please forgive me.” He reached out a hand, wanting to take his son’s hand but the boy took a step back.

“D-don’t touch me,” Yuuta said. He could tell that whatever it was that possessed his father a moment ago had left its vessel, but his fear made him hesitant.

Grave sadness overtook the Emperor’s face. “Yuuta… There are… Voices in my head.” His father confessed, and for the first time in his life, his son watched the hero who brought victory and honor to his empire–to his family–crumble in agony. “I can’t stop them… I had to do it. I needed to do it.”

“You killed Mother,” Yuuta said, each word vocalized with a dagger scratching against his throat.

“I didn’t mean to.” The man shook his head, pleading for forgiveness. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m going insane, Yuuta. I can’t stop it. I just wanted to feel alive and the next thing I knew, I–” The man cast his gaze down to his hands, splaying his palms before he clenched them into fists. “This power is a curse. That witch… I have to find that witch to reverse it but…” He gritted his teeth, trying to stop a sob from fleeing out of his mouth. “My wife… My wife is gone… I killed her…”

Yuuta did not believe his words, but he stayed in silence, watching the tears line his father’s cheeks as he cried silently in shame. When the man elevated his face, he swore to him, “I won’t hurt you. I promise I won’t hurt you. My children… You are the only ones I have left.” 

There was no guarantee that the Emperor would stay true to his promise. Even the man himself didn’t find the strength to believe in it. But despite what he had done, he was still the father who nurtured him, who taught him the meaning of life, the man who made his kingdom feel like home. Yuuta felt his heart break into pieces, even more than it already had. 

On the next morning, as the servants cleaned and buried his wife’s corpse, Yuuta and Rika were escorted out of the palace without being given a chance to state their prayers. Afraid that he would harm his children in the future the way he did his wife, the Emperor sent them away to his relatives at the opposite end of the world, far away in the west. He bid his final words not with a goodbye but with an apology, leaving his children confused and shaken, but Yuuta never spoke a word. No matter how frail and heartbroken his father seemed, he would never be able to forget the wicked gleam in his eyes as he rejoiced over his wife’s death.

“I will find a way to cure myself,” his father promised them. “I will return to how I was. My sister will take care of you until then. Yuuta, Rika, we will be together again soon.”

The children traveled across the sea, accompanied by their most trusted knights to protect them and servants to attend to their needs. They rode the waves, making their way to visit their relatives in the west. That day, the sunset was the most beautiful one Yuuta had ever seen but he could not find the strength to appreciate it. And as if the sky listened to the storm that raged within his chest, the clouds turned dark and the heavens cried for his sake.

The gulls were tossed paper in a storm, flashes of white in the gray, tumbling as they struggled against the gale. Heavy droplets of rain felt like ice daggers on their skin, and the tides churned below them, tilting the ship from side to side. As the children and the servants struggled to find their way to the deck, fighting against the rainstorm, a sudden crash of waves toppled the ship and sent Yuuta’s body flying backward. He was clutching against the railing, screaming for help as he felt his fingers starting to lose grip. Beneath him, the sea rose as great mountains, anger in the form of water, turbulent and unforgiving.

He heard Rika shouting his name, her voice was a whisper among the thunders that rumbled through the sky. Before a hand could reach him, the storm stole him away.

 Yuuta fell into the bottomless sea, forced to fight against its rage. And with no weapon in his hands, he let the Gods decide on his fate.

***

Tagging:@brujaovermoxy@erentoes@starry-supernova@itsalicewickedmcgee@jaeger-xo@whore4jean@ninachan00@raechulashleigh@fqiryspit

Thank you for reading!

Dragon Eren X Prince Yuuta from ICE & FIRE.

We are currently working on a fic about Prince!Yuuta x Dragon Hybrid!Eren called Ice & Fire and we are so excited to share it with you! It’s an AOT X JJK crossover fanfiction, loosely based on Game of Thrones and Eragon.

Written by Sandra from @smfics/@princess-jaeger and Kana from @ficsforeren/@sundaysundaes

We will be posting anything related to RenYuu on this blog (fan arts that we commission, fanfics that we write, inspo pictures/moodboards, headcanons, etc).

Masterlist for Ice & Fire here!

Join our taglist here!

Click here to see some snippets!

You can also read it on AO3 if you wish! Link here

This is either gonna be Eren x reader’s dynamic or Sunwoo x reader’s dynamic

Can y’all comment below pls

Bf!Eren text messages .

Pt 2. of shit Eren would do

This is how i see Y/n and Eren’s dynamic inPARADI$E(the book is not published)

Pairing: Eren Yeager X Reader

Warning : mentions of shooting, killing, basically Y/n threatening to kill Eren

Words :240

Eren walks out of the bathroom, his body is covered in stray water droplets, face covered with a white towel

“You don’t dry yourself up before leaving the bathroom?” You asked, judging him

He pulled the towel of his face “I do, but I didn’t expect someone to be in my room”

“Yeah whatever, cover up” You say eyes still on his face

He smirks “I will but can you confirm if it’s big?”

You narrow your eyes at him “I will kill you”

“You just gotta look and tell me the truth”

“I will cut your dick off” “Okay let’s not do that”

You roll your eyes

“Are you here to fuck” He suddenly asked

“What, no. How do you come up with?”

“You might’ve fallen in love with me, the other day and stalked me” He said

“I will blow your head off” “In what way?”

“What do you mean ‘In what way’ there is only one way” You say annoyed

“Not really, you can give me head tho” “ew”

“Ew?!” Eren repeated you words clearly offended by it

“Yeah, ew” You confirm

“I’m hot, what are you on?” “Sure, if you wanna believe that” You mumble

“We both know that I’m hot, regardless of your delusional opinion” he says “actually, we should fuck since, you are hot, I’m hot, makes perfect sense”

“I will stab you to dead” You threaten him

“Shit sounds painful, let’s not do that” He said

This is chapter 3 of PARADI$E but okay

“I’m gonna miss you” “You’re being so dramatic” You said rolling your eyes

Eren chuckles “I’m not, this is the first time that we’re gonna be separated since, we met each other'”

"Have we spent every day together?” “Pretty much yeah”

“You liar”

“Okay fine not everyday, but we never have been separated for two whole weeks”

“Oh wow” You say “Finally getting peace”

He smiles “You’re gonna miss me” “We both know that, you’re gonna miss me more”

“Yeah, you right. I am” Eren admitted

If you wanna read more > BEEN LIKE THI$

You cannot tell me eren wouldn’t do this

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:Pt.1&Pt.2

//Pt.1

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// !

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Miyuki Kazuya

Blue lock

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Eren Yeager

BEEN LIKE THI$ // Eren Yeager X BlackFemReader

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just some general headcanons about actor!eren bc I like this au :-)

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: mentions of mental health issues, but I think that’s it!

Appearance:

• Eren is pretty tan
  
• He likes to spend time outside so he’s pretty friendly with the sun
  
• He has freckles
  
• (you can see them under the makeup in closeups on camera)
  
• He’s very athletic so he’s pretty muscular but in like a lean way
  
• He’s literally drop dead gorgeous
  
• Like he was cute as a kid/pre-teen but puberty hit him like a freaking truck
  
• Like between season 3 and 4 when puberty was finishing up for him he just like
  
• Changed into a god
  
• So if half the world wasn’t already in love with him they would be now
  
• That being said he doesn’t totally enjoy always being praised for his looks
  
• Like yeah once in a while but he’s had times where fans just reduce him to his face or his body and it makes him uncomfortable
  
• Like notice him for his talent too!!!!
  
• Speaking of his face, he has the literal most beautiful eyes ever
  
• When the show started airing there were thousands of posts asking whether or not that was his real eye color
  
• He confirmed that they are, in fact, his real eyes
  
• He’s tall but people don’t always realize it bc the rest of the cast (minus Levi lol) are also pretty tall
  
• So when people see him in real life/in pictures with other people they’re always like huh???!!!
  
• Bc he’s so good looking he’s done modeling for several luxury brands like Gucci, YSL, Versace, etc.
  
• Like he did an ad for the Versace Eros cologne and it wold out within 20 minutes of the ad being released
  
• He’s actually really fashionable
  
• I see him having similar style to people like Tom Holland, Taehyung from BTS, and Hyunjin from Stray Kids
  
• He’s got tons of hoodies too
  
• Perfect for stealing
  
• (Which the rest of the cast definitely does)
  

Background/How He Got Started:

• He has a background in boxing/martial arts that he started in because he got bullied when he was younger and needed an outlet for his emotions
  
• So he enrolled in some martial arts and gymnastics classes at a local gym and ended up really liking it
  
• He started gaining a small following before landing his role on AOT by posting boxing/martial arts vids and tutorials
  
• It helped him a lot when he got the job
  
• Speaking of which, AOT was his first role
  
• He had started taking acting lessons seriously after he did a few school plays and ended up applying for the open casting call that had been put out for AOT
  
• He actually almost didn’t end up submitting his audition bc he figured nothing would happen and they wouldn’t look twice at someone who had no real experience
  
• But the directors were like “oh my god this is exactly who we’re looking for where has he been all this time????!!!”
  
• Cause like they’d been having major trouble casting their main role
  
• The candidates were great and the auditions were good but no one really fit
  
• And then came Eren
  
• The directors were all like: oh my GOD???!!!!
  
• YOU ARE LITERALLY EREN FREAKING YEAGER???!!!!
  
• So it was no question that he was going to be Eren
  
• He had this haunting way of portraying Eren while also embodying how excited/angry he was in the first few seasons
  
• Plus he could already do tons of cool tricks!!!
  
• So it was a win-win situation
  

Personality:

• He can sometimes pretty reserved and quiet when he first meets people
  
• Which makes people think he’s kind of mean/standoffish and intimidating
  
• (Maybe it’s his resting bitch face)
  
• But he’s actually super chill and very fun when he gets comfortable
  
• He can be very affectionate to the people he’s close with i.e. the main cast and crew of AOT
  
• Lots of hugs and arms around shoulders and random friendly cheek pecks all around
  
• Expect to be attacked with a bear hug if he sees so much as a frown on anyone’s face
  
• He’s actually really funny
  
• Like he doesn’t try he’s just funny
  
• Idk how to explain it
  
• Like the facial expressions he makes when someone does something questionable?
  
• Iconic
  
• Theres hour long compilations on youtube of them
  
• Connie says something weird?
  
• Eren has a face for that
  
• Jean acts cute for his fans?
  
• Eren has a face for that
  
• Someone says they ship (idk) Mikasa and Zeke?
  
• EREN HAS A FACE FOR THAT
  
• AND THEY ARE ✨HYSTERICAL✨
  
• He spoils so much
  
• Because he forgets what has been revealed in the show and what’s been revealed in the manga
  
• And like people wonder if some of the stuff that happens in the manga is gonna happen in the show
  
• And sometimes he can’t remember so he just says stuff and then Zeke, Levi, and Hange have to do damage control
  
• Poor baby just sits there confused until he realizes
  
• He has this aura about him that puts people at ease
  
• Bc he’s very charismatic and charming and easygoing
  
• Someone makes a mistake? Hey, no biggie he’ll help them work on it and they’ll get it next time
  
• But he’s also very serious about his work
  
• Incredibly hard working and strives to be his best
  
• When he doesn’t feel like he did his best he can get very upset and depressed bc he’s actually also very self conscious
  
• Being in the spotlight all the time will do that to you
  
• But he’s working on it
  
• He actually had to have a psychologist on set for season 4-5 because of how bad it was getting and how much bad stuff he had to act like he was doing
  
• Like there’d be a torture scene and he’d feel like shit after having to do it even though everyone knew it was just acting
  
• But Eren doesn’t like it even if it’s fake
  
• (‘cause he’s lowkey a softie and very protective of the people he cares about)
  
• Also bc of the amount of just sheer bad stuff Eren the character does in the final two seasons and the amount of controversy surrounding the character he gets concerned
  
• Bc idk he works hard on the character and the show and he wants people to enjoy it yk
  
• But Eren has an amazing support group with the cast and crew
  
• And no matter what happens or how deep Eren gets in his mind
  
• They will always have his back
  

eren listens to “wet the bed” and “another round” by chris brown on repeat while driving you around after your valentines date. he screams the lyrics and swears he hits all the runs and notes perfectly.

Art dump for valentines because fanarts might take awhile Zzz

in the end Eren with a big dick is canon