Uncensored versions will always be available on twitter and patreon.
Enjoy some Armin getting ravaged by tentacles, inspired by him getting straight up throat fucked by a titan tongue in the comic lol. This one won’t hurt him much tho i promise.
Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Female Cadet Characters: Rating:NSFW Content: Bondage, blindfolding, knife play, masochistic behaviour, blood play, themes of BDSM, face slapping, choking, degradation, dacryphiliaaaaaa
Finally writing about my husband! Ugh I love him. I would PAY this man to slap me in the face holy shit.
WARNING!!! This is one of my more intense posts. Please be wary, this post involves cutting of a knife and being burnt. It features a lot of harm from Levi so if you are uncomfortable with that please do not continue reading. He. is. mean. to. you. That’s how I write him, so keep that in mind.
“Levi with all due respect this is the absolute worst.” Now you’ve done it. You just had to open your big mouth and argue against your captain. Sure, he was being a bit unfair but you’re a cadet! You have no place to argue against his orders. The rest of the squad looks at you, their eyes as wide as saucers as they watch on to see what Levi will bring upon you as punishment. But, it’s quiet. A bit too quiet for your liking, he simply inhales deeply and shuts his eyes. “Come to my quarters tonight.” His voice that sort of quiet that is chilling to the bone. Even Mikasa is intimidated by it. Granted, she’s younger than you but definitely one of the fiercest on the squad. You gulp loudly as a bead of cold sweat drips down your neck. Yeah… now you’ve really done it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hesitantly, your feet drag towards that hallway which held your fate. Who knows what the captain has in store for you. The thought of it makes you shiver as you reach his door at the very end of the corridor. “Come in, cadet.” Your knuckles hadn’t even touched the wood when his voice echoed from the other side of the door. You’d be lying if you said that the sudden sound of his voice didn’t make you slightly jump. Your fingers wrap around the cold handle, striking goosebumps over your arms. As you open the door, your eyes spot Levi sitting at a desk directly across from the entrance. “Closer.” He barely tears his attention away from the scattered papers. You fiddle with your fingertips and step further towards his desk where he finally looks up and stops writing. His harsh eyes seem to pierce right through to your soul. You shift the weight on your feet and glance around the room, trying to avoid eye contact.
“Care to explain what that was earlier?” He sits back and cocks an eyebrow, waiting for your answer. “Not only did you talk back but you also didn’t even care to acknowledge me as your captain.” All you can really do to answer back is mumble incoherently under your breath, obviously regretting your actions. “Speak up, cadet.” His intimidating voice sent a shock down your spine. He was now standing, obviously growing impatient. You muster up all of your courage to look up at him. “I apologise, Captain. I was completely out of line.” You pray for him to accept it and let you go. Any moment spent stuck in this room with him was laced with pure anxiety. “Yes. You were. This isn’t even the first occasion too. How much longer do you think you’ll get away with these childish games?” He steps further towards you, leaning against his deck with his arms crossed. You mumble once more causing Levi to scoff. “Did I not tell you to speak up?” He asks, his hand tangling into your hair and giving it a slight tug to tilt your head back and present your neck. A move to show that you’re completely vulnerable to him. “Yes sir.” You squeak. Not expecting his sudden movements at all. The tiny pull against you hair takes you back to nights alone with a certain other cadet, your cheeks flush red at the memory. “Why so timid now? You clearly weren’t afraid to speak up earlier.” He pulls harder earning a quiet gasp. Levi steps back and lets go. “You enjoying this, cadet?” His tone is almost accusing rather than questioning. You’re at a complete loss for words. Embarrassed that you really did that in front of your captain. You eyes trail down his figure, stopping at his noticeable semi, it even appears that he takes notice of your wanding attention. “Seems you’re not learning at all.” He barely gives you any time to react to his words before he grips your wrist and drags you over to his bed in the corner, throwing you harshly.
“What are you-!” “Shut up.” He slips his belt off with an intimidating ease and wraps it around your wrists, tying you to the bed frame. You wriggle to try and slip free, ultimately failing. “Captain! I’m sorry!” He huffs tiredly and pulls a slim piece of fabric out of his nightstand. Much to your surprise, he ties it around your head, covering your eyes from seeing anything. “You need to learn. It seems a stern few words aren’t gonna work against you.” With the loss of your sight, you whimper. Relying purely on the dull sounds of his movements around the room. The familiar unsheathing of his sword throws you into a panic. “Wait wait wait! Captain please-!” The tip of the blade touches your hip, specifically where your shirt ends. In one swift movements, the swords runs right up the middle, cutting off all the buttons and exposing your chest to him. You tremble, feeling a slight cut against the skin over your ribs. His warm hand grazes over one of your hips as he inhales deeply. “Completely bare. Safe to assume it’s the same down here?” He asks, perching the blade against the hem of your pants. No warning, he cuts it open as well, narrowly avoiding causing further damage to your skin. It’s just as he assumed, completely bare for presentation. You barely know what to make of it all. The cool air blows against your already icy skin. “Sir-” “I told you to shut up. That’s an order.” A familiar scent of tobacco fills the room. The potent smell invades your nose, letting you know he was smoking. “Honestly, cadet. You get away with everything. Why do you think that is?” He takes another drag and blows the smoke into your unsuspecting face. You cough back against the cloud. “It’s because you’re a brat. Not to mention cute. You think you can bat your eyelashes and get away with murder. No. This punishment was always going to happen one way or another.” He sounds almost confident in his words, as if he had been studying your behaviour. He smiles maliciously, brushing your hair behind your ears. “So don’t blame anyone else but yourself for everything that happens next.” An overwhelming burning sensation erupts onto your collarbone, leaving you to thrash against your binds and cry out in pain. It’s briefly taken away before placed back down beside the first burn. Over and over until the heat started to cool down and wouldn’t leave any more marks. You whimper and bite your bottom lip, trying not to let your tears fall from underneath the blindfold. Levi’s hand reaches up and softly holds your cheek, his actions the complete opposite of what he just did. “Such pretty marks. I’ll show you.” he slips the fabric off and throws it back on his nightstand. It takes a moment for your watering eyes to adjust back to the light but once you look down, you notice obvious burns from a cigarette scattered across your chest. They were rather pretty, to a masochist that is.
“Now, what I do next… you can’t look away from.” He warns while walking back over to his desk where he fetches a small knife. “I want you to watch what happens when you act out of line.” Levi climbs onto the bed and wraps your legs around his waist to sit between them. As much as you want to, you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from his hand that holds the knife, unsure as to what he was planning. At an almost teasingly slow pace, he presses the blade against your hip, just barely breaking the skin. “A bitch needs to have her owners name on them, perhaps it’ll teach them to behave.” He smirks, forcing the blade further into your flesh and dragging it down. You shriek at the sensation, barely able to hold back from crying. You legs wrap tighter around from him, trying to tell him that it hurts too much. “Captain-” His hand strikes against your cheek, leaving you dumbfounded. “Seems the bitch can’t even obey orders. Shame.” With your eyes peering down, you notice he’s cut the shape of an L into your hip. Almost your whole body aches. Your cheek from the slap, your chest from the burns and now your hip as he begins to carve the E. Tears roll down your cheeks and land onto the mattress below. “Crying, cadet? How pathetic.” His hand covered in your dripping blood wraps around your neck, cutting off most of your air yet not enough for you to pass out. “Whose fault is this? Answer me.” He growls, finishing off the V. “Mine!” You hiss, trying not to use up the only air that you can get. ‘Good girl. Seems someone’s learning.” Purely out of satisfaction from your answer, he makes the final letter significantly faster than the last three. He had only dragged it out to be agonising because you had simply refused to acknowledge your fault. You blood trickles down, staining the sheets below. His name now carved into your hip, you whimper at the stinging that doesn’t appear to be easing up any time soon.
Levi stands to his feet and unbinds your hands. You look up at him with confusion. Isn’t he going to… you know? His eyes don’t even consider glancing down to you, he simply turns and sits back at his desk. Almost as if he were ignoring what just happened. You sit up slowly, still unsure as to what happens now. “Uh… Captain?” “You’re excused cadet. Go clean yourself up. I expect you to listen to orders from now on.” What the fuck? You tediously step off the bed and hold your ripped shirt shut. Was that really it? Your feet carry you back towards the door that seemed so frightening not too long ago. “Oh and cadet?” You glance back at him, not expected to hear anything else. “You are to meet me at my quarters after every training. It seems you haven’t learnt at all.” You nod your head and turn your back to him. A slight smile creeping on your lips. So he has a plan for you after all…
__________________________________________________________________ Sorry for the short post teehee I’ll be posting one where he actually does the sexy times but I just wanted to write this scenario because BARK BARK WOOF brand me Levi
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Scout Reader Characters: Eren Jaeger, Hange Zoë Rating: NSFW Content: Voyeurism, overpowering/manhandling, choking, knife play, edging, creampie, crying, he do be kinda rough doe O_O
Okay so y’all know how much I simp for Levi but Eren be hitting kinda different lately. Also while finishing writing this I was drunk again so like sorry if it makes no sense
This is set in the Season 4 time where Eren is 19. Also don’t worry! There are no spoilers for the final season in here :) but there may be some spoilers for the other 3 seasons so please be cautious if you haven’t caught up! Also this one is also lowkey a bit dark, Eren’s a manipulative little shit who also slightly cuts you with a blade, but he knows your limits and will stop if you want!
For context: Eren has been locked up in a cell and you’ve requested to speak with him
You never liked the lower level of the building. It’s always been so dark and cold, somewhere you never thought you’d willingly go to. “If I may, why is it you wanna see Eren again?” Hange asks, spinning a key around on their slim fingers. Your keep your eyes to the ground, watching as you take those last few steps down the poorly built, stone staircase. “Figured I should check up on him. It’s been a while and I really haven’t had much time alone with him since…” Your mind takes you back to the days that felt just that little more simpler. When it was just standing on the wall and watching for titans that may try and breach, the thought of traitors far from anyone’s mind. “Well… it’s been a few years I can tell you that.” You chuckle to yourself. Hange flashes you a sympathetic smile as you reach the wooden door that connects to the room of cells. “I can’t really say for certain but who knows, maybe he’ll be happy there’s someone to come see him.” They push open the door. Your feet carry you to the very last cell, the one you knew Eren would be held in. Now only being the time where you look up. Your eyes catch against his strident green, intense, cold enough to make you step back.
“Eren.” You exhale, glancing down at his figure. Since you saw him last he’s grown exponentially. His body seems slimmer and his hair now long and tied back into a half-bun. You curse yourself for looking just that little bit longer at his exposed upper-half. Hange stands by your side, giving him a slight warning through their eyes to behave. You peep at the key still held between their fingers. “Hange–?” You bite your thumb nail, wondering whether or not you should ask. “Could I please step inside?” Hange seems taken aback, mumbling something about dangerous prisoners. Yet, they hesitantly agree. Eren’s eyes have never left your face almost as if he were studying it, trying to memorise every little feature. You smile warmly at Hange, thanking them for being so lenient. With one click of the lock, the metal door swings open. Creaking in its old age. You take a deep breath before stepping inside.
“I’ll let you speak privately, if you need me please call out, Y/N.” Hange announces before taking their leave. Here you stand, face-to-face with Eren Jeager. You look around the cell, fairly bigger than what you expected. A rotted looking sink stands against the wall to your left with a sorry excuse for a bed on the right. “What do you want.” His voice made it out as a question but his face was that of one who didn’t care for an answer. You walk past him and sit against the far wall. “Is it so awful to want to see a friend?” You ask as you watch him slowly make his way over to you. “Is that what we are?” He crouches down in front of you, balancing on the tips of his feet. “Friends?” There was something sinister about his words, one that you had never heard before. Sure, there was angry Eren but this was something new entirely. “Call it what you may, I wanted to come see you.” You say, raising an eyebrow. Eren laughs coldly. “How noble of you.” He tilts his head, the loose hairs around his face falling to the side. “I see you’re still as stubborn as ever.” You spit back, slightly surprised at yourself for becoming so defensive. Eren stands to his feet. “I never asked you to come here.” He states, venom dripping from his words. “Oh so you like being alone here with no one to talk to. My mistake.” You huff, annoyed that he won’t even make the effort to hold a conversation. “Yeah. Your mistake.” His words make you scoff yet he pays no mind to you. He just simply stares into the mirror above the sink. “You know what–” You throw your hands on your hips. “Fuck you, Eren. You may be a founding fucking titan or whatever but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with your shit.” You huff angrily before stomping over to the cell door. “Han–” Your call for Hange is swiftly cut off by Eren’s hand over your mouth.
Eren stands with his back pressed to yours, his free hand just barely grazing over your hip. “Nice to see you still have that fire to you.” He whispers in your ear. The hairs on your arms stand on end. You throw your head to the side, removing your mouth from his hand. “Get the fuck off of me, asshole. You had your shot to play nice.” Eren chuckles to himself. “You really think I’m trying to play nice?” A chill runs down your spine. “Tell me… you still keep a knife strapped to your thigh?” You feel the cool metal of a blade tip perched beneath your chin, unable to comprehend when he even grabbed it. “Extra protection. Seems I let my guard down.” You exhale, working double-time to think of ways you can get out safely. Eren grazes his fingertips over the wraps of leather on your thigh. “Seems so.” He presses the knife deeper against your skin, still not hard enough to break through. Your head tilts back onto his shoulder, avoiding being cut. “Alright alright what is it you want Eren.” You scoff, wondering whether or not he was wanting something out of you. “Oh…?” He pauses as his hand trails further up to your hip. “What happened to ‘fuck you’?” He asks, mocking your angry tone. “Unless you meant that as a request.” Eren’s lips graze over your exposed neck. His hot breath makes you shiver. “Get the hell off of me.” You command through clenched teeth. Eren seems unfazed, keeping you pressed against his muscular body. “Why did you really come here?” He asks, now connecting his lips to the sweet spot on your neck. “I already t-told you.” You words shake at his contrasting actions. The soft kisses but knife still pressed to your chin. “Eren this isn’t funny.” You whine, dropping your defensive state.
“Never said it was.” His free hand reaches up to your chest making no hesitation to grope at you. Eren slips his knee between your legs, keeping you held up against the cell bars. You resist the urge to rock your hips against him, not wanting to give in to his sadistic nature. “What’s wrong? You were so quick to cuss me out before and not your lips are sealed shut.” You know that if you were to open your mouth you’d slip out a sound you don’t dare for him to hear. “Sh-shut up.” He presses the knife harder against your skin, causing you to wince. You feel the tip of blade pierce into your flesh. A shiver runs down your back with a sensation completely foreign to your body. Sure, you’ve been hurt in battle, but this is something different entirely. Eren takes notice of the small stream of blood trickling down your neck. With your eyes still intensely watching him, he licks the blade clean before grazing it up your thigh. With no stress on your neck, you let your head hang back down. “Oh no you fucking don’t.” Eren hisses before choking you with his free hand. You throw your head back onto his shoulder, gasping for air. The trail of blood from your neck soaks into your shirt collar, staining it a bright red.
The blade slowly travels from your thigh to your crotch. You shudder at the sensation through your pants, almost aching for stimulation. Your hips rock forward against it. Eren snickers at your desperation. “So that’s what you want huh?” He tears the seam of your pants with the knife, leaving you completely exposed. The cool metal taps gently against your clit. You gasp for air due to both disbelief and his hand still wrapped around your neck. With his saliva still coated against the sharpened tip, he rubs the blade against you, almost as if he were using it to replace fingers. A groan echoes from the back of your throat, your eyes water at the pleasure. “P-please Eren–” You whisper breathily, gripping his working wrist with both hands. “Don’t- don’t stop.” You scream at yourself internally for giving in to your masochistic side, but it just feels too good. “How cute. Gonna come against your own blade?” He teases, rubbing it faster against you. Your back arches off of him with your head still resting on his shoulder. “Eren–!” You gasp, vastly approaching an orgasm that you hadn’t expected to have. One of your hands abandons his wrist to grip the back of his neck, digging your nails into his skin. Eren laughs lowly. His chest rumbles against your back. “Keep saying my name like that.” He whispers into your ear. “E-echoes down here, don’t w-want Hange to hear.” You whine, already feeling your muscles slight spasms through your build-up. He inhales deeply. “Alright then.” Just as you veer over the edge, Eren takes away the blade. Denying you of your orgasm.
You eyes dart up to his, desperation made painfully clear as you look at his with furrowed brows. “Eren what the fu–” “You’re the one who said you didn’t want them to hear.” He smirks. You catch your tongue between your teeth, frustrated at his deliberate obedience. “I just… I meant…” “Meant what?” He asks, returning his lips to your neck. Your cheeks flush to a bright red, embarrassed that you let yourself fall to his mercy so easily. “Aww what’s wrong?” Eren cooes, tilting your head up and forcing you to look back into his eyes. Your lips just barely grazing his. “You wanna come that badly?” You whimper, letting your hips urge forward towards his wrist that still hung right by your thigh. Even though you say no words, he understands completely. The blade swiftly returns back to your clit, the icy feel once again taking you by surprise. You knees start to give out but Eren is quick to hook one over his arm, spreading yourself further out on display. Your eyes dart down to his actions. It all appears so sadistically enchanting. With Eren whispering viciously degrading words in your ear, it takes even less time to return back to the build-up you had craved. Your moans turn to whines of approval as you grow all the more closer. So close. You just need that little bit more. Eren chuckles deeply removing the blade. A sound that could only come close to a growl escapes from your mouth. “Patience.” He smiles maliciously. The blade returns, your body jolts at the sudden stimulation from your edging. You seem to pick up right from where you were, just at the edge.
Eren repeats edging you over and over again. You fight back the tears of desperation welling in your eyes. It feels as if a singular touch could send you to your climax. Eren raises the blade and brings it down onto your clit, smacking you with the side of the knife. Just as suspected, you fall to the ground. Your muscles spasming through your orgasm that feels twice as intense as usual. Eren looks down at you with a shit-eating grin. “Like being smacked that much?” He teases. With your body still trembling, you look up into his eyes. “F-fuck you.” Your whiney and breathy tone seems to make him laugh. “Maybe if you ask nicely.” He titters, squatting back down to your level. His natural musk fills your nose sending your eyes rolling back as you flutter your eyelashes. Erens thumb rests on your chin. “Seems it won’t take too much convincing.” You slap his hand away and stand to your feet as best as possibly with shaking legs. His slick smile sets ablaze a fiery anger to your chest. “What’re you smirking at?” You huff, gripping the bars of the cell door for balance. With his eyes still fixated on yours, he licks the blade clean once more. You feel that familiar electricity of arousal stir in your core as he slowly steps towards you, caging you in by gripping the bars by your head. Eren dips his head down, lips brushing over your own. His slight breaths fan against your top lip. It’s too much to handle. There’s something animalistic within you that needs him to take you right there. You slightly scold yourself all the while unable to think about anything else. His harsh green eyes pierce right into your soul before he takes a breath. One of his hands hooking his thumb in the hem of his pants. “Beg or I won’t do it.” You trail your hand up his bare chest and rub yourself against his hardened crotch. “Please, Eren…” You whimper, tugging his pants down for him. ~~~~~ Eren slips between your legs, the tip of his cock hovering by your entrance. You whimper in anticipation. He pushes himself inside, leaving no time for you to adjust to him. You gasp at the sudden sensation. His cock stretching you out more than you’ve ever felt before. Your legs almost give out but he hooks his arms under your knees and holds you in the air, forcing you to bounce on him. You utterly fail to keep yourself from moaning. Your mind going completely blank from anything that isn’t how badly you want him. You hands snake to the back of his neck, desperate to hold on to something. “I’ve barely even fucked you and you’re already this needy?” He scoffs, making you to bounce faster as he thrusts up. The overwhelming pressure in your hips forces you to whine, his size was one you hadn’t anticipated in the slightest. As Eren whispers dirty praises in your ear, you tighten around him. “Come on, pretty girl. I wanna watch you fall apart.” He hums before biting down on your neck and carrying you over towards the sink where he watches you through the mirror. You don’t know if it’s his thrusts or the sight of yourself falling completely slave to his cock, but the intensity grows. You cry out his name and beg for release, an action you never thought you’d be doing. Especially not with him. Eren’s eyes remain trained on your flushed face, your tongue slightly sticking out from your mouth. “Good girl. You’re gonna come when I tell you, okay?” He whispers, sending chills down your spine. Quiet whimpers are all you can muster for a response, yet, he seems to understand. With his speed doubling over, the burning sensation in your stomach grows to hot, white blazes. Through watery eyes, you see Eren smirking with his lips just barely grazing your neck where he sunk his teeth into. With one sudden snap of his hips, you cry out. Begging him for the release that you craved. Eren sneers at your noises of pure pleasure that can’t help but escape past your parted lips. Even as you reach that climb, just barely holding back from reaching your climax, you obey his orders. Not letting yourself get the release that’s clouded your mind with lust. “Okay okay I’ll stop teasing,” He laughs, running his tongue over the bite marks on your neck. “Come for me.” Three simple words is all it takes for you to come completely undone. Your legs and hips tremble in his strong arms that still keep you held out on display. You feel his chest heaving against your back.
Following suit of your orgasm, he lets you back down. With no further warning, you’re bent over in front of him. “W-wait! Slow down!” You cry out as he suddenly thrusts himself further into your insides than you thought possible. You can already feel the aching in your hips from his vicious movements. Eren grabs a handful of your hair and pulls your head back for you to look at him. “Slow down? That won’t do.” With a slick smile he snaps his hips harder into you, reaching further than before. You let out a scream of pain, not caring at this point if anyone hears. You insides feel as though they’re tearing. You wince and groan, unable to form any sort of sentence. Eren growls and tightens his grip on your wrists that fit in just one of his hands. “Aww I bet it hurts real bad huh?” He teases, landing a slap on your ass. You can already feel the handprint turning bright red. Tears stream from your eyes as you choke for air. “Please Eren!” Your voice breaks as you beg for him to ease up. Your body becoming completely overstimulated. He simply ignores your cries and continues brutally thrusting inside you. The hand gripping your hips already leaving deep blue bruises. You unconsciously tighten around him, forcing a sharp inhale from his lips. “Don’t fucking do that.” He groans. His voice makes it seem like a threat but you know too well that he wants more.
You can feel the knot in your stomach tightening once more. Your face flushes to a bright red along with your chest. Eren takes notice and smirks down at you. “Gonna come for a third time?” He asks cockily. You babble incoherently, still not able to speak as he rams himself harder inside you. You know that he’s also close, you can tell from his moans. They’re deeper and breathier than before, almost as if he were whining. “You’re gonna be a good girl and take it all.” He commands, pulling your hair back once more. You nod and squeeze your eyes shut, chasing your own orgasm as he does the same. You assist him by tightening again, this time on purpose. Eren throws his head back, moaning out you name. “Fuck- like that–” He praises, snapping his hips just that little bit faster to reach his climax. Just as you begin yours, he does the same. You barely notice his cum filling you up as you begin to tremble for the third time. You fall to the ground, removing yourself from his cock. His last spurts of cum land on your back. You can feel yourself dripping, making a mess of the cell floor. Eren laughs during his heavy panting. “Didn’t think there’d be that much.” He says eyeing off the dirtied floor. You half-laugh back and wipe your eyes from the tears that were trapped in the corners. “Fuck you, man.” You huff, looking back at his face that hasn’t seemed to change from a smug smile. Eren kneels down and plants a kiss on your neck. “Visit me again sometime when you feel empty.” He winks. Eren stands to his feet and heads back over to the worn-out sink. “Oh and by the way, have fun explaining your screams to Hange.” He snickers, glancing at you from over his shoulder. ___________________________________________________________ The knife part have me hella killing stalking vibes omfg jknbhvgcfxd strummingmypainnnnnnnnnn Also just to clear up- in this post, I used they/them for Hange because I don’t want to misgender as the creator of AOT himself hasn’t confirmed their gender stating that “Hange’s gender identity is not important to the story he’s telling, and so he wanted to give readers the freedom to come up with their own interpretations.” So yeah just wanted to clear that up, I will typically always refer to Hange as they/them :) I FUCKING FINALLY GOT THIS DONE istg if this doesn’t get some hype I’ll be saltier than Tsukishima in the ocean
you could tell during sex that he was admiring your body when he slowed down. always, you could tell.
even if you had been on the brink of your orgasm, pussy about to soak him and strangle his dick with how hard it made you cum, he would stop dead in his tracks to salivate over your body.
he lived for your shape, the way your body was so ripe and full– plump, taught creases where your thighs met your sides from how far he bent you over. that round, plush ass he loved to see flatten against his pelvis every time he threw his hips into you. he’d been doing it before, fucking you with a patient passion that held a steady cadence of soft, wet claps filling the room. you sang the hell out of his name over them. he had to bite his lip, frowning deeply at the combination of seeing your ass rippling all the way up your tummy and back and down to your thighs each time he fucked his dick into you, and the feeling of that hot honey inside your pussy… the same that he wanted to stir up to drool over his cock, the same he wanted to taste all night with his devil-gifted tongue. your pussy could fucking kill him, he swears on everything. it’s so hot… that shit chokes his dick like he would not believe if he hadn’t felt it. that gushing wet, slick, creamy pussy that loved him so much that it wouldn’t let him go each time he pulled out, that sucked him back in no matter how he moved. you had cat that would start wars between nations and he knew it. he could only moan. o n l y m o a n, that pussy was so good. words couldn’t find him when he felt those walls start munching, when he could feel your cervix squishing kisses at the tip of his cockhead. those moans of his keep coming the weaker he gets, keep vibrating low in his chest, giving the bassline to your melody, to his rhythm now being bucked into you again. he watches his dick sink into you, disappearing deep into that golden brown flesh that contrasted so perfectly with his own… and coming out glistening with your juice and your cream all over it, rolling down his sack and down the inside of your legs.
and when you fucking cum, when you convulse and scream out for him while that pussy eats him whole, when you make him lose his sight and make his ears ring from how hard you make him bust, deep deep in you… as far as he could go…
bunni: was flustering p then got like….myeah. thank you @kireirengoku for betaing!! also if there’s typos m sorry it’s late also sorry if it feels rushed at the end again it’s laaate. i just wanted to scream bc h word
cw: just the tip, cream pie, f!reader, fuckin :( MDNI
you want me to keep going? what’s with the change of heart?
you knew what you said before – just the tip, something quick and fast. something to get him off of you. eren’s been all over you, touching and gripping at your plush, sensitive spots. but now that he’s inside you can’t help but regret everything you said, need starting to pool in the depths of your stomach. you needed him deeper, needed his cock to sink deeper and kiss at your most sweetest places.
you tugged at eren’s shirt, whimpering before you gather your thoughts and words together. more. deeper. the two words on your mind, and he knew. he could tell the tip wasn’t going to satisfy that needy cunt, taking delight in knowing that you were close to cracking. he could feel the way you clenched around his shaft, chuckled at the way you wiggled your hips in a desperate attempt to feel more of his dick. the pace of his thrusts were ruthless, teasing even. painfully slow and lazy as he waited for those magic words.
please…want more, want it deeper….
the whimper in your plea was enough for eren to sink his cock into your slippery pussy, giving you what you craved. cries for ren caused him to throb and twitch while he was balls deep. you swore you were gonna break at one point, the way his hips snapped abruptly, your thighs drenched in a mixture of your pleasure.
the base of his shaft had a creamy ring around it after what seemed like forever, load after load filling you up until you couldn’t hold anymore. “that’s right baby, take it. every fucking inch. you like being full don’t you, like feeling me right here, yeah?” eren grunted, fucking another load of his cum into you. incoherent babbling was all that left your lips, the coils of pleasure pulling every which way until it finally snaps. you were spent, chest rising and falling as kisses tickled your neck and large hands pulled you in closer to eren’s chest.
bunni: was flustering p then got like….myeah. thank you @kireirengoku for betaing!! also if there’s typos m sorry it’s late also sorry if it feels rushed at the end again it’s laaate. i just wanted to scream bc h word
cw: just the tip, cream pie, f!reader, fuckin :( MDNI
you want me to keep going? what’s with the change of heart?
you knew what you said before – just the tip, something quick and fast. something to get him off of you. eren’s been all over you, touching and gripping at your plush, sensitive spots. but now that he’s inside you can’t help but regret everything you said, need starting to pool in the depths of your stomach. you needed him deeper, needed his cock to sink deeper and kiss at your most sweetest places.
you tugged at eren’s shirt, whimpering before you gather your thoughts and words together. more. deeper. the two words on your mind, and he knew. he could tell the tip wasn’t going to satisfy that needy cunt, taking delight in knowing that you were close to cracking. he could feel the way you clenched around his shaft, chuckled at the way you wiggled your hips in a desperate attempt to feel more of his dick. the pace of his thrusts were ruthless, teasing even. painfully slow and lazy as he waited for those magic words.
please…want more, want it deeper….
the whimper in your plea was enough for eren to sink his cock into your slippery pussy, giving you what you craved. cries for ren caused him to throb and twitch while he was balls deep. you swore you were gonna break at one point, the way his hips snapped abruptly, your thighs drenched in a mixture of your pleasure.
the base of his shaft had a creamy ring around it after what seemed like forever, load after load filling you up until you couldn’t hold anymore. “that’s right baby, take it. every fucking inch. you like being full don’t you, like feeling me right here, yeah?” eren grunted, fucking another load of his cum into you. incoherent babbling was all that left your lips, the coils of pleasure pulling every which way until it finally snaps. you were spent, chest rising and falling as kisses tickled your neck and large hands pulled you in closer to eren’s chest.
Word count: 5338 Content and warnings: Levi Ackerman x Reader, reader is fembodied, no pronouns are used for reader, mostly smut but there is some plot, you used to be on levi’s team when he was in the underground and you’re the only one who didn’t join the survey corps w him, he returns to the underground every once in a while and sees you again, just nice fluffy smut no crazy kinks or anything, levi calls you good girl, he holds your wrists together once, i only use “Y/N” once towards the end Notes: not proof read, find it on ao3 here, i’m p :) about this heheh Networks:@http-404-error-unknown,@planetonet
Levi doesn’t return to the Underground much, but every once in a while he goes back.
Sometimes it’s to see if he can find Kenny, once to investigate the ODM gear being illegally sold there, and sometimes he just wants to see if maybe there’s another life he can salvage.
But in the twists and turns he takes, his hooded form sees someone he hasn’t seen in years,
Going back home after a night out, dizzy, no worries or inhibitions in your system, to sunder into your boyfriend’s bed, kiss his cheek and find his cock as he stirs awake and you masturbate him, making him harder and harder until he wakes fully up, and deadpan looks at you in the eyes: “You had fun, at the gathering,” he states sleepily but enjoying the attention his shaft is getting from your hand. You smile at him, because you both know he’s right, but the only thing you can think about right know is how must it feel good to sit on his girthy cock and ride him until you’re a panting mess.
“Yes,” you answer hastily, as you take off your clothes. “But my favourite part is just about to start,” you conclude as your lips clash together and it’s a matter of moments that you find yourself being split into, and your boyfriend drilling into your hole as if that was his life call.
warnings; mentions of pegging, dumbification, just dick in general
authors note; i normally never thirst for levi, like at all, but this just came to my mind and i’m like yk the entire app needs to hear about this
let’s talk about levi’s ackerdick!
ok for starters, id like to point out that he was extremely malnourished as a child which means there is totally a chance of it being on the smaller side. in my opinion, it’s pretty small- 4.1 inches. while levi’s strength and stamina is immeasurable, his dick just does not apply to that. it’s a nice contrast though.
(levi simps and stans, please don’t beat me up this is just a headcanon and there is nothing wrong with having a short dick! after all, it’s about the way you use it)
he’s uncut, but i’d imagine most men in aot are. after all, the walls are stuck in medieval times and technology and medical tools aren’t that great. it doesn’t matter though, he keeps himself clean down there so no funky shit grows.
now the color? oh boy, he’s got such a nice pale dick it’s cute. and the tip flushes a really pretty shade of baby pink. if you’ve got him REALLY aroused though it’ll turn just a tad deeper.
this may surprise some of you but his dick is… really smooth. almost too smooth. it’s really soft and nice and there’s only one semi distinct vein on the shaft. it doesn’t really curve either, it’s straight.
do the curtains match the drapes, if you know what i mean? yes, in fact they do! levi keeps himself very tidy down there, trimming regularly and never going full on jumanji down there unless on a long mission. he’s got a happy trail too, it’s a dull black and leads up to his navel. and there’s a few gray hairs in there because he’s aging, but it looks great nonetheless.
now for the really juicy stuff. levi’s cock is so so so goddamn sensitive! it twitches at the smallest thing, making him fail to stifle a moan. when you first pull his pants down, he covers his face with his arm because he finds it embarrassing to look all flustered in front of you.
now he rarely takes control when you’re having sex, but every once in a while if you’re being a tease, he will just use that godly strength of his to pin you down and fuck you until you’re dumb. to top it all off, he will bury himself in you and cum right there and after pulling out, marvel at the sight of his release dripping out of your hole. if you’re being exceptionally bad, he will let you have a taste just to let you know how much of a slut you are.
there’s times where you’re in control too, though. it’ll take some convincing but he might let you peg him at some point. the whole time he’s whining and whimpering for you to go faster and harder and rougher even though he acted like it was going to be a chore at first. his pretty dick and balls are swinging wildly, and he’s holding back tears because this whole sense of being filled up is so new to him. eventually he will feel his balls tighten and dick twitch rapidly until his sweet release makes a puddle on the sheets where he’s laying above.
*JUST SO YALL DONT ATTACK ME I KNOW ERWIN ISNT A DILF CAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE KIDS AND NICCOLO ISNT NORMAL CAUSE HE ALMOST KILLED A CHILD BUT YK WHAT CLOSE ENOUGH
Genre: War AU, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Summary: Would you love someone if your days are numbered? A tragic love story between a soldier who’s trying to find a purpose in life and a blind girl who is stripped away of her freedom.
Content Warnings: Graphic description of death and murder, sexual assault on women, oppression, physical abuse, alcohol consumption, swearing.
A twenty-one-year-old boy, with eyes greener than the forest under the blazing sun, choked on his alcohol. It was his fifth time drinking one, but he never did it out of his own desire. Being a new soldier in the Marleyan army meant that he had to obey what his seniors ordered him to do. Whether it was to lay his weapon on his shoulder and chug on a bottle of vodka during duty, or behead a prisoner and watch their blood drenching the snow. The young soldier never had an option.
A soldier should not ask questions even when they are dying from curiosity. He had learned it the hard way during training. That was why he always pretended like he understood—andaccepted—everything that was happening around him. That was just how the world naturally worked. The world was cruel. There was no beauty in it. Only those who had tossed away their hearts and conscience could survive. Have a heart and you’ll die before the next sunrise, that was what he was taught during his first month of service.
The dark brown-haired boy, known by the name Eren Kruger, rubbed his nape. He had his shoulder-length hair cut short ever since he joined the army, giving him a fresh undercut look that failed to protect his nape from the winter breeze. His skin was sun-kissed but crimson still painted the tips of his ears, a sign that his body was sensitive to cold, even when he was dressed warmly in a thick beige coat—a Marleyan uniform that he wore with a proud look on his face and shame in his chest. Kruger was not his real surname but it was the name he had to get familiar with.
Eren was one of the latest additions to the Marleyan army that “protected” their neighbor country, Eldian. At least, that was how he was told anyway. Deep down inside, he always had a different belief of his own. Marley wasn’t protecting the Eldians from other countries that wanted its minerals and natural resources. Marley was monopolizing Paradis and made it its slave for their benefit. But Eren knew better not to speak his thoughts aloud. He still valued his life too much, no matter how meaningless his life felt to him at the moment.
But then again, why must his life matter when people around him were dying just because they tried to find their sanctuaries? Why must he fill his life with laughter when children were getting beaten to the ground, their heads smashed under combat boots, just because they asked for more bread?
The world was unfair, and Eren used to be scared of hell. But this… This life he was living at the moment… It already tasted like one.
“Excuse me?” Eren tried to keep his voice down. Being in the middle of the winter season was already enough reason for his cheeks to bloom in the color of the evening sky. He did not need the older man to make him look even more flustered.
“I’m asking you, kid.” A man who was in his late thirties scratched the untrimmed beard on his chin. His name was Theo Magath, a strict commander of Eren’s division. Although he was nine centimeters shorter than the younger soldier, Magath was stronger and more experienced in every way. Eren feared him the most, though the other man regarded him as his new companion on battlefields. “Have you ever slept with a girl before?”
“Permission to speak freely, Sir?”
“Permission granted.”
Eren still hesitated, teeth nibbling against the inside of his cheeks. “Forgive me if I’m rude, but,” he cautiously spoke as he bowed down a little and returned the bottle to the older man. “I believe you’ve drunk too much of this.”
“And you’ve drunk too little,” the man said, his laugh boisterous when he pushed the alcohol to Eren’s chest. “Go drink up a little more.”
“But we’re on duty.”
“Yeah, to watch a bunch of teenagers collects those damn branches from the wood,” Magath scoffed. “I doubt they’re gonna start up a revolution any moment from now, so drink.”
“Sir—”
“Drink.”
The way mirth in his voice suddenly vanished almost sent shivers down his spine. Eren nodded, taking another sip. He knew his tolerance limit and he wouldn’t pass it. He only swallowed the liquid to be polite and perhaps, just to keep himself warm. He didn’t intend to be drunk like the older soldier.
“I haven’t,” Eren admitted with a quiet voice. “I haven’t… done it with anyone.”
“Thought so.” Magath chuckled. “When’s your birthday?”
“March thirtieth.”
“It’s still a couple of months from now, huh?” The man yawned loudly, and puffs of warm breaths appeared in the cold air. “Hey, why don’t we celebrate early? I’ll get you the best girl from our place. You can take a few hours off and have fun with her. Think of it as a birthday present from me.”
That place, Eren knew, was referring to the military brothel that was stationed at their campsite. On some nights, those girls came to visit their barracks and perform their duties as the Comfort Women to satisfy the soldiers’ needs. And any other times, officers would stand properly in line, waiting to enter one of the twenty rooms in the brothel to satisfy their sexual desire.
It was always physical, nothing more and nothing less. They were used as toys—objects to fill the men’s thirsts. They were not prostitutes; they were forced to become one. Those young girls were kidnapped from the streets or, more often, deceived by the Marleyan government that they would get a better future if they worked for them. They ended up working as sex slaves—each person serving about a hundred military personnel per month, and if they weren’t cooperative, they would get beaten to death.
Their bodies belonged to the army, raped and tortured.
Eren never came to visit that place. He hated it with all his heart, every nerve of his body shouting in disgust. And whenever those women came to their barracks, he would leave with his shotgun strapped to his back, disappearing into the woods. He preferred spending the night sorting out his thoughts near the frozen lake than forcing himself on some lady he didn’t know. Even the thought of it made him nauseous. It was wrong. Those women never deserved to be treated that way, but Eren was weak and powerless. There was nothing he could do.
“No, thank you,” Eren declined, feeling agitated all of a sudden. “I’m fine.”
“What, do you prefer men?”
“No, Sir. I just…” The boy took a deep breath, calming himself down and trying to sound less offensive. He put a lot of effort into not saying things like ‘I don’t want to commit more sins than I already have done’ or ‘it stands against my values to rape women, unlike you and the rest of immoral idiots here’. After a few seconds of battling inside his head, he decided to utter, “I just don’t feel like it.”
It was safe. It was simple. It was a lie.
“You don’t feel like having sex?” Magath snorted, repulsed by the thought. “The fuck is wrong with you?”
It burned bright, the rage inside his chest. “I just don’t feel like raping someone, Sir.” Not until his sentence ended, did Eren realize that he was almost growling at the older man. His heart plummeted to his stomach. Immediately, he stood in front of his superior, performing a ninety-degree bow. “My deepest apologies, Commander! I was out of line! I will take any kind of punishment for my words!”
Something glinted in the older man’s eyes, but whatever it was, he decided to ignore it. “It’s fine,” Magath said and Eren bowed once more before he scooted back to his position. His heart was thumping loud behind his rib cages.
The boy straightened his back and kept his eyes once more on a group of young Eldians, walking in line carrying twigs in their arms. Their jackets were much thinner if being compared to his, tattered with plenty of holes in them. And when Eren wore a warm, fur hat to protect his hair from snowflakes, they had none. The young soldier felt sorry for them, but it seemed like he was the only one with empathy in this place.
There was a little boy, with cheeks red and scratched by the falling snow, struggling to keep his wobbly feet on the ground. He was carrying more branches than his little arms could handle. The weight was too much and the snow was too deep for him to walk on and he fell, his face hitting piles of ice. The twigs he carried scattered everywhere. He was frustrated but he didn’t cry. Eren was amazed.
But then a soldier came over, slamming the end of his gun to the little boy’s head and screaming at him to get up. He hit him again, and again, and again until Eren could see the tear on his skin, fresh blood dripping down from the side of his temple.
Eren’s hold on his gun tightened.
“Careful, kid,” Magath reminded him, his voice as eerie as the night during an eclipse. Eren shuddered, but not from the cold. “You’re a kind young man, I know that much. But your kind values are the ones that are going to get you killed someday.”
Eren turned his head to look at the man, his eyes weren’t blinking. “Sir…?”
“Listen to me.” Magath locked his eyes with the soldier and Eren felt like he was being choked instead. “These Eldian people are vicious. That little boy you see there may look hopeless now, but he was ready to stab Galliard’s neck with a fork just to get more food less than a week ago. And women, especially, are even more dangerous. They betray us. They won’t hesitate to kill us in our sleep. We can’t trust them, Eren.”
Eren stayed still, though his mind was screaming: but we’re not that better either.
“They don’t deserve to be treated like people,” Magath continued, “Treat them like toys. You don’t share feelings with toys, do you? You play with them.”
Eren swallowed, his throat felt like it was made of sand. “And what do I do when I get bored with them, Sir?” the boy asked because that was what the man wanted to hear. Theo Magath didn’t want to witness kindness, sincerity, or mercy. He, just like any other soldiers here, craved power, grief, and lust.
Magath smiled, his eyes shimmering like a proud father’s.
“Then, it’s time to throw them away.”
***
Eren jolted awake when he heard a man screaming. He didn’t realize that he had fallen asleep for a few seconds on his feet, swallowed by the boredom of seeing the constant movements of young men collecting dry branches to build campfires that night. His head spun toward the source, his chest tightening at the sight. There, a few meters away from him, stood a very tall, well-built Marleyan soldier with short, coarse-looking dark hair that reached to his neck. A thin beard decorated his jawline, his smirk was nothing but menacing. His name was Kenny Ackerman.
He loomed tall as he beat a young man—who was probably around Eren’s age—to the cold, freezing ground. The branches fell out of the boy’s arms, meeting the earth almost without a sound. A splotch of blood spilled from his mouth when Kenny landed a harsh kick on his stomach, painting the snow like angry lipstick smeared on a blank canvas. His light ash-brown hair was falling over his eyes, concealing them.
Kenny Ackerman was his senior, but even if he weren’t, Eren still wouldn’t dare to stop him. That man was twice his size, with arms strong enough to break his wrists in seconds. Eren’s mind was telling him to not lift a muscle—that if he tried to stop the older man from beating the boy to death, he would meet his end that day as well. But his heart was thumping loud, sending a rush of adrenaline to course through his veins. He was old enough to know better, but his body was filled with young blood. Before he knew it, Eren made a step forward. It was probably his luck when another male appeared, kneeling in front of the soldier to beg for forgiveness.
It was another Eldian, as old as Eren was but seemed five times younger in appearance. He had a mop of golden hair, his body was frail and not as tall as the boy he was protecting. For a split second, Eren caught a glimmer of his irises. They were cerulean, as deep as the bottomless sea, as bright as the cloudless sky.
“Please let me explain,”hepleaded with two hands surrendering in the air, beseeching for mercy. “It was just a misunderstanding. My brother meant no harm.”
But Kenny Ackerman was not known for being kind. He was famous for being ruthless, the death reaper of the army who enjoyed robbing the light of his victim’s eyes. While Eren had never taken a life before—be it the Eldians or Marleyan soldiers who assaulted him by pushing him down into a frozen lake in the middle of the night—Kenny had killed hundreds. Eren knew that for a fact, because for every kill he did, that man carved a line on his barrack’s wall. The lines had become so many that Eren couldn’t see the original color of the wall anymore.
Kenny grasped the blonde-haired boy by his neck, lifting his hand until his feet could no longer touch the ground. His blue eyes started to water, croaking in pain as his fingers clawed frantically against the soldier’s wrist.
“That fucking brat tried to take a sip of my coffee,” Kenny bellowed, nudging his head to the other Eldian who was lying on the ground, his blood pooling in his mouth. “You think I can forgive him just like that?”
The boy coughed, pale skin turning scarlet as he was smothered by his large hand. His feet erratically moved in the air, trying to find a ground to stand on while his lungs were screaming for air. He was choking, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. A few seconds more and it would be over. A few seconds more then his blue eyes wouldn’t glimmer as radiantly. They would be dark. Hollow. Dead.
But Kenny had a change of heart. Instead of murdering him, the violent man tossed him back to the ground.
“Armin…” The other boy—the Eldian who Armin tried to protect so desperately—called, reaching out a hand to touch his brother who was gasping loudly. Eren felt a shiver running through his spine when he heard him speak in his Eldian language. It was clear that the Marleyan government had declared that all Eldians should abandon their mother tongue. They were only allowed to speak in Marleyan or to not speak at all. Break this rule and you would be starved for two days. Do it again and you’d have your tongue cut off. Hearing how he just spoke to his brother in his native language, Eren thought of two things: it was either he was rebelling or just plain stupid.
Surely, that word had consequences. Eren wasn’t surprised when the Eldian boy received another blow to his stomach.
What he didn’t expect, however, was when Armin slapped his hand away. “Jean!” he screamed. “Know your place!”
Jean looked like he stopped breathing for a second. So many things appeared in his eyes: from being confused to afraid until it finally ended with redeemed anger. Slowly, and painfully, Jean crawled to his stomach and pressed his forehead to the ground, bowing to his punisher.
“I’m sorry,” Jean muttered, his voice quavering and Eren knew that it wasn’t from the fear. It was from the wrath he tried to bottle inside his chest. Eren also noticed that tears were lining down his cheeks, but his sobs couldn’t be heard, muted by his gritted teeth. It was an agonizing sight to behold.
Armin kneeled next to him, imitating his posture, bowing deeply until his forehead met the ground. “Please, Sir… Show us some mercy…”
Kenny guffawed, looking delighted for the power he had over them. He placed one foot on Jean’s head, pressing it down until he screamed when the skin on his forehead broke and bled. “I can’t hear you, little boy,” the soldier said, his smile growing wider. “Come on, apologize some more. I’m sure even pigs like you can do it.”
Eren felt his heart stir. His hold around his shotgun was getting tighter, his nails turning white.
Panic painted Armin’s face as he watched Jean’s blood seeping through the snow. “S-sir,” he crawled forward, latching one hand against Kenny’s boots. “Let him go—"
“Don’t touch me!” Kenny kicked his face and Armin fell to his side, shaky hands covering his torn lip.
“I’m sorry!” Jean, unable to contain the agony, screamed. “I said I’m sorry, so please!” He sobbed, his face sinking in the snow. “Please let us go…”
Kenny released him with a satisfied grin. “Listen to your big brother, little boy,” he said, spitting on Jean’s limp body. “Know your place.” He took his leave with his chin tilted up in arrogance.
The ruckus ended there. The two boys were still lying helplessly on the ground, trying to catch their breaths and steady their hearts. The crowd around them—another bunch of powerless Eldians—tried to not pay attention to them even when their hands were itching to help. They continued walking with their heads hung low, hugging the branches close to their chest like they were ordered to before the sun sank below the horizon.
Eren felt sick. Everything was wrong. The world was not supposed to roll like this. It wasn’t supposed to resemble hell.
The young soldier walked with hurried steps toward the boys. He was the only one who was brave enough to examine their conditions. Jean, head raised in suspicion, scowled at him when he was close enough. He was like a cornered wolf, a raging flame in his eyes even his whole body was aching. Eren did not mind his anger. He had expected it.
Armin, on the other hand, was simply cautious. “Sir.” He bowed to Eren as he did to Kenny before, with his palms and forehead pressed against the ice. His voice was still quivering, his shoulders shaking both from pain and fear.
“Stand up,” Eren commanded, not too loud, not too firm. “Stand up and hide before the others come to check on you.”
Armin lifted his head, gazing at him with confusion in his eyes. “But…” His gaze shifted to the pile of branches that were scattered on the ground. “T-the branches—I haven’t finished—”
“I’ll tell them you’re done for the day.” He picked the other man up by his arm. “What’s your name?”
Armin tucked his chin down, anxious. “A-Armin Arlert, Sir…”
Eren took an old handkerchief from his pocket—one that his mother gave him during his departure—and handed it to the boy. “Here.”
The shorter boy blinked in bewilderment, perhaps contemplating whether Eren was just playing tricks on him. “S-sir?”
“To wipe your blood,” Eren explained, observing the deep cut on the corner of his mouth. “Don’t use your clothes, you’ll get germs on the wound.”
Armin’s shaky eyes searched his, wanting to decipher what was hidden between them but Eren kept his face guarded. “Y-yes, Sir, thank you…”
“I assume that’s your brother?”
Armin helped Jean return to his feet. “Yes. His name is Jean.”
“All right.” Eren tried to put on a reassuring smile. It was so rare to see a Marleyan soldier smile in such a benign way that it left the two boys stunned. “Armin, I want you to pick up your brother and find someplace safe to spend the night. There’s a lake two kilometers away from here. Keep walking south and you’ll find it. It’s safe, I’m the only one who knows that place. No one will find us over there. Sneak out an hour before dawn. There are fewer guards during that time. I’ll bring you guys some food.”
Jean, who was not as kind and trusting as his brother was, sent him a vicious glare. “Why should we trust you?” he bitterly asked. “Why should we believe that this isn’t just a sick plan of yours to get us killed?”
“Jean,” Armin called, his tone demanding silence from the other man. “Behave.”
“Because if I really wanted to kill you,” Eren replied. “You’d be dead by now.”
Jean didn’t look so assured but his eyes did flash toward the shotgun that Eren held in his hand. His fingers were nowhere near the trigger.
“Go clean up your wounds,” Eren reminded, “If you’re too late, there’s a possibility you’ll get infected. Medicine is scarce around here, even so for Eldians.”
Although he was better at masking it, Armin still seemed stupefied from receiving this kind of treatment, especially coming from one of the Marleyan’s soldiers. “But we—”
“We don’t have time to argue,” Eren cut him short, only then did he sound stern. He needed to step away right now before he raised any kind of suspicion. “Just do as I say and keep yourself safe. Please.”
And then he left, leaving the two boys with frowns breaking on their faces.
For the first time in his life, Eren felt good.
For the first time in his life, he finally knew how it felt like to be human.
***
“So your name’s Jean?” Eren questioned as he gave him enough food to keep the boy alive for another day. Jean’s intense light brown eyes shimmered in delight when his nose caught a whiff of bread. His stomach growled, begging for attention.
“Don’t call me that,” he snapped back, taking the loaf of bread without saying a word of gratitude. He took a huge bite, chewing loudly as he muttered, “I don’t want a Marleyan calling my name. That’s fucking disgusting.”
“But you’re eating the food I gave you.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m sorry,” Armin joined in, sighing at his sibling’s behavior. “He has no manners whatsoever.”
“I do have manners,” Jean corrected, licking his thumb from the breadcrumbs. “But unlike you, I just don’t feel like playing a goody two shoes around those fuckers, including him.”
Eren, weirdly, found his attitude amusing rather than insulting. “Still don’t trust me yet, do you?”
Jean didn’t even spare him a glance. He strolled away, taking a seat at the edge of the frozen lake, picking up pebbles and throwing them aimlessly.
“Jean isn’t always like this, you know,” Armin said, scooting closer to the brunette. They were both out of Jean’s hearing. The blonde male thanked him when Eren pushed a bottle of vodka in his direction. He might not like the taste of it, but it did a great job at keeping his body warm. “He used to be all fun and cheery.”
But now he’s bitter and spiteful. “Him? Cheery?” Eren almost chuckled. “Doesn’t seem like it fits.”
“He was annoying but… Kind.”
The melancholy in Armin’s voice made him wonder. “I guess everybody changed during the war, huh?” And not for the better, Eren mused, turning pensive. Including me.
Armin looked up and saw how the sky was faintly painted with a light shade of red and orange. Maybe they still had a little time to talk before the sun came up and they had to return to reality. “Jean and I aren’t families by blood,” he said, his voice a bit hollow, just like his stare. “But to me, he feels like one. We’ve been best friends since forever so I always thought of him as my sibling. We were neighbors, that was how we knew each other. One day, as we were walking back from school, a group of Marleyan soldiers entered our block and killed everyone in sight. I thought something happened. I thought we were punished. But these men… they were laughing. I got fifteen, I got twenty, they said, counting the bodies. They were playing games.”
It was horrifying, he thought, the fact that these soldiers murdered people for fun. But it wasn’t as eerie as the way Armin retold the story—empty eyes staring far away into the night, his soul breaking with every word he spoke. But his voice was steady. Emotionless. He was numb. The tiny hairs on Eren’s nape rose in dread but he kept his lips shut and his ears perked up.
“I invited Jean and his mother into my home since we had a basement we could use as a hiding place,” Armin continued, hugging his knees to his chest, sniffling from the cold. Eren wanted to steal some clothes for him to wear, but it would be impossible for other soldiers not to notice him. “We thought we were safe there when suddenly, two soldiers broke through our front door. Our parents tried to buy us some time to run away and his mother trusted me with her son’s life. I was only ten back then, Jean was just as young. But she thought I was smarter, that I would find a way to keep her son safe. But I was so frightened, I couldn’t think. I couldn’t do anything. So I hid in a closet with Jean plastered against me, and we waited until the soldiers went away. I remember how tightly we pressed our hands against our ears because we knew things wouldn’t end well. It only took a few minutes, three gunshots, and a train of laughter coming from the Marleyan men. Then it was all… silence.” Armin breathed deeply. “The next thing we knew, when we stepped down from the closet, our feet were soaked in our parents’ blood. And we covered our mouths as we cried. We didn’t make a sound. ”
Eren sat frozen. He never had the chance to console someone before, and he wasn’t certain whether Armin needed one. Unsure of what to say, he murmured, “I’m sorry.”
Armin smiled, warm as the sunlight. “Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.” He took the bottle from the soldier’s hand, taking another chug. “I’m sorry for rambling like this. What I’m trying to say is that… Jean used to be happy. He was a nice kid, but losing people you love tends to do that to you”
They both went quiet. Armin spent his time staring at Jean’s back, who was now trying to make small cracks on the edge of the lake. Eren, on the other hand, was busy trying to process all of the information he just received.
“Don’t look so sad,” Armin chastised gently. “I didn’t tell you my story so I could be pitied. I shared about my past so you’d realize that even after all these things that happened, Jean and I are still here. Alive and breathing. And it’s partially because of you.”
“Me?” Eren asked, startled. “I barely did anything.”
Armin gave him a knowing look. “I saw you back then. When that guy was strangling me, I saw you holding your gun like you were ready to shoot him. And a part of me believed that if he did hurt me more than that, you would’ve pulled the trigger for me.”
Eren turned scarlet. He wasn’t aware that he did that. Did his body move on its own?
“Am I wrong,” Armin took a closer look at the name sewed on his clothes. “Kruger?”
“Eren is fine,” the soldier said, not liking his Marleyan’s name. Ever since his mother got remarried to a Marleyan man, he was forced to change his family name. It had happened a few years back but he still hadn’t grown accustomed to it.
“You don’t look like a Marleyan to me,” Armin commented. His eyes were scrutinizing Eren’s appearance within every detail, but they were gentle, just like how he spoke.
“My parents were Eldians,” Eren said, a faint sad smile sketched upon his lips as he recalled his past. “My dad died in an accident a couple of years after I was born, and then my mother got remarried to a Marleyan guy. It happened way back before the war. For protection, my mother and I decided to change our names into his family name and pretended that we were Marleyan since birth.”
Armin listened intently. He stayed voiceless for a few seconds until he said, “And so you’re on their side now.”
Eren stiffened, every bit of his movements coming to a halt.
Was that true? Was that where his loyalty stood?
“Sorry,” the other boy hurriedly said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“I’m trying to choose a better option,” Eren quietly answered. “Even when I belong to the Marleyan army, I still think that this is not the way it should be. Being a Marleyan doesn’t mean we’re better than the Eldians. We don’t have the right to abuse, steal, or kill. I—” he realized that he was talking in one breath, his chest felt suffocating. “I just want to change how the world works, but I don’t know how. I’m in no such position to make amends.”
Armin gazed at him with too much going on behind his eyes and Eren wondered whether that was a bad thing or a good thing.
“What’s your name then?” Armin queried. His smile was so delicate, so genuine, and juvenile. “Your Eldian name?”
“Jaeger…” Eren licked his lower lip nervously. It had been a long time since he last spoke it out loud. “Eren Jaeger.”
Armin grinned widely and offered him his hand. Eren took it, a bit awkward as he was not used to having friendly interactions with people. “Nice to meet you, Eren Jaeger.” Armin shook his hand. His smile was a contagious disease. “It’s nice to see that there are still hopes left in humanity.”
The soldier froze for a few seconds before his face warmed in a smile.
“Likewise, Armin.”
***
“Eren!” Armin wrapped his arms around his shoulders the moment they met by the lake again. Several nights had passed by and Eren breathed in relief to know that he looked pretty much the same as when he last saw him. “How have you been, my friend?”
“I’ve been well,” Eren answered, smiling lightly at him as they broke their hug. Jean Kirstein came trailing after him with a familiar scowl in his eyes.
Eren smirked, tossing him a few loaves of bread, along with a fresh bottle of water. “Here you go, Horseface.” They had become close enough to make fun of each other during conversations.
“These aren’t poisoned, right?” Jean asked with an ungrateful tone.
Eren rolled his eyes. “I’ve brought you food for like five times by now and you still ask me that.”
“I was just being careful.”
He snorted in response and Armin laughed, patting the soldier’s back. “Come on and sit with us,” the most affectionate man among them offered kindly. “There’s a lot I want to talk about.”
While Jean was the more unsociable one, Armin was quite talkative and possibly nicer than anyone Eren had ever met. He loved to share his thoughts—mostly about the sea and the sky—and his hopes for a better world. Eren found it refreshing that in a gloomy place like this, he could find someone who was truly visionary and imaginative enough to light up the place with his presence.
“I wish I could marry someone someday, you know?” Armin said, lying on the ground with his arms folded under his head. His eyes twinkled, reflecting the stars in the sky, while his brother was busily munching on his bread with loud noises.
“Armin, that’s not gonna happen,” Jean commented and Eren laughed because while Armin and he usually spoke in the Marleyan language, Jean always talked in his native one.
“What do you mean it’s not gonna happen?” Armin pouted, making him look even younger. “I think I could find a nice woman for me one day.”
“We can’t even find enough food to live by tomorrow if this prick weren’t here to help us.”
Eren shook his head in amusement when Jean rudely pointed at him. Days had passed by and Jean still insisted on calling him with any derogatory term he could come up with instead of his name. “Always glad to help, buddy,” Eren joked, which earned him another glare from the tall boy.
Armin poked his brother by the stomach. “Which is why you should be more grateful toward Eren, you idiot.”
Jean scoffed, continuously glowering at the soldier as he took a large sip of his water. “This is the least he could do for us, Armin. Those fuckers took our families away, remember?”
“Jean,” Armin called, exhaling heavily as he sat up. He sounded a bit more enervated than usual. “Eren is different. Don’t put him on the same page—”
“He’s not different!” He harshly barked and Eren wished Jean could stop speaking like he wasn’t there. “This bastard belongs to the army! He’s not our friend, Armin! He will never be! All Marleyans deserve to die and so does he!”
Eren was stricken aback. Was that how Jean really thought of him? Just another heartless Marleyan with no soul? Even after all that time they spent together?
“Jean!” Armin scolded, his forehead creasing in anger. “You take that back and apologize to him!”
“If he could bring my mother back from the dead,” Jean said, standing up on his feet. “I’d forgive him.”
Armin could only open his mouth but he couldn’t speak. He noticed that the other man was crying when he pivoted on his heel, walking away with a storm raging in his chest. And Armin wondered whether it was from pain, anger, or suppressed frustration. Perhaps everything at once.
“God, I’m sorry,” Armin apologized, returning his gaze to Eren. “You know he doesn’t mean what he said.”
Eren only replied to him with a smile but his heart was shattered.
He didn’t know that he had to take responsibility for the things he didn’t do.
***
“First time?” A Marleyan officer asked Eren with a teasing look in his eyes.
Eren swallowed thickly, trying hard to will himself not to blush as he nodded and stored his gun away inside his locker. The other man snickered, leaning his back against the wall as he spoke to Eren with his arms crossed on his chest.
“I still remember my first time,” he sneered and Eren only listened half-heartedly, showing no emotion. He felt revolted watching these Marleyan soldiers walking past him with arrogance and dirty looks on their faces. How could they laugh so easily after they forced these poor women to satisfy their needs? How could they just throw them away without feeling any remorse or offering a single form of gratitude?
“My friend forced me to do this,” Eren said and he didn’t know why he needed to explain it. Perhaps he just wanted to give himself a chance to redeem the guilt of the sin he was about to commit.
“Ah,” the man slurred, his slanty eyes twinkling. “You all rookies said that at first. But when you’ve done it once, you could never stop. Before you know it, you’re gonna want to fuck them every day, believe me.”
Eren’s fingers balled into fists and he had to put his hands on his back to keep them away from showing. The young soldier only tossed him a smile, not revealing the rage that bubbled inside his chest.
“Shall we get in line, then?” The officer asked with a wink and Eren tried not to slam his cocky head against the wall. Fucking piece of shit.
Eren took the stairs, marching toward the second floor of the military brothel, as the first floor was inhabited by the more ‘experienced’ prostitutes to serve the noblemen in the Marleyan government. As soon as he stepped into the hallway, Eren was met by twenty soldiers already lining up, one soldier for each door. There were ten rooms there in total—each one consisted of a bed and a bathroom for the comfort women to clean themselves up after ‘serving’ their bodies for twenty to thirty men a day.
Eren held his breath down for a few seconds so he wouldn’t vomit. This place was sickening.
“I’d wait to get into that room if I were you,” the previous Marleyan officer said, pointing at the door that stood at the end of the hallway. “She’s a total beauty and doesn’t scream much when we do it with her. You’ll like her.”
As much as he wanted to punch that man, Eren knew his position. He smiled, nodded, and bowed before he followed his direction. He took a deep breath.
Let’s just get this over with.
He waited for about ten minutes before a man came out from the room he chose. Eren recognized him instantly. Kenny Ackerman. The same man who almost killed Jean and Armin a few weeks ago just by the strength of his foot. Another bile of rage started to pile in his chest but Eren channeled it down to a polite bow. The taller man zipped his pants, and smirked at the tanned boy before he walked away with his chin held up high.
“Have fun with that whore, brat,” that soldier said and Eren sank his fingers to his palms to keep his fists to himself.
For now, he had to think about something else.
He drew in a long breath, and he did it one more time to stop his heart from racing before he circled his fingers around the doorknob. He turned it open.
The moment he entered the room, his eyes scanned the place for a brief second like how he was trained in war—to always know your surroundings well, they said. Eren noticed the broken wooden chair in the corner of the room. He saw how the dirty bathroom had no sink and no door—only a small tub with soiled water and a piss pot. He noticed how the bed was big enough for two people but it had no pillows or blanket. The sheets were crumpled and the white color had turned into a dirty shade of cream, with splotches of red. And he knew for a fact that those stains on the sheet weren’t just made from blood.
But his eyes stopped moving when he saw a woman lying on the bed with not a single fabric covering her nudity. Eren quickly averted his gaze from the sight, even though all he could see was her back. In that short moment, he managed to notice the purple bruises blooming along her spine, tainting her skin with dry blood.
For a few seconds, he could hear soft sobs coming from the girl’s lips. And when he secretly glanced, he noted how her shoulders were shaking as she hugged her knees to her chest. He didn’t let his eyes linger on her body for too long. He felt like he was being disrespectful to her. Eren knew his friends would’ve laughed at the way he behaved, but he couldn’t force himself to stare even if he wanted to.
The young soldier closed the door behind him and with that small thud, the girl immediately froze. Her sobs were muffled and contained, and slowly, she turned her body around until she was lying on the bed with her eyes on the ceiling.
Eren brought his head down, not wanting to witness any more curves of her body. But before that, he spotted how wet her eyes were and how hollow they looked. Those weren’t the eyes of someone who had the will to continue living. Those were the eyes of the defeated, who were willing to sacrifice their lives just so they could stop living in this rotten world.
“Do it,” she said, her body lying limp on the bed. “What are you waiting for?”
He was petrified to the bones. His mind stopped working.
Eren’s heart thundered vehemently behind his chest. He couldn’t do this. There was no way he could do this. He never even wanted to in the first place, but an order was an order. They were alone in the room. Magath wouldn’t be able to tell, would he? Eren could just pretend.
That’s right, he thought. I’ll just have to pretend.
And so, he said, “Cover up.”
The woman’s lifeless eyes grew a bit wide but only for a second before she smiled understandingly. “Ah,” she said, “So, you’re that type, huh?”
Eren frowned, not knowing what she meant and he blushed when she pushed herself up to sit on the bed. “What’s next?” she asked, not looking ashamed of showing her nude body to the man. She kept her eyes in his direction, but her stare was blank as if she wasn’t looking at him, but through him. “Do you want me to bend over too, Sir? Begging you to give it to me?”
“That’s not—” Eren blurted out, face aflame. “Lady, please cover yourself up. I’m not going to do this with you.”
Her smile faltered. “What?”
“I mean,” Eren sighed, turning himself around to face the door. It was troubling to be in the same room with a lady who was so stripped of her conscience that she could no longer care about wearing proper clothes. “I am not going to have sex with you. I’m just going to be here for a while before I go out so they’ll think I’m…” His blush smeared his cheeks. “…doing it with you.”
“You…” Her voice had lost its confidence, and instead of pain and disappointment, he began to hear hopes in her soft voice. “You’re not going to do it with me?”
“No, I’m not,” he said. “So, please… Put on your clothes.”
The atmosphere was thick with heavy tension and pregnant silence. Eren continued to stay mute, only trying to listen to the rustling sounds she’d make when she placed back her robe. Except, there were none.
“Have you dressed properly?” Eren asked, sounding a bit restless.
“I…” She fell quiet before she continued again. “I can’t find my robe.”
His eyebrows sewed together in confusion, knowing well that her robe was lying on the floor, just beside her bed. How could she not see it?
Then recognition dawned on his face.
Those lifeless eyes. That blank stare.
Eren turned around, facing her again and it seemed like she heard the sound of his shoes sliding against the floor. With her body jolting in alert, she hastily wrapped her arms around her front. Eren didn’t let his gaze travel anywhere else but her eyes.
“You’re…” he spoke, lips parted in shock. “You’re blind?” It was more like a statement than a question but whatever it was, that line gave more sense of peril to her.
“Which is something I should be grateful for,” she said, smiling again as if it was the only way she knew to keep her mind sane. “Considering how many demons are walking around this place.” It was an act, Eren noted, a way for her to appear resilient. Fearless, even when her fingers were shaking.
Eren chewed on his lower lip. That sentence couldn’t be any truer.
Cautiously, he took a step forward and she jerked, pulling herself back in reflex. Eren understood then. She spoke like she was used to this kind of treatment, but she was just a girl, scared to her bones. She acted like she was strong, but deep inside, she was probably even more fragile than the first time she was abducted and brought to this place.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” Eren spoke, loud enough for her ears to hear but not soft enough for her to stop being terrified of him. “I promise you with my life, I will not hurt you.”
“That sounds like a lot of promise coming from a Marleyan soldier,” she retorted, sounding like she was amused by it but she was not fooling anyone but herself.
“I’m not lying,” the boy said, taking another step and she inhaled sharply. Eren stopped, raising both hands in the air as if he was surrendering. “I’m just… I’m just going to fetch your robe back to you, okay?”
Her lower lip still trembled but she didn’t do or say anything.
Eren kept his eyes to the ground as he walked forward to collect her robe. She kept fidgeting on the bed until she felt soft fabric hugging her from behind. She touched the robe, releasing a shuddering breath at the familiar sense of comfort it gave to her skin.
“Put it on.” Eren’s voice was soft and tender. He kept his eyes glued to her face. “It’s probably only for a few minutes before somebody comes in and takes my place but…” His lips still curved, forming a reassuring smile even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “As long as I’m with you here, you’re safe.”
You’re safe… The words echoed in her mind, tugging upon her heartstring. Was there a moment in her life when someone gave those words to her?
Her eyes grew wide and when Eren retrieved his hand, she reached out and clamped her frail fingers tightly around his wrist. His breath hitched in his throat, stunned.
For a few seconds, they just stood there like that. One of his eyebrows was raised in confusion but he didn’t ask questions. He knew she was doing something. He just couldn’t tell what.
“You…” she breathed out, looking up at him with eyes that were too beautiful to be functionless. “You’re not lying…”
Eren blinked twice before his realization sank in. She had been checking on his pulse.
He smiled, affection growing on him. She was smart and cautious. He didn’t even think of that and he was a trained soldier, albeit still new.
“I’m not lying,” he assured her once again. “Can you trust me?”
She swallowed and let him go. Careful not to make any sudden movement, he kneeled in front of her and wrapped the robe properly around her body without letting his gaze drift south. Eren’s cheeks were burning bright but at least he managed to stop his fingers from shaking.
“You’re okay,” he whispered, and her eyes searched his face as if she was taking every bit of his appearance, though he knew that was not the case. “You’re safe with me.”
She pressed her lips into a thin line, turning them white. Then, she nodded. Eren was about to sigh in relief when her whole body convulsed. She covered her mouth with one hand and she cried. Hard.
The girl who tried to cover her fear, the girl who acted bravely as she stood against the world, broke apart in front of him.
“Thank you…” she sobbed into her hand, her visionless eyes shutting tightly in gratefulness. “Thank you, Sir… Thank you…”
It felt different than the way Armin thanked him—similar, only her words brought a lot more joy to his heart than he had ever felt in his twenty-one years of living.
He could feel his heart beating. He could feel it race.
He felt alive.
***
“So how did it go?” Theo Magath asked his companion as he rubbed his fingers together to keep himself away from the cold. “Did you like your early birthday gift?”
His scowl almost found its way to his face but he managed to catch himself at the last second. “Yes, Sir. But I’d appreciate it more if we don’t discuss it any further—if that’s alright with you.”
“What, are you shy?” The older man sneered. “Fuck, Kruger, you’re no longer a damn virgin so stop acting like one.”
Eren let the matter drop. His seniors could think whatever they wanted to. It wouldn’t matter to him anyway.
“So, what now? Are you going to pay another visit to the brothel?”
“Yes,” Eren said, startling the other man with his answer but he kept his smile to himself. Perhaps next time, he could bring one of his old sleeping shirts for her. It would at least be warmer than just a layer of a maroon satin robe.
“That’s my boy!” Magath clapped him on the back. “Already wanting for more, huh?”
Eren sheepishly smiled, doing his part of acting. Though the joy that bloomed in his chest was too real to be faked. Eren brought his hand up and his eyes lingered on the skin along his wrist—on the spot where she touched him. He remembered the way she thanked him and it bloomed again. The rush of happiness suffused his chest. A spark of joy from being able to give someone a chance to learn that life was an adventure worth living for.
***
Eren knocked on the familiar wooden door and opened it without waiting too long for permission. If he had waited, it would only raise suspicions from the fellow soldiers that were waiting in line after him. He couldn’t afford that to happen.
“Good evening,” Eren greeted, bowing a little to the lady in front of him. He felt a bit silly as he knew she couldn’t see. “It’s, umm… It’s me again. From the other day.”
The girl’s body went still and her expression showed that she was putting on her defensive demeanor. She kept her ears ready, trying to decipher if the soldier who let her go the other day was really as kind as she thought he was.
“Why are you here?” she asked, almost too coldly to his ears. “You said you didn’t want to sleep with me.”
“That’s right,” Eren smiled. “I only came here to talk.”
“Talk?” she repeated, covering her body with her robe and Eren blushed when he caught his eyes dancing along the curve of her waist. “What do you want to talk about, Soldier? How to use women for pleasure?”
It wasn’t like her spiteful words didn’t hurt him. They did. But he didn’t want to let it show. “You should have more respect for yourself,” Eren said and she almost growled. He gulped. Did I say something wrong?
“Respect?” She snapped. “You want to talk about respect? My mother sold me here to get enough money to stay rich for the rest of her life. I have to sleep with more than twenty men a day just so I could get some food to live through the night. And when I wanted to die, they stripped me out of my clothes and hung me outside for everyone to see how low I’d become. You want to talk about respect? That’s the respect your people gave to me!”
Every word that came out of her mouth felt like a javelin piercing through his chest. But Eren knew well that she had no other way of channeling her anger and frustration. A few days ago, she thanked him for the few minutes of break and forgiveness. Now, she realized that it wouldn’t contribute much to easing her pain so she broke apart once again. It wasn’t fair that she lashed out at him, she knew that too. But when you can’t even stop your own feelings from hurting yourself, would you care about theirs?
She was breathing hard, her chest heaving up and down.
After waiting a few seconds in silence, he softly asked, “Are you finished?”
She bit the inside of her cheek, hot angry tears streaming down her face. He wanted to brush them away with his thumb but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. “I am not good with words,” Eren diffidently uttered, “And I don’t know if you would accept my apology on behalf of my country, but…”
Eren slid down to his knees, making a dull thud sound once they met the floor. He bowed down to her, his forehead pressed against the floor. “I beg for your forgiveness,” he said, eyes shut closed. “I apologize for the actions my country has done to you. You don’t deserve this. None of you do. I am in no position to grant you anything to pay back for the suffering you’ve endured. I don’t have permission to let you go, no matter how much I want to take you away from here. I am weak. I’m powerless. All I could do right now is bow my head down to you, ashamed and filled with guilt, hoping that you could forgive me, and—” He paused, a bit out of breath. “To ask you for… one thing.”
Her breathing was ragged and Eren lifted his head to gaze into her eyes.
“I want you to continue living,” he stated, and he could see the little jolt her body made, startled by his line. “I will not say that your life will be easy. I will not say that happiness will come to you by the end of this day or tomorrow. But I can promise you one thing: if you keep on living, I will try within my power to make some moments in your life, even if they are just measured in minutes or seconds, worth living for.”
She felt weak, her taut muscles loosening as she released the air she’d been holding. She closed her eyes, two droplets of tears falling to her cheeks.
“I will visit you every day.” Eren’s voice was like honey, sweet and comforting. “I will stay here if you want me to. I will read you books to keep you entertained. I will guard the door so you can have a few minutes of sleep. I will be your eyes and I will tell you when the cherry blossoms trees are blooming. I will describe the color of the sky and I will try every day for the rest of my life to find a way to release you from this place.”
“Why?” she asked, a crack in her voice. “Why would you do that for me?”
“Because ever since I met you,” Eren began and he could feel himself smiling. “I feel like I’ve found my chance to do something good for people, even if it was just only for a little. I saw how grateful you were when I let you go a few days ago. And I felt this joy spreading in my chest—so much that it scared me, and I want to feel that again. I want to make you feel that again. And that was the very reason why I’m doing this. Not only for you but for myself too.”
And she didn’t have to check on his wrist this time to know that he wasn’t lying.
***
This is the fifth time I’ve seen her and yet, she still appears to be scared of me. As if she still doubts my intention.
When I walk into her room, she seems to remember the sound of my steps. Her face is still guarded, her lips not forming a word. But she’s no longer angry or sad. She’s just there.
Breathing.
And living.
And that’s all I could ask for now.
***
“Soldier…” She called out with half-lidded eyes. Another week had gone by, or maybe even two, she could not tell. But he had visited her often enough for her to recognize his footsteps the second he walked into her chamber. Her wrists were still bruised from her previous encounter with a man who smirked wickedly when he exited her room. Eren had never felt so vexed with someone as he was back then.
He closed the door behind him, stepping closer to her spot. “I’m here.” He kneeled beside the bed, waiting for her to speak more. She was lying on her back, weak and breathless. Her voice sounded so hoarse as if her vocal cord was about to snap. Eren heard her painful screams before and every memory carved more scars on his heart.
“I’m sorry…” He lowered his head, unfamiliar with the pain. His teeth were cutting into his lower lip, his emotions churned like a hurricane. “I’m sorry…”
I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.
She sobbed quietly, reaching out a shaky hand. Soft tears started to fall from her vacant eyes at his apology. “It’s okay,” she said. “It’s not your fault.”
Eren cupped her hand with both of his warmer ones and brought it closer to his lips. His hot breath caressed her skin, soothing her bruise. “I’ll stay here,” Eren whispered, gently stroking her hair. “You don’t have to think about anything else as long as I’m here. You can sleep now…”
When she felt him lacing their fingers together, she breathed out in relief. “The skin of your palm…” A timid smile found her lips. “It’s so rough…”
Eren chuckled, even when it still felt like his chest was being torn open. “Must be because of my traini—” He stopped abruptly, his heart pounding. She was placing his hand on the side of her face, the callousness of his palm pressed against the smoothness of her cheek. Her lips bowed as she closed her eyes. She didn’t say a word, while his mind was jumbled with them.
His warmth was comforting. The texture of his palm was familiar. In his touch, she found her serenity. And just like that, her breathing became even. She began to fall asleep, drifting away from every wound and agony that life had inflicted on her. Right before she waned completely into her dreamland, a confession broke past her lips.
“Don’t leave me…”
Never had he felt his heart thrashing this wildly before. She was so beautiful. So pure, and so broken at the same time.Why did she have to go through all this pain?
“I won’t,” he promised herwith a voice so soft—it became a lullaby to her ears. “I won’t leave you. I’ll stay with you forever.”
I’ll stay with you for eternity.
***
“I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately,” Eren confessed, sticking a tree’s branch inside the firewood the three of them made that night. Armin sneaked a glance at his face, probably analyzing his expression to understand how Eren was feeling at the moment.
“Me too,” Jean muttered, yawning loudly as he threw a rock toward the frozen lake. Eren began to realize that it was a habit of his. “But you know the difference between you and me, Jackass? I don’t whine like a fucking girl about it.”
“Jean,” Armin scolded and his brother only shrugged. Eren mirrored the blonde boy’s apologetic smile, making gestures that he didn’t mind Jean’s words.
“Have you ever had a nightmare, Jean?” Eren asked and the other boy snorted loudly.
“My whole life is a nightmare,” he grumbled. “I wouldn’t know the difference even if I had one. And how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t call my name!”
“Please ignore my brother and his evil plan to spread despair to the world,” Armin joked and Jean threatened to throw pebbles at him. “What keeps you awake at night, Eren? Thinking of some lucky girl?”
While Jean snorted again, Eren began to smile sheepishly. “Sometimes… I guess?”
“Aaw, our little hero has finally found his heroine,” Armin cooed and Eren shoved him lightly by the shoulder.
“Shut up. It’s not always like that.” Eren huffed. “It’s more than that. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while because…” He paused, staring at the firewood with weary eyes. “Well, I guess it all started on the first day I stood on the field with a gun in my hands. I’ve had my fair share of training as a soldier, but what you see in real life is… different than anything you’ve imagined it to be.”
“Why?” Armin queried. Jean, who didn’t even bother to listen, yawned loudly as he placed his head on his brother’s lap. Eren gave them both a look but Armin waved a hand nonchalantly, muttering, “Ignore him. He’s been this clingy from the first time we met. I’m used to it by now.”
“Please. I know you like it, Min.”
“What, having a grown-ass man’s head on my lap? Very unlikely.”
And Eren smiled because this scene he witnessed right there, reminded him how it felt like to have a family. It had been a while since he last saw his mother, and only God knew how much he missed her at the moment.
“When I began my training,” Eren revealed, “The only thing that mattered to me was how to protect my country. How to not get your comrades killed in battles, and how to survive. But now, I see that that’s not how it works anymore. Being a soldier means we have to be ready to take lives. To murder innocent people. People like you and Jean.”
Armin stayed silent. The fire danced beautifully in his eyes, a spark of amber gleaming inside a sapphire.
“I don’t want to kill anyone.” Eren sounded as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I don’t want to be a murderer. I want to be someone who can protect. Someone who can help those in need. Someone who can make them happy.”
Armin smiled at him, pressing a comforting hand on Eren’s shoulder.
“Someday you will be, Eren. Someday you will be.”
***
“Unwinds this world that ever turns,” Eren recited, his voice was velvety when he vocalized the words that were written on the poetry book he held in his hand. “Slow it to a week. Where daybreak brings her honey kiss.” Just for a few seconds, he let his eyes take a journey to her lips, tracing the shape of her mouth, beautiful like a cupid’s bow. He caught himself, the blood that rushed to his face streamed down to his chest, pumping his heart harder. “And twilight, earthly tenderness, with night her rapt mystique.”
The lady was lying on her side, her eyes staring blankly at the spot where she could hear Eren’s voice the most. His tone was gentle and his voice felt like a symphony to her ears. It was easy to let go but she kept her eyes awake. She hadn’t trusted him that much to let herself sleep when he was in the same room with her. The previous night was an exception. Her body had felt so weak—drained—and she didn’t have the power to put up a fight to stay awake.
“Unwind this world that spins so fast,” Eren continued and she thought she could listen to his voice forever. Husky but young, awkward but soothing. “Slow it to a day. When clouds flow back against Time’s bend, and dying dreams reverse their end. Lost skiffs return to bay.”
The way the sunlight hit her skin made it glow and Eren felt a bit nervous. She was, indeed, a beauty. Art to be admired. No wonder she was the jewel of this place. No matter how many bruises bloomed from those forced kisses she had, no matter how many handprints and cuts from dirty nails appeared on her spine, she still looked like she was the purest form a soul could ever take in this world.
The book in his hand had been forgotten, his eyes lingered on her curves, but they were not the eyes of a hungry man. They weren’t fueled by lust. They were… entranced like a child lying on the grass, watching the stars taking shape into pretty constellations.
“Soldier…?”
He jolted awake from his stupor. “U-unwind this world that twirls so wild,” Eren read after he cleared his throat, shifting his gaze away. “Slow it to an hour. When friendships paint a lonely sky. Spry dancers, all bounds defy; Fresh buds elate in flower.”
With every word, her eyelids became even heavier and she felt his voice getting nearer but, to her surprise, her thoughts remained calm. This was comforting. He was comforting. He was, by all means, her safe haven.
She fell asleep.
“Unwind this world that whips around,” Eren whispered, returning the small poetry book to the pocket of his beige coat. He kneeled beside the bed, brushing her stray hair away from her face with delicate fingers. “Slow it to that time.” He adored everything about her. The way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheekbones; the blissful look on her face as she sank deeper into her dream, her parted lips, and the soft breath that flowed through them. “When our goodbyes were yet of tongue, and Cupid’s arrow had just been flung.” Her cheeks were still wet with tears that never seemed to stop, purple bruises blooming on her porcelain skin.
How can I save you?
Closing his eyes, Eren leaned in and planted a tender kiss on the spot between her eyebrows. The lady stirred a little in her sleep and he reciprocated with a smile.
“Our love, a love sublime.”
***
“All right, now let’s get down to business,” Theo Magath stated, blinking Eren away from his thoughts. “Our witnesses claimed that there were a bunch of Eldians trying to steal something from our storage room last night. We’re gonna find out who they are.”
Eren felt an eerie feeling swirling in his gut. These last few days have felt like the sweetest dream that he staggered as he stepped back int
